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Reporter Steve Campion casually breaks from reporting to rescue Texas man from his sinking car.

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Reporter Steve Campion went far beyond his job as a mere reporter to stop and actually help a man whose car had gotten trapped in high water. Houston, Texas is experiencing major flooding this week so bad that it suspended the city's bus and rail service, and resulted in 50,000 power outages. Due to over sixteen inches of rain and counting, many found their cars submerged in water.

https://www.facebook.com/KTRKHouston/videos/10153833594384342/

At least one man found his car submerged with him still in it. Above is the video of Campion wading out into the water, microphone still in hand, to help the shocked man who almost went down with the ship SUV. 

Campion's like a superhero who is really half-assing it. He's clearly exasperated when he yells, "Swim!" Still, it's too bad there aren't enough Steve Campions to go around helping everyone during this scary time. As Houston continues to get annihilated by the severe weather, Campion continues to give updates on his Twitter. 

https://twitter.com/SteveABC13/status/722139624462618624https://twitter.com/SteveABC13/status/722023734236721153https://twitter.com/SteveABC13/status/722195662780018689

Probably best to stay indoors for a few days, Houston residents. If you do need to go out for any reason, please wear a life preserver.  


School separates boys and girls, give one a modesty lecture and other a dance party. Guess which.

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Colette Scorzetti, a student at Cardinal O'Hara High School in Pennsylvania, went to an all-girl student assembly this month while her male classmates went to their own assembly. The girls were told to dress modestly so as to not distract the boys and that their virginity was "a gift to their future husbands." The boys were thrown a dance party. So Scorzetti wrote this open letter to the girls at her school:

https://www.facebook.com/colette.scorzetti/posts/515178652002562

It reads:

Okay Facebook, it's story time... So on Wednesday, O'Hara was split between boys and girls for two different assemblies. The boys had a dance party, while the girls were given a disturbing talk about "modesty". The following was my initial response, but at the time I was afraid to post it because I thought I was the only one to think this way. During school today, however, I have learned that everyone else was equally disgusted as I was, and I think I would like to share my thoughts from Wednesday.

Dear fellow O'Hara students, (specifically girls)

Today we had an assembly. An assembly that was supposed to be about "modesty", or as the PowerPoint said "the female body, inside and out". Going into this assembly, I'm sure we all had a gut feeling that it was going to be awful. Let's be real, a lot of our speakers can seem to drag on forever.

However, I can honestly say that what we got today was not what I expected, and not in a good way. I understand that we are a Catholic school. I understand that there are certain moral guidelines that we are expected to follow. I understand that modesty is not nearly as relative to the church as it is to the rest of the world...

But let me get one thing straight. That does not give anyone the right to tell you that you shouldn't be in charge of your own body. YOUR body. Sitting in that auditorium today, I was infuriated by what I heard. These are the exact lessons we were taught today.

1.) we were told that girls need to dress appropriately so as not to stimulate the boys. This is promoting RAPE CULTURE. It is destroying the self esteem of girls across the world and replacing it with fear and hatred of our own bodies. 
2.) we were told that our bodies and appearances don't make us who we are, by a woman who was in fact wearing makeup and had her hair done, and modeled professionally for several years.
3.) we were taught to treat our virginity as a gift to our future husband. Not to do it for yourself, but a gift for your future husband... We were given the analogy of a birthday present that had already been used and was therefore worthless. 
4.) apparently learning to love yourself for who you are and helping others do the same is a crime against God, because "Lady Gaga went to a good Catholic school and she had such a beautiful voice, but she's using it for the wrong reasons!" -- side note, she was BULLIED in that "good catholic school", no wonder she wanted to forget it.

Look. I understand that the talk was coming from a place of good intentions, but it was wildly inappropriate and frankly absurd. As someone who believes in a God that loves everyone, no matter how you dress or who you are as long as you spread love and compassion, this talk was as far from what God wants from us as it could be.

During the talk, she quoted Saint Frances DeSales... Well, I'd like to quote him as well. But in a positive, non-shaming manner.
"Be who you are and be that well."
Funny how there's no mention of me going to hell for wearing a bikini.

As one commenter on her Facebook post said, "I can't tell if I'm more appalled that this assembly happened or that the boys didn't get one." 

Someecards has reached out to Scorzetti and Cardinal O'Hara High School for comment. 

