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12 comics that perfectly illustrate what being in a long-term relationship is like.

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After about a year of dating, when you no longer to feel obligated to hold in your farts or wear a bra in front of your partner, you start to enter dangerous territory. You find yourself transitioning from being a person actively trying to impress your mate to the human equivalent of a blob fish. Long term relationships are a beautiful and disgusting thing, and these adorable comics prove it.

1. Suddenly, your cute matching pajama set is replaced by a 15-year-old oversized T-shirt with chocolate syrup stains that once belonged to your dad.

by Gemma Correll

2. Romance means something a little different than it used to when you started dating.

by Ryan Kramer

3. You are really good at sharing at this point. Or at least you pretend to be.

By Phillipa Rice, via her book Soppy.

4. Your bedtime ritual might be trailing off to the sound of your significant other rambling on, but that's okay.

#oursuperadventure ❤️❤️❤️

A photo posted by Carolina Couceiro (@cacouceiro) on

5. Things like shaving your legs suddenly become an occasion because you do them so infrequently.

By Sarah Andersen, creator of Sarah's Scribbles.

6. Speaking of things you do less frequently...

by Gemma Correll

7. But you still try to make the mundane exciting. You know, just to keep things spicy.

By Reza Farazmand, creator of Poorly Drawn Lines.

8. You get really comfortable around each other. Like, really, really comfortable.

A new #oursuperadventure #comic about being very comfortable around each other 💫💩💫💩💫

A photo posted by sarahgraley (@sarahgraley) on

By Sarah Graley for her Our Super Adventure series.

9. Maybe too comfortable?

Your boyfriend: kind of a jerk!

A photo posted by @dami_lee on

by Dami Lee

10. After time, you find that you start to adopt each other's likes and dislikes.

By Lingvistov

11. And you definitely learn when to keep your feelings to yourself (like when she is 3 hours into a Netflix binge and just needs to be left alone with her feelings).

Sometimes my wife's love isn't very expressive… . #hjstory #love #comic #art #couple #relationship

A photo posted by Official HJ-Story Instagram! (@hjstory.official) on

By Andrew Hou, who cartoons about life with his wife Kate.

12. And although you love when they are around, you can appreciate being alone in a whole new way.

By Sarah Graley for her Our Super Adventure series.


Teachers reveal stories of their worst students ever. You'll want to personally give them a raise.

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Teachers are responsible for our children for seven-odd hours a day. They teach them important skills and knowledge, and they help mold them into decent people and responsible citizens. Well, usually.

Not everybody can be helped. Some kids, like adults, are just jerks, and they make life a living hell for their teachers. A few particularly eloquent teachers took to Reddit to talk about the kids they just couldn't teach to not be awful.

1. Uglypants_Stupidface twice got caught in Dante's Inferno, the "Inferno" being farts and Dante's mother.

Dante. He was in my 10th grade English class. He was awful. He would call me over to ask questions, fart, and then laugh. He showed up maybe once a week or two, then complained that he was failing the class. When he was there, we got very little done because he was such a distraction.

But the moment that sealed the deal for me was a parent conference. All Dante's teachers were there. His mom was there. We went around and every teacher repeated the same basic tale - Dante rarely shows up, is a terrible distraction, is disrespectful, etc.

After the teachers explained the problem, Dante's mother turned to the guidance counselor and said "I don't understand why all these teachers are lying on my son."

2. User 1spring talks about that super-eager "adult student." It's professor.

I teach adults. She was a severe and chronic know-it-all. She would commentate non-stop through all of my lectures and demos. "Okay. I see. Well i knew that. I knew that too. I see. Is that how you're going to do that? Are you sure? I see. Okay. Wouldn't it be better this way? Fine. Okay. I see. Oh yes. I knew that. I knew that too." And on and on. I finally snapped and told her she was being rude to me. She emailed me the next day telling me that I owed her an apology.

