Meet Paul Salo. He wants to do 9/11 again.

"If you doubt anything about 9/11," Salo begins in his video, "we want to blast this to smithereens." Nice choice of words. 

And you can help! All he needs $1.5M, and according to his Indiegogo page, he is already $187 there! He also swears "we are not a team of tin foil hats. Of [sic] truthers. We just want to see it."

Uh, this guy is definitely a truther.

"In this project we will recreate 9-11 to the best of our ability."

What that means is he wants to buy a 747, load it with jet fuel, and fly it into building at 500 miles an hour. He is even putting passports on the plane, because what if those are the key to the whole thing!?!?!?!

The only thing that is going to be different is that he will put GoPro cameras inside the building and the plane so they can see everything that happens. Let's just hope jet fuel doesn't also melt GoPros. 

A real go-getter, Salo already has a doomed building picked out. It exists in Thailand, and he is already in talks with their government about the project. 

Any differences between his experiment and 9/11, Salo theorizes, will prove 9/11 was an inside job. "If there's just a smoking hole in the building and nothing happens, you pretty much know [9/11] is a hoax. Because it's obvious right?"

Wow, this guy sounds like a real-life science man! So what are his qualifications? Per his crowdfunding page:

I've started several difficult projects in Asia including a real estate company in China: A headhunting company in Japan and sold $50-100 million institutional grade assets. 

Very vague. Almost as vague as the details to 9/11. COINCIDENCE???

Despite the fact that he has his own "website" (a Facebook page) at 911redux.com, which is basically just a landing spot for all the articles being written about him, the people of YouTube aren't really buying his scientific acumen. 

Anai Bendai says:

I suggested something like this in 2005 but realized it was totally pointless until you use an exact recreation of one of the WTC towers. You do realize this will only truly be a meaningful experiment if the building is the exact same height, composition, density, ambient temperature and so on of one of the original WTC's right? There are so many variables to consider here that it's just not feasible. Not just any old skyscraper will work - the ludicrous "pancake collapse" theory requires the weight of all 110...

Peter Konig sums up the situation more succinctly:

No one would put this much energy in if they didn't think someone put explosives in the WTC and covered it up. But dude, if someone wanted to cover up something as big as 9/11, your little vacation to Thailand isn't going to change that. 

Kids are tough, man. People expect you to put up with a whole lot with kids. Even new mom model Chrissy Tiegen can't even get away for a dinner without hearing about it. 

One substitute teacher had a lot to say when the regular teacher left behind a sheet a paper so the substitute could fill her in on what she missed. She missed a lot. 

Here's the timeline of how she describes just one day of substituting went:

8:30am: Jackson won't stop yelling "Peanuts." Janelle has spilt her milk and fruity pebbles, everyone won't stop laughing. I can see her about to explode. I fear for the safety of these children. 

9:15am: Dylan has started a dance party in the corner. At first it was just the boys. After Geneva joined it's taken over half the class. 

10am: The fart noises haven't stopped for 30 minutes. It started with a real fart. I suspect Hugo. 

Ugh. Poor Hugo. First that name, now this.

1pm: The decibel level has reached an unhealthy level. I've fashioned ear plugs out of broken crayons. Please let me survive this.

2pm: The end is in sight. I said the words "free time" and it was as if this room was hit by a bomb. 

3pm: They're gone, finally. I spent the second half of my day drafting my letter of resignation. The name Jasmin appears no less than 8 times.  

Wait! What the hell happened with Jasmin?!?

Having a hard day? At least you're probably not a week-old alpaca in a hole. This alpaca, from Govin’s Farm in Wisconsin, went missing for 24 hours before it was found, somehow, with its head sticking out of a hole and its body trapped under dirt and grass. Like a reverse ostrich. There are few things more heartbreakingly cute than its little whiny cries as the farmer digs it out:

The hole was likely created by a badger, and the young alpaca likely fell in while playing in the dirt. Luckily, its mom was around for a cuddly reunion after the baby alpaca emerged unharmed.

Launching a novel vagina-related product is a sure way to make a little bit of money, because you know that, at the very least, people will talk about it on the Internet (*cough golddildo cough*). So of course the excellent women at BuzzFeed's Ladylike tried Fur pube oil for a week. ("A week is the ideal length of time for experiments." — a BuzzFeed scientist, probably.) According to Fur's website, "Few things in life are certain, but pubic hair is one of them. Fur is the first line of products that cares for pubic hair and skin. Our products give your pubes a chance." So that's where we get the old phrase "nothing is certain in life except death, taxes, and pubic hair" from.

