Caitlyn Jenner, who enjoys using the bathroom at the Trump Tower, will soon be appearing on a newsstand near you—or, more likely, on your Facebook feed.

Us Weekly reports that the 66-year-old reality star will be getting naked on the cover of a summer issue of Sports Illustrated. In an ironic nod to that KUWTK episode where Kris Jenner took some boudoir shots, Caitlyn (who is post-op) will reportedly be accompanied by her Olympic medal and an American flag.

While sales are obviously at play, the cover is technically a 40th anniversary celebration of that time Jenner appeared at the 1976 Montreal Summer Games and set a world record in the men's decathalon.

As Jenner has yet to tweet, Instagram, or appear in a drama-filled promo about the magazine, nobody can be fully certain that she will be joining in on the family tradition of scandalous magazine covers.

Kanye West, who is all about vibes these days, hit up Steve Harvey's morning radio show on Wednesday where he talked about a lot of stuff, including Taylor Swift. "I know you wanted to talk about Taylor," West said, to which Harvey responded, "Nah." But West insisted.

Start from the beginning to hear Kanye talk about how great he is. It's strange to listen to Kanye's speaking voice without seeing his RBF, but you'll learn to deal. Skip to 17:42 to hear Kanye introduce the subject of Taylor Swift and his activism.

Here's what West had to say about his infamous interrupting moment: 

It’s not about Kanye West. It’s not about Taylor Swift. I’m not gonna mention no politicians’ names, I’m just saying that there’s a lot of people in America that feel like they now have the platform to stand up and express their closet racism. Now, before they had that platform, one really easy way to express it was to say, ‘Eff Kanye West.’ We [were] brought over here as unpaid interns, bro. Lincoln turned us into assistants.  

As eager as he was to talk about Taylor Swift, Kanye didn't have much to say about the pop singer. So, he dragged another famous white female actress into the mix.

As soon as Britney shaved her head and they saw the money going down, they had already marked what that award was gonna be that night. But they didn't expect no activist that had just lost his momma a year [earlier] sitting there with a bottle of Hennessy. The only reason why I drank the Hennessy in the first place was because I said, "Imma have to just get drunk to deal with all the lies I'm about to see."

Well, Kanye, that doesn't sound particularly healthy, now does it? 

For those who aren't deeply familiar with all the spontaneous ranting that suddenly overtakes the spirit of Kanye West, he's addressing the time he usurped Taylor Swift's 2009 VMA acceptance speech for Best Female Video.

Urban Dictionary defines "Imma let you finish" as an "Obnoxious way to interrupt someone and steal their moment, while wryly mocking that media train wreck that is Kanye West." So, looks like this moment of activism didn't pan out exactly as he thought it would.

In case you missed it, Kanye also discussed his ideas for a September tour. "I’m trying to literally inspire these kids the way Disney inspired me," he said of his Life of Pablo tour, "the way, you know, when I saw the original Star Wars." Cool kid Kanye, it turns out, is a bit of a nerd.

If you've ever wondered why celebrity physiques seem so unattainable, it's because you have to be an insane, superhuman person to survive their eating regimens. The following celebs pushed themselves to their dietary limits in ways that would probably kill the average person, or at least hospitalize them, albeit while looking red carpet-ready. No one recommends trying any of these.

1. Madonna—The Air Diet

According to International Business Times, a Dolce and Gabbana ad campaign featuring Madonna popularized this nonsense French diet called "L’Air Fooding," which was featured in a French magazine called Grazia. It involves all the steps of preparing food, up until you bring it to your mouth, at which point you breathe in the delicious aroma without consuming a single morsel of it. This diet allows you to have boiled water with salt, and that's it. Woo!

Subsisting on air has roots in "breatharianism," an ancient Eastern belief that enlightened individuals can survive on nothing but sunlight (and in some cases, water). It does not work.

2. David Bowie—The Cocaine, Red Peppers, And Milk Diet 

During the Thin White Duke era of David Bowie's career, his drug abuse was at an all time high. As reported by the Daily Mirror, the rock legend survived on nothing but cocaine, red peppers, and milk for an extended period of time in the mid-1970s, which led to the aforementioned Thin White Duke's gaunt, emaciated look.

Not even Bowie recalls this time period very well, having later admitted he didn't remember recording his tenth album Station To Station at all: "I can't even remember the studio. I know it was in L.A. because I’ve read it was.”

