Another day, another avalanche of news! If you have a short attention span, don't worry. Here's a super-fast rundown of everything you need to know for today.

1. A 23-year-old man was charged with growing more than 40 marijuana plants in a Vermont cemetery.

2. An ancient Mayan codex was found to be the oldest document from the Americas.

3. A 59-year-old man was charged for wearing a bikini made out of of see-through plastic wrap on a NJ beach.

4. A fishermen was found clinging to a cooler 23 miles off of the Florida coast.

5. Hungry wild pigs are destroying front yards in a Northern California neighborhood.

6. Tim Kaine and Mike Pence are facing off tonight in a Vice Presidential Debate.

7. WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange is (still) promising a “significant” leak on the U.S. election.

Chrissy Teigen is not just a hilarious supermodel and one half of the most enviable marriage in the world, she's also an accidental CRIMINAL! That's what she revealed when she told an anecdote on Ellen today that involved her opening someone else's mail. That someone else being Rihanna. The Rihanna.

Apparently, Teigen lives in Rihanna's old house with John Legend (yes, really). So, for a while, she'd get some of Rihanna's mail. So she opened the mail. Because it belonged to Rihanna.

“You know that’s illegal, right?” DeGeneres asked her.

“But it’s my house now," Teigen said.

That's Chrissy Teigen—so down to earth that she'll commit a felony without even realizing it!

After the first debate, Donald Trump blamed his poorly received performance on a dysfunctional microphone. This is how the First Lady of the United States responded:

Damn Michelle. Damn.

Our readers have worked with some real weirdos. So many, in fact, that we couldn't fit all of them in our first story round-up. From a woman whose one-upmanship was so severe she faked a pregnancy to a guy who probably would have addressed his alcoholism sooner if he wasn't the boss's kid, Someecards readers have worked with the cream of the crazy crop. Here are 15 of the best stories we received from readers who suffered through the weirdest coworkers the office has to offer.

1. Maura's story would have also worked in our "Creepy Bosses" roundup, but it definitely also fits here.

I work at an office, where for the most part, we are all really professional. However, my former boss (I now work for a different person but same building) apparently loves feet. We were having CPR training where we had to kneel on the floor next to a dummy. I took off my 4 inch heels (don't worry, I regularly pedicure) and he came up behind me and tickled my feet. My bare feet.

2. Alicia on Facebook wrote this post to remind everyone that there's weird-weird and then there's sad-weird. This is sad-weird.

I work with a guy that constantly talks about his wife and kids. The problem is, the kids have been the same age for the last 6 years. The "wife" unfriended him about 3 years ago. I waited for the "divorce" but it never came. He is always inventing something someone has already invented and tries to pass it off as his own, in excruciating detail. His stories are completely outrageous. I can't decide what's worse, his stories or the fact that everyone he works with (about 100) completely goes along with it even though we all know his life is fake.

3. Here's a post from a reader who wished to stay anonymous about a sight they wished had stayed unseen.

I work at a group home for developmentally disabled adults. An obese coworker of mine has a bad hygiene problem and has been repeatedly talked to about it. One day she was giving a client a shower and I decided to see if she needed help because said client tends to fall.

Opened the bathroom door and got to see the coworker with her shirt pulled up to her shoulders pants and underwear pulled down wiping her whole body with baby wipes. Quickly walked back out again. Luckily she had the client in the shower behind the curtain so hopefully she didn't have to see that too. Needless to say, she doesn't work here anymore.

4. Jessica wrote us with two stories. The first is about a very nice but very, very odd gentleman with unusual appetites.

So here is my weird coworker story…

A few years ago, I worked in a call center, and the man that sat right across from me was the nicest guy, but also one of the weirdest coworkers I’ve ever encountered. Here is a quick run down of the odd things he did..

-He would sit at his desk and openly pick his nose and eat it. If I should make eye contact during his daily booger snack, he would just duck down a little and cover his nose with his free hand, as if he had the mindset of a toddler; if you can’t see it, it’s not happening.