3. User jjjmills shows that you shouldn't go into teaching if you can't handle being potentially burned alive.

One day we had a fire alarm (a real one--this happened often at this particular school). He was the last student out of the room and when he left he laughed in my face and slammed the door shut. He stood outside holding the doorknob so I couldn't get out. He wrenched or jacked the knob so hard that, once he fled the building, the doorknob didn't work any more. I was trapped in my classroom with the fire alarm going off and I couldn't call anyone to let me out because they had all gone outside with the students. So I sat there with my fingers in my ears (the fire alarm was VERY loud) for about an hour. Eventually I heard voices outside -- it was the firefighters responding to the call. I explained the situation through the door and they all had a good laugh, then they brought a custodian in to jimmy the door open. That was the worst day of my teaching career. And then of course the kids mocked me for it for weeks afterward. That kid was definitely the worst in terms of classroom behavior.

4. This story from cc_cyanotephra has everything a story needs: a mom, some water, floor repair, and, of course, fetal cats.

Obligatory not a teacher, but my mom is. One year she had a student who was failing because he hadn't turned in any of the work and missed a test or two.

The night before her big fetal cat dissection class (after she'd prepped the whole lab and had the fetal cats in the room) he and some friends broke into the school. They plugged the drains in all her sinks and the ones in the floor too then turned them all on. They also unwrapped the fetal cats, ripped them apart (??) and left them around the room. When people started arriving the next day they found the room underneath hers dripping water from the ceiling. Her room had about an inch of water and there were fetal cat parts everywhere apparently.

She still had to teach him for the rest of the semester. I forget what the punishment was but it wasn't anything major. They ended up having to rip out the floor and repair it that summer too.

5. Redditor prepfection had the good fortune to teach the only drummer in history aware of their actions.

As an early childhood music teacher, probably the kid who hit me with a percussion mallet and then laughed about it to his 3 year old compadres.

6. This hero teacher was nicer than she had to be with bonjourlepeen.

Kyle hated school, was a 17 year old eighth grader, and had 2 kids. Despite his awful treatment of me, I still held a book and clothes drive for his daughters, which completely shocked him. I should have given up.

He would come into class every day exclaiming "I have a stiffy!!!" And make comments about how badly I needed to "get fucked" if he was having a good day.

If he was having a bad day... I've tried to forget most of it. The worst was the day he refused to sit in his desk. He just wanted to lay on the floor and sleep. Because I asked him to get up three times and then began writing him up, I clearly deserved the tirade that followed.

7. Herpandderpmom has been a teacher too long to fall for the old "knife in the fly" trick.

Ist year teaching...not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I have never had a kid this bad since then. Very sticky fingers: stole stuff of no value to him like cheap used safety goggles. He was the sole reason they put cameras in the cafeteria because he was loading up his backpack with goodies, just to throw them away. His parents were called in numerous times, but they had some influence in the small town and he was "protected". Brought a knife to my class and hid it in his underwear, knowing no one would want to search his nasty shorts. Showed it to people by sticking it out of his fly. When I asked him to leave my class one day, he stood up, screamed "FUCK YOU" at the top of his lungs, went over to a corner, pissed in it and left. I (and my whole class) was speechless. It will not surprise you that he never did graduate and got kicked out of the military.

8. Bytie1 cuts to the chase.

just a wild idea here, but I'm thinking it was the one who stabbed me.

9. The school mrs_polamalu taught at would not stand for twerking at school events. English class was a different matter.

Had one student who, on the third day of school, backed his ass into my crotch and wiggled out some bump and grind dance moves. I wanted him expelled but his mother came in and, when I demonstrated (at her insistence), said, "Oh he just rubbed his behind on you? I thought he rubbed his front parts. This shouldn't be an issue." He got transferred to another section of the school.

10. Nixonrichard had a student who left him "O.K." (O.K. does not stand for "okay.")

A student of mine stabbed me in the back with a pair of scissors.

I have one kidney now.

11. Tatsukun's student was probably a future comedian.

No doubt, the "Handkerchief Prince". This was a Japanese university (a fairly good one too) and this one kid was the star pitcher in the baseball team. (he always wore this hanky hanging out of his back pocket, the girls and moms loved him). Well, he had to take my English class, and he had no reason to care about English. So every time it was his time to say something in English, he made animal noises. Like, real animal noises. One day he would choose dog, and the next horse.

I have to admit, the kid did a pretty good elephant impression.

12. For Pickles_the_Fire_Cat, teaching was a gas.

I had a student who would race to get up the stairs before me so he could fart and I would have to walk through the emitted gases. The look on his face was one of pure joy.

