On Sunday, in honor of Mother's Day, Kendra Wilkinson posted a picture to Instagram of the stretch marks she's earned after giving birth to two kids, Hank, age 6, and Alijah Mary, 11 months. The 30-year-old reality TV star captioned the post, "Look what my 2 babies did... They made me happy. #happymothersday." 

She also posted an old picture of herself, looking exhausted, with daughter Alija right after she was born, captioned, "Happy mastitis day. Ooops I meant Mother's Day!! Flashback to the first week with Alijah." Ah, the joys of motherhood.

It's a good thing those babies are so lovable, because that does not look fun. 

On Saturday, Amy Schumer tweeted a picture of her first book, The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo, due to be released on August 16. Surprise! She's naked on the cover.

The 34-year-old is no stranger to being naked in pictures. She was photographed naked last year by Annie Leibovitz for the famous Pirelli calendar. She also tweeted a picture of herself topless in response to movie critic/total jerk Jeffrey Wells, who, in a review of her movie Trainwreck, described Schumer as "Jennifer Aniston’s somewhat heavier, not-as-lucky sister who watches a lot of TV and should probably work out more."

Basically, he wrote that Schumer was too heavy to play a version of herself in the movie she wrote, about herself. Classy! Also, totally incorrect.

According to the publisher Gallery Books, her book will "feature personal and observational stories from Schumer that range from the raunchy to the romantic, the heartfelt to the harrowing."

Schumer auctioned the rights to publish the book, with the winning bid reportedly falling between $8 and $10 million. That's enough money to buy a lot of clothes, but she probably won't need them. By now she has to be pretty used to being naked. And good for her, too.

But maybe a wrap for when it gets chilly, girl.

5. Ozzy Osbourne, because he and Sharon are splitsville.

It's a rough day to be the Prince of Darkness. After 33 years of marriage, Sharon Osbourne has dumped Ozzy. And the reason why is almost certain to surprise you, because it's not drugs. You definitely assumed it was because of drugs.

In 2013, the couple split because of Ozzy's drug and alcohol problems, but he got back on the wagon and the two reconciled. But this time, sources say that the Black Sabbath frontman, famous for biting the heads off bats and doing drugs, is still clean. Instead, he's been cheating on Sharon with another bat woman. Specifically, a much younger hairstylist.

Will this breakup be for good, or will Sharon take Ozzy back once again? She's proven herself an understanding woman, and might do it for the sake of their three grown children, as well as any reality shows they may make in the future. Or maybe she'll just let this haircut lady deal deal with Ozzy's acid flashbacks, incomprehensible mumbling, and split ends from now on.

4. Jermaine Jackson, because Janet never told him she's pregnant.

Last week, the Internet was rocked by news that 49-year-old Janet Jackson was pregnant with her first child. Even though she had recently suspended her tour in order to try for a baby, the fact that she succeeded so soon came as a total surprise to everyone in the world, including her family, who apparently weren't told.

TMZ caught up with Janet's brother Jermaine in a Calabasas parking lot, and the famous singer graciously agreed to answer their questions, even though a storm was rolling in. But these paparazzi were clearly surprised to hear that Jermaine had no advance notice of the fact that his famous family is getting bigger.

It seems that after all these years, the Jacksons are still keeping secrets from one another. If only their lives could be as open to the world as Jermaine's nipples.

3. Khloe Kardashian, because Lamar is drinking again.

Even the Internet's most dedicated Kardashian haters have to have a little sympathy for Khloe at this point. She's made so many efforts to stand by Lamar Odom, and he just keeps breaking her heart. This kind of drama is too real for her—she's just used to fake reality show drama.

After almost dying from an OD at a brothel last year, Odom swore to Kardashian (his ex-wife) that he would get clean. And he did, for a while. But rumors have been flying that the former NBA player is back to his old tricks, and on Sunday, he was photographed drinking in a bar at the Beverly Center mall in Los Angeles. Drinking at a mall on Mother's Day. Ouch.

Of course, Khloe and Lamar are not currently together, so maybe he feels less pressure to keep his word to her. Or maybe, like so many addicts, he's just fighting every day with his ingrained self-destructive habits. Either way, he deserves sympathy. Especially now that he's made his return to Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Being on that show would drive anybody to drink.

2. A trucker who crashed and released millions of bees all over the highway.

A semi truck crashed on I-80 in Wyoming last Wednesday, which would have been a problem no matter what it was carrying. But considering that it was carrying nothing but active beehives, it was a big problem. Motorists on the road found themselves driving straight into a horror movie.

The driver/truck owner apparently fell asleep behind the wheel (an impressive feat, considering his cargo) and drove off the side of the road. The truck tipped and landed on its passenger side, releasing millions of understandably angry bees into the area. Wyoming Highway Patrol Trooper Aren Peter arrived on the scene shortly after, and was amazed by what he saw. He told the Laramie Boomerang:

I would say probably a football field in any direction from the truck was swarming with honey bees.

