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This Irish PSA is either really messed up or really funny depending on the type of person you are.

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This pile of coats never saw it coming. (via YouTube)

Here's a completely nuts Irish public service announcement brought to us from DOE RoadSafety that will either make you slow down while driving or crave cold pizza. 

Holy shit! That cover of sweet child of mine was terrible. 

(by Myka Fox)


Guy does dead-on impersonations of more 'Game of Thrones' characters than you can actually remember on the show.

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"I will stop at nothing to become mayor of Baltimore!"

Steve Love is an impressionist from Canada (that place beyond the Wall), and he's created a reel of impressions for every major character (and also every "hey that guy!" character) in Season 4. The jokes are a little juvenile, but on the other hand, we're talking about a show that puts exposition scenes in a combination bathhouse/whorehouse just because

'Game of Thrones' takes place in a land of people who claim to be part of different kingdoms and yet all get their accents from the same roulette wheel of brogues and British accents that ensures that people who grew up thousands of miles apart are just as likely to speak similarly as two kids from Fleabottom. And then there's Littlefinger, wherever the hell he's from. Seriously, where is that? It sounds like someone took Sean Connery's accent to live in the Ozarks for a few years. This is something Canadians can understand, because they go from sounding Irish to drunkenly French to politely American to all-out hockey fan insanity as you move from East to West across the country. It gets even worse when they go to Europe, because all of a sudden all the Americans are claiming their accents are Canadian, too.

(by Johnny McNulty)

The best laid plans: US exchange student gets trapped in a giant Vagina sculpture.

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It's a boy! (via Erik Guzman/Imgur

On Friday, an american exchange student got himself trapped in a giant stone sculpture of a vulva on a dare at Tübingen University Institute of Microbiology in Tübingen, Germany. There wasn't enough lube in the world. 

Erik Guzman was on the scene and said, "He just wanted to get a funny picture."

Erik ended up being the one to get the funny pictures, and posted them on Imgur.   

According to Metro, the student's foot got stuck and, after trying to free himself, ended up calling for assistance. Five firetrucks rushed 22 firemen to the scene. 


If that's all it takes to get 22 firemen to rush over... (via Erik Guzman/Imgur)

Guzman stated that the student ended up being embarrassed. You think you're embarrassed? How do you think the vagina feels now that you've made it go viral?

(by Myka Fox)

Fast learner.

This Doberman Pinscher is no match for a kitten with 90 pounds of attitude.

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Fists of furry.

Fights can be won or lost with attitude. That's certainly the case with this video titled Doberman Getting Owned By Kitten. Sure, at first glance, it would appear that the dog has a cool temperament and is simply exercising restraint with his new tiny housemate. It's also possible the kitten has gotten inside the larger animals's head, leaving him paralyzed with fear.

Most likely, the dog has fallen into a funk over the fact that this little monster is now part of his life, and is busy trying to calculate how much trouble he'll be in if he swallows it.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

This girl's dad didn't get many days off at Google, so she wrote a note demanding they give him one for his birthday.

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When you want to get Google's attention, a handwritten letter is the way to go.

It's well-known that Google expects a lot of hours out of their employees, but try explaining that to a little girl named Katie. Katie's dad was only getting Saturdays off, and clearly Katie didn't understand the joy and pride of working for Google was supposed to be enough for dad and the whole family. So, she went over his head and straight to the Google Worker, who we all know is the Worker in charge, and demanded he get a day off. 

Katie might have a career as a tough negotiator in front of her, however, seeing as she's not afraid to further guilt one of the biggest companies in the world by reminding it that not only is it her dad's birthday, it's summer as well (p.s. how many kids her age know how to use p.s. and p.ps. anymore?). I mean, c'mon Google.


"Dear Katie, request accepted. Also, you've been hired for our viral marketing team."

Google sent this note back to Katie, which has been verified as real by The Blaze. Not only did Google give in to Katie's terms, they gave him off the entire first week of July. It led to a lot of jokes online about how her dad was actually going to have the rest of July and August and also Forever off because she was so nosy, but I think Google is too smart to spoil a PR moment like this. 

So, there you go, people. Get your kids to annoy your boss and post it on the Internet. Now all you need is a kid who writes well and sounds cute. So, get to work and put in a lot of time for her education and you should have a day off after 6-10 years of grueling parenting.

