Tattoo artists (and friends of tattoo artists, and people who know tattoo artists) are sharing stories on Reddit of the gnarliest things they have ever been paid to permanently etch into human skin with indelible ink. These are cautionary tales. They are tales of terrible dad jokes, reckless youths, and most of all, regret.

1. UnclePepperpoty's underage acquaintance overdid it.

A guy i know has a tattoo of Roman numerals with his date of birth running down his forearm.

The problem is - he wasn't old enough to get one at the time so lied on the form he had to fill out, and as a result, he now has a tattoo with the WRONG date of birth on his arm!!

2. Sheephound's buddy had too much fun with the pun.

Buddy of mine in the Army got a rooster hanging from a noose tattooed on his calf so he could say he had a cock that hung below his knee.

First year military tattoos are no joke.

3. Crackedrepair's friend has the dreamcatcher of nightmares.

4. KeytarPlatypus's friend has an elaborate (but offensive) Dad Joke inked into his skin.

My buddy has tear drops on the sides of his middle fingers. Anytime someone complains to him he puts them up to his eyes and makes a pouty face.

5. SleezyForRonWeasley has the sleeziest pun yet.

My tattoo artist told me that another guy in their shop had recently tattooed boxing gloves on a woman's vagina(in her 50s). It was for her husband's birthday and she said it was so he could beat her pussy up.

6. How do you say "awesome" in Huttese? d4nks4uce's cousin must know.

7. ALWAYS_TELLING_LIES has the truth about Extreme Darts.

A girl wanted me to make her nipples in to targets, black and red circles around them.

Yeah, not proud of that one.

8. piknick1994's artist created a business opportunity with their anus and ink.

Asked my artist this. He told me that years ago some stripper came in looking to have vines and roses tattooed on that would come out of her butthole and curl up her back. He asks why not just get the roses on her back and butt, but she insists it must come out of her anus. He reluctantly does the tattoo for a a high price and said it looked pretty good too. But curiosity got the better of him after a while and he asks why she insists on having it come out of her butthole.

Her response was both the strangest and smartest reasoning I could have heard for such a tattoo. She would dance and she figured the guys would ask "hey how far does that tat go" to which she could say "for ten bucks I'll show you". So the dudes pay up a ten spot, she shows her asshole real fast and done deal. She's richer and they looked at an asshole. My tattoo artist is not proud of that job.

9. It's too late for Iztinx's client.

When I was an apprentice we had a "DJ" that performs at a lot of local clubs call our studio just as I was walking out the door, my ears perked up immediately as I gathered that much from our receptionist on the phone and took the call. Obviously with intention of getting a good bit of exposure amongst the club scene once he posts on his social media. He wanted a messy looking smiley face (like his own kind of blink 182 kind of thing) normally I'd arrange a consult and make a booking but he was desperate to have it right there and then no matter the cost. I told him to come straight down and I'll have a couple designs made up for him once he gets here. 30 minutes later he comes flying through the door and runs to my desk, he's covered in green dye and different colors from powder bombs and confessed he doesn't actually want the smiley face on his hip but "I DID IT FOR THE SNAPCHAT" in "that font from the Drake cover". Looking at his arms he was already covered in crap from backyard scratchers and it helped me justify doing it. While doing the tattoo he explained to me he was getting it for a competition a club was doing amongst djs to see who could promote the clubs new name change on social media the best and win a contract to get to perform there for a period of time. His first antic was sculling 3 litres of milk with green dye in it until he threw up, second was just a powder bomb war and lastly wanted to go to the extreme of getting the tattoo. I finished the piece and kindly asked him if he could not promote myself or the studio for obvious reasons. He was over the moon and loved it, paid the agreed amount and ran back out to see what he could do next. What I was unaware of was the girl that came in with him that I thought was his gf actually worked for this club and was snapchatting the whole thing through the businesses account. I didn't know about this until me and my partner brought up how our days were, and she showed me the snap story promptly after I'd told her about the whole thing. I didnt chase them up at all and just took it on the chin. Now I use it as a reminder to only ever accept things that I'm happy to put my name to.

Edit just to add. He didn't win.

