Oh, boy. Courtney Stodden, the 21-year-old wife of 56-year-old Doug "Eugene Victor Tooms from X-Files" Hutchison, spent her Memorial Day pregnant and dancing pool-side in a bikini and floppy hat. And of course she showed off that baby bump, which is still nowhere near as big as her breasts. Yes, she showed those off, too.

She captioned the short video, "Embracing these insane body changes with a smile lol."

Her bump seems to be looking a little…odd. Happy, definitely, but…strange. It could be the face she drew on it.

Stodden has been chronicling the ups and downs of her pregnancy on Instagram. This is an up part of the pregnancy; she posted one of the down parts last week.

But the mom-to-be looked happy as a clam in her latest video, while singing along to "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" and shimmying her boobs in the face of whoever was taking the video (presumably Hutchison, which must have made him happy). She's happy, he's happy, the baby's happy, everyone's happy.

Network TV shows—by design and in practice—are about the most innocuous entertainment in the world. There are so many levels of oversight to prevent anything offensive from making it onto the air. But once in a while, an offensive episode makes it to broadcast (or it becomes offensive in retrospect). And then it's not aired again for 20 years… or ever again.

1. Boy Meets World: the one where Cory and Topanga almost have sex.

Boy Meets World did okay when it aired on ABC in the early ‘90s, but it became a millennial touchstone because of endless reruns on the Disney Channel and ABC Family. One episode that never made it to the kid-centric cable networks was the fifth season prom episode, in which Cory and Shawn tried to get their dates to do what all teenage boys try to get their dates to do on prom night. (Sex. They wanted to have sex.)

2. Seinfeld: the one where Kramer burns a flag.

The second-most hated episode of Seinfeld (behind the finale) is the one that aired the week before. In “The Puerto Rican Day,” Kramer accidentally sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire—during New York City’s Puerto Rican Day parade—and then stomps on it to put out the flames. This, along with some scenes depicting Puerto Ricans as angry mobs, led to a concerted letter-writing complaint campaign to NBC. The episode never aired in summer repeats, and didn’t air in syndicated reruns until 2002.

3. The Simpsons: the one where they go to New York.

In the 1997 The Simpsons episode “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson,” the Simpsons go to New York and find it to be a bigger hellhole than their hometown of Springfield. They have to go because Barney stole Homer’s car and abandoned it in the Austin J. Tobin Plaza at the World Trade Center. After the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, the World Trade Center-heavy episode was pulled from reruns for as long as five years in some parts of the country. The episode still airs with some tasteful cuts, including when a guy in Tower One argues with a guy in Tower 2, who says, “They stick all the jerks in Tower One!”

4. Arthur: the one with Lance Armstrong.

Arthur is a sweet little show based on Marc Brown’s children’s books about an alternate world where everyone is aardvarks. They had versions of real-life celebrities, too, such as Vance Legstrong (voiced by Lance Armstrong) who shows a competition-shy Binky that having a strong character means doing your best and learning from failure. After it was discovered that Armstrong did his best by using illegal performance-enhancing drugs, this 2006 episode of Arthur was pulled from circulation.

5. Hawaii Five-O: the one where the woman dies of autoerotic asphyxiation.

In the second season of the original version of Hawaii Five-O, the cops investigate a woman who died after trying a yoga pose that looked a lot like autoerotic asphyxiation. It never aired again on CBS in reruns, and hasn’t made it onto the show’s DVD sets. The name of the episode strongly suggests autoerotic asphyxiation, too: “Bored, She Hung Herself.”

6. Too Close For Comfort: the one where rape is funny.

Too Close For Comfort was a generic '80s sitcom about a cartoonist (Ted Knight from The Mary Tyler Moore Show) and the craziness of his home life, including his two attractive daughters and a boarder/comic foil named Monroe (Jm. J Bullock). The 1985 episode "For Every Man There's Two Men" disappeared from the show’s syndication rerun package for more than two decades. Its premise: Monroe is kidnapped and raped (offscreen) by two women. Hilarious sitcom antics! Because men can’t be raped! Not only is that played for laughs, but the laugh track goes bananas when it’s revealed that Monroe’s attackers are not just women, but overweight women.