3. Renee Zellweger—The Ice Cubes Diet

The Huffington Post alleges that Zellweger lost and kept off weight by relying on eating ice cubes to feel full. "As long as I get that 'constant feed' feeling, it's semi-tolerable," she said. Not that she exclusively ate ice cubes, but ate them in addition to what you have to assume is very little food. The only calories that could be gained from this trick are the ones from the tooth enamel you destroy from munching on ice.

4. The Rock—The 5,000 Calories Each Day Diet

To stay as big as The Rock, one would need to down seven meals a day and enough cod to populate a god damn ocean. Here's his daily diet breakdown, from an interview with Muscle & Fitness.

Meal 1

10 oz cod

2 whole eggs

2 cups oatmeal

Meal 2

8 oz cod

12 oz sweet potato

1 cup veggies

Meal 3

8 oz chicken

2 cups white rice

1 cup veggies

Meal 4

8 oz cod

2 cups rice

1 cup veggies

1 tbsp fish oil

Meal 5

8 oz steak

12 oz baked potato

spinach salad

Meal 6

10 oz cod

2 cups rice

salad

Meal 7

30 grams casein protein

10 egg-white omelet

1 cup veggies (onions, peppers, mushrooms)

1 tbsp omega-3 fish oil

This regimen also involves an hour of cardio from four a.m. to five a.m., and an hour and a half of pumping iron after that. The sheer amount of muscle a normal person would gain from this would be enough to suffocate them, though his cheat day may be even deadlier.

5. Warren Buffet—The 5 Cokes Per Day Diet

Warren Buffet consumes five cokes everyday. The billionaire business magnate told Fortunethat he is "one quarter Coca-Cola."

If I eat 2700 calories a day, a quarter of that is Coca-Cola. I drink at least five 12-ounce servings. I do it everyday.

Buffet, 85, doesn't try to hide his affinity for sugary and/or salty treats, and uses his renowned investing logic to bet on the effectiveness of this diet as he would the market.

I checked the actuarial tables, and the lowest death rate is among six-year-olds. So I decided to eat like a six-year-old. It’s the safest course I can take.

Of course, Buffet knows how to get money. It's possible he's an investor in Coca-Cola, and is trying to inspire everyone to drink soda while he secretly feasts on a steady diet of vitamin smoothies.

6. Usain Bolt—The 100 Chicken Nuggets A Day Diet

According to the Jamaican sprinter's autobiography, Faster Than Lightning, Bolt consumed 100 McDonald's nuggets daily while he competing for the Beijing Olympics.

At first I ate a box of 20 for lunch, then another for dinner. The next day I had two boxes for breakfast, one for lunch and then another couple in the evening. I even grabbed some fries and an apple pie to go with it.

Basically this means if you eat a lot of fast food and aren't setting world records for sprinting like Bolt, you're the one who's weird.

7. Laura Prepon—The "Trick Your Body Into Thinking It's Pregnant" Diet

Prepon admitted to E! News that she went to some pretty desperate measures to drop weight. She describes the diet in her book The Stash Plan.

A doctor I consulted prescribed injections of HCG (a hormone secreted by pregnant women) to trick my body into thinking it was pregnant. The idea was that these injections (which I did myself every morning) would cause my body to burn stored fat to support the ‘baby.’ This regimen was accompanied by a starvation-level 500-calorie-per-day diet. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, it’s just as crazy as it sounds, but I was willing to try anything. When I stopped it, not only did I gain all the weight back, but my hormones were completely out of whack.

Don't try this.

8. Lady Gaga—The Drunk Diet

Though at first it sounds more fun than some of the other eating regiments here, the Drunk Diet involves drinking whiskey whenever you want but then also working out religiously. The New York Daily Newsreported Gaga's description of her regiment on a Sirius Morning Mash Up talk show.

I live my life as I want to, creatively. I like to drink whiskey and stuff while I’m working. But the deal is, I’ve got to work out every day and I work out hung over if I’m hung over. And it’s about the cross-training and keeping yourself inspired. I have to say, I do a ton of yoga.

Exercise is known to ease hangover symptoms, but still, nah.

9. Anne Hathaway—The Two Dried Oatmeal Paste Squares Diet

To lose 25 pounds for her role as Fantine in Les Miserables, Hathaway told Vogue she subsisted on nothing but two dried oatmeal paste squares per day. "I had to be obsessive about it—the idea was to look near death," she said. Hopefully she treated her self to a nice bowl of normal, warm and wet oatmeal after wrapping her scenes.

10. Hafþór "Thor" Júlíus Björnsson—The World's Strongest Man Diet

If you thought The Rock's 5,000 calories per day was insane, the massive actor who plays The Mountain on "Game of Thrones" shared his regimen on Facebook and proved he nearly outdoes The Rock by noon, clocking in at 4,300 calories before lunch.