Here is a video of a young, possibly drunk protester who was outside the Republican National Convention in the wee hours of July 19. There is not much to say about her, except "wow." Others have noted the crazy similarities between her speaking style and a certain Cecily Strong character from Saturday Night Live's 'Weekend Update':

The smoking woman, armed with a megaphone, veers wildly between the NBA championship, her abortion, "working for the steel mill, working for the taxes," not having health insurance, "I don't even want to talk about my medical bills," doing "art therapy for mental health counseling," playing the victim card, "I'm 27, I accept these things," and helping "the schizophrenics."

It's eerie:

After his mom deleted Pokémon Go, one 10-year-old boy decided to run away from home—but unfortunately, his older sister was there to capture the whole thing and make fun of him in the process. This, of course, is exactly what older sisters are for. Someday (not today), he will thank her for this, because this is very very cute.

The best part is that when he ran away from home, he took his football medals with him, so you know he meant business. The next best part is those Scottish accents.

Have you felt like Britney Spears deserved a break after all that promotion for of her new single, "Make Me"? Well, she heard you, and she did just that at Six Flags Hurricane Harbor (because stars are just like us, especially this one).

Spears and her abs, along with her two sons and a nanny, hit up the Los Angeles water park, and from what she posted on Instagram, it looked like her abs had a great time.

Here, Brit-Brit's abs (and a kid) pose with a funnel cake. No eye witnesses have come forward to vouch that Spears actually ate the funnel cake.

Here, her abs take a group photo. Notice how her stomach seems to cast a shadow over everyone else.

Spears' abs are so great, they even were able to capture video of her son and nanny going down a slide.

It really seems like her abs had a great time. And for that, we are happy. Dare we say lucky? Because she's so lucky, she's a star, but she cry, cry... OK we're done.

Day 2 of the Republican National Convention is here! Melania Trump's plagiarism scandal dominated the morning, but now the GOP gets to take back the narrative! Maybe? Anyhow, here are some of the best reactions on social media to the proceedings! We will continue to update throughout the night, so check back as new speakers get their turn:

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Finally, the festivities began.

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Speaker Paul Ryan said things are "off to a good start," though he appeared only medium enthusiastic at best.

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At 7:21PM EST, Donald Trump became the official nominee of the Republican party.

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Following the nomination, several lesser-known speakers spoke. A highlight (lowlight?) was UFC President Dana White.

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At 9:25, Paul Ryan spoke again to give a hopeful vision of the future for the GOP. Donald Trump was not mentioned much.

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At 9:45, Chris Christie, a former federal prosecutor, conducted a trial the old-fashioned way: by asking a room full of someone's enemies whether or not they're guilty.

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He was followed by the most reclusive adult Trump child, Tiffany.

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Next, Donny Jr. took the stage for a rousing speech about his father's touch with the common man.

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Finally, neurosurgeon and human white noise machine Dr. Ben Carson showed up and, um, implied that Hillary worships Lucifer.

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If you follow politics, you know someone in the Trump campaign plagiarized part of Melania Trump's speech last night from Michelle Obama's in '08—well, The Daily Show thought maybe Donald Trump, Jr's speech on night two of the RNC was borrowed without credit as well. (UPDATE 12:18 AM: It appears Donald, Jr. hired the original author, F.H. Buckley, as a ghostwriter and Prof. Buckley copied and pasted his own past work.)

Here are the images on their own:

Those sentences originally appeared in an article by F.H. Buckley, a law professor at George Mason University. Now, whether or not The Daily Show was aware, he is a noted conservative who writes for The American Spectator as well as (as you see above) The American Conservative. He is not, however, a speechwriter, nor is he listed on Trump's campaign staff in any capacity. Nevertheless, he responded to the rumors:

Despite an immediate deluge of questions from reporters and curious members of the public, including yours truly, Prof. Buckley has stayed mum on whether or not he contributed to Donald Jr's speech. Prof. Buckley has confirmed that he wrote the speech, and claims he was unaware he copied his own work word-for-word.

At least this will somewhat put to rest the idea some have put forth that there's an actual saboteur in his camp, in part because Melania's speech also had some phrases very similar to a Rickroll:

Garry Marshall passed away Tuesday at 81. The writer, sitcom creator and director of Pretty Woman and many other films was widely beloved by fans and stars alike. Tributes poured forth on social media. Here are 21 of the most touching tweets:

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In one of the best crowd-sourced nostalgia trips of all time, redditors of all ages shared the items, actions, and even words their schools had to ban. One thing quickly became clear: Pokémon has been screwing everything up for 20 years. You might think Pokémon Go is a big deal in 2016, but in 1999, Pokémon cards were every middle schooler's most consuming anxiety. At least kids these days don't get tricked into trading their cell phones.

