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Article 21


Kim Kardashian is reportedly building a $100,000 panic room in her home.

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The Daily Mailis reporting that in the wake of her terrifying Paris robbery, Kim Kardashian West is having a "state-of-the-art" panic room built in her $20 million Bel-Air home.

This guy is always in my shot!

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

The room, which will supposedly cost $100,000, will allegedly consist of a large room with a bathroom, as well as video cameras. A source told the Daily Mail that the room will be "made to withstand a fire of over 1,000 degrees and a 7.0 earthquake," which, considering the current state of L.A., is a smart move.

Clearly the West family is seriously not kidding around at this point. But who can blame them? Kim really did endure a traumatic ordeal, and she's worried about her own safety as well as the safety of her two young kids, North, 3, and Saint, 10 months.

Major side eye 👀

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

The source also told the Daily Mail that West's therapist is available 24 hours a day, because apparently she is not even close to being over the fear she experienced in that hotel room. The insider said,

Kim can reach out any time, day or night. It's been very comforting for her. . . She's not well. It's worse than anyone knows. She's been suffering severe panic attacks and refuses to be alone. She's been having flashbacks and nightmares. She's a nervous wreck. She gets especially anxious late at night.

Hopefully West is feeling calmer soon, and she never has to use the room for anything other than Panic Room re-enactments.

13 foreigners who have visited the US share their biggest WTF moment.

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Of course America is the greatest country in the world, and no one thinks otherwise (cough, cough), but it's hard to get perspective when you're on the inside. Fortunately some foreigners who have visited can tell us what seems shocking or strange when viewed as an outsider. Here are 13 stories shared on reddit of visitors' biggest WTF moments.

1. esker9 found there is no "win" in USA.

Near the end of a vacation to the US I was feeling a bit guilty from eating so unhealthy. I ordered a salad at a restaurant and it came with complimentary ice cream. You cannot win against America.

2. bertonomus from south africa got a rise out of our gas guzzlers.

My boss visited the U.S. recently on a business trip. He kept sending me photos & videos of how huge your trucks are and how many Ford Mustangs he kept seeing. He was giddy like a little kid in all his videos.

3. Checkheck had his WTf moment before he even got on the plane.

Im going to fly to the U.S. in a couple of weeks for the first time. Already had a WTF moment. I had to fill out some personal stuff to get into the country. Questions like:

"Are you planning a genocide in the USA. Yes or No"

"Are you planning a terroristic attack in the USA. Yes or No"

I mean... If someone really is planning something like that and succeed. What then?

"He lied to us!!! How could he. He said he won't do a genocide and now look at that"

4. Fatherchristmassdad met Americans who think accents are a different language.

"Keep up the good work on that English!"

I'm from Scotland...

5. JanetSnarkhole reveals we are famous for our gap.

THE BATHROOM STALL GAP IS REAL!

6. ​FuckCazadors came to hunt big game.

On my first day in the USA I saw someone who was at least as fat as anyone I had ever seen before in my life. On each subsequent day while I was in the USA I saw someone at least as fat again.

My family made it a game to spot the fattest person each day.

7. RealPoutineHasCurds is a Canadian who got firsthand sighting of the midwest billboard wars.

One summer some friends and I roadtripped from Pennsylvania to Utah and back (10,000 km in 2 weeks. Good times). We're from Canada so we're pretty used to Americanisms, however we found the stark contrast in billboards in the Bible belt to be amusing. Every couple clicks it alternated between "Jesus saves, confess your sins" and "XXX girls girls girls, next exit".

Seeing scripture on the back of transport trucks was pretty bizarre too. And the aggressive preachers on the radio. And the giant fifty foot crosses (plural). I mean, it's called the Bible belt for a reason, but I didn't really appreciate the scope until I was there.

8. MrPotatoPenguin from Finland found out why sports here is as big as our people.

Going to an NHL game seemed like I was at an eating event.

Also 9 chicken McNuggets costing about $4.10 and 20 costing $4.50. (Not sure about the exact costs but you get the idea)

9. ​ALWAYS_TELLING_LIES went to a Taco Bell, left with a WTF supreme.

Two fat women trying to get in to the same bathrooms stall, which devolved in to a fist fight.

10. ​eraser_dust has a story that's one for the ages.

So, being Indonesian (world's largest Muslim country) and male, my dad always gets taken into a special room for interrogation every time we arrive in the US. When I happened to be with him, I got tired of waiting on my own, so I went to one of the officers guarding the area and asked how long it would take for my dad to get out.