People been asking me a lot about my diet and what I eat! Here's my diet plan for my preparation for World's Strongest Man 2016! Yes this is a lot & I don't recommend YOU to try this!!

6:50 Morning workout! Cardio + CORE for 30min Bcca, Glutamine + handful of almonds
7:30 8 eggs + 200gr Oats + blueberries & strawberries + avocado
9:30 400gr Beef, 400gr Sweet potatoes, handful of spinach & greens
11:50 Bcca, glutamine,
12:00 400gr Chicken + 400gr potatoes, greens + some fruits
14:00 Blender = 150gr oats or sweet potatoes, 2 bananas 150gr kelloggs rice krispies, frozen berries, handful almonds, peanut butter and glutamine
14:30 Training strongman, Bcca, glutamine, Vitargo
17:30 60gr protein + 2 banans
18:00 500gr beef + potatoes, greens
20:30 500gr salmon + 500gr sweet potatoes
22:30 50gr casein protein or 6 eggs + avacado + 30gr almonds + 50gr peanut butter

Drink a lot of water throughout the day + Juices to get more calories!!

middle of the night 50gr casaine protein or raw eggs

You don't get good at smashing people's skulls without an appetite equal to that of a large predator. But really you shouldn't try to get good at that.

Carrie Fisher ​has been busy since the release of Return of the Jedi in 1983, writing four novels, acting in multiple film and TV roles, and creating a one-woman show, Wishful Drinking. In addition to all those accomplishments, she has become even funnier over time, as her press appearances for The Force Awakens made everyone realize. And one thing is clear: Carrie Fisher gives zero f**ks and always tells it like it is. Here are 12 times she proved with certainty that she's the best part of the Star Wars franchise.

1. She directed interview questions on GMA to her dog.

On Fisher's appearance on Good Morning America, she made it clear that she was going to say whatever she wanted. After including Gary in the interview, she then directed the conversation towards how thin her interviewer was and wondered aloud how it's possible to enjoy exercise. It's perhaps the best morning TV interview ever recorded.

2. She shut down trolls like a champ.

She replied to haters who made remarks about her age and appearance, and summed it up with two simple words.

3. She included others when man servants fed her fruit.

Not only does she do what she wants, but she also lets others get involved with prizes. She should have as many man servants as there are Imperial stormtroopers. 

4. Can you spot the second bird?

She's always a joker. It also looks like that bird might be communing with The Force.

5. She had blunt advice for a dad concerned about her bikini from Return of the Jedi.

The father who flipped out about it, ‘What am I going to tell my kid about why she’s in that outfit?’ Tell them that a giant slug captured me and forced me to wear that stupid outfit, and then I killed him because I didn’t like it. And then I took it off. Backstage.

This was Fisher's response to a father who was "outraged" over Return of the Jedi action figures that featured the character Princess Leia wearing her infamous gold bikini.

6. She loved killing Jabba the Hutt.

I had a lot of fun killing Jabba the Hutt. They asked me on the day if I wanted to have a stunt double kill Jabba. No! That's the best time I ever had as an actor. And the only reason to go into acting is if you can kill a giant monster. 

Killing Jabba in Return of the Jedi is Fisher's favorite acting moment. She's also throwing some subtle shade at the question (and fans) by saying it's the only reason you go into acting.

7. ForceMust is the new Festivus.

Despite calling Jabba a "giant slug" and having enjoyed killing him, she still includes him in the annual Christmas card.

8. She only posed for glamor shots at the BAFTAs.

Carrie Fisher was joined by The Force Awakens costar Domhnall Gleeson at the 2016 BAFTAs. He looked very dashing, so she decided to put her hands all over him. They took several pictures together, not one of which was serious. She treated him like one of her man servants.

9. She set her blaster to kill for George Lucas in a roast.

In 2005, the American Film Institute gave a lifetime achievement award to George Lucas. Fisher had the honor of roasting Lucas, and she roasted not only him but the entire franchise, the merchandise, and the curse of being such a prolific movie character.

10. She brought two dates to The White House Correspondents' Dinner.

Guess who she brought to The White House Correspondents' Dinner? Yes, handsome Marvel actor Tom Hiddleston, but more importantly, she also brought Gary. Gary goes everywhere (with his tongue hanging out).

11. Gary met the first thing he's publicly disliked at the London premiere of The Force Awakens.

Technically this is something Gary did, but Fisher and Gary are an inseparable team, so this counts. Gary is normally really, really chill at public events, but not when he met BB-8. Gary lost his mind, which was adorable and everyone enjoyed.

