If you've ever been skeptical of Snapchat, let the love story of Mystery Girl and Vikings Fan show you why the social network is great, and why your younger family members are obsessed with it. This entire saga takes place at the University of Wisconsin, where someone had blasted out a video from a sporting event featuring an attractive man in a Vikings jersey. We don't see that video, but we see what happened immediately afterwards: a pretty girl took it upon herself to find him. For whatever reason, an entire campus tuned in to their search for each other, and, frustrated when they keep missing each other, egged them on to make this missed connection real.
All you need to know about Snapchat to understand this story is 1) Besides your friends, Snapchat lets you share videos witheveryone in a specific location—in this case, the University of Wisconsin. 2) People in the same location can respond to those videos, building a "story." OK, with that out of the way, let the romance begin. Take it away, Mystery Girl:
Meet Wiener, the easily-frightened man who has the unfortunate fate of being redditor WingsOfAGod's roommate, and became a campus—and now Internet—star in the process. It's unclear how long this video took to make, but it seems to span several dorm rooms and types of weather in the background. It got enough views on campus Snapchat that towards the end you can see one of WingsOfAGod's fans take over the camera at the end to guest-scare Wiener.
The most common comments on the video, instead of making fun of Wiener, were requests for more scares taking place right after he got out of the shower or returned from the gym. Basically, considering he got tormented for a year for this, this whole thing might turn out to be a plus for Wiener.
Barbecue season is coming up, and that means dropping-sodas-on-the-ground season is about 5 minutes behind—so how can you enjoy your carbonated sugar drink (or if you're over 21, a carbonated fermented-sugar drink) without getting all sprayed and sticky? Well, that's easy: you tap the side of the can instead of the top. Don't believe it? Watch this local news segment to see it in action (skip to about 2:00 if you just want proof and not the explanation):
On Saturday, Kim Kardashian made some posts to Snapchat in which she wore a choker necklace given to her mother by the late Nicole Brown Simpson. Kim's father, Robert Kardashian Sr., was a member of O.J.'s dream team of lawyers, and her mother, Kris Jenner, was friends with Nicole Brown Simpson.
And just as the O.J. trial was a fixture of early 90s media, the choker necklace was a fixture in early 90s fashion. According to Kim, Nicole was ahead of the trend and gave the choker to Kris Jenner in 1988.
If someone wants to best Kim Kardashian with an early 90s O.J. reference, they're going to need a few snaps driving the infamous 1993 white Ford Bronco.
Cicadas conceived in 1999 are set to emerge from underground to ruin your summer, and John Oliver took it upon himself to catch them up on what they missed.
Naturally, the insects—already confused that their greeting comes via YouTube—will be shocked to learn that the curly haired guy from NSYNC is now taken seriously and that Cosby Show reruns are a lot less frequent on TV.
Oliver has yet to warn the cicadas about Donald Trump, because he's hoping to keep some underground real estate available for humans.
And the biggest development of the past 17 years? "Amazingly, we've all stopped paying for music and porn, and I think we've gotten away with it."
A young man by the name of Brandon broke his arm, which sucks for Brandon. But luckily for everyone else, Brandon got high AF on anesthesia. Upon coming down from the drugs, Brandon enthusiastically recounted the time he went to Dubai and bought a camel, as documented by YouTuber Amanda Lally.
"Dubai was lit." Sure sounds like it was, with all those strippers and that camel.
Anyone else think that young Brandon is actually Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science?
Or, if you ask Reddit, the drugs turned Brandon into a more-unintelligible Chris Tucker.
Like Chris Tucker, Brandon struggles to be understood.
Other videos confirm that Brandon does not actually talk like that. In the first of four (yes, four videos! Score!), a woman who is presumably Brandon's mom is wondering what the hell is going on and who is Rocco.
Brandon had so much to say about Dubai.
"I got laughing gas in my brain." Hmm, you don't say?
After a period of time, Brandon finally stopped talking. Well, for the most part.
According to Amanda Lally, Brandon broke his arm sliding into home base. He was safe and he made these videos, so it was a winning day for Brandon, except for the whole breaking his arm part.
