Jay Z has finally answered the desperate pleas of millions of Lemonade listeners and addressed his wife's smash album that essentially outs him for cheating. Jay Z appears in a re-mix of of the song "All the Way Up" from Fat Joe, Infared, Remy Ma, and French Montana, E! News reported.
"And then eventually you'll reference Becky, and the Internet will lose their shit and give us their money."
In the song, Jay drops the lyrics "You know you made it when the fact / Your marriage made it is worth millions / Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is / Survival of the littlest." The lemonade line is actually a quote from Guru in Gang Starr's "DWYCK" ("Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is/ I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis") which you can listen to here if you're interested.
Jay's all too brief mention of Lemonade doesn't quite hit the topic as much as most people would like. For example, there is no reference to Becky with the good hair, so people will have to keep speculating. Or give it up.
Jay's lines do, however, suggest that he and Bey are good. And it also hints towards the image of Jay and Bey laughing their way to the bank after cashing in on some carefully-orchestrated drama. Whatever, even if Becky doesn't exist, Lemonade is still fire.
Check out a sample of Jay's lyrics in the re-mix, which is only streaming on Tidal (ugh).
Wow. Jay Z has 21 Grammys. Bey, if you're keeping score, has 20. Though the Grammys haven't taken place again since Lemonade's release, so Beyoncé is probably looking at a few more awards.
Here's the un-remixed, Jay Z-free version of "All the Way Up."
Courtney Stodden is expecting her first child with Doug Hutchison, the 55-year-old man she has managed to stay married to for five whole years (since she was 16). 21-year-old Stodden has already begun documenting her pregnancy on Instagram. On May 24, she posted an image that is much less seductive than any other picture you'll find on her Instagram.
A photo posted by Courtney A Stodden (@courtneyastodden) on
Stodden is almost unrecognizable with so much of her youthful figure covered up. If you look underneath Stodden's green-tinged skin, there is still no hint of pregnancy glow. Just more green skin.
The pic is much more raw and unflattering than any makeup-free selfie the starlet has shared before.
During a conversation being recorded for BBC Radio 4's Mastertapes (in front of an audience with Simon Pegg, Brad Pitt, Martin Freeman, Paul Weller, and Noel Gallagher), Sir Paul McCartney talked to John Wilson about dealing with depression after the Beatles break-up in 1970. "It was very depressing. You were breaking from your life-long friends. We used to liken it to the army—we had been army buddies for a few years, and now you weren't going to see them again."
The depression led to drinking, which isn't really the best cure for that. So when McCartney's wife, Linda, told him "You gotta get it together, we gotta do something," they formed the band Wings. He explained:
People said to me, 'Get a big supergroup with loads of stars,' but for some mad reason I wanted to go back to square one and do it as we did in The Beatles. So people said, 'Well, Linda can't play keyboards', and it was true. But you know, we couldn't play guitar when we started. . . We knew Linda couldn't play, we knew we didn't know each other, but she learned. We had some funny experiences. Looking back on it, I'm really glad we did it.
In the interview, when the subject of Wings' general reception with critics arose, McCartney also conceded, according to The Telegraph, "We weren't very good" and "We were terrible." [Author's note: After several viewings, I don't hear the part where he says "We were terrible" but BBC and other outlets say it's there, so… maybe it happensin a part of the interview that wasn't filmed or included in the BBC clip. This post will be updated with any further information.]
Hey, Wings was a fun band. No one's saying they weren't fun. They just weren't very good. Paul McCartney saying that Wings wasn't very good is funny and sort of sad but most importantly, true. They had some hits, and, sure, Sir Paul knows a bit about music. And Paul and Linda McCartney were a great and much beloved couple. But they just weren't… a good band. And while some people will fight you to the death for saying that, the fact that McCartney himself has admitted it will lend some weight to your argument.
On the plus side, Wings are Alan Partridge's (Steve Coogan's most well-known character, a former talk show host who became a radio DJ) favorite band.
Wings - the band that the Beatles could have been!
This mother stopped traffic by breastfeeding her two young ones right in the middle of a busy street, but this is one instance of public breastfeeding that everyone can probably agree not to leave hundreds of angry comments about. Although public breastfeeding is a polarizing topic, the only people who could have gotten angry at this doe feeding her young are those maybe running late to work due to the unexpected delay. At least they had an interesting reason to give their bosses for their tardiness this time.