He went, "Oh my god, honey, you're all alone?"

And suddenly everyone was rushing to get my dad out as soon as possible, kept asking me if there was anything I needed, and kept telling me not to be scared. Obviously that made me actually nervous. What the fuck is happening?

Then I found out Americans just suck at telling Asian ages and apparently I looked 8-12. They thought they made my dad leave a child all alone in a foreign country. I was 16...

11. ​_Blood_Fart_ went straight to the front lines of the American forces.

at least 30 HUGE women marching into a Wal-Mart, in a single file line. Almost all of them with holstered handguns on their belt's.

All of them went straight to the McDonald's, never breaking formation. Never saying a word except to the cashier.

It was majestic, like a squadron of fully armed Zeppelin floating by during WW2.

12. tradingten took his cues about all of America based on some lawns in Florida.

I was in Florida and the amount of car wrecks in front yards was baffling.

13. And finally, off-and-on who has one nice surprise in the U.S.

This one isn't really negative, but still amazes me. I'm from Sweden, and visited New York a few summers ago with my family. We had just gotten off the bus, and my step sister was feeling really nauseus from the bus ride. She walks up to a garbage can and takes a few deep breaths, trying to not vomit. Suddenly a guy in a suit with a briefcase walks up, asks if she's alright, tells her to wait there, and comes back a few seconds later with a bottle of water for her. Just a complete stranger. That's not something you'd see in Sweden.

Get a load of this jackass stinging himself with the second-most painful bug on Earth.

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Animal expert/brave moron Coyote Peterson specializes in subjecting himself to the worst horrors of the natural world and uploading the video to YouTube for everyone to enjoy. He outdid himself with his latest video, in which he forced a tarantula hawk, a North American wasp classified as having the second-most painful sting in the world, to go to town on his arm. His reaction was immediate and horrible. You won't be able to look away.

Big thanks to this guy for sacrificing his sanity for our entertainment. Also, "Coyote Peterson doesn't cry" is my new ringtone.

Former Arkansas reporter accuses Bill Clinton of repeatedly sexually assaulting her in 1980.

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A former Arkansas local TV reporter, Leslie Millwee, has told Breitbart News—the alt-right media organization run by Trump campaign CEO Steve Bannon—that Bill Clinton sexually assaulted her three times in 1980. Clinton was the governor of Arkansas in 1980, and Millwee said she interviewed him "about 20 times" for KLMN-TV under her professional name, Leslie Derrick, before she claims she quit because of his behavior.

Coming a day after People magazine brought forward six corroborating witnesses for their reporter's assault story about Trump, this issue is now front and center in politics in a way not even advocates for victims could have imagined (or possibly wanted). Beginning with Trump's Access Hollywood tape, Trump then brought four Bill Clinton accusers to the second debate, at which he denied ever acting the way he described, prompting a dozen women to accuse him of doing just that, and now this. There's no word yet on whether Breitbart will pay for Millwee to attend the debate as they did before.

All three alleged assaults, according to Millwee, occurred at the TV station after she had finished interviewing then-Governor Clinton in 1980. Millwee says Clinton followed her each time into the station's "tiny" editing room.

...he followed me into an editing room. The first time I remember. That it was very small. There was a chair. I was sitting in a chair. He came up behind me and started rubbing my shoulders and running his hands down toward my breasts. And I was just stunned. I froze. I asked him to stop. He laughed.

That happened on three occasions. And each time it escalated where the aggressive nature of his touch and what he was doing behind me escalated.

Indeed, the descriptions of the subsequent events are more graphic, with Millwee alleging that the then-Governor achieved orgasm through his clothes behind her while she was frozen and looking straight ahead.

Millwee did tell some friends about the incident in the 1990s when the Monica Lewinski affair broke, but did not want to come forward because she worked for a pharmaceutical company with a "conservative" culture. Several people did corroborate this to Breitbart. As readers in their 30s and older will recall, most of the stigma around the affair actually ended up on Lewinsky (and her predecessors in Bill's life).

President Clinton in 1993.

Obviously, Bill Clinton is a man known for inappropriate sexual behavior. Even if you are a fan of the Clintons, the fact that the media outlet exclusively reporting this story is directly affiliated with the Trump campaign is no shield. After all, Trump's favorite paper, The National Enquirer, got John Edwards right. Whether or not Millwee appears at the final debate, the timing of the story leaves no doubt that this is another attempt to rattle Hillary before game time.