"Home" rivals season four's "purple wedding" as the most bonkers second episode in a season of Game of Thrones. It [Stefon voice] had it all: Christlike resurrections, patricide, completely impractical bridges, a zombie crushing someone else's head like it was a watermelon at BuzzFeed, Hodor, Hodor, and Hodor. Let's dive in. Warning: spoilers ahead.
At least Jaime isn't raping someone at one of his kid's funerals for once.
The biggest moment: Jon Snow lives.
Be honest, you don't remember our names.
As Someecards has confidently foretold over and over again, Jon Snow was brought back to life by Melisandre last night in probably the easiest bit of magic she's ever done? Compare: to kill Renly Baratheon, Melisandre had to have sex with Stannis, become physically pregnant, and give birth to a demon shadow child. To make the weather nice for a little bit, she had to burn a small girl at the stake. To bring Jon Snow back to life, she basically just had to give him a haircut.
Of course, it's unclear what Jon Snow will be like now. When Melisandre said that she had seen a man that had been resurrected by a red priest before, she was referring to Beric Dondarrion, a man who you last saw way back in season 3 (he kidnapped Arya and Gendry, remember?). Each time Dondarrion was resurrected, he told Arya that he lost part of himself, including his memories. Will this be the same Jon Snow?
Do you think Ramsay Bolton is evil?
Honestly scarier than the Night's King.
I'm starting to think he's evil! Ramsay killing his father Roose, Fat Walda, and his new infant brother was horrifying, and unlike the bastard uprising in Dorne, this made perfect sense—Ramsay is acting on impulse, and will likely pay the price for it if he actually intends to face off against Castle Black, which, unbeknownst to him, has a huge army of wildlings and a f*cking giant. Also, I can't believe I would ever have sympathy for a Frey, but the long build-up to Fat Walda's death was chilling, and well-acted by Elizabeth Webster.
Hodor!
Bet this actor's excited to walk around again.
It was nice to see Bran and Meera and Hodor and the Three-Eyed Raven again. Bran's vision of his father's youth was a nice setting up of the narrative possibilities of his gift, and it made me hope that Sean Bean would be returning for a cameo this season.
More importantly, the show focuses yet again on Ned Stark's sister Lyanna, whose eventual kidnapping by Daenerys's older brother Rhaegar (i.e. not the douchebag who got the golden crown) started Robert's Rebellion, which threw the reigning Targaryan family into exile. In fact, the only dead person who has been talked up as much as Lyanna on this show is probably Rhaegar himself. Oh, do you want to know popular Internet theories about why this is? Click this link for popular Internet theories about why that is!
Nice little moment:
Ever get so drunk you decided you wanna free some dragons?
Brienne telling Sansa about the time she saw Arya while she was fighting the Hound. I think more than anything else in this show, I want those two to reunite.
Runner-up: Tyrion touching those dragons. They were very well-behaved around him, which seems important.
Next week:
"Why the f*ck did we make our bridges like that, Uncle?"
Episode 3 is called "Oathbreaker." Which, for what it's worth, happens to be the nickname a different resurrected person gives to Brienne's sword in the books.
On Saturday, model/new mom Chrissy Teigen attended a surprise party for Jessica Alba's 35th birthday. Afterwards, she posted a Snapchat showing that the bodice of her black lace dress had been torn by the bigger size of her breasts, which are now responsible for nourishing a small human being.
That poor dress did nothing to deserve the wrath of the new mom boobs.
The text on her Snapchat reads, "My expanding bust incredible hulk'ed this dress in one night."
Other than the wardrobe mishap, the night seemed to go well. Teigen regrammed a few Instagram photos from her husband John Legend's account, including one of them together where he's wearing her jacket (well, he's wearing somebody's white faux fur jacket, and it appears to be meant for a woman. Not that he doesn't wear it well).
This just goes to the show the awesome power of new mom boobs. They are huge, they are occasionally rock hard, and they need to pumped every few hours or else they'll take out everything around them in a display of overwhelming strength. They're just lucky no one got hurt.
