Barack Obama, huge Game of Thrones nerd and leader of the free world for the next eight months, made a PSA video for BuzzFeed telling folks how easy it is to vote. He explains that voting is a lot easier to do than many things, like playing "Operation" (which he sucks at) and stacking Cheerios (which he is really good at). Most importantly, voting is much easier than naming all the GoT characters that died, which he tries to do and is not too shabby at.
Hey, he seems to be going somewhat in chronological order. Impressive. If the video were longer, he probably could have named more.
President Obama definitely has a handle on the characters more than the casual fan, who usually identify the characters as "white beard guy," "other white beard guy," "Tom Snow," and "Ned! I know Ned."
The hilarious review reads, "I picked this book as a protest. I didn't think I'd actually GET it," a reference to the thousands of Brits who voted to leave the EU, only to find out that their votes actually mattered.
Tingle describes his man-on-coin masterpiece as follows:
When Alex learns that Britain has decided to leave the European Union, he’s shocked by just hold normal everything seems. But the calm doesn’t last as Alex is suddenly accosted by a giant living coin from the not so distant future.
In this horrific future where Britain has left the EU, four story busses lie strewn about the streets of London after a failed plan to cut costs, the Queen’s Guard have been replaced by flying reptiles with machine guns and the River Thames runs red with molten lava.
Now Alex and his handsome sentient pound must travel back to the past and sway the vote for European solidarity, by proving that all you need is love.
This erotic tale is 4,200 words of sizzling human on monetary unit action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies and living pound love.
Fancy a snog?
Rowling isn't the only one feeling the Tingle.
According to Vox, the work of literature includes such dialogue as, "Pound me, pound!" and "I want you to f*ck me ... just like we’ve all f*cked ourselves with this vote!"
The book is currently a No.1 bestseller in "Erotic Horror," so you can look forward to the inevitable Hollywood adaptation.
Brie Larson is about as down-to-earth as a Best Actress Oscar winner can get it. She proved this yet again on Monday by posting an Instagram starring a huge zit on her face. She even highlighted the zit by drawing a heart and a huge red arrow pointing towards it, and captioned the picture: "When you're stressing/obsessing over a zit so you put on too much zit cream before bed and wake up to giant dry spot but you gotta get your photo taken anyway."
See, even people as beautiful and rich and famous as Brie Larson, with all the best dermatologists and aestheticians at their service, still get the occasional zit at the age of 26. Her followers could relate, and told her so in their comments.
Other celebrities have bravely shared their flaws before:
i find this curious - two photos from today, one edited so my skin is perfect and one real. remember flaws are ok :-) pic.twitter.com/PuRhxt2u2O
It's nice for celebrities to be honest about stuff. True, they're so famous they get 24,000 likes on a picture of a pimple, but it's still a breath of fresh air to see what happens when someone skips the filters and the Photoshop…and stops being polite…and starts getting real…no, wait, that's the beginning of The Real World, never mind.
One thing that cell phone cameras are helpful with is the recording of strangers doing horrible (and conversely, wonderful) things to people and thinking they can get away with it, consequence-free. For example, this video taken by a woman named Azmina (she's using only her first name, due to concerns for her safety, because that's what it's like being a woman online in 2016) of a very intoxicated man who took it upon himself to randomly punch the crotch of a woman he found attractive and just keep walking, nbd. But she wasn't cool with that; she chased him down, and forced him to apologize, on camera.
