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Gee, what could Trump have meant by saying Clinton lacks 'a presidential look?'

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OMGee willikers, what could Donald Trump have meant when he said Hillary Clinton"doesn't have a Presidential look"?

When asked in an interview on Good Morning America Tuesday what he had meant by saying Hillary Clinton "doesn't look presidential," Trump said, "I really do believe that." He continued: "Well I just don't think she has a presidential look. And you need a presidential look. You have to get the job done," explaining literally nothing.

Is he talking about this Hillary Clinton? Lover of pant suits? She with the face that screams, "I'm President!" (metaphorically, and probably sometimes literally when behind closed doors)?

It's highly plausible that the guy who trolled his Republican opponent for her appearance and said Megyn Kelly had "blood coming out of her whatever" thinks Hillary's "look" is one too many X-chromosomes away from being "presidential."

Or maybe he just meant she wears too much neon (he didn't). Either way, there are plenty of reasons to vote for the next leader of the free world that have nothing to do with their "look." But if you're voting on looks alone, here are your choices:

a) The one on the left (the one on the right is not running again unfortunately)

Happy birthday, President Obama.

A photo posted by Hillary Clinton (@hillaryclinton) on

or b) This one.

Choose wisely.


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Article 11

HIDDLESPLIT!

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Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift, the couple collectively known as Hiddleswift, have #Hiddlesplit, reports Us Weekly. According to the tabloid, the #Hiddlesplit happened because "It was an intense start. No one can keep that kind of momentum going."

"Hiddlesplit," of course, is the phrase that everyone is using to describe this alleged breakup. We are quickly working to trademark it, so if you have a background in U.S. patent law please email Hiddlesplit@someecards.com. We invented the phrase #Hiddlesplit, in particular Someecards editor Johnny McNulty, and we deserve 100 percent of the royalties and merchandising profits.

But, as always, this entire relationship could have been faked.

'I Will Always Love You' is heart-shattering in a minor key.

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YouTube's master of the macabre minor key cover, Chase Holfelder, has turned his sights on the usually soul-lifting "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston (ok, originally Dolly Parton) and made it into a depressed ballad that sounds almost as stalker-y as "Every Breath You Take." Forget the forbidden love of The Bodyguard, this song indubitably comes from the perspective of someone whose love is brutally unrequited.

In addition to the key shift, Holfelder has also become much bolder as a cover artist, adding in additional musical elements to make the version his own. If you enjoyed this, check out his version of "Kiss The Girl" from TheLittle Mermaid soundtrack.

You can now get brunch at Starbucks, but why would you do that?

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Starbucks is beginning to roll out brunch dining options, and the first person to order a Pumpkin Spice Latte at their Starbucks brunch gets a prize for Basic-est B*tch! Ok, that prize part isn't true, but Starbucks is trying out a weekend-only menu that includes waffles with blueberries and syrup, fancy quiche, and baked French toast. Doesn't it look good?

Brunch test at Mill Creek Towncenter. Yum! @alex_thefrench @starbucksmctc Thanks Jason!

A photo posted by Beth Kennedy (@lilymbk) on

Even though I live in a big city now, I have lots of sympathy for people for whom Starbucks is the "fancy" coffee shop in town—I grew up around farmland and it was a huge deal when a Starbucks opened up in the neighboring town. But even then, I don't think I would have gone to a Starbucks to have a full sit-down meal of food that probably wasn't very good. Grab a sandwich from Starbucks? Definitely. Meet my friends there for brunch? Definitely not.

When I eat a Starbucks brunch item, as I predict I will, it will probably be when I'm alone and bleary-eyed at an airport, waiting for a connecting flight, breaking a plastic fork on a quiche. Voila, brunch.

Science says your love of gin & tonics may mean you're a sociopath.

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A recent study suggests that people who prefer foods and drinks with bitter tastes are more likely to be psychopaths. Specifically, gin and tonics were one of the bitter drinks preferred by those with antisocial personality traits. In this case, "antisocial" doesn't mean they hate parties, it means they're more likely to be selfish, narcissistic or sadistic.

