Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis announced their baby's gender in a much less cheery way than cutting a slice of blue or pink cake—with a sobering political tweet.

Oh! A girl! That's... congrats. Well, everyone feels uncomfortable now.

In the past, Wilde has been very open about her support for Hillary Clinton as well as her proud status as a feminist. Wilde has even bragged that the couple's son, Otis Alexander, is already a little feminist.

Looks like Otis' sister will be getting Feminism 101 lessons while still in the womb.

Fresh off Last Week Tonight's Emmy win for Outstanding Variety Talk Series last week, John Oliver dedicated Sunday night's show to a subject you are sick of thinking about: the election.

Specifically, he tackled the various scandals that have dogged both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton over their careers, proposing to help voters who are "still somehow torn" between the two.

So whose scandals are worse?

Well, Trump's, obviously—"quantifiably worse," says Oliver—though Clinton has her share of "irritating" missteps. In the end, Oliver says "it is dangerous to think that there's an equal number [of scandals] on both sides," and he illustrates it with a cookie-ruining raisin-storm.

On Saturday, Behati Prinsloo instagrammed a photo of her and husband Adam Levine's wee babe sleeping on dad's tattooed chest, with the caption, "Words can't describe 💗 Dusty Rose Levine 9/21/16."

Attractive couple Adam Levine, of Maroon 5/The Voice fame, and wife Behati Prinsloo, of Victoria's Secret/being married to Adam Levine fame, are understandably smitten with their new baby, super cute Dusty Rose (who now has no choice but to be a country singer).

The couple had shared some great photos of Prinsloo throughout her pregnancy, so there's a good chance we'll get to see a bunch more pictures of what will no doubt be a pretty damn cute baby. And while words may not be able to describe her, that probably won't stop Levine from writing a song or two about his lil' Yankee Dusty Rose.

Amy Schumer's already an old pro at the kiss cam; a little over a year ago she and Amber Rose got into it hot and heavy at the MTV Movie Awards and it was great. So it's not surprising that at Sunday afternoon's Mets game, she was prepared to go big or go home (oh hell yeah, baseball pun intended).

Schumer and her man Ben Hanisch continue to be one of the cutest couples out there. It's a good thing she chose the right man to make out with, it would have been slightly awkward if she'd gone with her dad.

Proving that there is basically nothing this woman can't do, actress and perfect vacation-photo-taker Lupita Nyong'o celebrated reaching three million Instagram followers by showing off some pretty impressive vocal stylings.

Nyong'o introduced the world to her rapper alter ego, Troublemaker (nice, nice), by dropping some rhymes about her many accomplishments, including her upcoming Disney film Queen of Katwe, her gig as the face of Lancôme​, and her work as a Global Elephant Ambassador for WildAid. Oh, and she speaks four languages, nbd.

Nyong'o's name was already dropped by Jay Z in his collaboration with Jay Electronica, "We Made It," but clearly she's able to spit her own verses—yet another skill she can add to her résumé.

Tattoos used to just be for sailors and hooligans, but now everybody's got one, and sometimes people go a bit crazy to make sure their ink is unique. Here's a few stories from tattoo artists and their friends, who weighed in on Reddit to talk about the most ill-advised tattoos they ever inked (or respectfully declined to ink).

1. This bit from SmileyFaceInk describes either a bad tattoo or a great Pixies song.

A T-Rex surfing on an ocean of blood, and in his hands, a rose.

2. Well, Taste_of_Space, where else would you put that? On your bicep? Wouldn't make sense.

My tattoo artist claims to have tattooed the likeness of Count Chocula on a man's taint.

3. Ganglebot knows that nothing will ever be cool as Fonzie, or at least something Fonzie-esque.

My brother went on a bachelor party to Montreal and one of the guys was a tattoo artist.

While everyone was hung over one morning, one of the guys asked for a tattoo from the tattoo artist (who brought his gear). The hung over guy said, "Just do whatever you want, but nothing offensive"

To this day on his upper calf he has a picture of a hotdog in a leather jacket (the fonz), with a bottle of ketchup and mustard in each hand. And in a crest around the hotdog-Fonz it says, "I miss dinosaurs

4. User spicycabbage heard about a guy who loved his wife Debbie Norman Reynolds 'till death do they part.

Heard someone talking about the time a guy came in asking for his wife's initials, and when he was done, the guy said something like "jokes on you, you never would have done that if I told you it stood for do not resuscitate"

5. DROFLOW1 was very late for an important date.

A rabbit circling a butthole...I was drunk and it's mine

6. Ironicbanana14's brother is a tattoo artist, and he may have tattooed a now-heartbroken Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak.