1. SpeedyCarz66 reminds us all why camera phones are truly the worst.

2. Slinthetic shares how kids at his school turned "buckle" into a curse word.

3. Stay with this story from HearachetoHouston until the end, and it will make sense. So will the ban.

4. Egnards shares one that's so relatable to 90s kids, it's already being made into 15 different clickbait lists.

5. Ah yes, how easily blankets become a sex toy for hormonal teens. From MTGKaioshin:

6. Meds4you went to school in a Lewis Carroll young adult novel.

7. Aren't you glad you don't go to middle school anymore? From the grateful GratefulGengar:

8. Jvpanos tells a quick and brutal story.

9. Finally, michaelisnotginger shares a ban that actually has an academic reason behind it.

10. This guy's story is not academic. But again, a 90s hallmark.

11. Kids used to do "around the world" and hand out concussions like candy. Darxe knows.

12. And Black_flag_4ever​suffered from the worst dress code imaginable.

Every four years, the world's greatest athletes come together to compete in the Olympic games, and apparently, also have a lot of sex with each other.

According to the New York Post, 450,000 condoms and 175,000 packets of lube will be distributed to the athletes competing over the course of the 17-day long Olympic games in Rio. 350,000 of the condoms will be given to male athletes while the remaining 100,000 will be given to women.

This is the first time in the history of the Olympics that females will be given free condoms. Finally. Girls want to have sex, too.

And while distributing condoms to athletes is nothing new, this year the quantity of condoms is a new record, and has nearly tripled since the 2012 London games, when 150,000 condoms were provided. The tradition began in Seoul in 1988, when 8,500 condoms were given to Olympians.

So yes, nearly a half million condoms is definitely a bit excessive, especially because there are only 10,500 athletes competing, but apparently Olympians have quite the reputation for humping non-stop in their off time.

Metro reported that US target shooter Josh Lakatos said of his time at the games, “I’d never witnessed the debauchery seen at Sydney 2000 in my entire life. My apartment in the Olympic Village was like a brothel."

US women’s soccer goalie Hope Solo had a similar experience while competing in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, “There’s a lot of sex going on at the Olympics. I’ve seen people having sex out in the open, getting down and dirty on grass between buildings.”

Ew. Well, as much is to be expected when you confine a bunch of hot, in-shape people to one small place. It is like an adult version of summer camp.

Plus, with the looming threat of the Zika virus being a concern in Brazil, organizers definitely want to avoid a potential outbreak of any other kind, ifyaknowwhatimean. Between competing in the games and having enough condoms to have sex 2-3 times a day, how the hell do these people have time to do anything else?

Well, despite the giving people enough condoms to have more sex in 17-days than most of us will have all year, we will see how many athletes chose to use them. If there are any genetically-gifted babies being born in nine months, we will know that some of those 450,000 condoms went to waste.

Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney have broken up. The pair had been together for the last five years, and got engaged on Valentines Day of 2015. Now they have decided to break off their engagement and take a break.

However, it seems like Gaga and Kinney's breakup was not due to a "bad romance." Gaga uploaded this black and white picture of her and Kinney with their arms around each other with a small explanation as to why they broke up. It seems like these two having nothing but respect for one another, and there isn't any "bad blood" between them. Oh crap, that's a Taylor Swift song. Sorry.

Taylor and I have always believed we are soulmates. Just like all couples we have ups and downs, and we have been taking a break. We are both ambitious artists, hoping to work through long-distance and complicated schedules to continue the simple love we have always shared. Please root us on. We're just like everybody else and we really love each other.

Ah, long distance, you are a real relationship killer. According to E!, the pair has been working in different cities and not been able to spend much time together. Kinney stars on Chicago Fire while Gaga is working hard on her new album, so their careers leave little time for them to focus on their relationship.

However, Kinney-Gaga shippers are hopeful that the two will get back together after this "break," so we can all continue to live vicariously through their love story. A source told People, "She's working on an album, he's working on his show, they aren't in the same state, it was just hard. They both love each other very much and they want it to work. It's just been tough with the long distance​." Seems hopeful.

Because celebrities are the sages of our time, and because they’re generally better looking than both politicians and delegates in those red, white, and blue boater hats, they’re highly sought out to speak at the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. Here are some famous people—of varying levels of fame and political involvement—who boosted TV ratings and made America great by stepping up to the podium at a DNC or RNC.

