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People shared cringe-inducing stories of the awkward ways they lost their virginity.

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Having sex for the first time (a.k.a. losing your virginity, to be coquettish about it) is a milestone in the life of any young man or woman. But it's a classic example of expectation vs. reality, in that most people expect it to be sweet, wonderful, romantic, and orgasm-making for both parties. But for these people on Reddit, at least, the reality of the experience was a bit more lackluster.

1. Wait, ThosePeaches, in the trunk of the car? Was there no backseat?

I lost mine when I was seventeen, in the trunk of my car, to a boy who only wanted to have sex because he was stoned and horny. It was in the middle of August so I basically fucked for the first time in a sauna. Then he laughed at me because I queefed.

2. Usedinpublic​ would've been done a lot sooner if Blanche had been up on screen because she's the sexxxy Golden Girl.

She wanted to wait until after prom like in the movies or something. She didnt want her mom to hear so she turned on golden girls to cover the sound. I lasted pretty long because Bea aurthur was starin over my shoulder.

3. This story from IamtheBiscuit isn't just the weirdest virginity loss story, it's probably the weirdest story on Reddit. Which is saying something.

I used to hang out with bums, freaks, and wierdos in the downtown area of my city. Took some friends and a girl that I'd been doing the 16yr old dance around the fact that I like you, down there to drink.

We end up running into this eccentric guy, tells us hes a vampire, spouts off weird ass shit, says he is 400+ yrs old, he looked to be mid 20s. Hes down to buy minors booze and we proceed to party.

As the night wears on he gets weirder and weirder. Shows us how to suck the life force out of someone, by sucking on said girl dance partner of mine.

We end getting a ride back to her place from the vampire, she's pretty drunk and invites him in (she never watched buffy, she doesn't know proper vampire etiquette). He goes full creeper, trying to make out with her, telling me we can have a three way.

I flip out, tell him to gtfo. Dude doesn't back down, I had to forcibly pull him off her bed and walk him out the door.

With the vampire vanquished I return to her room and she asks me to sleep with her, not in the sexy way. We wake up in the morning, I awkwardly say 'wanna have sex?' She said yes, I lasted a full minute.

4. Josh_Thompson lost his to that special someone who had always been there for him all along, providing comfort and good times. (Okay, spoiler alert, he ended up boning a couch.)

It was awkward at first, then she made a move and we started kissing. Then she went to the bathroom. When she came out she was completely naked. We started making out on the couch in the room. She undressed me and I put the condom on, she helped me get it in her at first and it felt pretty good. Warm and squishy, that condom really killed me. I just closed my eyes and tried not to finish, which I did almost immediately. I felt so good and I just started thrusting really hard and came. I looked down and apparently at some point I had slipped out and instead of continuing in her I had managed to stick my dick between the couch cushions under her. Right after when I realize I had literally just fucked the couch our eyes met and she had this look of such disappointment and confusion. We didn't hang out much the next day, then I never saw her again. TL;DR I ended up fucking a couch

5. And then after they finished, FLICK_YOUR_EYE skittled on out of there.

I was young and we had all just woken up from a party. My boyfriend at the time was really tired and boring me to all hell so for some reason I said I would sleep with him if he woke up. We went up to one of the rooms with all my friends downstairs. We were nervous and I was kind of giggly. Finally we lied down and started. Yeah, it hurt, but after a bit it felt good, and I was enjoying it. Now just as he was about to finish, he leans in really close to my ear, and very sensually whispers "taste the rainbow", and came....

6. Cool, this story from blankityblank_00 is almost exactly the same as how your parents met.

I was spending the weekends with a bunch of crazy bicycle punks in the desert. I had been hooking up with this girl for about a month. we were in a huge tent witha fire canon going of in the background with a half hour loop of the sax solo from george michaels' careless whisper. the next morning i couldnt find my underwear so i ran to the car where my clothes were butt naked and everyone high fived me at breakfast. still in love nearly 2 years later.

7. Tejanoheat weaves a tale straight out of Penthouse Forum, what with the cold ground, fear of pregnancy, trucks, and a dad.

It was on the ground outside my high school. I was sixteen. Anyways we had gone up there, on a day we didn't have class, to make out and wound up having sex. I was too scared to finish because I didnt have a condom and I'm pretty sure football had practice or something because a bunch of trucks drove by. It stopped when her dad called and said he was picking her up.

8. Even getting into a hammock is actually impossible, so big ups to isarealboy772's horny friend.

Not my experience, but one of my friends drunkenly lost his virginity in a hammock over a river. His abs were apparently sore for about 5 days after that... Apparently it was miserable trying to keep steady.