The decision to bring Bill Clinton's accusers to the previous debate was, according to insiders, Breitbart/Trump CEO Steve Bannon's call. Most observers say it was also his idea to bring Barack Obama's Kenyan-born half-brother (Obama's father moved back to Kenya after leaving Barack with his American mother in Kansas... although obviously they're doing this to please birthers). The Trump strategy for the final 20 days, then, is to depress Hillary Clinton's base into staying home, in the hopes that Trump's smaller but more loyal base of white working class men will prevail.

Ivanka Trump is distancing herself from her dad in hopes of surviving the dumpster fire.

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Ivanka Trump, Donald's most favorite daughter, appears to be evacuating the sinking ship that is the Trump campaign, trying to make sure she survives the disaster.

In an interview at Fortune's Most Powerful Woman Summit (which sounds like proof of the Illuminati), Trump insisted that she is "not a surrogate" and does not play a role in the campaign beyond advocating for child care, so please still buy her shoes.

She straight-up denies being a campaign surrogate, and even rejects the word.

“I hate that word, what does that mean?” She continued, “No, I am a daughter. I don't express my views on policy with one exception: as it relates to child care and advocating for women."

She's boarding the lifeboat. You know, women and children first.

Trump hammered home the idea that she's simply a daughter, and while she said “I am very, very proud of what he's accomplished, and he's been a great dad to me” (eek), she continued, “I am not the campaign mastermind that people love to portray.”

Trump must be sick and tired of defending her dad's sexist comments as we are of hearing them. She threw shade when she was asked about the Access Hollywood tape right out of the gate.

"Way to warm up," she said, in a tone that quite simply scared the sh*t out of me.

Despite her insisting that she is her own person with her own life and views, Trump wasn't afraid of hitting one of her dad's most dangerous talking points: that the democracy is rigged.

Time will tell if Ivanka Trump's shoes, jewelry and women's empowerment brand can survive this sexist volcano of a campaign. But in the meantime, only 19 days to go until this dumpster fire is finally extinguished.

Article 15

Makeup artist uses identical twins to prove expensive cosmetics are a waste of money.

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A segment on Tuesday's episode of the Today show sought to dispel the myth that expensive designer makeup really makes a person more attractive than the drugstore stuff. Investigative reporter Jeff Rossen had a makeup artist give the same look to identical twins Melten and Sinem, one with $250 worth of name brand cosmetics, and the other with $60 worth of Covergirl. Then they hit the streets of Manhattan to see if regular New Yorkers could tell the difference. The results were quite surprising.

Who saw that coming? It would be one thing if the results came in at a 50/50 split, but a whopping 78% of respondents actually thought the drugstore makeup was the fancy stuff. Is cheap makeup actually better?

Maybe the "no-makeup selfie" trend should be replaced by a "cheap-makeup selfie" movement.


7 things you missed today while you were at your boring adult job: Brangelina, debate, Amy Schumer.

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Article 12

'Queen of Snapchat' Katie May was killed by a routine chiropractic procedure.

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Playboy model and self-proclaimed "Queen of Snapchat" Katie May died last February after suffering a severe stroke. Today, a leaked coroner's report reveals the stroke was caused by a routine neck alignment.

Happy Monday 💕

A photo posted by Ms_KatieMay (@ms_katiemay) on

Trusty dirt diggers TMZ obtained May’s death certificate and coroner's report which states that she suffered a blunt force injury during a “neck manipulation by [a] chiropractor.” That injury tore an artery in her neck and cut off blood flow to her brain, which led to the stroke that killed her.

OMFG. It could have been any of us.

According to her Twitter feed, May initially went to the chiropractor to deal with a pinched nerve.

She suffered the stroke a few days later on a Monday, and was taken off life support that Thursday.

Good moaning ✨ 📷 @dreamstatelive

A photo posted by Ms_KatieMay (@ms_katiemay) on

The coroner's report has the death listed as accidental. Some accident.

The model left behind a daughter, Mia, who is 7-years old, and so far there is no word as to whether the family will be seeking legal action.

I'm literally not a doctor, but this is terrifying, right?

The 26 funniest people on social media, 10/19/16: the final debate, Obama's half-brother, Trump v Ailes & more!

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Today's topics: fears and predictions for tonight's final debate, reactions to Donald Trump bringing Obama's estranged half brother, Trump and his pal Roger Ailes breaking up, and more election drama! Here are the 26 funniest tweets of October 19th, 2016:

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Eminem disses 'loose cannon' Donald Trump in epic rap track.