7. Married… With Children: the one where Al and Peg Bundy make a sex tape.

Presaging the Hulk Hogan v. Gawker lawsuit by 20 years, the 1989 Married…With Children episode “I’ll See You in Court” involves the Bundys and their neighbors Steve and Marcy suing a sleazy motel for recording their sexy times. (Al and Peg’s is a few seconds long, ha-ha, Steve and Marcy’s is hours long, ha-ha.) While crude sex humor was the whole point of Married… With Children, Fox did not allow this episode to air in primetime because it was more explicit that usual. While the show usually had some jokes about sex, this time it was the basis of the plot. It didn’t air in the U.S. until 2002, late at night on the FX Network (and with four lines cut out).

Good news for Derek Jeter...

He has become the most recent target of comedic icon and Twitter goddess, Bette Midler! So jealous. 

She's at it again, this time taking aim almost at random.

Why are you starting beef with Derek Jeter, Bette?  Are you mad you'll never get to be one of the recipients of his famous gift baskets? Or just amused that often those baskets included herpes? 

Unfortunately, it looks like Mr. Jeter isn't even on Twitter to defend himself, but if there is a Creator out there who loves us, hopefully this will end like Bette's Twitter tussle with Kim K, and Jeter will settle things with a nude selfie. 

Air travel is brutal for everyone, but especially parents. Whether their breast milk is being mishandled or they have to coax their kids into coping with being in a big tin can in the sky, travel sucks for parents, and people are usually assholes about it. The odd time that a stranger is actually kind to a kid on a plane can't help but go viral, and the latest story is no exception.

A mom submitted to Love What Matters her story of traveling with her toddler daughter, and meeting a man who didn't throw a fit when the kid did.

She writes:

I had such anxiety about her airborne tantrums. Once before, I had had a very rude man tell me to 'shut that child up before I do' when my very tired infant would not stop crying. I choked back tears as I ignored his comment and continued to try to soothe my baby. It had traumatized me a bit and I vowed to never fly again after that.

But here I was. However, this time was different. The first hour wasn't too bad, but the tiredness and restlessness came on quickly after that. Much to my relief, the man sitting directly next to us seemed patient when she began to whimper and whine. I worked diligently trying to divert an outburst. But it escalated. Hysterical crying. My heart raced as I tried to ignore any irritated stares and eye rolls and focused on soothing her.

But then the man sitting next to us did something I didn't expect. He told me with a smile, 'You're doing great, mom.' He then suggested I switch seats with my daughter so that he could sit next to her. I agreed. Then he pulled out his iPad to show her pictures of his grandchildren. He opened a game and showed her how to play it. He talked with me about his life and asked me about mine. He helped occupy my daughter and soothed her when she fussed. He was so patient and loving.

With help from the kind stranger, the time flew by, and it wasn't before long when they started to land.

Before I knew it, the 6 hour flight was coming to an end. We had survived. And the man helped me with my bags as I carried her off the plane. He walked us to the baggage claim where my parents greeted us. Then he said good-bye and quickly disappeared. I explained to my Mom with tears in my eyes what this man had done for us.

He didn't judge me. He didn't grow irritated when the screams and crying started. He didn't say something rude to me in a moment of irritability. He gracefully sacrificed his time and energy to help a distressed mother and child. He was understanding. He made our flight, not just bearable, but pleasant. I often think of him all these years later. It was the kindness of a stranger that got us through that day and I will always be thankful for him."

C​ommenters were very moved.

This is a great lesson. Not being an asshole to a kid on a plane not only takes some of the pressure of the parents, it makes the flight go by faster. Kids are a great way to keep you occupied if the movie selection is lackluster, and you didn't bring enough snacks.

Dreams only make sense while you're in them, as people who talk in their sleep helpfully illustrate. One woman recorded her boyfriend as he talked in his sleep about his visions of dinosaurs with plastic "sippycup heads," which confused him even in his dream state. "I don't even know if the bill on the sippycup are their eyes or a mouth?" he mummers, speaking for everyone.

He also wonders how they're able to drink so much. Um, good point?