9. First Papsmeere got wood, and then he was almost destroyed by wood.

i introduced said GF to parents and ask my dad to drop us off at friends house cuz we were going camping that night, before he drops us off he goes to the store and buys me a box of condoms, that night we akwardly shared a sleeping bag and it took me about 5 minutes just to get it in, she was very tight. about 10 minutes into it my friends out side of the tent decided to start chopping down a tree, this tree just so happens to land on the tent that we were in. never got to finish that night.

10. So that means Fatoldguy had sex for the first time in…'69! [Everybody high five.]

During the first lunar landing, my long time girlfriend and I were on her couch watching the TV broadcast. Got bored and started making out. Watched until after Armstrong's exit from the lander and the famous "That's one small step for man" quote and then went to the bedroom and got it on. Makes it easy to remember the exact day.

11. This story from westsideasses would be racist if anybody else did the thing in the story that the guy did, and even then it's still a little racist but definitely weird.

I lost it to an Asian guy I dated and as he was about to come he yelled "activate SOY SAUCE" and I really wish I was kidding.

12. M0rg4nz remembers her salad days, losing her V-card in the sextastic fields of Hidden Valley.

Instead of a romantic 'I love you', he said, "Why does it smell like ranch in here?"

13. For Coogcheese, two is company, four is creeped out.

Front seat of a 1977 Delta 88. Those big bench seats were great. Kinda surprised the couple in the back seat though.

14. What kind of boy loses his virginity on a race car bed? If this story from bell1375 is any indication, the luckiestboy in town.

Well I lost mine on a race car bed ... He was 17 and his room was decked out with hot wheels..

15. At some point in this story from grave_r0bber, somebody most certainly said, "Say hello to my little friend!"

This one's kind of lame, but I was 18 and just starting college, so I put an ad on Craigslist saying I was a virgin looking to lose it. I'd heard all the stories so I didn't think anything would actually happen, but I guess I was desperate enough to try.

So a day or two later I see a reply that seems genuine. We email a bit, trade numbers, and she's real. She's a mom of 2 and 15 years older than I am, but she looks good so I'm definitely interested. The day we finally meet, she brings me to her place, takes me to her room to wait for her as she takes a quick shower. She turned the TV on to Scarface, so while I'm getting more and more nervous/turned on I'm also seeing Tony Montana's rise to power. She comes out and we have a good time, and to this day I can't watch Scarface without a bit of nostalgia.

16. And today her name is Mrs. flabbergastedmoments.

It lasted about 3-6 seconds. I then cried, and told her I loved her.


Confession

Pranksters place glasses on floor at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, become artists.

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Contemporary art is one of those things that some people are afraid to question, out of fear that they won't look cultured. Or they're downright confused and just go with the flow, which was likely the case with a group of visitors to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art that Twitter user @TJCruda snapped checking out a new addition to the museum. Check out the work, which is from artist TJ Khayatan and his friends, according to BuzzFeed.

"Untitled" is laden with meaning.

The proximity of the glasses—which allow man to see—to the dirt-ridden floor creates a haunting atmosphere that's heightened by the sterile surroundings.

People noticed this powerful artwork.

Some crept in close to the glasses for a good shot.

Others, no doubt, had poignant discussions about the meaning of life in front of these discarded glasses.

The artists reveled in their success.

Speaking for the art collective, Khayatan told BuzzFeed about the inspiration behind this piece: "We stumbled upon a stuffed animal on a gray blanket and questioned if this was really impressive to some of the nearby people." 

All right, let's carefully avoid a potential hate-fest on contemporary art and instead appreciate the simple genius of this prank, which arguably goes to show that simply because something is in a museum doesn't mean it's art. Use your own judgment when it comes to admiring masterpieces.

Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, and James Corden performed 'The Lion King' in a busy LA intersection.

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James Corden is best known for playing Paul Potts in a Britain's Got Talent biopic Carpool Karaoke, and Wednesday night, he took the musical action outside the vehicle and into the crosswalk. Presenting a high-stakes production of The Lion King in traffic, which as Rose Byrne says, combines "the thrill of live theatre and the thrill of death." Corden can't wait to be king.

The backstage intrigue is as dramatic as the show itself, with Corden getting competitive with his fellow schlubby dude, Seth Rogen.

For more crosswalk action, check out last year's production of Grease, starring a random car as Greased Lightning.

Now is a good time to revisit rumors that Amber Heard had cold feet before marrying Johnny Depp.