-This guy LOVED to eat (and not just boogers). He was almost always eating and when he did, he somehow mastered the art of breathing through his nose while chewing away. It was very weird and his nose often whistled while he did this, so it was very irritating as well. He would often come back from the canteen with 2 or 3 sandwiches, at least 2 bags of chips, 2 sodas, and some candy. Pot luck & company-provided lunches were a free-for-all for him. He would often pile up 2 plates to overflowing and then go back for seconds. My employer actually had to institute a rule about not getting seconds until everyone had eaten because of this guy. Otherwise, he would eat until it was all gone and it would be all gone before some people even had a chance to go on their lunch.

- He also had a dental bridge... his 4 front teeth were fake. If he took a particular liking to something, he could often be seen removing his bridge to lick it clean.

5. Jessica's other coworker was a very different type of gross. Frankly, we'll take booger man over her any day of the week.

Another coworker from the same job: typical crazy cat lady. She had 6 cats that she talked about non-stop. She even moved from one apartment to another when her landlord gave her an ultimatum: get rid of 2 cats or move. She had pictures of her cats and cat related things all over desk.

The weirdest thing about this woman though, had nothing to do with her cats. She was an unabashed non-hand-washer. She would go to the restroom, be very obvious about the fact that she was going #2 and then just walk out of the restroom like she didn’t even know what the sink was for. The complaints about her behavior got so bad, that the employer eventually installed hand sanitizer stations just outside the bathrooms. She didn’t use those either.

The absolute WORST thing this woman did though…whenever the was a free lunch provided or a potluck lunch, she always made sure she was the first one to the food and then would proceed to paw through it with her BARE f**king hands. Pretty gross for a person with normal hygiene habits, but absolutely disgusting for someone who will drop a huge deuce and forgo washing her hands. She even licked a spoon once that was in a crock pot of homemade chili that someone had brought and then put in back in the pot. The word spread pretty quickly about what she had done, so of course no one was willing to partake. The person who made the chili must’ve thought everyone hated it. Poor thing.

6. Keith has a one-line story that we weren't going to include at first, but we've thought about it around 200 times since reading it.

Guy ate toothpaste and drank milk.

7. Dianne worked with the most absentminded/unluckiest person on earth.

I once worked with a girl that came to work half naked one morning. She forgot to put her top on and ended up wearing just her bra and a denim jacket to the office. She was sent home to put some clothes on! In the 3 months I worked with her she also fell in a pond on her lunch break and had her foot run over by her boyfriends car.

8. Lin has worked with a lot of weirdos, and has a very good memory.

I work in administration at a post-secondary educational institution and have the bittersweet joy of witnessing a lot of weirdness.

Aside from those with rather limited faculties regularly exposing themselves through a yearly "Reply-All Debacle," my particular campus seems to have an unspoken "pooping" washroom on the top floor. It was nearly daily I would see people from other floors leaving the washroom and it didn't take long to pick up on that being the indicator to give it some "time to breathe."

One guy would show up like mooch magic every time there was a meeting or gathering on our floor with plastic grocery bags to in hand to take home leftovers (I kid you not, he emptied a bowl of Caesar salad into one once). He's since retired. There was a gathering and I didn't see the end but I'm sure he came "prepared."

There is a couple who have to be in their fifties and I never see one without the other. They are always holding hands and walking around. I never hear them speak or see them smile. They work here but I have no clue what they do. I have to mention the hand holding again... it is constant.

One of my fellow admins had called security because of a rough, shady looking guy hanging out near the daycare. I found this out after introducing her to him, because we were visiting the area he works in and it is one of the departments I support.

At an old job (selling mobile phones), I kept spotting boogers stuck to the wall next to the break room table and in the bathroom next to the toilet. I knew who was doing it and the guy was 30. He regularly kept female customers' cell numbers even though he was married. Sicko. He's a manager the last I heard.