Turner High School's Spanish teacher Andrew Ward knows how to make a consistent entrance. Each and every day, the Kansas City language instructor walks into the classroom with his arms wide open and greets his students with a warm "buenos dias!" As a gift, two of his senior students, Bella Gordillo and Taylor Rios, captured Ward's famous greetings on camera and compiled them into a montage that'll make you scream "buenos dias, Señor Ward" right back at your computer screen.

Ward's video description recognizes his need to change up the work wardrobe.

Last week two of my senior girls surprised me with this video montage. Every day I begin class with a robust, "Buenos dias!" I was unaware they were capturing my goofiness, until they stitched it all together and shared it with the class... I realized after watching this -- that I need to buy more shirts. #Spanish3#THSclassof2016

Rios explained to BuzzFeed News their decision to compile Ward's goofy but infectious antics.

I was like, why don’t we record it all fourth quarter and give it to him as a present at the end of the year? And Bella thought it was a great idea, so that’s how it happened.

He was laughing the whole time and smiling and thanking us.

He’s really cool. He’s one of those teachers that you can go talk to if you have problems.

He’s like a friend, kind of, but an adult version.

Keep doing you, Señor Ward.

While Kylie Jenner wasn't attending prom this year, she was there in spirit thanks to two young women who wore intricate homages to the 18-year-old lip queen. 

Instagrammer @daii.lynn's dress was a bit of a deep cut. She sported a slightly less flashy version of the Swarovski-covered gown Kylie wore to Kris's 60th birthday party in 2015, according to Teen Vogue. 

Another young lady wore a look inspired by Kylie's Balmain Met Gala dress.

There were some minor differences between Kylie's and Instagrammer @_____quaintrelle's dress, not that you'd notice given all the distractingly beautiful shiny-ness. 

@_____quaintrelle's dad lovingly made this dress from innumerable pieces of sparkling material.

Instead of walking down the stairs to show off her dress to her family, this high schooler revealed her outfit in a way worthy of a true prom queen. 

Both these ladies deserve crowns, or some free Kylie Jenner lip kits.

Kim Kardashian recently added her weight to her Snapchat story, as she documents her journey back to the size she was before she unleashed Kanye's offspring onto the world. It's a pretty bold move to share her weight publicly, but it's not surprising that she wants to be in shape, since she's a Kardashian, and because it means she'll secure more endorsement deals.

Speaking of endorsement deals, she has one with Atkins to promote the famous no-carb diet for helping her lose weight. So that explains why she publicly shares pics of herself on the scale. Here's her snap about the homestretch of her weight goal:

And here's a tweet in which she promoted Atkins just a few weeks after her son Saint was born:

It's much easier to share your weight on Snapchat when there's a briefcase full of Atkins money next to the scale. You do you, Kim.

Hands: they've made humanity what it is as a species, because not only do they let us use tools to hunt and build, they gave us far more important abilities to both lock the door and knock on it. Both of those skills are vital to avoid seeing things best left unseen. If you don't learn to knock, you'll end up observing some inexplicably weird and disturbing things behind closed doors, and then you're no better than the animals—kind of like these people.

Here are 19 stories culled from several differentRedditthreads from people who unintentionally proved that a much weirder world exists behind unlocked, unknocked-upon doors. 

1. StaypuftSlimer's story is probably the most NSFW one on this list.

I walked in on a friend and his mom doing... something? First let me explain that we were pretty good friends, and we had an open door policy (meaning come in if the door is unlocked, I didn't have to knock).

Anyway, they were both sitting on the couch, almost on top of each other, he had no shirt on and a blanket around his waist, so I couldn't tell if he was naked or not, but he got up with the blanket still around his waist and ran to his room, while his mom just stared at me.

I just turned around and left, to this day I have no idea what was going on (well a pretty good idea, but I hope I'm wrong.) The guy stopped talking to me pretty soon after that, and now I knock before entering someones house.