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Johnny Depp, sex symbol of the '80s-'10s, has split with Amber Heard, who, if you listen to the right sources, never even wanted to get married to Depp in the first place. The couple got together in 2012, then tied the knot in early 2015, much to the disappointment of Johnny Depp-Vanessa Paradis shippers. Prior to their marriage, Star reported in 2014 that then 27-year-old Heard was not keen on getting a ring.

Depp's pirate style third-wheeling with Heard and Depp in the fall 0f 2015.

"She cares about Johnny, but she’s a free spirit who never envisioned herself marrying anyone," a source told Star, according to IBTimes.

Another source has gotten in touch with People to assert that Heard wasn't keen on marrying Depp. "Before Amber met Johnny she was just a regular super cool hipster chick living with roommates who dated girls," the source said. Yeah, "super cool hipster chick" is definitely regular.

"At their [March 2014] engagement party she kind of got cold feet," the source insisted. "[S]he was just like what is this scene and what am I doing here? She kind of couldn't believe it was her life now." No longer is that her life, as Heard filed for divorce from the 52-year-old pirate.

The Ghostbusters crack up when Leslie Jones tells Ellen about her days as a Scientology telemarketer.

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While you might be more comfortable with all-male guests on Ellenthe new Ghostbusters hung out with DeGeneres for an all-female reboot. The ladies had interesting jobs before they were comedians and Paranormal Studies professionals, with Kristen Wiig having moonlighted as a pole dancer and Kate McKinnon as a professional umpire. Without a doubt the most interesting gig was Leslie Jones', who by the power of Xenu, worked as a telemarketer for the Church of Scientology. 

Ellen and her cast members absolutely lose it, sending their Thetan counts through the roof. Watch out, Scientologists. Leslie Jones is a Suppressive Person. 

Johnny Depp's family apparently hated Amber Heard before she ever filed for divorce.

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Well, it's happened. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are getting divorced. And as a nation mourns, details of their doomed union are starting to come out. Like the fact that apparently Depp's family absolutely hated Heard from the get-go. Heard filed for divorce just days after the death of Depp's mother, Betty Sue Palmer, who had moved in with them earlier this year. So in a way, it's almost like…Amber Heard killed Johnny Depp's mother. Right? 

Sources told TMZ that Depp's teenage kid, Lily Rose and Jack (whose mother is singer  Vanessa Paradis), as well as his two sisters AND his mother all openly "hated" Amber. Palmer reportedly told friends she thought Heard was using her son for his fame and money. Those same sources also said that Amber treated Johnny "like crap." Heard reportedly had "2 closed door sit-downs" with Palmer (who are they, the Corleones?) which both resulted in Palmer calling Heard a "terrible person." So that sounds like a good and healthy relationship all around. Really surprised the couple didn't last.

People claimed that Depp showed no signs of distress at Monday's premiere of Alice Through The Looking Glass (in which he reprises his role as The Mad Hatter). Clearly, they missed or are not counting the fact that Depp's band, Hollywood Vampires, featuring Alice Cooper and Joe Perry (clue number #1—he's in a band, and that band also includes Joe Perry), is touring this summer (clue number #2—they are touring) as a sign of distress. Definitely no signs of midlife crisis there.

Also, in case you missed it, there was no pre-nup. Because why wouldn't a marriage between a 52-year-old man and a woman 22 years younger than him, for whom he left his baby momma and partner of 14 years, work out?

It was so nice of Johnny to carry Amber's jewelry for her. It looks heavy.

It's okay to feel bad for Depp—his mom died and his lady's leaving him. But while you're feeling sad about him, remember to spare a few thoughts for Vanessa Paradis, the woman he never married, only to break up with, and marry someone else right afterwards. Although she's probably someplace laughing herself silly right now.

Emilia Clarke sang "MmmBop" in Dothraki. It's less catchy.

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Emilia Clarke, who plays Daenerys Targaryen on Game of Thrones, took off the blonde wig for a while and sat down with Seth Meyers to discuss the complex fictional language Dothraki, which she often speaks on the show. She also gave the audience a little taste of what Hanson's "MmmBop" would sound like in the fictional tongue. Let's just say you probably won't be pulling this one out at karaoke

Clarke seems to be a lot more fun-loving than the character she portrays on the series, as she plays pranks on fellow cast members and translates hit 90s songs into fake languages. Maybe Khaleesi would be silly and carefree too, but she's too busy winning back her kingdom and setting people on fire and stuff. 


Morning show anchors test vibrators on air. For once their inane giggling is justified.

