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Article 11


Someone is making jackets and handbags out of Alexander McQueen's skin.

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Ever loved someone so much you would wear their skin? Let's hope not. Unless that someone is Alexander McQueen, in which case it's still creepy, but also maybe possible. Tina Gorjanc, a student and designer at London’s legendary art and fashion school Central Saint Martins, plans to grow swathes of the late fashion designer's skin from DNA taken from locks of his hair and turn it into a human leather jacket.

Prototype of the skin-jacket made from boring ol' pig skin.

If you not only want to wear McQueen's skin but also carry your toiletries around in it, Gorjanc plans to make handbags and backpacks as well, if the patent goes through.​

If this all seems creepy to you, that's the whole point. The locks of McQueen's hair were included in the tag of garments in his 1992 graduate collection, “Jack the Ripper Stalks His Victims.” And according to an interview with the artist in Dezeen, the goal of her project is to illustrate, and challenge, the fact that it's currently legal to actually ownhuman DNA.

In the ​thesis for Gorjanc’s project, which is titled “Pure Human-Embodied Luxury,” she writes:

Tissue engineering technologies grow more sophisticated each day, thus the lack of protection regarding biological patent law allows bioengineering companies to obtain ‘raw’ materials from surgical patients without their consent. These materials are then processed into products, copyrighted by the manufacturing company and sold worldwide for huge profits.

So basically, she is creating art out of McQueen's skin in order to make a statement that big corporations could soon be able to do the same, with celebrities' skin, or just anyone's skin. And that's creepy af.

The Pure Human project was designed as a critical design project that aims to address shortcomings concerning the protection of biological information and move the debate forward using current legal structures...

If a student like me was able to patent a material extracted from Alexander McQueen’s biological information as there was no legislation to stop me, we can only imagine what big corporations with bigger funding are going to be capable of doing in the future.

Gorjanc has already made prototypes of the jacket out of pigskin, adding freckles and tattoos matching McQueen's actual tattoos to make it look more realistic. On the right sleeve of the jacket is the line “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,” a quote from A Midsummer Night’s Dream that McQueen had tattooed on his right bicep. The beloved fashion designer died by suicide in 2010 at age 40.

May he rest in peace, protest, and handbags.

This is the real reason why women fake orgasms.

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The notion that women occasionally fake orgasms is nothing new. While the common perception is that most women are "faking it" to spare their sexual partner's feelings, new findings indicate that might not actually be the case.

In a new study by Emily Thomas​, Monika Stelzl, and Michelle Lafrance that was presented at the British Psychological Society's Psychology of Women conference, 15 women ages 19-28 were interviewed about their reasons for faking orgasms. Researchers found that many of the women had faked sexual pleasure as a way to get out of uncomfortable or even unwanted sex. Granted, 15 is a pretty small sample pool, but the study's press release stated that all of the women "spoke explicitly of a problematic sexual experience" that they wanted to be over, either because it didn't feel good or because they didn't truly want it to happen, which is a little scary.

The morals of the story here? Number one, make sure that your partner actually, really, truly wants to have sex with you. And number two, once you've confirmed that...

Article 8

Bill Murray third-wheeled George and Amal Clooney in an appropriate shirt.

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George and Amal Clooney spent the Fourth of July cuddling up and sipping tequila on their boat on Lake Como, Italy, which would sound very romantic if their date weren't crashed by some random third-wheeler.

Well, if your romantic evening had to be interrupted by anyone, Bill Murray is a pretty cool choice. But wait a minute. What is on Bill's shirt?

Oh. Yep. Mmhm. That is George Clooney. Biiiilllllll!

Bill, you troll, you.

According to The Daily Mail, the shirt is from Kentucky for Kentucky, and you can buy it yourself right now if you have $25.

Shirt design by Ben Wade.

The $25 T-shirt seemed to be a hit, and is somehow getting more attention than Amal's $2700 Nina Ricci lace overalls.

Amy Schumer reveals disturbing story of how she unwittingly lost her virginity.