12. She pretended to be a scalper with Ellen.

Fisher appeared on The Ellen Show before the release of The Force Awakens, and of course jokingly lamented how much it sucks to age. She then put on Princess Leia bun-muffs with Ellen and tried to scalp tickets to the movie. What a great sport.

It would be a gift to the entire world if General Leia Organa is in all the remaining Star Wars movies. Not only would it be wonderful for the story arcs, but it would also mean several more years of Fisher telling it like it is (or however she wants it to be).

Janet Jackson is pregnant with her first child, an anonymous source has told Entertainment Tonight. Although you may not trust anonymous sources with supposed knowledge of Jackson's womb, she has been hinting about this for a while. In a recent tweet, she didn't technically announce the pregnancy, but what she wrote (including the hashtag) technically describes how babies are made:

That looks like a super happy reaction GIF. The announcement comes just before Mother's Day, and a few weeks before her 50th birthday. Last month, she announced that she was postponing her Unbreakable world tour so she could focus on trying to start a family with her husband. It sounds like it worked. Congrats to Janet and her husband Wissam Al Mana.

On Tuesday, the day after the annual Met Gala, fashion blogger Ivy Marshall dissed Supreme Fashion Being Sarah Jessica Parker by listing her as one of the event's worst dressed. Marshall had the audacity to claim that (SFB) SJP (along with Diane von Furstenberg and Madonna) neglected to follow the ball's theme of "Manus X Machina: Fashion in an Age of Technology."

Marshall's caption reads:

The 2016 Met Gala Theme was "Manus X Machina: Fashion in the age of technology" and this trio didnt get the memo @sarahjessicaparker@dvf@madonna#fashionforward#Metgala

(Insert image of Parker sitting on her bed, Carrie Bradshaw-style, typing on a laptop: "I couldn't help but wonder…just who does this bitch think she is?")

Parker let Marshall know that she got the damn memo and did indeed pay attention to the theme. She defended her choice of the white Hamilton-inspired outfit by commenting on Marshall's actual Instagram post:

Always welcome thoughts but I’m a stickler for the theme and pay close attention to what it means. Every year with great consideration, research and conviction. The understanding of man and machine, how they intersect, when and why is what we considered. Perhaps you weren’t aware of the technology used in the details and embellishments of the design. Or perhaps you simple didn’t like that I wore which is completely fine but you can’t accuse me of not paying close attention and adhering to the theme. With respect and warmest regards, sj.

Those sure are warm regards! Toasty warm like the raging fires of hell. Also, SJP deigning to comment on a fashion blogger's analysis of one of her outfits is like George Lucas commenting on some rando's Livejournal review of Star Wars.

Marshall posted another Instagram on Wednesday, a triptych of Parker's past Met Gala looks.

She captioned this one:

2016 might not have been her best look and yes i still think she was out of place!!! Head to the blog and read my thoughts and also see my "Top 5 Met Gala looks from this Fashion Icon"
www.ivymarshall.com (link in bio)
#Africanblogger#fashion#sarahjessicaparker#metgala

Uh-huh. Okay. Marshall is lucky SJP didn't stab her with a Manolo Blahnik. Don't hold your breath waiting for SJP to comment on this one, Marshall.

Now that a man who openly said that he would date his daughter is the presumptive Republican nominee, let us discuss a man who is married to his. Woody Allen is back in the news in anticipation of his annual movie release. As part of the press, Allen talked with The Hollywood Reporter about his new movie, Soon-Yi, and his latest muse, Miley Cyrus. 

Cyrus is starring alongside Allen and Elaine May in his upcoming Amazon series, which he describes as "a domestic comedy that takes place in the late 1960s."

Cyrus first caught Allen's eye when his daughters (his daughter-daughters, not his wife-daughter) were watching Hannah Montana, and he immediately saw her spark. He told The Hollywood Reporter:

I noticed years ago that my kids would be watching Hannah Montana. And I would say: "Who is that girl? She's got such a good delivery. You know, she snaps those lines off so well. The show is a silly little show, but she's very good at what she does." And then she emerged as a singer, and someone showed me a little clip of hers from Saturday Night Live, and I said, "It confirms what I always thought about her: She is very good, she is really a talented girl." She wanted to take some time off, but she [agreed to do the series] because the role interested her. So I met her right here.​

While that might seem quite innocent, there's something creepy about Allen sitting with his daughter-daughters and wife-daughter, fantasizing about Miley Cyrus's potential.