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Twitter was abuzz in England when hosts of a popular morning show just could not handle vibrators. This Morning with Philip & Holly had a sex therapist on the show to discuss the latest innovations in masturbation, and the supposedly adult hosts just could not handle it. 

Like the audience at home, Philip and Holly just couldn't stop laughing. 

Trying to keep it together...
...and failing.

Being British, Holly refers to them as "bits and bobs," and tries to get in on the action with her own innuendo. 

There is hope for love: Patrick Dempsey and his wife Jillian Fink are back together after filing for divorce.

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This is either great news or terrible news according to your level of attraction to Patrick Dempsey. In January 2015, the former Grey's Anatomy star and his makeup artist wife, Jillian Fink, called it quits after fifteen years of marriage. Fink filed divorce citing "irreconcilable differences," but it looks like those differences are reconcilable after all, since Entertainment Tonight is reporting that the two are back together.

When the UK's ES Magazine asked McDreamy if he and Jillian were back together, he responded with, "Yeah, I think so." Well, Patrick better get a little more firm on that answer, because as of now, their divorce papers are still pending. At this point, Fink has the option of not moving forward with the divorce filing, and their case will be dismissed and they will live happily ever after and Derek will magically come back to life. That's how that works, right?

Article 3

A journey through Johnny Depp's exhausting love life stuffed with exes.

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Amber Heard has filed for divorce from Johnny Depp after a normal-length Hollywood marriage. While this may seem rough for Depp, don't worry about him. His past romantic history shows that this guy has no problem getting another lady. In fact, if Depp does have an issue when it comes to dating, it would be that he can never stay single. Ever since the young age of 20, Depp has been on a romantic marathon, going from one engagement to the next. That's understandable because dude has been a hot commodity ever since his career started.

1. Marriage # 1

Back in 1983, 20-year old Depp was an aspiring musician and non-pirate who married 25-year-old Lori Anne Allison, the sister of Depp's band member. Their marriage made it until 1985. Allison, a makeup artist, was apparently the one who helped launch Depp's acting career. She introduced Depp to Nicolas Cage, who helped him find fame with A Nightmare on Elm Street.

2. Celebrity actress #1.

The same year Depp bid adieu to his first wife, he set his sights on Sherilyn Fenn, who made an appearance on Depp's show 21 Jump Street. Fenn and Depp were so in love that Depp apparently disfigured his Platoon costume and wrote her name on his helmet.

They got serious and were engaged. After three and a half years, Depp moved on.

3. Celebrity actress #2.

File this one under "when did this happen and how did I miss it?" Depp and Dirty Dancing star Jennifer Grey got together in 1989. Then they were engaged. Then they weren't. All within the year. There's a pattern unfolding here: serious relationship immediately followed by serious relationship.

4. Celebrity actress #3.

Ultimte  '90s couple Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp got together in 1989, were engaged by 1990, wore a lot of '90s clothes that still inspires Tumblr, and then broke up in 1993. Johnny Depp made their love permanent with a tattoo to Winona, who was still a teen when they started dating and made Edward Scissorhands. That tattoo now reads "Wino Forever."

5. Celebrity actress #4

For a brief moment in 1993, Juliette Lewis and Johnny Depp, co-stars in What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, dated. And may have been engaged. Is there a difference between the two for Depp?

6. Celebrity actress #5. 

Finally, a woman Depp did not get engaged to. Depp and Ellen Barkin, who is nine years his senior and equally hot, dated for a rather short period in time in 1994. He had to make room for his next major relationship.

7. Model #1.

Another great '90s couple provided by Depp. Kate Moss and Depp stayed heroin chic together from 1994-1998. Were they engaged? Probably. 

8. Model #2.

Depp moves fast. In 1998, Depp began a 12-year relationship with musician/model/French-person Vanessa Paradis. Together, the couple had two kids: Lily-Rose and Jack. Lily-Rose is 16 and already a fashion darling.

Cannes by @gregwilliamsphotography 😈

A photo posted by Lily-Rose Depp (@lilyrose_depp) on

9. Celebrity actress #6/marriage #2.

We have arrived at the present. Proving many rumors to be true, Johnny Depp split up with Vanessa Paradis in 2012 and got serious with Amber Heard, his co-star in the 2011 film The Rum Diary. In 2014, they got engaged. In 2015 they got married. In 2016, 30-year-old Heard filed for divorce. 

So from 1983 to 2016, Depp married twice and was engaged at least four times, maybe more. OK, when spaced out over 33 years that doesn't sound as unusual. It does sound very exhausting though. Has this guy ever been single?

After Adele forgets her lyrics at a Lisbon concert, her foul-mouthed reaction will make you want to hug her.