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If you're still undecided about who to vote for this November, let Eminem guide you towards the light (a sentence I never thought I'd write). The often-controversial rapper, who is currently working on a new album, just announced on Facebook that he has dropped a rap song called "Campaign Speech." In keeping with the theme of this election season, it's offensive, entertaining, and way too long. And Trump comes off as the villain.

The rap covers a whole range of subject matter—from Colin Kaepernick to Chuck Norris to Target. Then around the half-way mark, Em lets us know his thoughts on the Republican presidential candidate. “Consider me a dangerous man but you should be afraid of this dang candidate,” he raps. “You say Trump don’t kiss ass like a puppet cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the funded/ And that’s what you wanted?/ A fuckin' loose cannon who’s blunt with his hand on the button who doesn’t have to answer to no one/ Great idea.”

Here's the song if you have 8 minutes to kill:

His point seems to be that Donald Trump is far more of a threat to most of us than Eminem himself who, despite calling women "bitches" and once rapping about murdering his ex-wife, has never actually threatened on a live mic to grab women by their private parts.

Welcome to 2016, where Eminem is the voice of reason.

Article 8

This heroic woman who chased down a subway attacker is an inspiration to us all.

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There is something very satisfying about this video of a woman chasing after an attacker who punched the guy sitting next to her on the London Underground (aka the "tube"). What we know from the video, which was posted yesterday on Twitter, is that a man was punched in the face, seemingly without provocation, while sitting on the subway. The man is Asian so the Independent speculates the attack may have been racially motivated.

Unluckily for the attacker, this female passenger wouldn't take the attack sitting down. When the attacker runs off the train, she quickly stands up and follows him. She then chases him down the platform yelling "call the copper." You can watch her in action here (just FYI this video contains some violence):

It seems like she might have caught up with him eventually and alerted "the copper," because a suspect was arrested shortly after the incident, according to a British Transport Police spokesman. "A 33-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of assault occasioning ABH and using threatening, abusive words, behavior or disorderly behavior likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress," said the spokesman of the attacker, who is out on bail.

There is a lesson to be learned here: don't punch people. Especially if there is a lady present. She might punch back.


BuzzFeed CEO throws pundits into chaos, claims Ivanka Trump almost as crude about genitals as Donald.

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Buckle your seatbelts: hours after Ivanka Trump distanced herself from her father's entire campaign and called his "lewd comments" "jarring," BuzzFeed CEO Jonah Peretti threw his one-time social acquaintance under the bus. A big, speeding bus. Like, the biggest bus you can imagine:

In case that tweet gets deleted, Jonah said that Ivanka once "casually" told him, "I've never seen a mulatto cock, but I'd like to!"

What. The. Hell. Is. This. Election??? Hopefully, I don't even need to explain to you why this set Twitter on fire hours in advance of the debate.

Since then, Peretti has doubled down while Ivanka denies everything. Ivanka released a statement calling this a "complete and total lie." Despite speculation that he'd been hacked, Peretti confirmed to BuzzFeed that this conversation happened (according to him) in a New York bar called Tropical 128 around 8-10 years ago. As Peretti told his reporters,

"...[there were] roughly five other people present, including his wife, Andrea Harner. Peretti said Ivanka and he share a mutual friend who invited her to the bar that evening.

“She was saying how she first said she had never seen an uncircumcised cock and then she said, ‘I’ve never seen a mulatto cock. There’s lots of cocks I’ve never seen,’ or something like that,” Peretti said.

“Of course, it was memorable just because of the use of the lewd language and racist language. It was also memorable being in the environment of being… in New York, sometimes liberal and progressive people make comments meant as jokes and not necessarily earnest. I didn’t know how to take it.”

Read more of the backstory over at BuzzFeed.

First this campaign destroys Ivanka's friendship with Chelsea Clinton, now her other New York elite relationships are suffering. Hopefully, she wasn't also friends with Jonah's sister, comedian and actor Chelsea Peretti. Poor, poor, really rich Ivanka.

18 of the best tweets from the freakout over BuzzFeed's CEO claiming Ivanka Trump said "m****** c***s."

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Earlier today, Buzzfeed CEO Jonah Peretti tweeted he was surprised Ivanka Trump would object to her father's lewd language, since she once told him she'd like to see a "mulatto cock." The Internet spit out their coffee and tweeted up a storm. These are the 17 best reactions we saw:

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28 photos of real-world design mistakes that will drive you absolutely crazy.