He couldn't give any more specific information, because he wisely decided not to get out of his patrol car. A few good samaritans stopped to help, and got stung. So did the tow truck driver. But the bee-hauling trucker was only concerned with recovering the swarm. Here's a dramatic recreation of the scene:

1. A guy on trial for throwing an alligator through a drive-thru window.

When you think about it, isn't throwing an alligator into a drive-thru window a victimless crime? Unless you count the poor minimum-wage employee working the window. Or the alligator. But while it may not be victimless, it is stupid.

24-year-old Joshua James of Jupiter, Florida, found a 3.5-foot alligator by the side of the road last October, and immediately thought up one of his classic Joshua James pranks. He knew an employee at a local Wendy's, so he decided to go to the drive-thru, order a drink, and then throw the bewildered reptile into the restaurant. As this surveillance video shows, the drive-thru worker was so scared, she bolted through the same window:

In February, Florida wildlife officials tracked him down by tracing a credit card he used at the same Wendy's, and he was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, illegal possession of an alligator, and petty theft. It's a pretty heavy sentence, especially the part about calling a three-foot alligator a deadly weapon. At most, that thing would take off a couple toes.

WPTV News caught up with James and recorded his hilariously Floridian explanation for his behavior:

Now, the young prankster (who ironically idolized the Crocodile Hunter) is throwing himself on the mercy of the court. He is allowing the judge to name his sentence, and has filed an open plea. His sentencing is set for May 31. Will the judge take mercy on James and his juvenile antics? Or will he give him some weird sentence, like being the alligator's butler forever? That wouldn't be surprising. Florida law is weird like that.

On Thursday, Michael Phelps and his fiancée Nicole Johnson welcomed their son Boomer Robert. The couple announced their pregnancy last November. Over the weekend, Phelps posted a shirtless pic with him, Nicole, and the little boomer of joy. The new dad does not (yet) have a dad bod, but very much still a swimmer bod. He always goes shirtless for a good reason, like getting some skin-to-skin time with his newborn:

Just in time for Mother's Day, Phelps also posted a pic of Nicole and Boomer:

It's likely that this kid has the potential to be a tremendous athlete. With a name like Boomer Phelps, he'll almost certainly have to be a golfer.

When you're Mariah Carey, this is what you wear to a 13-year-old's bat mitzvah: black mesh over a revealing cutout bodysuit. The singer performed at her manager's daughter's Jewish coming-of-age party on Friday in Hollywood.

And when someone says "mazel tov" to you, because that is a really normal thing to say at someone's bat mitzvah, you respond with, "what?"

Because you have no idea what that means. Because you're Mariah Carey and you've already done plenty by agreeing to perform. Because even though "mazel tov" is Hebrew for "congratulations," and almost every person on the planet knows that, you don't need to know what's happening around you. You are Mariah Carey. 

You are a space alien. 

McKenna Pilling is a student at Utah State University, and was packing up to head home after finals. Her mom decided to surprise her with a visit to her dorm, only to end up in trespassing into somebody else's bed.

Momma Pilling ended up breaking and entering into a room that didn't belong to her daughter (but whoever they were, they had good taste in sheets.)

McKenna Pilling recounted the story to BuzzFeed News: “She came to surprise me from New York City to help clean out my dorm and apparently walked in the wrong dorm. No one was in there so she laid down for five minutes in the wrong bed and decided to send me a picture as a surprise.”

The tweet quickly went super viral, collecting just over 12,000 retweets in a little over four days.

Momma Pilling's surprise came just in time for Mother's Day, her newfound viral status making for a sweet gift. 

Pilling added that upon seeing the tweet go viral, her mom said, "I wish I would’ve taken a better picture." That millennial sentiment makes her the ultimate Cool Mom.

A freak screen door accident caused the amputation of Libby Sanders's pinky last March, as reported by BuzzFeed News. Matt, her husband, stepped up to show his unwavering commitment to Libby with a loving gesture that made the whole world both collectively "aww" and resent their own partner for not being as thoughtful. The Indiana couple's Facebook post has been shared over 120,000 times by mid-May. 

Here's the full message:

This is who I married....

I was painting my nails and made a comment that I forget I don't have to paint my pinky nail on my left hand. I simply forget that I lost my pinky, but it is always kind of a bummer when I am reminded. Matt said "I will be your surrogate pinky. You can paint my pinky to match your nails for the rest of our lives"

And so we did....

I cannot image a sweeter, kinder man. No words adequately describe our love.

And here's the couple themselves. On top of their flawless relationship, they're god damn beautiful.

This is only the beginning of Matt's nauseatingly cute tributes to his wife of six years, who he proposed to after just four and a half months of dating and is currently raising five children alongside. He also named his independent ice cream shop after her, Libby's Gourmet Ice Cream, which may or may not be staffed by chubby-cheeked children.