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Professionally amazing songstress Adele was providing lucky humans with her soulful voice during a concert in Lisbon when Adele did a very sweet job of messing up her own lyrics. According to Cosmopolitan, Adele was attempting to sing "Million Years Ago," a song from her latest album that you might know every word to. Adele does too, she just had a brain fart.

"Shit wrong words. Shit shit shit," Adele said before she and the audience cracked up like they were old friends hanging out.

Here's a full video of Adele nailing the song on her first go last year.

Adele has quite the habit of making endearing mistakes at her concerts. Not too long ago in Manchester, Adele and her British accent were caught starting a song over because she's slipped up on the lyrics. The audience enjoyed it.

Aside from being fun moments, these instances of Adele forgetting her lyrics prove that she is not lip syncing and that her voice is really that good. In case you needed more proof.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian sue former bodyguard for $10 million after he claims Kanye got jealous.

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Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are reportedly threatening to sue their former bodyguard Steve Stanulis for $10 million for breaking his confidentiality agreement. Strangely enough, being trash-talked by a former employee isn't sitting well with normally even-tempered Kanye.

Some backstory: on May 2, Kanye West allegedly fired bodyguard Steve Stanulis right before he was supposed to take the couple to the annual Met Gala. On May 5, Stanulis (who was also a former cop and Chippendale's dancer) told the Daily News he was let go because Kanye thought he was flirting with Kim.

"I’m not having an affair with Kim Kardashian, I’m not f*cking Kim Kardashian, I’m not doing anything with Kim Kardashian. Kanye needs to chill out." Uh-oh. He also told the newspaper: "He’s the most condescending person I’ve ever met in my life. I’ve worked with a lot of people in his position and higher a lot less self-absorbed and more humble." UH-OH.

However, sources close to Kanye and Kim told TMZ that they didn't fire Stanulis—he was only a temp to begin with, hired to help them out before the Met Gala. They claim Kanye had no problem with Stanulis speaking to Kardashian, and that actually everything "went very smoothly."

It's not going smoothly now, though. According to TMZ, Kanye and Kim's lawyer sent a letter to Stanulis reminding him that he signed a confidentiality agreement stating that if he talked about the couple (or their family) at all, he'd be forced to pay $10 million. The lawyer is apparently offering Stanulis another option—a public apology to the family. The letter says he doesn't have to say he lied but he has to stop talking to the press.

There is zero chance that Kanye is jealous of Steve Stanulis.

TMZ's sources think Stanulis is only speaking to the press because he wants publicity, which may not be too much of a stretch; according to Stanulis' Twitter bio, he's "Creating exciting film & live-entertainment projects with Stanulis Productions & hosting my web series In The Life w/ Steve Stanulis." Hmm. Well, a public apology to the West/Kardashian/Jenner dynasty will certainly be entertaining.

11 awful senior pranks that backfired horribly on the punks who pulled them.

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Senior pranks are all good fun until somebody gets arrested or put in a hospital. A case of reckless senioritis combined with a horrid lack of foresight caused many of the teens on this list to have their diplomas traded in for felony charges. In many cases, innocent folks outside of the student body fell victim to these ill-advised pranks too. (If you ever encounter a high school custodian around graduation time, give them a warm hug). This list is a great resource for everything not to do for your senior sendoff.

1. Six students at Chopticon High School in Maryland were criminally charged after releasing 72,000 ladybugs into the school.

This prank quickly (and obviously) backfired, and the accused students were charged with "burglary, destruction of property, and disrupting school activities."

The ladybugs, which the students had ordered off the Internet, took seven employees over four hours to clean up. That is, they cleaned up as many as they could find, while the rest had escaped into the school's unreachable crannies. You can't blame the bugs for trying to stay in the school, given that the bug education system is so terrible.

It should be a given that good-natured pranks do not involve swarms of insects.

2. An allegedly smart 2015 graduate of Kansas' Blue Valley High School made the dumb move of giving a teacher a laxative-laced brownie.

Though the 'extra brown' brownies had originally been intended for a small group of juniors, the offending senior didn't expect that one of the unaware victims would give two of the confections to faculty member Neerav Shah.

To make this experience even more nerve-wracking for the poor teacher, Shah's medical history included a stroke and proneness to seizures, for which he'd been taking several medications. He explained how that only served to compound his fear after the bowel evacuative took effect, since "laxative is known to react adversely to his medications."

I was feeling very flushed and I didn't know if it was a psychosomatic thing or if there was a lot of laxative in the brownies.