A guy recently attempted to take a photo of the famous comedienne Amy Schumer, which irked Miss Schumer so much she decided she was completely over taking pictures with fans from that point on. Schumer explained the incident on Instagram, where all important cultural messages are now conveyed.
Schumer will surely inspire philosophical conversations on the definition of "niceness," as confused fans wonder about their chances of getting a photo with her.
The not-nice fan, whose name is Leslie Brewer, has since posted a video of his encounter with Schumer that, to be honest, makes him look somewhat decent.
"I did it in a non-threatening way," Brewer told Fox Carolina. "She says I got all up in her face, and it was completely different from the video."
Brewer's video doesn't show a camera in Schumer's face, that's for sure. However, the video is clearly edited so people can't see how the drama began. Plus, Schumer is wearing sunglasses, a hat, and earbuds, multiple signs that she did not want to be disturbed.
"You're a celebrity," Brewer said. "I understand you want to blast me but that's petty, that's beneath you."
The Internet can be a wonderful educational tool for children, but parents know that the online world is also an endless cesspool of very dark, NSFW things. Kids love watching adorable puppy videos, ridiculous Internet challenges, time-wasting optical illusions—but as much as you may want to deny it, they watch porn too.
Sorry hun! That website is for mommies and daddies, not you.
Kids have a burgeoning curiosity for the weird, the gross, and the inexplicable. The proof can be found in their Internet history. On these variousReddit threads, parents and people who know parents shared the strangest things they found on a kid's Internet history. Brace yourselves.
1. OMFGORLY describes a kid who had one too many schadenfreude moments.
Not me, but my boss told me a story of his 8 year old son's YouTube history.
Apparently he would take the Ipad and just watch videos of Asian children crying for hours on end.
2. Fortunately, Wisdom_Of_A_Man's kid doesn't know how to spell.
My ten year old googled, 'sexy fagina.' His spelling is atrocious.
3. _Goose_'s daughter is living in a fairy tale world.
My daughter was googling to see if you could marry cartoon characters. She has been obsessed with Flynn from Tangled ever since the first time she watched it.
Disney's most wanted bandit.
4. Uikutoru describes a kid who forgot his entire family was friends with him on Facebook.
I had a gf whos little brother around 11 found out about pages like "big boobs sex". "Naked girls butts". On Facebook. Liked about 200 of these kind of pages in just an hour. His Facebook account was filled with relatives and friends from school.
I could feel his shame when his mom found out and started screaming as it sunk into him that everyone had seen what he had done the past hour...
5. Tenclubber's son did what any 16-year-old would do, right?
My son is 16 now so this was about 4 years ago. I had got a new tablet and he had gotten in the habit of taking it into his room to play games on.
I got curious one day and looked at the search history. "Pokemon cheat code", "halo map", "big boobies", "dick suck", "minecraft"...
It was such an odd mix I had to laugh. I bookmarked some sites that he could look at that weren't hardcore porn...SI Swimsuit site, etc. I let him know he could look at these and it was ok. The last few years he's had his own laptop and I really don't even bother anymore. Trying to control a teenage boy's masturbatory habits is the definition of fighting a losing battle.
6. Lexingtonlulz's seven-year-old is more Nightmare On Elm Street than Sesame Street.
My 7-year-old's browser history contained searches for serial killers. Am I worried? No, because I was around that age when I began to show interest in them as well.
Yikes.
7.CrimsonRainCR's daughter has a very strong sense of patriotism.
My kid looked up Ruth Ginsburg naked, Clinton naked, Hillary Clinton naked, followed by Spongebob, Lyrics Life On Mars, ending with Condoleezza Rice naked.
Needless to say, there was no more Internet for her. Still trying to figure out why she wanted to see those people of all people naked, but we can't talk about that, too weird.
8. After reading Abacon4's story, you'll never see Ninja Turtles the same way again.
Step daughter was into ninja turtles for a while. She would read fan fiction and role play with some random people. She would pretend to be pregnant with turtle babies (triplets) and another time she was one of the ninja turtles having gay sex with another turtle. A direct quote was "I rub my dick on your dick and moan lightly"
There are somethings you do not need to find.