That, however, was not the weirdest part of the interview. That honor goes to part in which he elaborated on his still-paternal relationship with his wife-daughter, and how she was some sort of Pygmalion-y project for him:

How has your wife, Soon-Yi, changed you?

Oh, well, one of the great experiences of my life has been my wife. She had a very, very difficult upbringing in Korea: She was an orphan on the streets, living out of trash cans and starving as a 6-year-old. And she was picked up and put in an orphanage. And so I've been able to really make her life better. I provided her with enormous opportunities, and she has sparked to them. She's educated herself and has tons of friends and children and got a college degree and went to graduate school, and she has traveled all over with me now. She's very sophisticated and has been to all the great capitals of Europe. She has just become a different person. So the contributions I've made to her life have given me more pleasure than all my films. 

Here's hoping Miley isn't playing Soon-Yi in the "domestic comedy." That would be too much like the star of Allen's past two movies, Emma Stone. 

The fact that Hodor was once able to say words other than "Hodor" wasn't the most discussed plot twist on the latest episode of Game of Thrones, but it was still intriguing as hell. Why would Hodor go from a kindhearted stable boy named Wylis to a severely impaired, gigantic man who mostly just carries Bran around and says "Hodor" with varying degrees of pathos? One fan thinks he knows why: Hodor was once a warg, just like Bran.

Writes user TazoGreenTea on Reddit:

Could Hodor possibly have been a Warg when he was Wylis?

Sorry if this has been mentioned before but I just thought about it this morning as a possible explanation as to what turned Wylis into Hodor. Given that Hodor could speak as a boy, it might be possible that he was once a warg or possibly had the greensight.

The three-eyed Raven once said that he's been following Bran, Meera and Hodor all their lives. Three-Eyed Raven link It's very possible that Wylis had similar visions that Bran had of the three-eyed raven. Wylis may have been more attuned to his abilities especially if his Old Nan told him stories and shared more knowledge about Warging. I'm thinking that Wylis went far beyond the limits of warging which may have mentally damaged him and turned him into Hodor. I remember Jojen Reed warning Bran not to warg for too long or else he'll be trapped and forget he's human. Jojen Bran link

Also, it would make sense that Hodor warged and identified more as a horse, since he was a stable boy. He's also afraid of thunder like horses Hodor thunder link and has carried Bran on his back using a saddle. Hodor carrying Bran pic

Hopefully an explanation is given in the later episodes as to what happened to Wylis.

Gbinasia built on that theory intriguingly:

Now, if Wyllis was a warg, what would he warg into? As a stable boy, it would make sense that his choice would be to warg into a horse since, like dogs, they are docile and are accustomed to his presence. And if the (possibly) only girl treating him nicely was Lyanna, it would make complete sense that this is the horse he would warg into. White is a symbol of purity, innocence, and Wyllis/Hodor is all that. He could warg into that horse so that he gets pet, brushed and generally receive attention no girls would give him. Since Rhaegar and Lyanna would eventually run away from everyone, it also makes sense that they would both be on horses while doing so and Wyllis/Hodor would have been witness to many events of that storyline.

So why would Hodor lose his speaking abilities? My guess is that the horse was slain during battle while Hodor was warging into it, which would explain why he is a very much a simpleton now and is afraid of fighting and lightning. Would also explain why Bran is able to warg into a human, because the mind inside the human is an animal's mind (or the remnant of a mind trapped into a horse). Edit: not necessarily the actual horse's mind, but Hodor's mind mixed with a horse's instint, like Bran feels what Summer feels in his 'dreams'. And, even more obvious, it would explain how Hodor has been such a fantastic person to carry Bran because it's litterally what horses do. Besides, Wylis's demise into Hodor would also serve as an amazing warning to Bran about the dangers of warging, and you can see how the Three Eyed Raven almost interjects when Bran says 'Hodor talks!'. Think about it: wouldn't it be an amazing end to Bran's arc this season? Considering how isolated he is, there are few characters that would make an impact on him. Bran even asks Hodor about what happened to him, and Hodor has no answer but Hodor. For now.

It's convincing, right? But this isn't the only theory. You might prefer this trippy time travel take on things from DustyMuffin:

My feeling is we have already seen show Bran getting very bold, instead of looking from a distance much to the dismay of the raven he ventures closer to his visions of family gone past. Bran will eventually try and communicate or alter history as he knows it, he will not drown from being there too long but his attempts at fixing the past will have dire consequences.

I believe that Bran will see the past as he does, then try and warg into Hordor at the time of one of his green visions. Trying to warg into a past version of Wylis and use his speech to warn someone of the coming danger or how to alter the course of history. As Bran yells and screams inside the head of Wylis to try and get out a warning all that will come from the mouth of Wylis will be 'Hordor.'