This perfect relationship is pretty much the plot of a bad romantic paperback. Libby told BuzzFeed she's well aware of this.

I tell my friend and family that I have the guy that runs after the girl.

Libby received an outpouring of support as the images spread across the Internet, from friends and family to amputees who reached out to share their own experiences.

I really like the people who have reached out to me to say they have really helped them.

Matt, the cloying sap he is, was surprised at the posts' popularity.

It’s kind of just us being us. Neither of us thought much of it.

What a hunk.

As endearing as Matt is, Libby is probably only in that marriage for the Pixie Dust flavored ice cream.

Impressing a girl may seem like a hard endeavor, because it is. Especially when dudes with inflated egos pull horrible pickup lines out of their butt just to woo unsuspecting girls on the street. They don't know you, dude. Chill out, be polite, and show off your great personality when the time is right.

These 30 stories from many, manyRedditthreads show just how desperate guys are when it comes to courtship. You can't even call it courtship. These failed attempts in trying to impress a girl is more like harassment? Get ready to cringe.

1. The guy in NoWomanFullCry's story has a bright future.

I was at a party with this guy, and he shoved his entire fist into his own mouth to impress a girl.

2. Iamdrgroot's best friend was way too stoned.

My best friend, who was high as fuck did this to his crush of a long time:

goes up to this girl

In his stoned voice, "y-you know, your phone is absolutely worthless..."

"Excuse me, why?"

With a creepy grin, "because you don't have my number in it!"

Proceeds to laugh uncontrollably

3. The girl in RediRook's story will never lucid dream again.

I was waiting for a tutorial once when I heard a guy bragging to a girl about how he had taught himself to lucid dream, specifically so that he could dream about having sex with girls that he met.

She had the most uncomfortable and frightened laughter I have ever heard.

4. Mattxy8's coworker hates NSFW balloons.

Done to a coworker of mine:

Guy walks up to her with a penis shaped balloon and ask her if she can hold it for him.

She just says "no, my hands are full"

The guy stands there awkwardly because he hadn't planned this far

The entire bar laughed at his failed attempt.

5. This girlwent on date with a total creep.

Ha one time a guy was showing me some picture he took on his phone. As he's scrolling, tons of nudes from other girls pop up in his camera role. Like WTF dude this is our first date, I don't want to see sketchy pictures like that. At least save them to another album.

Edit: we did not go on another date.

6. Hopefully the dude in crabnick92's story wasn't telling the truth.

Immediately bragging or showing off within 5 minutes of conversation. That includes how much you make, your job, etc. One guy at a bar last week grabbed my arm to shout in my ear, "I HAD CANCER WHEN I WAS A KID." Yeah, don't do that...

7. You can't blame Soomuchcoffee's buddy. It's a catchy rap song.

My buddy learned how to do the rap part from "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies to impress this girl a grade below us. On the bus one day and he's busting it out with full enthusiasm "Chickity China, the Chinese chicken!" Still rapping, he leans into the girl and "Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes" and gives her the look like she should do the next part.

Yeah uh, that would be a no from her, firm no.

Oh did we laugh.

8. The tool in Lomax0's story gets an A for effort.

Guy in in my fraternity kept telling this girl he was into he could do a 100 second keg stand. So obviously other guys immediately called his bluff and he wanted to prove it. They hoisted him and up and hit the release on the keg tab and started counting. Poor guy made it to 56 seconds before vomit shot out of his noise and all over the keg tap spout thingamabob.

This was witnessed by about 50 people. Half were horrified, half were dying of laughter. The guy's face had turned white from embarrassment but decided to go with it. He stood up smiled at the crowd and said, "Soothing." and walked away. The girl was completely disgusted and left.

9. Kamatacci's roommate has a "big shit eating grin."

My college roommate was constantly striking out, and badly, but he still thought he was the man. One day we were walking, and he saw a girl he met at a party:

"Hey...Neeeecole "

"Oh hey, (actually sounding excited) you from the other night! What was your name again?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." With a big shit eating grin, he George Jefferson struts away.

10. The guy in ImALiarDontListen2Me's story takes the Zelda video game way too seriously.

So theres a girl with a Zelda triforce tattoo on her hand hanging out at the bar and up comes strange nerd boy who thinks he has hit the jackpot. He goes up and starts gabbing away about Zelda how cool "female gamers" are. She is uninterested but he just keeps at it. I hear him say "us fellow gamers need to stick together" and that shes "a rare creature indeed". Her body language shifted from "uninterested" to "fuck off and die", but he didnt pick up on it until after he had finished a long animated story about videogames and she didnt even reply. Another guy came up to talk to her/rescue her. Nerdboy loses it.