2. Bjb13's colleague will probably never stay at this hotel again.

Co-worker and I were on a business trip. He walked into his room and there was a business meeting going. His dirty clothes were strewn around the room as he had left them. The room was a suite with a conference table in it. The hotel had let someone use it without realizing it was his room. Needless to say they were very apologetic to him. Gave him a large fruit basket and comped his room for the week.​

Fortunately, the meeting didn't turn out like this:

3. This could be a great work perk for ReverendDS. If—he's into that sort of thing.

The CEO of the company hosting a BDSM Dungeon Party in one of our data centers.

4. Cargofast's puppy doesn't belong there.

My 3 month old blue heeler puppy on top of my fridge, howling because he couldn’t get down.

Im still trying to figure out how he got up there, I can sort of see a path he took but I did not think he could leap across a few of those gaps.

He does like to chase the cat though and she gets up there easily.

determination can accomplish anything, man...

5. TheKate_est will never see her dad the same way again.

Walked into the kitchen with the lights off to find my dad in his underwear slathering jelly on the cat while saying quietly "grape jelly, bitch."

And I wish I had made that up.

6. Din7's aunt definitely needs to purchase some nail clippers.

I walked in on my aunt biting her cousin's toenails when I was 9.

7. Whenever CaptainWonderbread sees LEGO toys, he will be reminded of this story.

I was probably 17/18 years old and walked in on my friend playing with legos. I was about to let him know I was there, but decided to stop and listen. It wasn't weird until I realized he was acting out what sounded like a very complicated semi-romantic gay relationship between two city workers with the little yellow helmets. They had OUR names. (Am not gay and as far as I know neither is he, but we don't talk anymore.)​

8. Furrrsurre's roommate is probably a Lannister.

In college I walked in on my roommate masturbating to what were clearly photo-shopped nudes of his sister.

9. OfficialRavenspire knows where batteries belong.

When I was staying in a hotel in Edmonton maybe 8 years ago, there was this elderly man sitting naked by the hot tub in the pool room eating what looked like spaghetti with his hands from a tupperware container, and dropping different batteries into the hot tub from a reusable grocery store bag was seemingly filled with them. After watching with morbid curiosity for a few minutes, the guy looked back at me and smiled, so I got the fuck out of there and told someone at the front desk.

10. This dude probably does the same "kawaii" thing.

My 30 year old male Asian boss staring at his reflection in the freezer doors and trying to do "kawaii" anime girl poses. Wtf dude.

11. Sugarpuddin broke her ties with Mr. Sugarpuddin after this happened.

At six months pregnant with my son I walked in on his dad and his dads roommate shaving a random girls vagina. It was 6:30am on a weekday. They swear cocaine wasn't involved.

12. Threlnari97's roommates have guilty feet.

Probably nothing drastic, but when I was at a summer program at my soon to be college, I walked into my dorm suite to see all my roommates dancing to Careless whisper.

EDIT: Original version i believe.

13. Famikon's simple possessions probably once belonged to Lucifer himself.

Lost my phone and keys at a house party around 4am, looked all over for them with no luck. Before leaving the house I decided to check the one room that had the door closed. I opened the door and there were 6 people sitting in a circle around a shoebox, they were doing a chant and wiggling their fingers at the box.

Inside the box: My phone and keys. They were blessing them.

14. The girl in Veos' story was probably one of those weird cult members in #13's house party.

I walked into my friends kitchen to see a girl sitting on the counter in the dark bending all the silverware.

15. TheSilverNoble is now a member of Fight Club.

At wrestling camp one night I went to the bottom floor of the dorms we were staying in because it had been kinda nice and quiet down there in the day and I wanted some of that.

Literally walked in on a fight club.

16. Primordial_soup's coaches may actually need to join Fight Club.

I played football at my high school for the last several years, and one day after practice I had to ask one of the coaches about equipment or something, so I enter the coaches' office (the door is open), and see them all furiously hitting a desk chair with baseball bats. I looked on in confusion for a few seconds and then left. I don't think they saw me.​

17. Despite all the Lannistery ways this could have gone, this guy ​became the world's best brother for bailing his sister out of a jam. 

I didn't exactly walk in, I was called in.

I was watching TV downstairs when I heard my 17 year old sister franticly calling for help from upstairs. When I got to her room the first thing I noticed was that she was naked, with one hand crammed up into her vag. The second thing I noticed were the tears running down her face. She had gotten her hand stuck somehow. The angle her wrist was at caused pain every time she tried to get her hand out. I actually had to press down on her shoulders so that she could get her wrist at a better angle and work her hand out.