So my brother runs a tattoo/piercing shop, and a guy came in wanting to get a matching tattoo with his gf. She had a tattoo of a strawberry on her vagina right above her clit, and he said he wanted one on his tip. So, he now has a strawberry tip and my brother is scarred for life.

The same dude came back 2 months later saying they broke up and had my brother just tattoo over it with black since laser removal was a nope for that. Then proceeded to get a prince Albert.

7. This tattoo by tbag403 would also make a great wedding theme.

Bowser wearing sunglasses playing a double deck guitar on a surf board with "Happy Birthday Rick" written above it and a cross an a pot leaf as the background.

8. Ximplicity's uncle was a medical examiner, who probably saw way more bad tattoos than a tattoo artist ever would.

My uncle was a ME (medical examiner) and says the most interesting tattoo he saw was one of Elmer Fudd, dressed in his hunting clothes, aiming his rifle at the anus with a text bubble over it saying, 'Come out of there you wascally wabbit!'

9. User michonne_impossible tattooed a woman who couldn't afford a telephone.

When I was an apprentice at a tattoo shop, we had a girl come in who wanted "don't call me in the morning" with a tiny heart next to it tattooed on her ass. Supposedly she lost a bet at beer pong. We asked her, "what if you meet someone you really like? He won't call you." Her response was " I just won't do him doggy style."

10. We see what you did there, ChickenMaster72.

I once tattooed an elephant on a Mans crotch. And his dick was the trunk.

11. Several things about this are unacceptable, AngryEm.

I did a purposefully janky heart with the words "comic sans" inside. In the comic sans font. Absolutely unacceptable.

12. This one from blade1012 is nuts! (Because it's about testicles, you see.)

A squirrel on the inner thigh holding his hands out right below the nuts

13. This one from kholdstare622 is like 10 classic metal album covers all at the same time.

A bird made of rainbows flying out of the eyehole of a skull being held in the mouth of a thresher maw with a naked woman holding a sword on its back.

14. Probably true, PizzaRollsAndWeed. Or one of the guys from Blink 182.

My SO is making me tattoo the blink 182 smiley logo on his ass cheek.

pretty sure I'm dating one of the guys from jackass

15. EmergeAndSee got a prison-style tattoo to commemorate the kind of snack you'd get from a prison commissary.

I gave myself my first tattoo a month ago, its on my finger and it kinda looks like a bugle or cone of some sorts. you know, those snacks. i did it with a sewing needle and black pen ink.

America is so ridiculously divided today that a hug between a prominent Democrat and Republican has become controversial.

Michelle Obama politely embraced former president George W. Bush at the opening for the National Museum of African American History and Culture this past Saturday in Washington, D.C.

The hug was apparently too intimate, and people were mad, most prominently your Facebook friend's presidential candidate Jill Stein.

Bush's military strategy of shock and awe applies to bipartisan hugs as well, and a huge chunk of Twitter was pissed.

But many found it comforting.

Regardless of whether you think Bush deserves a warm embrace, America could really use a hug right now.

When Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau tried to get a high five, then a low five, then just a handshake from the little Prince George, he was shut out cold every time.

Apparently, British and Canadian folks have quite different greeting customs. When the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge got off the tarmac in Victoria, Canada on Saturday to spend a week for an official visit, Trudeau tried to make a good impression on Prince George. It did not go well.

Here, watch it again:

So take note: next time you meet anyone from England's Royal Family, no matter how important you think you are, do not attempt to get them to meet you up top.

Today is the first presidential debate of the 2016 shit showelection between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. As the infrastructure of our government disintegrates before our very eyes, you might as well get drunk as you watch.

There are a lot of debate drinking games that you can look up on the internet, but none that capture the fear, panic and lunacy of the debate quite like this one:

1. Whenever Clinton starts talking about how great Obama is, take a shot.

2. Whenever Trump says "Yuuuge," take a yuuuge shot.

3. Whenever Trump tries to get Bernie Sanders supporters to vote for him, share a shot with a friend in the name of Democratic socialism.

