Thanks to Us Weekly, Jennifer Aniston's reaction to the still-unfolding Brangelina divorce is now allegedly more than wild speculation.

According to an insider, the Mother's Day actress, 47, said, "Yeah, that's karma for you!" while discussing the news with a longtime pal.

"Sources" have had an extremely busy 24-hours. First, they blamed the Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt split on "another woman." Then they pivoted to Pitt's alleged marijuana use.

Now, Us Weekly is reporting that someone in the know says Aniston "always got the sense that something would happen with them eventually," adding "she didn't feel that Angelina was truly the one who Brad was meant to stay with. She always felt that Angelina was too complex for him."

And probably the best line:

He's a pretty simple guy.

Eager not to miss out on Christmas for "sources," a second source tells the magazine that the actress "admittedly feels sort of satisfied about Brad and Angelina's split." And even though the source clearly enjoys dishing on the juicy topic, Aniston "never wanted this for them or wished this on them."

The source continued:

Jen does wish Brad luck and the best. She feels like she’s happy, and she wants him to be happy too. Jen does not hold on to any negativity from her marriage to Brad.

Merry Christmas, anonymous sources! See you again soon.

Kristen Bell and Ellen DeGeneres are angling to fill the two empty spots left by Posh and Sporty Spice on the upcoming Spice Girls reunion tour (making it really more of Spi Girls tour). To that end, they put together a pretty sweet audition tape that shows they've got the moves and attitude to be Spice Girls, if not the knowledge of the actual song lyrics.

Not too shabby. Ellen's maybe got a bit of work to do, but Kristen's got it down pat. There's nothing Kristen Bell can't do—look at how well she wears the hell out of that yellow dress on the show. #wardrobegoals

Sources are saying that Brad Pitt was just as blindsided by the Brangelina split as you were. (But do you think he took it as hard as Twitter did?) The "Bra" of Brangelina (or more like the "Br") found out that Gelina was filing for divorce just a day before everybody else did.

Us Weeklyreports that "Pitt only found out about the divorce decision" on Monday which, if true, is the same day she went and filed papers on September 19.

There are many theories floating around as to why the couple split, and in the Game of Thrones off-season, it's providing the internet with a feverish activity.

All of the theories somehow involve Brad being bad, and between that and the timing, it seems like Jolie had her PR strategy ready, Katie Holmes-style.

George Clooney was totally caught off guard when a reporter from CNN asked him how he felt about the Brangelina divorce while he was attending the UN General Assembly on Tuesday. Also, WTF was a CNN reporter doing asking George Clooney about the Brangelina divorce at the UN General Assembly?

Right after stepping out of a roundtable meeting with his wife Amal and President Obama about the Syrian refugee crisis, Clooney was hit with the news. Even though he was visibly shocked, he pulled it together pretty quickly and handled the surprising news like a pro. Meanwhile, the rest of the world reacted like this.

Clooney and Brad Pitt have been friends for years, ever since they met on the set of Ocean's Eleven back in 2001. According to Cosmopolitan, Brad Pitt found out that Angelina was filing for divorce on the same day the news broke (a.k.a. yesterday), so that could be why Pitt didn't give his friend of 15 years the heads up.

Every other post about this news will start with a "Hey girl," but I'll skip that and get right to the important news which is that apparently those goddamn sneaky sneakersRyan Gosling and Eva Mendes are married. Us Weekly is reporting that they wed "earlier this year," and neglected to alert the paparazzi, which is, when you think about it, pretty rude.

Mendes, 42, and Gosling, 35, met while working on the 2012 film The Place Beyond The Pines. Their wedding took place "among a small group of family and friends," and luckily those who attended were trustworthy enough to keep it quiet.

The pair have two daughters, two-year-old Esmeralda and four-month-old Amada. At the Toronto International Film Festival in September, Gosling said of his family, "I’m a lucky man. We couldn’t be happier. They are so sweet."

A source close to Mendes told Us, "Eva and Ryan have always felt like a married couple. They are infatuated with each other."

"Infatuated" sounds more like something you'd say about a newly dating couple than a married one, but then again, Mendes and Gosling are not normal human mortals and probably everything they do is blessed by the universe in a way we will never be able to fully understand.

A fifth grade girl named Zoë is your new hero when it comes to setting boundaries. She wrote this bad-as-hell list for a boy at school named Noah, who apparently has no chill whatsoever and needed a little guidance.

Let's hope this list, which a friend of her teacher's posted to Twitter, effectively shut him down.

It includes such gems as "do not get behind me with all that playing and foolishness," to which she added "don't get behind me at all."