Look at her breastfeeding her hungry babies in public. So brave.
This picture was uploaded to Reddit by user adalab, and Redditors decided to go on an impressive run of deer-related puns.
Vlasvilneous posted this classic clip from The Simpsons that exhibits master pun-ery.
Tits really great that this Mom decided to say "buck it" and doe what she had to doe to feed her young.
Fitness blogger and newlywed Anna Victoria taught her Instagram followers and the Internet a lesson in angles. Many moms often try to tell their kids about the importance of good posture, and it turns out, they're right. Victoria shared an honest photo of her body when slouching, and it turns out that even if you have flat abs, at some point they don't look like abs.
You girls requested for me to share this after posting on snap last week. Picture on the left was taken one day before the wedding and the picture on the right was taken... 2 minutes after! Someone recently said to me that we all have our good angles and we all have our bad angles, so why do we let our bad angles carry so much more weight than our good angles? If you focus on how bad you look in the bad angles, at least focus on how good you look in the good ones too!!
When standing, Victoria is a fitness guru and bikini model, but when sitting, she does indeed have flesh. Just like humans!
A photo posted by Anna Victoria (@annavictoria) on
This isn't the first time Victoria and her stomach rolls have gone viral for keeping it real on Instagram. This past January, she shared a post-workout slouching selfie, which gave hope to people with skin on their midsections.
An anonymous and very clever woman posted pics to Imgur of a hilarious text exchange she had with a man. When he requested that she send some nudes, she instead sent an image to trick him. The best part is that he never figured it out. He was probably too excited at the thought that a woman was actually going to send him nudes.
She just kept sending him pics of a loading icon to make him think he was about to see her naked:
Frustrated, he asks for another, which she gladly sends:
The best part was him trying to troubleshoot the issue of pics not loading:
Hopefully, this guy wasted money on a new phone after wasting all that time attempting to get nude selfies.
A white administrator, according to Cosmopolitan, told high school senior Makalaya Zanders that an Ankara fabric dress would be "tacky for prom." Zanders's response was to wear the dress regardless and look like a total bombshell for prom night.
18-year-old Zanders told ABC that aside from looking amazing, her intention with her prom dress was to "empower young girls of color by showing them they're beautiful, too."
"I was told when I was younger that I was too dark, too this, too that," the Ohio teen said. "I didn't grow up with black Barbies besides Brandy. As a young girl, I thought I didn't fit that standard, traditional definition of beautiful."
Every little detail of Zanders' outfit was gorgeous, from her arm bracelet to her nails.
Thank you to everyone who gave me kind words on my prom dress. My date doesn't have social media so he's kinda nonchalant lol. The dress came after seeing the beautiful @jessnnecee wearing one similar to a ball. So being someone who loves our culture and African glamorous style , me and @indelible_dc decided to take the Ankara dress and put a twist on it. Little did I know it came out more beautiful, then I could've ever imagine!! My dress was to make a point. That African style is beautiful. That I am comfortable with my Melanin and roots. And finally that there's nothing like Black girl Magic
Here's the dress that model Jessica Chibueze wore and designer DeAndre Crenshaw used as the basis for Zanders' stunning prom outfit.
Kylie Jenner's new lip kits fell into bad standing with the Better Business Bureau after an alert was issued because consumers were receiving empty boxes when ordering the lip kits online. Some might consider this hilarious karma for anyone that buys a product in an attempt to look like Kylie Jenner, but people that received empty boxes assumed they were being ripped off by Kylie Cosmetics:
The real reason the lip kits are missing is that they're likely being stolen from the packaging before they're shipped. That's right, there's a black market for Kylie Jenner's black lipstick. It's probably the mafia, the Illuminati, or a Mexican cartel looking to expand beyond the drug trade and into the profitable world of Kardashians.
Anyone who has trouble with their Kylie Cosmetics shipment can check out the alert from the Better Business Bureau here, or you could save yourself $30 and rub shoe polish on your lips.
Despite some shipping trouble, other fans have received their lip kits and are wearing her new black lipstick (not really, but maybe):
Niall Horan of One Direction has a message for his fans: stop harassing me. The 22-year-old singer and musician took to his Twitter to address the abuse he says he gets from a certain group of "fans," who, by the sound of it, really don't seem like fans at all.