4. Whenever Clinton coughs, take a shot of Robitussin.

5. Whenever Trump brings up the wall, take a shot out of a taco bowl.

6. Whenever Clinton talks about being a New Yorker despite being from Illinois, throw the shot into your own eyeballs.

7. Whenever someone brings up Hillary's emails, break a bottle of wine over your head and sit there wondering how the hell we got to this point.

8. Whenever Lester Holt loses control of the debate because the candidates are arguing with each other, drink a shot of your own tears.

9. Whenever the camera cuts to a candidate laughing and/or rolling their eyes as the other speaks, drive to your local liquor store and hurl your body into a display of alcohol-filled glass bottles.

10. Whenever a candidate lies, fill your bathtub up with liquor and lay in it until November 9th/the world ends. Whichever comes first.

Angelina Jolie is reportedly getting some pro advice from the only source that makes sense when you're currently the most famous person to file for divorce: the last most famous person to get a divorce, Johnny Depp.

Jolie and Depp filmed The Tourist together in 2009, where it is rumored they formed a tight friendship and have remained close ever since. According to a source at the Sun:

The two of them have stayed in touch ever since ['The Tourist'], and spoke regularly during the storm that surrounded Johnny’s break up with Amber.

They're in fact so close that, according to the source atThe Sun, the blood-wearing mother of six even hired his divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser, on his recommendation.

Not a bad choice, considering Depp's ex-wife Amber Heard filed for divorce at the end of May and they were already sending the settlement check to charity by August.

With a three month turnaround like that, Wasser could stand to make some serious scratch if Depp has any married friends left.

Most people hate their jobs, but they quietly deal with it and suppress their hostility and resentment. But everybody's got that one coworker who just couldn't take it anymore and exploded with rage while still at work. Redditors shared stories about their most memorably fed-up colleagues, and it might distract you long enough to keep you from quitting your own job in a huff.

1. And then iomega12 uses the phrase "passed out from rage" like that's a normal thing.

Many years ago I worked in a typical office environment. We handled voice/data issues for Fortune 500 companies. No, this wasn't a call center. This one guy got handed a rough issue (I'm unsure what it specifically was), he flips out, spikes his phone on the ground and storms out of the office.

On his way out to the lobby, he had pushed the door open so hard, it had caved in the wall opposite the door where the handle was leaving a gaping hole. Hours later he was discovered by management passed out from rage in the bushes surrounding the parking lot.

He was not suspended, written up, or anything.

2. User maddomesticscientist had a coworker who just wasn't going to put up with that shirt.

Pizza Hut manager asked one of the drivers to put on his uniform shirt. Driver flipped out and tried to set his shirt on fire in the lobby while screaming about oppression. Then he took off for some reason and drove to the airport where he jumped the fence leading to the tarmac. Got roughly arrested by the airport cops. We never saw him again.

Turned out he had drank a bunch of Robitussin.

3. SLOPTART69 worked with a guy who was just feeling a little punchy one day.

This pharmacy is VERY busy. It's cold and flu season and things are in full swing. This particular day he's working the drive through, and a customer comes pulls up wanting to pick up her pain meds. We're pretty backed up that day and they weren't ready yet. When he tells her that, she FREAKS out, yells at him, etc (which is honestly fairly common) He handles it incredibly well, remains cordial and professional, and I'm actually really proud of him.

Just as I am about to recognize him for the exceptional way he handled that transaction, he cocks his fist back, and FUCKING UNLEASHES this hulk punch right into the register. The glass smashes everywhere, his hand is bleeding pretty heavily, and he calmly turns to me and says "Man, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did that"

All the while his hand is bleeding all over the fucking floor. We bandaged him up and he eventually went to the hospital.

Company put him on leave for a week or so while trying to decide what to do with him. They called him back into the store to tell him he was fired and he starts talking about how he was going to burn the place down with everyone inside it, so on and so forth.

The store had an armed guard for a week after that.

4. User picksandchooses worked with Old Jim, who nailed it.

I was doing carpentry work with another carpenter, "Old Jim." Some local kids were there cracking wise, being smart mouthed and just generally hanging around, annoying the hell out of both of us. Old Jim yelled at them a few times. They kept it up. Old Jim got madder. They thought that was even more fun and started walking right up to Old Jim and smart mouthing him right to his face. Old Jim listened to maybe two of them before he'd heard enough.

