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9 celeb moms share their best tips for maintaining a work-life balance with WAY more money than you.

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Maintaining a work-life balance can feel impossible for the millions of women juggling the demands of family and home with the demands of their bosses. Making the kids-and-a-job thing work is hard no matter how many zeroes are tacked on to the end of your salary, but here's 9 rich ladies explaining how they make it work (with way more money than you'll ever have).

1. Jessica Alba

Happy Birthday to my sweet angel Havie baby! Can believe she's already 5!

A photo posted by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on

Jessica Alba makes changing poops more fun with amusingly patterned Honest Company diapers. But the mom to Haven and Honor told Parentsthat it's possible for moms who want to start a business to get "overwhelmed trying to do everything at once." She suggests they "lay out what [they] can get done now and what will take longer.​" Another tip for starting your own business? Be a popular actress first.

2. Debra Messing

My favorite sports date #USOPEN #MensFinal #EPICMATCH🔥

A photo posted by Debra Messing (@therealdebramessing) on

The former star of Will and Graceand mom to Roman, 12, told PopSugar, "Setting boundaries for yourself and knowing your limitations are important. It took me a long time, but now I have a pretty good idea of how many hours I can work on a TV show and still feel like I'm able to be present when I get home." Why can't she just tell us how many hours so we can all set boundaries at our TV jobs?

3. Amy Poehler

Actress Amy Poehler, mother of Archie and Abel, found her work-life bliss in "surfing" her life. She told Huffington Post: "Find your center of balance...Face the waves, try to catch one, ride it and know it will end. But another one will come!​" Try not to drown, ladies!

4. Giuliana Rancic

My buddy and me ❤

A photo posted by Giuliana Rancic (@giulianarancic) on

Fashion policewoman Giuliana Rancic, mommy to four-year-old Duke, tries to keep her work and home life completely separate. She told Fashionmagazine: "What I do now is that when I'm at work, I'm 100% focused on work. I return all my emails. I don't just sit there and surf the Internet like before. And when I'm home, I would focus 100% on Duke and put the phone away." Still, if Duke wears the same overalls twice, he is busted!

5. Bethenny Frankel

The reality star and founder of Skinnygirl told Business Insider she prioritizes her daughter's schedule over work. "I don't miss her drop-offs and pick-ups, and I don't do work instead of being with her, ever," she said. Get an extremely flexible, somewhat optional job and you're all set, gals!

6. Hilary Duff

Feeling grateful❤️ #1

A photo posted by Hilary Duff (@hilaryduff) on

Hilary Duff, actress and mom to four-year-old Luca, toldRedbookit's OK to feel guilty sometimes. "It's hard to say that you really can have it all," Duff said. "I think you can to a certain degree, but fully loaded, pedal-all-the-way-down is tough. You're missing out on something, either on the career or on the family. When I'm really busy with work, I feel extremely guilty." Don't worry, Hil. Luca will forgive you once he's old enough to appreciate Younger.

7. Maggie ​​Gyllenhaal

Maggie Gyllenhaal, mom of Ramona and Gloria Ray, uses her experiences as a mother to inspire her work as an actress, she told Us Weekly. Okay, so that may not be so relevant to your life, but there's also this: she doesn't strive for perfection, saying "It's not possible to do it perfectly."

8. Julia Louis-Dreyfus

I'm so happy this moment was captured. @veephbo #tbt #wow

A photo posted by Julia Louis-Dreyfus (@officialjld) on

Emmy-winning actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus—who has two sons, Henry and Charles—told People she recommends "get[ting] up very early" to get things done before your kids wake up. She doesn't say it, but it might also help to have a second majorly successful phase of your career once your kids are older.

9. Ivanka Trump

Snuggle time is the best time. #Latergram

A photo posted by Ivanka Trump (@ivankatrump) on

Ivanka Trump, mom of three and Executive Vice President at the Trump Organization, told Business Insider the real problem is expecting work and life to ever be in balance. "Life is a marathon, not a sprint," she said. "It's about taking a bigger-picture approach." Aw, I almost forgive her for being a Trump.

