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15 cards to send to your friend who is going through a breakup.

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Breakups suck. Help a pal through a rough time without even bothering to get up from your desk by sending them a hilarious ecard. It is the perfect way to say "I care, but not really all that much."

1. Show them the silver lining to being completely and totally alone.

2. Help your friend get over their summer fling by reminding them why they started a summer fling in the first place.

3. Be there for your friend, but not like "gym buddy" there.

4. Gently let them know that their post-breakup internet presence is the worst.

5. Show your friend that things could be much worse.

6. Use your friend's heartache as an excuse to get drunk.

7. Let them know things will be slightly less horrible one day.

8. Be there for your friend even when their ex moves on.

9. And remind them whether they are single or taken, they're a damn mess.

10. They can even take a well deserved, slightly bitter vacation.

11. It is your duty as a friend to be brutally honest, even if that makes you kind of a dick.

12. Remind them even the most bang-able people get dumped.

13. Bond over your mutual hatred of their ex.

14. Teach them the power of unfriending someone.

15. Most importantly, show them you will be there for them like they are always there for you.


Science has finally figured out a cure for garlic breath using household foods. Took long enough.

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Garlic is such a sneaky little bulb. One minute it's making your food taste sooooooo good, then moments later it's torturing everyone within a 3-foot radius of your mouth. But science has, finally, hallelujah, praise Jesus, found a solution to garlic breath using common household foods. A recent study found that chewing on some raw lettuce or an apple will help reduce the stench of garlic on your breath.

The study, published in the Journal of Food Science, suggests raw lettuce and raw apples reduce the concentration of "aroma volatiles" (aka STANK) in your breath by up to 50% within 30 minutes. Cooked apple, apple juice, and cooked or heated lettuce may also be effective, the study found.

This solves so many problems, like what to do when you want to make out with a hottie but you just ate garlic sticks and you don't have any Altoids on hand but you do have that head of lettuce in your fridge. Also: what to do with that lettuce in your fridge? Is lettuce a food? Kind of. But now, you can think of it as more of an after-dinner breath mint.

So on your next date, carry a head of lettuce in your purse. Because nothing screams "SEX" like ripping off a leaf of lettuce and munching on it seductively to let your date know you're open to sucking face.

Article 14

Dad hilariously recreates daughter's modeling shoot.

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During KendelDivarco's senior year of high school last year, she won an all-expenses-paid modeling shoot at the swanky Green Valley Ranch resort in Las Vegas. When her dad Vince, found himself at the very same hotel on a recent business trip, he really had basically no choice (according to Ancient Dad Rules) but to recreate the poses from her shoot, showing off some Blue Steel and charming the internet.

On September 18, Kendel tweeted the series of photos, and that tweet has now been liked 10,000 times and retweeted almost 4,500 times.

Oooh, flirty!
This pose is called Pensive By The Pool.
Just a regular stand, like people do.
Looks like they changed the outdoor furniture a tad, but you get the idea.

Divarco actually wasn't too surprised by her dad's shenanigans (shedadigans?), telling BuzzFeed News, "My parents have always done crazy things. But I am a little upset my dad looked better than I did in most of them."

Fans are turning the internet Upside Down looking for 'Stranger Things' Halloween costumes.

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If you are planning on dressing up as Eleven from the Netflix hit Stranger Thingsthis Halloween, you are definitely not alone.

Clothing retailer Lyst conducted an analysis of it most popular searches, and found that people have been clamoring for pink Peter Pan-collared dresses and dark blue bomber jackets. Pair that with a shake-and-go blonde wing and your old gross sneakers and voilà! You got yourself a Halloween costume.

You walking up the driveway to get some candy.

This dress and this jacket in particular have been popular (the jacket has already seen 89% more views than last month), and though the whole ensemble might cost you a bit more than you may want to spend on a costume, you can wear these pieces long after you finish eating your Halloween candy.

Everyone loves a group costume.

Lyst also claims that blouses reminiscent of the character Barb have been popular, with pussy bow blouses seeing a 42% bump compared to this time last month. Over 3,000 people have also searched for "ruffled gingham shirts."

Eleven's outfit is actually of the perfect Halloween costume. It looks warm enough for a chilly fall night, comfortable enough to take your kids trick-or-treating in (sneakers!!), and it's a little spooky as well.

Democrat's campaign ad features drag queens slaying 'Firework.'

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Scott Wiener, a Democratic candidate for California state senate, recruited drag queens Carnie Asada, Au Jus, and Miz Palou to make the ultimate campaign ad (all offense intended to Trump's horror movies). Wiener, an openly gay politician who has no relation to the other political Weiner, will have you singing “Scott’s the one who’ll do the work, he’s always shown us what he’s worth. Scott for Senate, oh oh oh, our voice in Sacramento-oh-oh.”