The study, which will be published in the journal Appetite, measured preferences for sweet, sour, salty, and bitter foods. They then compared those preferences with participants' answers to questions like "I have threatened people I know" and "I tend to manipulate others to get my way." Evolutionarily speaking, bitter foods are associated with toxins, so psychos may simply like the thrill of eating and drinking things that cause a brush with death (or give you a sweet buzz).

So, if the person you're with orders a gin and tonic, don't be surprised if they try to manipulate you into picking up the tab. If they do both those things and also mention how much they like your skin, look for the nearest exit.

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton shared their agonizingly cute Labor Day on Snapchat.

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Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton had a pretty kicka*s Labor Day with the kids, and they shared it with us via Snapchat. They probably didn't do it just to make exes Gavin Rossdale and Miranda Lambert jealous, but if they did, it probably worked. Just look at these happy famous people.

They're so in love, they do that super gross corny thing where they wear matching outfits.

Hi Gx

A photo posted by Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) on

We'd be gagging if they weren't so cute. Blake even let Gwen's youngest, Apollo, drive the boat.

We get it, you're happy! Good for them. Really, really good.


The funniest Twitter reactions to #Hiddlesplit and Taylor Swift having a blank space again.

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With the news that Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift might have broken up, all of Twitter is abuzz about #Hiddlesplit, the name for the breakup that we coined and won't shut up about. Here are the funniest reactions.

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7. (Please everyone like my friend Matt's tweet so his best performing tweet is about the #Hiddlesplit, I think that would be funny.)

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10. And then, the most thoughtful burn of all, by none other than Spencer f*cking Pratt of The Hills, implying that the relationship was faked:

Trump's new deputy campaign manager, David Bossie, is somehow his craziest hire yet.

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Donald Trump's campaign headquarters continues to be a safe space for people cast out of Republican politics for being too vicious or insane, like notorious Clinton conspiracist David Bossie. Bossie is best known for being fired from Congress at Newt Gingrich's insistence for doctoring tapes of Hillary Clinton during the Whitewater investigation. Yes, fired by late-90s Newt Gingrich for dirty tricks during a Clinton investigation. George H.W. Bush, the candidate who ran the Willie Horton ad, called Bossie "the lowest form of life." He's also directly responsible for Citizens United, the Supreme Court case that let unlimited corporate money enter politics.

Bossie first rose to national prominence in 1992 for harassing the family of Susann Coleman—who committed suicide in 1977 while seven months pregnant—in the hopes of tying her to Bill Clinton. Working for an independent pro-Bush committee, Bossie helped circulate an anonymous letter to hundreds of news outlets alleging that her unborn child was Clinton's. Susann had been Clinton's law student. The family repeated multiple times to press that there was "no truth" to the then-anonymous letter and that it was "a nasty hoax."

Bossie and an ex-cop from DC tried repeatedly to extract Susann's suicide letter from her family, who refused. Most disturbingly, the two followed Coleman's mother to the hospital where her husband was recovering from a stroke. They entered his hospital room and, posing as investigators, interrogated them about their daughter's 15-year-old suicide. This episode was distasteful enough that President Bush put as much distance between himself and Bossie as possible, calling it "filthy tactics" and "nefarious" when it was reported on CBS. His son, George W. Bush, even wrote supporters a letter urging them to stay away from Bossie.

But that didn't really harm Bossie's career, since his career was dirty tricks, and he was hired as an investigator by Rep. Dan Burton, the most fanatic of Clinton's GOP enemies in the House in the 1990s. Dan Burton famously shot a melon in his back yard and cited the sound he heard as proof Hillary and Bill must have shot Vince Foster.

In the end, Burton fired Bossie at Gingrich's demand when Bossie was caught editing audiotapes of a call between Hillary Clinton and Webster Hubbell, a former Arkansas attorney general who was in jail for fraud, to make her appear guilty in the Whitewater scandal. Bossie apologized in an open letter to the GOP and accepted full responsibility.

So, naturally, Bossie went to work for Citizens United, where he created Hillary: The Movie, the propaganda film that directly sparked the infamous Citizens United case and opened up unlimited corporate political spending.