Amber Rose's secret to good skin is masturbation.

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In a recent interview, Amber Rose told Glamourthat her secret to bright, glowing skin is masturbation. Finally, a skin care routine you can commit to!

When asked about the secret to her flawless complexion, this is what she said:

Masturbation. I wish I had the time to masturbate every day in reality, but I don’t. I say a lot of those things on [The Amber Rose Show] because I am very sex-positive. I do say those things in a way where I am very serious, but it’s also a joke.

And here I was washing my face every day like a damn fool.

Amber Rose also went on to share a few other beauty secrets, although they were a bit less salacious. She said her go-to look is pink cheeks and her signature red lip, that she uses face powder from her friend Blac Chyna's beauty line, and that she depends on falsies to make her eyes look bigger.

Although Amber Rose's skin care routine is unconventional, it is certainly less expensive than buying a Clarisonic. And let's be honest—it's also more fun.

Seasonal

Ken Bone and his red sweater were adorable on 'Kimmel.'

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The winner of the second presidential debate, American fashion icon Ken Bone, popped up on Jimmy Kimmel Liveto provide a glimpse between the life behind the legend. Bone address his fans—the self-proclaimed Boneheads—on his epic origin story, from the pants-splitting scene behind the red sweater to the reason for his adorably obsolete digital camera.

Beware, though: Every hero has a tinge of darkness. Bone continues to be an undecided voter, claiming that he is "more undecided than ever," and his teetering on who gets the coveted Bone Vote. Make sure to follow his real Twitter @KenBone18 to see where he lands.

It's Ken Bone's world. We're just living in it.

'Baby Trump' doppelgänger gets euphoric response from supporters desperate to cheer something.

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At a Monday night rally in Pennsylvania, Donald Trump added a genuinely delightful human to a declining list of his endorsers: Baby Trump.

The child apparently caught the businessman's attention with his little suit and maybe-too-thick-to-be-accurate wig. The candidate decided to jump at the adorable distraction, bringing him up to the podium.

"Do you want to go back to [your parents] or stay with Donald Trump?"

"Trump," responded the child (who had been parroting the last word in each of Trump's sentences) to rapturous cheers from the audience.

Baby Trump appears to be the same Pennsylvania child featured by NBC New York in September, two-year-old Hunter "Baby Trump" Tirpak. On Monday, his mother told a local news outlet that she "wanted to show some positiveness" in the Trump world. "There's been way too much negativity in the campaign," said Jessica Tirpak.

Baby Trump will replace Paul Ryan as the GOP candidate's most influential backer.

Men pay 7% more at this pharmacy because it's about time.

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According to Gothamist, an independent pharmacy in New York City called Thompson Chemists is charging a 7% "man tax" for male customers in order to, ironically, raise awareness about the price disparity between genders.

These signs are hanging in the window of the SoHo pharmacy.

A study released last year by the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs shows that, on average, products marketed to women in New York cost 7% more than the same products marketed to men. This includes everything from toys to grooming products to adult diapers. Gender pricing discrimination, commonly known as the "pink tax," also describes the tax placed on pads and tampons, which are sometimes considered "luxury items" instead of bare necessities.

But before you start protesting Thompson Chemists, know that men aren't actually being taxed more than women. Jolie Alony, who has owned the pharmacy for the past 22 years, says that men will pay normal price plus tax for their items, while women get a 7% discount off their purchases. With that discount, women end up paying about what they would have if there were no sales tax.

One Redditor wrote a (rather snarky) email to Thompson Chemists about the "man tax" and got this (rather snarky) response in return.

It is unlawful to discriminate based on gender, but The NYC Department of Consumer Affairs has confirmed to Gothamist that what Thompson Chemists is doing is completely legal, even if it does ruffle some feathers.

