Jay-Z—rapper, entrepreneur, adulterer—is supporting his wife Beyoncé on her Formation world tour, and was spotted doing an adorable, dorky dad dance with their daughter Blue Ivy. Swinging to "The End of Time," the father-daughter dance is so cute that for a second you'll forget about Becky and her good hair.
Jay Z and Blue Ivy dancing while Beyoncé performs her hit 'End of Time' at the Formation Tour 😭pic.twitter.com/VW1ENWeaf4
— Shady Music Facts (@musicnews_shade) May 1, 2016
Blue Ivy has been an adorable backstage staple since her birth, traveling with her parents since they went on the On the Run tour.
The end of "Lemonade" showed that the Carters are still together and still the cutest, contributing to the theory that the Becky outrage was fully staged.
PETA, as most people know, doesn't like it when people aren't nice to animals. It turns out that the owner of Bowmanville Zoo in Canada, where the animals came from, was charged with multiple acts of animals cruelty earlier this year, CBC reported. As such, PETA let Bieber know that they think his party guests shouldn't have been invited.
"We’re calling on Justin and his family never to use animals as selfie props or party entertainment again," a PETA blog post reads. That simple statement comes after some casual digs, like a reference to the animals as "an attempt to amuse party guests" and that "Justin and other guests are lucky that they weren’t attacked by the wild animals."
Looks like PETA isn't going to be asking Bieber to pose for another campaign again anytime soon.
When you think Mark Zuckerberg, you probably think of all the money he has that you don't. But guess what? He also has a really cute dog that you don't!
In his latest attempt to be a human, the Zuck shares pictures of his non-human. Per his personal website (Facebook), "For your Friday enjoyment, here are some photos of Beast blending in around the house."
Can you find Beast amongst Zuckerberg's household items?
1. In the rug:
2. Within the mud room:
3. On the rug again:
As some of you may know, Beast is a "Public Figure" on Facebook who describes himself in the first person: "I am a Puli, which is a type of Hungarian Sheepdog. I live in Palo Alto with Mark and Cilla. I like cuddling and herding things."
He also likes avoiding commas, apparently.
Ok, last one.
4. On the wall:
Just kidding, that's just some hipster's apartment.
Get ready to get motivated as f*ck, because The Rock has a new alarm clock app, called The Rock Clock, and it's hardcore. Because of course it is. In Furious 7 he gets out of an arm cast just by flexing, and he probably required zero special effects to do that. He's Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and if he can't inspire you to get out of bed, no one can.
The app is completely free and doesn't seem to have any paid features. It's just the Rock offering this out of the goodness of his goddamn beautiful heart. It includes a goal-tracking feature, alarms by the Rock (many of them feature him yelling at you or singing to you), and absolutely no snooze button. You can even set the alarm to synch with the Rock's alarm, which is always set monstrously early. So probably don't do that unless you are an actual superhuman like Dwayne Johnson.
When you do wake up, The Rock will send you an inspirational video message about achieving your goals. It is beautiful. You are a beautiful man, Rock. You are so f*cking beautiful. Dammit Rock. Dammit. Beautiful.
If you're lucky, you get a parent or some other trusted adult to tell you about the birds and the bees. Or you get a sex ed class. But both are super embarrassing and awkward and raise even more questions, which is why most of us, like these redditors, wind up with wildly incorrect notions about how people get their swerve on.
1. Actually manslay3r, as any doctor will tell you, you've got it reversed.
Girls had penises and poop out of them, and pee out of their butts
2. GhostlyGirl's husband is a guy with traditional, old-fashioned values and assumed that pornographers shared his convictions.
When my husband first discovered porn he sat there trying to figure out how they were making it look like penetration. He figured obviously they must not really be having sex, since they aren't married and it's wrong to do in public. I think he went a solid year thinking it was a camera trick or special effect.