He jumps up calls her a fat ugly slut and stomps away. Its horrible. Half the bar goes quiet. But nerdboy wasn't done. He stomped back in to say "By the way, just because you played Ocarina of time doesn't make you a true gamer, bitch" and then turns around with a smile on his face, confident that he has just totally humiliated her and saved face before leaving. I think about that guy often.

11. Sometimes, you can go full out bro like DeepBalls_ and get away with it.

Wanna see how many pushups I can do? Sit on my back and hold my protein shake.

Edit: I actually saw a guy do this and it worked, the girl loved it.

Edit 2: the guy was me.

12. Rafmanbegins' story is definitely the most WTF story.

There was this Indian guy that had really freakishly small hands. I'm talking child hands. He also had really buggy eyes that would bulge out along with his Adam's apple because he was really skinny, he kind've looked like a noodle. Anyway his routine was to run up to a girl on the street at night at the club district and yell out

"LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS!" The girl would then have a frightened look in her eye like she'd just found out the wine she was enjoying was poured by Bill Cosby.

The girl would then slowly raise her hand and this Indian guy would put his hand against it Tarzan style. Keep in mind this guy literally had toddler size hands. The girl would then say

"You have really small hands.." To which he'd practically cut them off with

"WELL I HAVE AN EVEN SMALLER DICK!" then he'd just stare with those buggy eyes.

It never worked, granted I only saw him do it to two girls.

13. Everyone knows a dude who wore a shirt like the guy in PixiePrime's story.

He wore a shirt with two arrows pointing to his biceps that said "welcome to the gun show"... cringe and laugh...

14. The guy in MarthaGail's thinks real life is like Grease.

I once went on a second date with a guy who came to pick me up. I live in apartments and try to be super considerate of my neighbors all the time. As soon as I get in his car he starts revving his engine super loud. A.) I'm not impressed by that, whatsoever and B.) I'm sure none of my neighbors appreciated the noise.

That was our last date.

15. The guy (athlete?) in Zer0DarkFlirty's story definitely needs to work on his landing.

Guy at my old high school tried to impress a bunch of girls during PE when we were playing basketball. Tried to dunk, but instead fell completely short and landed on his face. Wound up breaking his nose.

16. Turbie knows a lot about cars. The guy in her story clearly doesn't.

When they try to impress me with their knowledge with out taking my own into consideration. For example this guy recently tried hitting on me in a parking lot. He then started giving me bad car advice, and it was obvious I knew more than him in mechanics.

EDIT: I never said I was a car expert or into cars. I just said I know more about mechanics than the guy talking to me. Things like "That's not a transmission problem, you just need to replace your U-Joint" or "Your car is not bleeding, that's transmission fluid" "Steam coming out from under the hood? Cracked radiator or blown hose." "Oh hey, your car is squealing when you turn the wheel, you might want to check your belts"

17. This 30-year-old's pick-up line was Definitely_Working. NOT.

"So, my name is James... but YOU can call me cocaine" - spoken by a 30+ year old who looked like the burnout from dazed an confused, to an 18 year old girl at a ~high school party they were crashing.

It became the go to line for the circle of people that went to those parties. someone still occasionally pulls the line out 5 years later.

18. Woeepu is definitely a recruiter.

When guys give me a "resume", or tell me why I should date them. "I'm real buff, I'll treat you real nice, I make lots of money, I'll buy you gifts..." Like I'm some sort of a shallow brainless twit that is looking to hire a boyfriend.

19. Nomoreusernamesvac is better at parkour than he is at impressing girls.

So this just happened a couple of minutes ago and I'm still punching myself in the face about it.

Let me give you some background, it's a late winter night here (~9pm) in Australia, I do parkour and I catch the bus home. Now, part of parkour is wearing a super derro outfit. I'm talking 6XL $5 trackies and a baggy hoodie. So I get on the bus and the girl is looking at me she's kinda cute. Cool, I don't sit near her because I'm not weird and didn't want to harass her. Coincidentally, we're getting off at the same stop, cool, whatever nothing great. I get off the bus and she's right in front of me. I've got my longboard with me and she's walking. At the bus stop there are two ways you can go, a dirt path cutting straight across and a footpath you can go around. I go around because I've got my board and end up in front of her and I go ahead.

I crash because I'm dumb and bad and think "I could use this opportunity to impress this girl" so I do a backflip and a sideflip then keep going. See a railing later on, I do a few tricks on the railing, nothing too fancy, she gets in front of me, gives me a quick nod and after around a minute I get cold and bored of the railings. At this point it looks like we're still headed in the same direction. Weird, cool, whatever. I'm walking at this point because it's uphill and she keeps looking back, I realise I might be being a bit weird so I should just hurry past her and once I'm at the top of the hill I start longboarding. At this point she literally sprints away. I think "why is she sprinting?" So naturally I follow her for about a minute before I realised.

tl;dr - Thought I could impress a girl, but I ended up making her think I was going to kidnap her.

