Just when you think this Presidential campaign season couldn't get more disturbing, Trump advisor and supporter Roger Stone and conservative radio show host Alex Jones go and discuss Clinton aide Huma Abedin's genitals on The Alex Jones Show. Seriously, we can't have anything nice.
ALEX JONES: ... as best we can tell she's [Huma Abedin] a Saudi royal agent.
ROGER STONE: I think she’s a Saudi asset. The media keeps saying her mother’s a prominent feminist. No. Her mother's a prominent advocate for genital mutilation. She has written extensively about genital mutilation.
ALEX JONES: Did Huma have her genitals cut off?
ROGER STONE: That I cannot tell you. But what I can tell you is --
ALEX JONES: I mean it's fair, I don't mean that to be crass!
Yeah, don't worry, we're gagging too.
As is often the case, the real nuggets of truth live within the comment section...
"(1) Huma Abnedin was born in Kalamazoo, Michigan. (2) Her parents are from India and Pakistan were female circumcision is rarely practiced. (3) Her genitals aren't anyone elses' business."
Kari, an adult woman in Salt Lake City, was having an adult conversation about third party politics on Facebook, when it turned out one dude in the conversation wasn't so "adult" after all.
Here's the sequence of events. The dude acknowledges Kari's "good" point, but told her that her tone "needs work."
It's worse than mansplaining—it's manrating. Or mandescension. Or just man-crying. So Kari zinged back with a rating of her own. She told him:
I'm going to rate your statistical data mining abilities 2.6 out of 17. Your facial hair, 0 out of 5.
Apparently, the comeback was way too much for him. Instead of handling it with Kari herself, he took it up with her man. You know, like a man would. He sent a message, saying:
Your girlfriend is a real piece of work. She was rude to my friend online, I asked her to check her tone, and she resorts to male bashing? Yeesh. I've asked more males to renew their polite card than females, and she lobs childish insults first, then accuses me of an emotional response. And then blocks me. I find it all amusing. Wish her luck in her quest to not be challenged. She failed miserably tonight.
Kari's boyfriend took Kari's side immediately. “It’s sad that a grown man such as yourself would actually take the time to message me and chastise my partner,” he responded. Here's his response in full:
After Kari's tweet went viral, people started sharing similar experiences they've had with similar crybabies.
Usain Bolt, three-time Olympic gold medalist, is simultaneously experiencing both the perks and the downsides of global celebrity status. Photos of the Jamaican sprinter, fresh off his Olympic wins and the day after his 30th birthday, in bed with a Brazilian woman who is not his girlfriend-of-two-years have gone viral. And the world is wagging fingers.
The world-famous sprinter reportedly spent one of his last nights in Rio out at a club where he was spotted dancing close with one woman, and making out with another. And the next day, 20-year-old Brazilian woman Jady Duarte sent pics of her in bed with Bolt to her friends on WhatsApp. Duarte's ex-bf is a Brazilian drug lord named "Lord of War" so maybe she's not the most trustworthy person? But apparently neither are her friends, because within hours, the pics had been leaked to the entire internet.
And they're pretty incriminating:
We don't know exactly what the deal is with Bolt's girlfriend back home, Kasi Bennett, pictured here with Bolt back in April:
Maybe it's an open relationship? Let's hope! Because since then, Bolt has been photographed partying with a different unknown woman on a night out in London.
This is interesting: it turns out that the New York State Supreme Court judge who threw out Kesha's appeal in her lawsuit against producer Dr. Luke and Sony had a pretty big conflict of interest, in that she's married to one of Sony's lawyers. Hmm. Apparently, Judge Shirley Kornreich's husband, Ed Kornreich, is a partner at a firm called Proskauer Rose, which has Sony/RCA as a client.
In April, Judge Kornreich dismissed the appeal Kesha had filed against Sony, in which Kesha requested to be released from her contract, alleging that her producer Dr. Luke (real name Lukasz Gottwald) had sexually assaulted her. Judge Kornreich said:
Although [Luke's] alleged actions were directed to Kesha, who is female, [her claims] do not allege that [Luke] harbored animus toward women or was motivated by gender animus when he allegedly behaved violently toward Kesha. . . Every rape is not a gender-motivated hate crime.
Kesha dropped the case against Sony in Los Angeles, but she's continuing her appeal in New York. On August 1, the performer posted on Facebook about the lawsuit, writing: "The lawsuit is so heavy on my once free spirit, and I can only pray to one day feel that happiness again."