Never had sex with her.

18. Big_red__man's story will remind you that all animals are weird and will help you forget about what happened in #17.

This one might be a little different because it has nothing to do with sex or people. I once walked in on my parrot and my dog in a very tense situation. My parrot was hanging off the outside of his cage as low as he could go with his wings spread and his beak open. He was performing what I would call an aggressive display. My dog was similarly posed with the hair on his back raised and he was snarling. As soon as I walked into the room my parrot saw me and he immediately snapped out of it. My dog turned around and saw me and also changed. The dog trotted over to me with his tail wagging and my parrot climbed back up to the top of his cage and said "hello" and whistled. Nope, they weren't doing anything at all. Everything is cool.

What I think was going on was this: My dog would "clean up" the floor around my parrots cage and sometimes my parrot would even call him and drop food when he came over. Other times my parrot would be a dick and climb down the outside of his cage and try to bite my dog. I know he got him at least a few times. I bet my dog got sick of that shit and it was time to take a stand. Only, I interrupted it.

TL;DR walked in as my parrot and dog were about to throw down.

19. This guy probably thought it was an aircraft carrier, but it might've been something else?

I walked into an empty classroom once to get some peace and quiet for studying, but then I saw there was a kid all alone in there standing at the white board drawing something. He got red-faced and ran out of the room as fast as he could, pushing past me and saying "sorry I'm so sorry oh my god". I looked at the white board and it was a very good drawing of an aircraft carrier. No idea why he drew it or why he was ashamed of drawing it.​

Like some sort of freaky optical illusion, maybe?

Lesson: knock on the door or lock the door before you knock boots with someone else.

If you've ever been sucked into the black hole of procrastination that is the website Reddit, you know how easy it is to spend many mindless hours clicking through the underbelly of the internet—but now your history on the site might come back to haunt you elsewhere. Reddit CEO Steve Huffman broke some unsettling news when he revealed that Reddit knows everything about you and your "dark secrets," and plans to use that knowledge to aim specific ads at you. Skip to the 8:18 if you want to hear Huffman talk about how he will turn your deep, dark secrets into targeting advertising. 

Our targeting will be different because, um, we know, we know all of your interests. You know? Not just your, you know, the interests you’re willing to declare publicly on Facebook, but you know, we know your dark secrets. we know everything.

Oh, we know. 

So what do the website's users think of all this? Honestly, they don't seem too concerned. 

So if you are really secretly are looking at some, um, "weird stuff" on Reddit, you might want to stop. Or, when all else fails, this is always an option (just remember to write "because my secrets are too dark" in the explanation): 

If you never quite mastered the complex art that is contouring, you can finally put down your many brushes and powders and liquids and give up, because the trend is officially extinct. Even Kim Kardashian, who popularized contouring through way too many selfies, has said that she is over the craze.

The hot new makeup trend is "non-touring," and as the punderful name suggests, it's not contouring. Marie Claire says this trend is going to be huge, and you should believe them, because they know a lot more about this kind of stuff than Someecards does.

Non-touring is all about "capturing the glow within" and featuring your bare skin with minimal makeup to cover it up, no matter how much you hate your complexion. Instead of creating shadows on the face with bronzers, non-touring uses just a few makeup items to create dewy-looking, natural skin, and a glow that will make you outshine a hundred pregnant ladies. Stars like Jennifer Lopez, Kendell Jenner and Gigi Hadid have already begun rocking the summer look, and so can you. Really. For once, there is a makeup trend that seems really easy and doable, no matter how much of a makeup idiot you are.

All it takes is three products: a primer, a tinted moisturizer, and a highlighter (the makeup kind, not the kind you put on paper—just making sure we're all on the same page.)

Step one: Take primer. Rub that stuff all over your face.

Step two: Take tinted moisturizer. Rub that stuff all over your face.

Step three: Take highlighter. Rub that stuff on the parts of your face where the light hits naturally, like the top of the cheekbones, under the brow bones, and along the bridge of your nose.