9. RamsesThePigeon describes a tech-savvy kid who will definitely go places.
While I am not a parent, I once helped a family set up their home computer network... and in the course of doing so, I ran into a patently bizarre sort of family feud.
At the time of this story, I was casually acquainted with a young woman who had, via a process of not-so-subtle suggestion and outright pleading, convinced her aunt - Ellen, we'll call her - to finally get her children (ages ten and twelve) their own personal computers. Why this was such a powerful obsession for my friend is still unknown to me, but I agreed with the sentiment. After all, these kids had been limited to using the "family computer" for the majority of their lives, which had made school projects and socialization alike into somewhat difficult tasks.
After having finally been convinced, Aunt Ellen bought each of her children a desktop computer. Then, to further cement her household's position in the Information Age, she switched from the bottom-rung DSL connection they'd been using and upgraded to a respectably fast cable service. (The inclusion of television channels and a home phone line may have helped her with that decision.) However, she discovered with some dismay that setting up her network was a bit of a daunting challenge. That's where I came in.
At first, this seemed like it would be a simple endeavor: I'd just set up a router, install a couple of wireless NICs, and be done with it. However, Aunt Ellen had a few special requests.
"The most important thing," she told me, "is an Internet password."
I nodded my understanding, though I wasn't completely sure what she wanted. "Do you mean a WiFi password?" I asked. "Something to protect your wireless network?"
"Oh, yes, certainly that," replied Aunt Ellen, "but I also want to keep my kids off the Internet if it's past dinnertime. That's when all the creeps come out."
Well, that was fine. I had some private thoughts on the matter, but I wasn't there to offer parenting advice or play Internet Educator. I set up the network, put the necessary conditions in place on the router, and moved on.
"Okay, great!" Aunt Ellen said, visibly pleased. "Next, put passwords on each of the new computers." She didn't immediately offer an explanation for this, but my assumption was that it was to keep her son (the ten-year-old) from snooping on his sister's machine (and vice versa).
"Do you want to have your kids set up their own passwords?" I asked.
Aunt Ellen's answer was accompanied by a look of shock. "Oh, no, no! No, only my husband and I will know them. I don't want my kids on the computer without permission!" Again, this seemed counterproductive to me, but I held my tongue and did her bidding. With everything complete, my final task was to reconnect the "family computer" to the network, and go on my merry way.
I didn't know it at the time, but my job was only halfway finished.
The following day, I received a phone call from my friend. Her Aunt Ellen, it seemed, was having some unspecified difficulties with the new network setup, and she wanted to know if I could stop by to help with them. I was wary of becoming the family's personal IT technician, but the fear that I'd done something wrong brought me back to their house. Upon arrival, Aunt Ellen explained to me that her husband had been unable to check his email the night before.
"I know you did your best," she said, "but do you think maybe something went wrong?"
"Well, I can certainly find out," I replied. "Do you know if he used the right password? Remember, if it's after seven, you need to enter it first."
Aunt Ellen smiled and nodded. "Oh, yes, definitely! I even tried it myself."
I was skeptical, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and pulled up the router's configuration page. Everything seemed to be in order... except for an extra entry that I'd never seen before. It specifically locked a handful of URLs - each of them clearly pornographic in nature - and had the curious label of "NoFacebook=NoPorn."
"I need to check something," I told Aunt Ellen. "Do you mind if I look at..." I thought for a brief moment before continuing. "May I look at your daughter's computer?"
We went up to the girl's room, and had a look at the computer in question (after Aunt Ellen made me avert my gaze while she entered the necessary password). Lo and behold, somebody had created a second administrator account, and their browser history showed that it had been used the night before to access the router. Suddenly, it dawned on me: I'd never changed the router's default password, and Aunt Ellen's sweet, innocent, twelve-year-old daughter had taken it upon herself to passive-aggressively block her father's access to his pornography.
It was, to say the least, an awkward predicament.
Fortunately, I managed to resolve the situation while leaving everyone's pride intact, although it took a lot more finesse than I had expected the task to require. In the end, the father's browsing capabilities were restored, the router's password was changed, and nobody (save perhaps the twelve-year-old) was any wiser... and even though I undid her work, I left the bent paperclip that I saw beside the girl's keyboard.