For the last two weeks I've been receiving messages off a group of fans, they have drowned my phone in messages, keeping me awake at night
He also mentions that this group of people had specifically targeted his three-year-old nephew, Theo. PS, Theo has his own Twitter account and is cuter than every member of One Direction combined.
And saying the worst things ever about my little nephew. Thank god I'm not the kind of person who thinks into stuff like this
But despite all of the hate and harassment, Niall wanted to tell his actual fans not to worry about him, but wanted to speak out about online hate and cyber bullying on behalf of everyone who is subjected to it.
Don't worry about me .im the most carefree , laid back person around. But I'm just signalling it, because this shite is happening to others
Even though many are angry that they have had the song "You Don't Know You're Beautiful" stuck in their heads since 2011, it is still no reason to harass someone. Either way, time to block their numbers, Niall.
Edison, who was born completely blind, seems a lot more at ease on the coaster than his seeing counterpart, probably because he could have been getting on the world's largest roller coaster or the world's smallest, but didn't have to deal with the anxiety of seeing it first. Edison relies heavily on his other senses, so hearing some kid say, "It's not that scary!" was probably also pretty reassuring as well.
Monday night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, after embarrassing the living hell out of Pink, Johnny Depp and his 37 skull rings talked about DogGate (yes, again), the scandal in which he and his dangerous criminal wife Amber Heard smuggled their Yorkshire Terriers, Pistol and Boo, into Australia (which sounds like the least interesting Ocean's Eleven imaginable).
After apologizing for kissing Jimmy Kimmel repeatedly on the mouth, Kimmel brought up Depp's recent apology to the Australian government. As part of their punishment, Depp and Heard made the now infamous "apology video" which has been parodied countless times. When asked by Kimmel if he'd watched the strangely somber apology after making it, Depp said, "No, because I didn't want to kill myself."
Depp and Heard apologized for sneaking dangerous teacup dogs… into Australia.
Barnaby Joyce, the Australian agriculture minister, had threatened to euthanize the dogs if they weren't removed from the country immediately. On Kimmel, Depp called Joyce "Barnaby Jones" and then remarked that he thinks Joyce "looks somehow like inbred with a tomato."
Well, Joyce aka Jones aka Tomato Man responded to Depp's comment at a press conference Monday morning:
I think I'm turning into Johnny Depp's Hannibal Lecter, aren't I? I'm inside his head, I'm pulling little strings and pulling little levers. Long after I've forgotten about Mr Depp, he's remembering me.
When asked to which vegetable (um, the tomato is a fruit, but whatever) he'd rather be compared, Joyce said, "Something sleek and sensitive, just like me." So…asparagus?
Amy Schumer, America's funniest, booziest sweetheart, has been on vacation in Hawaii, where she was snapped by paparazzi wearing a swimsuit in the ocean. Because she's, you know, in Hawaii. And that's what you do there. Go swimming, in a swimsuit. And, because the Internet can be a horrid, troll-filled place, people had all sorts of completely inappropriate things to say about about her figure. So Amy took that picture, posted it on her Instagram, and added a few words of her own.
I meant to write "good morning trolls!" I hope you find some joy in your lives today in a human interaction and not just in writing unkind things to a stranger you've never met who triggers something in you that makes you feel powerless and alone. This is how I look. I feel happy. I think I look strong and healthy and also like miss trunchbull from Matilda. Kisses!
She does look strong and healthy, and also like a normal person doing normal Hawaii things in Hawaii. So shut it, haters. Amy doesn't care.
Prom night comes with a lot of expectations. Movies and TV tell you it’s supposed to be the best night of your young life, but it’s also a night when people have really bad sex, often for the first time. That’s a lot of pressure, and some people, like these redditors, cracked under that pressure. The only memories they have from prom are these embarrassing and hilarious stories.
They're all gonna laugh at you!
1. If the phrase or concept of “keeping the smell from permeating” is part of your prom experience, like it was for B-NINE, it’s a foregone conclusion that it’s not going to be a stellar night.
I had to get my dress from a thrift shop (way before that was cool). It looked like a doily. Most of the night consisted of people asking me where I got my dress and me lying about where I got my dress. Oh, I also had to do my farm chores before going. I was shoveling cow shit with my hair in rollers with a shower cap on to hopefully keep the smell from permeating.