Step four: Look like a glamorous super model, take many selfies, and brag about how awesome you look.

Arnold Schwarzenegger went on safari in South Africa this week in hopes of finding animals stronger and/or wrinklier than himself. His trip did not disappoint, resulting in this incredibly dangerous elephant chase. As Arnold wrote in the video's description, "I couldn't have written this safari encounter better if it was a movie."

At first, the elephant circles the Jeep like he's considering buying it, but when they start to drive away, the elephant chases after them as though a building is going to blow up behind him. 

You can hear at least one person in the crew scream "Oh shit!" before the camera cuts out.

Per the Governator himself, "I'm absolutely in awe of these beautiful, strong animals, even though some of us had to change our pants after this."

:screech noise :

Ummm, what? More details please, Mr. RoboCop. Who peed their pants? WHO? Name names. 

"We need to stop killing them - take a photo, not a shot. Would you rather be able to experience these creatures or a hunk of ivory? I thought so," wrote Schwarzenegger, avoiding the question and probably confirming that it was he who peed himself.

The San Francisco home made famous as the exterior of the Tanner home in the Full House opening credits is officially up for sale. The listing price is $4.15 million for the Victorian "painted lady" at 1709 Broderick Street. It looks nothing like the sitcom set on the inside - it's actually quite fancy.

Here's the current exterior:

The front entrance does not open to a living room with a laugh track:

The living room does have two chairs facing each other for staring contests:

The kitchen lacks a back door, which means it's Kimmy Gibbler-proof.

The master bedroom looks normal...

...except that two chairs face the bed. WTF.

The backyard is not a good place for soccer or a dog named Comet:

Anyone with $4 million can soon have the privilege of an endless stream of tourists taking selfies in front of their house.

Nick Jonas is touring this summer, and judging by this casting announcement that Seventeen discovered, it's going to be a very bland tour. Bland as in white. White as in white people. White people as in a casting announcement that blatantly requests that only white women audition for a video that will play during Jonas's tour (although they can be slightly ethnic/tan).

Here are the key points of this casting announcement:

18-23 year old female models, mainly Caucasian or could have a bit of an ethnic flair, like Indian or South American. Ideal prototype is Emily Ratajkowski! We’re looking for girls that are that “Emily” type, super sexy, sensual, and GORGEOUS in a classic way and still a touch relatable. The kind of girls Nick Jonas would have a huge crush on, i.e., must be a knockout and have an incredible body. ... There will be some very VERY tasteful "suggested" nudity...but no visible private areas/parts will ever be shown/revealed. So, just suggestive and extremely elegant and tasteful. ALSO, as this is not a print job, but set to Nick's music, these models must be able to MOVE SENSUALLY and in a flirtatious way..."

OK, so the video calls for a young white girl who is maybe a little bit ethnic but classic looking, and also has a suggestive look that's tasteful. Is this a riddle?

For reference on what the video's producers are looking for, this is Emily Ratajkowski:

Ratajkowski is Irish-German-Polish, which means the London-born model is descended from Ireland, Germany, and Poland. Those countries are quite far away from India and South America, places where sensually tasteful women could pick up some "ethnic flair."

In short, what this casting announcement—which has been deleted—is trying to say is that the producers wanted some skinny white chicks with big boobs and maybe a nice tan.

The producers were right, though. That has historically been Jonas's type: Kate Hudson, Miley Cyrus, Olivia Culpo… you get the idea.

While plenty of teens are creating their own versions of celebrity dresses—whether they're rocking a version of Beyoncé's Givenchy Met Gala dress or a Kylie Jenner sparkle fest—but one student got to wear a celeb's actual dress. After reaching out to Jane the Virgin star Gina Rodriguez on Twitter back in January, Jessica Casanova of Buffalo, New York wore the very gown Rodriguez wore to the Golden Globes (and in which she accepted one) to the prom.

It all started with a tweet, like so many dreams do. Casanova tweeted at Rodriguez, who actually responded, which makes more sense than you'd think; after all, the Golden Globes event is basically prom for celebrities. In addition to being just a generous soul, Rodriguez probably wanted the dress to experience what a real ​prom is like. 