TL;DR: A precocious preteen passive-aggressively prohibited paternal pornography.
Way to go, kid.
10. After you do a search on AmishNeckbeard's weird fetish, delete it. Immediately.
My dad caught me looking up "dongcopter pirate."
11. You don't want Hschupalohs' friend as your older sibling.
Not a parent. However, I was around a lot when my friends would torture their younger siblings. One time, I was at a friend's house, and he wanted to fuck with his little brother. While his little brother was out, we got ahold of his laptop to check out his internet history. Apparently, his brother had a thing for "chicks with dicks." We found one particular image of a lady-boy with a huge boner, wearing an M. Bison hat.
Naturally, we saved it as his background image, took a screenshot, deleted all of his desktop icons, hid the menu bar, and changed his admin password.
Fun times.
12. Let Ultravibe remind you of the many times you ended up on the strange side of the Internet.
My friend's kid searched on cows pooping, and apparently watched many YouTube videos of cows pooping.
Pure and udder chaos.
13. It's probably just a failed auto correct, Northerndreamer? Still, it's weird.
Flared ass-hole fights tyrannosaurs rex. Four years old + ESL (her mother is Scottish) + learning how to use a computer.
14. If you spot Iron_Rogue in an aquarium, he or she will definitely be in the Octopus section.
I'm the child. I was usually pretty good about clearing browser history, but the one time I fucked up and forgot was the one time my dad needed to check the history for a site he visited the previous day. I got a stern lecture about clearing browser history after that.
I was 12. The search was "12 year old tentacle porn". I'm probably on a list.
15. DamFogelbert's kid doesn't like this retired NFL player. Or does he?
This was a sentence in the Google search bar: "Deer eating pizza while getting a blow job from Brett Favre"... pretty creative if you ask me.
Oh deer.
16. private_throwaway_ says his daughter is really into some "gruesome stuff."
Throwaway because I haven't told my wife yet, and I'm not sure how to begin that conversation just yet.
We have a PC in a room beside the kitchen which she uses and from time to time I check the history, to make sure nothing crazy is going on. So far nothing too weird of wild apart from this. Apparently for the last 2 weeks she has been visiting death and gore sites like mentalzero.com and documentingreality.com. If you're brave enough to look you can get an idea of what I'm talking about, it's really gruesome stuff.
I haven't noticed any changes in her behavior, usually she's pretty happy and does well in school. I'm pretty honest with her and we've had awkward conversations in the past which went well but I don't know how to approach this. I'm kind of worried this could be her developing into a psychopath perhaps. Generally she doesn't get a lot of exposure to violent media, probably the worst films she has watched would be stuff like twilight and batman but the vast majority of stuff she watches is pretty much age appropriate. The most violent video games I have seen her play are tower defense flash games or simple flash zombie survival games.
She is kind of an oddball sometimes I guess but I feel like this is something I should be worried about.
I don't know if anyone here has been through anything similar but it's kind of freaking me out. I was probably late teens at least before I saw my first picture of a dead body or extreme gore.
What do I tell her? I mean it's not wrong, but getting desensitized to that stuff while she's still a kid, it honestly freaks me out a little.
Stars' moms: They're just like us! They're on Tinder. Redditor SavageSylvester came across Jonah Hill's mom on the app, and is ready to be the Superbad star's Super Dad. "Sharon, 47" (47, eh?) was a mere 99 miles away. She wrote "my kids are my world" in her bio and shared a pic with two of them, one of whom is Jonah. SavageSylvester posted the screenshot with the title "Guess Ima be Jonah Hill's new dad," and it looks like he's joining a happy family.
Jonah Hill is 32 years old, so Sharon either had him when she was 15, or is lying about her age. It's most likely the latter, since no one in Los Angeles is ever honest about their age.
A search of "Jonah Hill mom" confirms the name Sharon, and Wikipedia corroborates the existence of the sisters.
Of course it is possible that the account is fake, because people are creepy, and who wouldn't pretend to be Jonah Hill's mom?