The student, accompanied by their parent, did apologize to Shah, and was allowed to walk at graduation. The report did not mention whether the brownies at least tasted good.

3. A senior at redditor u/HEYdontIknowU's school gifted their principal with a farewell rabies shot after hurling mice into the middle of a cheerleading performance.

Someone threw a pillowcase with about 20 mice onto the basketball court during half-time when the cheerleaders were performing.

This was during the middle of winter and the mice were in someone's trunk. So they threw the bag and some mice fell out, but even the ones that fell out didn't move due to being left out in the cold. The principal got to them right away and started picking them up and putting them back in the pillowcase. One of the mice that he picked up bit him and he flung his hand instinctively to get it off and he launched it against the wall. The principal had to get a rabies shot as a result. The week after, many people got called down to the dean's office for interrogation, myself included.

Such a reckless waste of life. Now the parents of those mice will never get to see their children walk at graduation.

4. Police helped make this senior prank at New Jersey's Teaneck High School unforgettable by arresting 63 students for nothing.

This class of 2014 prank involved harmless acts like greasing door knobs and taping hot dogs to lockers, which apparently warranted intense police overreaction. As one student described, the arrested seniors "were treated like criminals, as if they killed somebody."

Though the cops originally reported that they had found "urine" and "extensive damage" done to school property, this turned out to be a bad prank in itself. The superintendent later said there was no evidence to back it up.

A female honor roll student who got put in cuffs explained:

I went, blew up some balloons and then I got arrested by the cops.

By charging my peers, they're destroying futures, they're destroying careers. I had a talk with one of my peers who wants to go into criminal justice, and he was arrested. How's that gonna look?

Students later held a rally to protest the fun police's actions, and hence learned the true meaning of Senior Spirit week.

5. Okay, well the class of 2015 at Sequoyah High School in Tennessee actually did piss everywhere. Plus, they decorated the halls with trash and dead animals.

Their 'prank,' used here in its loosest definition, involved "urinating on the walls," "plopping goldfish in the toilets," "dumping a dead possum on the hay-strewn floor," releasing crickets in the halls, covering computers in shaving cream, and "booby [trapping] doorways with marbles and baby oil."

The fallout?

•100 students banned from participating in graduation.
​•3 teachers filing for worker's compensation after falling and sustaining injuries in the prank's aftermath.
•The principal, Gary Cole (no, not this one), suspended with pay for "tacit approval" of the prank ahead of time.
•Two police officers suspended for their complicity in letting the students into the school and taking no action after the students grew out of control.
•Free dead possum!
•Any decisions that involve urine and roadkill should be thought about twice before brought to fruition.

6. Redditor u/Geoge-of-the-Jungle and his friend pulled a prank of epic proportions that only the custodians who had to clean it up saw… those poor, poor janitors.

My whole class got together to do a senior prank. The bright idea of the group was to an ABC day. HA big surprise. Me and my friend thought it was pretty lame, so we hid in the school on a friday and after everyone had left (he had a key to the school, was SGA president) we decided to do our own senior prank. Our headmaster's office, dean of students, secretary, and head of the upper school all had glass offices. Like 3 sides glass, one side cement block. We filled every single office to the ceiling with balloons. It seriously took us like 5 hours of blowing up balloons, just the 2 of us, to fill every office. I then proceeded to unload some motherfucking confetti down all the halls, fucking covering the floors. I mean there was god damn confetti everywhere. Then I got the bright idea to cover every door handle, every locker handle, all of the dry erase markers, erasers, pencil sharpeners, chair adjustment handles, pens, pencils, phones, literally everything and anything I could think of that anyone would have to touch.... in Vaseline. I probably went through 15 or 20 jars of that stuff, and I got EVERYTHING. So we get that all that done friday night and leave early early saturday morning, like 1-2 am. Monday morning rolls around and i expect to come to school and see chaos, or expect some assembly on how the senior class took it too far, or have it be cancelled, or just like anything major happen from our weekend shenanigans. But when I walked in, the headmaster shook my hand (like he does every morning, every student gets greeted first thing in the morning, it was private school) and acted like nothing had happened. Me and my friend both are like wtf is going on, wheres the chaos, wheres the who dun it? Apparently someone had come in Saturday, saw what the fuck kind of mess everything was, and the cleaning staff had to come in on the weekend and fucking clean the whole place. No big reveal to the school, no teachers said anything, no nothing, no confetti, no balloons, no vaseline, not a god damn thing happened. It was like stepping in to the twilight zone. So really, all we accomplished with our mischief was ruining the weekend for our cleaning staff. I still feel like a fucking asshole 10 years later.