Ladylike's summation of pube oil? That it totally, definitely exists; and you can totally, definitely put it on your pubes.

Really, this video is mostly just a collection of quotes about how it's nice to take care of yourself and pay attention to public hair while admitting that the act of coating their pubes in oil every day for a week (or putting it on their armpits when they were out of deodorant, as if that makes sense) didn't really do much. A company trying to sell women a beauty product that doesn't really do anything? Shocking.

Dr. Luke, the music producer who somehow is still in a position of power despite being accused of sexual assault, keeping Kesha in a contract that Kesha's lawyer argued amounted to "slavery," and having basically every celebrity against him, is in the Kesha-related news again. And, unsurprisingly, he doesn't look great.

Dr. Luke's Sony imprint, Kemosabe, had given Kesha written permission to perform at the Billboard Music Awards on May 22. But when Kemosabe heard that Kesha was allegedly planning to address Dr. Luke's abuse and their contract dispute in the performance, the imprint rescinded their approval. 

In an Instagram post after the news broke, Kesha denied that she had planned to talk about anything of the sort in the performance:

The caption reads: 

I was very excited to perform a tribute to Bob Dylan by singing a cover of "It ain't me, babe" at the Billboard awards this year. I'm very sad and sorry to say I won't be allowed to do this. I just wanted to make very clear that this performance was about me honoring one of my favorite songwriters of all time and has never had anything at all to do with Dr. Luke. I was never going to use a picture of him, speak of him or allude to my legal situation in any way. I simply wanted to sing a song I love to honor an artist I have always looked up to. thank u all for the continued support.

Whether Kesha was going to talk about Dr. Luke or not, you know what makes a person look guilty af? Not letting their accuser speak. 

Kylie Jenner was at a photo shoot, if her Snaps are to be believed, when she let the world take a peak at her unvarnished face. It turns out, there is an adolescent underneath all the foundation and eyeshadow.

The pictures are about as makeup free as it gets for a K-J (Kardashian-Jenner. It's getting hard to type that whole thing out all the time). Cheeeck it out:

"When everyone's drawing on freckles but ur always covering yours," Jenner captioned her Snap. A close analysis of this Snap suggests that Jenner is pretty damn makeup free.

Maybe there's some BB cream on there, but otherwise, she's looking au naturale—well, girl clearly has semi-permanent lash extensions and chances are there's some residue eye makeup going on there. Then there are her lips, which is another topic. Still a lot less going on than what she normally sports on social media.

Jenner shared some more Snaps, because she's a Snap Queen. The freckles are still there:

OK, one last one:

These pictures might have you wondering "Who is Kylie Jenner?" because without all the crap she usually puts on her face, she almost looks like an 18-year-old. 

Exes Michael Sheen and Kate Beckinsale are on freakishly good terms that allow them to stand in the same room together. The former couple and Underworld co-stars took a picture with their 17-year-old daughter Lily Mo that looks eerily like one they took with a newborn Lily in 1999.

Everyone is still attractive. A little different-looking sure, but still a lovely fam that can chill despite the parents going their separate ways. Beckinsale recently separated from Len Wiseman, whom she married in 2004, the year after she divorced Sheen.

Twilight star Michael Sheen is currently with comedienne Sarah Silverman, with whom Beckinsale gets along quite well.

Thanksgiving must be so pretty and fun with this family.

Last month, model and new mom Chrissy Teigen gave birth, and then had the audacity to take a brief breather and go for dinner with her husband. People on the Internet criticized her for not being with her baby at that precise moment, not seeing the irony in the fact that they should probably be spending time with their children instead of commenting on Teigen's photos.

 Teigen discussed the incident on Good Morning America with Michael Strahan, a person not immune to controversy himself.

DILF John Legend defended his wife's dinner-eating and exposed the sexist double-standard in the Internet's shaming habits.

All of him loves all of her. 

Tuesday on Entertainment Tonight, Chrissy Teigen stopped by to talk about being a new mom and the unexpected challenges of motherhood, especially the amount of time she has to spend acting as a feeding machine for her baby/tiny milk vampire, Luna. 