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Amy Schumer talked about a lot of fun, funny things in her interview with Marie Claire for their August issue; her story of losing her virginity wasn't one of them. Apparently, it happened without her consent, and though she doesn't call it rape, it wasn't consensual:

My first sexual experience was not a good one. I didn't think about it until I started reading my journal again. When it happened, I wrote about it almost like a throwaway. It was like, And then I looked down and realized he was inside of me. He was saying, 'I'm so sorry' and 'I can't believe I did this.'

She also says:

I had another time with a boyfriend where I was saying, ‘No, stop,’ and it was just completely ignored.

"You know, with the rape survivor, it’s not just shaming, it’s fury," Schumer said to Marie Claire. "It makes people so mad if you’re not a perfect victim." Here's hoping that the only reaction Schumer gets to this article is a lot of love.

You can eat all the pizza you want, says very scientific study.

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imma eat it all

I love pizza. I love all the pizza. I can't wait to tell my doctor that it's healthy to eat pizza.

According to a study at UC San Francisco and Touro University California, foods that are high in calories, but low in sugar, are healthier than high calorie foods that are high in sugar.

The study examined the diets of 43 overweight children for nine days. During this time, researchers slowly swapped the children's sugar snacks for snacks that had lower sugar content. The substitution snacks were high-calorie as well.

So, instead of a cupcake, these lucky kiddos would be given… PIZZA. Or hot dogs. Or anything that's not pure sugar.

Personal hero.

The researchers discovered that when the children ate high-calorie snacks with lower sugar, their overall health improved. In some instances, the low sugar diet resulted in weight loss.

So the main takeaways are: number one, a diet that is high in sugar is really bad for your health. This includes soda, donuts, candy bars, a hubcap full of whipped cream, etc. And number two, a high-calorie diet sans sucrose is healthier.

Let's set aside the fact that a balanced low-calorie diet of lean meats, veggies, fruits, and plenty of water, along with moderate exercise, is the safest and most effective weight-loss plan, and focus on this single scientific study. I conclude, according to this research, that I can eat pizza, so much pizza, and still be healthier than if I ate pizza, so much pizza, and also all the ice cream.

Me, in about two hours.

Maisie Williams reacts how anyone would react to an Emmy nomination at 19-years-old.

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Maisie Williams, who plays plays Arya Stark on Game of Thrones, is 19. So when the actress just found out she was nominated the "Outstanding Supporting Actress" Emmy, she reacted like any teenager who just got really exciting news should react. With a LOT of feels. And emojis. And even a few curse words.

It's a roller coaster of emotion, so buckle up. Minutes after the show's Twitter account tweeted their congrats this morning, she responded:

Then, five minutes later, she tweeted this:

If you need that translated from teen: she was on Facetime with her mom when she was informed of her nomination. She was very surprised!

And also maybe a little overwhelmed, based on this tweet to GOT producer Bryan Cogman, who also tweeted his congrats:

And finally, as the news began to really sink in, she was... hungry? She tweeted this to her friend Alexandra:

What's a Jaffa Cake? Doesn't matter. Pass them to her ASAP, she has had a DAY. But not letting the big news get to her head, Williams also congratulated her co-star Lena Headey, who was also nominated for an Emmy in the same category for her role as Queen Cersei:

Annnnd that's all she wrote. For now. What a ride! Someone pass the Jaffa Cakes.


Article 3

Once you hear them, these tiny details will ruin popular songs for you (or your enemies).

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Reddit's been having a great time picking apart songs by pointing out their almost imperceptible errors. Here are some observations that will, at the very least, point something out you've never noticed about a pretty famous tune. At the worst, it'll make that song unlistenable.

Yeah, nearly a third of these are Clash songs.

Plus, you can listen to all the songs here too, so you can get started on hating them immediately.

1. How do you feel about J. Tim's "Suit and Tie"? Blackbradyy hates the beginning.

Justin Timberlake's super sensual moan at the beginning of Suit and Tie

It is quite sensual, if you're in the mood to hear a goat moan.

2. Exandrus has a great one for all the Baby Boomers and Grammar Nazis.

Paul McCartney, Live and Let Die - "But in this ever changing world in which we live in." Damn it! Why does he have to use the same preposition three times in one line?