But if it is indeed love at first swipe, mazel tov Sharon and SavageSylvester! Here's hoping family friend Leo DiCaprio is available to dance at the wedding.
If you tuned into last night's Game of Thronesepisode "Home," you're probably very aware of why Kit Harington is apologizing for all the lies he's told since last season's finale shocker. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Harington delivers his official "sorry!" and hopes fans don't pull an Alliser Thorne on him (fans of the show will understand that expertly employed reference. Warning: major spoilers lie ahead.
Here's a transcript of Harington's full statement.
Sorry. I’d like to say sorry for lying to everyone. I’m glad that people were upset that he died. I think my biggest fear was that people were gonna be…not gonna care, or just be “fine, Jon Snow’s dead.” But it seems like people did have a, similar to Red Wedding episode, a kind of grief about it, which meant that something I’m doing, or that the show’s doing for Jon is right.
During the past year, Harington has insisted that Jon Snow was definitively dead. But, thanks to Melisandre's proficiency in witchcraft stuff, he is risen, and will probably freak everyone out at The Wall next week.
He may have apologized too soon, given that the reaction's been largely positive to the Bastard Stark's return to not-being-dead.
To be fair, you can't totally blame Harington for leading everyone on this whole time. Had he undercut last season's finale with spoilers for this season, HBO probably would've killed him for real.
5. Larry Wilmore, because he made a lot of enemies this weekend.
Saturday night was Barack Obama's last White House Correspondents Dinner as president, but chances are he'll be back to host it soon enough. After all, he killed for the eighth straight year, slaying Republicans and the media with brutal jabs that had the whole room roaring. He delivered his material with the confidence and timing of a seasoned road comic (except he was at his house, instead of a roadhouse in Omaha). Overall, it was a tough act to follow. Larry Wilmore would agree.
President Obama and Larry Wilmore summing up the night.
Wilmore, the host of The Nightly Show, was this year's comedian chosen to follow Obama, and his reception from the crowd was less warm, to put it lightly. To put it bluntly, they hated his guts. His harsh jokes about the media, although fearless and accurate, were met with silence and boos from their targets in the crowd. (Don Lemon even gave him the finger—a mark of pride.) Perhaps Wilmore would have been more embraced if he hadn't appeared nervous, or if his own show wasn't struggling, but one thing's clear. He's not getting any love from CNN any time soon.
Some commentators pointed out that Wilmore's Comedy Central predecessor, Stephen Colbert, faced a similar reaction when he roasted George W. Bush during the Correspondents Dinner in 2006, and it didn't hurt his career. But that was George Bush. And also, unlike Wilmore, Colbert didn't call the president the n-word.
4. Blac Chyna, because she has to go on the offensive to prevent her sex tape from being released.
Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian, whose sex tape would be worth billions.
Model/entrepreneur/Rob Kardashian fiancée Blac Chyna is no stranger to controversy, so she doesn't need any more bad press. But now, her past is coming back to haunt her. No surprise, Tyga is involved.
Tyga, a rapper who shares Blac Chyna's love of the letter Y, also shares a child with her. The two were together for years, long before Tyga started dating the then 17-year-old Kylie Jenner. At some point, Tyga and Chyna made a sex tape (duh), which has since fallen into the wrong hands. TMZ reports that some unnamed creep has distributed the tape to various media outlets and porn companies.
We're assuming the tape involves a lot of duckface.
Blac Chyna's lawyer is saying he will go hard after anyone who releases the tape, and that's not trouble anyone wants. She's a powerful enemy. So far, Tyga's lawyer hasn't said anything about it, but why would he?
3. Amy Schumer, because she's feuding with an aggressive fan.
You don't want to disappoint Amy Schumer.
Amy Schumer has rocketed into super-stardom in the past few years, so she's still getting used to the drawbacks of fame. Like the fact that everybody thinks they own her. For example: this guy, who literally told her he owns her.
This guy in front of his family just ran up next to me scared the shit out of me. Put a camera in my face. I asked him to stop and he said " no it's America and we paid for you" this was in front of his daughter. I was saying stop and no. Great message to your kid. Yes legally you are allowed to take a picture of me. But I was asking you to stop and saying no. I will not take picture with people anymore and it's because of this dude in Greenville.