9. Dorothy wrote us about a fellow teacher whose relentless one-upmanship ended up in a one-way ticket to the nuthouse.

My third year teaching, I had a coworker who was jealous of everyone, and if any life event happened to someone and they talked about it, the same thing happened to her. If someone got engaged she was engaged, married, parent died, etc. It happened recently to her too.

Well, one year, another coworker shared about her infertility issues and wanted people to pray and send good vibes because she was going through with IVF. Well, Janice (not her real name) exclaimed that she was doing IVF too. A few months later, the same coworker announced that the IVF was successful and she was pregnant with twins. Not to be outdone, Janice announced that she too was pregnant, but with triplets. The next day, she shows up to work with what looks like a pregnant belly. It looked like she stuffed a small pillow under her shirt.

Every day for the next couple of months, she would show up with a pillow under her shirt. Unfortunately, she would forget to put in the same pillow, so some weeks she would look 6 months pregnant, 9 months pregnant, back to 6 months again. It was never consistent.

Her students kept telling the other teachers that the pillow would sometimes shift and move, and a couple even claimed it fell out in the middle of class. We tried telling the principal about it, but he was a man and was uncomfortable asking about it to her.

When it was time for the other coworker to go on maternity leave, because she had to be on bed rest, all the employees pooled our money together to buy her a double stroller. Janice refused to put money in because she was saving up for her triplets and announced she was going to have to go on bed rest too.

Finally, the principal talked to the school district's human resources department, who brought her in for a talk. It turned out she was not married and, as we all suspected, not pregnant. This was on a Friday. On Monday she comes back to work with a flat stomach and tells everyone in the lounge she miscarried and was crying hysterically. Unfortunately, she was not supposed to be at work. HR had set her up with a few weeks of absence to get her mind right. She refused to leave when the principal asked her, and he had to call her emergency contacts (her brother and mother) to come get her. They ended up committing her to a hospital and she never returned. Sounds crazy but this really happened.

10. A reader going by Edelweiss worked with this guy. Well, they mostly worked with his cat.

I used to work with a guy who we had to manage through his cat. By that I mean that if you wanted him to do something, rather than saying "Joe, could you sweep the floor please?", you had to say "Joe, Tabby (his cat's name) would like you to sweep the floor." He wouldn't do it if you asked him straight.

11. Maria worked in IT, which unfortunately didn't stand for "In Treatment" for this guy.

When I first got hired at my job, one of our IT guys was a raging alcoholic. I would catch him staring off into space at his desk multiple times a day, yelling into his phone at random people (including his wife), or just straight up disappearing for hours at a time. He tried to kiss multiple female coworkers and he said some insanely lewd things to me my first week working there. Come to find out, his dad was a partner in the company and that's the whole reason he still had a job.

Anyway, one fine day I arrived a little early to work and he arrived soon after, making us the only two people in the office. About half an hour after he arrived, I heard him pounding on his keyboard, which unfortunately wasn't unusual. But it started getting louder and he started grunting. I looked over and he was still on the welcome screen on his computer. He was so drunk he couldn't remember his password. At 9 AM. Other people finally started to arrive while he was still trying to figure his password out. Finally, he stood up, put his sunglasses on, grabbed his spiked coffee cup and announced he was going on a quick walk.

Our supervisor left at pretty much the same time and went to buy an electronic breathalyzer. He blew a .32. Needless to say he doesn't work here anymore.

Oh! And the day before his final termination I heard him yelling into his phone "listen, don't call me again until you have this figured out. It's not my problem. Oh my gosh... no, no... don't cry. God Carlos, don't cry!" Come to find out, Carlos was his supervisor. He was an insanely crazy guy.

12. This anonymous reader said their coworker really "takes the cake" but she kind of actually hands it out.

1) her watch battery died one day, and she looked disappointed in herself and said "ohhh...I should have worn it more!" She thought wearing the watch (battery operated) would make the battery last longer.