This song is so good until you realize Paul needs a copy editor.

Also, are extra prepositions the reason why Paul McCartney admitted Wings was a terrible band?

ICYMI: This month Paul discusses writing 'Temporary Secretary': https://www.paulmccartney.com/news-blogs/news/you-gave-me-the-answer-david-from-the-usa-asks

Posted by Paul McCartney on Saturday, July 2, 2016

3. Thisoneguyeh has set out to find the one issue with what is otherwise a perfect song.

The song "Rock the Casbah" is an amazing song, however, if you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of dial tones in the background that don't go well with the song. I can't stop hearing them now, but damn, what a catchy song.

You really gotta listen closely, but it's there.

4. Oh no, the Clash are just getting savaged here.

From Should I Stay or Should I Go: "If I go there will be trouble. And if I stay it will be double."

You just answered your own question, The Clash. You'll clearly have less trouble if you go.

Yes, but he's having so much fun.

5. Greenmask points out the obvious about Muse. Hope you don't like Muse.

I can't listen to Muse the same again after noticing Matt heavily breathing in/out before every line.

uuuughhhhh MY PLUG IN BABY

uuuuuggghhhh CRUCIFIES MY ENEMIES

guuuuhhhhhhhh WHEN I'M TIRED OF LIVING

It's great, however, if you love to listen to your friends breathe but they find it creepy.

6. Drunk_vel is extremely worked up.

Take on me.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? Take me on isn't a whole lot better but it at least implies that there is a challenge to the other person. "Take me on, brah" as in "let's throw down." But "take on me" it doesn't seem grammatically correct but IT'S A HUGELY POPULAR SONG! What the fuck! Does no one else realize this? I feel like I'm fucking crazy and it's actually fine. But seriously, why does no one else have a problem with this!?

Other commenters give them a pass because they're Norwegian.

7. Oh boy. Not a bad point from SeriesOfAdjectives.

Just was having this discussion with my coworkers today: not the greatest song imo but in Fat Lip by Sum 41 there's a line that says "the doctor said my mom should've had an abortion" and then it fades out to the chorus repeating the word 'abortion' again and again. I mean, I get that it's a song about how much they don't give a shit about offending people but it's like nails on a chalkboard for me that they echoed it so many times.

"Bortion, bortion, bortion..."

Article 1

The newest nail art trend will make you look like a sexy cyborg.

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Narcissists rejoice! According to Elle Magazine, the next biggest trend in nail art is "mirror nails." As the name suggests, the highly reflective nail varnish will transform your fingernails into 10 tiny mirrors so you can stare at yourself all day no matter where you are. You will literally have mirrors at the tips of your fingers. Watch this very hypnotic YouTube video of someone applying the polish to her nails.

The most popular brand producing the highly reflective nail polish is Born Pretty, and you can order the varnish online.

However, this is probably not the best polish for those who are distracted by shiny objects. It should probably come with a warning: do not operate large machinery while wearing this polish.

The 17 most groan-worthy puns currently being made at the ex-Pence of Trump's reported new VP.

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On July 14, rumors spread quickly that Donald Trump had decided to pick Indiana governor Mike Pence as his vice presidential running mate. Unnamed Trump officials have disputed this, but that didn't stop Twitter from coming alive with puns about the possibility of a "Truppence" ticket. Here, from the godless liberals who write jokes on Twitter, are 17 puns that will induce bigger groans than the one Chris Christie let out when he heard the news.

First of all, let's get this one out of the way:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Now that that one's out of the way, what other gems did they come up with?

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

Kylie Jenner got a haircut and used it as opportunity to show off her butt.

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There is less of Kylie Jenner now, in that she now has shorter hair. The youngest K-kid has just debuted a new hairstyle, and it is none other than the BOB.

Perhaps to further frame her signature fake lips, the 18-year-old's hair now stops right by her chin.

👅

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

She certainly pulls off the shorter hair, seemingly aging five years in the few minutes that it took to chop the locks.

