A Florida woman stopped tourists in their tracks with a soulful rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. last week. Middle School assistant principal Star Swain (fitting name) belted out the national anthem in an impromptu performance while visiting the landmark with friends and family. Usually singing loudly in public places is super annoying, but Swain's voice is so incredible that she gets a pass.
Since it hit the web, the video has been viewed millions of times. Swain has reaped all the benefits of going viral, and has since appeared on Inside Edition, ABC News, and Good Morning America, making her an actually talented Chewbacca Mom. She thanked everyone for all their support the only way that seemed appropriate—with a song.
Yeah, at first Swain is all like:
And then she goes full-out Whitney and is like:
Amazing. Swain probably has many minor league baseball games to sing at in her near future.
After a few sleepless nights and interminable days, the world at large has finally learned what Tom Hiddleston's mother Diana thinks of his new girlfriend Taylor Swift, after they spent Saturday enjoying a planned photoshoot super casual and totally natural stroll on the beach. A Hiddleston family source told People:
Tom's mom is just gushing about Taylor. She thinks Taylor is the loveliest. She was so happy to meet her. . . Taylor was almost immediately part of the family. She was very easy to get to know and to speak with. Tom's family sees him as a big celebrity, but Taylor is clearly on another level.
Short of actually voting Tom out of the family and replacing him with Taylor, that's the most effusive response a mom could have. "Part of the family?" Whoa, pump the brakes a second, Diana. How serious are these two? They've barely been together a month (publicly, anyway). What kind of fairytale nonsense is this?
Another insider told People, "They were just trying to have as much normality as possible. They had the most normal family weekend you could possibly have." Indeed, they normaled the whole normal weekend away, just a normal family with a some normal, very wealthy, ridiculously famous members, normalling around England pip pip cheerio and what have you. It's like the paparazzi have never hounded and staked out anyone quite so "normal."
Today in the "Yeah, WE GET IT" department comes news of one Aaron Chervenak, who on May 20 married his smartphone in a Las Vegas chapel to prove a point about society's love affair with technology. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh (for eternity).
Chervenak explained:
We connect with our phones on so many emotional levels. We look to it for solace, to calm us down, to put us to sleep, to ease our minds. And to me, that's also what a relationship is about. So in a sense, my smartphone has been my longest relationship. That's why I decided to see what it was like to actually marry a phone.
First off, providing solace and putting you to sleep? That's not a romantic relationship, that's a parent. So maybe Chervenak's smartphone is his mom?
And second, turns out "what it's like to actually marry a phone" is three minutes of boring self-promotion. There. Saved you three minutes of smugness. How much do you want to bet this guy wears a "Why Be Normal?" t-shirt when he's not wearing a tuxedo and marrying mobile devices in a belabored "symbolic gesture."
He acknowledged that "it's not yet legal to marry smartphones" (maybe one day, buddy! Keep your fingers crossed!), but he hopes his wedding to his phone will act as a "symbolic gesture." So the marriage wasn't legally binding, but it sure looked official.
But hey, whatever floats your boat, right? It's not like you've never seen a particularly sexy printer and thought, "If I were just one iota lonelier…" But one does have to wonder if he knows how expensive divorce is. Or, assuming the marriage is never fully consummated, he can probably just have it annulled.
Khloé Kardashian celebrated her 32nd birthday on June 27, and she hosted her party at arcade superstore Dave & Buster's, a cool, hipster-y thing for an adult to do. Rather than focus on getting enough tickets to win a stuffed animal or Homer Simpson ice cube tray, the family took the opportunity to remind everyone that they have butts, sensuously treating every ride like a mechanical bull.
It's hard to believe that with all the time spent taking pictures they actually got a chance to play any games, and that's probably exactly how Khloé wanted to spend her birthday.
While Taylor Swift's post-Calvin Harris romance with Tom Hiddleston has been very public (she ain't keeping her romance *Loki*), Harris has been building up to his attempt to win the breakup. Rather than just focus on one movie star, the Scottish DJ set sail with a whole group of models.
A photo posted by Calvin Harris' Snapchat (@calvinharris.snapchat) on
Harris captioned the selfie "I write songs," which is probably what he told the models to get them on the boat (Side bar: Does DJing count as songwriting? I guess if he writes his own beats).