Republican woman goes viral with her tweets calling out sexism in the GOP.

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Marybeth Glenn, a political writer and conservative who lives in northern Wisconsin, went viral Monday night with her powerful tweets slamming her party's leadership.

In 17 tweets, Glenn shows how a once-loyal defender of the party is devastated by the acceptance of Donald Trump, whom she calls a "sexual predator."

Glenn starts off proving her Republican bonafides:

And how things took a dark turn when Trump seized the nomination.

She went on to say how standing up to sexism isn't only the right thing to do, it's hypocritical not to after the women in the party stood up for disgraced men.

By defending Trump's comments, she says, Republicans are just proving liberal critics right.

While one woman leaving the party one make much of a difference, soon the party could be left to alt-right crazies.

She ended the thread calling on prominent Republicans to denounce Trump before it's too late.

The thread went viral, and Glenn received words of support from both (former) Republican women and celebrities.

J.K. Rowling tweeted it out and called it heroic.

“I hope that people see how many Conservatives are not supporters of this hateful narrative taking over the GOP,” Glenn told BuzzFeed News. “My hope is that others choose to put principles over party.”


Mom outraged at Trump's sexism mails him a one-of-a-kind 'contribution.'

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South Florida mom Emily Robinson was irked when she received a mailer from the Donald Trump campaign, asking her to send an "emergency contribution." Like so many Americans, she had been outraged at the leaked tape of Trump bragging about forcing himself on married women and how they would let him "grab them by the pu**y." She had no interest in donating a few dollars to help this sex offender spare his imploding campaign from the ash heap of history. So instead, she "contributed" something else. And posted about it on Facebook.

Yes I did. #protest

Posted by Emily Robinson on Saturday, October 8, 2016

Her letter reads:

Dear Mr. Trump,
I am not able to mail you my actual pussy so I’ve included the next best thing.
Cheers, Emily

Underneath, she taped a small knot of her own pubic hair.

Robinson's post has gone viral, with over 1,000 likes. She told Scary Mommy that the response has been overwhelmingly positive, but the few haters she's come across don't bother her. She knew what she was doing.

My pubes aren’t gross. They are just trimmed off, clean little hairs. A man who thinks it’s okay to talk about how he grabs pussies (in front of several other people on a bus) is way more gross than few taped down short ‘n curlies.

She also explained why, as a mother of two girls, she feels it's important not to take Trump's intimidation lying down.

The list of badass women I know and their accomplishments is staggering. This one little thing I did – this silly little gesture – is not about this election. It’s about women not taking any more bullshit from sexist men and a sexist culture. I am a human, and a good one – not a pussy to be grabbed.

Hear hear. Kudos to Robinson and her short 'n curlies for their good work.

Watch Trump and Clinton have 'The Time Of My Life' at the second presidential debate.

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We've already seen people turn this past weekend's presidential debate into Broadway musicals in the form of tweets, but that wasn't enough for the internet. The internet saw those tweets and said, "Let's take this to the next level." And so, the internet has gifted us with this video of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump performing a duet of "The Time Of My Life" from the hit '80s movie, Dirty Dancing. The only thing that's missing is a well-choreographed dance routine.

Thank you, internet.

'Harry Potter' actor Devon Murray opens up about struggles with depression and 'suicidal thoughts' for World Mental Health Day.

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Actor Devon Murray, who chilled in the Gryffindor common room as Seamus Finnigan for eight straight Harry Pottermovies, took advantage of World Mental Health Day to open up about his struggle with depression.

Murray's courageous statements risked further typecasting as a classic Gryffindor (it's the brave house—no matter how stupid your Patronus is.)

Seamus Finnigan with his best friend, Dean Thomas.

But they also clearly resonated with fans, some of whom responded by disclosing their own struggles with mental health.

Moved by the response, Murray reflected on the experience of opening up in public the following day.