Despite opting for a more mature coiffure, Kylizzle seems sad about growing up, because NINETEEN YEARS OLD is when sh*t gets real.

(Side bar: Is there anything sadder than someone being sad about turning nineteen? As if being eighteen is so great you want to stay there forever? Well, maybe eighteen is great when you neither work nor go to school.)

This is the process of the hair being cut, which like most things for Jenner, is really about showing off her butt.

"Bob" is just one "O" away from "boob," so here she is showing hers off.

Kylie had previously sported a short hairstyle at the Met Gala, but then her hair was long again the next day.

big homie betta grow up

A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

It appears that this is indeed a bob, and not a fob (fake bob).

Kylie now joins the ranks of such esteemed bob-havers as Target Lady…

…Kit Kitteridge, the American Girl…

…and Taylor Swift, circa this February.

Oh what a night. ⭐️

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

Bobs are making a comboback!

Mall security robot lashes out against defenseless toddler.

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A mall in Palo Alto, California suspended its use of security robots after one of them beat up a toddler in front of an Armani Exchange earlier this week. The little boy reportedly didn't notice the machine and ran into it, causing him to fall over. Because it was an evil robot incapable of human empathy, the machine kept moving and ran over the boy's tiny baby foot. Luckily, the little boy is okay, suffering only "a nasty bruise." The question is, though, is this incident only the beginning?

They're coming.

We all know the robot takeover of the human race is coming eventually. Is this the first step? Children are the most vulnerable of all of us. Why wouldn't the robots choose to pick off the weakest members first? It's scary stuff. Take care of your babies out there.


This University of North Texas mug is trending because the handle spells a really bad word.

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Trending on Facebook Thursday afternoon is a story about a University of North Texas mug that *accidentally* spells out an obscenity, and if you're literate enough to read to this point in the sentence, you've probably figured out what it spells.

But where's that dastardly "C"? It's the handle.

The mug's been hailed as an *epic* *fail* across the internet, but according to ex-students (and common sense), the one-letter-off curse spelled by their school initials is a pretty common joke on campus.

In fact, students who weighed in on a Reddit thread from 10 months ago on a similar picture decided it was fake.

Never has an "of" been so important for an acronym.

A quick trip to the UNT bookstore website will also only yield you a photo of the cup with the handle on the wrong side—but it could have been updated since the story started going viral a couple days ago.

The only photo of a cup facing the right (wrong) way is actually obscured by some kind of UNT banner.

According to Metro, "the joke's so well known you can buy plenty of rude mugs with the design in place on purpose." So, what gives UNT? Are you a school of viral marketing genius or the unwitting victim of rude puns?

We've reached out to the University of North Texas for comment and will update this post upon receiving a response.

Update 07/15/2016:

A university representative told Someecards you can no longer buy the mug online or in the bookstore, although it was "designed/produced by a licensed vendor more than a year ago for a campus event."

When asked whether the mug was created with any intent to spell out one of the most cursed curse words, she said, "There was no intent whatsoever. It was simply an unfortunate mistake."

Unfortunate? The old adage about "any news" says otherwise. Either way—you can still buy all sorts of these mugs on Etsy.

What is mug may never die.

Lena Dunham opposes college dining hall sushi because of cultural appropriation.

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Earlier this year, students at ultra-liberal Oberlin College in Ohio protested that the school was "insensitive" for serving "culturally appropriated" food, like sushi and banh mi sandwiches, in the dining hall. And now Oberlin alumni Lena Dunham has weighed in on the students vs. sushi debate, and–surprise!–she's taking the students' side.

"There are now big conversations at Oberlin, where I went to college, about cultural appropriation and whether the dining hall sushi and banh mi disrespect certain cuisines," said the Girls star in an interview with Food & Wine. "
The press reported it as, 'How crazy are Oberlin kids?' But to me, it was actually, 'Right on.'"

This is not exactly a curve ball. Dunham, 30, is known for being politically outspoken, and has taken a strong stance on everything from feminism (she's for it) to Photoshopping (against it) to #FreeKesha (definitely for it).