The ad not only features cool queens and catchy quotes, but the ultimate sizzle reel of San Francisco sites in the background.

Hillary should jump on it and feature drag queens in her ads, even though she already has the real Katy Perry on board.

She's really, really with her.

I'M WITH HER❗️#demdebate

A photo posted by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on

Article 10

This guy spent over $25k to look like David Beckham. Hopefully he can get a refund.

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19-year-old Jack Johnson has a dream to look like David Beckham. In order to achieve that dream, the unemployed teenager, who is currently living off benefits from the government, took out £20,000 in loans (about $26,000 US dollars) to transform himself into the famous soccer star.

It didn't really work.

Hopefully he can get a refund.

Johnson sat down with This Morning hosts Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby to discuss his transformation, resulting in a delightfully awkward six minutes of television.

Well, Johnson still has a ways to go before he could be a body double for Mr. Posh Spice. His eyebrows, while on fleek, are nothing like Beckham's, and his hair looks more like Macklemore's than ol' Becks'.

Twitter also weighed in on Johnson's appearance on This Morning, and they were pretty ruthless.

Johnson predicts he'll need £30,000 more for the rest of his surgeries. He also admitted he has no idea how he will pay back the money. Unfortunately, all the money in the world can't buy you beauty or brains.


Woman gets slick revenge on classmate who won't stop asking to borrow her stuff.

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Redditor hzkanderson was allowed to choose where she sat at school, but didn't realize she was "sitting next to a crazy person until after the seating was solidified." She ended up being stuck with an epic mooch who went so far as to eat her food without asking. This, of course, would be justification for homicide, but hzkanderson had a better plan.

Ok so everyday for a few weeks, this girl I sat next to in class would always ask me for stuff. Like everyday it would be a pencil, paper, eraser, food, etc. I'm a pretty giving person, but after awhile she got the expectation that I would give her shit no matter what and she just started taking stuff without asking.

So how do you say no to someone who shouldn't have asked in the first place, without having to actually say no?

One day I brought a small tube of hand lotion, just because I recently got a new tat and would put some lotion on it throughout the day. Anyways, this girl of course sees this and immediately asks to borrow some. I have no idea why the hell she'd want lotion in the middle of a lecture, but to hell with it. I'd been tired of her freeloading off of me so I decided to get my revenge. So I told her "Of course, here", she sticks out her hand and with a smile, I give her the biggest handful of lotion. I'm talking like half the tube amount of lotion. She just gives me the biggest wtf look and I return to taking notes. Totally worth the staredown I got from her for the rest of the lecture as she tried to get rid of all the lotion.

Totally worth it. Moral of the story: even nice girls have their limits. And buy lotion in bulk.

Article 7

This map of the most ordered delivery food in every state will make you hungry.

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As our nation has collectively decided to stop cooking (because we are too busy watching cooking shows), it shouldn't surprise anyone that online food delivery orders have increased 125% since 2010. What we've lost in our ability to boil water, however, we've made up for with tons of data. Eater teamed up with GrubHub to make this handy map of the most popular delivery orders in every state, so that we may judge each of our neighbors for their food choices. The first thing you should know: chicken, usually fried, accounts for 30% of all delivery orders.

Can you guess the state by the food they order? This game only works if you can usually only identify states by the little initials.

Northeast + Midwest

That's not pizza in Wisconsin. That's cheese curds. Obviously.

The northeast has their fair share of pizza and chicken, but then midwestern Iowa pulls the gyro out of nowhere. Go ahead, Iowa, get that lamb meat. Missourians order spaghetti, which is still apparently exotic in Missouri.

Southeast

Guess they still cook in Arkansas and Mississippi

South Carolina is the only state on the on the East Coast that's going for Chinese, but then you have Alabama going for pita? How are they counting that different than gyro, what are they putting in them?

Northwest

????

Lots of states unaccounted for (or don't have GrubHub). Very suspicious.

Southwest, aka Crazy Country.

Freakin' lawless.

California is ordering fish like it's something that delivers well, French fries are not a meal, Arizona, and Utah... is ordering cinnamon sticks. That's not even food! But the biggest crime here is New Mexico with their salads. If they gets attacked my any of it's neighbors, we'll know why.

Eater and GrubHub made a a bunch of other infographics you can check out here, like which are the most popular sushi rolls by state and what kind of chicken people are ordering. Maybe soon they'll figure out what is going into those pitas.

Watch 4 epic 'Star Wars' makeup transformations in less than 12 parsecs.