He posted a party pic with his friend Emil Nava, and they look particularly frat.
In an example of narcissism coming full circle, on Tuesday Paris Hilton"liked" a meme on Instagram of her head photoshopped onto a body in Kanye West's "Famous" video, with the text "I made his bitch famous."
A photo posted by 👑Prince Mattia👑 (@littlehiltonboy) on
So, for anyone not familiar with the celebrity family tree, it goes like this: In the beginning, there was Richard Hilton. And Richard Hilton had money and daughters, and his daughters got attention, particularly the one named Paris.
She obviously hung out with other rich and famous kids, and there were few richer or famous-er than lawyer Robert Kardashian's girls, Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe, and those girls became famous by association.
And, ostensibly, Kim's fame is what allowed her to meet and marry Kanye West, who then made a video for his song "Famous" featuring famous people.
The list of "likers."
So the meme is basically illustrating that, A.) memes can be very stupid. And B.) Paris Hilton is technically the reason that Kim Kardashian is famous.
And Paris Hilton seeing and officially approving of the meme is the icing on the celebrity cake. There's your lesson in People Who Are Famous Because They Are Rich history.
Now you can get back to more important things, like binge-watching Orange Is the New Black.
Chloë Grace Moretz is sick of your shit, internet. The 19-year-old actress took to Twitter to air her grievances about trolls who call her "fat" and "masculine" in a short but anger-fueled rant (ugh, Twitter rants are so hot right now). Unfortunately, responding to trolls just feeds them, but Moretz definitely made some good points.
When will people hiding behind computer screens get tired of calling someone "fat" or "masculine" -
Hit Girl Moretz then went on to talk about how growing up in the spotlight is the hell you would totally expect it to be. Oh, and then the internet happened and things were even worse.
- I've spent my whole life in front of cameras growing up with miscellaneous people judging and critiquing every little thing about myself
HBO released an infographic showing multiple connections between major Game of Thrones characters. It's a tale of ice and fire, sex and violence, bastards and kings. Even for viewers and readers of the books, it's quite a visual undertaking to look at all the connections. Warning: spoilers for lots of characters in the entire series ahead.
Here's the entire chart in all its tangled glory. It shows all the genetic connections, marriages, alliances, and many murders as they relate to Ned's promise to watch over Jon Snow:
Here's a closer look at half of the graph:
That black line confirms that Lyanna Stark is Jon Snow's mother. And only she has that big ole' purple dashed line for being supposedly abducted by Rhaegar Targaryen. Then there's the all important, black line between Rhaegar Targaryen and Jon Snow, pointing out Jon Snow's father with all the authority Reddit theories have lacked for years.
As an aside, because this infographic illustrates the history behind Jon's lineage, it is notably missing Cersei Lannister (then we would get to see a black line from both her and Jamie to their three golden-haired children). Tee-hee.
The second half shows that very important red line between Lyanna Stark and Robert Baratheon, because of their engagement. Rheaegar got in the way of that, just a little bit.
So now we know for certain that Jon Snow is a child of ice and fire (Stark and Targaryen). But is he the promised prince? Everyone will have to wait for the books and TV series to answer that burning (and freezing) question.
Rihanna posted some sexy Instagram footage a fan took of her dancing on a glass bridge from her concert in Glasgow, Scotland. She's currently singing and dancing her way across Europe for her ANTI world tour, and this video's from a fan who had a very, ahem, unique view of RiRi from below.
She apparently loved the "saucy" video, and said it was a "fun ass night." She probably meant "fun-ass," but since there was also "fun ass" involved, just enjoy the double entendre.
More power to her, Rihanna has found a way to continue shattering the glass ceiling without shattering the glass bridge. She also likely thought a glass bridge would make for some fantastic footage from fans. She was right.
If you're a celebrity, odds are pretty good that you have a smokin' bod and you want to show it off. Thanks to social media, famous hotties can flood their Instagram feeds with perfectly photoshopped pics of their favorite body parts, then just sit back and let the likes rain down upon their empty souls. Sometimes celebs try to camouflage their narcissism with a prop, but it's so obvious. We're on to you, hot people! (Also please don't stop.) Here are 13 times celebrities used a thinly veiled excuse to show off their hot bods on Instagram. Note: we went ahead and left this list Kardashian/Jenner free because that's just way too easy.