(by Johnny McNulty)

5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - June 23, 2014

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1. World Cup News — U.S. Team Triumphantly Doesn't Quite Lose To Portugal

U.S. soccer fans—plus all the Americans who are very enthusiastically watching the sport for the first time in four years—are not entirely depressed today after their team managed to just barely not lose, with a 2-2 final score, to their Portuguese opponents in yesterday's World Cup game.


2. Do You Know Who Else Hated Paying His Taxes? Hitler!

A new documentary, The Hunt for Hitler's Missing Millions, claims that Adolf Hitler was in fact a secret billionaire and "serial tax evader" who "owed the German taxman a small fortune when he became supreme leader in 1933." I knew there was something I didn't like about that guy!


3. South Dakota GOP Votes To Impeach Barack Obama On The Basis Of Whatever

Tough day for President Barack Obama. It appears as though he has lost the confidence of the South Dakota wing of the Republican Party. Delegates of the state GOP voted 191-176 to impeach Obama for the ostensible reason of violating his oath of office. Offenses include something having to do with Bowe Bergdahl, some other thing about Obamacare, and something blah blah blah EPA. "I've got a thick book on impeachable offenses of the president," the guy who introduced the impeachment resolution explained. So if none of these stick, he's got a ton more.


4. John Oliver Gives Dr. Oz's Medical Advice More Consideration Than Dr. Oz Did

Comedian John Oliver dedicated a 16-minute chunk of his HBO show Last Week Tonight to calling bullshit on TV medical expert Dr. Mehmet Oz and his perplexing decision to burn all of his hard-earned credibility in an effort to sell some junk weight loss "magic beans." And for reasons that are equally perplexing, Oliver opted to drive his point home with some help from George R.R. Martin, Steve Buscemi and a puppy.


5. Robin Thicke Tries To Win Back Wife With Sad Music Video Full Of Naked Women

In an obviously desperate bid to win back his estranged wife Paula Patton, pop singer Robin Thicke has released a melancholy music video for his doleful new single "Get Her Back," featuring plenty of naked body parts from anonymous women. This guy knows how to charm a lady, am I right?


(by Dennis DiClaudio)

Watch Hollywood blockbusters now with 100% more selfies.

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Truth, Justice and Selfies: the American Way. (via YouTube)

Let's imagine a world where everyone in Hollywood was a bunch of selfie-takingnarcissists. Ok, that was too easy.

Russian TV channel TNT imagined a world where those selfies made it into the final cuts of hollywood blockbusters in this brilliantly edited montage, proving that even if you have just heroically saved the day, taking a selfie still makes you look like a dick. 

(by Myka Fox)


Scheduling match.

Straight shooter.

A woman took out $17K in student loans and spent it all on plastic surgery.

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(Via Facebook)

Here's a special message for all those "Boomerang Kids" in yesterday's Times magazine photo-essay about college grads moving back in with their parents to deal with their crippling student loans: Y'all did it wrong! You should have followed English Lit grad Katerina Christodoulou's lead when she spent her $17,000 in student loans on some plastic surgery to get some sweet new thighs, hips, knees and ass cheeks (an ex-boyfriend bought her the boobs). Now thanks to her student-loan funded liposuction she's free to pursue her career as a model while other college grads are arguing with their parents about the appropriate curfew for a 26-year-old.


(Via Facebook)

Christodoulou told the Leicester Mercury that instead of using the government-funded loan for her classes, "I was lucky enough to have a supportive family who helped pay for my books and social life. This allowed me to save my money." It is, after all, every parent's dream to one day pay for their children to attend a prestigious university while the bank pays to send them to get their butts lifted.


(Via Facebook)

"I know some people might be surprised to hear that I spent my student loan on my body," she told the Mercury. "But it was worth it for how I feel now."

Those Boomerang Kids are probably quite surprised. In fact, they might be unable to read this without tearing apart the stuffed animals in their childhood bedrooms in frustration, but we haven't even gotten to the really mind-blowing part yet. This is Britain, after all, and British higher education rules apparently allow students to take twenty-five years to pay back a loan once they start earning more than $28,000 per year. If Christodoulou's modeling career doesn't work out and she is never able to pay off that loan, the taxpayers will. 

Meanwhile, American college grads are trying to work at Arby's to start paying off their tens of thousands in debt the minute they move out of their dorms. Here's another explicit photograph of just how much the British government is willing to back the education of its citizens.


(Via Facebook)

On second thought, college kids, don't spend your loan money on liposuction. Spend it on a ticket to the UK. They'll look after you there.