Yesterday evening, I was walking down the street with my boyfriend in Fitzrovia and a man walked passed me and punched me in my vagina. I was shocked - and it took a moment for me to comprehend what had just happened – that I had just been violated and sexually assaulted in my city, in the middle of a street in Central London, just a few blocks from the celebrations of London Pride. I yelled at the guy to stop as he walked away and told him that he just sexually assaulted me and that it was NOT okay. He responded aggressively, telling me to f*** off, and he kept approaching my boyfriend and punching his fists in the air as if he wanted to start a fight. I didn’t know what to do. So I told him he wasn’t getting away with it and tried calling the police but it kept going to voicemail (note to self: sexual assault is an emergency, call 999 and not 101). All this while, the guy kept sauntering around the street, clearly not afraid of the consequences of his actions. I continued to try calling the police and we kept our eye on him and followed him from a safe distance. He told us to leave him alone, and at this point, I blew up and told him that he has no right to say that to me after grabbing my vagina in the middle of a street simply because he felt like he was entitled to my body. I continued to confront him and asked him why he did it, why felt like he could walk down the street and sexually assault me. Was it because he assumed there would be no consequences? That I would just remain silent and get over it? Was it because I was a young-ish woman? Because I am a brown skinned woman? Did he think it was okay because I was wearing heels? He responded that it was because ‘I was attractive and he was intoxicated’. I told him to take a guess as to what I do for a living, and informed him that I’m a Women’s Rights Campaigner at a well known human rights organization. When he realized I was seriously standing up for myself and had actually been calling the police he very quickly sobered up and began to apologize. He told me he had never done it before, that he was stupid, an idiot, and so sorry for what he had done, and that he will never do it again. How could I believe him I asked? Why should I just accept his apology and pretend this didn’t happen? I told him that he made me feel unsafe on the streets of the city I call home, in a public place, where all of us (women included, because you know, we are human too) should feel some basic form of protection. Despite profusely apologizing, he continued to antagonize me when he told me to not make such a big deal out of it. I responded that I would make a big deal out of it, that I have the right to make as big of a deal as I want when I have been so grossly violated in a public space, and I told him that my vagina still hurt from his assault. And so I told him that if he was serious about his apology then I wanted him to do it on video - and that he needed to say my name and apologize to me for his actions so I can show the world that sexual harassment is NEVER okay. I pulled out my iphone and took a video of the scumbag who actually said ‘I am really sorry for punching you in your crotch’. I don’t know why I decided to take a video, but it was probably because I wanted to use this experience to share this one incredibly simple message -- sexual harassment is never okay. I don’t care if you find me attractive and you just had 10 jager bombs, you do not get to act upon whatever entitled feelings our society has convinced you that you have over me because you are a man and I am a woman. And if you act upon those entitled feelings, there will be consequences. I want to find this guy, I want to make sure him and other men (or frankly anyone that thinks it is okay to harass someone on the basis of their gender, sexuality or gender identity) think twice before they act. Share this video. Shame this guy. Spread this message.
To sum up the post, here's what happened: on Saturday night, Azmina and her boyfriend were walking around London, not far from the Pride festivities, when some drunk rando punched her in the crotch and kept going. She ran after him, but he just told her to "fuck off." He approached her boyfriend waving his fists in the air like he was looking for a fight, but clearly he was way too intoxicated for that. They continued to follow the stranger, while trying to contact the police, and when they finally got to speak to him, here's what went down:
He told us to leave him alone, and at this point, I blew up and told him that he has no right to say that to me after grabbing my vagina in the middle of a street simply because he felt like he was entitled to my body. I continued to confront him and asked him why he did it, why felt like he could walk down the street and sexually assault me. Was it because he assumed there would be no consequences? That I would just remain silent and get over it? Was it because I was a young-ish woman? Because I am a brown skinned woman? Did he think it was okay because I was wearing heels? He responded that it was because ‘I was attractive and he was intoxicated’. I told him to take a guess as to what I do for a living, and informed him that I’m a Women’s Rights Campaigner at a well known human rights organization. When he realized I was seriously standing up for myself and had actually been calling the police he very quickly sobered up and began to apologize. He told me he had never done it before, that he was stupid, an idiot, and so sorry for what he had done, and that he will never do it again. How could I believe him I asked? Why should I just accept his apology and pretend this didn’t happen? I told him that he made me feel unsafe on the streets of the city I call home, in a public place, where all of us (women included, because you know, we are human too) should feel some basic form of protection. Despite profusely apologizing, he continued to antagonize me when he told me to not make such a big deal out of it. I responded that I would make a big deal out of it, that I have the right to make as big of a deal as I want when I have been so grossly violated in a public space, and I told him that my vagina still hurt from his assault. And so I told him that if he was serious about his apology then I wanted him to do it on video - and that he needed to say my name and apologize to me for his actions so I can show the world that sexual harassment is NEVER okay. I pulled out my iphone and took a video of the scumbag who actually said "I am really sorry for punching you in your crotch".