20. Foofs123's is book smart, not girl smart.

I took and pretended to struggle with intro to college calculus just to get in close with this girl.

Didn't really work since one of her friends ended up being a girl I had tutored in Linear Algebra. lol

21. Marty102's mom got hit on by a "gnome."

My parents were walking through Target when this stumpy guy walks up to my mom. He says, "Sugar zero, sugar zero, sugar zero". Mom laughs and asks him what he means. The guy goes, "If anybody asks, you can tell them that I whispered sweet nothings to you". My dad was laughing too hard to care. Tl ;dr Mom got told sweet nothings by a gnome.

22. You don't want to sit next to this guy at a movie theater.

This girl (I liked) was pointing at something in the dark, in a theater. For some reason I had the urge to stroke her finger.

Didn't end well.

23. The guy in Agentfantabulous' story sounds charming, but desperate.

An architecture student named a skyscraper after me.

Several days later, he sent me an e-mail saying that I had become his new reason for breathing.

I had known him for a week, and I lived 3 states away.

24. Your not-so-romantic ex probably knew what was coming, Melbosa.

I had been dating a guy for maybe a month or so, we were both in our early 20s.

The night I broke things off with him, he said "well I'd been planning on giving you this."

And proceeded to give me a full page picture of a rose that he had printed out on his computer.

ಠ_ಠ

25. Graceless95's love story is probably better than Twilight.

In middle school, a guy wrote me a note telling me that he was "one of the eternal" and he wanted to "gift" me and "make me his forever". Dude thought he was a vampire.

edit: Holy shit, I STILL HAVE THE NOTE. I fucking kept it.

edit: He didn't even spell my name right.

edit: HERE YOU GO: THE NOTE. He drew some weird symbol on the paper and had shit handwriting. Sorry if it's hard to read. Keep in mind that we were, like, 12.

Transcribed by a Redditor who can read vampire handwriting:

"I want to give you something, but only you would be able to say yes or no.

"I, The Vampire, REDACTED wants to take you, REDACTED, and turn you from human, to a [Lyro?]. I want to protect you with not just my body anymore, but with my soul, my heart, my very own life.

"Why you? I'm not sure but every single mistake, every single right has been because of you, REDACTED. Because ILOVE you! I care for you. I Need you.

"I WANT to die protecting you. In your arms. and if possible, with a smile. I want to be there for you. I want to be the shoulder you cry on when your sad. I want my strength to be your strength.

"No Sei (I don't know) Well, I think I do know, why. because when you laugh my wounds heal, when you smile my heart burns, every time you step close, my skin tingles. And with each step it worsens. I believe I've found my Soul Mate, but do you? probably no.

"You are my Savior. My death. I need you in a way that no other girl can satisfy. [If] you destroy my hunger for power with your sweet ringing voice."

26. Blythey probably added this dude to her block list, immediately.

new facebook friend request HELO I AM MIGEL I WANT SPEK ENGLISH WITH NICE GIRL YOUNG SEX FOR TIME AND WORDS WITH FACE. YOU NICE ENGLAND LADY YOU ME SEX.

27. The guy in SoulofWren's story can draw. But, he definitely shouldn't have drawn that.

I was sketching in my notepad during a class one day. The guy sitting next to me asked to see my notepad and sketched a full on anime sex scene between two girls. He was insulted that I wasn't impressed with his artistic talents.

28. Cholchi can't be bought.

I work in a high rise with a lot of banker-types. One day during lunch a guy starts chatting me up and asks if I want to go out with him. I say thanks, but I have a boyfriend. Without missing a beat he responds "Oh yeah? Does HE make $200k a year?"

So gross.

29. Sounds like a nice guy, Cranberry94. What's this "bout of stupidity" you talked about?

I was arrested in high school for a spontaneous bout of stupidity and as I got into the cop car I realized that there was a teenager doing a ride along with the cop. I didn't think much of it seeing as that I was, you know, pretty busy focusing on how much trouble I was going to be in.

A few days later, as I settled into my permanent-grounding, I got on Facebook. Lo and behold, I have a Facebook message. The boy doing the ride-along with the cop had written down my contact information and found me on Facebook just so that he could send me

"Hey Girl, I just wanted you to know that I hated arresting a woman as beautiful as you."

30. MittyMandi should've said yes to the first question.

I was walking down the street, in the middle of December, hands stuffed in my peacoat, walking behind a young man who looks pretty paranoid. He finally stops and asks,

"Do... Do you have a gun?"

I pull my hands out of my pocket and shrug. No, no gun.

"Oh. Do you have any weed?"

"Nope dude, sorry."

"Oh. Do you have a boyfriend?"

Priorities man, priorities.

Oh so thirsty.