(by Bob Powers)

Dude shoots his penis off and the bullet exits through his butt, he doesn't even notice.

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If a man shoots his dick off at a gas station, and the bullet leaves through his ass, and he doesn't even notice it, did he even have a dick to begin with?

On June 12th, a 23-year-old Macon Georgia man pulled in to a gas station, holstered his .45 handgun, and shot himself in the dick. I'm pretty sure shooting your dick off at a gas station is frowned upon considering you're not even supposed to be using your cell phone. 

Remarkably, the man didn't realize what he had done until minutes later when he got to his friend's house and found his pants full of blood. And no dick. 

According to the report, he took off his pants, and "saw that he had shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out his buttocks," after which he was driven to the emergency room.

It might be fair to say that if the only reason you noticed you shot off your dick is when a bullet falls from your ass, you did the right thing by taking yourself out of the gene pool.

(by Myka Fox)

A drunk tailgater trying to stand up outside of a concert has been edited into a hilarious WWE wrestling battle.

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Somebody restrain that pavement! It's out of control!(via Deadspin)

I'm not very familiar with country singer Luke Bryan, but his concerts seem like pretty hard-partying events. This footage was taken at his recent visit to Pittsburgh, or to be more specific, right outside the concert in the parking lot, with a guy who could probably be entered into a list like "the worst people you see at every summer music festival." This footage was amusing enough to make a local news story (at bottom) about the level of underage drinking at the event go somewhat viral, but it wasn't until Benstonium, a Pittsburgh-based comedy team with a history of creating sports and pop culture parodies, turned it into an all-out WWE brawl that it attained perfection.

As anyone who has ever gone toe-to-toe with gravity after losing a battle with their ability to drink responsibly will tell you, this fight description is extremely accurate. Gravity is an incredibly dirty fighter. All you're doing is trying to get up and walk, or even just crawl away, but gravity is right there behind you, swinging a metal folding chair.

In conclusion: Luke Bryan is a popular performing artist and his concerts are f-ing crazy.

Also, don't pick a fight with Pittsburgh pavement. The city may have gentrified, but its parking lots are still tough.

(by Johnny McNulty)

This woman's ride on a circus camel took an embarrassingly funny turn.

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The cheekiest show on earth. 

Odds are, everyone's pants will split at some point in their lives. If you're lucky, that embarrassing reminder that you need to lose a few pounds will happen when you're at home bending over to pick up a stray potato chip. If you're really, really unlucky, it'll happen after volunteering to ride a camel at a circus and you've been strapped into a harness attached to a cable, so that when your oversized ass makes its public debut, you'll be swung around the center ring like a human yo-yo doing a trick called Around The World In The Most Embarrassing Way Imaginable.

It makes you wonder how this was supposed go if everything turned out correctly. Although, considering the fact that this is a circus featuring an audience member riding a camel, things probably turned out better than anyone could've hoped for.

(by Jonathan Corbett)

Comedian Nathan Fielder has been sneaking some very NSFW images onto Instagram.

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Are you sure you wanna know what's going on in that CD reflection?

Nathan Fielder is—to borrow a phrase from my Aunt Louise—"a real prankster." The mischievous smartypants (also my aunt's phrase) comedian is promoting the return of his Comedy Central show Nathan For You next month by posting a series of photos of himself to Instagram. You know, that website that refuses to tolerate the existence of nipples. Right, that Instagram.

Anyway, the photo-sharing website seems to have no issues with the pictures of Fielder just, like, chillin' around his house, wearing reflective sunglasses and eating salad with a shiny knife. That might be because they didn't bother to look very closely at the images. Or it might be because they're totally fine with pictures of elderly men's erect penises. There's no way to say for sure.

What follows might be slightly NSFW if your coworkers have extremely good eyesight.

Did you see it?! Did you see it?! It's right there, reflected in his glasses, his CD and that butter knife. What did I tell you? That Nathan Fielder is such an imp!

To see the actual, non-degraded version of the old man penis photo Fielder's been smuggling onto Instagram, click right over here.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)


The most creatively terrifying way to tell someone their parking sucks.

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But if your battery is dead, wait for reinforcements and then wire them all together.

If I returned to my car to find this on my dashboard, I would definitely never park there again and probably never return to the neighborhood or maybe even the state. Either that, or I'd park there again and wait around to meet the crazypants who whittled these spuds into figures that look like a cross between Tiki carvings and an 80s claymation music video. I don't know what the redditor who posted this ominous warning did, but it's clear they lived to tell the tale.