13. To be fair, GlennGlasglow, math is, like, so hard.

Calculus 1 in college. This student was a freshman going for an engineering degree. On one of the exams he left an answer as 144/3 when I clearly wrote in the directions to simplify to lowest terms. He argued for 20 minutes with me in my office that it wasn't fair to expect him to reduce that fraction because "144 is too big." He eventually ended up not passing the class.

Mom shares before and after photos of what a 'great day' at preschool does to a child.

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Mom and redditor boobafett13 got her daughter dressed up in an outfit she picked out herself and sent her out to her first day of preschool. They both had very high hopes.

Before:

Happy little girl

By the time she was ready to be picked up from the bus, however, her daughter wasn't there anymore. She'd been replaced by this girl who has been to hell and back.

After:

The playground, man, it was like a jungle.

What on earth could have happened there? Mom swears that despite her daughter looking like she spent the last few hours in the trenches, her daughter really had a great time at school.

"She actually had a great day and was really excited to tell me all about it." boobafet13 wrote. "The picture was just taken at the perfect moment."

She also claims her daughter's jacket is in her backpack, and not covered in juice and flung over a swingset.

Maybe that's true, but its clear when you look into this little girl's eyes, she's seen some things.

Those crayons... they were everywhere.

Thankless substitute teachers share the terrible things students put them through every day.

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Being a substitute teacher is the second-most thankless job in the world (right after full-time teacher). Imagine having to drop into the middle of somebody else's job and do it for them for a day or two, on the fly. And you're responsible for a bunch of kids, many of whom are actively trying to destroy you.

A few substitute teachers took to Reddit to talk about the worst day they ever had on the job… which, at least, were only temporary.

1. See, kipp, the thing about kids is that they're rude little sociopaths.

Obviously it could be way worse, but one of the students in the fourth grade class I was in asked me why I don't tan (school was just about to be let out for the summer, and they were talking about summer activities). I replied that it is not healthy, to which she said "You should do it anyways. You're so white it makes you look sick and it's scary."

2. User kassypassy apparently had to sub for a class one day before the lesson about how cat poop isn't edible.

I was subbing for a 1st grade class, so the kids are pretty young--around 7. After recess, a little boy in my class came running up to me covered in sand from the sandbox.

"Hey, Miss Kassypassy, I found an old peanut!" he told me excitedly and opened up his sand covered fist, in which he was holding a piece of old CAT POOP.

"Oh no, sweetheart, no no...that's cat poop, let's put that down and go wash our hands..." (At this point I'm somewhere between laughter and vomiting)

I saw a look of pure horror cross his face. As his eyes welled up with tears, he looked and me and asked in a whisper, "Is it ok to eat cat poop?"

3. They say that teachers give and give and don't get anything in return. Teacher NoahtheRed got something back from a student on his first day.

And then during the opening assignment (I wanted their names and first impressions of me so we could discuss as a group what the rest of the year would be like), a 14 year old girl puked all over my laptop. Five minutes in to my first day of my new post-college career and a 14 year old girl named Meegan (real name) puked up her entire breakfast all over my brand new laptop that I had been assigned literally not 20 minutes earlier. Good start.

4. Looks like cinnabon_sam fell for the old "I need to sharpen my pencil ruse" forgetting that kids do all their work on the computer these days.

I had a week long stint in a 7th grade language arts classroom after they had just fired the old substitute teacher (that had been there for 5 months). I came in, saw that the note he wrote me said "WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TALK TO BRITTNEY. DON'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HER." Pish-posh. I was, at the time, the best substitute teacher I knew. Anyway, I took attendance and when I called Brittney, the only white girl in the class, she just sat there. I called her name again, and that made her get out of her seat. Okay, cool...a reaction. I asked, just to be sure, if she was Brittney and she frisbeed a clip board that was attached to the wall at my face. Thankfully I ducked out of the way but it was terrifying. I sent her to the main office where she came back because she "didn't do nuthin". SURE. All things were going well the rest of the time she was in class, perhaps she just hated her name. Who knows. Well Brittney was being super nice, making me suspicious, but I still allowed her to get out of her seat to sharpen her pencil while I continued teaching. I turned my back to the board and I heard the kids saying "OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIIIIIIIIIT". Brittney had taken the pencil sharpener box thing that held the excess shavings, jumped on a kid sitting next to her, and poured it in his mouth all while shouting "SWALLOW STUPID BITCH!!! I KNOW YOU CAN!!" Brittney. A crazy bitch I am still afraid of.