The man in question, Leslie Brewer, defended himself to local news, and on his own Instagram:
What do you think? Is this guy a total douchebag, or has Amy Schumer become an entitled famezilla? Or both? Even if he was totally justified, there's something creepy about his smile, right? There's no way that wouldn't unnerve her.
2. Kit Harington, because he had to apologize for the lies HBO forced him to say.
Before you read anything else, you should be aware that there are BIG SPOILERS from last night's Game of Thrones in here. If you haven't watched it yet, skip ahead to the story about NJ Weedman. There are no spoilers in there, just fun.
You know nothing, Jon Snow. Not even whether you're alive.
On Sunday night's episode, Home, fans were slightly shocked by the resurrection of fan favorite character Jon Snow, who was stabbed to death a whole bunch of times in last year's season finale. Nobody had imagined that his character could come back, or so the show's creators hoped. In reality, everybody knew it was going to happen. He's Jon Snow, for the gods' sake.
Jon Snow, last seen being dead af.
In the interests of keeping this open secret, the show's cast (especially Harrington) lied in every interview for months and insisted the character wouldn't return. So as soon as Home was over, Harrington took the opportunity to apologize to all the fans for lying in their faces over and over for months, even though his character is basically the only honest one in the show. Will this betrayal convince fans to abandon the show forever? No way—they're basically his slaves at this point.
1. A marijuana advocate called NJ Weedman who got busted for (wait for it) pot.
Before you read this article, be warned. There are major spoilers here about the fate of New Jersey marijuana advocate NJ Weedman. If you were hoping to learn the whole story from his memoir, don't read this.
Weedman, whose legal named is Ed Forchion, is an activist for marijuana legalization who owns a combined restaurant/church/tobacco shop called Weedman's Joint across the street from city hall in Trenton, the state capital of New Jersey. (Anyone who has been to Trenton will not be surprised by this.)
Weedman's Joint, featuring felony quantities of cannabis and a great price on a turkey burger.
On Thursday, in the least surprising move of all time, police raided the Joint, arresting Weedman and 10 others, and confiscating $19,000 worth of marijuana. Weedman was charged with possession and distribution, a charge he rejects. He told The Trentonian:
It may have been worth a few hundred dollars, but $19,000 worth of weed...are they crazy? … And distribution? What? They didn’t catch me selling weed to no one. Just about everyone here is a smoker. So yes, there’s weed here. But there’s no distribution going on. They exaggerated big time.
Unfortunately, that exaggeration could land Weedman some serious jail time. He has since been released and is defiantly vowing to fight the charges. (He made his statement to the media while rolling a joint in his restaurant.)
He claims that he and his customers use marijuana for religious purposes, and so his "cannabis church" should be legally protected. After all, he doesn't sell the weed, just the burgers. And he must clean up. Even reading this story is probably giving you the munchies.
Today in Chris Hemsworth news: he's still a total dreamboat. Last week, Hemsworth spent some time doing pull-ups and throwing shade at Captain America, whose new movie Captain America: Civil War he isn't in for some reason that Marvel will spend three movies explaining.
Chris Hemsworth has a bone to pick...
Robert Downey Jr Chris Evans Marvel Captain America #teamironman #teamcap #teamthor
Take a moment to acknowledge the one-armed pull-ups he executed, all while making words come out of his mouth. If bragging about his muscles isn't attractive to you, mull over these words instead.
A photo posted by Elsa Pataky (@elsapatakyconfidential) on
"Each week I find something different, more I love about her," Hemsworth recently told TV Week about his wife, Elsa Pataky. "It continues to grow," he said of his love for her, "which is a great thing."
The unexpected passing of true crime writer Michelle McNamara, 46, came as a complete shock to everyone. Thousands voiced their condolences and support for her husband, comedian Patton Oswalt, who in turn shared a few incredibly wise words from their seven-year-old daughter, Alice.