Rodriguez even sent her a good luck text and, being just an angel of a human, probably reminded her to drink responsibly.

Casanova went to the prom with her very own Michael (or her very Rafael, depending on which Jane the Virgin team you're on).

Ugly Naked Guy was one of the most famous characters to appear on Friends, even though he only appeared in two episodes and never showed his face.

In fact, the actor who played UNG was never credited at all. ​Todd Van Lulling, a staff writer at the Huffington Post, became obsessed with finding out who was cast in that role.

The process took over a year. Anyone else would have given up, considering how bleak the search became. These are the methods Van Luling went through to find out who Ugly Naked Guy was:

- Spoke with "Friends" casting director Leslie Litt. Nothing.

- Spoke with the casting agency Central Casting. Nothing.

- Spoke with one of the series creators, David Crane. When asked if he knew who UNG was, his response was, “Oh no, I don’t. I absolutely don’t.”

- Almost asked David Schwimmer (the only actor to appear with UNG) if he remembered who the actor was, but chickened out twice.

- Checked important crowdsourcing sites like Yahoo, Reddit, Youtube, and Angelfire. (Remember Angelfire? It was probably actually hot when those episodes aired.) Nothing.

- Reached out to every crew member on IMDB even remotely linked to those episodes. Almost all of them went nowhere, except for one line producer, Todd Stevens, who wrote him back this hopeful message:

Once the two Todds connected in a more private venue, the Friends producer opened the gates:

“Here’s what I remember,” Stevens, who was the line producer for the show at the time, told me. “It was an extra and we wanted it to fly under the radar because we didn’t want somebody, like, being Ugly Naked Guy.”

Then he went on to explain that he didn't remember the name or even the face of the guy, save a few details. A year had gone by at this point and Van Luling still had nothing, yet he pressed on. He...

- Attempted to hire a sketch artist to draw UNG based on Todd Stevens' terrible description. Nothing.

- Re-contacted Lesely Litt. Still nothing.

- Re-contacted Central Casting.... BINGO. Central Casting had good news for him, and repolied to his second inquiry with this email more than a year after his initial inquiry:

In the email, Jennifer Bender at Central Casting said she would ask UNG if he would be ok with connecting. He was.

“You want to let the world know who the real Ugly Naked Guy is, huh?” the actor asked Von Luling over the phone.

He did. This is the true face of Ugly Naked Guy:

His name is Jon Haugen, and he loved playing UNG. He told Van Luling:

I wasn’t really expecting them to call me back for me to do it again. It was the best time in my life. I was the man.

Yes, you were, Haugen. The big ugly naked man.

Everyone's seen at least one movie where an actor wears makeup to make them look decades older. Sometimes it works, other times they only succeed in making the actor look like a bunch of plastic melted onto their face. In his new supercut, "Old Age Makeup," Dominick Nero proves Hollywood is crappy when it comes to making people look old. But, sometimes the actors live up to their makeup artist's expectations and morph into the wrinkly but still good-looking person they pretended to be on screen. Compare these movie-old versions of actors with their actually aged selves decades later:

Most of these actors look much better than they did with a pile of old face covering up their features. A few of these were quite spot on: Marlon Brando, for instance.

The Godfather envisioned Marlon Brando's future self a little too well.

Dustin Hoffman has certainly done well for himself: his jowls have yet to reach his shoulders.

Which Michael J. Fox you prefer is probably a matter of taste, but at least he doesn't wear two ties.

A giant bow shaves 10 years off Sally Fields.

Robert De Niro is so happy with how he actually aged, he's crying.

Nero explained his supercut to the A.V. Club.

An intellectual film theorist would probably say a supercut like this is naturally fulfilling for the cinema community, because film itself is wholly concerned with time, and since filmmakers have only a fleeting control of the element of time within their canvases, comparing their projected futures to reality of time’s effect on people is somewhat a study on truthfulness in cinema overall (see Boyhood). But the satisfaction of watching this supercut is probably better explained by the fact that people look funny in wrinkly latex makeup and gray beards with neck fat.

Yes, the neck fat is what makes this supercut good. So much fake neck fat.