5. Sub SemoMuscle should've been specific (and remembered that teens are the worst)

I was once watching a PE class while they walked around the track by the football field. A couple kids starting throwing rocks at each other, I told them to stop, they did. A few minutes later I hear a crash. They had started throwing rocks at the scoreboard and broke some of the lights on it. Their excuse was, and I quote, "You didn't say we couldn't throw them at the scoreboard."

MOTHERFUCKER YOU'RE IN HIGHSCHOOL, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THESE THINGS.

6. Wouachx forgot that kids just go nuts for anything with Paul Giamatti in it.

Not a sub now but was for several years. I did middle and high school and this particular time I went to one of the districts middle school to sub for 8th grade social studies. I got signed in, went to be room and stared to read the instructions for the day. The teachers instructions : "Play the movie on my desk."

Seemed simple enough except for the fact that there were two stacks of movies and DVDs. Not knowing which I should play I snagged the other social studies teacher for the 8th grade and she could t figure out what movie it was either. So as they were studying the revolutionary war, I suggested the HBO John Adams mini series, as it was on the teacher's desk. School was about to star and we were rushing. Neither of us had seen it but it was agreed that would be shown.

All was going well until a guy is tarred and feathered about 20-30 minutes in and there is full frontal male nudity. And this was shown in front of about 30 8th graders. I had to speak to the principal to explain because he started to get calls from parents because they were texting home. I didn't sub at hat school much more after that.

7. Redkiteflying was not pestered by the students to buy beer for them.

I substitute taught for two months while studying for the LSATs. Probably the worst part was the administrators, teachers, and students alike kept mistaking me for a student at the school.

I was 21 years old, and I was subbing at a middle school.

8. This tale from SactEnumbra is a common one, one we all experience. A tale of love, love lost, and a tiny rage monster.

My mom was a sub, 8th grader proposed to her (wtf?) and she said no, and the kid threw a desk at her.

9. Synapse74 hit a girl with a dodgeball.

The worst for me so far is being told by a girl in grade 8 to F off cause i hit her with a dodgeball...while playing dodgeball.

10. Yeah, Goobi420's father-in-law almost got lit on fire, but the kid shows an interest in science and he's a real self-starter.

I'm not a substitute teacher, but my father in law is. He told me once he was substituting an 8th grade class, and this boy crumbled up a ball of paper, soaked it in hand sanitizer, lit it on fire and threw it at the board.

11. User ch1088 could've used some of the hand sanitizer from that last story.

Took the kids out for recess. School is located near the lower class area of my town. The way the school is built each classroom has a door for access to the playground. On the way inside, I reach for the handle to go back into the room without looking, keeping my eye on the kids lining up/doing head count. I feel something sticky on my hand, and bam. Used condom, complete with cum inside and gross gnat-like bugs on it. I almost threw up right then and there.

12. AwkwrdGiraffez wasn't so much a substitute teacher as a temporary guard at a starter prison.

I'm 20. I was substituting in an "in school suspension" class for a high school last year, which I thought would be pretty chill since I had imagined i would just have to sit there all day while the kids tapped their pencils and stared at the clock. Well, it turns out I had a classroom full of 18 year old boys who were significantly taller and larger than I am. These boys were also in ISS for their behavior. So....with that being said...I sat there trying to get them to settle down, which wasnt going very well, and then suddenly the boys decided to pass the time by fist fighting one another for fun. Several boys surrounded my desk so that I couldn't get out to stop them. And they also took away the classroom phone so that I couldn't contact the principal or the security officer... The day went on as I helplessly watched several huge high school boys beat each other up for 8 hours. True story.

13. This story from wheretheroadmaylead is about how when the bright lights, office buildings, and mundane coffee shops of the big city are calling, one must answer.