1. Kal Penn.

Sure, Penn is a celebrity because he was in those Harold and Kumar movies, and also he was on House when that show was huge. But he left House in 2009 to work for Barack Obama during the president’s first term. He served as associate director of the Office of Public Liaison from 2009 to 2011, and capped it off by speaking at the 2012 Democratic National Convention.

2. Scarlett Johansson.

Regardless of your political views, it’s a matter of fact that Obama is one of the youngest and coolest presidents in the nation’s history—younger and cooler than William Howard Taft and Franklin Pierce combined. That means Obama could also pull in the celebrity speakers who were cool and young like him. Like Scarlett Johansson, who spoke at the 2012 Democratic National Convention about the importance of voting.

3. Clint Eastwood.

The Democrats had Black Widow, but the Republicans had two-time Oscar winning director and Dirty Harry/Josey Wales/Guy from Space Cowboys Clint Eastwood. In a bit of political theater (and avant garde theater), Eastwood famously delivered his speech at the 2012 Republican National Convention to President Obama… represented on stage by an empty chair.

4. Jason Sehorn and Angie Harmon.

There just aren’t a lot of avowed conservatives in Hollywood. There’s Clint Eastwood, Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond, and, uh, Angie Harmon. Married conservatives Sehorn and Harmon were quite the get for the 2004 Republican National Convention—he was a pro football player, she was on Law & Order, and he proposed to her during an episode of The Tonight Show. Anyway, they spoke at the 2004 RNC (together) about two servicemen who had earned the Medal of Honor.

Some say that playing football takes courage. But it is just a game. Nothing compares to the valor of these men. These are America's heroes, they know the price of liberty, and they support President George W. Bush.

5. Janine Turner.

In 2008, the Republican National Convention was where most Americans heard of Alaska governor Sarah Palin for the first time—when she was introduced as the party’s Vice Presidential candidate. Evidently, the GOP just can’t get enough Alaskan women, even if they’re not really from Alaska. This would explain why Janine Turner, who starred as bush pilot Maggie on the quirky Alaska-set dramedy Northern Exposure back in the ‘90s, spoke at the 2012 Republican National Convention.

6. John Wayne.

The Duke starred in so many war movies and cowboy movies that in the public consciousness, he might as well have been a war hero and a cowboy. He’s the prototypical big tough good guy, although in real life he was outspoken about his hatred for commies and “hippie dropouts.” So much so that he spoke at the 1968 Republican National Convention on behalf of his good friend, presidential candidate Richard Nixon. His speech was surprisingly apolitical, and more of a patriotic summary about why he thought America was pretty great.

“I have a feeling that a nation is more than just government, laws and rules. It’s an attitude. It’s the people’s outlook. Dean Martin once asked me what I wanted for my baby daughter, and I realize now that my answer was kind of an attitude toward my country. Well, he asked me this on election day and the bars were closed anyway, so he had a lot of time to listen and I told him. . . . I told him that I wanted for my daughter Marisa what most parents want for their children. I wanted to stick around long enough to see that she got a good start and I would like her to know some of the values that we knew as kids, some of the values that an articulate few now are saying are old-fashioned. But most of all I want her to be grateful, as I am grateful for every day of my life that I spend in the United States of America. . . . I don’t care whether she ever memorizes the Gettysburg Address or not, but I want her to understand it, and since very few little girls are asked to defend their country, she will probably never have to raise her hand to that oath, but I want her to respect all who do. I guess that is what I want for my girl. That is what I want for my country, and that’s what I want for the men that you people are going to pick from here to go shape our destinies.”

7. Ben McKenzie.

How popular was The OC in 2004? So much so that McKenzie, who played bad boy Ryan on the show (and who currently stars on Gotham) got a speaking slot at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. You just know John Kerry was a total Ryan-Marissa shipper. McKenzie spoke for about three minutes, starting off with some self-deprecating humor that turns into some major shade against then-president Bush, before telling young people that they should vote.

"I'm From Texas. I know very little about foreign police, balancing the budgets, or protecting the environment. of course, you'd be surprised how far you can rise in this country with those qualifications. And, while I may not be an expert on those issues, I definitely do know this: In 2000, I didn't do anything. I didn't volunteer. I didn't vote. I didn't even register to vote. I was too busy and I thought it didn't matter. And I wasn't the only one. I learned 18 million Americans from 18-24 also didn't vote."