My fight continues. I need to get my music out. I have so much to say. This lawsuit is so heavy on my once free spirit,...
It's been 10 years since Jon& Kate Plus 8 first aired, and this week Kate Gosselin told People that if she could go back and do it all over, she'd try to have fewer "meltdowns." But other than that, she has no real regrets (not even that haircut? Come on). In an interview with the magazine, Gosselin admitted:
If I could go back, I wouldn't spend so much time worrying about the messes and the obsessive compulsiveness and needing to be so in control. I would spend more time nibbling little feet and cuddling up. I worried about so many things I just didn't need to be worrying about when they were still so young, and I came on way too strong. I should have just rolled around on the floor some. I wouldn't have melted down as much.
Viewers of the show (and readers of tabloid headlines) will remember just how harried Gosselin usually seemed, but hi, she had EIGHT children. That's like an octopus made of kids. Gosselin had twins, and then she and her then husband Jon decided to try for one more child, only because of artificial insemination, that one more ended up being six.
How does a person even deal with having six babies at once? And then having life with those six babies (and two other young children) televised? So yes, Gosselin did seem a little uptight at times, but again, EIGHT CHILDREN (nine if you count her ex-husband Jon).
Parenting is hard. You're inevitably going to do or say something that makes your child mad, and often they're not going to be shy about letting you know they're upset with you.
Reddit user leability posted a note her cousin's young son, Owen, left his mom on one such occasion, with the caption, "My cousin got her mommy privileges revoked for the night."
The note reads:
Mommy,
Don't come read with me. I am mad at you. And I will tuck my own self in.
Senserly,
Owen
It's unclear what Mommy did to get banned from reading bedtime stories, but one thing is for sure: You do not want to mess with Owen.
It's a teacher's job to discipline kids when they act out, but is writing your name in cursive really "acting out"?? The internet has reacted strongly to the graded homework assignment of a 7-year-old girl named Alyssa from Kansas, who received a harsh message in red pen from her teacher. It reads:
Stop writing your name in cursive. You have had several warnings.
Yikes! Alyssa's mom, who lives in Kansas, apparently taught her daughter to write in the ancient art of cursive, probably without realizing it would elicit rage from her teacher. She shared a photo of the graded homework assignment with her friend, who shared it on Facebook.
Share this everywhere... Alyssa is 7!!! Not only is her mother a military veteran but, she took the time to teach her...
The photo has since been shared nearly a million times and received a number of angry comments from parents. One commenter wrote: "Best of luck to any teacher who writes this on my children's papers!"
Cursive may be on its way out of style, but it seems like an odd thing to warrant such a severe warning. Then again, we don't know the back story. Maybe the sight of cursive triggers bad memories for the teacher, who, like many of us, never quite mastered the loopy writing. Or maybe she was just having a really bad day.
Either way, little kids should probably be celebrated, not punished, for hand writing anything at all. Most of us adults can barely hold a pen anymore.
Singer and actress Bella Thorne has come out to the public as bisexual after sharing a video of her kissing a "mystery" woman earlier this week. Here's a clip of Thorne and her "friend," which she retweeted on Tuesday.
On Monday, the 18-year-old Disney star posted the video of the same sex kiss on Snapchat, and fans had a lot of questions. When one asked “are you bisexual?” the actress quickly tweeted her reply: “Yes."
Bella is recently single after splitting from actor Gregg Sulkin, 24. The two announced just last week that they were ending their relationship. “After much thought and soul-searching, we have made the difficult decision to end our relationship," they wrote in a joint statement.
So who is the "mystery woman" Bella was kissing? It turns out to be her BFF Bella Pendergast, who is also her brother Remy's ex-gf. The two have not revealed if they are dating, but Bella I called Bella II her "soulmate" earlier this month in a birthday tweet:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SOULMATE. So lucky to have you baby @bellapendergast
Whatever the future brings for these two friends or lovebirds, props to Bella for being out and proud! We support your life decisions. Except when they involve eating lemons like oranges. That's weird.
Doughnuts, Danishes, pancakes, and French toast. These are all delicious ways to ruin your diet before 10am, but what if you're one of those people whose sweet tooth is non-existent? If you're a lover of savory foods in the am here are some non-syrupy gourmet solutions for the most important meal of the day.
Maybe it's all the excitement over these Olympic swimmers' bodies, but #thighgap is being replaced with the healthier, more body positive, more sea-life-friendly #mermaidthighs.
The new hashtag has been trending all over Instagram and Twitter. The idea is, if your thighs touch, you look like you've been sealed together with a tail at the bottom like a sexy aquatic mermaid.