When I was in 5th grade my mom was teaching another 5th grade class. This girl who we all knew was a little shit asks to go to the bathroom, and my mom didn't notice she didn't come back for a while since she was unfamiliar with the class. Sure enough, she ran away from school and made it to the center of town. Got caught since it's a really small town where everyone knows everyone, so someone who knew her drove by. It was a huge deal for quite some time.

14. User subbinginhell subbed in either a nightmarish class or the best action movie ever made.

One day I was subbing for a construction class. It was the week before midterms so the students were supposed to just be reviewing their textbooks and preparing for the written test. Keep in mind that this class contained only senior boys and when the class settled down, I was basically inhaling sexually frustrated hormones.

They obviously were having a hard time staying in their seats and studying and I was having a hard time getting them to behave. As I was trying to keep the peace, I failed to notice that one boy was trying to tie his buddy's shoelaces together. Once the kid realized that this was happening, he blew a gasket and flipped his desk onto the kid who was pulling the prank. The desk landed on his forehead, causing him to bleed pretty badly. Once the kid noticed the blood, he attacked the kid who flipped the desk. I got into the middle of the fight (which I am not supposed to do) and with the assistance of another student we broke up the fight. As I sent the bleeding kid to the nurse with another student, I kept the desk flipper in the room with me. BUT as the bleeding kid was leaving the room he all of the sudden grabbed one of those metal dust pans from the construction area and completely tomahawked it at the desk flipper. It created a gash that started no less than a centimeter from the bottom of his right eye all the way down to his jaw. He was GUSHING blood and lost two of his teeth. Of course I went into panic mode and of course the fucking phones didn't work. I ran to the nearest office and was shouting for 911 and nurses and administrators to come to the room. The desk flipper lost A LOT of blood. When he was rushed to the hospital, it looked like there was a homicide in my classroom. It took the custodians about a gallon of bleach to clean the whole mess up.

15. The worst day of teaching for misterdabson but you just know that the kid is still a legend at that school.

A student put eye drops in my water and I shit my pants in front of the class.

The Black Eyed Peas just updated 'Where is the Love?' with more modern tragedies.

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Back in 2003, the Black Eyed Peas made us all think about how horrible we are to each other with their song "Where is the Love?"

Well, it's been 13 years since the song first came out, and we are all still horrible to each other. So, the group decided to release an updated remix of the song to sing and rap about all the bad stuff going on in 2016. It also features a whole ton of people who would not have been relevant 13-years-ago.

ATTN: EXCLUSIVE: The Black Eyed Peas just decided the world needs the song "Where is the Love?" again.

Posted by ATTN: on Thursday, September 1, 2016

Among the A-List stars making cameos in the video are Kris and Kendall Jenner, Diddy, Tori Kelly, A$AP Rocky, Jaden Smith, DJ Khaled, Justin Timberlake, Mary J Blige, and Jamie Foxx.

Ah, nothing like Kris and Kendall singing about people suffering to help end suffering, right?

Here's The Black Eyed Peas talking about why they made the remake:

13 years later, The Black Eyed Peas and rest of the world are still asking, “Where Is The Love?” Like ATTN: on Facebook.

Posted by ATTN: on Tuesday, August 30, 2016

All jokes aside, the video and the updated song send a powerful message. It shows how little has changed in the past 13 years, and that now more than ever we have to come together if we want to achieve any semblance of peace.

Now do an update on "My Humps."

Michael Phelps talks Phelps Face, Baby Boomer, and Lochtegate on 'Fallon.'

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After going wild for Jimmy Fallon's VMA appearance as Ryan Lochte, Michael Phelps actually hung out with Jimmy Fallon on "Jimmy Fallon."

First, of course, they talked about the pregame grimace seen 'round the world, the #PhelpsFace now immortalized all over the internet, and some Canadian guy's leg. Because he was no stranger to the ready room, Phelps sensed that the face was caught on camera and boy was he right.

The two then talked about Rio after the races, and that one Swim Bros Night Out that he wasn't invited to.

He then delved into his retirement plans, which include making sure baby Boomer (the cool name he also defends) is the baddest baby on Instagram.

Papa Phelps does all of Boomer's posting and captioning, which included a backstage shot (#dontbejelly).