You haven't watched 'The Force Awakens' until you've watched it with commentary by 'Arnold Schwarzenegger.'

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Forget what J.J. Abrams or Daisy Ridley have to say on The Force Awakens' Blu-Ray commentary, Will Sasso's dead-ringer Arnold Schwarzenegger impression is what you need for a complete Star Warsviewing experience. The MADtv alumnus nails the sense of wonderment all movie-goers felt during Episode VII and imbues it with the perfect amount of Austrian body-builder guffawing.

Sasso's Schwarzenegger doesn't just enjoy going to the movies. He also enjoys screaming at cars in traffic, which you can enjoy below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p16J29PZP1k

Article 22

Newly released Jared Fogle text messages are even creepier than you imagine.

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Jared Fogle, disgraced former Subway spokesperson/owner of large pants/convicted pedophile, is appealing his 15.6-year prison sentence. And, in an example of perfect irony, his appeal has prompted the prosecution to reveal more about the texts and emails that resulted in his arrest and subsequent conviction in the first place. According to The Wrap, on Monday prosecutors disclosed that Fogle had sex with at least two minors, aged 16 and 17, and had sent texts to "escorts" promising payment for girls even younger. (Hang on, vomiting.)

Can a few years be added to his based on how creepy his smile is?

Prosecutors argued that Fogle had a system: “Fogle had a pattern: He found adult escorts through the Internet, developed relationships with them, and offered them finder’s fees to provide him with access to minors for commercial sex.”

One of the texts revealed Monday was: "I’m horny again. Is your Asian friend available?" (ewwww no! NO!). When asked if he would also pay the adult who was providing the minor, Fogle texted: "I can pay you a little finder’s fee. I’ll pay you big for a 14- or 15-year old." (JARED, NO!) In another text, Fogle asked, "Do you have any access to any young girls? Like 15 or 16?" And when asked why, Jared responded: "Cause it’s what I crave! … I would hook you up nicely if you did."

Oh, boy. No, no, no. First of all, sorry, White Castle Crave Cases. No one is ever going to be able to order you without feeling grossed out (well, even more grossed out than they normally would be). And pregnancy cravings will take on a whole new meaning.

Fogle maintains that he was set up, but, in legal terms: come on, dude. The prosecution team had originally agreed not to seek a sentence greater than 12.5 years, but the papers they filed Monday asserted that the sentence of 15.6 was actually fair. They argue that Fogle "went to great lengths to engage in commercial sex acts with underage minors." They continue:

He bought and offered plane tickets. reserved and paid for the hotel rooms, made arrangements for the commercial sex acts. A fair review of the record shows that the district court clearly sentenced Fogle only for his own concrete conduct, which was very serious … The district court did not abuse her discretion in choosing to sentence Fogle above the applicable guidelines range.”

Based on the content of those texts, 15 years hardly seems like enough, but in another example of irony, it's about the age of the girls he was looking for.

Oh, Jared, how you must wish you'd never taken your (big) pants off at all.

25 of the most ridiculously over-the-top 'promposals' ever.

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Between their Snapchatting,Nae Nae-ing and dabbing, the youths of today are plotting elaborate public stunts to ask one another to the prom. Involving animals, flashmobs, and various forms of choreography, these kids put more effort (and money) into their "promposals" than they ultimately will with their marriage proposals, mostly because they've already achieved their moment of viral fame. Here are some of the most over-the-top promposals that were probably a bigger deal than prom night itself.

1. The Chuck Norris cameo. 

So Chuck Norris helped a girl at my school ask someone to prom...
His tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried. 

2. This laborious waste of cups. 

A picture of Harrison Ford would have been easier. 

3. A locker full of balls. 

Prom?
Dancing all night pong.

4. This crazy passive-aggressive approach. 

Guy asks girl to prom in the douchiest way possible (cross-post from /r/wtf)
That dildo will experience what he never will. 

5. Dogs. DOGS. DOGS!!!!!!!!!

https://twitter.com/besttproposals/status/721816405205626880

6. No ifs, ands or butts.

https://twitter.com/ThePromposal/status/710302693261180928

7. A full pep rally.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEPWsIJmPaF/?tagged=promposal

8. Irresistible Beyoncé tickets. 

Remember those walls she built? Well, baby they're tumbling down.

9. Bulldozing bullsh*t.

https://twitter.com/jjalangbein/status/718950409138647040

10. The hole thing.

How'd he get her precise measurements?