Not that it's bad if you naturally have a thigh gap, but that gap often has more to do with the shape of your pelvis than your physical health, and those with inward-pointing pelvi are glad the trend is finally turning in toward them.
As a woman goes through pregnancy, she grows a new organ called the placenta. The placenta essentially feeds and poops the baby, and after the mother gives birth, it comes sliding out with all the other sloppy goodies. To the following celebrities, the afterbirth is not a wet, do-not-google-image-it organ that looks like a bloody liver. It is a treasured gift. It is a snack. It is Mother Nature's care package.
A photo posted by Holly Madison (@hollymadison) on
Plenty of reputable media outlets spent 2013 reporting that a pregnant Holly Madison was “planning on having [her] placenta turned into pills [she] can take after giving birth.” Said Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend: “This might sound gross...I heard it helps women recover faster and I want to recover as quickly as I can!” Curiously, nobody seems to have checked back to ask her how it tasted. Which is fine, because that's why we have Tamera Mowry (#5).
A photo posted by January Jones (@januaryjones) on
January Jones is the first but definitely not last on this list to adamantly reject the Myth of Human Exceptionalism. “It’s something I was very hesitant about, but we’re the only mammals who don’t ingest our own placentas,” she said, before gobbling down her placenta. Yes, you will hear this argument again, and it's because celebrities respect the medical consensus of the animal kingdom.
A blog post called “You’re Not Gross” by the actress herself points out—told you so—that all other mammals “routinely ingest” this organ. It also argues against placenta-shaming. “I ingested my placenta. I am not a bad person, a crazy person, or a freak and neither is Alicia Silverstone or January Jones.” She notably did not mention Kim Kardashian.
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on
Celebrity blogger Kim Kardashian also wrote a post about her placenta dinner. A notable quote: “When I say ‘eat my placenta,’ I mean that I’m having it freeze-dried and made into a pill form—not actually fry it like a steak and eat it (which some people do, BTW)." Translation: Yeah, I eat placenta, but I'm not weird about it.
5. Tamera Mowry
After Tamera made her sister, Tia, drink her breast milk (my god), Tia apparently retaliated by making Tamera eat her placenta. It would appear she drank it through a tube, forgoing the more popular pill technique. Mowry did not seem as concerned with the health benefits as someone like January Jones, saying in horror, “Oh my god. I see residue.” Watch the video for her hot take on the taste.
A photo posted by Full Frontal with Samantha Bee (@fullfrontalsamb) on
A Babble post by Samantha Bee and her show's producer, Allana Harkin, is titled, "SAMANTHA BEE MADE ME EAT MY PLACENTA." And despite the caps-lock, it's not—as Bee points out—a Silence of the Lambs thing.
Bee says "it was like taking a mega dose of iron" that also gets you a little high, while Harkin invokes the golden rationale for this after-birth snack: "I think in nature, most mammals eat their placenta."
When in doubt, take a cue from the animal kingdom. Eat up.
While nudists and fishermen both share a love of nature, they should seldom be in the same place at the same time. A fly fisher, chillin by Kaisersee—a lake in Augsberg, Germany—hooked something large that could have been an eel or a snake, but was actually a penis.
Herbert Fendt was the unlucky nudist, who at first thought that he was caught in a patch of water plants, but looked down and saw a hook pierced straight through his penis.
The lake is a popular spot for nude recreation, which is reportedly big in Germany.
"I cried out to the fisherman ashore shouting do not pull, do not pull. I was terrified he was going to try to reel me in," Fendt said. He swam ashore and verified that he indeed had a huge penis piercing.
With the hook still in, Fendt went to the local hospital. "The doctor could understandably not suppress a small grin when he saw it," he adds.
Rather than apologize profusely for fishing his dick, the fisherman was incredulous:
The fisherman told me it is not an official bathing lake and he has the right to fish at the spot, which is marked by some signs. I tried to explain to him that he should take into account the many swimmers who use the lake, and that I am unaware of any official prohibition to swim here but he did not care.
It turned into such a big scandal that the president of the local fishing association, Sylvia Fischer had to get involved, saying:
"We fishermen can perfectly understand the situation. We all had at times a fishing hook pierced through one of our fingers, so we can imagine the incident was quite painful," she said.
"Of course, fishermen should pay attention to bathers, but as the lake is an official fishing lake, swimming is at own risk."
Any Friendsfan, or human who was alive in the 90s, associates the ubiquitous phrase "OH. MY. GOD." with one person in particular: Janice Litman Goralnik.