7. Two seniors at South Iredell High School in North Carolina thought faking a bomb threat would be a good prank. Clearly, they weren't honor roll students.

School bomb threats just aren't the comedic fodder they used to be, and two girls found that out the hard way after being served a felony charge of "hoax by false bomb in a public building." 1700 students and faculty were evacuated after the girls zip-tied multiple alarm clocks together, spread them out inside unused lockers, and set each to go off a few minutes apart.

The father of one offending student knew about the prank ahead of time, and failed to realize this was a terrible, terrible idea.

I didn't think anything of it when she told me, I thought it was kind of funny, you know, have one go off every couple minutes something happen, teachers running everywhere to get them, but I guess the more I think about it now I guess it was kind of silly in today's world with all the bomb threats and everything, never thought about it that way.

Sometimes, father does not know best.

8. Redditor u/mattlitz96 shared his school's hilarious prank with watermelons that was quickly misconstrued as racist.

A kid in our facebook group suggested everyone bringing in 2 watermelons, so there would be like 700 water melons lying around the school. As a result, everyone and I mean everyone in our grade brought in 2+ watermelons, so our school was covered with watermelons. Also, our vice principal, who is black, thought that the prank was racist and hateful against him and asked every black kid in the school if the prank was racist.

9. Three class of 2011 seniors at Troy Buchanan High School in Missouri built a 12-foot pool in the commons area, causing $15,000 in damage and regret.

Members of the school's kitchen staff arrived to work at 6a.m. and found an overflowing pool where the school's commons area once was. According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Walmart-bought pool was built by three senior boys who'd snuck into the school in the wee hours of the night via a door they'd left unlocked at an awards assembly the evening before. The students also sprayed cooking oil on the floor around the pool to make this mess that much more difficult to clean up.

The charges against the students carried punishments of up to seven years in prison and a $5000 fine. If you're willing to get your degree through a prison education program, that's not a half-bad bargain.

10. A security guard at New Mexico's Los Lunas High School landed in the hospital after celebrating students got a little too crazy.

KRQE reported the hospitalization of a school guard who had an allergic reaction to the chemicals in a fire extinguisher one student had set off, though others alleged that it was actually a balloon filled with bug spray that sent the guard into emergency care. One senior explained:

We didn’t have that many pranks, but we were just running around the school, and it got a little crazy I guess.

By 'crazy' he means that just the day before, two students got suspended for riding horses around school property. Only in New Mexico (and maybe a lot of other states around that part of the country, actually).

11. A water balloon fight at Gulf Coast High School in Florida turned into a fist fight, which turned into police brutality.

After a student who was hit with a water balloon got into fisticuffs with another student, police officers tried breaking it up with pepper spray, subsequently hitting 21 other students in the process, all of whom had to be treated for exposure to the chemicals.

The Collier Sheriff's Department released a statement about the incident that essentially reads "move or get sprayed."

The deputy then deployed his capsicum in the direction of the student at the center of the violence. However, some students in the immediate area also felt the effects because of their proximity, an unfortunate consequence that resulted from their not obeying the deputy’s lawful commands to disperse.

Three students were arrested, and no fun was had by anyone. A truly bummer way to end one's primary education.


One lucky man got to follow the real Hodor into an elevator. You can guess what happened.

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There was a plot point in the last episode of Game of Thrones that has resulted in lots of fun memes, and a now legendary trolling of the actor Kristian Nairn who plays Hodor. It involves fun with the now famous origin of Hodor's name. If you haven't watched the latest episode yet, don't read ahead. 

The origin of Hodor involved some advanced warging, and the acceptance that time is a flat circle. So fans now know that Hodor got his name from saying "hold the door!" repeatedly when he was warged by Bran Stark as a young man. Now, people are having fun using that phrase in the real world:

Someone in my building is my hero #holdthedoor #hodor #gameofthrones #GoT

A photo posted by Amy Pass (@amylpass) on

Not #TooSoon is it? #HoldTheDoor #HoldDoor #Hodor #GameOfThrones

A photo posted by Hajj Malik el-Shabazz (@marlonmusique) on

And one fan got to use the meme on Kristian Nairn, AKA Hodor himself:

Yes, that's right. After a screening of the new Warcraft movie, YouTube user Turps (Mark Turpin) was able to scream "hold the door" as Nairn walked into an elevator. Was it staged? Are Turps and Nairn buddies in real life? Who cares, this is hilarious. 

Hopefully Nairn only has to be a good sport about hearing this phrase screamed at him for a few weeks, and not the rest of his life. Hodor.