11. The full FlashMob.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BER9wGNId4X/?tagged=promposal

12. Free underwear. 

Kind of a creepy way to get into her panties. 

13. Not just horseplay.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BER7Sr0uclx/?tagged=promposal

 

14. What a waste of taxpayer money.

https://twitter.com/ThePromposal/status/591034232790720513

15. Um, have they seen the end of the movie?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BESKthONtbl/?tagged=promposal

 

16. That's gonna hurt.

https://twitter.com/ThePromposal/status/575360265090383872

17. A sticky situation.

Way to put some heart into it!  Hope the answer was yes. Next step is finding a great tuxedo for prom. 
Stick it to your parents.

18. 354 days, but who's counting?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BERaQiRweVw/?tagged=promposal

19. The stuff of (John) Legend

https://twitter.com/TanBiitches/status/721002667905052672

20. A little bit of product placement.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEUNVthAtXL/?tagged=promposal

21. In plane sight.

https://twitter.com/jordan_tyler64/status/718833695981989888

22. Making the best of America's crumbling infrastructure.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEUzl1tPY1Q/?tagged=promposal

23. #CheerSquadGoals.

https://twitter.com/syyylverr_/status/718686371754278912

24. Bringing out the big guns.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BETLKFyOPb6/?tagged=promposal

25. Junk in the trunk.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEQ7KllIS9D/?tagged=promposal

Emily Blunt looked like Elsa from 'Frozen,' and Charlize Theron's son wouldn't let it go.

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Emily Blunt co-stars in The Huntsman: Winter's War, a Snow White prequel/sequel, wearing a snowy white wig. With her hair blonde and braided, people couldn't help but confuse her for Elsa from Frozen: 

They even have a similar head tilt. 

Most excited about the likeness was Charlize Theron's four-year-old son Jackson, who spent a lot of time on set psyched about seeing Elsa IRL. He did, however, have a hard time coping with seeing the princess in sweatpants. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3raPXvWiq4

When you think you've met the real Elsa, it's hard to let it go. 

This bulldozer battle is not staged for anyone's amusement. This is a real live bulldozer fight.

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In the Hebei province of northern China, two construction companies engaged in an insane six-bulldozer battle over turf in the country's rapidly-declining construction business. No arrests or injuries have been made public yet, but one thing is for certain: the footage is unlike anything you've ever seen.

It's kind of like that scene in Footloose where Kevin Bacon plays chicken on tractors, except it's with bulldozers and nobody flinches. Machines are toppled, people flee their vehicles only to join allies' machines and lift theirs back up. The people filming it even had time to flee to a safer location before getting more footage of the brawl, which looks like something out of a multiplayer video game. It's unclear which construction company came out on top, but the aftermath left the street blocked with the corpses of heavy-duty machinery.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrtnIImGipg

People confessed the worst things they've ever done at work. You'll feel like employee of the month.

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Most people spend eight long, long hours a day at work, so there are bound to be some highs and lows. But for every free cake in the break room, there's a passive-aggressive fridge note… or an even worse decision. Hopefully, you've never done anything as bad as the redditors on this list.

Just another day at the office.

1. This story is from a user whose Reddit identity was deleted, just like their law career.

I used to work in a law firm. I left a file in mail room and mail room sent it to the opposing side. I no longer work in a law firm.

2. When dealing with elmatador12, wait your turn or pay the price.

I was working at an extremely busy gas station with a line out the door. The woman came in going right to the front asking for directions. I said I would be glad to help her, but let me get through these paying customers first. (I was the only one there, and this is before Google Maps). Well she would not stop yelling about it and interrupting. So finally I asked where she was going. She said the name of a mall that was literally down the street. I gave her directions to another mall 20 minutes away. All the customers watched and listened to me give these wrong directions. When she was in her car driving away, the 10 or so customers I had in the store gave me a resounding applause.

3. roastbeefandtoast had a moment that would be hilarious on an old sitcom, but quite humiliating in real life.

Worst thing I ever did, ever in my life, was when I worked at a cafe. I was running out orders and bussing tables, and I was just learning how to hold the tray properly with my left hand. So I get an order; one cappuccino, one strawberry milkshake, for a mother and her little girl. As I get to their table, I put the coffee in front of the woman, then unbalance the tray and accidentally spill the milkshake. All over this seven year old kid. It was her birthday and they were her new clothes and shoes. Man, even her feet were just swimming in milkshake. Horrifying.