Bran will learn the lesson of meddling with the past by being the cause of Hordor's mental state. Showing him that he can not try and fix or warn anyone without causing great harm.

But there are even crazier ideas out there. From Mokey_Maker:

My theory is... Tinfoil warning! Put on your hats! This one is a bit of a stretch but hear me out.

Willis got kicked in the head by a horse and the ensuing brain damage turned him into Hodor.

Wow. Makes you think. 

Jacob Tremblay, the adorable child star from the film Room, celebrated Star Wars Day with his puppy in the best possible way. First of all, Tremblay's puppy is named Rey after Daisy Ridley's character in The Force Awakens. That already proves that he's a huge Star Wars fan. Today, he took his fandom to the next level for May the 4th with this photo:

After seeing Rey next to the Millennium Falcon, her adorable brown fur makes it look like she could've been named Chewie. 

Here's an older shot of Rey posing with an Imperial walker after receiving her name:

If he ever wants to try out the Chewbacca pose, all he needs to do is have Rey pose next to a toy crossbow or wearing an ammo belt. If Rey posed in a hood, she could be made to look like an Ewok, except Ewoks are the worst Star Wars characters. Surely Tremblay already knows that.

If you haven’t changed your Netflix queue in a while, you may want to do it this month. A slew of pretty exciting movies and TV shows have already been added to the streaming website for May. Didn’t catch Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure? Don’t worry, you’ll be able to revisit some of your other favorite throwbacks such as Sixteen Candles, Pleasantville, and Bring It On. 

As for Netflix Originals, Chelsea Handler’s highly-anticipated talk show is slotted for May 11—this is the first time a major talk show will be distributed primarily through a streaming site. Yup, it’s huge. Also, you’ll be thrilled to know that Bloodline season 2 will come out on May 27, because who doesn’t love a show featuring a conflicted American family with a dark past?

Here's everything coming and going in Netflix this May.

Arrivals:

May 1
A Study in Sherlock
Admiral
Ava’s Possessions
Bring It On
Bring It On: All or Nothing
Easy Living (Seasons 1-3)
El Crítico
FernGully 2: The Magical Rescue
Finger of God
Gary Gulman: It’s About Time
Great Expectations
I Am Road Comic
Jesus Town, USA
Just Friends
Kevin Hart Presents Keith Robinson: Back of The Bus Funny
Kevin Hart Presents Lil Rel: RELevent
Kevin Hart Presents: Plastic Cup Boyz
LoliRock (Season 1)
My Last Day Without You
The Nutty Professor
Off the Map
Palm Trees in the Snow
Pleasantville
Shark Lake
She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry
Sixteen Candles
Sugar Coated
Terra
Things We Lost in the Fire
To Catch a Thief
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Runnin’ Down a Dream
Who’s Driving Doug

May 2
The Replacements

May 3
Submerged

May 4
The Keeping Room
Shanghai Knights

May 5
Fourth Man Out
Marseille

May 6
Ali Wong: Baby Cobra
Baby Daddy (Season 5)
Grace and Frankie(Season 2)
Young & Hungry (Season 3)

May 8
The Chosen Ones

May 9
A Stand Up Guy

May 10
​Eisenstein in Guanajuato

May 11
Chelsea
Goosebumps
They Look Like People

May 12
Bleeding Heart

May 15
We Are Still Here
Yo Soy la Salsa

May 17
American Dad! (Season 10)
Kindergarten Cop 2
Slasher (Season 1)

May 18
A Girl Like Her

May 19
Benders (Season 1)

May 20
Lady Dynamite (Season 1)

May 22
David and Goliath
The Letters
The Ouija Experiment 2: Theatre of Death

May 23
Electricity

May 26
​Graceland (Season 3)
The Last Man on the Moon

May 27
Bloodline (Season 2)
Chef’s Table (Season 2, Part 1)
The Do-Over
Mako Mermaids (Season 4)

May 28
Hell on Wheels (Season 5)

Departures:

May 1

The Animatrix
Anna Karenina
Author! Author!
Beware of Mr. Baker
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Broadway Idiot
Bus Stop
Election
The Good Life
Holiday Engagement
Kiss of Death
Mad Hot Ballroom
Mona Lisa Is Missing
Ralphie May: Austin-tatious
Terms And Conditions May Apply
That’s What I Am
Thérèse
Truth or Die
Young & Handsome: An Evening with Jeff Garlin

May 2

Slightly Single in L.A.