He grabbed the last kid, lifted him up against a wall we were building, grabbed his nail gun and nailed through the shoulders of the kids jacket so the kid was literally hung on the wall, dangling from his jacket. Old Jim got 1 inch from his face and just screamed at the kid for a few minutes, just absolutely red-faced screaming at him. The kid's eyes were huge, he suddenly wasn't the little smarty pants he had been a minute earlier, he was scared to death, hanging from a wall with a screaming madman right in his face. Old Jim had a meltdown, he kept it up for a full 2 minutes, just screaming an inch away from the kid's face. The kid was near tears.

Finally Old Jim had said his peace. He got a pry bar, pull out the nails and the kid came down off the wall. That kid's feet hit the ground and he was GONE, running for everything he was worth. It seemed like he just sort of instantly vaporized the instant he hit the ground.

An hour later the cops show up. "Boys, sorry, but you can't nail kids to a wall,…" Old Jim had to pay for the kid's jacket.

5. Technically Gustapo_AT is the one who's snitching by posting this story, but it's the other guy who got stitches. Or maybe not.

Still being in highschool, I work part time at my local Butcher shop mainly as a dishboy.

About a year ago, we had one apprentice who despite being very polite and a seemingly disciplined worker, could not control his temper or 'self loathing rage...'

He was butterflying some Kievs when he sliced all the way down the inside of his left pinky, essentially filleting himself. Instead of reacting like a normal person and quickly seeking medical attention or calling an ambulance, he simply broke down. Screaming and crying, he threw his knives all over the floor, broke the mincer bracket and snapped the sausage-maker support costing the owner around $700 for a replacement. The rage was induced by the fact that his subsequent stitches from the injury would keep him from being able to work, needless to say he was fired.

People with short fuses should not work essentially with knives....

6. According to Verryfastdoggo, grease is the word.

Line Cook at a fairly upscale pizza joint lost his shit while closing the restaurant let's call him Joe. Got into an argument with the head Chef, call him Josh(who was, and still is a total fucking prick). At the end of the night, all I heard was the head chef say, "if you don't like it here, you can quit". And that was the last straw, joe, was a big guys, like 6 ft 5 and josh was maybe 5'5. Joe picked up a 5 gallon bucket of Grease from the fryer, and dumped the whole thing over Josh. I'm talking about full bucket, it was disgusting. He then promptly said, now I quit. It was amazing. As Joe walked out the door, Josh slipped and fell trying to chase after him.

7. Much like Granadafan, who among us hasn't witnessed somebody try to steam-clean somebody to death?

I work in Biotech and we have these large autoclave for steam sterilizing equipment. Two guys who hated each other were really getting into it one day. We were im used to it and tried to ignore them. Then we hear a scream and see one of the guys shove the other into the autoclave and slam the door and try to start the cycle. Luckily we tackled him before he could hit the start button and proceeded to pummel him. The way steam sterilization works is a series of vacuum and pressure pulses to remove all air pockets before introducing steam 122 degrees Celsius (~250F) at 30 psi. The guy would have exploded before being cooked.

8. While you're getting mad at tech support guys like weregildthegreat, they're getting even more mad at you.

Shortly after I became a second level agent, a coworker of mine who was particularly high strung would go from 0 -> 100 pretty quickly. Without any warning he ended up ripping his headset off his head and yelling "FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK" as loudly as his lungs and larynx would allow him, the manager who was on duty at the time was a lovely woman emerged from her office just to see this employee smash his headset to pieces. He got the rest of the day off.

9. Ring the alarm, Zerbo.

I worked at a very sketchy private ambulance company years ago that did non-emergency transports. One of the fleet maintenance guys found out he was being laid off, and proceeded to go into each rig, turn the lights and siren on in each one, (around 25 or so), lock all their doors, then throw all the keys down a nearby storm drain. It was magnificent.

10. A coworker of suitology came unglued just because they weren't going to pay her for hours she didn't work.

Woman kept taking off and coming in late, she was about 50. Eventually the boss called her in and asked "what is going on?".