And: "Do not speak to me unless it's a greeting, which will be never."

She reminds him she's too young to be his gf (even though she knows he likes her), and tells him to reread the letter "500 times."

She also threatens to call up her dad, her "fake mom" and a "janator I know" (she knows the spelling is off and she DGAF) and warns him: "If you ruin my day I'm going to have to go to counseling!!!!"

Zoë not only knows how to put a guy in his place, but how to take care of herself when necessary. She's seriously an inspiration for not taking bullshit. So back off, dudes. I know a janitor.

You may think that copying the look of supermodel Kendall Jenner is expensive and way out of reach. Sure, anyone can turn herself into Kylie, but Kendall? Not happening. Turns out you're wrong, at least when it comes to her favorite shampoo, Finesse, which also happens to be that of one Kim Kardashian.

In an interview about how much she's learned about style from her sisters, she told Allure:

Kim likes Finesse shampoo, and now so do I. I’ve tried all the expensive things, too. It just works for my hair and makes it so silky. My hair has held up so much that every hairstylist has been like, ‘Why is your hair still so amazing?’ And I’m like, ‘I literally don’t do anything. I just use Finesse.’ And everyone’s like, ‘What?'

Yeah, what? Finesse as in that blue bottle that costs like $3 at Walmart?

I can afford that! I can be pretty, too?

Well, maybe not that pretty. But might save some money at the drugstore.

A "virtual reality girlfriend" game debuted at Tokyo Game Show in Japan on Tuesday. Unfortunately, horny gamers couldn't stop grabbing virtual boobies and event staff had to "put their foot down" at the interactive exhibit.

This is why we can't have nice things.

"There were times when it felt as if it were real, so that was surprising," said one participant in the above video, which is mainly 30 seconds of gamers silently groping a mannequin while a projection of an anime woman plays on the screen in front of them.

The experience was simple. Visitors put "on some some virtual reality goggles and a programme called E-mote" allowed them "to interact with characters in the game," according to Daily Mail. So they could touch the mannequin and feel like they were touching the anime woman shown in the headset.

Virtual reality anime girlfriend+an expo full of gamers= what the hell did they expect to happen?

Come to think of it, a dude who is cool with groping a mannequin in public is actually the exact type of person who would have a virtual girlfriend.

Adding some peppy song and dance to shows that desperately needed it, Broadway's Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Broadway's Alan Cumming joined Broadway's James Corden to put some inappropriate musicals on TV.

The trio converted Game of Thrones into Spamalot ("weddings" conveniently rhymes with "beheadings") and Stranger Things into the rock opera you always felt it should be.

As far as musical bits on late night go, this one is the most impressive. Not only because of the production values, but because they ain't lip syncing.

Michelle Obama, the FLOTUS with the mostess, stopped by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to talk Let Girls Learn, and girls from Melania Trump to Beyoncé.

Colbert asked Obama how she feels about the lives of candidates' spouses on the campaign trail. After a perfect pause, Obama says she has "no sympathy" for the spouses, particularly if they plagiarize.

The interview gets even awesomer, and Obama demonstrated her Barack impression. You get to know his mannerisms pretty well after 23 years of marriage—the next guy to play him on SNL should give it a try.

Oh, and she also talks about what Beyoncé's—her fellow "low-key lady"—is really like.

Michelle, we miss you already.

Supermodel Ashley Graham posed nude for British magazine Grazia UK and the shoot's photographer, Matthew Eades, has posted some of his pictures on Instagram. She looks ridiculously good, but that's no surprise.

The issue has a special subscribers-only cover, featuring Graham looking happier holding up her shirt than most people do in their entire lives. Who knew having boobs could be so enjoyable?

The shoot (I refuse to say "spread") isn't actually nude-nude, meaning she's covered herself with her hands in the photo(s) where she's really wearing zero clothing.

Looks like the shoot was a blast, and the pictures look beyond amazing. Maybe being naked is just more fun when you're Ashley Graham. We would probably all do well to take a page from her book.

Alt porn star Vex Ashley is set to give a 90-minute free workshop on how to make your very own adult films at the Centre for Contemporary Arts in Glasgow, Scotland on September 30, but some campaigners and politicians who find the subject matter is too risqué are trying to squelch the event.

Prudes.

The 26-year-old self-described "ethical" porn star produces and stars in her own films. Her planned workshop is part of the Scottish Queer International Film Festival, which is publicly funded by Creative Scotland. The festival received over $30,000 from Creative Scotland through the National Lottery. Some are speaking out, saying the festival has no business using public funds to program an adult film workshop.