2) on her birthday one year, she brought in a cake and an empty birthday card. She emailed the entire office (100+ people including execs), stating that she would give you a piece of cake if you signed her card. Once people started coming by, she literally stood over you while you signed her card and would give you a piece of cake once you gave her the pen back.

13. Uh, this Sally person an anonymous reader wrote us about sounds a LOT like Janice the one-upper from #9:

One woman at my old job, let's call her Sally (not her real name), had a lot of bad habits. One of her biggest ones was that it was always easy to know when she would call out because if someone else, literally anyone else in the building, got sick, had an accident, or some other reason they had to call out, the next day Sally would have something similar but slightly worse happen to her so she would be out for several days. Then she would come back completely fine.

At one point, she was even wearing an arm sling, saying her arm was broken after someone had a fractured ankle, and we would watch her take it off like a pro in the car. She chronically lied about a lot of things. The bad part was we worked in an understaffed school, so when she called out as often as she did (it added up to many weeks) we had to find ways to cover for her. Lots of other stuff, too, but you guys said you just wanted the quirky stuff. Long story short - I'm surprised she kept her job the whole year, and things got really weird at the end.

14. Nicole Loper has already been chronicling her weird coworker on Facebook, and sent us some choice screenshots.

I give you some recent Facebook status updates...this lady surpasses weird!​

And then...

And today...

15. Finally, Jillian worked with a better-adjusted version of Carrie. The one from Carrie, not the one from Sex In The City.

I worked for years with this girl in an office setting. She was a year younger than mem so when I was 28 she was 27. She lived at home and referred to her parents as Mother and Father. She reminded me of someone who grew up in a cult...she was a little off.

Just a few that I remember were one time her sitting at a picnic table in front of the building (in full view of the publisher's office - who at one point had been in the seminary) fully making out for her lunch hour. It was full on, everyone including any customers coming I could see.

She would also tell us that she was going to get her period because "Mother" tracked it on the calendar. She used to call out for snow days and say she was plowed in when there was 3" of snow. She was definitely not quite right (we still bring it up with the lady who hired her...how could you not realize).

Tonight at 9PM EST at Longwood University in Virginia, the vice presidential candidates will face off in their only debate. Gov. Mike Pence will try to convince voters the Trump ticket is stable (while Trump live-tweets the debate). Gov. Tim Kaine will try to resist the urge to break out an acoustic guitar in an attempt to rap with the youngs. Here's PBS' live feed, but if you're waiting for it to start, check out some articles about Pence and Kaine below:

Mike Pence:

1. 21 tweets about Mike Pence that are funnier than this election.

2. Gamers threaten to pull lucrative convention if Indiana goes forward with anti-gay law.

3. Donald Trump's air kiss to Mike Pence was awkward af.

4. Women are calling the Indiana governor's office with period stories to make an exclamation point.

5. Mike Pence once wrote an insane op-ed calling 'Mulan' mischievous liberal propaganda.

Tim Kaine​...uh... hold on, we must have written about him somewhere... oh, right, he was picked because he is truly boring and is basically never in the news. Here are some stories where he makes a cameo:

1. The best images of Dems forgetting their worries and just bouncing around some balloons.

2. 32 of the best reactions from celebs and comics to DNC Day 3: Biden, Bloomberg, Kaine, and Obama.

3. Following politics is too exhausting, so here's Stephen Colbert summarizing the past two weeks.

4. It's the DNC's turn to get roasted by John Oliver, and yet somehow, the conversation returns to Trump.

The VP debate between Gov. Mike Pence (R) and Gov. Tim Kaine (D) is airing tonight at 9pm EST... but at around 7pm EST, this article went up on the GOP website: "Who Won the Vice Presidential Debate." We'll give you one guess who they thought won (full text below):

Americans from all across the country tuned in to watch the one and only Vice Presidential debate. During the debate we helped fact check and monitor the conversation in real time @GOP. The consensus was clear after the dust settled, Mike Pence was the clear winner of the debate.