The woman just loses it saying it's none of their business. Boss tells her that they will have to let her go if she misses one more day or is late again this year as she missed (15 days unscheduled, used her sick time, and vacation days and was late EVERY day by up to an hour and it was only april) and they will be docking her for those hours she wasn't here or left early. Woman starts SCREAMING "You don't have that right" "YOU CAN'T TAKE MY MONEY!" "FUCK YOU JUST FUCK YOU". Eventually she pulled the mat ontop of the desk of sending papers and the computer to the floor. Boss booked it and locked her in the room where she continued to kick holes in the drywall and break everything in sight. Security comes, They call the police, Police come go in and she started throwing stuff at them screaming "THAT'S MY GOD DAMN FUCKING MONEY" we were escorted off the floor and I'm guessing they tased her or something because she was taken out hand cuffed to a wheelchair.

11. "Hey everybody, hammer fiiiiiiight!" —lolxaaaa

I saw two stone masons get in a fist fight when I worked construction. I was laying electrical underground pipe, and they were laying block wall. One threw a hammer at the other one and hit him in the head. Cracked his eye socket. Cops came and took our statements and the guy got arrested for assault.

12. The main takeaway from this story from smakwan is that Bertucci's has rats.

Working at an Italian place, one of my co workers kept asking to be made a server instead of just working the takeout section. After being denied multiple times because he wasn't capable of being a server he then proceeded to tell the general manager to '' SUCK MY DICK FROM THE BACK!!'' Then stormed out yelling Bertuccis has Rats ! Bertuccis has rats!

13. RangerRickR saw a dude waste a sandwich, which is downright shameful.

A manager that wasn't really my manager. When his bosses were gone, he would take 1-2 hour lunches. On the clock. We were allowed a 30 minute lunch off the clock. He would sit in the management office and eat a little, read the paper. Just basically not working while the store got busy. It was fairly well known by the lower workers he did this, we just didn't say anything. One day a manager of equal power from a different department confronted him about it while he had been on lunch for over an hour.

He picked up his sandwich and threw it at her yellin about why doesn't he get to take his lunch in peace like everyone else. Basically just went on this rant of irrelevant stuff. Then just stopped, and went back to reading the paper. He got fired by the end of the day.

14. A coworker of vegetablesamosas showed that Chicago is the Second City but first in anger.

I was working in a fast food kitchen and we hired this shifty looking guy in his 50s named Chicago. His first day he started complaining because we kept him on only one task because he was new and still slow. Before we know it he was yelling, "Yall just dont want me to shine. Yall just scared." Then, he just walked out muttering that this place was too dirty to work in ( we had just opened so the place was in no way dirty).

15. You might remember this story from MyNameIsRay from when you read Death of a Salesman in high school.

I work at a company with commissioned salesmen.

Due to some market changes, commissions got slashed by a bunch of companies we represent. One of them, a major company for us, decided to announce this via e-mail on a Friday evening, after business hours.

A 30-year veteran salesman was out at the bar, saw it, and drowned his sorrows for a few hours.

Then, he decided to let the sender know how he really feels about the decision.

As you might expect, he "replied all", and sent his profanity filled, drunkenly composed rant to every competitor, salesman, and company official (of course, tied to our company's e-mail, even has our business card as his e-mail signature.) Then, he sent a follow up, letting us know just how little he cares.

Monday morning, we called him in, and he just shook his head and let us know he's well aware of why we're here, what he did, and he'll pack his stuff.

16. User godlessaudio tells us about the healthiest thing on the menu at his old employer.

Used to work at Ruby Tuesday and the newly promoted GM decided to quit by throwing his keys in the deep fryer.​

17. User why_you_ask was the victim of some extreme revenge that was also anonymous, for about five seconds.

I was a manager years ago and one of my duties was to order office supplies for everyone. The receptionist decided that she wouldn't give me her list in time and so nothing was ordered for her. She finally decided days after deliveries that she needed 1000 envelopes even though she already had 5000 at her desk. There was a minimum order fee and her $7 box of envelopes didn't meet it. I told her that I'd add her envelopes to the next order, but she'd have to wait. She flipped her shit. She screamed through the corporate office about what an asshole I was and that I was trying to oppress her and get her fired by making it impossible for her to do her job. Fast forward to the following morning. I walked into my gated parking garage to see that my car was covered in eggs, there was puke all over my hood, and my windows had been written on with shoe polish. I washed everything off and went in to work late. The receptionist was bragging about how she got me so good and how funny it was that she followed me home, waited for someone to open the access gate, and defaced my car. She was fired immediately....