4. That day itscirony just didn't have their brain. Or anybody else's.

I dropped a brain... Actually if I'm being honest I dropped two...

EDIT: For those of you who are asking, I'm a neuroscientist. The brains were for research purposes! (They were also mice brains, and anyone who owns a mouse knows how wiggly they can be!)

Dramatization.

5. Bearbats was really on the ball at his job.

I worked as a busboy for a good three years. For the last year, I worked my entire shift with my testicles hanging out of my fly. I wear an apron, so no one ever, ever noticed.

6. This story from willworkforIPA shows it's pretty bad to drop heavy, toxic things on anybody, let alone your boss.

I dropped an x-ray tube head on a full-bird colonel who also happened to be the squadron commander. Pretty solid laceration with a lot of blood. Happened about a week ago now, and we've already had 5 briefings about safety in the workplace, specifically focused on X-ray machines.

7. Ibrah1mMoizoos can tell you it's always a good idea to wear gloves.

I work at a golf course and me and a fellow employee were digging up a sprinkler head that was installed in the ground. I had a shovel and he was taking the dirt out with his hands. I speared his thumb about halfway off. Blood everywhere.

8. If you think that the stripper "really likes you," and that stripper is peepbeep, you are very wrong.

I am a stripper and I fart on nearly everyone I give a lapdance to, but no one's ever noticed because boobs. It's the little things.

9. If murder_cheeze had time to lean, then he had time to clean.

When was 16, I worked at Arby's, and my manager always rode my ass to clean the bathroom, including the inside of the toilet barehanded, the walls, the floor, the sink, everything. I hated this job, so I swirled the mop around the inside of the toilet, used the newly-wet mop to take care of the walls, and then used it to clean the sink.

I had a little growing up to do.

You may never feel clean again.

10. Muteent2 figured out a way to ice out a coworker. Literally.

I once cut a slit in a hose that would spray on a car throughout the freezing night because the person was cruel and mean to everyone she came in contact with. We didn't kick her out of the hotel, but everyone refused to help her the next morning then her small car was completely frozen. There was at least a solid inch of ice over her entire car and a nice sheet of ice surrounding it making it difficult to chip it off the car.

11. Your_Jaws_My_Balls stole drugs from work, which you can't do at most workplaces.

I worked in the medical supply department for a major hospital. We had keys to the room where tanks of gas were stored..like O2 and things like that. One day I organized and participated in a 3-man operation to steal a large tank of anesthetic gas (nitrous oxide) and a regulator. We took this thing back to my apartment and I sold balloons full of it for $1 a piece. I dominated the whip-it cartel for the whole summer that year.

12. If you've ever accidentally "Replied All" to something you shouldn't have, consider that organicchemist almost killed the entire staff.

As a young research chemist I dumped a significant amount of sodium cyanide into an organic waste container that sat out in the lab. Our lab's organic waste was usually acidic and was at the time, which caused cyanide gas fill the lab.... thankfully cyanide gas isn't as toxic as people think and it was caught early by an attentive post-doc with a good sense of smell.

13. And then there's _tx, who apparently helped destroy the economy.

I screwed up the review of a valuation so a fund ended up paying about 5m more than it really should have for a portfolio investment.

The rich get richer.

14. Endless_Vanity probably shouldn't have a job dealing with cars. Or doors.

I ripped the doors off a semi. The trailer was parked inside our unloading area. Locked in by the building. I hopped in the cab and drove out. Tore the guys right off. Oops.

15. User grimrox made a plumber's entire working life flash before his eyes (and all over his body).

Working on a building site during the initial strip out phase I needed to use the toilet. Went for a crap, hit the flush and returned to the site office only to hear yelling from downstairs. The plumber we'd contracted was standing in a puddle holding the soil pipe he was disconnecting and had poop on him and the floor. No one had thought to put up a sign not to use the mains toilets.

16. Have you ever wonder who relieves the ticket-taker in their little booth? According to TheRedEminence, nobody does, so he had to relieve himself.

Working in a ticket sales booth at Six Flags. They left me there for eight hours despite my having to pee for the last five of them. Finally, I peed in the vacuum tube which takes the money to the counting room. At the end of the day people were wondering about the tiny droplets on all the canisters.