Yep! Got to hang out with @jimmyfallon before my daddy went on the show! #dontbejelly

A photo posted by boomer phelps (@boomerrphelps) on

And finally, the greatest Olympic athlete of all time indulged Fallon in a game even messier than swimming, Egg Russian Roulette.

He was surprisingly afraid to get wet.

Beyoncé got a dog. This is not a drill.

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Everyone HOLD UP. Stop what you're doing. This news cannot wait. There is a new member of the royal family (no, not William and Kate). It seems that the other royals, Beyoncé, Jay-Z, and Blue Ivy, have welcomed a dog into their palace. (Do they live in a palace? I just assume that they live in a palace.) Anyway, look at this li'l fluff nugget!

Beyoncé & Blue out and about in NY – Aug. 31

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beylite) on

I know nothing about this dog. Is it a boy or a girl prince or a princess? What's its name? What's its favorite brand of organic, free range dog food? What's its favorite diamond-studded chew toy? Who designed its collar? I don't know. But, you guys. Beyoncé has a dog!

Beyoncé & Blue out and about in NY – Aug. 31

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beylite) on

Just imagine all the adventures this pup is going to have! Peeing on a custom-made golden fire hydrant! Chewing up the leather seats on a private jet! Licking himself backstage at concerts! What a life it has in store!

Ugh. I'm just so thrilled.

The top 39 tweets of the week as picked by someone who loves tweets and only tweets.

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Trump visited Mexico, Rihanna admitted her love for Drake, and everyone felt a bit melancholy thinking about summer ending. Enjoy tweets on those topics, plus jokes about hot singles, Yiddish curse words, and more, in the top 39 tweets of the week:

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A student accused of sexual assault is suing his school on the grounds of an 'anti-male bias.'

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A student from the University Of Chicago is suing his school under Title IX on the grounds of an "anti-male bias." The student, who has been accused of sexual assault in 2014 and 2016 by two different women, is choosing to remain anonymous.

That sounds...

The accused rapist, referred to as "John Doe" in the lawsuit, is seeking $175,000 in damages from the University Of Chicago, accusing the University of creating a "gender biased, hostile environment against males." This is following two rape accusations from women referred to as "Jane Doe" and "Jane Roe" in the case.

Along with the University, John Doe is also suing Jane Doe for defamation after she tweeted about the alleged assault after finding out that John Doe would be allowed to direct a production of The Bald Soprano at the school.

In May 2016, John Doe served a cease and desist letter and filed a Title IX complaint against Jane Doe for her tweet, but the university did not grant his request to take action. John Doe also says that Jane Doe is upset over his sexual involvement with Jane Roe, prompting her to take legal action against him. He also believes that he has been subjected to disciplinary proceedings simply because he is a man.

You can read the entire lawsuit here and determine for yourself if there is something to this case or if it is just another glaring example of male entitlement.

PS, did you know that Brock Turner got out of jail today?

Watch a live performance of a 'Hamilton' song that got cut from the show.

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"Ham4Ham" has come to an end (for now, at least), and for the final hurrah, Renée Elise Goldsberry, who won the Tony for her performance as Angelica Schuyler, sang a song that Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote for the show and had to cut before Hamilton made it to Broadway.

And let me tell you, this song has EVERYTHING—sass, belting, Peter Dinklage's brother playing violin (for real) and Renée unapologetically wearing a denim mini skirt as if 2006 was not ten-years-ago.

In case you've never heard of "Ham4Ham": Hamilton is constantly sold out, so creator Lin Manuel Miranda put together a mini-concert series that takes places outside the theater twice a week before performances.

Cast members and celebrities, like Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Patti Lupone, and Jonathan Groff, ​ have all performed, and it wraps up with a lottery for ten dollar tickets to the show.

Oh, and fun fact? Goldsberry is 45. Let that sink in.

This song about the trans bathroom issue is for kids but it's adults who need to watch it.

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There's finally a song about the trans bathroom issue that perfectly explains how important it is to be able to use the bathroom that matches your gender, regardless of the sex you were assigned at birth. With music! And dancing! And funny animals!

It's technically a children's song. But it's adults, especially parents and legislators, who need to hear it the most (because kids are born with open minds).

Especially lines like: “Pee is pee, Poo is poo. Me is me, You is you.”