You can learn more about World Mental Health Day here, which is organized by the UK's Mental Health Foundation.

Khloe Kardashian says Kim is "not doing that well," calls Paris robbery "a wakeup call."

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Today, Khloe Kardashian makes an appearance on the Ellen Degenerous Show to discuss Kim's social media presence since Kim was robbed in Paris last week. Khloe says she is "pulling back."

Of course, the first thing DeGeneres wants to know is how Kim is doing.

"She's not doing that well," Khloe says.

“It’s incredibly traumatic what happened to her, but our family is super close and great and we’ll get through it together. We do appreciate all your guys’ love and support, and it will take time. It’s horrible what happened to her.”

Kim was robbed of $10M worth of jewelry, including her $4.5 million dollar second engagement ring from husband Kanye she had been flashing all over Instagram and Snapchat. Ellen, flanked by plaid leprechaun Kevin Hart, asked Koko if all of Kim's social media is shut down now.

"Well I think its just a wake-up call to make a lot of life adjustments. This is a really serious matter for Kim. I think it's really personal for when that emotional terror... that you could move on from that. It's a wakeup call for all of us... make sure that we're protected as well as possible. It is important to maybe make those adjustments... to pull back a little bit I think is always smart."

But Kim hasn't just "pulled back a little," she hasn't posted anything to social media since the robbery. Anyone would hide away after a traumatic experience like Kim's, but considering her brand is being very open on social media, we can't help but wonder how much this robbery will actually change her.

Study confirms Freud knew even less about the female orgasm than we thought.

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According to a new study, Sigmund Freud​'s theory that clitoral orgasms inferior to vaginal orgasms have officially been disproved. Finally after 111 years of believing what some crusty dead guy had to say about clits, they have been vindicated. After all the talk of pussy-grabbing in the last week, it is good to have some happy vag-related news.

In his 1905 study "Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality," Freud called clitoral orgasms "infantile and immature," and even suggested that women who get off from clitoral stimulation are mentally ill. Of course, what Freud is getting at is that a woman needs to be penetrated (a.k.a. needs a penis, a.k.a. needs a man) in order to feel "real" sexual pleasure. Although any lady who has ever masturbated knows that this is completely false, the study was regarded as a standard.

The new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicinewas led by neuroscientist Nicole Prause. It examined 88 women between the ages of 18-53. In the study, women were surveyed about their usual and recent sexual experiences as well as their history of mental illness. Then participants were then asked to view ‘neutral’ and adult films and then rate their sexual arousal. Afterwards, they were asked how they reached orgasm. Sixty-four percent reported reported they used both clitoral and vaginal stimulation in order to climax. More interestingly, women who used clitoral stimulation said they do it because it gives them more control over their orgasm.

Yep, nothing to do with mental health at all. Looks like Freud was just another bitter dude who couldn't find the clit.

Kylie Jenner tweet has conspiracy theorists wondering if she's secretly funny.

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The latest Kardashian conspiracy theory is truly shocking: Kylie Jenner might be, actually, pretty funny. Allegedly. When a troll told her she "looks like a 14 year old prostitute," Jenner replied:

Vague "sources" are now peddling the theory that Kylie's hilarious, and using this tweet as concrete proof. Reportedly, Jenner in fact has the capability to make jokes. Even further, she can apparently make mass audiences laugh with her, not at her.

It's a development that has fans and haters alike completely reeling.

A video posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

Jenner has previously discussed her strategy for dealing with horrible trolls. In a discussion with Jonathan Cheban in August, she mused about when to release a deadly "clap back" and when to let it go.

I personally take the high road most of the time. Like I just don't care. So I always think, will I be affected by this tomorrow? Will I be affected by it in a week? Will I be affected in a month? And in a year? And usually the answer is no.

Keep it up, Kylie. The world needs a funny Kardashian. And more humiliated trolls.

Article 28


Here's a creepy AF Halloween tutorial to make it look like you don't have nails.