Dr. Pimple Popper got a new camera and a new patient today, a man who was ready to simply squeeze his gigantic cheek growth before he realized this was a job for a professional. Except for the fact that it required a small incision (alarmingly near the eye), and the fact that it was actually a cyst, this dude's zit was what youu imagine would happen if you could onlyjust do ithard enough. Like one of those cheap fireworks that makes a snake, a column erupts that no one who witnesses it will ever soon forget.
Comedian Chelsea Handler revealed in a personal essay for Playboythat her decision to have two abortions as a 16-year-old shaped her life into what it is today. Handler, who has starred in a bunch of shows with her name as the title including Chelsea Does, Chelsea Lately and most recently, Chelsea, talks about the importance of Roe v. Wadeand having access to safe and legal abortion.
In her essay for Playboy's "Freedom" issue, she wrote,
I was going through a very bad stage in my life. I hated my parents and I was having unprotected sex with my boyfriend, who was not someone I should’ve been having sex with in the first place, never mind unprotected sex. I wasn’t really playing with a full deck of cards, and when I got pregnant I just thought, Why not? I can have a baby. Maybe I’ll have twins and give them rhyming names! Of course, the idea that I would have a child and raise it by myself at that age, when I couldn’t even find my way home at night, was ridiculous.
Teenagers are so dumb.
She didn't just end up getting pregnant once that year. She got pregnant twice. Both times, her parents brought her to Planned Parenthood to get an abortion.
And I didn’t have just one abortion; I had two in the same year, impregnated by the same guy. I didn’t have the money the second time. I had to scrape together the $230 to pay Planned Parenthood, but it was a safe abortion. Getting unintentionally pregnant more than once is irresponsible, but it’s still necessary to make a thoughtful decision. We all make mistakes all the time. I happened to fuck up twice at the age of 16. I’m grateful that I came to my senses and was able to get an abortion legally without risking my health or bankrupting myself or my family. I’m 41 now. I don’t ever look back and think, God, I wish I’d had that baby.
A woman who doesn't want kids? MIND BLOWN.
Although Roe v. Wade is constantly being challenged, Handler says that she has no fears about abortion becoming illegal. She thinks the country is too progressive to be taking steps back at this point.
We’re too far ahead of the game. Once you go forward in history, you don’t go backward. That would be like the government saying, “Okay, we’re taking away your right to vote too.” You can’t introduce a black person and be like, “Oh, I just got a slave!” That era is over.
You can read Handler's entire essay for Playboy here, just make sure you clear your browser history after reading. Your partner will never buy the old "I was just reading an essay on Roe v. Wade!" excuse.
Becky with the Good Hair, Jay Z's mystery mistress Beyoncé sings about her song "Sorry" (it might be called "Sorry," but she ain't sorry) is all-but-confirmed to Rachel Roy. The designer posted an Instagram with a cryptic caption after the album's release, declaring, "Good hair don't care."
Just because you write "#nodramaqueens" doesn't mean you're not being a drama queen.
In her first interview since Lemonadegate, Roy taked about—what else?—her hair.
Somehow this hair wasn't enough for Jay.
Becky/Rachel broke down her regimen in beauty magazine Into the Gloss:
I only colored my hair once, and I regretted it. You really have to make a commitment to maintain it. At that point, I just wanted to know what I would look like as a light brunette, but it wasn’t a good look for me. Now I go to Tracey Cunningham for a gloss, to brighten it, and then someone at her salon Mèche cuts it.
On occasion, I do get oil treatments where they put oil on your scalp row by row and then massage you for 30 minutes. It’s amazing because my scalp gets dry. That’s why I only wash my hair about once a week. I’m a dry shampoo girl because of that. I can get a blowout to last me a whole week. If I get it styled, I like braids or a ponytail. I like it done really high and tight because it gives your face a little lift.
So basically, all it takes is some oil treatments and dry shampoo to eclipse Beyoncé for a hot sec.
As "the front page of the internet," Reddit has seen some crazy stuff. An open forum for anyone to dump whatever's on their mind (including photos of their dumps), it provides a panoramic view of the human experience in all its glory and awfulness. So for your schadenfreude fix, here are the five most depressing things we've ever read on Reddit.
You're not a bad person, you're just learning German.