17. RoughestNeckAround doesn't leave fridge notes. He gets even.

I was working in an office, doing office-type work. There was this one dickhead, Tim, who kept stealing everyone's sandwiches from the fridge. Everyone knew it was him, but he'd never admit. One day I took a tin of Skoal and dumped it in between two pieces of bread. No cheese, no meat, no mustard, just a straight up Skoal sandwich. Of course Tim stole my sandwich that day. I found the sandwich in the garbage later that day with one BIG bite missing. Tim "wasn't feeling so good" and took the rest of the day off. I'm sure he was still puking the next morning. You DON'T mess with a man's sandwich.​

 

Et tu, sandwich?

Your stomach will jump as this stuntman does a backflip over a Formula E car going 60+ mph.

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Damien Walters is a gymnast, freerunner (it's like parkour) and stuntperson. On Monday, he posted a video to YouTube of himself flipping over a Formula E race car driving directly towards him at 62 miles an hour. Not just flipping, but backflipping. So he couldn't even see the car coming. Don't ask why. Just enjoy watching his insane feat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF9bbY3-lQU

Walters has been a stunt double in a number of movies, including The Huntsman: Winter's War, Kingsman: The Secret Service, 47 Ronin, Skyfall, and Kick-Ass, where he's credited as assistant fight coordinator as well as stunt double.

Here's a video of him flipping over a wholehouse. Because why not?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSJpjPkTYVc&ebc=ANyPxKpJ7D1w03R78-5q4az8xHZNlkU9XN-E8EAWyXTzmT4wlyMNKUKdAJBon_PjHSCd0j2yLAkO6O-bVgsjbVBIQEfPflevXQ

Article 15

‘Vogue’ interviewed Taylor Swift at home so now you can see inside Taylor Swift’s home.

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Prior to the Grammys, Vogue cover model Taylor Swift allowed the magazine to traipse through her Beverly Hills home while throwing a barrage of questions her way. This installment of "73 Questions" will wildly please any intense T. Swift fan, while also entertaining the variety of people who simply want to see inside a rich person's house. Skip ahead to 3:59 to hear what Calvin Harris gave her for Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnbCSboujF4

OK, her answers are nice, and Swift comes off as pretty personable in the interview, but let's talk about her house. All in all, it's very nice house, though a bit smaller than one might expect for a fabulously wealthy and stylish person.

Then again, it's not like she's roughing it in this house.

Her piano room is cozy as can be.

It is where the true magic happens.

Her kitchen is goddamn perfect.

Coupled with the knowledge that she bakes treats like these cookies there, this room is seriously drool-worthy.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BEHuyZ-jvBH/?taken-by=taylorswift

And her faucet. Ah, that faucet.

Work of beauty.

Her outdoor space is a Pinterest dream come true.

C'mon, look at the bike. Everyone has pinned something like that bike. 

Also: that coat.

Where is it from? It's very important.

Then there was that other room with the cat stuff and a Grammy casually laid out on a side table. 

It's an oddly dark (and kinda cluttered) look for the high-spirited singer. But it works. It involves cats, after all. 

Article 13

Man plunges his hands into fire ant mound to demonstrate what a bad idea that is.

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From the department of "but why?!" comes this fire ant video from the very daring but very masochistic adventurer and nature enthusiast Coyote Peterson. Peterson, who let himself be bit by harvester ants in the past, wanted to demonstrate to his fans on his Brave Wilderness YouTube channel the ferocious swarming tendencies of fire ants. (Editor's Note: As a former Florida resident, this is not a lesson any kid who accidentally kicked the wrong dirt pile needs to be taught twice.) 

Peterson set a goal for himself of letting the ants bite him for 60 seconds, but even a guy whose entire YouTube raison d'être is stuff like this could only manage a little over half that. This resulted in over 300 bites and stings that took over 30 days to heal and have since left scars. So, the least you could do is watch. (Jump to 3:10 if you want to get straight to the pain.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwAmn7-ChhQ

David Spade tells Ellen about when he drunkenly embarrassed himself in front of Adele. It's not pretty.

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On Tuesday's episode of Ellen, guest David Spade talked about the time he got starstruck seeing Adele in a restaurant, but totally managed to maintain his cool. Until he got drunk, anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ugj7nq-mlg

After a few drinks ("loudmouth soup"), Spade convinced himself that Adele would be mad if he didn't say hi (it's part of the famous person code), and asked her bodyguard if he could talk to her. She mentioned that she was playing the Staples Center in August, and he replied, for some unknown reason (liquor), "Ooh, that whole month is tough for me." Spade recounts some other gaffes he made, but Adele was very nice about the whole thing, because she's Adele.