We've seen a whole lot of great angry parking notes, but rarely does the art form stray into multi-media displays like this. We'll be keeping our eyes peeled for any sequels.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Robin Thicke wrote an entire album about his wife leaving. I do a six part interpretive dance suite every time the McRib goes away.

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Jordan_MorrisMon, 23 Jun 2014 16:27:49 EDT

Robin Thicke wrote an entire album about his wife leaving. I do a six part interpretive dance suite every time the McRib goes away.

Dad dances with disabled daughter so she can compete in a pageant.

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If this doesn't warm your heart, it's time to start stealing Christmas presents in Whoville. (via YouTube)

If you haven't had a chance to cry today, go grab a box of tissues. It's time. 

McKenzie Carey is a 12-year-old girl who happens to be wheelchair-bound due to Mitochondrial Disease. Her dad refused to let that keep her from participating in Summer Pageant Fest, so he helped by dancing with her to a song by Miley Cyrus on a glitter-covered stage. 

It's impossible not to respect the dad's commitment to the sincerity of the song, and in a t-shirt and baseball hat he lets all the beauty honors go to his daughter. 

McKenzie's family is raising funds for special treatments that they believe is helping her. You can donate here

Edit: An earlier version of this post reported that the song was from Frozen, we apologize for any confusion. 

(by Myka Fox)

Ignorance is bliss.

5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. A drunk driver who got arrested after running himself over with his car.

30-year-old North Dakota man Robert Alan Pullar managed to run himself over after getting so drunk behind the wheel that he fell out of his car. The vehicle continued moving forward and hit him. I think that's the definition of inertia, right? An object in motion stays in motion, an object intoxicated stays intoxicated. Pullar shook off the incident and put himself back in the driver's seat but police caught up with him and charged him with a DUI, driving with a suspended license, and refusal to submit to a chemical test. I feel like running yourself over with your car should be test enough.

4. A 12-year-old kid who faked his own kidnapping to get out of going to the dentist. 

Dentists are so universally loathed, children are now committing felonies in order to avoid them. Last month, one kid in France decided filing a false report with the police was more desirable than having his gums stabbed with a metal spike when he told cops he had been abducted on his way to a sadist dentist appointment. The police investigated the abduction for an entire month before they questioned the kid once more and got him to admit he made it all up to avoid getting into the dentist's chair. Now he's in trouble with the law, and worst of all, that dentist has had all this time to daydream about all the violent stuff he's going to do to that poor kid's teeth.

3. Khloé Kardashian for being told her really dumb Instagram pic was really dumb.

It's like a reality TV star can't cartoonishly appropriate an oppressed people's culture on Instagram without getting heat for it anymore. Khloé Kardashian was in attendance over the weekend at nephew North West's "Kidchella" first birthday celebration. While sitting near one of the kid-sized teepees, she decided to use her not-much-better-than-a-kid judgment and don a Native American headdress for an Instagram, captioned with some attempt at BS nature-goddess poetry. "Ray of clouds. Chirping of birds. Gurgling of water. Granting desire. One with water. #Kidchella my first Coachella!!!" 


Kylie Jenner smartly refuses not to eff up her center-part 'do like her sis.(Via)

Khloé quickly became one with public derision as the chirping of people who took offense at the disrespectful costume flooded her comments section.


(via Getty)

2. American soccer fans.

They had it in the bag. That win was so close they could smell it. But in the last few seconds of yesterday's USA v. Portugal World Cup match, Portugal went and tied it up. Not only did fans have to end their Sunday night drinking in disappointment, they've had to spend most of their Monday trying to figure out what a tie means and how many different variables have to come into play for the Americans to advance. It's just too much to bear and some might be looking forward to another four years of blissfully ignoring soccer altogether.

1. Whomever gave the okay for this commemorative World Cup merch confusing England player Chris Smalling for President Barack Obama.

If you want to know exactly how much American influence is waning in other lands, take a look at this World Cup mug that was intended to feature a pic of England player Chris Smalling, but instead went into production with a pic of the leader of the free world. The company is now dumping the cups on Wholesale Clearance UK's website with the explanation, "The designs were proofed and signed off by the Boss, who had clearly had a heavy night with the lads playing poker and before he’d had his first vat of coffee the following morning."

Here's the real Chris Smalling. Close enough?


(via Getty)

(by Myka Fox and Bob Powers)

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