2. User ravyrndidn’t realize you’re supposed to play spin the bottle after prom, not before. And with an empty bottle.
Senior prom. My girlfriend, myself, and I think 3 or 4 pairs of other friends went to a very nice steakhouse in a neighboring city. One of our goofy friends at the table ordered something that came with fries and they brought a glass ketchup bottle to the table. At some point during the meal, my friend is goofing around, lays the ketchup bottle on its side, and says hey lets play spins the bottle. He spins the shit out of the ketchup bottle. He didn't close the bottle properly, resulting in the lid not being secured. So he spins the shit out of this bottle, the lid flies off, and ketchup splatters out all over the table creating 360 degrees of disaster.
3. So ilovepelicans apparently went to high school in the town from Footloose.
My date had family rules which prohibited a female dancing with a male, unless it was a family member. I didn't find out until numerous death glares form her and her friends. Once she finally told me, I quickly took my seat at the empty banquet table. I completely respected her family values. So I sat, and I watched all of my fellow classmates have the time of their lives.
Nope.
4. This story from a deleted user’s account starts with a bit about a seafood restaurant, so you can pretty much tell where it's going.
I went to my prom as part of a group and we went to a seafood restaurant beforehand. Well, apparently the fish didn't sit well with one of the ladies in my group. Unfortunately, whoever decided where our prom was held didn't think it would be a problem to have one single stall women's bathroom for an event that had about 200 teenage girls. So, I got to spend most of my prom night guarding the stall door from a bunch of drunk girls that all had to pee and then helping my friend try to clean puke and shit off her expensive dress.
5.TheWildTofuHunter went to prom with a Marine, and learned that love is a battlefield.
Senior year with my Marine (shitbird) then-boyfriend: * I paid for everything including flowers and dinner * I picked him up from the base 90 minutes away and drove him back * he wouldn't dance with me even once cause "it felt weird" and he didn't like the music, but got insulted when I danced with my male friends * he insulted my friends (???) * he went out with his friends afterwards to drink.
6. No, DiscardAndDisco, nobody “jokingly” pees on each other. And certainly not on prom night.
After prom, we went to a friend's house to hangout. It was him, his girlfriend (my BFF at the time). I slept on the couch while they did their thing. At around 6am, they came to get me for help. I guess they were so drunk that the intentionally sexually/jokingly peed all over each other and the bed, and were trying to use bug spray to clean. It was the epitome of a hot mess.
"A Night Underwater"
7. The theme of ObliviousTrollAccount’s prom was “An Enchanted Evening of Soccer Hooliganism.”
I head butted my prom date on the dance floor.
8. For bellamarx, meat is murder, and so is paying for it.
Went to a steakhouse (I'm vegetarian) with about 30 people I didnt know and had to wait for everyone's food to arrive before I could dig into my lettuce wedge. Arrived late to the actual prom and stood in line for pictures for an hour, danced to two songs and left. Oh, and I had to pay for everything cause my date got arrested a couple days prior.
9. User taytermuffin had a full service limo driver. In addition to taking them to the prom, he also offered casual racism, drunken antics, and a crab.
The limo driver was extremely late and when he arrived there was a HUGE scrape down the side of the entire limo. He said "damn Asian drivers" when he got out and indicated that he was late because he had side-swiped someone on the way to pick us up. We took pictures in front of the limo and used our bodies to cover up the giant scrape behind us. When we set off, we started looking around the limo and finding weird stuff. Half the seatbelts didn't work, we found glasses with lipstick stains on them, old luau party banners and supplies, and there was alcohol with a moldy cork floating in it. There shouldn't have even been alcohol in there, as we were all still in high school.
The driver made a bunch of wrong turns, ran over/hit curbs and kept having to double back. We drove to San Francisco and got to the restaurant we were eating at, which had fresh seafood. Like, aquariums of fish you could point to and they'd kill that one and cook it for you.
The limo driver tried to eat one of the live crabs as well. When we got out to go into the restaurant, that's when we saw the flask. It was sitting on the front passenger seat. Then we put two and two together, and realized the reason he hit a car earlier that day, kept making wrong turns, hitting/going over curbs and singing funny songs/trying to eat live seafood was because he was drunk.
ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE ACTUAL LIMO DRIVER.
10. User inclinedtothelie went to an “Alternative Prom,” and an “Alternative Prom” she got.
I didn't go to my high school prom, but went to an Alternative Prom my first year of college. The guy who asked me came out to me that night, then tried to make out with me, coerce me into a threesome, threw up and then left me to find a ride home... Not the best night ever.
11. At least teddythe3rd still woke up to a lady the morning after.
I went to senior prom with the girl that I was crushing on since freshman year. We had been to dances before so this was not a big deal. I wound up getting alcohol poisoning that night and woke up the next day in the hospital with my mother staring at me.
12. User wbollendorf was so worried about getting effed that he didn't get effed.
I almost lost my virginity in a threesome in the back of a minivan with my date and her friend. I backed out at the last minute because it dawned on me that if I got cum or any other miscellaneous bodily fluid on my tux rental, I'd have been fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudged.
13. And afterward Reaction_On_My_Nub had sex in the back of a virtual car.
I Skyped into my at-the-time-girlfriend's prom all the way across the country. Her friends passed around a laptop with my grainy face while I tried to convince myself that this was fun.
14. Classic sitcom prom, Arca9ine. You know, except for the weeping.
We went to prom in a really nice hummer limo. At the end of the night my boyfriend and I along with one other girl were the first to enter the limo. We were at the top of a hill and the transmission went. The limo started rolling down the hill and knocked down street signs and parking lot lights before slamming into a tree. If we didn't hit the tree we would've gone into a lake. The limo was totalled. Instead of having a romantic sleep over with my boyfriend I cried myself to sleep. Prom sucked.
Kate Haslam says she was breastfeeding her 19-month-old son, West, during his weekly toddler gym class at the Spring Valley YMCA in Limerick, PA, when she was asked by a female employee to leave the room. According to People, Haslam says she was approached: "And [the employee's] like, 'There's men in this class and they're very uncomfortable with you nursing in here.' And I said 'That's illegal, I'm allowed to nurse in here,' and she said 'No, you're not.'"
Haslam wrote about the incident on her Facebook page:
Today my son and I went to his gym class like we do every Monday morning at the Spring Valley YMCA in Limerick, PA. We have been members since January. This was our second session for this class. I sat on the balance beam against the wall. To my right are big storage shelves of toys and balls. I nursed my son. As we were finishing up two upper level management entered the room and approached us to tell me that I would need to nurse on the benches outside of the classroom as there were "men in this class that are uncomfortable." A friend asked if they had a dedicated nursing area and we were told no we could nurse in the locker room. The locker room that is full of men, women and children. I explained that and that I wouldn't be nursing my son in the bathroom and she said I wasn't to nurse in the class. I mentioned this was illegal and she argued with me that it wasn't illegal. The associate director was called to talk with me. He wasn't at work so he would call when he got in. I left and the teacher from the class texted asking me to turn around and come back. I came back and spoke with the teacher and associate director who looked up the law and found out that it is illegal to tell a nursing mother she must leave a room. He proceeded to tell me the YMCA would prefer we nurse with a cover or go into the locker room. When I mentioned the locker room was coed. I was told the YMCA has stalls with curtains and they prefer I nurse behind the curtain. He wants to make sure all his members are comfortable. I explained that as a nursing mother being told to cover up and be hidden away isn't making me comfortable and was against the law. The teacher and the associate director went back and forth telling me they can't make me but they prefer women to cover up or go to locker room over and over to make all members comfortable. I asked what happens at the pool when it is 100 degrees out. Was I supposed to use a cover and overheat my baby. I was told it was crowded so not a big deal there. I was also told they don't normally have this problem because moms don't nurse there. I said yes they absolutely do nurse at the YMCA. He then told me that women do in the lobby but they always have a cover. He knows because he has a big window that overlooks the lobby and can see they are covered. I honestly can't believe in 2016 at a family friendly facility of all places we are discriminating against women on how they choose to feed their child.
Later that afternoon, many women I shared my experience with at a nursing support group started leaving comments of disappointment on the YMCA Facebook page. In an effort to save face every comment was responded to with a copy and pasted apology that had the facts completely misrepresented. An apology written by the Regional Director, whom I never met nor spoken to in any way.