3. And strkst still can't watch Frosty the Snowman without getting a little turned on.
I was an only child and had never seen a dick before. Well, all the boys would complain about getting hit in the "balls." So I thought that a penis was shaped like a snowman with 3 balls one smaller after the other. I was surprised and grossed out when I saw what they really looked like.
4. User cyrusm thought that humans and dogs could breed, but only after they got married. Anything else would be barbaric.
For some reason I thought that if I married my dog, I could make a human-dog hybrid.
5. Due to this early sexual presumption, Nystagmus7 still won't touch coleslaw.
When I was really young, maybe 4 or 5, my cousin told me that when a man gets old his penis shrivels up and turns to into cabbage. I believed that for a few years, probably a lot longer then I should have.
6. This deleted user's story sounds like the beginning of the dirtiest Seinfeld routine of all time. "Why do they call it that if you don't even blow on it? I mean what is the deal?"
I use to think a blow job entailed just blowing air onto a man's penis. I still frequently give these to my husband.
The vagina was on the front and the penis stuck straight out. People locked together like lego blocks. Still not convinced I'm totally wrong.
8. This story from a since deleted account may demonstrate a certain ignorance, but it also shows quite a lot of pragmatism.
Around age five or so, I was starting to become more aware of my body. I could not for the life of me figure out what my vagina was for. It just seemed so...random. Around that time, I watched this kids documentary on Australia. This was my introduction to marsupials. "Of course! It's a pocket!" I thought. I went about two weeks carrying small trinkets around in my cooch before my mom caught on and had to explain a few things.
9. According to tsim12345, babies are made when a mommy and a daddy get very loving, look into each other's eyes, and say "ACTIVATE CONCEPTION SEQUENCE."
You could not change positions during sex because once the penis was inside the vagina, the sex was activated. So you had to pick a position and stick to it.
10. This story from joffreysballs is wildly inaccurate but it least it give a satisfying explanation for why men have nipples.
I thought that when people had sex the girl's nipples went into the man's.
11. The mother of spookychan did what she had to do to keep all of those sweet, sweet pomegranates for herself.
My boyfriends mom told him pomegranates have a high estrogen content so if he ate them he would grow boobs and his penis would shrivel up and crack off.
12. Well lebobathan, if it was a just, fair, and awesome universe, maybe.
Women gave birth to human babies and men gave birth to goats.
13. Talking about sex can be very hot, mvals. Okay, not that hot.
I thought masturbation would get me pregnant. Every fap was a risk.
15. User letmebeyoursalad was woefully mistaken about the purpose of the testicles, but as a result, you can be certain he carries around a spare tire in his car trunk.
I am uncircumcised. I was convinced that if I ever pulled my foreskin back far enough to expose the head of my penis, I would be risking having it fall off. The only thing that I had to keep from going completely insane worrying about this was the notion that my testicles were actually replacement heads in case I ever lost the first one.
I was convinced that my penis would roll up into a vagina when I reached a certain age when I was around 5 or 6. And lo and behold, my year older sister was there to confirm it for me. "Yeah, I used to have that, but then it turned into this when I turned 8." Why, thank you sister, I can't wait until my penis rolls into a vagina! To speed up the process, I'd tuck my penis between my legs and "practice" having a vagina.
17. To user dq8705, sex was apparently like that Werner Herzog movie where he made those people carry a boat over a mountain. Just a tremendous ordeal of grunt work to realize an objective.
That the objective of sex was to get the penis completely inside of the vagina. I assumed that "push" meant to slowly work the penis, one thrust at a time, to get deeper inside the vagina. And that once the penis was completely inside, sex was complete.
18. They don't sell penis tip replacements in stores, bitchihaveavagina, but you can find them online if you know where to look.
I thought that guys had to replace the tip of their penis every now and then. Seriously, i really believed stores sold "penis tip replacements."
The Prince tributes will never end. You could buy a ticket to see Stevie Wonder, have a bad storm cause the show to be canceled, and he'll still come out to cover 'Purple Rain' through a megaphone, which you can watch him do at the New Orleans 2016 Jazz Fest thanks to YouTuber Jarrett Goldfedder.