But can food really oppress people? Students at Oberlin thought so when they complained to the school paper and then protested on campus last November. “The undercooked rice and lack of fresh fish is disrespectful,” wrote Tomoyo Joshi, a junior from Japan. “When you’re cooking a country’s dish for other people, including ones who have never tried the original dish before, you’re also representing the meaning of the dish as well as its culture. So if people not from that heritage take food, modify it and serve it as ‘authentic,’ it is appropriative.”

She may have a point. But at the same time, if Americans stopped "appropriating" sushi, we'd also have to stop eating pizza, pasta, and burritos. And at that point, what is there to live for??

D.L. Hughley attacks Fox News's position on racism during Fox News interview.

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D.L. Hughley appeared on Fox News's The Kelly File Wednesday night, and he tore into Fox while discussing recent police shootings of black men. In the interview with Megyn Kelly, Hughley argued that police get an instant presumption of innocence following a shooting with video evidence. He went on to say civilians that committed the same shootings would quickly be found guilty.

The argument became heated when Kelly brought up the 2014 Ferguson police shooting of Michael Brown. She stated that while a Department of Justice investigation found systemic racism in the Ferguson Police Department, that did not necessarily mean the officer that shot Brown is racist. That's when Hughley cut her off with this:

The only place racism doesn't exist is Fox News and the police department.

Kelly didn't appreciate the comment, saying "That's insulting. You just insulted millions of people watching this channel." Hughley could've cared less:

You know what? I'm insulted by the things I hear on this network so we're even. I could care less about insulting people who insult me on a daily basis.

Kelly couldn't get the interview back on track after that, so she ended the segment. It's unlikely Hughley will be back on The Kelly File any time soon, unless they both feel like having a spat on live TV.

LGBTQ people try to say something nice about Donald Trump.

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The Republican Party just released its platform, and it reads like a bitter breakup letter with the gays. Don't believe us? In the words of Donald Trump, just "Ask the gays!" So we did just that.

The 2016 GOP platform supports overturning the Supreme Court's marriage decision with a constitutional amendment; appointing federal judges that support "traditional family values"—something Trump knows so much about; promoting state laws that limit which restroom transgender people could use; even "conversion therapy" a.k.a. "pray the gay away."

FULL DISCLOSURE: This author has tried; it's impossible to pray his gay away. He's that gay.

But, as everyone's mother has said since the beginning of time, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. So we asked eight comedians to think of something nice to say about the man who's leading a party that feels so anti-gay.

Brent Sullivan

I'll say this about trump, at least he doesn't care what people think about him.

Irene Tu

Trump is the reason I'm 100% certain I'm gay. Thanks Trump!

Eliot Glazer

He looks better with Nene Leakes' hair than Nene Leakes.

Riley Silverman

"It sure looks like he's having fun up there" that's a thing people say to comics when we bomb.

Casey Ley

His little hands make our dicks look sooo big. And they are as soft as a billion dollars, mm mmmmm.

Ryan O'Connell

He's rich, which is chic. Having money is great!

Solomon Georgio

I'm thankful for Trump. He helped me end friendships that should've ended years ago.

Guy Branum

I respect how easy to spell his last name is.

This is what happens when you ask a Sephora employee for a 'light, casual' makeover.

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There is no Sephora employee in the world who, upon giving you a makeover, will make you look like anything less than a particularly insecure Kardashian. Exhibit A: Instagram user @haraamzadi's Sephora makeup job after she asked the salesperson to give her "light, casual" makeup.

Pretty, but definitely not light.

The eyeliner wings aren't even even! For what it's worth, here are the products the Sephora artist used to achieve this look, from what @haraamzadi can remember:

Eyeliner: Kat Von D Tattoo Liner

Lipstick: Buxom ("red on bottom and then a coral shade over it")

Foundation: Benefit Hello Flawless

Eyeshadow: Anastasia Beverly Hills Modern Renaissance

Mascara: Too Faced Better than Sex

From the looks of it, the make-up artist definitely also used an eyebrow pencil, and she additionally might have used bronzer, highlighter, blush, eyebrow gel, and lip liner. Or, as they call it at Sephora, "light makeup."

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