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Halloween is coming and this year especially (because of The Force Awakens), lots of people are going to be dressing up in Star Warsgarb to live out their fantasies of life in a galaxy far, far away. Disney Style channeled the Millennium Falcon doing the Kessel Run in this super speedy timelapse video that shows ordinary humans getting the galaxy's hottest makeup looks from Jakku, Alderaan, the Empire, and beyond.

There are guaranteed to be a bunch of Leias and Reys at your Halloween party. To make your Star Wars look really stand out, try turning a Stormtrooper or Darth Vader costume into a political statement about a certain (slightly evil) presidential candidate.

This sketch about a recovery center for rapists is a brutally effective satire.

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In the wake of the catch-and-release of Stanford rapist Brock Turner and the drama around women exposing a rapist in the NYC comedy community, Above Average pulled zero punches with their newest sketch, "Rapists Now Have Their Own Recovery Center."

Taking a long, hard look at the culture of denial, boys will be boys, and GoFundMe accounts for criminals, comedian Ben Rameaka does a great job playing the Second Chances' nauseatingly charming founder. As the video's tagline sums up, "Second chances are hard to come by, but when they do, they’re strictly reserved for people who need them the least." Keep watching after the credits for a bonus scene between the actors.

Dustin from 'Stranger Things' talked about his disability and it will make you want to hug him.

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Gaten Matarazzo, the precocious young actor who plays Dustin on Stranger Things, has cleidocranial dysplasia,​ a condition that affects bone growth. His real disability was incorporated into his role on Stranger Things—a bully at school makes fun of his character for still having his baby teeth, something that really happens to people with cleidocranial dysplasia. Matarazzo has apparently missed out on tons of acting roles in the past because of his condition.

On The Jonathan Ross Show, Matarazzo talked about what his condition means for him right now—and how it could affect his own kids in the future.

"I just want to raise awareness for it and let people know that it’s not something they should be afraid of showing," he said.

As one commenter on BuzzFeed said:

He's not an inspiration, and he's not brave. He's a human being who is living his life, to the best of his abilities.

This is what I keep repeating to myself, because I know that's probably what he believes about himself. But it's hard not to be inspired by him. He makes me want to be my best self, despite my disability.

He's probably young enough to be my son, but he's my hero.

Disney just can't wait to ruin your childhood with a live-action 'Lion King' reboot.

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Walt Disney Studios has officially confirmed that the next animated classic they will turn into a live-action film is The Lion King. Because, you know, The Lion King, The Lion King 1 1/2, The Lion King 2 and a full blown Broadway musical just weren't enough.

Disney has put the project on a fast track to production, with Jon Favreau is set to direct. Favreau recently directed the wildly successful 2016 reimagining of The Jungle Book, so although many people are hesitant about remakes of classics, the project is in good hands.

The Lion King is the latest in a long line of live-action Disney remakes, joining Maleficent, Cinderella, and the highly anticipated Beauty and the Beast retelling.

You can't run from your childhood movies getting remade.

Still, as a viewer, I have so many questions! Will I still be weirdly attracted to Simba in this version? Will MatthewBroderick still voice (adult) Simba? Will we all still be able to feel the love tonight?

The movie has no release date yet, so we will just have to wait and see.


5 Ways to Have an Awesome Korean BBQ Shrimp Date Night.

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This article was made in partnership with Red Lobster.

You know what turns a regular ol' date night into something special? Taking your date on a culinary adventure. Here are five simple steps to wow your special someone by trying something new at Red Lobster.

1. Ask Someone Out On A Date.

Ask someone you like if they'll join you on a culinary adventure. Be smooth and steer clear of cheesy pick-up lines like, "Do you want to go to Red Lobster with me, or are you too shellfish?"

2. Order Endless Shrimp

You got the date! Now, comes the easy part: sit back, relax, and leave the cooking to the experts. For a limited time during Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster, you can enjoy as much shrimp as you want, any way you want. And, you can show you're not afraid to try something new with choices like the sweet and savory new Korean BBQ Shrimp or playing footsie under the table while you order refills of your favorite shrimp flavors. But Endless Shrimp is only available for a limited time, so what are you waiting for?

3. Break Out Korean BBQ Trivia

You've already shown your date you have great taste, now impress him or her with your knowledge. Nothing says "I'm a brilliant genius" like peppering in a few interesting facts about the super popular Korean BBQ flavor into the conversation. Here's some trivia…Did you know?