Chandler Bing's off-again, off-again girlfriend made such a big impression in season one, that the writers continued to bring her back at every one of Monica and Chandler's major life events.
To promote Friends Fest in London, where British fans of Chums can sing "Smelly Cat" in a recreation of Central Perk, Maggie Wheeler (Janice IRL) went on the morning show This Morning to dish on the fest and her time on set.
When not up in her nose, Wheeler's voice is pretty low, smooth and deep like she'd make a good 70s folk singer.
Wheeler created Janice's laugh as a safety net for if Matthew Perry made her crack up during filming.
“I thought, ‘This guy’s gonna make me laugh on set, I've gotta be prepared. What am I going to do?’ So I created Janice’s laugh just as a safety measure for when Matthew made me laugh," she said.
Here's to Wheeler for making us laugh, thankfully with a cackle less annoying than Janice's.
Naya Rivera, who played singing teen Santana Lopez on Glee, has been through a lot in her 29 years. In her upcoming memoir Sorry Not Sorry, the actress reveals that she struggled with anorexia as a teen, and also that she once took a day off from shooting Glee to have an abortion. Though abortion is legal in the US and not uncommon, it's rare for a public figure to acknowledge the procedure, so big ups to Rivera for her honesty.
The actress says in her book that while filming Glee back in 2010, she became pregnant. Her boyfriend (now husband), actor Ryan Dorsey, was the father. She says she didn't tell him, and made an appointment to terminate the pregnancy during her one day off from filming an episode of the show.
Of the experience, she told People:
“It was very scary to open up about everything... It’s not something a lot of people talk about, but I think they should. I know some people might read it and say, ‘What the Hell?’ But I hope someone out there gets something out of it.”
The couple has been married since 2013 and have an 11-month-old son together, named Josey.
A photo posted by Naya Rivera Dorsey (@nayarivera) on
Rivera also opens up in her book about battling an eating disorder as a teen, which she says she didn't realize was severe until she wrote about it. She told People:
"I was so young and it just seemed to be the norm. Everyone was going through similar stuff. I had no way of knowing if I was going through it worse.
Rivera added that she hopes her son, Josey, will read the book one day. "I hope it gives him a better perspective on the issues women face," she said. Three cheers for that!
Sarah Buller, a mom and former model from Australia, suffers from a condition called Primary Lymphadema. The condition caused her left leg to swell up to twice its normal size while she was pregnant – and it never went down. Now Buller is using her blog, The Lymphosaurus Rex, and her Instagram to help raise awareness of the condition, and to let other sufferers know they're not alone.
Buller said that her condition started in April of 2013 when she was pregnant with her first child. "I noticed some slight swelling in my left groin area and put it down to ‘normal pregnancy swelling,'" she wrote on her blog. "However, within a few weeks my whole leg had blown up, and I knew something wasn’t right.”
After multiple trips to the ER and undergoing various different tests, Buller was finally diagnosed with Primary Lymphadema months after her first pregnancy ended. She was frustrated by the lack of information about the condition available both from doctors and online, so she started The Lymphosaurus Rex as a way to share her story and raise awareness.
She seems happy now, but 12 years ago she was a Kindergartner apparently afraid to take a school ID. Now that she is an accomplished senior, she decided to honor her exit from the system by posing for her senior ID with a perfect throwback to her Kindergarten self.
The resemblance to her former self was so dead-on that it immediately went viral. Since posting the pic on Tuesday, it has been shared over 23,000 times and received 63,000 likes.
In the latest example of how truly evil some people are, SNLstar Leslie Jones' website was hacked and her personal files—including naked photos, her driver's license, and her passport—were leaked onto the web, according to TMZ.
Jones had previously been the target of racist and misogynistic abuse by a**holes in part because of her involvement in the all-female remake of Ghostbusters, but also because, you know, she's black and a woman. In case you're doubting that bigoted motives were behind the attack, the hacker apparently put a video of Harambe, the dead gorilla, on top of Jones' website. Comparing black women to apes, of course, is the oldest f*cking insult that white supremacist motherf*ckers continually employ.
Leslie Jones, you are 1000 times better than any of these inbred walking anuses, and I hope they get run over by a rocketship. I hope they choke on their own green poo and I hope they drown in a pool of used tampons and tetanus. I wish them a thousand dumb and humiliating deaths for their continued racist, sexist, hateful behavior toward you, a brave and hilarious woman just doing her own joyful thing. In conclusion, f*ck them with a whale harpoon.