8. Scott Baio.

Earlier this week, the former star of Charles in Charge, Happy Days, and a musical about gangster Bugsy Malone with a cast made up entirely of children that ends in a pie fight, was among the first and most high profile speakers at the 2016 Republican National Convention. He spoke out against“getting free stuff,” called out Hillary Clinton for acting “entitled,” and said Donald Trump “gets things done.” Baio also tweaked Trump’s “Make America Great Again” slogan into “Make America America again,” which presumably means the ‘70s, when he was famous for romanticizing the ‘50s. Or maybe he meant the actual ‘50s.

A slew of Hollywood elite, including supermodel Chrissy Teigen, took to social media on Tuesday to defend Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones after she was bombarded with horrific, racist tweets that finally drove her off Twitter. On Monday, the comedian fought back at the trolls, retweeting the hateful messages and responding to each one.

After hours of this, she was frustrated and heartbroken, tweeting:

Finally, late Monday night, Jones announced that she'd had enough and was retiring from Twitter:

A huge number of the Saturday Night Live star's fans and fellow celebrities, like Margaret Cho and Ghostbustersdirector Paul Feig, tweeted their support of Jones, with the hashtag #LoveforLeslieJ. And many implored the site to improve its support system to prevent future racist hate speech. Chrissy Teigen was among the stars to speak out, tweeting:

And she had a lot more to say on the subject. After a spokesperson for Twitter told BuzzFeed News that they “still have a lot of work in front of [them] before Twitter is where it should be on how [they] handle these issues," Chrissy let the site know that she would not stand for this.

So what can Twitter do? someone asked. Teigen had answers:

Oh and don't even think about telling her to "toughen up."

But what about the "trolls will be trolls" argument? Nope.

She might even move to San Francisco and do the damn job herself.

Look Twitter, she's not even asking that much, okay?

And this is not about her being oversensitive, so don't even.

And finally, she knows there are bigger problems in the world. But don't worry, she's pissed about those things, too.

Leslie Jones may have been through hell the past few days, but at the very least this superfeisty supermodel has her back. Perhaps Twitter had her rant in mind when they banned Milo Yiannopoulos​.

Mila Kunis stopped by Howard Stern on Tuesday to promote her new film, Bad Moms, and spoke with Howard about her current and past romances. Her current romance is of course with her husband Ashton Kutcher, with whom she has a daughter and another on the way. Her last relationship was with Macaulay Culkin, and Kunis said he was a tough person to date.

Kunis started dating Culkin in 2002 when she was 18. Dating him wasn't tough because of his personality, it was because of his wild fame as a child star. She said that when fans saw him in public they reacted much differently towards him than other celebrities:

He always had this weird attraction, like fans just screamed when they saw him! They didn't know how to react. It wasn't like a normal response to a celebrity. Fans responded in a very abnormal way to him.

Since Kunis now has a family with Kutcher, she can of course relate to how much Macaulay Culkin had his privacy invaded. She also discussed what happened with paparazzi after their daughter Wyatt was born:

I know that after Wyatt was born, we had drones in our backyard. I wasn't home. They were at our old house. They didn't realize that we had moved.

If either Kunis or Culkin have trouble with fans or paparazzi, perhaps they could borrow a few tactics from Culkin's role in Home Alone. Slipping on marbles or taking a paint can to the head will generally deter someone from following you.

And in case you haven't seen him in a while, check out grown-up Culkin in a pretty wild web series.

So the beef bone broth popsicle is a real thing, and guest Jim Parsons (of Big Bang Theory) and Kelly Ripa both tried one on Live with Kelly. Welcome to the summer of bone broth popsicles.

Well, "summer of" may be overstating it. The popsicle, which is made by NYC restaurant Springbone and costs four dollars, doesn't seem to be a hit with everyone. For example, Jim Parsons didn't seem too into it, and the kid they brought up from the studio audience, Francesco, is clearly not a fan.

The first word that comes to his head is "raw meat." Mmmmm, sounds super refreshing!

According to Kelly Ripa and the NY Post, besides one-third of a cup of beef bone broth, the popsicles also contain raspberry puree, maple sugar, coconut milk, and pomegranate juice. Jordan Feldman, the founder of Springbone, described the meat-sicle as "a little bit sweet," but claims you can't taste the meat.