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The hot nail look for Halloween: making it look like you don't have nails.

Nail artist PiggyLuv put together a gory tutorial to fool your friends into thinking you've had a bloody injury ten times over.

Gyaaaa what have I DONE??? What will I paint on, now that my nails are gone?

A photo posted by PiggieLuv (@narmai) on

For added gruesomeness, put some fake nails on top of the real nails that look like you have no nails.

"All I had to do was put some wax on the tip of my finger & mould it into shape, give it some color with the color wheel that was included," writes the awesomely named artist, PiggyLuv, "and I used a fake nail to make the shape of the nails/cuticles."

Here's the tutorial on how to make it happen, with an appropriately creepy soundtrack.

It'll make an original impression at the Halloween party, and not only because it isn't Harley Quinn or Eleven.

10 truly frightening pranks as told by their terrified victims.

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There's something so fun about being scared—it gives you a hit of adrenaline few other things do. That's one of the reasons some people love horror movies and Halloween so much. Not all people feel this way, of course, but the only way to know for sure is to pull a scary prank on them and see how they react—if they end up laughing or almost die from fright. Just make sure to only prank people you don't really care about staying friends with, though. Here are 10 of the scariest pranks people either pulled or had pulled on them, taken from the pages of Reddit. Also, it turns out some parents just cannot help themselves around gullible children.

1. And yet wishyfishy's still said yes.

A friend of mine had a prank played on her. This was back in high school. A friend of hers asked to meet her out in the parking lot after school. When she gets there, he's no where to be found and the parking lot is pretty deserted since it's a Friday and after everyone has left and all. She waits a while, and then she suddenly gets a bag thrown over her head and carried off into the back of a van. Thinking she was kidnapped, of course she's scared shitless and starts screaming and crying. Eventually, still with the bag over her head, she's brought out of the car into the middle of a field somewhere. At this point she thinks she's about to be killed or something, so she's crying hysterically. Then someone takes the bag off her head, and she sees a guy friend of hers that she's known a while. He then tells her it's a joke and asks her out to prom. She said yes.

tl;dr My friend thought she was being kidnapped and was crying hysterically; turns out some guy just thought it was a "funny" way to ask her out to prom.

2. ​Derpina101's mom has a sick sense of humor, God love her.

I was 4 years old, playing legos in my basement with my older brother and sister. My mom was in the laundry room right next to us doing laundry. All of a sudden the washing machine begins to tumble around (because the old ones do that when too many clothes are pushed to one side). My mom RUNS out of the laundry room and screams, "IT'S GONNA BLOOOOOOOOW!!!" and runs up the stairs. I panic. My brother and sister, being older and larger than me push me out of the way and run up in front of me, closing the basement door behind them and locking me inside. I sat there for two of the longest minutes of my young life believing I was going to get blown to pieces while they all laughed at me behind the door.

TL;DR: Fucking parents....

3. Large_Pimpin might want to look into getting some new friends.

We were on the way home from Yorkshire to Liverpool, it's about a 1 and a half hour drive so I started nodding off, I was in the passenger seat, the time was 1 AM.

Suddenly all my friends start screaming at the top of their lungs, waking me obviously. Now this alone fucking terrified me but it was accompanied by the car skidding wildly from side to side.

The driver straightened out the car and they all started pissing themselves laughing at me, I was the absolute embodiment of petrified, I was frozen on the spot, unable to talk - I was a wreck.

They then went on to explain how they had been planning it for about 20 minutes and were just waiting for the perfect stretch of road to drop a few handbrake turns.

Fucking twats.

4. Mostlycareful might want to look into getting some new parents.

This was cruel. When I was about 10 years old, my family was on our way somewhere and we swung by the video store for me to run in and return a movie. I got out of the car, ran in and dropped off the movie, and when I came outside to get back into the car, my parents had driven off to another end of the parking lot, hiding their van behind another van, laughing at me.