18. Coworkers and rocks were victimized that day, in this story from funktion1lambda.

Witnessed a co worker get fired for showing up late. He was really in a bad mood that day. He started yelling at the manager and then kicking the back door. He broke through the door which was unlocked at the time. Then gets to his car, makes a call then races his engine and pops it into drive. He manages to run over most of the small shrubbery in front of his parking space and get his bumper hung up on a rock. Then throws is into reverse and sequels the tires until he gets free of the rock. Then starts randomly running over all the landscaping in the entire lot. At this point most of the coworkers are near the big window in front watching this, one is getting it on his iphone. He finally peels out into the street nearly missing a truck.

19. Once in a while, a person is lucky to witness a heroic act. Yeah_Mr_Jesus was just so lucky. (Also, there was farting.)

Anyway, this one kid who bussed with me was moving out of state and decided to not give a two weeks notice. The last day he was able to come in before he moved, he walked up to like 2 or 3 tables and just ripped the nastiest sounding farts I had ever heard. I "accidentally" walked in the back when the manger was firing him. Manager says "why would you do that instead of just telling me you quit?" My buddy responds "I fucking hate this place." He then farted again and walked out.

Emma Watson—actress, vocal feminist, UN Global Good Will Ambassador and person who probably doesn't lie awake at night wondering "what have I done with my life?"—made a powerful short video called "Hurdles."

Warning: may cause goose bumps.

It's about how many obstacles women have overcome, in sports and society at large. She shared the video on Twitter this weekend with a short note, "Excited to show you this small film I helped make. Hope it gets you going!" (It did.)

"Women and girls have always faced hurdles," she says in the video, which includes footage of female Olympians jumping literal hurdles. "But that's never stopped us."

The video also displays important markers of progress in women's rights, like the passing of the Equal Pay Act, and the many areas in which women have made tremendous progress, including sports.

For example, there were no women in the first Olympics. That has obviously changed. As you may remember, this past summer women OWNED the Olympics. Mostly Leslie Jones, but other women too. Like Simone freaking Biles.

We still have a ways to go, as the video points out, and it ends with Watson calling for "equality, now."

This may not be enough to end sexism across the world, but it sure made me feel powerful and optimistic, which is a lot for a Monday.

5. Angelina Jolie, because her love affair with the UN may have ended her marriage.

Everyone has a theory about what caused the Brangelina split. Some say it was due to their hectic schedules, or Pitt's pot smoking, or Pitt having an affair, or Pitt having anger problems… most of them blame him. But TMZ is proposing a new theory that places the blame with Angelina Jolie and her greatest vice: making the world a better place.

According to inside sources, Pitt was increasingly upset with Jolie's involvement (or obsession) with the United Nations. She has been involved with the UN for years, but rumors claim that her dream is to become a top official within the organization. They're even saying she has two political advisers on staff and her own personal "war room" (which should come in handy during the divorce).

Apparently, Pitt was upset that she was taking her kids to war-torn countries around the world, despite the excellent security that always accompanied them. But they're going to become world-saving superheroes like their parents on their own. They can't spend their whole lives hiding in their mom's war room.

4. Canadian Prime Minster Justin Trudeau, because Prince George left him hanging.

Canadian Prime Minster/Sexpot Justin Trudeau was on hand to greet his masters, the British Royal Family, when their plane touched down in British Columbia on Sunday. The royals are visiting Canada to check up on their property, so PM Trudeau brought out his full charm from the get-go. But one noble proved to be the first documented human immune to his charisma: Prince George. Here's the adorable little prince totally shutting out Trudeau's attempt at a high five.

Damn. Even the handshake was totally shut out. Prince George may look like a shy little boy, but don't be fooled—he knows exactly what he's doing. His subject forgot his place and needed to be shot down.

3. Hillary Clinton, because she's got her work cut out for her tonight.

Hillary Clinton should be totally psyched right now—tonight she'll go head-to-head in a debate against Donald Trump, a man with no political experience, no knowledge of foreign or domestic policy, and a tendency to lie in an extremely transparent way. But chances are that she's not feeling so hot. At this very moment, she's probably alone in a room, staring nervously at flash cards while jiggling her knee and pulling threads off her pantsuit.

According to ABC News and the Washington Post, Clinton's only leading Trump by two measly points. And his momentum keeps growing, no matter how many newspapers and GOP leaders turn him. Every lie he's caught in makes him stronger—for a seasoned politician like Clinton, it must seem like she's fallen into the Bizarro world (or the Upside Down).