Daddy blogger Matt Coyne (you may remember him from his viral Facebook post about traveling with a baby) had some fun while driving his partner Lyns crazy after she reluctantly returned to work after maternity leave, putting Coyne in charge of their son Charlie. On May 6, he posted a picture of his text conversation with Lyns over the day, as she tried in vain to get one serious response from him about how the baby was doing.

The text accompanying the photos reads:

Tough week. Charlie's mum's maternity leave ended. So the person in our house who prevents fires etc. returned to work.. Whilst I found myself looking after our little boy properly on my own..

Its true to say that as Lyns walked out the door that first morning there was quite a few tears, sobbing, and protest-soiling.. but, in my defence, by lunchtime I had calmed down a bit.

Anyway, to alleviate Lyns' concerns about leaving Charlie in the care of a f*ckwit, I promised to keep in touch...

He was kind enough to include pictures of Charlie with the updates, so that Lyns would know her young son was fine, while he was drinking beer, hanging out at a strip club, going skydiving, and being shot out of a cannon. Just a typical day with baby, no big deal. 

At least the photos provided Lyns with some evidence that the baby was not trapped in a well somewhere while daddy worked on Photoshop. Good grief.

On Saturday, the Early Years Foundation Stage shared a photo of one teacher’s weekend homework assignment for her 10 and 11-year-old students. The assignment, from Mrs. Thom of Huckleberry Primary School in Reading, England (god, that sounds charming), features a list of activities that will help prepare her students for their upcoming Year 6 SATs (not the SAT you're thinking of—this is a British assessment test for schoolchildren). 

J3 Homework for Monday 9th May

We are now in the last couple of days before SATS and it is vital you use your time this weekend wisely. This your homework for this weekend. Please complete as many of these activities as possible and tick to say they have been done.

• Go on a bike/ scooter ride
• Read a book
• Watch your favourite TV programme
• Smile
• Eat Haribo or ice-cream
• Spend time with people you love
• Laugh until your tummy hurts
• Go outside and enjoy the weather
• Go for a swim or a walk
• Spend time on your favourite hobby.
• Rest
• See friends
• Run until you just can't anymore
• Cook or make something
• Have more Haribo or ice-cream
• Play in your garden
• Do something you have never done before.

If you feel you have to, you may revise, BUT you can only do this for a maximum of one hour total.

REMEMBER—Mrs. Thom is in charge of worrying—you don't need to. You are all amazing and I couldn't be more proud of you.

HAVE A FABULOUS WEEKEND :)

The list consists of bike riding, eating ice cream, and even chilling with friends. Wait, that's not homework—that's just fun. Loads and loads of fun. Seriously, why was this even assigned? The kids probably would have done these things anyway.

It's not mentioned specifically, but the purpose of Mrs. Thom's awesome assignment was probably to help alleviate students' stress and anxiety surrounding the upcoming SATs. "REMEMBER- Mrs. Thom is in charge of worrying—you don't need to," she wrote.

Studying for the test is definitely not a cake walk; it’s stressful AF. In fact, a recent survey showed that 90% of children in England feel pressured to get a good score on the exam.

Many parents loved Mrs. T's idea. 

In the comments, one parent shared a similar letter.

Friday 6th May 2016

Dear 6 (and their parents/carers),

Thank you for all your hard work this year. Thank you for showing a good example to the rest of the children in school. Thank you for having a positive approach to learning and impressing us with your progress all year.

We are constantly amazed by the incredible people you are becoming. Your talents and skills, be it in gymnastics, dance, music, football, singing or any of the myriad of other skills you developing, impress us daily. Being a rounded, life-long learner is what truly counts, not the score you got during a week of tests.

Nest week is SATs week, the week you have been thinking about all year. You are all ready for these tests. You will do your best, because that is who you are!

We are all proud of every one of you. Whatever score these tests give you, know that you have worked hard to get it and that you have done everybody proud. We are only sorry that there aren't tests to score your humour, your personalities, your kindness, your positive attitude, and your resilience. We don't need a test to tell us how amazing you are, nor will this test determine how successful you will be in the future. It is one week of tests, based on your time at King Edwin. Show them what you are made of! Show off! You have done the hard bit—all the learning and work in the run up to this. You have this in the bag!

Thank you for being you. And thank you, parents/carers, for doing such a great job.

Yours sincerely,

All staff and Governors of King Edwin Primary School

Let's hope Mrs. Thom's students don't crack under the pressure to relax. 

Like a good friend, Redditor Tehcuda agreed to aid his buddy who requested help choosing photos for his dating profile. Like a really great friend, Tehcuda trolled his buddy and hid a little sloth in every single picture. If you can find the sloth in all five photos, then you are probably Tehcuda's friend's Tinderella.

Tehcuda explained how he duped his friend into allowing him to hide a bunch of sloths in the pictures. "Honestly I just bullshitted him and told him I know how to make the perfect profile. He can be gullible," Tehcuda wrote. 