This rainbow highlighter will make your skin look like a fairy puked on you. But in a good way.

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Bitter Lace Beauty, a company that sells handmade makeup on Etsy, recently made a rainbow skin highlighter called Prism, and makeup addicts everywhere are fiending hard for it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEB-hWKH8-D/

On Sunday, a picture of the product was posted on the Instagram aggregator account @cohmedy without any identifying information (gah, annoying!), so makeup junkies/sleuths went on Reddit to try to suss out the name of the product and where they could get it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEUpXRAmohG/

The color was originally supposed to be a limited edition St. Patrick's Day release, but the company decided to add it to their permanent line. Which is good, because when it became available for purchase, it sold out almost immediately.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD8t-Q8n822/

SO SPARKLY! A perfect powder rainbow.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD8qG_Vn8-s/

But the owner of Bitter Lace assured everyone that it would be back in stock soon. SO CALM DOWN, EVERYBODY. Soon you, too, will be able to look like a unicorn sneezed on your face. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD6yjTkn85O/

18 tips on being a woman from etiquette books over the past 160 years.

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Over the past few hundred years, etiquette books have cropped up as a means of preserving the sanctity of "good" society, striving to instruct both sexes on all aspects of how to live a proper life, from getting dressed for a party to making living arrangements. Unsurprisingly, the ones for women are often the most ridiculous. Here are 18 tips for how to be a true lady, gleaned from texts published between 1856 and 2007. You might be surprised how little they've changed. (The sourcing comes after a group of quotes from each book).

1. "Make your company a rarity, and people will value it. Men despise what they can easily have."

She's alone, because her company's a rarity to attract men.

2. "Think like the wise, but talk like ordinary people."

She might pass for a lady, but only if she keeps her vocab in check.

From 1866's The Polite Ladies' Guide to Proper Etiquette by Arthur Martine​ (pages 30 and 32).

3. "Eat your soup quietly. To make any noise in eating it, is simply disgusting."

4. "Depend upon it, silvery hair is better adapted..."

Depend upon it, silvery hair is better adapted to the faded cheeks of middle age, than are tresses of nut-brown or coal-black, or any of the mysterious shades produced by a dirty decoction called Hair-dye.

Women whose soon-to-be "silvery" hair shall not be dyed.

From 1876's The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness by Florence Hartley​ (pages 100 and 293).

5. "Ladies should never dine with their gloves on; unless their hands are not fit to be seen."

6. "A lady offers a chair to a gentleman, but asks a lady to sit on the sofa."

7. "Ladies should be particular not to cross their knees in sitting, nor to assume any indecorous attitude."

Crossed knees: one of the many vulgar habits that can happen to an unchaperoned lady.

8. "If a gentleman approaches you with words of flattery...

If a gentleman approaches you with words of flattery and profuse attentions, especially after a short acquaintance, extend no encouraging smile or word; for a flatterer can never be otherwise than an unprofitable companion.

A real lady, who never, ever listens when a man says she's pretty.

From 1856's The Lady's Guide to Perfect Gentility​ by Emily Thornwell (pages 93, 100, 146).

9. "Remember your most important job..."

Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain [your husband's] ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman’s business.

A woman's R(esting)B(itch)F(ace) will have to go, lest her husband fire her.

From 1943's Sex Today in Wedded Life by Edward Podolsky.

10. "Girls need to stop sitting, walking, and standing like the boys..."

Girls need to stop sitting, walking, and standing like the boys and do it differently, in a way that represents their femininity. Be different from the boys so that there is no confusion. 

11. "Prettiness is about being like a delicate flower..."

Prettiness is about being like a delicate flower because flowers are pretty. ...  Be like the flower when you are being you during your day; feel pretty when you sit, feel pretty when you walk, and feel pretty when you stand.

A proper lady who feels like, and thus is, female flower incarnate.

From 2007's The Young Lady's Guide to Charm, Style & Femininity by Keisha Clark (pages 20 and 22).

12. "It is indispensable to own a complete set of accessories..."

It is indispensable to own a complete set of accessories in black and, if possible, another in brown, plus a pair of beige shoes and a beige straw handbag for the summer.

Absolutely "indispensable." 