The song was written and sung by children's musician "Mr. Loops" aka Jon Lewis, who also directed the video. It's super catchy so you might end up singing "Pee is pee, Poop is poo" around the office but THAT'S OKAY. Because it's true.

The issue of whether transgender people should be forced to use the bathroom of the gender they were assigned at birth, instead of the gender they identify with, has been widely debated throughout the country in the past year.

Especially after North Carolina passed a controversial bill in March that requires people to use the bathroom which aligns with their birth gender, even though these kinds of restrictions have been found to pose a threat to the safety of transgender people.

As the song also wisely points out: porta potties have been gender-neutral all along, as well as private bathrooms, and no one's making a fuss about that.

Now go play this song for every child and adult you know who's confused about how bathrooms work. There are surprisingly a lot of them.

Beauty editor shares their weight in Twitter bio, inspires a movement.

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Sam Escobar, makeup artist and beauty editor at Good Housekeeping (who identifies as neither male nor female and prefers gender-neutral pronouns), has their height and weight listed in their Twitter bio . In a series of tweets on August 16, Escobar explained why. Escobar, who has struggled with the eating disorder bulimia for 14 years, hopes that being forthright about basic measurements will help turn the focus of beauty blogs and magazines away from its obsession with weight and size. After all, they're just numbers, nothing more, nothing less.

Escobar told Us Weekly, "[W]e’re told to sort of conceal that number as though it’s a secret unless you’ve lost weight. I thought, 'Hey, why am I always so anxious to tell people how much I weigh when it’s just a number?'"

Their message of body positivity resonated with other folks on Twitter, who began tweeting selfies and including their height and weight, too. Speaking to Us, Escobar said, "I love that people were circulating positivity to each other. I’ve received a lot of [messages] from people telling me that seeing so many different bodies, including a range of sizes and shapes, has made them feel more comfortable with their own sizes and less alone."

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'Girls' would have been totally different if Amy Schumer had gotten this role.

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Before she was the star of Inside Amy Schumerand a million thinkpieces, Amy Schumer was just a comedian and actress going on auditions like a million other comedian and actresses. One of those auditions was to play Shoshanna on Girls, the character Lena Dunham describes as an "an innocent Juicy Couture lover obsessed with emoji."

I interview my sister my mother my baby child my heroine @amyschumer today on @lennyletter!!!

A photo posted by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

"I first met Amy Schumer almost six years ago when she came in to audition for the role of Shoshanna on Girls (trivia deep dive! Wild!)," Dunham wrote in Friday's Lenny Letter interview. "Everyone in the room was stunned by the detail and skill of her improv, the wild talent radiating off her (and I was personally intrigued by her breasts)."

While Schumer wasn't right for the frenetic, virginal Shoshanna, "when she left the room, the vibe was very 'Someone give that lady a show, STAT!'"

Dunham and the Girls crew couldn't get her off their minds, and cast Schumer as the BFF of Adam's new GF in season two. (The role of Shosh went to celebrity spawn Zosia Mamet.)

While Schumer might not be a Shoshanna, Dunham still didn't say whether or not she is a Hannah, Jessa, or Marnie. (My money's on Jessa.)

The two pop culture pillars of feminism discussed the Met Ball, the "plus-size" label, and the controversy over comedian Kurt Metzger mocking rape victims.

Read the full interview over at Lenny Letter.

This parent is getting right back into the groove of school drop-offs.

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School is back in session, and it's almost as much work for the parents as it is for the kids. Most school-aged students don't get up, dressed, and drive to school all on their own, so being late is a collaboration with the parents.

Redditor Colileoh's friend was running late to drop their kid off at school, winning the "bad parent race" that morning (the winner in the race is the person who goes the slowest), and then made it official by signing the school's late sheet.

Under "reason for being tardy," the funny parent simply wrote "bad parenting."

People shared their own parents' excuses in the comments.

"If my dad dropped us off late to school he would write 'My children are late because they are not on time,'" wrote cat-ninja.

IKFA added, "'You can tell they're late, by the way that they are.'"

Be brutally honest. We shall not be tardy-shamed.


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The 'Daily Mail' sort of retracts story about Melania Trump being an escort.