I have also in the mean time received two phone messages apologizing for the incident.
Quite frankly it's not enough.
Feel free to share. This is not acceptable and this stuff needs to stop.
The YMCA, however, says that's not quite what happened. Shaun Elliott, the president and CEO of Philadelphia Freedom Valley YMCA (who oversees the Spring Valley location), claims that Haslam was asked to move simply because kids wanted to use the balance beam she was sitting on while nursing. Haslam says that isn't true and that nobody mentioned anything about the balance beam to her. In her version of the story, the employee told her to go nurse her son in the locker room. "That's what's upsetting. It was just such a weird thing. I told [the employee] the locker room is coed. They said, 'Well, we have curtained areas.' "
Elliot told People, "The employee that made the approach thought she was being very respectful, asking her to move off the equipment so the class could continue. Certainly it's our intent to welcome women to breastfeed wherever they feel. To the extent that there's been a miscommunication or a misunderstanding, we certainly apologize, because we're all about family here."
As it turns out, other moms who were in the class say that Elliot's, not Haslam's, version of the story is actually the correct one. Kristy Simpson wrote on Facebook:
She was nursing on the balance beam and the little girl trying to use it could not get by her. She would not move. As a matter of fact, the little girl had to get off the beam to get around her and got back on. The mother looked very annoyed that the little girl was even over there trying to use the equipment while she nursed.
I witnessed this entire event. The staff observed her blocking the equipment and told her to relocate. Yes they did tell her to go outside on the bench or to the family locker room. I must say that neither of those places are comfortable for a nursing mom, and it would be nice if they had a place for nursing mothers to go. We do not all like to have our breasts fully exposed like she does.
Another mom, Hilary Jeannine, weighed in, too, agreeing with Simpson.
WOW, so much mama drama. Moms be throwin' some serious shade.
Last month, thieves broke into musician Shawn Wasabi's car and stole his Macbook, his hard drive with all his musical projects on it—and most importantly, a one-of-a-kind 64-button music pad custom-built for Wasabi called the Midi Fighter 64.
The literally unique instrument had become the calling card of his career making mash-ups and electronic music, and featured prominently in his greatest hits, such as "Marble Soda."
Although he never recovered the Midi Fighter 64 (despite much rallying on San Francisco social media), Wasabi remained undeterred. Now, the button-mashing maestro is back with his first new song since the setback, one he created on a pad with a measly 16 buttons. Appropriately titled "i lost all my eggs," this tune is actually much simpler than Wasabi's past creations (obviously) but in a way that moves from mash-ups to more original melodies.
He's not about to stop playing live just because of the setback, either. You can catch Wasabi live on June 9 in Brooklyn, NY.
Wine! It doesn't have a slogan, but there are so many it could choose from. For example, "Goes down smooth, makes karaoke easy," or "The Official Drink Of Civilization." What's not to love? In honor of National Wine Day, here are 21 tweets about wine that made us thirsty. Enjoy.
1.
It's National Wine Day today. Or, as I like to call it...'Wednesday'.
Beware: nightmares ahead. On Wednesday, May 25, 38-year-old Atthaporn Boonmakchuay was at home in Thailand, squatting over his household toilet when (okay, take a deep breath) a sharp pain alerted him to the fact that a huge python lurking in the toilet pipe had risen up to bite into the tip of penis and wouldn't let go.
Note: Women, even if you do not have a penis, you must realize that this is, for most men, an extremely bad and wildly unfavorable situation.
Unclear what exactly is going on here, but I'm sure it's fine.
Atthaporn began screaming for his wife as blood splattered all over the bathroom. Meanwhile, he continued to wrestle with the snake in an attempt to not lose his penis. He quickly came up with a plan—he yelled out for a rope, which he used to tie the12-foot snake's head to the ground. Then he passed out from blood loss.
Still got it!
It's not exactly clear how that plan worked, but apparently it did. Boonmakchuay was hospitalized, where he is in stable condition and definitely still has a penis. According to Bangpakong News, emergency services came and smashed the toilet with hammers to free the snake (still alive) from the pipes under the home.
The python was then reportedly released it into the wild, where it can try to get ahold of more outdoorsy penises. One day, maybe it'll achieve its dream of having a human penis of its own.