"When your mom dies you're the best memory of her. Everything you do is a memory of her." -- Alice Oswalt, 7
826LA is a non-profit dedicated to encouraging students to explore creative and expository writing, which has since set up a memorial fund for Michelle McNamara "to push forward her creative legacy." You can go here to donate.
50 Cent really, really wanted to ruin this airport janitor's day for some reason—and no one seems to know why. In what seems to be a totally unprovoked schoolyard bully move, the rapper followed the janitor around the airport while filming him and accusing him of being high. The video was originally uploaded to 50 Cent's Instagram with the caption, “The walking Dead, SMH LMAO I mean How high are trying to get Damn!!!” He has since deleted the video.
Maybe 50 Cent is just trying to make a new PSA about the danger of drugs? Oh, but he has lyrics like, "I'm not that genie in a bottle, I'm in a bag. Take one hit and slide off to the Land of H man." So that somehow seems doubtful.
In the video, 50 can be heard saying, "He high as a motherfucker right here in the airport. Pupils dilated everything, looking like a—the new generation is fucking crazy!"
Wait. The new generation is crazy? Aren't you the hard rapper from the streets who has seen it all and was allegedly shot nine times? That sounds a lot crazier than some dude who may or may not have showed up to work high.
According to KHOU News, at least one person stepped forward on Instagram and said that they knew the janitor, and that he suffers from social disabilities. An Instagram user (who has deleted their account since writing the comment) said:
I went to school with him. His name is ..... He has extreme social disabilities just to let you know. He has a hard enough time getting through life without jackasses like you making fun of him. I hope you feel good about yourself. You just lost a huge fan. 50 needs to apologize.
When the video was posted on Reddit under a thread titled "50 cent is an asshole," people were pretty unimpressed with the rapper.
And if the poor kid said a word back, he'd probably lose his job for upsetting such a fine, upstanding customer.
Seriously, what an absolute asshole. 50 outright squanders and pisses away more than this guy will see in his entire lifetime of working, and has the balls to try and talk about "this new generation"?
Argoshua tried to see the situation from the employee's perspective:
Minimum wage job, shitty conditions, possibly shitty employer and immediate boss. Comes to work exhausted and possibly sick, gets harrassed by some rich hypocritical cock who doesnt pay his own taxes yet if he did the same.... and all he probably wants to do is go home and sleep it off.
Justin Bieber's Instagram has been chock full of action lately, with the 22-year-old singer debuting his new haircut over the weekend (finally got rid of those dreadlocks and decided to just go with "boring"), petting a tiger at his dad Jeremy's engagement party, and showing love some for Taye Diggs (why? No idea).
On Saturday, Bieber posted the first of a series of pictures of his new haircut. It's a blurry picture showing him with a buzzcut (Why is it blurry? No idea).
Then a black and white picture of himself standing outside a plane (yawn), then the blurry pic again, this time with a parental advisory sticker, and then a quick video of his little brother Jaxon saying that Justin copied him (his hair, it looks like), but that he looks better than Justin. He's not incorrect.
Justin posted a picture of himself petting a tiger on a leash. You know, one of those sad animals that probably has to spend its life sedated and in a cage. Which is just the kind of thing you'd want at your engagement party, if you were Justin's dad Jeremy.
Then a throwback picture of his hair (already?), a flyer for the Purpose Tour pop-up shop, a photo of a diamond-studded Cartier necklace with a panther head, which he captioned "Really cool piece #cartier#blessed#workhard#playhard."
A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on
On Sunday, Bieber posted a photo of Bill Nye (the Science guy), captioned:
If I meet bill nye the science guy my life will be complete .. What if I pulled up with Bill nye everywhere I went.. Meeting people like, "hey this is my homie bill" . Shoutout bill for helping us all get out of science class to watch a movie
Sorry, Selena, sounds like Bill Nye is all Justin really needs in his life.
Annnnd a photo of Taye Diggs, captioned, "Taye Diggs when you smile I smile" because, honestly, who doesn't love Taye Diggs?
A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on
What it all comes down to is that Justin Bieber has a very exciting life full of hair and planes and big cats and Bill Nye and no one can truly understand why. Bieber moves in mysterious ways. That's all you need to know.