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Paper of record-amounts-of-garbage The Daily Mail has issued a kind of retraction after being sued for defamation by Melania Trump, wife of extremely unofficial ambassador to Mexico Donald Trump.

On Thursday, Melania filed a lawsuit against the tabloid's parent company and blogger Webster Griffin Tarpley, claiming the paper's August 19 article about her—"Racy photos, and troubling questions about his wife's past that could derail Trump"—was false and defamatory. The article suggested, among other things, that a modeling company Melania worked for was also an escort service for high-end clients.

Do those look like the bell sleeves of a one-time escort?

The complaint states:

The conduct of Daily Mail was despicable, abhorrent, intentional, malicious and oppressive, and thus justifies an award of punitive damages.

Wait, isn't that every Daily Mail article?

The Daily Mail's September 1 retraction said basically "sorry not sorry." They claim they never said the rumors about Melania's past were true, only that said rumors—based on an article published in Slovenian magazine Suzy and not much else—might negatively affect her husband's campaign.

Come on, Melania, give them a break. Spreading a rumor they know might be false and ruining someone's life while qualifying it with concern trolling is their entire business model. And you Trumps love supporting businesses, right?

Airplane evacuated after woman finds a mysterious vibrating cylindrical device.

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Air travel! It's always an adventure. On Monday evening, a Southwest flight was taxiing down the runway in Baltimore when a passenger reached into the seat pouch in front of her to find a mysterious six inch gold cylindrical device. "What could it possibly be?" none of us wonder.

The passenger immediately alerted flight staff, who stopped the plane. The flight was then evacuated and search teams checked the aircraft thoroughly but did not find any threats. Passengers were then searched before they re-boarded, and the flight took off and arrived at its destination in Denver.

So what was the mysterious device?? Obviously we're all thinking "It's a vibrator. Duh." But no, it was actually a vibrating anti-wrinkle device called a "Bar 24k Golden Anti-aging Skin Roller" which is reportedly a hot selling item in Japan and Taiwan. Pictured here:

Nothing to see here. Definitely not a vibrator.

Okay, sure. It's an anti-wrinkle device. And the Hitachi magic wand is a back massager.

Officers could not return the device to its owner, who remains unknown, so it is currently being held by aviation police who say they're "not sure what to do with it right now." Maybe they should use it on their skin to prevent the (natural) effects of aging? JK. Store that thing away in a plastic bag, because it's a vibrator.

Thank God, the official Song of the Summer is actually good.

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Our long national nightmare is over. After one too many years of totally wretched songs taking the top spots on the charts during the summer, the most listened to song from this summer was "One Dance," by Drake featuring Wizkid and Kyla, according to The Official Chart Company's data. And it's a pretty good tune!

Yes, there are better Drake songs (if only "Hotline Bling" was released right before the season began!); yes, part of you was hoping for "Broccoli" or "No Problem" or hell, even "This Is What You Came For." But look. Last year the consensus was that we did not even have a Song of the Summer. The year before that, Iggy Azalea's "Fancy" dominated. Before that, admittedly catchy borderline-rape anthem "Blurred Lines." You have to go back to "Call Me Maybe" in 2012 to find a lovable Song of the Summer, and even that is controversial.

"One Dance" has a lot going for it—it melds Caribbean-influenced R&B and hip-hop in a fun Drake-y way. It's moody and sexy and light, you can totally grind up on a stranger to it in the club. Also, it's a song by one participant in the most important love story of our time, which is a bonus.

Still, of course, it's not this:

Or this:

Or this:

And it's definitely not this:

But oh well! It's Drake and that's way better than Robin Thicke.

The 23 funniest Twitter reactions to the Latinos For Trump founder's warning about 'taco trucks on every corner.'

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On Thursday night, the founder of Latinos For Trump, Marco Gutierrez, asserted during an interview on MSNBC that unless America elects Donald Trump as its next president, we face a very real and very delicious danger:

"My [Mexican] culture is a very dominant culture," Gutierrez warned. "And it is imposing, and it is causing problems. If you don't do something about it you are going to have taco trucks on every corner."

At which point basically everyone in America wondered simultaneously, "And the problem is?" I mean, look at Joy-Ann Reid's face.

Here are 23 of the internet's best reactions to the utterly serious threat of a taco invasion.

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