What turns women on? This is one of the greatest mysteries in the universe. No it isn't. But that hasn't stopped researchers from trying to figure it out. Who needs cures for diseases, right? Here are 5 crazy things women are attracted to according to science.
1. A ten-day-old beard.
Give your razor a rest this weekend. According to a 2013 Australian study, the most attractive beard length is "heavy stubble," which is approximately 10 days of growth. Bushy beards, light stubble, and clean shaven faces were not ranked as attractive. It goes back to our caveman days, says science writer Rik Myslewski, "Beard quality, thickness, and fullness would signal to potential mates that he was sexually mature and prepared for fatherhood." These days it just shows us he's prepared to store some leftover food in there.
2. The smell of candy.
Throw away your ax body spray. A scientific study found the scent women were most turned on by is Good & Plenty, aka the shitty licorice candy that looks like pills. Best smelling runners up were a combination of Licorice and cucumber, which caused a 13% increase in vaginal blood flow, and a combination of lavender and pumpkin pie increased vaginal blood flow by 11%.
The smells that turned women on the least were cherry and charcoal barbecue smoke. This is the worst news my Dad has gotten since he found out I wasn't using my college degree.
3. A deep voice.
A study published in the journal of Personality and Individual Differences says that women are more attracted to guys with deep voices. Before you go all Darth Vadar on your girl, you should know the study also found that women perceived men with deep voices as being more likely to cheat on them. What up with that?
4. A long... ring finger.
Sorry Donald Trump, long fingers make women crazy horny. A recent scientific study showed that the longer a man's ring finger is compared to his index finger, the more women will think he's attractive and manly. If your fingers are stubby, blame your mom. A man's ring finger length is determined by the amount of testosterone he was exposed to in the womb.
7. Not your dong.
If you needed another reason not to send a dick pick, a study on female desire, found that women were more turned on by watching two apes bone than they were watching a muscular man walking on the beach with a flaccid penis. It turns out that a limp dong doesn’t do much for the lady libido, regardless of how hot the rest of the dude is. Don't get too depressed, fellas. Once erect, men got way more attractive in the study.