Bossie joins Steve Bannon, the former chairman of Breitbart News, Roger Ailes, the recently disgraced head of Fox News, platinum-blonde conspiracist Roger Stone, and such illustrious alumni as dictator lobbyist Paul Manafort and journalist-grabber Corey Lewandowski. He also joins the shadowy money of the Mercer family (hedge funds) and casino magnate Steve Wynn, whose influence is widely credited with Trump's recent staffing changes.

The 19 funniest Twitter responses to the Trump Tower climber.

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On Wednesday afternoon, a man named Stephen Rogata tried to climb Trump Tower in Manhattan, but was taken down by police after an hours-long standoff.

Obviously, the internet was transfixed by this spectacle. Here are the 19 funniest reactions!

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Claims have been made that this is Stephen Rogata explaining his actions, but as of publishing, that has yet to be confirmed:

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Company turns kids' drawings into kids' clothing.

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A new clothing start-up, Picture This, lets kids everywhere send in their drawings and turns them into real clothing items. Oddly, considering how bad kids' drawings are (it's ok, your kids aren't reading this), they look pretty good as clothes.

Zia rocking her #PictureThisClothing dress! #picturethis #iamzia #fashion #fashionblogger #kids #kidart

A photo posted by Picture This Clothing (@picturethisclothing) on

Jaimee Newberry, founder of Picture This, said in a post about the origins of the company...

We’ve created a simple, printable coloring book style template, where kids can doodle, stick stickers, paste pictures, and do any other kind of fun hands-on creative arts and crafts things they can dream up. Parents take a photo of the artwork (easiest with a smartphone), place the order from our site, and we send back a custom cut-and-sewn article of clothing.

Gigi in the #pusheen inspired Picture This Clothing dress, drawn by her #bff, Zia! #picturethis PictureThisClothing.com

A photo posted by Picture This Clothing (@picturethisclothing) on

Newberry thinks this is a great way for kids to use their organization to create fashion. The company also offers drawings turned into doll clothes. (This is a great idea for most kids, unless they're like me as a kid and kept drawing topless mermaids for some reason, which does not make a great shirt.)

So, if you're convinced your kid is the next Picasso, maybe they can be the next Donna Karan, too.

Vicious cycle.

Kylie Jenner feuds with 'Dr. Fat Off' over billboard model who looks suspiciously like her.

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Dr. FatOff, a fat freezing service (not freezing like saving for later, freezing as a way of removing), has responded to Kylie Jenner's claims that the model they used on their billboard looked too much like her, and their response is basically the written version of a middle finger.

Have you seen our billboard? #doctorfatoff #coolsculpting

A photo posted by Doctor Fat Off (@doctorfatoff) on

The two women do look alike, in that both are human females with long dark hair, but Dr. FatOff's response to Jenner's complaint explains that the model, an aspiring model and singer of Latina and Indian descent named Cassandra, wasn't chosen for her supposed resemblance to Jenner but because she is actually the daughter of one of the company's managers.

Dirty Peach Lips. Link in bio 🍑

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Ed Meyer, a representative for Dr. FatOff, told TMZ that the billboard is staying up.

It's a good thing, though, that Dr. FatOff went into this line of work, because with a name like his, his professional options seem limited.


Channing Tatum achieves his dream of becoming Simone Biles' human trophy case.

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It is pretty much impossible not to love Simone Biles, the breakout star of the US Women's Gymnastics Team who won about a bajillion medals during the 2016 Rio Olympics. Among her sea of adoring fans is Magic Mike star Channing Tatum, who loves Simone so much that he is willing to quit acting to devote his life to being Biles' human display case for her medals. Watch him and Biles fangirl over each other on loop on this episode of Ellen.

Tatum probably gets objectified a lot, but this is next level.

First a kiss from Zac Efron and now this? Soon Biles will have enough Hollywood actors at her feet to assemble an army. A hot, toned army.

Desperate dad uses A/B testing to get his newborn twins to sleep more.

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Sleep-deprived parents will try anything to get their babies to sleep more. One dad tried to make that trial-and-error process a little more methodical by applying the principles of A/B testing to his newborn twins.

They're not tired.