"The feeding schedule surprised me a lot. You're kind of breastfeeding for, like, ten hours a day, total. They just use your for your milk and you just feel like you are just a cow, all day." Chrissy Teigen: model, wife, mom, sow.

The subject of Teigen's public "mommy-shaming" also came up. Last week, Teigen and husband John Legend dared to leave the house together for a date night, nine days after giving birth, and the internet collectively decided that she was a bad mother who smelled like fish and didn't love her baby. Because clearly that's what dinner out means.

She told ET, "It is hard when it turns to…people are grading you on your personal decisions. You just realize you'll never make everyone happy. . . I'm learning to let things roll off my back a bit easier. I have more important things going on now."

Exactly. Like feeding the robot "milk monster" she and Legend have created, who will probably grow up to be one half vocal chords and one half cheekbones.

Would it really be that great to win the lottery? Yes, of course it would be. You'd never have to worry about money again or work another day in your life. That is, if you played your cards right, instead of somehow blowing millions of dollars right away or getting yourself murdered. Here are some examples of people who won big but still lost.

1. Roger and Lana Griffiths, who won £1.8 million in a lottery in the U.K. in 2005.

The Griffiths bought a huge house with a massive kitchen in the English countryside, a Porsche and Lexus to park in front it, and enrolled their two daughters in a £10,000/year private school. (And Richard spent a fortune on recording an album with his old college rock band. Ugh.) Six years after the win, Lana kicked Roger out of the house when she found emails suggesting he was having an affair. A week later, he told Lana that due to overspending and bad investments, almost all of the money was gone. More than gone, actually, because Richard had used £700,000 as security against loans to bail out Lana's beauty spa business.

2. At age 19, Michael Carroll won the equivalent of $14 million.

Carroll was a petty thief who'd been out of jail; he had on an ankle monitor when he claimed his winnings. Four years after he won, he'd spent the money primarily on hookers and blow (as you do). After living in the woods for a while, he now bikes to work (he had his license revoked long ago) at a shortbread cookie factory. The one possession he bought with his winnings that he held on to: an Xbox.

3. Tonda Lynn Dickerson was working as a waitress at a Waffle House. That much is true. And even then she knew she'd find a much better place… when her winning numbers came through.

A regular named Edward Seward would frequently tip Tonda and two other waitresses with lottery tickets, all agreeing in theory if the waitresses ever won, they'd split the money three ways (and buy Edward a pickup truck). Well, one day in 1999 Tonda won the $9 million jackpot. She refused to share (or buy the truck) and she got sued. Tonda won in the courts (oral agreements are hard to enforce), but she couldn't beat karma (or the IRS). They stuck her with a massive penalty because, in setting up a family trust, she didn't realize that qualified as "gift" upon which she'd have to pay taxes to the tune of $700,000.

​4. This guy on Reddit won the lottery, and he didn't want to share either. But he's got a good reason for keeping his parents away from his $15 million.

I offered to pay off their mortgages and give them a little sum but that's not good enough once they found the total amount.

I don't feel like they are entitled to anything and I'm being as generous as I can be (which I never said to them, but retrospectively I guess it's implied). The conversation got ugly and When my mom said, "we raised you", I immediately thought about how both my parents didn't talk to me for 5yrs (ages 15-20), when they found out I was gay. And I almost failed highschool because of it. Is that raising someone?

5. Best day ever: winning the lottery. Worst day ever: being murdered the next day.

On July 19, 2012, Urooj Khan won $1 million in an Illinois lottery. On July 20, 2012, Khan was found dead. An investigation ruled the 46-year-old died of "natural causes," as 46-year-olds are so old and just drop dead a lot. A second investigation revealed that he'd died of an almost undetectable dose of cyanide poisoning. Surely these events are unrelated.​

6. Winning $735,000 in the lottery allowed Amanda Clayton to do what she wanted to do for the rest of her life, even if what she wanted to do was gross and/or illegal.