Opponents of Vex Ashley's workshop include Labour Party politician Rhoda Grant MSP, who according to The Daily Record, says it is dangerous to "blur the lines" between art and pornography. She sounds fun.

The Scottish Coalition Against Sexual Exploitation have also voiced their concerns over the workshop, saying, "The main concern from the coalition is making sure that young people or vulnerable people are properly informed about the nature of pornography and that it’s not seen as something that is harmless, because in our experience it’s not. It’s a form of violence against women and contributes to it.”

Despite the criticism, organizers have rallied behind the workshop and behind Ashley, saying the type of porn she's teaching about is from a “new and empowering perspective”. CCA director Francis McKee defended Ashley and her work by saying, “This workshop shows an alternative feminist approach to mainstream porn, presenting a critique of the industry and looking at alternative views of sexuality on film.”

Not to be all, "YAAASSS KWEEEN!" but holy cow, drugstore makeup brand Wet n Wild is releasing a $5 version of that gorgeous $22 rainbow highlighter that took the internet (and quite a few wallets) by storm in April.

This is how it will look:

Wet n Wild's Coloricon Rainbow highlighter is a whole rainbow (duh) of pressed powder in one compact. The result is a shimmery look that the cruelty-free brand calls "Unicorn Glow" but I call "Coachella Drunk."

The affordable highlighter will appear in drugstores soon, but if you want a peek at how it looks (plus some tips on application), check out this video from their YouTube channel:

What about an actual unbiased review of the product? Well, you're in luck, because the mavens at Refinery29 are already on it:

Sure, you're thinking, "But I would never wear that out of my house." Yeah, that might be true, but remember it's only five dollars! So much sparkly color to play with for basically the price of one Starbucks latte. You can stay at home and put this on and dance around the house by yourself, and it will have been worth it, because fun. It pretty much pays for itself in terms of joy.

Joss Whedon just rejoined Twitter to promote his greatest superhero movie yet. No, not The Avengers, or even The Avengers: Age of Ultron, but a public service film featuring the Marvel team and many other celebrities speaking up about an imminent threat to the universe: Donald Trump.

The PSA is very meta, satirizing all the clichés like über-sincerity and the endless parade of celebrities, while also using them to hammer home the message.

Members of this super group include Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Keegan-Michael Key, James Franco, Julianne Moore, Leslie Odom Jr., Bradley Whitford, Clark Gregg, Yvette Nicole Brown, Nathan Fillion, Neil Patrick Harris, Martin Sheen, Don Cheadle, Matt McGorry, Randall Park, Cobie Smulders, Taran Killam, and the rest of your favorite liberal scum.

With your vote, you can end “this nightmare before it even begins."

Answer the call.

Clearly some men felt left out by the vaginal rejuvenation craze and have sought out alternatives. Enter scrotox, a procedure where botox is injected into a man's scrotum in order to reduce sweating, decrease the appearance of lines, and make the scrotum look larger due to muscle relaxation.

This isn't a new idea. Saturday Night Live covered it back in 2010.

Someecards is excited to announce our brand-new parenting column, "Parental Advisory," that recognizes every parenting challenge brings with it shades of conflict, contradiction, and crayon on your beige couch. If you have a tricky question, whether about a newborn or a teen, our columnist Janet Manley—mother of one, incubating #2 as we speak—wants to answer it! Share your questions in the own comments and watch this space for true tales of parenting under pressure.

First up, we have a question about being spoiled by grandparents, finicky eaters, and pint-sized liars:

My in-laws keep buying my kids stuff. They enjoy being grandparents and they're good about playing with the kids, but their gift-giving is unnecessary and in my opinion, wasteful. I know this sounds like a stupid problem to have, but my kids are getting an unrealistic idea of what normal birthday presents and Christmas presents are. We have more toys than my children know what to do with already and I'm worried they will "expect" this many presents from relatives or even friends. How shall I handle this?

This isn’t a stupid problem, this is a profound existential quandary. The second you have a baby, the gifts start rolling in. Inevitably, these gifts are ideological Trojan horses, packed with the secret parenting agendas of the gift-givers (“Enjoy this wooden bead puzzle! We believe electronic toys are a form of child abuse.”)

Faced with an avalanche of gift-wrapped goodwill, we are each tasked with KonMari-ing on behalf of our children to ascertain whether a gift a) brings us joy or b) sends us into a Tickle Me Elmo fury spiral.

In your case, it sounds like you have enthusiastically engaged grandparents whose burgeoning affection for your children occasionally morphs into Fisher Price playsets and backyard splash pads.The good news is that your children enjoy truckloads of love and support; the worry is they might become entitled little Dudley Dursleys.