1. At 7 years old, 7storiesup died during surgery, and experiencing death proved that we have nothing to look forward to.
When I was a kid I needed eye surgery a few times. The last time I, at 7, told the doctor I couldn't do it today because my asthma was acting up. The doctor ignored me and put under anesthesia regardless. I had an attack, as I fucking knew I would, while under anesthesia and my heart stopped.
I remember the anger at the doctor, and then feeling something soft on my hands upon waking up with absolutely nothing in between. I was blind when I woke up and don't remember when I regained the sight, maybe a day or two later. It may have also been really thick bandages with my eyes closed, I just remember not being able to see anything thus I latched onto the stuffie my sister or mom handed me.
It was like waking up from a deep sleep, the kind you get after a hard day at work in a nice comfy room. One moment you're just awake like someone pressed the start button on the controller that is your mind and body.
So, it doesn't hurt. The heart stopping must've hurt and the asthma attack, but actual death is painless. It isn't scary, though like all humans I do fear it. It also isn't some magical experience... you're just sleeping, except sometimes you can wake up from it, like I did, and sometimes you can't, like my daddy who died when I was a child.
It is sad though cause it's nothing... life is smelly and loud and busy and interesting and fun and colorful and death, death is absolute nothingness.
When you learn that both life and death are filled with vast nothingness.
2. FartingBob said the worst possible thing to a grieving ex, but at least he feels guilty about it.
The most awful, subhuman thing that i have ever said to anybody.
So me and my ex of 2 years had just moved into a flat together.
I find out on new years eve she was cheating on me with someone from her work. We break up, i have the shittiest month of my life, 6 months after my step dad walking out on my family to top off the depression, which led to me being demoted at work a few months later. Things were really fucking bad in fartingbobland.
2 months after this happened her dad had a nervous breakdown and committed suicide out of the blue, she was the one who found him. I was heartbroken as well, i got on really well with him.
2 months after that we had to talk because there was unpaid bills from the flat (we both moved out of it, forgot to pay the water bill). Of course we end up getting into an argument, both of us start saying things we probably shouldnt have.
She shouts at me that her new bf is a better boyfriend than i ever was and she was only sorry that i didnt walk in on them in the act.
4 months of angry, pain and frustration boil over and i scream in her face "WELL IM FUCKING GLAD YOU GOT TO WALK IN ON YOUR DAD!".
Pro tip redditers: When someone finds their parent dead in a pool of their own blood, it is not acceptable under any circumstance to shout that at them.
Hi, throw away account here. This happened about 2 years ago. My wife (Lets call her Rachel) and I like to take a trip to Vegas at least once every couple of years. We don't gamble much but love going to the shows and attractions. That year, her sister (Lets call her Jody) went through a nasty divorce and was depressed for a long time. My wife wanted her to come along on our next Vegas trip. I agreed and had no problem. When we were younger (Met my wife in college), her sister would tag along quite often. Whether it was off to a party or on a day trip, Jody was always cool to be around. Even though they are twins, I absolutely have no interest in her. Jody is more of a "party girl",self-fish and vein (She has plastic boobs). My wife is sweet, all natural, kind and self-less.
Fast forward to our trip to Vegas. We were all sharing a room (Double beds). After spending 4 days in Vegas, our last night, we decided to hit the casino down stairs. Jody and my wife decided to get wasted. They sit at the bar pretty much the whole time while I was hitting the blackjack tables. I ended up losing $200 bucks and decided to stop (Yeah i'm cheap).
Feeling like a loser, I decided to join them at the bar. After a few beers and shots, I completely forgot about my losses at the blackjack table. My wife and I head up first. Jody was at the bar talking to some guy. We wished her luck and headed up to our room.
By this time it was 2am and we start to stumble our way up to our room. We were pretty hammered as I had no idea where our room was. Luckily my wife found our room. Next thing you know, i'm face down on the bed out cold.
The calm before the storm.