Shortly after winning nearly three-quarters of $1 million in a Michigan lottery, Clayton was arrested for fraud in early 2012—she was collecting state-funded health care and food stamps despite not really needing the handout. She was sentenced to nine months probation, a sentence that was shortened in October 2012 when Clayton was found dead of a drug overdose.​

7. Evelyn Adams won the lottery in 1985. And then again in 1986.

The New Jersey woman beat astronomical odds and amassed a total fortune of $5.4 million. But Adams fought some demons that ate up her lottery winnings: gambling and shopping. By the early 2000s, she was broke and living in a trailer.

8. Jack Whitaker won $315 million. Then he literally lost a whole bunch of it.

Already a millionaire construction company president when he won a multi-state jackpot in 2002, Whitaker spent all of his own money and all of the lottery money by 2006. He had a tendency to do dumb things, like leave $545,000 in cash in his car while he was inside a strip club. Even money that's near a strip club tends to disappear—it was stolen while he was making it rain.

9. Abraham Shakespeare won the name lottery, then the money lottery, and then he got nothing but tragedy.

Shakespeare won $30 million in a Florida lottery. In 2009, the 47-year-old was shot dead and then buried under a slab of concrete. The murderer: a woman named DeeDee Moore who police say "befriended" him after his good fortune.

Drake stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Tuesday and got scared half to death by Ellen. The actor from Degrassi: The Next Generation and occasional rapper was discussing his recent hosting appearance on Saturday Night Live. Ellen, who is actually known for scaring the hell out of her guests, got him real good.

Drake had just finished comparing intense memories of hosting SNL to Vietnam and his friendship/relationship status with Rihanna when he got played. They're just friends, but the photos say otherwise.

It would be all too easy to say that "Jump Man" jumped, so instead just say that someone "Started from the Bottom" of a box with a lot of "Energy."

It would scare anyone. That guy goes from "0 to 100" when he jumps out of the box.

Victoria's Secret model Candice Swanepoel is preparing to bring a beautiful human into the world with Hermann Nicoli, her partner of 11 years.

Thus far, the professionally pretty person has done a great job of keeping the public updated on her perfect bump, with bikini shots and the like. 27-year-old Swanepoel stripped down even further to share the gender of her baby, which is a boy but who cares because boobs.

"My Not so little boy," she captioned the pic of her growing bump.

There's even more boob going on than that time she wore a useless crochet bikini.

It's not even out of the womb yet and this baby is stupid gorgeous.

As it happens, Swanepoel is good friends with Behati Prinsloo, who is also with child. 

Clearly the two have been plotting how beautiful people can take over the world.

On Wednesday, Jared Leto and Beardless Drake were on Ellen, and because it takes at least three people to play the game, she had them both come out together to play "Never Have I Ever." Boy howdy, there doesn't seem to be a lot that Jared Leto hasn't done. Although that is not at all surprising.

Leto was the only one who'd ever gotten a full body wax, with the exception of DJ Twitch, who had to get one for Magic Mike XXL. They are brothers in wax forever now.

Ellen was nice enough to give Drake a hand on the "Never have I ever told a girl how I feel about her in a song" question.

It's a good thing the game doesn't involve drinking, or Leto might've woken up in a dumpster covered in hot sauce and dressed as a clown. Although he's probably already done that, too. 

A dad learned just how impressionable little kids are when he accidentally put his daughter on the path to becoming a vegan. When redditor Bubonis explained the reality behind a red color additive called cochineal, his daughter was, as you'll see, pretty bugged out (pun=foreshadowing).

"TIFU by telling my daughter about chochineal"

Technically this happened on Sunday but the effects are ongoing.

Occasionally when I make my daughter breakfast I'll put a drop of food coloring into whatever I'm making her, just to put a little silliness on the table — green scrambled eggs or blue milk, for example. On Sunday I gave her red milk and while she was eating breakfast she asked me where food coloring comes from, whether it was natural or artificial, etc. I answered as best as I could, using Wikipedia to fill in what I didn't know then remembered cochineal. I told her about it and she was reasonably grossed out. I assured her that her milk did not have cochineal in it but she suddenly decided she was full, so we wrapped up breakfast and that was that.

I didn't think anything of it until Monday afternoon when she came home from school. While unpacking her lunch bag there was some leftover rainbow tortellini, and some M&Ms were still in the bag. I asked her about it and she said she didn't want to eat anything with cochineal in it. A moment later I realized: she ate the plain and spinach tortellini but left the (red) tomato ones, and she left all the red M&Ms alone.