Mike Pence's top moments from the debate:

Economy
Highlighting Hillary's scandals

Mike Pence made the most of his opportunity to debate Hillary's VP pick Tim Kaine. The other clear winner from tonight's debate was Donald Trump. His running mate perfectly shared Trump's vision to make America great again and that message is resonating with Americans all across the country.

There you have it, folks. Straight from the future, Mike Pence's greatest debate moment was "Economy." The consensus is already clear.

The page was taken down at roughly 7:30pm. Hopefully, they'll have time to write some punchier copy, because it was pretty tame (and missing some commas).

Thanks to interruptions that made it inaudible, the vice presidential debate was utter garbage to listen to in my bedroom alone drinking wine (also I hope if Hillary Clinton becomes president, if Tim Kaine ever interrupts her like he kept doing to the moderator, that she sends him to Guantanamo). Even worse if you're a pinko like me were Donald Trump's livetweets of the whole affair. Here are some of the snarkiest responses. Send more wine, please.

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Honestly someone send arsenic I'll also take that.

Tim Kaine. Mike Pence. Two names. Four syllables. A white bread sandwich filled with mayo and thinly-veiled contempt. Here are some of the funniest reactions from comics and other observers to the one and only 2016 Vice Presidential debate!

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If you managed to stay awake through last night's Vice Presidential debate, you may have heard Indiana Governor Mike Pence thank Norwood University, a completely nonexistent place that he apparently made up, for hosting the event.

The debate was, in fact, held at Longwood University in Farmville, Virginia.

In any other election, the snafu may have been more newsworthy, but so much crazy sh*t has gone down in the last 14 months that everyone is pretty much willing to let this one slide.

Much to the chagrin of Longwood University, Norwood University even became a trending topic on Twitter.

It was an embarrassing faux pas, but not, like, women-should-hold-fetus-funerals-after their-abortion embarrassing.

Despite that rocky opening, Pence stayed calm and collected during the debate. After having to deal with Trump, everything else probably seems pretty damn easy.

A British advocacy group called Fathers 4 Justice has dreamed up a delicious new way to raise awareness for men's health issues: Viagra sausage. Finally, you can incorporate cured meats into your foreplay.

Of course, the sausages don't literally contain Viagra, which is a prescription-only drug. But don't let your sausage wilt at that disappointing news. These bangers are chock full of herbal ingredients that will (supposedly) turn your soggy Vienna sausage into a foot-long kielbasa. Every Viagra sausage contains two kinds of ginseng, L-arginine, and horny goat weed. Even if those herbs don't work, you'll probably get aroused just from saying the words "horny goat weed."

Plus, F4J's sausages support #SaveOurSausages, a campaign raising awareness for men's health issues like depression, low testosterone, cancer, and suicide. It's certainly an important cause, and if supporting it requires me to eat pork and spring a boner, then so be it.

Tuesday night's vice presidential debate was an exciting topic on Twitter, late night TV, and basically nowhere else. In fact, according to an ABC News survey from earlier in the week, more than 40 percent of Americans couldn't even name the candidates.

So if you missed the debate, don't worry, these boiled down segments will mostly catch you up, minus the snoring (which came mostly from the audience, a little from moderator Elaine Quijano, and a bit from vice presidential candidates Tim "I'm With Her" Kaine and Mike "I Guess I'm With Trump?" Pence).

Several of the late night shows aired live after the debates instead of their usual pre-tape routines, the better to make "white bread" jokes about what they just watched.

1. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert summed up the debate thusly: "Both men tried their hardest but it was like watching a loaf of white bread get pistol-whipped by a jar of mayonnaise. Not a lot of flavor, but there was a clear winner."

The Late Show also "streamed" the debate while it was on, with a specially-chosen focus group consisting of undecided voters/kittens.

2. Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Kimmel also described the debate as a battle involving mayonnaise, and then revealed that he'd invited Republican Party candidate Mike Pence and Democratic Party candidate Tim Kaine to come on his show for a post-debate debate. Naturally the panel would include Kimmel himself, who proclaimed himself the Let's Party Party (vice-presidential?) candidate. In a surprising turn of events, however, the other two didn't show.