Sounds funny, yes, but as a young child it was traumatic. Add to that the jeers and laughter I encountered from my family (parents and two brothers) when I got back into the car. It was not funny to me.

5. If you really think about it, Mental_d's uncle did him a favor. Sort of.

My family was on vacation at the beach and we decided to take a stroll during the sunset. We walked down the beach enjoying the view and when the sun when down we turned around. Now I should preface what happens next by saying I was around 6 years old. So I'm doing kid stuff like running down the beach and such. My parents kept saying "don't run too far or someone might snatch you up and run off with you". Did I listen? No. So I'm off a ways, prob a 1/4 mile fooling around when out of nowhere this guy runs up and grabs me and takes off running. The only light is the moonlight and I'm being carried off by someone. I'm freaking out to say the least, screaming bloody murder and kicking and swinging. The next thing I know is I'm standing there crying with my uncle just laughing and my parents saying "you should have listened to us". My uncle happened to show up by my parents and they thought it would be funny if he ran up and took me. Now I'm emotionally scarred but I don't think I'll ever not watch my back again. The idea of being taken at 6 years old is terrifying.

6. Robotwholearned88's boyfriend way an interesting way to spice up their relationship.

My boyfriend usually tries to scare me pretty often, but for about 2-3 months he quieted down (should have known something was up). I was getting ready for bed and came out of the bathroom, and I didn't see him right away. Usually, I would have gone looking for him and been scared when he grabbed my ankle next to the bed or etc. But I thought I would out smart him this time because I just went to bed, assuming he would have to admit defeat eventually. Ffwd 30-40 mins, still no boyfriend, but plenty of scary noises in the house to keep me wide awake. Worried that something might have actually happened to him, and I had let him bleed out for half an hour, I start calling his name, looking all around the house for him. I search all of our main rooms first, until there is only the back room left. I flick on the light to the studio. He growls wildly, and comes at me. He was buck naked except for a creepy old man mask that he had been holding onto for just such an occasion. I collapse in pure fright, I have never screamed so completely in my whole life.

7. The scariest part of this prank is basically just the church that rslashuser's neighbors attended.

When I was about 10, two guys from my neighbors church broke into my house dressed as clowns and tried to kidnap me.

I guess it was some fucking party their church was having where they pretended to kidnap the kids, but then the parents were there to tell them it's okay blah blah, then they go to some sleep over at the church.

Problem was these 'clowns' got the wrong damn house (we never locked our doors growing up). So I'm lying in bed and I hear someone whispering outside my door, then the door cracks open and I see two guys with fucking clown masks peering in on me.

Clown: "Austin?" (the kid that lived next door).

Me (while pissing myself): "He lives next door"

Clown: "Oh, sorry we have the wrong house, go back to sleep kid"

I fucking hate clowns.

8. Dont_be_a_c_word got too used to living with a dummy.

I used to live in a house with 3 other dudes. It was a big scary old punk rock house.

We would make a dummy out of old clothes stuffed with older clothes or stuff and we had this really scary (human face) mask that we would put on it and a wig of long black hair. This became known as “the dummy.”

Any time you opened your closet door, or drove up the driveway, or did just about anything, “the dummy” might come flopping out to startle you just a little. Then it was your turn to put the dummy somewhere and get someone else with it.

One day, I was hanging out with some friends and I went upstairs to one of my roommate’s rooms to look for some music. I noticed in the corner of my eye, that someone had set the dummy up in my roommates bed with a big butcher knife in its hand. I giggled a little and paid no attention.

I continued to look for the tape I was after, and when I found it, I turned to walk out of the room

All of a sudden, the dummy sat straight up and raised the butcher knife at me.

It scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I can still feel the place in my ribcage where my heart almost blew right out of my chest!

TL; DR – We used to scare each other in a house I used to live using a life-size dummy. One of the other guys decided to DRESS UP AS THE DUMMY and scared the shit out of me.