Now she inspects everything that's put on her plate and if there's even a fleck of red (even actual red foods like strawberries or tomatoes) she won't touch it until and unless I prove to her that there's no cochineal in it.

If you're confused, cochineal is an ingredient that helps dye food red. And it comes from bugs. According to Wired, it's not just any household pest, but actually a "scale insect" called the cochineal scale. Scale insects are "strange, tiny animals, often with no visible legs or antennae." So that's good.

The additive's naturally occurring, and its history as an ingredient in human food dates back hundreds of years to Central and South America. But obviously, that doesn't stop a kid from hearing that all important phrase: "You eatin' a bug."

Kudos to dad for serving his kid red milk. That sounds like an unbelievable way to eat cheerios. Not that his daughter will ever do it again. He followed up in the comments that he's explained all about how packaging will indicate what food actually has cochineal in it, but nothing works, he says. "If it's red, she's suspicious."

And you really can't blame her. Among other foods, cochineal apparently "provides color to sausage and artificial crab, as well as pink pastries... yogurts and juices" and even "lipsticks and blushes." It seems very possible this experience will wean her off all that.

Or, you know, it could just be a phase. But the red M&Ms will probably be her least favorite for life.

Jimmy Fallon and Miley Cyrus are two adults who act like children, though in different ways. Fallon lets out his inner child with kindergarten instrument sing-a-longs, and a variety of ludicrous games. Miley Cyrus is childlike in her general aesthetic and immaturity (shout out to her butterfly clips in this video). The two joined forces for a festival of nostrils and chins, a silly romp that will delight the child in you.

Next time, let's hope they take on this dude's look:

Donna Lang picked up a salad from the British supermarket Tesco and dove right into it because it was a ready-to-eat meal of lettuce. Unfortunately, Lang soon discovered that the salad took the whole "farm-to-table" trend a little too seriously. Lang managed to hold down whatever portion of the salad she did eat just long enough to take of video of her squirming meal.

So was this the high-protein salad bowl or what?

Lang clearly didn't mind the added flavor at first, as her video shows she made it through most of the salad. Then she spotted the game-changer.

Tesco was quick to agree that their meal was completely disgusting.

Nathan, that's asking too much of poor Lang, who recently ate from a bug-infested meal. Let her finish vomiting up every ounce of that salad before she gets back to you.

Blake Lively looked like an absolute dream on the red carpet at Cannes, but then had to turn it all into a damn nightmare with her passively racist comments. Lively posted this Instagram of herself with a quote from Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," which is perfectly acceptable to sing along to while at your high school prom, but definitely not okay to caption a picture of yourself with if you're a rich white lady.

Saying you have an LA face pretty much suggests a few things; that you are probably beautiful, have really great teeth, and are white (aka, you are Blake Lively). The phrase "Oakland booty" refers to booties attached to humans in Oakland, California, which has sizable Latino and black populations. People were mad that Lively, the most privileged of all the privileged, would use the bodies of women of color as a punchline. 

This isn't the first time Lively has upset the masses with what some consider racist behavior. She got married to her husband Ryan Reynolds at Boone Hall, an ex-slave plantation. She also published a fashion spread on her now-defunct Preserve lifestyle website with the title "Allure of Antebellum," which was supposed to evoke images of pre-Civil War Southern charm—not especially charming unless you completely ignore slavery.

This caption-controversy comes just days after Lively went on the record to say that Woody Allen is "empowering to women," which many took issue with considering the rape allegations against him. Blake, what is going on with you?!

Maybe Blake should get some advice from her social media savvy husband.

Mary Anne Noland, a 68-year-old grandmother from Richmond, Virginia, passed away on Sunday, May 15. But like any informed citizen, she wasn't going to let something as silly as dying prevent her from getting the last word. That's why her obituary in the Richmond Times-Dispatch contained one last timely dig at the current presumptive presidential candidates.

The obit begins:

NOLAND, Mary Anne Alfriend. Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland of Richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of God on Sunday, May 15, 2016, at the age of 68.

Despite what a savage dig that was (extra pointed coming from the recently departed), Noland's widower Jim told WWBT News it was not intended as a particular takedown of either current candidate. Rather, it was written by one of their sons as a tribute to Mary's feisty sense of humor.

RIP Mary Anne Noland. The electorate is worse off without her.