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We live in a man-made world, but humans make mistakes. Big mistakes. Glaring mistakes. Good design, the saying goes, is invisible. These errors in rooms, signs, products and more, however, are so eye-twitchingly obvious, it's a mystery how these 28 abominations made it into the real world:

1. At this bank, you're expected to drop to your knees and beg for your money.

"Please, sir, may I have some more complimentary checks?"

2. For when you need your kid to develop a crippling fear of shooting anything but perfect swishes.

"I dare you."

3. "Welcome to Hell, here's the restroom."

"Abandon all white underwear, ye who enter here."

4. Maybe this is designed to save water by making the sink unusable.

For when you just need to wash your knuckles.

5. HEALTHH

Did the designer just forget they used the weights for the first H by the time they got all the way to the other side of the word?

6. This has to be on purpose, right? They carved the "stones" into concrete...they were literally given a blank canvas. Ok, deep breaths.

If there's ever a sequel to "As Good As It Gets," this sidewalk should be Jack Nicholson's nemesis.

7. This step that's slightly taller than the rest.

This subway has one step a fraction of an inch higher than the others.

8. You may not enter.

Even worse, their high school mascot was the Owl.

9. The worst bathroom in America award goes to: The University of Central Florida Math Sciences men's room.

My University's Restroom From Hell – (UCF)

10. It looks so surprised someone would try to use it.

The bin in my hotel room

11. We'd make fun of whoever wrote this terrible sign in person, but they know karate.

SIGN - Something Is Going Not-right.

12. Nothing better than burning hot kitchen appliances that keep you on your toes!

The only way this could be more dangerous is if it moved a little bit every time you turned it on.

13. This wrong-facing traffic light apparently exists just to remind whoever lives in this house that they will never go anywhere.

This is what happens when you dump a city employee.

14. Sorry for any triggering memories, everyone who's tried to alter the volume while watching a video on a phone:

Because really, what could be more interesting than seeing your volume go up and down.

15. This is a biology textbook designed to teach evolution by showing how humans and horses have bone groups that once were the same. We want to make sure you know that, because that is NOT what it looks like.

The look in the horse's eyes says, "I know this is wrong. I couldn't stop them."

16. Some of these things are honest mistakes. The person who wrote this list of screen sizes is a bona fide sadist.

FORGET IT, I'LL READ!

17. How to make sure a homeowner will accidentally press the "Home Emergency" button every time it gets cold.

"Hi this is Brinks home security, is everything ok."
"Yeah I guess I'll just put on a sweater."

18. There was a small tear in the screen. Now everyone has to move out.

The patch was bad enough. The dripping epoxy is just the landlord's way of telling you it will never get better.

19. There is a lot of rage stemming from this off-center glass.

More impressive: the black object on the left indicates whoever took this picture is also picking up the check.

20. [Cue horror movie music]

Again: time to move.

21. Exhibit A in the defense for a driving-while-medicated trial will be the colors on this box vs. the colors on these pills:

For people who have colds, but also enjoy safer versions of Russian roulette.

22. From our normally smarter friends over at BuzzFeed:

In the middle: people who don't get Venn Diagrams.

23. This isn't technically a "design" issue, but when you're writing a guide to effective writing, putting a typo in the first line is like putting the front door on the second floor of a house.

It's is so painful to look at.

24. People often joke about things making Jesus weep, but seriously, the guy was a carpenter and He cannot be happy.

Forgive them, Father, they know not what they do. Except whoever who did that corner, because they should have asked a professional.

25. You've probably never even thought about how "U" and "A" can be backwards. Now you will.

Looks like whoever put those up should have had their coffee first.

26. Most people don't think of chicken salad sandwiches as having design. That is, until you find one that's designed to screw you out of money.

OK, so maybe not a design mistake, more of an on-purpose thing, but it still pisses us off.

27. Hopefully, this small business did this all on their own, because otherwise, some web designer owes them a really big refund.

On the plus side, no one can find them on Yelp to write a bad review.

28. We saved the best/worst for last.

Made by Professionals...

The 48 funniest reactions to the third and final presidential debate.

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Donald Trump warned of "bad hombres," described things bigly, spoke of baby ripping and more. Hillary Clinton pointed out she was taking out Osama Bin Laden while he was doing reality TV, and both accused each other of puppetry. This and more, in the 48 best reactions to the third presidential debate!

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