3. The Daily Show

The Daily Show also had their own live-stream of the debate, between a Democratic glass of milk and a Republican piece of white bread. Who knew the vice-presidential debate would be so full of bland food!

4. Late Night with Seth Meyers

Late Night with Seth Meyers was pre-taped, but that didn't stop them from jokingthat, after the debate, Pence could "go back to his real job: Coaching the opposing team on The Mighty Ducks."

Plus, the "A Closer Look" segment reviewed the stakes for the debate, which was set in the wake of another spectacularly terrible week for Trump. Microphone jokes were made, of course, because Trump just can't seem to let it go (kind of like his attraction to his own daughter).

Netflix released the teaser trailer for Lemony Snicket'sA Series of Unfortunate Eventstoday, and it might be the first television show in history to warn all prospective viewers to try something more uplifting instead, like House of Cards or Cannibal Holocaust.

Point taken, Lemony Snicket.

By the way, yes that is Patrick Warburton—aka Puddy, the boyfriend of Seinfeld's Elaine—as Lemony.

The weather has gotten cooler and the leaves are starting to change color, which means it's time to tuck your scarf into your jacket, buy a pumpkin spice latte, and give a big ol' middle finger to anyone who sighs and says wistfully, "We should go apple picking!"

Yes, it's time to admit that apple picking sucks balls.

First of all, it is always inconvenient to get there. No matter where you live in the country, apple picking is two hours away. Probably because if you actually live near an orchard, you won't have sentimentalized the process of harvesting fruit.

Then, after all that driving and build-up, the actual picking of the apples is extremely anticlimactic. Let's say the weather cooperates, and some friend or snake from the Garden of Eden manages to coerce you into going with them. It only take two seconds to yank an apple free from a branch; multiply that by 25 apples—more than any human could possibly need—and you're still done in under a minute.

If you go to an organic orchard, the apples are tiny and pitiful and inhabited by worms. If you don't, they're covered in scary pesticides that ruin any notion you had of eating fruit directly off the tree (you have to pay for it first, anyway).

You're pretty much guaranteed that the only varieties ripe this week are called something like Tarty Tango and Mealy McBadmouthfeel (best used not for baking or snacking, but for lobbing at the person who convinced you this was a good idea).

On top of that, it's an activity traditionally done with children, a demographic known for being impatient during long car rides, whiny when forced to walk a long way, fearful of bugs, and for their stubborn refusal to enjoy whatever activity you just shelled out a shocking amount of money for them to do.

It is the great privilege of many Americans to be able to stroll into a farmers' market or grocery store and buy as many apples as they please, in any variety. A disturbing trick has been played on us all to fool the masses into thinking there is something romantic about picking fruit directly from the sunny, scratchy, buggy, fertilizer-and-chemical-filled tree.

So can we finally confess that what we actually want to do to celebrate the arrival of fall is wash down apple cider donuts with hot apple cider while being pulled through an orchard in some sort of covered, temperature-controlled wagon (a car)?

Then we want to come home and be fed homemade (by someone else) applesauce, muffins, cobblers, pies, and apple-butter-covered biscuits on the couch, maybe with the windows cracked open if it's between 66 and 72 degrees outside, and look at Facebook photos of other people's families sitting on hay bales like suckers.

Sarah Palin, a former VP candidate herself, had an interesting observation about the debate between the current candidates at Longwood University Tuesday night. The proud hockey mom pointed out that all of the VP debates of the past two decades have been seated, with the exception of one (her own).

Her observation comes ~on the heels~ of a campaign full of sexism.

According to Palin, dudes just keep "lucking out" into chairs. It's interesting, especially considering the balancing act a woman must accomplish to appear smart without appearing preachy. In Palin's case, she was also physically keeping balance in high heels.

As the Huffington Post points out:

The anomaly is frustrating given how painful high heels are for women, who face far more scrutiny over their appearance than their male counterparts ― no matter how significant a woman’s professional accomplishments may be.