Let's just hope debate moderator Lester Holt doesn't pull a Matt Lauer and totally f**k this up. But considering how unpredictable this election has been so far, anything could happen.

2. A drug dealer who got caught because he was taking plastic.

It's hard to stay competitive as a drug dealer in 2016. Every other business is getting onboard with Apple Pay and bitcoin, while you're relegated to using cash like some kind of caveman. Mark "Guppy" Slender, a cocaine dealer from Gloucestershire, U.K., tried to circumvent that problem by getting tech-savvy, and in doing so, proved exactly what a dumb idea that is.

Slender was arrested in August after officers found £5,800 worth of cocaine in his home. Police were able to track him down because he had invested in a chip-enabled credit card reader so that his customers (who apparently shared his lack of foresight) wouldn't have to use cash. Afterward, he would give them receipts (RECEIPTS!) that included the message: "Cheers, Gup."

Those receipts led police straight to him. But at least his customers will know exactly how much they spent on cocaine come tax day.

1. Whoever tied down this giant inflatable duck.

You should have double checked it, bro.

You're looking at a giant inflatable duck tumbling down a highway in Glasgow, Scotland on Saturday. Here it is in motion:

The duck was loose for ten full minutes before being recovered. In that time it rolled all across the highway, buffeted by high winds, and collided with many cars and vehicles.

Luckily, it did little to no damage, because it's a balloon. But psychologically, Glasgow may never recover. Nobody wants to be crushed by a duck.

Calling all bros at the gym getting swole: keep off Snapchat. Those sweet boobies might accidentally murder your bro, bro. Or almost murder him, as a Reddit user appropriately named Snapruinedmylife learned just a few days ago.

So last night, my gym partner and I decided to go on a late gym run to get SWOLE. I also recently met this beautiful girl on tinder & we've been snapchatting each other as if it was our full time job! She's freaking gorgeous.

So far it's the bro dream: the gym, Tinder, a full-time job that consists of dirty texting.

But a late night gym run requires a bro's full attention. You can't go full hulk with less-than-full focus.

So my gym partner and I decide to go full hulk and bench press as much as we can. On his final set of 275lb bench press, I get a snap from the Tinder girl and it's a video! As I opened up the snapchat, my gym partner asked if I'm all ready to spot him but without thinking, I said yes.. Now here is where I royally fuck up.

As he counts down to start benching, I open up the snapchat & it's a video of the girl with NSFW content, suggesting that we should hit it up tonight. I was completely focused on the 10 second video until I heard a thud and a gag for help... My gym partner lost control of the bench which landed on his throat..I immediately dropped my phone and tried to help lift the bar. People around us saw what was happening and everyone rushed to help as well.. Unfortunately, my gym partner started to cough up blood & it got pretty bad..

Yes, this is horrifying. Yes, they ended up at the hospital.

Reddit, I'm a fucking idiot.. I fucked up so bad that I don't know what to do with myself.. Currently at the hospital with his family and he's getting an emergency surgery. All I know right now is that he's been in surgery for the past 6 hours and counting..

Luckily, everything turned out (relatively) fine, as the bro's bro seems like he'll make a full recovery.

Wow. You always thought the bro code was just some stupid cliché to justify ignoring women. Turns out it's actually a crucial safety measure.

A new study suggests that people who are having sex aren't just saying, "Oh God," they're releasing hormones that can lead to believing in one.

A team at Duke University in North Carolina found that the release of oxytocin not only assists with social bonding and helping women push out babies, but can lead to increased religious feelings and spirituality.

“We were interested in understanding biological factors that may enhance those spiritual experiences,” social psychologist Patty Van Cappallen told Duke Today, “Oxytocin appears to be part of the way our bodies support spiritual beliefs.”

The Masters of Sex team at Duke boosted levels of oxytocin in two groups of middle-aged men, and found greater levels of self-reported spirituality in the ones who got the boost.

Outside of a controlled study, a free way to get a release of oxytocin is through sexual intercourse, which could ironically help you connect better to a clergyman's sermon.

Subjects who received the hormone rated positive responses to spiritual statements such as “All life is interconnected,” and “There is a higher plane of consciousness or spirituality that binds all people”.

This study is the first to prove oxytocin's connection to spirituality, and perhaps the first study your should show your priest.