Reddit is having lots of fun with an image of Harrison Ford hiding in a fridge.

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What is almost certainly a still from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skullbut cannot be verified because nobody wants to rewatch that movie—has surfaced on r/photoshopbattles. It features Harrison Ford in a "fridge," according to the original poster, but is it really a fridge? Have you ever seen a fridge that looks like that? 

Doesn't matter, it's probably a fridge. The real excitement came as Reddit took this scrunched up Ford and changed his scenery.

'He's my idol' 

A lost Harrison Ford finally finds himself.

An absolutely thrilling H. Ford.

He really stands out.

It was beauty killed the Ford. 

Don't hurt him, he looks scared.

Who you got? 

Smart money's on the raptors, of course. They raptors.

You might not know what's going on, but you can tell it's amusing.

Google Kyle Rayner if you must understand.

Did anybody see 'SE7EN'?

Spoilers!

No one will ever spot the fugitive 

Subtle.

 

A bully picked a fight with a smaller kid who does MMA. Guess how that went.

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On Wednesday, Facebook group We Love BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) posted a video of what at first looks like your typical school fight. A bully apparently starts picking on a (slightly) smaller kid. At first the kid doesn't seem to want to get involved, but he finally appeases the bully, takes off his backpack, and proceeds to kick the everloving shit out of his tormentor.

Kid getting picked on by a bully at school finally says enough. Please like our page >>> We love BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu)<<<

Posted by We love BJJ on Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The video already has over 8 million views and 65,000 likes on Facebook. No information on who or where these kids are now, other than the bully, who is clearly in a world of hurt.

After being pummeled, the bully begs someone to get his former target off him, because he was worried dude was going to break his arm. Please, do not break people's arms. Then the MMA kid's friends all gather around and congratulate him on being the new coolest kid in school.

As commenters pointed out, since the kid was clearly a trained fighter, he managed to get his point across (DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. ME.) without hurting the bully too much—unless you count his pride, which is gone baby gone.

Demi Lovato shares photo of enormous diamond ring to assure fans she's not engaged.

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On Wednesday, Demi Lovato wore a humongous diamond ring on her right ring finger to some press events. Of course, people immediately began to wonder if she had gotten engaged to her boyfriend of over six years, Wilmer Valderrama. But engagement and wedding rings are typically worn on the left hand, and anyway, she's not. So calm down.

She posted a picture of the ring on Snapchat to make that clear:

It's just a ring, people. A diamond one. On her ring finger.

After being together for so long (6 years is an eternity in Hollywood time), it's natural for people to speculate about whether or not the couple plans to get married. After all, their 13-year age gap isn't getting any smaller.

In February, the 23-year-old singer told Ellen, "I don’t see a ring … I wouldn’t mind if I saw one! There’s time for everything, you know. We’ve been together this long, and obviously I’m not going anywhere and vice versa."

All right—first of all, saying you're not going anywhere is no way to get a guy to propose. If you really want to get married, Demi, pack your bags and see how quickly that man pulls a ring out of his ass.

Have you heard about the delightfully evil Buzzy Cohen, Jeopardy champ?

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Buzzy Cohen, current reigningJeopardy!champ has a sort of... let's call it an "arrogant charm" that is really polarizing audiences and spicing up the classic trivia show. As of Thursday, Cohen is on day eight of his ongoing winning streak, boasting $147,803 in winnings so far. He also looks like (and acts like) an evil prep school villain, and you are likely to both be intrigued and outraged by him.

The Draco Malfoy of Jeopardy

He has impressive knowledge that keeps him in the game, but his trivia-knowing skills are definitely eclipsed by his giant ego. He even dares to troll legendary host Alex Trebek, leaving you to wonder, can he even do that?

His presence on the show has divided the Internet into two camps: those who love Buzzy and those who can't stand the guy.

He looks like a guy who would say, "You can't do that! My Dad is a lawyer!"

One person who really, really can't stand him even made a Twitter account about how much he hates the guy. Presumably, they also have a ton of spare time on their hands.

And some people have just as funny things to say about Buzzy as Buzzy has to say to Trebek.

Of course, Buzzy is good for more than just causing controversy and throwing shade. He is strategic with how he uses his money on the show, and employs his wealth of knowledge to crush the competition. Basically, he is good and he knows it.

Whether you are rooting for Buzzy to win or to fail, it looks like this Jeopardy! champ and his very circular glasses have definitely left their mark on the show. 

Maybe his villainous ways will be immortalized in an SNL sketch where Sean Connery and  Buzzy Cohen have an insult off? Now that would be good TV.

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