Kids, though, are smart. They know how to game the system, and they know when they are being spoiled. If your children are old enough to have Christmas or birthday lists, that mechanism in itself is a great way to teach them a) how to play the odds (big and small-ticket items!), and b) the importance of a good narrative arc (wanting, losing, and triumphing, as seen in cinematic classic Picture Perfect).

Of course, you need to make sure Grammy and Gramps don’t buy up the entire list and that might require a conversation. Try, “We appreciate you helping out with Jasper, but want to manage his expectations. Perhaps we could see if there is something special on his list you could buy?”

Eventually, they will become aware of inequality, aware of their good fortune, and able to participate in gift-giving and donations themselves. And as your kids get older, you can begin to have them write thank-you cards: this ruins the thrill of the heist and ensures your tablet-savvy brood know the lost art of holding and wielding a pencil.

My son is 3.5 and lives on milk and peanut butter. How can I secretly hypnotize him into wanting to eat fruits and vegetables?

Is there a better metaphor for the progressive lack of control we wield as parents than the move from our children passively subsisting on the human "superfood" breastmilk, elixir of the biome, to insisting on a diet of string cheese and Goldfish? After all the prenatal vitamins, all the B12 syringes and home-made purees, one day your child simply wakes up and decides on their own dietary parameters. (My food pyramid, at age 3.5, was a single A-frame consisting of salami and cheese.)

Picky eating is quite normal among toddlers, according to the American Pediatric Association. It's partly just a punk phase they go through, and partly about their palates. Certainly, no authority on kids thinks that turning mealtime into a battle of the wills is a good idea, which your appeal for wizardry suggests you appreciate. Given your child's propensity for peanut butter, you can try to get some fiber and/or vitamins into their mouth via PB vehicles like celery, carrots, and apple slices, and you can continue to set good mealtime examples by eating as a family and offering whatever it is you are eating (the Ethiopian grain teff, I gather, is what we will all be trendily eating next) without pressure.

Provided your pediatrician isn't concerned, your child should develop less metal tastes before long.

My 5-year-old swiped gum from her nana and hid it under MY pillow. How do I get gum out of my sheets?

As regards your laundering issue, may I direct you to the leading global authority on these matters, Jolie Kerr (clue: ice and a knife). But to the crime itself, in the words of the bard, what a mingled yarn indeed—thievery, illicit substances, a hasty cover-up that almost seems a cry for help, compromised Egyptian cotton!

I was initially concerned about the choking hazard posed by gum, but the APA says gum after age four is fine. The stealing is a harder issue to pin down: did your daughter steal the gum because she knows it is off-limits? Because she was curious? Because she wanted the attention that came with getting caught?

The only way for you to know is to simply ask her why she took it and respond with empathy—thank goodness five-year-olds are terrible liars.

Do you have a nagging question about how to care for your own darling rugrats? Share it with us in the comments and you may see it answered in the next Parental Advisory column!

Famed boxing promoter and convicted murderer Don King, a master of reading a crowd and getting them fired up, accidentally said the N-word at a Trump rally before assuring his laughing audience that he meant to say "Negro." The moment came when King was recounting how he told Michael Jackson that he could never "assimilate" into white America, so he shouldn't "alienate" them.

"...America needs Donald Trump, we need Donald Trump, especially black people. Because, you got to understand, my black brothers and sisters, they told me "you gotta try to emulate and imitate the white man and then you can be successful." So we tried that. So they said "If you can get some money, you can do this here." I told Michael Jackson, I said, if you are poor, you are a poor Negro — I would use the N-word — if you are rich, you are a rich Negro. If you are a talented intellectual, you are an intellectual Negro. If you are a dancing and sliding and gliding nigger, I mean Negro. You're a dancing and sliding and gliding Negro. So dare not alienate because you can't assimilate, so you are going to be a Negro till you die."

The truly astounding thing isn't the slip in the context of the story—King explicitly says up top that he originally used the N-word—but the combination of the message and the audience reaction.

The reaction to King was swift and harsh from both civil rights organizations and from the liberal internet, while on the other side, right-wing Trump avatars were furious that the media didn't call Obama racist for having Don King's unsolicited endorsement in 2008.. (Barack Obama never had Don King appear at any rallies and in no way ever associated his campaign with convicted murderer Don King.)

Trump and King go back decades, and the Donald originally wanted King to speak to the Republican National Convention. The RNC refused, forcing Trump to keep the promoter up his sleeve because of King's whole "convicted of 2nd-degree murder" thing, his ties to organized crime (which Trump also has), and the fact that all of his clients have accused him of swindling them.