9. Sounds like kittenanderson dodged a (metaphorical) bullet by ending this relationship.

Freshman year of college, I was in my dorm room alone one night and some random guy starts talking to me over aim. I was really confused because I had no idea who this was or how he got my screen name (I try to keep it private). After asking general questions like "hey is this kittenanderson? You go to this college?", he starts hitting on me, hard, asking me to go on a date with him at that very second, wanting to know if we can hook up later in the week, etc. I tell him no, I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested, plus I have no idea who he is. After that is when it got creepy, he starts pulling out random facts about me (where I grew up, which high school I graduated from, the name of my stuffed bunny I had since I was 4), threatening me saying he was going to come over and break into my dorm room. Seconds after he said he was going to break in, the knob of my dorm room door had been turned (it wasn't locked) and my door opened just a crack so I jumped up and ran over to close it and lock it. About 3 minutes later someone came and shook my door handle while violently banging on my door. I was legitimately scared for my life and about to call the police when the banging stopped, so I checked the peephole.....and saw my asshole boyfriend standing there with the biggest smile on his face. I opened the door, told him to fuck off or I would call campus security, and we broke up the next day... jerk.

10. This user deleted his/her account, but it was too good not to include.

I lived in an old house growing up, it was about 200 years old and I had always thought it was haunted. Our basement was dark, there was only 1 dim light near the front of it, and it had several 'rooms', which were just partitioned off by thick walls of concrete that had giant pieces missing, like windows could've been there. It had a low ceiling, and even when I was young I had to duck slightly to avoid bumping my head, between the open rafters of the ceiling there were tons of spider webs with large spiders. The door was an old wooden one, with a skeleton key lock. My dad used to tell me there were things down there called Cellar Dwellers, he built this fear up in me over the course of my entire childhood. One day he came up from the basement, turned around and said he forgot something down there, and asked me to get it. I was scared, but I didn't want to seem like the pussy I was, so I bravely said OK! Went down 3 steps, the door slammed behind me, the light in the basement went out, leaving me in total darkness and silence. I paused for a minute and listened, for a moment I heard only my breathing... then a raspy breath, then a foot step. Then I heard low groaning sounds, which gradually got louder. I panicked, jumped up the steps and tried as hard as I could to get out of the basement, but the door was locked. The sounds got closer and louder, I screamed and kicked at the door as hard as I could, and suddenly the door burst open and my dad was standing there looking horrified and angry, and yelled something about getting 'those bastards'. He then ran down in to the basement, it got very quiet, then he screamed. I thought he was dead. He came up a minute later laughing hysterically holding a tape recorded, which he played for me, which were the sounds I heard in the basement.

TL;DR, my dad convinced me there were monsters in the basement and performed a master troll.

Article 25

Guys are paying women $100/month to be their 'Snapchat girlfriends.'

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The Independent has posted an eye-opening profile of a 28-year-old software worker named Ben who pays his favorite Snapchatter $100/month to be his "virtual girlfriend." The arrangement, while certainly weird, is not as sexual as you're probably imagining—far from it. All this unnamed woman does is send him Snaps, texts, and emails that are exactly like the ones any real girlfriend would send.

In the morning I could get a Snapchat selfie with 'good morning baby' written on it, later in the day she might message me on Kik (a messaging app) about how her day at work has been. It's not crazy stuff … If she's come down with strep (a throat condition) I'll know about it, if she's got a headache she tells me, and if she's out partying I get Snapchats that no-one else sees.

But those Snapchats aren't nude. For Ben, and an ever-increasing number of men taking advantage of "virtual girlfriend" services, the appeal is not about sex. After all, there's plenty of free porn on the internet. Instead, it's about creating the feeling of intimacy without the time commitment of a real relationship. Ben says he's "too busy" for the real thing (classic line), but texting back and forth with this model makes "things feel normal."