"More specifically," Tehcuda said on Reddit, "he asked if I could "edit his photos" like fine tune them." In the end, aside from the sloths, Tehcuda only worked his photo skills on the photo of his friend holding the rose. 

At first, Tehcuda's friend had no idea what Tehcuda had done, until the post went big on Reddit and Tehcuda fessed up.

If you found all the sloths, then congrats on being this guy's Tinderella. If not, Tehcuda circled every sloth in the doctored pictures for those who need some help.

For those digging this guy's tattoos, he's ex-military and living in South Carolina. "In all honesty, hes the best wingman Ive ever met," Tehcuda wrote. "Incredibly charismatic and hilarious. "So if i found him a date on here Id simply be paying it forward. Taking applications now." 

As for Tehcuda, this him:

Let's be real, given his sloth-hiding skills, Tehcuda is coming off as way more of a catch than his friend. 

Mother's Day has come and gone, and although you probably scrolled through endless tributes to your friends' moms on social media this weekend, be prepared to scroll though even more—this time with famous people.

1. Amy Schumer used the hashtag #verytriggering on her Mother's Day post. How sweet.

It would seem that the new "call your mother" is "post something nice on social media about your mother," but after all she did for you, the least you can do is put up an old picture of the two of you on Instagram, right? Schumer and the rest of these celebrities thought so, too. You should probably still call her though.

2. Lady Gaga may have some input when it comes to her mom's hair color. 

3. Ellen Page paid tribute to her mother with a sweet photo montage.  

4. Bella Hadid makes it apparent where her and sister Gigi get their good looks from. 

5. Ariana Grande's picture is black and white, but isn't actually from too long ago. 

6. It looks like Vanessa Hudgens and her mom went to Sears to get this portrait done. 

7. Chloe Grace Moretz is rocking Miley Cyrus's signature pose in her baby pic.

8. Khloe Kardashian has enough nice things to say about her mom to make up for all the mean things that people usually say about her mom.

9. Not to be outdone, little brother Rob posted a picture of Kris and grandmother MJ.

10. Kim posted this picture of her and Kris in matching denim jump suits. You can decide whether their fashion choices have gotten better or worse since then.

11. Jennifer Lopez sings the song "Ain't Your Mama," but her mom is proud enough to say that she is J. Lo's mama on a t-shirt.

12. Puff Daddy posed for this picture with his Puff Mommy. 

13. Demi Lovato bragged about her mom's strength in this chubby-cheeked throwback. 

14. Hailey Baldwin may have a famous father, but she wanted to put her mom in the spotlight for Mother's Day. 

15. Designer Rachel Zoe's mom seems to be as glamorous as she is. 

16. Game of Thrones actor Lena Headey's mother seems to be a lot more caring than Queen Cersei is to her (remaining) children. 

17. Madonna's mother, also named Madonna, got the "respect and honor" of the caption, "Bitch She's Madonna."

18. Lorde calls her mom her partner in crime.

19. Lena Dunham's mother, artist Laurie Simmons, taught Lena some good manners and some bad words. 

20. And the Rock put up this picture of him with his mother when he was just a little pebble.  

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's apology-slash-hostage video to the people of Australia was Depp's least convincing acting performance ever, probably because it wasn't directed by Tim Burton. Promoting his latest movie, Alice Through the Looking Glass (produced by Tim Burton), Depp apologized for his apology, and joked about trying to kill them after the legal debacle. Ha ha ha.

Depp and Heard were in hot water Down Under for smuggling in their dogs, Pistol and Boo, into the country. Not only did the case draw attention to the importance of respecting biodiversity laws, it spawned hundred of jokes, including this hilarious parody from Stephen Colbert.

With the video so ripe for parody, of course Depp wanted to get in on the action himself.

John Legend celebrated Chrissy Teigen's first Mother's Day as a mother on Sunday with their new daughter, Luna. Luna, who was born in April, has naturally become a huge feature of their Instagram accounts. After becoming a mom, Chrissy has posted some makeup-free pics, and some that defy what happens to most women after pregnancy. This one is very simple, hopefully taken after Teigen enjoyed the common Mother's Day gift of sleeping late:

The couple also made some brunch at home for Mother's Day:

With all these pics of their baby and brunch, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are becoming a very normal couple on Instagram.

If they start gardening in their backyard any time soon, at this rate it looks like it'll make the Instagram, too. 

Canadian James O'Reilly and his wife were some of the 88,000 residents forced to evacuate Fort McMurray, Alberta in the face of massive wildfires last Tuesday. The couple escaped their home of 20 years just minutes before it was consumed by flames. They watched the disaster unfold remotely on the security system O'Reilly had set up on his iPhone, and the footage is both frightening and mesmerizing. 