A true class act. On top of humming someone else's song into a megaphone and promptly leaving, he also vowed to give these dedicated fans another show in the fall if the festival's promoters work out the details, which will hopefully look something like this.
Recently,bigots found a new thing to be mad about after clothing store Old Navy posted the following ad featuring an interracial family on their Twitter page. Despite it being 2016, it turns out that some people still can't handle the thought of a mixed race couple. If you are one of the few people who still have faith in humanity, it will probably be all gone after reading this story.
To most, the only thing wrong with this ad is that the people in it are freakishly beautiful and that that's unfair to the rest of us. Those who spoke out against the ad cited reasons of miscegenation (the marriage of two different racial types) and "white genocide," which isn't really a thing.
Time to play everyone's favorite game—count the racists on the Internet.
@OldNavy Absolutely disgusting. What's next? Gender neutral bathrooms? Pedophilia acceptance propaganda?! Never shopping here again.
If there's any good to come from this, it'd be that all these people boycotting Old Navy and Target and wherever else would soon be boycotting so many places that they never leave their homes ever again.
Unfortunately, that won't solve the issue that they all have internet. Luckily, for every person who spoke out against the ad...
There were many more who spoke out in favor of it.
@OldNavy on some real shit though im on my way to buy a bunch of your clothes just because racist white people are mad 😂😂😂
— dirk givenoshitski (@brooklyngohard) May 1, 2016
Old Navy spokesperson Debbie Felix, who probably can't even believe that she has to address this, said in a statement to Fortune that they are proud of their message of “diversity and inclusion," and went on to say, "We are a brand with a proud history of championing diversity and inclusion. At Old Navy, everyone is welcome."
Grace Mahary, the female model in the ad, even commented on the controversy surrounding the photo on her personal Instagram page.
In light of the controversy revolving around my pretend family... I am proud to be representing interracial love, multiculturalism, and most importantly, a mentality that supports opportunity for all ethnicities. Thanks @oldnavy#lovewins#hatefreezone
Seriously, if you're going to be mad at Old Navy for anything, let it be because of their clothes, not their cute advertising.
If you're not 15 and obsessed with YouTube stars, you may not be familiar with the Holderness family, a family of four who is pretty popular on the video sharing website. In celebration of Mother's Day, Penn Holderness strapped on an empathy belly at the request of his wife, Kim. (Mother's Day, by the way, is May 8. Don't forget.) Penn complained about having the extra load strapped onto his stomach. A lot. Then he complained some more. And finally, a bit more.
Ugh, 12 minutes! Here are some highlights:
"I feel warm. I don't like feeling warm."
Well, don't get pregnant then, Penn.
Penn kept trying to come up with clever ways to circumvent the physical difficulty of being pregnant.
And his wife had to keep reminding him how stupid and dangerous his genius ideas were.
Penn realized that picking up kids while pregnant is hard.
Imagine taking care of kids while pregnant, Penn.
Once he was finally afforded a break in bed, Kim jokingly suggested they get frisky.
Penn was into it, despite the 40-pound load on his stomach. He is a man. Confirmed.
All in all, Penn had a shitty day.
He had to do things like put on shoes ("That was the worst part of my day") and walk ("We've walked 20 feet and I'm having trouble breathing").
"This really sucks," Penn said about pregnancy at the end of the video. "I get it now," he said with confidence.
Here's Penn getting a flavor for giving birth last year.
For reference, here's one of the "Before" pictures:
It's important to note, however, that one Topher Grace is not in the picture. Either he's taking the photo, or it's a reunion of the post-Topher final season cast. Or he just couldn't make it.
If you woke up this morning with an Internet connection, you already know what happened on Sunday's "Game of Thrones." So no matter how unnecessary it is to write "SPOILERS" right now, here it is: SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SPOILERS. Here are the 21 funniest reactions to Jon Snow's revival.
1.
My guess is Jon Snow comes back exactly the same except now cilantro tastes like soap.