A few moments later I awake in a dark room, drunk and horny. My wife was curled up against me. I didn't hear Jody come back and figured she was having fun with the bar guy. I thought it was a good time for sexy time. I start with my smooth moves by massaging my wifes back and taking off her panties. Shes definitely in the mood as her body is shifting and moaning. She starts to get into it by grabbing my junk. Thats all it took, and I was inside of her. I'm embarrassed to say but I only last about 2 minutes (Doesn't matter, had sex)
We cuddle and I start to fondle her boobs. I notice they were quite firm and almost balloon like. In my drunken state, I immediately froze. I realized I just fucked my wifes sister. About a few seconds later the lights turn on and my wife witnesses both myself and Jody naked. Shes screaming at the at the both of us. Jody wakes up and jumps out of bed. "What the fuck is going on??" "Uh, umm, I didn't.. uh umm" I couldn't muster anything.
Whats worse is when Jody stands up, my "package of contents" starts to come out of her. My wife starts to cry and runs out the room. Jody walks to the bathroom to clean herself up.
I hurry to get my clothes on to try to catch my wife. My wife was in the lobby area bench sobbing. I try to talk to her but shes not hearing me. We eventually get back to the room. Jody tries to talk to my wife and shes not listening to her either. I end up sleeping on the floor.
The next day my wife is already up and packed. We head back home and she still doesn't say a word to me until we get to our house. She finally talks to me the next day and tells me she needs time to think about things and she packed her stuff and left for her parents house.
Fast forward to today, we are separated. Jody and I talked about the incident and I apologized to her. Me and her are cool. Even though we haven't talked since that night, she forgave me.
tl;dr - Went to Vegas with my and sister. In a drunken state, accidentally had sex with the sister. Getting divorce finalized soon.
4. The couple in Keenedge422's story are such bad people, it's embarrassing to also be a person.
Acquaintance intentionally screwed with his wife's birth control to get her pregnant, because he figured the kid would keep her busy while he's sleeping around. Turns out he genuinely loves being a dad and said the kid is the best thing that has ever happened to him.
His wife was sleeping around when he did it and there's a 50% chance the kid isn't his.
5. While Juicethebrick's story has a happy ending, it features the worst possible wedding and the worst possible brother.
I thought my sister's wedding was. Her husband got black out drunk and they got into an argument. He passed out and she ended up throwing a bucket of ice water in his face to snap him out of it. She was devastated about it.
Happy ending: He made it up to her big time. Also, he felt very out of it, even the next day. Turns out he had traces of rohypnol in his system. His own brother roofied him in hopes he wouldn't marry my sister because he wanted their own friendship to remain the same.
My brother-in-law has disowned most of his family because of this and his brother just got out of a 4 year prison sentence.
In case it seemed like everyone in Game of Thrones had a private jet this season, show writer Bryan Cogman explained the thinking behind all those fast travel times. According to Cogman, this is because the various plots in different far-flung locations around the show are not necessarily occurring simultaneously, even if they take place within a single episode.
Oh, one thing since a few people have asked me. The timelines of the various story threads don't necessarily match up all the time.
On this season of the HBO show, Varys and Arya moved from Essos to Westeros like it was nothing within the span of a few episodes. In the finale, Varys even goes from Westeros all the way back to Essos to get on a ship back to Westeros within the span of a few scenes. Distance-wise, it's basically the equivalent of moving from Great Britain to Japan. Elsewhere, Jaime Lannister bounced quickly between the Riverlands and King's Landing, a trip that took him an entire season several years ago.
It's the problem with making your story a global epic—matching up the various timelines caused a huge delay in George R.R. Martin's release of A Dance With Dragons, since much of that book takes place on a completely different continent from the rest of the action. Perhaps as a result, a good chunk of that book involves Tyrion traveling very, very, very slowly to reach Queen Daenerys—a plotline that the show almost completely excised to get the duo together sooner. Probably a smart move.
Some celebrities hide their imperfections to the best of their abilities, using makeup, Instagram filters, and even (usually pretty poorly done) Photoshop to cover the things that society deems unattractive in a woman. But other celebs are completely comfortable with letting it all hang out—after all, we're all human, just sacks of skin filled with bones and organs, waiting to die. And a little cellulite never hurt anyone.
When you think about The Jonas Brothers, you probably think about this guy first:
Nick Jonas, who tours with Demi Lovato and is on TV sometimes.
Then maybe this one:
Joe Jonas, who sings that stupid "Cake by the Ocean" song.
But you probably have forgotten all about this JoBro.
Kevin Jonas, the least popular Jonas (probably because of his hairline).