Tyler Lund described in a post on Medium how he applied the same tactics used by companies like Google and Apple to figure out what appeals to customers. First, he'd try feeding one baby more right before bedtime, using the other baby as a control. If it worked, the larger number of ounces became the control, and then Lund would introduce another variable: an earlier or later bedtime, or keeping one baby awake more during the day. Lund and his wife kept track of everything in a giant spreadsheet—just looking at it will make you tired.

Just normal new dad stuff.

So what big conclusion did Lund draw? Well, nothing, really. Of course, with the way newborn babies are constantly changing and growing, it's almost impossible to train them to do anything consistently.

Lund realizes this. He wrote:

I think the point was that pretty much nothing works, but it’s fun to try. Infants do what they want, when they want, and the best we can do is try to hold on.

Also, coffee.

Ariana Grande confirms relationship with Mac Miller in sickly sweet Instagram.

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Well, it's Instagram official—Ariana Grande and Mac Miller are dating. On Tuesday, the 23-year-old singer posted a picture of herself and the rapper (whose real name is Malcolm James McCormick) play-wrestling on the floor and captioned it "baabyyy" (the extra vowels mean the love is extra real).

baabyyy

A photo posted by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on

Grande and her boyfriend of a year, Ricky Alvarez, broke up in August, and speculation about Grande and Miller started after they appeared together at a few recent events (on dinner dates, the VMAs, holding hands at an airport).

Not only are they definitely together, Grande allegedly told Hollywood Life that Miller is the "sexiest guy" she's ever dated. Good for her! Not so good for Ricky Alvarez. Ouch!

Amy Schumer deleted a racist tweet about men of color and catcalling.

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A deleted Amy Schumer tweet is the latest in a string of summer controversies for her and fellow comedian Lena Dunham, after a professor tweeted Schumer about misogyny and she responded.

Schumer's since-deleted comment follows a Lena Dunham controversy regarding football player Odell Beckham Jr. In conversation with Schumer, Dunham talked about an experience she had at an event with Beckham, and guessed at his inner monologue upon meeting her:

"The vibe was very much like, Do I want to fuck it? Is it wearing a... yep, it's wearing a tuxedo. I'm going to go back to my cell phone."

As many pointed out, these comments were, um, weird and racist.

Many are doing the same with Schumer's (deleted) tweet, pointing out that the idea that men of color catcall more than white men is a lie.

While Dunham eventually apologized for her comments, she first called out the "outrage machine" that accompanies her controversies.

Schumer probably agrees, but she might owe her fans a bigger apology besides just pushing the delete button.

Dude entertains IKEA's Facebook with the story of how his testicle got stuck in a chair.

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A Norwegian man got testy with IKEA on Facebook when his testicle got stuck in one of their chairs, proving that there's something even worse than assembling: disassembling.

Claus Jørstad, father of three and testicle owner of two, wrote a long account of the agony on IKEA Norge's Facebook page. Jørstad kept IKEA's Marius chair in the shower until recently, when "I realized the little nutter has got stuck."

Heisann! Kjerringa dro mæ på ræk i hele søkksvære butikken dokkers, som va omtrent like stor som kjæften til naboen da...

Posted by Claus Jørstad on Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Jørstad referred to his genitalia under attack as "Popeye and the two boatsmen," according to the Daily Dot. As the hot water increased his body temperature, his nuts expanded, and one got stuck in the chair.

"I couldn't move, I started pondering how the hell I was gonna get outta the mess," wrote Jørstad on Facebook (as translated by the Daily Mail). "After a lot of pondering forth and back, I realized I had no bloody ideas."

"The water got cold. Even more cold than my mother-in-law’s smile when I married her daughter," Jørstad added.

The cold water blessed him with shrinkage, and Jørstad and his testicle broke free.

IKEA Norway responded with sympathy:

Hey Claus. We recommend that you take the stool out of the shower...if you choose to keep it in the shower, make sure you are well dressed for your next sea excursion.

Jørstad updated his fans that he has since placed a towel over the chair.

He has also moved it out of the shower and uses it as a stand for a penis-shaped plant.

Instead of asking IKEA for a refund, Jørstad asked if it comes in another color.

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