Sloth-loving actress Kristen Bell chatted with People about beauty stuff as part of her work with Neutrogena‘s "Choose Skin Health" campaign. Aside from her love for bronzer, Bell, who is a mother of two and thus has experience with children, shared her tips for tricking kids into loving sunscreen.
A photo posted by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell) on
"I know with my girls, they’re likely to do anything I do, especially in the bathroom mirror," she said of her kids, ages three and one. "So one of the things this campaign is pushing is for moms to apply sunscreen to themselves in front of their children, so the kids realize that it’s something you should do and that they’ll want to do."
A photo posted by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell) on
The second, and perhaps more important, part of instilling children with a love of sunscreen is to make it seem bad.
I keep the sunscreen up on a high shelf so it seems like it’s forbidden. I pull the bottle out and I’ll start applying it to myself, and immediately they’re interested. They think they’re getting away with something. I make it a forbidden activity, and then I go, ‘Yes, you can spray it, you can spray mommy’s arms,’ and then they want to do it.
Picture for a moment the utter delight of two small children as they are allowed to delicately lavish the elfin actress in spray-on sunscreen.
Since she's so into sun protection, Bell is pale as lily. "Because I do stay out of the sun, I don’t tend to get what we could all acknowledge as that beautiful sun-kissed glow, so I just fake it." If you see a tan Kristen Bell, it's all a lie: she's wearing bronzer, not freshly roasted skin.
Does Kristen Bell love sunscreen as much she loves sloths?
The second episode of Game of Thrones' sixth season was full-blown bonkers (see our normal text recap here), and pretty much everything happened. BUT WHAT IF IT HAPPENED ON SNAPCHAT? That's the question asked and answered by Someecards' exclusive Snapchat recaps.
On last week's Snapchat recap, we learned Lady Melisandre's secret, and that a 30-something website editor could learn Snapchat. This week, that editor is a week older and slightly better at putting text over video. Buckle your seatbelts, because you might end up projectile-rainbow-vomiting from all the plot twists that lie ahead.
Are you on Snapchat? Get all our latest updates by following us @someecards!
Meet Dennis Wagner. Dennis got a little drunk and lost his weed. He also seems to have also lost his shirt. Fortunately for Dennis, there were friendly Alliance, OH neighborhood police officers around to ask for help.
Unfortunately, those police offers were wearing body cams and released this video to the public.
If you listen closely, you can hear our shirtless hero explain to the cops that he "lost a little bit of my marijuana."
As WKBN reported, the cops found his tiny stash within seconds amongst the grass. Of course, the officers kept the weed for "evidence," but they did give Wagner a ticket and a court summons.
The lesson here is: If you are prone to losing your weed, stay off the grass.
Also, never talk to the cops about your drugs. Ever.
Sometimes the death of your favorite fictional character can feel just as tragic than the death of someone who is actually real (it's not, but it can feel like that), and no one knows that more than Harry Potter fans. Like a vengeful literary God, Harry Potter author JK Rowling killed characters off as easily as she wrote them in, ripping hearts from the chests of loyal Potterheads and stomping on them one thousand times. To try to make up for it, she agreed to tweet an apology for a death every year on May 2nd, the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. This year, she tweeted in remembrance of Remus Lupin.
Once again, it's the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts so, as promised, I shall apologise for a death. This year: Remus Lupin.
Then, she twisted the knife even further by revealing that it wasn't even in her master plan to kill Lupin all along. That was sound of the millions of Harry Potter fan's jaws hitting the floor.
In the interests of total honesty I'd also like to confess that I didn't decide to kill Lupin until I wrote Order if the Phoenix.
Having a hand conversation with Sergio Solazzo, Regional Tour Director for Nada's Italy, is itself good enough reason to travel to Italy. Here, the delightfully expressive tour guide demonstrates a few of the most common Italian hand gestures with the utmost gusto. If you don't know how to speak Italian, memorizing these will at least help you look like you speak Italian.