  • Korean BBQ Shrimp is made by combining sweet, savory soy ginger sauce and Korean Gochujang Paste with wood‐grilled shrimp
  • Red Lobster brought Korean BBQ to the menu because guests’ said they would make a special trip just to try it
  • The only thing more exciting than Korean BBQ Shrimp is you (the smartest thing you can ever do, is throw in a compliment)

4. Make It Fun.

There are some brilliant ways to have fun with the Endless Shrimp menu items and explore your own favorite dishes. Show your inner chef by creating a Shrimp Po Boy using your Hand-Breaded Shrimp on a Cheddar Bay Biscuit. Or, maybe spice up your Shrimp Linguini Alfredo with Korean BBQ Shrimp…there are unlimited possibilities. Have a craving for something? There’s a sauce for that... try the piña colada dipping sauce instead of the cocktail sauce with the Hand-Breaded Shrimp. Other sauce side options include brown butter and garlic scampi butter…just ask!

5. Order More Shrimp.

Did you know that shrimp are delicious AND magical? The more kinds of shrimp you try, the more deeply in love you will fall. That's a lie, but it doesn't hurt to try. Thanks to Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster you can treat your date and your taste buds to some classic and new delicious flavors

  • New! Parmesan Peppercorn Shrimp: Hand-breaded shrimp topped with grated Parmesan and cracked black pepper, served with a side of Meyer lemon aioli.
  • Hand-Crafted Shrimp Scampi: Shrimp in a garlic and white wine butter sauce
  • Hand-Breaded Shrimp: Hand-breaded shrimp fried to a golden brown
  • Shrimp Linguini Alfredo: Tender shrimp in creamy garlic Parmesan sauce, served over linguini

You may or may not get a second date, but if you follow these easy steps you’ll have fun exploring new flavors.

Article 0

Moms are refurbishing their vaginas with the 10-minute 'vagina lift' surgery.

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34-year-old Angela Timson from Leicestershire, UK told the Daily Mail that after having two big babies, her vagina felt dry and stretched-out, so she underwent a laser procedure called Nu-V. This revolutionary surgery claims to tighten up the ol' ladyparts, creating, in effect, a more "youthful" vagina (turning that hallway back into a crawl space). Just a week later, Timson says she's having better orgasms during sex with her husband. Hmm.

The 10-minute, £500 (about $650) Nu-V (New Vagina?) procedure was developed by clinical director Dr. Natasha Ranga and nurse Emma Soos, who allegedly suffered the same symptoms as Timson after they had their own kids.

According to the Daily Mail, the Nu-V treatment consists of inserting a "cage-like" cylinder (uh-huh) and "speculum-style tool" (uhhh, okay) into the vagina to laser (OH HELL NO) the inside, and a "lasering" (please stop) of the vulva (including the clitoris and labia) afterwards. Timson claims the process was only mildly uncomfortable, and she was able to return to work right after.

Of sex with her husband post-procedure, Timson told the Daily Mail,

We waited for four days and my partner was very satisfied. Then we did it seven days later and on this occasion I felt more tightness. I did feel better. So the sexual experience has been really good. I've never had a problem orgasming with my current partner but the two times that we did it the orgasm was more intense.

Dr. Ranga bills Nu-V as a vaginoplasty (surgical reconstruction of the vagina) alternative, saying,

It offers multiple benefits including increased sensation, sexual gratification for woman and her partner, increased climax, reduced vaginal dryness in pre an post-menopausal women, improved circulation, rejuvenation of labia and it can even improve some bladder concerns.

Okay, great, whatever, just please stop saying the word "laser" so close to the word "vagina," since I can't possibly cross my legs any tighter.

Article 48

Here's some depressing news for women who are on the pill.

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A new study in the Journal of the American Medical Association claims that women who take birth control pills are more likely to be treated for depression. Unlike many "studies" you read about online, this one actually had a very large sample size. Well, better go buy some condoms.

The study was done in Denmark and examined the medical records of over one million women. It found that those on a combined pill (one that suppresses ovulation) were 23% more likely to be prescribed an antidepressant than a woman who is not on birth control. Numbers for women who take progestin-only birth control pills (synthetic hormone pills) were even worse, at 34%. The study also notes that patients are most commonly prescribed antidepressants within the first six months of going on birth control.

Diagnosed depression also appeared to be most common in adolescent girls. Adolescents taking combined pills were 80% more likely to be prescribed antidepressants, and those on progestin-only pills were more than twice as likely to receive antidepressants.

In general, women are twice as likely to suffer from depression in their lifetime as men, so this is just the cherry on top of the sh*t-sundae of being a woman.

Given the size of the study, doctors and researchers want to look more into how birth control pills link to depression. Until then, doctors urge you to keep taking your birth control pills. An unplanned pregnancy probably won't make you any less depressed.

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