Kevin, the eldest of the three, has mostly settled down since his boy band days, and is raising his two-year-old daughter Alena along side his wife, Danielle. Now the couple is expecting their second child, and like many people reproducing nowadays, they got creative with their gender reveal. They invited their family and friends (and all of the internet) to speculate about their unborn child's genitals using M&M's.
If you guessed that the newest Jonas edition is going to be born without nuts, you are correct! Can we stop talking about this baby's junk now?
Here is big-sister-to-be Alena holding a balloon, looking happy and completely unaware that her world will come crashing down once she is no longer an only child.
These stories from people who have rented out their home on AirBnB will make you very happy that the site exists—so that you can read these stories—but they may not convince you to take in strange guests. The Irish poet William Butler Yeats once said, "there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet." But if Yeats were alive in the time of AirBnB, he probably would have said, "Strangers are the devil, do not let them into your house."
How many stories about AirBnB do we need to read before we realize that "friends you haven't met yet" are just people who want to host BBW sex fetish parties in your apartment? Here are 10 such tales of weirdness, woe, and sometimes joy from hosts and guests sharing their experiences with the mostly-legal hospitality site on reddit.
1. Let's start off gently with billythefly90, who had a surprisingly pleasant experience with a guest.
2. After that heartwarming tale, let's dive straight into WeDaNorth's absolutely batshit story.
In an interview with Radio Times, Harry Potter, also known as Daniel Radcliffe, said the "circumstances would have to be pretty extraordinary" for him to play his most iconic role again.
More accurately, "Mayyybbeeeee!!"
As Harry Potter and the Cursed Childmakes its debut in London, it looks like the play's subsequent runs, if there are any, won't ever include Radcliffe. He's probably holding out to reprise the role in a Harry Potter movie that takes place in space.
Just kidding. But he did invoke a famous space character, and the actor who played him, in tempering his statement that he probably wouldn't play the Boy Who Lived again. "But then I am sure Harrison Ford said that with Han Solo and look what happened there!" A ton of money?
"So I am saying, 'No,' for now but leaving room to backtrack in the future."
These two, meanwhile, will take any job they can get.
As to whether Radcliffe will go see the new J.K. Rowling production, he told Stephen Colbert: "I want to see the show, I am genuinely intrigued and I hear it's fantastic."
But, he continued, he'll wait for a private showing. "I just feel like sitting in an audience that will, for the most part of the near future, be very enthusiastic Harry Potter fans might not be a... relaxing way to see a show."
For some reason, it's hard to picture a throng of cheering fans loving Daniel Radcliffe so exuberantly they disrupt a play. Unless you're Daniel Radcliffe. Then you imagine it all the time.
Sophie Simmons is a model who recently posted some Instagram pics in lingerie, comparing herself to a runway model. She did it in response to comments she received from modeling pictures she took for lingerie startup Adore Me. Sophie is the daughter of KISS bassist Gene Simmons and model Shannon Tweed. Luckily for her, she takes more after her mother, which is why she also gets to be a model. Unfortunately, being a model also means dealing with trolls in the comments of her Instagram posts.
She attracted trolls when she posted pics from her new lingerie modeling contract:
A photo posted by Sophie Tweed-Simmons (@sophietsimmons) on
That was a classy response, and there's no doubt Simmons has a classy booty. She posted another comparison shot and assured everyone that she's battling trolls for other women and for all booties:
Animals and news reports don't always go together well. For example, take this poor dude, just trying to do his job and get through the day, and here's this damn news reporter mucking about and talking about dressage and generally getting in the way of things.
OK actually it's not the reporter who's messing stuff up, it's the horse, who is a lovely combination of friendly, curious, and persistent. So very persistent. "HAY MISTER," is what he's probably saying, in his special horse language. "HAYYYYY, HAAAAAYYYYYY, me, pay attention to me, hay, I'm back here. Hay, what's this, your ear? What does it taste like? What's this, hair? What does that feel like? Hay, what's this thing you're talking into, can I try it? Hay. Hay! HAAAYYYYY." (Little known fact: when horses speak, they say "hay" instead of "hey" because they're horses).
Look, there's not a lot to do in that stall, and he doesn't get cable. Sometimes you have to make your own entertainment.