May 3

JFK: The Smoking Gun
Stealing Harvard
Finding Normal
JFK: A President Betrayed
Cheerful Weather for the Wedding
Cracks
Tears of the Sun
The Score
The Ladykillers
Is the Man Who Is Tall Happy?
The Master of Disguise
Offender
A Pope For Everyone
Bratz: BFF: Best Friends Forever
The Greatest Places: IMAX
In Her Skin
Inhale
The Quest (Season 1)
Search for the Great Sharks: IMAX
Tiger Eyes
Blade Runner: Theatrical Cut
The Last Tycoon
Peep World
Struck by Lightning
Ida
Black Hawk Down
Escape from Tomorrow
Run & Jump
Vanishing of the Bees
Barfi!
These Birds Walk
Clerks 

People get too sick to work all the time, and the responsible thing to do is to stay home and avoid infecting others—so, if you just say you're sick, who's to say that didn't happen to you? These bosses, that's who. So, fake a sick day if you must, but if you do, for the love of Ferris, keep your story simple and stay off Facebook.

1. Matt, whose daughter is intensive care at Incredibly General Hospital.

2. Kyle Doyle, who begged for proof he was faking it.

3. Ed, who has missed a bunch of days and needs to work on his excuses.

4. "Employee," who shall remain nameless (and jobless).

The manager of "employee" posted his bust on reddit with this note explaining his "managerial style."

"Let me preface this by saying I try to be a very fair employer. Everybody fucks up, that's how you learn, I get that. This management style will cause me to be taken advantage of from time to time. It's a fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, go fuck yourself if you get caught kind of thing."

5. This intern who called out sick and then got busted live on the radio

He can watch this video over and over again with all his new free time.

6. Kevin Colvin, who needed to spread his wings.

The message reads:

Paul/Jill -
I just wanted to let you know that I will not be able to come into work tomorrow. Something came up at home and I had to go to New York this morning for the next couple of days. I apologize for the delayed notice.
Kind regards,
Kevin 

Then he went to a Halloween party and posted this photo to Facebook

Kevin returned from the party to find this email from his boss waiting for him

7. This guy who's boss decided to keep a record of all his fake excuses.

8.  This road-trippin' dude who doesn't quite get how pictures work.

9. This lady, who got caught doing really boring things she wasn't supposed to be doing while sick.

10. Finally, you gotta hand it to this guy for staying true to his story.

At a Houston nightclub in April, Justin Bieber had a fun college-style night involving cigarettes and a beer bong, Uproxx reported. The night kicked off with Bieber putting out a cigarette (or something else smoke-able) on the arm of his tour mate, Post Malone.

Then, according toTMZ, the 22-year-old singer gave it a go at a beer bong, only to show his ineptitude at the drinking apparatus. Robert Earl Morgan, who was present at the club, said Bieber "was clearly a novice" with the beer bong and spilled everywhere. Sounds like Bieber isn't going to make the cut for SAE this year.

Morgan was noticing all this because he was filming Bieber—an act that Bieber did not take kindly to. Bieber apparently grabbed Morgan's phone and smashed it to pieces (yeah, this is definitely a college-y night).

Morgan is suing Bieber for a whopping $100,000 because Morgan's phone had business contacts and about 5,000 pictures, including ones from his grandmother's 100th birthday party. It's certainly too bad that Morgan lost out on pics from old Gran-Gran's big bash, but $100,000 is a lot of money for a phone. 

Russian security cameras never fail to capture amazing and horrifying things, like this pooch who narrowly escaped a fate worthy of a Final Destination movie. Yahoo! News posted this footage from a St. Petersburg elevator, which shows a woman and a child entering the elevator trailed by an fluffy dog. The dog doesn't seem to even be theirs, but that's unclear. It's leash is still outside of the lift as the doors close and the elevator begins to descend. Fortunately, these two humans were there to save the dog in the nick of time.

Weirdly enough, this is not the first time a Russian person has saved a dog from an elevator.

If there's any lesson to be learned by Russian dog owners here, it's to use the stairs.

On Wednesday, Becca Zavorski (who goes by Beccaria on Imgur) posted a picture of a guy asleep sitting up on a couch, writing "The intern fell asleep at work." Then, in the grand tradition of the Internet, Photoshop was booted up and the picture was immediately memed—first, with the classic (2010) "Deal With It" sunglasses. This was followed by many other re-imaginings of this slumbering intern. Clearly, he wasn't the only one avoiding work, because while he was snoozing, everyone else was busy Photoshopping the living crap out of him.