As The Toronto Star reports, they weren't at home when they were given the mandatory evacuation orders, and had only minutes to pack and leave, sadly not enough time even to bring their pet fish.

Below is the dramatic footage James and his wife watched from their cars after making their hasty escape.

Still, O'Reilly managed to maintain some optimism. He told the Star: "We’re better than most. We made it through, and we have our camper, so we have a home on the road."

In a reversal of most inappropriate prom attire stories, Aniya Wolf wore an outfit to her Catholic school's prom that was deemed too modest. As a result, she was removed from the most overrated of teen experiences, ABC27 reported.

The Bishop McDevitt school in Pennsylvania—where Wolf has worn shirts and pants for years as part of a required uniform—decided at the last minute that Wolf's carefully-chosen tux didn't conform to the dress code, even though her mother had checked the school's requirements beforehand for this very reason.

Wolf's mom Carolyn told ABC27 that she received an email about the tuxedo shortly before prom. "I told them that I had read the dress code that was given to the students and I didn’t think that it precluded her from wearing a suit."

Wolf was like, "Whatever, this outfit is lit and I'm going to prom."

Alas, Wolf—who is an out lesbian and describes herself as masculine—wasn't allowed in. The school was serious enough about their dress code that the principal took Wolf by the arm and threatened to call the cops if she didn't leave. At that point, the teenager left to go home and write about the incident on Facebook.

Sadly, I was not admitted into the Prom . I was forced to leave. The principal threatened she would get the cops. What an experience. Lol they can't take my pride.

In her interview with ABC27, Wolf delicately pointed out the chosen attire of other young ladies.

“You know, a lot of girls’ dresses, I mean I’m not saying that all of them are this way, but they do show a lot of skin. I think I’m dressed pretty modestly," Wolf said. “I think my experience shouldn’t be any different than anyone else’s because of something I was born with."

Wolf's fellow students didn't give a crap that Wolf wanted to wear a suit, and have supported her throughout this prom-mare.

Wolf, in a tweet that proves her tastefulness goes beyond her choice in clothes, responded kindly to the reaction from students.

Now that Wolf's story is getting out there, more people are getting on the pro-tux train and pointing out how great she looked.

Raised emoji hands pretty much sum up Wolf's prom look.

The 1992 film A League of Their Own was based on a real-life baseball team, The Rockford Peaches, and on Sunday, both actresses from the film and a member of the original team reunited on the baseball diamond. The reunion took place in Bentonville, Arkansas, during a film festival co-founded by Geena Davis to champion diverse voices in media. There's no doubt that there was crying in baseball, and maybe even more waterworks than during Tom Hanks' minute-long pee. 

Present at the reunion game—now read this in your best Tom Hanks voice—were Davis, Megan Cavanagh (Marla Hooch), Anne Ramsey (Helen Haley), Tracy Reiner (Betty Spaghetti), Ann Cusack (Shirley Baker), Freddie Simpson (Ellen Sue Gotlander), and Patti Pelton (Marbleann Wilkenson).

They were joined by a real-life Peach, Gina Casey, who threw the first pitch. Gina/Geenas make the best Peaches.

Young fans came out to celebrate, wearing the OG uniform.

It was a sweet tribute to girl power, both in sports and on screen.

On Sunday, Briana Jungwirth posted a video to Instagram of her (almost) 4-month-old baby, whose dad is One Direction's Louis Tomlinson, and wished herself a Happy Mother's Day. In the post, the 24-year-old stylist is cooing to her baby son Freddie Reign and giving him kisses, just regular mom and baby stuff. He is a real baby, by the way, despite what some One Direction fans seem to think. That's absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent real human baby right there.

She captioned the post:

This past year has been the best and worst of my life. I was blessed with the most amazing gift- A beautiful baby boy that I grew inside of me for 9 months. On the other hand, I was scrutinized and harassed by thousands- which even included major media outlets whom all seemed to believe he wasn't real. I am beyond disgusted by it all. Being a new mom, I wanted to feel the joy and excitement and be able to share such a beautiful time of my life. For all of you who think doing this to myself and my innocent child is okay, you're highly mistaken. I also know that if it was said about you, you may not had the will power to hold back as much as I have. I will be strong enough to continue to embrace this journey, love my son endlessly and be kind to those who do not deserve it even if it's the last thing I'd like to do. Happy Mother's Day to myself. I'm proud to be Freddie's mommy.

This isn't the first time she's shared Instagrams of Freddie (like the one from four weeks ago, below) but some fans are convinced the baby isn't real. As she says in her caption, Jungwirth has been harassed online by these conspiracy theorists. Take one look at her Instagram page, and you will see people calling her a "liar" and fans arguing amongst themselves in her comments.

It's true that she and Tomlinson are not together anymore, but just because a relationship is over doesn't mean the baby isn't real. God, if only it were that easy.