Happy Mother's Day to my second least embarrassing parent on Facebook.

May 9, 2013, 8:30 am

≫ Next: Happy Accidental Mother's Day.

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Happy Accidental Mother's Day.

May 9, 2013, 8:50 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and for 29 years financially.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to my second least embarrassing parent on Facebook.

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Happy Mother's Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and for 29 years financially.

May 9, 2013, 9:20 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to someone smart enough to avoid motherhood.

≪ Previous: Happy Accidental Mother's Day.

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Happy Mother's Day to someone smart enough to avoid motherhood.

May 9, 2013, 9:30 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to a MILF porn enthusiast.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and for 29 years financially.

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Happy Mother's Day to a MILF porn enthusiast.

May 9, 2013, 9:44 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to a new mom who has yet to mess up someone else's life.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to someone smart enough to avoid motherhood.

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Happy Mother's Day to a new mom who has yet to mess up someone else's life.

May 9, 2013, 11:42 am

≫ Next: Mom, it's so great how much closer we've gotten since you started texting instead of calling.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to a MILF porn enthusiast.

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Mom, it's so great how much closer we've gotten since you started texting instead of calling.

May 9, 2013, 11:47 am

≫ Next: Mom, You'll always be my best friend when I can't stand my best friends.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to a new mom who has yet to mess up someone else's life.

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Mom, You'll always be my best friend when I can't stand my best friends.

May 9, 2013, 12:01 pm

≫ Next: Mom Coupon: Good for one feigned enthusiastic response to hearing about the engagement of a kid I went to middle school with.

≪ Previous: Mom, it's so great how much closer we've gotten since you started texting instead of calling.

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Mom Coupon: Good for one feigned enthusiastic response to hearing about the engagement of a kid I went to middle school with.

May 10, 2013, 7:18 am

≫ Next: Happy awkward Mother's Day to all the stepmothers out there.

≪ Previous: Mom, You'll always be my best friend when I can't stand my best friends.

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Happy awkward Mother's Day to all the stepmothers out there.

May 10, 2013, 7:30 am

≫ Next: Mom, I hope to someday he half as brilliant, generous, and beautiful as you are, but twice as capable of using the Internet.

≪ Previous: Mom Coupon: Good for one feigned enthusiastic response to hearing about the engagement of a kid I went to middle school with.

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Mom, I hope to someday he half as brilliant, generous, and beautiful as you are, but twice as capable of using the Internet.

May 10, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to someone I'd love to recklessly impregnate this weekend.

≪ Previous: Happy awkward Mother's Day to all the stepmothers out there.

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Happy Mother's Day to someone I'd love to recklessly impregnate this weekend.

May 10, 2013, 8:32 am

≫ Next: Mom, I can't even imagine how proud you are of me for remembering to send you a Mother's Day card.

≪ Previous: Mom, I hope to someday he half as brilliant, generous, and beautiful as you are, but twice as capable of using the Internet.

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Mom, I can't even imagine how proud you are of me for remembering to send you a Mother's Day card.

May 10, 2013, 8:47 am

≫ Next: Whole Foods accidentally tricks vegans into eating like humans have for 200,000 years.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to someone I'd love to recklessly impregnate this weekend.

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Whole Foods accidentally tricks vegans into eating like humans have for 200,000 years.

May 10, 2013, 9:03 am

≫ Next: I don't need a holiday devoted to moms to spend the weekend in a spiral of guilt and shame.

≪ Previous: Mom, I can't even imagine how proud you are of me for remembering to send you a Mother's Day card.

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Read the full article at TheGist.com >>

I don't need a holiday devoted to moms to spend the weekend in a spiral of guilt and shame.

May 10, 2013, 9:16 am

≫ Next: Mom, let's celebrate the commercialization of our love with an overpriced Mother's Day brunch.

≪ Previous: Whole Foods accidentally tricks vegans into eating like humans have for 200,000 years.

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Mom, let's celebrate the commercialization of our love with an overpriced Mother's Day brunch.

May 10, 2013, 10:15 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to someone who'll be a great mom by her second child.

≪ Previous: I don't need a holiday devoted to moms to spend the weekend in a spiral of guilt and shame.

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Happy Mother's Day to someone who'll be a great mom by her second child.

May 10, 2013, 10:44 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to someone who's not just hot for a mom.

≪ Previous: Mom, let's celebrate the commercialization of our love with an overpriced Mother's Day brunch.

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Happy Mother's Day to someone who's not just hot for a mom.

May 10, 2013, 11:01 am

≫ Next: I hope you put more planning into my Mother's Day celebration than I did into getting pregnant with you.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to someone who'll be a great mom by her second child.

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I hope you put more planning into my Mother's Day celebration than I did into getting pregnant with you.

May 10, 2013, 11:45 am

≫ Next: Happy Mother's Day to someone I hope is my last stepmother.

≪ Previous: Happy Mother's Day to someone who's not just hot for a mom.

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Happy Mother's Day to someone I hope is my last stepmother.

May 10, 2013, 12:03 pm

≫ Next: Mom Coupon: Redeemable for one instance of my reading a forwarded email from you.

≪ Previous: I hope you put more planning into my Mother's Day celebration than I did into getting pregnant with you.

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