According to New York magazine, the guy's name is Kory Brocious, and he's an intern at an ad agency in Atlanta. This is the downside to working with a team of creative folks. Accountants would never do this.

"Rose, you seem sleepy."

Pucker up, Kory.

Just a normal day at the beach.

Sleeping his way to the Olympic gold.

"Those (still) aren't pillows!"

"I love you." "I know."

Best catch of the day.

Seventies livin'.

At least he'll probably never fall asleep at work again.

Rapper 50 Cent majorly screwed up after he recorded a video of himself randomly taunting a 19-year-old airport janitor named Andrew Farrell. Fiddy accused Farrell of being high, but it turned out that he is actually autistic and suffers from social anxiety. Although 50 Cent (whose real name is Curtis Jackson III) took down the video shortly after he posted it to  Instagram, it had already been ripped from his account and reposted in various places, doomed to haunt him for the rest of forever. 

According to TMZ, Farrell's stepfather Ken Kramer said that the family was lawyering up in anticipation of a potential lawsuit. TMZ also reported that the family requested a $1 million donation to Farrell in order to drop the lawsuit, but the family's lawyer later said that reports of such a demand were completely false. The lawyer states that the family was never looking for any monetary compensation (according to Jackson's financial history, he probably couldn't have paid the million anyway), merely a sincere apology from Jackson. With a potential lawsuit looming, Jackson made his first good decision in a really long time and revealed to Page Six to report that he had apologized to the family privately.

While the incident at the airport resulted from an unfortunate misunderstanding, I am truly sorry for offending the young man. It was certainly not my intent to insult him or the disability community, which is a source of great strength in America. I have apologized personally to him and his family.

Local 12 News, the news station that originally interviewed Farrell and his family after the 50's incriminating video went viral, also posted this picture of the apology from Jackson, complete with a hilarious "G Unit" letterhead. 

In a statement from the family's lawyer, Andrew and his family have decided to accept the apology. They also requested that Fiddy make a donation to Autism Speaks. 

The family also released the following statement. 

We would first like to thank everyone for the amazing amount of support that they have shown over the past few days. It has been an emotional roller coaster that we are ready to put to rest. As requested we have received a letter apologizing for 50 cent's behavior and we have chosen to accept it, along with a request that a donation be made to Autism Speaks. Though a letter of apology will not under what 50 cent has put our family through, we are choosing to forgive. A great lesson can be learned from this heartbreaking situation. Regardless of the way that another person appears to you, it is never okay to publicly humilate them via social media. We hope that this situation brings more awareness to what people with autism and other forms of social anxiety suffer through on a daily basis. Again, we thank the growing number of supporters who have shown both love and acceptance during this difficult time. 

Signed, Andrew and the Farrell/Kramer Family

In the wake of this disaster and his financial troubles, Fiddy has announced his next album will be titled Lose All Your Money And Respect Or Die Tryin'.

The Internet is filled with Star Wars content just about every day, with the franchise forever looming like a Force ghost. But a specific date on the calendar lights up the fandom: May the 4th, as in, "May the Force (fourth) be with you." Other than Carrie Fisher's consistently excellent Twitter, the greatest Star Wars tribute comes from sexy pilot/singing man Oscar Isaac. 

Isaac covered the Star Wars song from that SNL made famous in the 70s. Here's the original, with music by John Williams and lyrics by Bill Murray:

When you see Poe Dameron singing you'll be like, "Poe...Dam!" (Sorry.)

While Isaac has yet to sing in Star Wars, brought his musical talents to the set, leading a crew of X-Wing pilots in a samba. 

And he gifted us in December with a Daisy Ridley duet.

Isaac is officially the most charming gentleman in the Star Wars universe, especially since [FORCE AWAKENS SPOILER REDACTED].

Though Robert Downey Jr. refuses to make his own political views public, he was happy to share Tony Stark's presidential pick for 2016 in a recent interview with Howard Stern. While promoting Captain America: Civil War, Downey explained:

I believe Tony [Stark], being a budding feminist, he would say it's time to have some feminine energy in the White House.

He confirmed to Stern that "[Tony Stark] does" back Hillary Clinton. It indeed makes total sense that Hillary would earn the backing of a weapons-manufacturing billionaire.

As for his own political preferences, he preferred to keep them more on the hush-hush than Iron Man's, noting:

I'm going to vote. That's what's important.

Downey also said that Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America, would probably be a fan of Ted Cruz:

If you go along with his points of view in the movie, he would back up whoever was for accountability.

After Tuesday, it looks like Stark bet on the better team.

Listen to Robert Downey Jr.'s full interview with Howard Stern below.