From 2004's A Guide to Elegance by Genevieve Antoine Dariaux.

13. "No young girl may live alone..."

No young girl may live alone. Even though she has a father, unless he devotes his entire time to her, she must also have a resident chaperon who protects her reputation until she is married or old enough to protect it herself—which is not until she has reached a fairly advanced age, of perhaps thirty years or over if she is alone, or twenty-six or so if she lives in her father’s house and behaves with such irreproachable circumspection that Mrs. Grundy is given no chance to set tongues wagging.

From 1922's Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home by Emily Post.

14. "Washing your hands in milk and water, for two or three days, will make them white."

15. "A still mouth will show a wise head."

Even in the wind, this woman's mouth stays still. She is a lady.

From 1877's Perfect Etiquette, Or, How to Behave in Society by James Kernan (pages 72 and 7).

16. "For an informal dinner a woman may wear a semi- evening dress of the sort suitable for afternoon while her partner wears the regular dinner jacket." 

17. "Whether she is hostess or guest..."

Whether she is hostess or guest the woman at a break fast or luncheon should wear an afternoon gown of silk, crepe-de-chime, velvet, cloth or novelty material. In the summer preference may be given organdies, georgettes, etc. 

A lady whose dress passes for a lady hostess's breakfast gown. If you're being generous.

From 1922's Book of Etiquette by Lillian Eichler Watson​ (pages 47 and 55).

Etiquette guides aren't only for women, of course. A plethora of texts for men have hit bookshelves over the years, including William Josephus Robinson's 1922 Married Life and Happiness. Here's one particular standout gem from that book, published less than 100-years-ago, that pertains to women.

Women are really beginning to find out that they are human beings, almost as good as we are, and we simply must reckon with that fact. (70)

Good to know.

These common words were all created by idiots who misheard them and screwed them up.

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Have you ever been really convinced you knew how to pronounce a word, and gone around saying it with full confidence in front of friends and strangers, only to find out you sounded like a total nincompoop? That's embarrassing, but what if the entire culture did it all at the same time? Surprisingly, that's how new words are born.

For example, the animal "newt" is supposed to be an "ewt," but people heard "an ewt" as "a newt," and we all just pretended it wasn't a mistake. From "cherry" to "pea" to "umpire" to "nickname" and more, early English speakers didn't seem to be paying very close attention to each other, the French people who conquered them, or the people they conquered abroad. The result are a bunch of words that sound totally normal, until you learn the truth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSdSuOpyPwA

Article 7

The 20 most popular terms for weed from all around this big stoned globe.

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In case you’re too stoned to remember, weed is the slang term for the drug cannabis. You might know that weed comes in different shapes and sizes (nickels, dimes), but did you also know it comes in different words, you toker-junkie? The focus of this article is to make sure you sound very, very cool this 4/20 (and beyond) by teaching you the coolest word for weed from every part of the globe. Here are the 20 most popular terms for mary jane, culled from some of the mostglorifiedpotheads on the web.

1. Argentina: Falopa

Need some weed to falopa sleep.

2. Brazil: Maconha

Now this is maconha weed.

3. China: Dàmá 

This weed smells so dàmá fine.

4. Colombia: Bareta

Dude, you bareta leave. You're ruining my high.

5. Finland: Marii

One hit of this and you'll have a marii-velous time.

6. France: Du Shit

This is du shit.

7. Germany: Kiffen

Kiffen me softly with this bong.

8. India: Bhang

That was some bhangin weed.

9. Israel: Yarok

Oh weed, yarok my world.

10. Italy: Erba

This is some erba-lievable stuff.

11. Jamaica: Ganja

You're ganja have a good time.

12. Japan: Happa

What is happa-ning right now?

13. Mexico: Mota

Bernie is very pro-mota-ble.

14. Netherlands: Ges

College definitely has its advanta-ges.

15. Philippines: Damo

I see ya Matt Damo-n

16. Russia: Travka

http://coub.com/view/cnbn

Apparently, it's very difficult to put "Travka" in some horrible pun so here's Vladimir Putin smoking a fat one, instead.

17. South Africa: Dagga

When you drop off the goods, do it cloak and dagga style.

18. Spain: Hierba

You're such a hierba-vore.

19. Sweden: Majja

Making majja proud, one blunt at a time.

20. United States of America: Dank

There's nothing more dank than Dank Sinatra.
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