"We like invented this concept."
1. Britney Spears
"I love boutiques. I named my abs 'Boutiques,' y'all."
You've seen Kim Kardashian show you her boobs loads of times, but have you ever seen her look this dead-eyed while doing it? While attending a GQ party celebrating her very naked photoshoot with the magazine, Kardashian wore a revealing dress, which she showed off on Snapchat in the most mysteriously vapid way imaginable.
Kylie Jenner, a woman who is so synonymous with makeup that her name is literally on lipstick, has joined the masses in hopping on the latest trend: a no-makeup selfie. Yes, she has no makeup on in this pic. Just impeccably groomed eyebrows, gorgeous hair, lips that she admitted having work done on, and that young person skin that doesn't have any wrinkles. Oh, and she appears to be in a Rolls Royce. Well, the "r" is backwards, so maybe it's actually some weird Redrum car.
Yes, she has a typo. That should read "No's makeup's Tuesday's."
Wow, Kylie. So down to Earth. She truly is one of us. If by "us," you mean a human being who lives on this Earth. And even that's debatable.
People awoke Wednesday morning to see #HeterosexualPrideDay trending worldwide on Twitter.Some people were earnestly (and often mean-spiritedly) celebrating the "straight community" as June's official LGBTQ Pride Month came to a close. Fortunately, because self-aware people still exist in the world, the obnoxious trolls living in a persecution fantasy (where every movie, ad, or song is a plot to imprison them for for straightness) were quickly and hilariously taken to task by the rest of Twitter.
Behold, a summary.
These proud heteros won't let being straight get in the way of being stupid:
They were created by bro-ey real estate surfer guy Joe Caccamo, who was sick of crop dusting his danglers with Gold Bond. GB makes a powdery mess, and he couldn't just walk around with wet wipes LIKE A WOMAN. There nad to be a better way.
Their packaging looks like a cigarette container, the only item almost as disgusting as balls.
Caccamo created the wet-wipe-like towlettes for his balls, but unlike baby wipes, which he complained to Broadly"are paper-based and fall apart in your hand," his wipes are a cloth-based towelette.
Pretty sure baby wipes don't have a shredding problem; a regular toilet can't even destroy those monsters. But whatever. Marketing.
Plus, Caccamo created a special nut formula of out of aloe vera, allantoin, and vitamin E that's intended to create a "refreshing tingly feeling that's something to behold."
"Be holdin my nuts!" is what we can expect every dude who uses Nadkins to yell.
We could let Caccamo explain further what Nadkins do, but let's trust every human, nad-bearing or no, innately understands the how and why of a dick towel. Instead, lets look to and rejoice in this description of Nadkins translated from a Japanese website:
Men, such as after adding the use and after sweating, recommend products to keep the delicate zone clean "Nadkins".
LOL "delicate zone." Nailed it again, translated Japanese website. If you need further explanation of Nadkins, check out their extremely informative promotional video:
Yikes. They made that.
At least the pricing on these nad-boys are pretty reasonable. When you get the monthly subscription they come in at a $1 per Nadkin—that's 50cents per nut.
It looks like a condom, but unlike condoms they're created to convince someone to perform oral.
So the big Q is: can we use Nadkins to swipe right on our Lady Vajays? Caccamo doesn't say, although he did comment to Broadly that "you could clean up a spill in your kitchen if you wanted to, or clean up after sex, [but] it's kind of a total waste to do that—it's not our intended purpose."
OMG STOP NAD-SPLAINING AND LET ME AT THEM NUT WIPES.
Ava Sambora, spawn of Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear, is basically genetically engineered to be super hot. She is the daughter of a rock star and an actress, so, according to science, that means that she is destined to a life of wearing small bikinis to show off her incredible body, which is what she has been spending a lot of time doing lately. The 18-year-old student and model adopted the "sun's out, buns out" motto when she shook it for all of Instagram to see.
Ava probably works very hard for a body that doesn't jiggle while she wiggles, and you know if you looked like her you would be posting non-stop bikini pics too.