He added, "It’s there, but it’s totally overwhelmed by the other flavors."

Uh, Feldman may want to have a few other people taste that sucker and see if they back up that statement.

To answer the question of why one would create a meat-sicle, Feldman told the NY Post that he first started drinking bone broth for its alleged health benefits.

He claims that the broth (which contains collagen), helped him heal a knee injury when physical therapy failed. "I was pretty much sold at this point," Feldman said. Great! Now he's just got to worry about convincing everyone else.

Everyone wants to lose weight, but no one wants to actually wants to put in the work to lose weight, because (let's be real) we are lazy and food tastes good. However, it is possible to shed a few pounds by simply making a few tweaks to your daily routine. Try to adopt these few easy life style changes and make your squishy butt slightly less squishy.

1. Drink so, so, so much water.

So, this is the first thing that people tell you to do when you are looking to lose weight, but guess what? Even if you think you're drinking enough water, you are not. According to slenderkitchen.com, you should be drinking 100 ounces, or 12.5 cups of water a day in order to lose weight. Yeah. So, fill up a small kiddie pool, stick a straw in it, and go to town. You will be so bloated with water weight that you won't have any room for snacks.

Remember, anything fun to drink (alcoholic beverages with little umbrellas in them, soda, smoothies, 90% of the Starbucks menu) is high in sugar and calories and guilt. Water is boring, but at least it won't make you fat(ter).

Plus, you will be running to the bathroom to pee, like, eighteen times a day. More exercise!

Sleep More. Yay!

Hey, if you're sleeping, you can't be eating (unless you are one of those people who eats when they sleepwalk, in which case, there is no helping you). According to registered dietician Esther Blum, getting about 7-8 hours of sleep every night could keep your from making poor food choices. When you have had a full nights sleep, your refreshed brain is less likely to reach for sugary foods in search of a quick fix for energy during the day. Sleeping truly is the ultimate way for a lazy person to lose weight.

So, put up the "Do Not Disturb" sign and sleep away. If your kids come a-knocking, just yell, "Go away, Mommy is losing weight in here!"

Do at least 30 minutes of exercise daily

Let's be real, most of us don't have an extra half hour in our day, and those who do definitely don't want to spend it exercising. But according to Cosmopolitan, a publication that has been telling women what to do with their bodies for years, 30 minutes of doing anything that gets your heart rate up a day can really help you shed some pounds. Here are some ways you can exercise that don't require driving to the gym:

Do kickboxing while watching election coverage. You will kick and punch extra hard out of anger.

Walk your fat lazy dog or your fat lazy husband. If you have to suffer, we all have to suffer.

Feed your kid some pixie sticks and agree to play tag.

Get on top when having sex. It's fun cause it's sex!

Dance your ass off (literally) to whatever infuriating pop music your kids like. They will totally be into that.

Literally run away from your responsibilities. Your boss is headed toward your cubicle with a stack of papers? Run away! If you get fired, congrats! Now you have plenty more free time to exercise.

Eat three meals a day. Actually.

How many times have you tried to starve yourself during the day only to sack your fridge like a ravenous raccoon attacking the garbage at 10pm? Don't do that. Although starving yourself may give instant results, you will end up gaining weight in the long run. Plus, you'll be hangry (hungry angry) and feel like crap all day.

Instead, eat three full, balanced meals a day, and allow yourself one light snack. Just avoid white breads, pasta, and all that processed crap. Oh, and stop layering cheese on everything you eat.

Cut out excess snacking.

It's easy to grab a bag of chips or a candy bar, especially when you're bored and want to take a luxuriously long walk to the vending machine instead of doing any real work at your job, but maybe try not doing that.

Instead, opt for a luxuriously long walk to the company fridge to grab an apple or some almonds. Oh! Or, maybe you can do a series of lunges to the company fridge, you damn overachiever. Then, show off your tush with a victory lap around the office that will leave your coworkers saying, "People actually eat raw almonds when they're hungry? Weird."

In what is hopefully becoming a grand internet tradition, yet another enterprising future savior of the human race has turned her nose into an instrument of twerking.

Nose news is good news.

Really, you can draw anything on your nose and wiggle it around. Will someone try this with a basketball? Just draw a basketball on your nose and then a little hoop on your cheek and try to throw your nose into it. No? Okay, granted, the nose does work really well as a butt.

Remember when this lady turned her nose into Rihanna?

Someone please just try it with a basketball now.