Thanks, Palin, for speaking out and reminding us of the good old days.

The breakdown of hospital bills can be really confusing, but this one might take the cake for most baffling: a new dad posted the hospital bill for his wife's labor and delivery, which included a charge of $39.35 for "skin to skin after c-sec."

The description of holding the baby is not the confusing part, it's the part where the parents had to pay to do it. The man who posted the bill (user "halfthrottle" on Reddit) explained the situation a little more in the comments, writing:

During the C-section the nurse asked my wife if she would like to do skin to skin after the baby was born. Which of course anyone would say yes too. We just noticed it in the bill today.

The nurse let me hold the baby on my wife's neck/chest. Even borrowed my camera to take a few pictures for us. Everyone involved in the process was great, and we had a positive experience. We just got a chuckle out of seeing that on the bill.

But WHY would anyone be charged for holding their baby? Well first, it's not just holding, it's skin-to-skin contact with the newborn, which has been hailed for its health benefits.

Second, here's some useful information from a nurse who commented on the thread. She wrote:

As a labor and delivery nurse, I can kind of explain this. I didn't know that hospitals charged for it, but doing 'skin to skin' in the operating room requires an additional staff member to be present just to watch the baby. We used to take all babies to the nursery once the NICU team made sure everything was okay. "Skin to skin" in the OR is a relatively new thing and requires a second Labor and Delivery RN to come in to the OR and make sure the baby is safe.

Good to know that it's a staffing charge of sorts and that the hospitals won't continue to charge people to hold and hug their babies once the leave the hospital. Probably.

In a brave af Facebook post last night, rapper Kid Cudi opened up about his lifelong struggle with anxiety and depression and said he had checked himself into rehab for treatment. "Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges," he wrote.​ "I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me."

"My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it," he wrote. "I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me?"

The 32-year-old rapper, born Scott Mescudi, said that until recently he felt "ashamed" to get help, but he made the decision not only for himself but also for his friends and family, including his daughter. "If I didn't come here, I wouldve done something to myself," he wrote. "I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times."

Relatable!

Cudi also opened up about his fears and apologized to his fans. "Im scared, im sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, Im sorry," he wrote. "Its time I fix me. Im nervous but ima get through this."

Hopefully, he inspires others who struggle with mental health problems to get the help they need.

Demi Lovato is excited for 2017 and not just because of her next big tour. The pop singer will be "taking a break from music and the spotlight," she revealed on Twitter on Tuesday. The 24-year-old added, "I am not meant for this business and the media," even including a hand-waving emoji—so you know she means business.

She continued in a follow-up tweet that fame "doesn't feel worth it anymore" and said she'd like to move on to more philanthropic pursuits:

Lovato has been fighting the good fight in the spotlight for some time, talking openly about her struggles with bulimia, cutting, and bipolar disorder, campaigning for better mental health policies, and speaking out against body shaming.

Dealing with mental health issues while in the spotlight can't be easy. And despite her huge, vocal fan base, Lovato has had her share of hate slung at her online and in the media. For example, when she recently spoke out against a fan who "body shamed" her in an Instagram portrait that had been drastically altered (in fairness, it was of her as a mermaid), commenting "that's not my body." The internet went ballistic, widely shared her comment and trolled her with insulting photos.

No wonder she needs a break. Plus, now she'll have more time to go undercover as your Lyft driver. So in the end, we all win.

Lin-Manuel Miranda, the rapping high school history teacher of your dreams and this week'sSNL host, stopped by The Tonight Show and genuinely blew Jimmy Fallon's mind with his certified genius freestyling skills.

Miranda and Black Thought of The Rootsengaged in a rap battle that's way more civilized than the ones between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson, and featured more Mr. Robot and Harry Potter than any of the cabinet meetings featured in Miranda's hit musical, Hamilton.

Fallon was so f*cking excited and enamored with Miranda, you can't help but ship this.