And he does text back, letting her know about his day and making general small talk. She'll even respond for short conversations—that was a pre-negotiated part of the deal. He claims to genuinely care for her, and for $100/month, he'd better. But he doesn't pretend to anyone in his daily life that he has a real girlfriend, and he doesn't show anyone the messages she sends him. And he has no illusion that he's the only man in her life. After all, she has more than 20,000 Twitter followers.

The Independent reports that services like these got their start in 2014 with firms like Invisible Girlfriend and Dream Lover, but those have largely given way to direct deals between social media starlets and their fans—a 21st century cottage industry. And is it really so strange? People incorporate vivid fantasies about catching Pokémon into their digital lives, so how is a commitment-free imaginary relationship any different? And $100/month may sound steep, but let's be real—it's way less than a real relationship costs.

Woman's comically bad boyfriend decides to gift her a clothes iron for her birthday.

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An anonymous woman took to the internet to get some perspective on the blind rage she felt after her boyfriend gifted her an unwrapped "clothes iron" for her birthday. Here's the beginning of her very justifiable complaint:

So my and my boyfriend recently rekindled our romance and got back together after a few months "break". We are supposed to be trying our best to make things work and make each other happy.....

Just pause and reflect a second on the fragile emotions that go into "a few months 'break.'"

Now think of a gift that conveys your relief and gratitude to be back in a committed relationship with the person you love.

Are you thinking of an iron?

Here's exactly what happened, and keep in mind this lady doesn't even bring up the sexist implications of getting your girlfriend a freaking iron for her birthday.

So the other day it was my birthday and he very gleefully presented me with my birthday gift, which turned out to be a clothes iron. It was cheap, he had bought it from a shop near his home, in my opinion he made no effort whatsoever, he didn't even wrap it!! I told him straight away that i wasn't happy, i don't want my boyfriend to buy me an iron for my birthday! He said I'm so ungrateful; he heard me say i needed an iron so he went and got me one sowhy am i complaining.

I don't know, I'm just really disappointed, an iron for a birthday gift just seems so shit to me, he thinks I'm spoilt and should just be happy for what i get. Seriously this kind of thing makes me think maybe we are not right for each other, i really do feel totally disillusioned about our relationship now.

Please can you give your opinions about this? Thank you!

TL;DR BF gave me an i iron for my bday, i think its a shit present, he thinks I'm an ungrateful bitch.

Yes, anonymous lady, you are justified in your anger at receiving an unwrapped iron for your birthday.

Couldn't he have put a little bow on it at least?

Commenters largely agreed that this woman's sordid account of the birthday present gone wrong was not unique to her boyfriend alone.

One redditor shared her own incident, articulating a fascinating difference between men and women.

Yeah, I had a similar talk with my now-husband after he bought me a vacuum for my birthday. I told him unless I specifically ask for something related to household chores, please do not get me anything in that category. I explained to him that an ideal gift should be an indulgence, something that person would normally not buy on their own.

I think perhaps it is a difference between us two, because he LOVES it when I buy him tools, which he uses for work. I don't think it is uncommon for women to feel like they are put into a maid / mom role in relationships, and gifts like an iron perpetuate that expectation.

Another commenter, MidnightMalaga, shared a story of one husband who used the bad-gift trope as his own glorious punch line.

My stepdad got my Mum a vacuum for Christmas one year. Wrapped it up, handed it over, went, "I know you've been wanting to replace the old one."

The joke lasted about thirty seconds before he pulled out her real present - her favourite brand of perfume and a new book by an author she loves. Because while we did need a new vacuum, that's not a gift. You're an adult, perfectly capable of purchasing your own iron. A gift should reflect the relationship between giver and giftee and show that the person giving the gift cares about what you want. What do you think this gift says about what your boyfriend thinks of you?

    Hopefully, with time and many nice gifts, the unhappy couple from our first story manages to become the happy couple from the last one. After, of course, they IRON THINGS OUT. (Sorry.)

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