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Japanese women are fuming at ad calling them 'ugly' for applying makeup on subway.

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Society is constantly telling women in subtle ways to be pretty but never look like you're trying, and now this ad is saying it explicitly. A Japanese campaign targeting "bad subway manners" released a bizarre video that reprimands women for applying lipstick and mascara on the subway, the Washington Post reports. Because it makes them "ugly."

The ad from Tokyu Corporation, a private railway company, shows two young women applying makeup in a mostly empty train car. Then a woman with no makeup on says: “Women in the big city are all beautiful. But they can be ugly sometimes.”

The woman then does a weird, aggressive dance in front of the makeup-applying women, while singing: “Why can’t you do it before you get on the train? Your eyebrows restored and eyelashes multiplied, your transformation is witnessed.”
Isn't doing a weird dance and singing in a train car way more disruptive than applying makeup? The ad then ends with the message: “Please do not put on makeup on the train.”

You can watch the ad here:

It's almost too strange to be infuriating. But not quite. Many Japanese women are pissed, and have reacted on Twitter. “I can understand it if Tokyu’s ad asks me to stop putting makeup on because makeup powder might spill over or its smell bothers others,” wrote @ryudokaoruko, according to The Japan Times. “But a railway company has no right to tell me whether I look beautiful or ugly.”

Another Twitter user, @tinasuke, wrote: “If the firm wants to clamp down on people who make others uncomfortable, it should create a commercial targeting people with body odors, or people who smell of alcohol or vomit.”

Kyodo News Agency reported that someone else tweeted: “there are passengers who are a much bigger nuisance, such as drunks and gropers.” (Seconded!)

In spite of the backlash against the ad, Tokyu has no intention of taking it down. “We have actually received more positive feedback than negative,” said a Tokyu spokesman, according to Japan Times.

This all comes at a time when the Japanese government has been trying to encourage more women to enter the workforce. Uh, maybe more women would enter the workforce if you let them put on their makeup on the damn train so they can squeeze in an extra 20 minutes of much-needed sleep, ya hear?

Either that, or make it illegal to tell a woman she looks tired. And we could all abandon makeup entirely.


Here's a first listen of that Alessia Cara song Lin Manuel-Miranda wrote for 'Moana.'

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We're just under a month away from the much-anticipated release of Disney's newest animated film and first princess-without-a-love-interest, Moana. Today, Disney debuted a song from the film titled, "How Far I'll Go." It's performed by Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara and written by none other than the genius behind Hamilton, Lin Manuel-Miranda.

The song actually appears twice in the movie. Another version, performed by Moana voice actor Auli’i Cravalho, is part of the actual film. Cara's version plays over the movie's end credits.

It's like I always say: the only thing better than a new Disney movie is a new Disney movie with music written by Lin-Manuel Miranda.

The Moana soundtrack will be available on November 18, and the film hits theaters November 23.

Article 13

Donald Trump sexually humiliated a former Miss Universe in front of 10,000 people.

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As we've been told several times now, nobody respects women more than Donald Trump. NOBODY. Gloria Steinem? NOPE, Trump. He alone can respect women, and he will fight any woman who claims otherwise. A perfect example of his respect can be seen in this video from 2011, when Donald Trump was in Sydney, Australia, giving a speech on revenge success at the National Achievers' Congress. What better way to show his great respect for women than by sexually humiliating his "favorite" Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins, in front of 10,000 people? After all, she'd driven all that way to introduce him before his speech, but there was a brief period of time earlier that day where it seemed like she might not make it. If that doesn't call for revenge respect, what does, right?

As Trump explains, he was going to speaking at the conference, and he "naturally assumed" that Hawkins would be there. When he showed up to find she wasn't, he decided to incorporate it in part of his business speech, on the topic of "how quickly people forget." Because obviously since Hawkins won Miss Universe, she now owes her life to Trump. Anyway, she "zoomed over" to introduce him, so he "thought that was very nice." Apparently not nice enough to escape being humiliated, though, because Trump brings her back up onstage at the end of his speech.

At the 22:30 minute mark of this video, Trump says, "Now, there's a couple of other things, and these aren't things that you learn in business school, but you know, I believe in it. Get even with people. If they screw you, screw them back 10 times as hard. I really believe that. I mean, I'll give you an example: Jennifer Hawkins. Where's Jennifer? Where's she sitting? Come up here, Jennifer." Uh oh.

Trump rambles on for a few more minutes, until he finally gets to, "And then when I came here there was no Jennifer Hawkins."

Hawkins tries to explain herself, saying, "No, no, in my defense—" but because he respects women so much, he cuts her off (she can be heard saying, "Of course I wanted to come here!") and continues,

I was actually going to get up and tell you that Jennifer is a beautiful girl on the outside, but she’s not very bright. That wouldn’t have been true, but I would have said it anyway. Because I said, "You know what, it would be great." I haven’t seen Jennifer in a couple of years. She’s so great and she did so well, and she’s a big star here, and I helped her make it—I own the Miss Universe pageant. And I heard that she wouldn’t introduce me.

Hawkins interjects, "But I did!"

"No, but you didn’t," Trump says (but…but…she did!). He goes on, "So what happens is—and you know what? She came tonight, she came—came, she came, she came," at which point people in the audience start laughing, because haha, Trump said "came," clearly as a sexual innuendo.

As the crowd laughs, Trump adds, "See, so they have the same filthy minds in Australia." "As you," Hawkins clarifies.

Hawkins continues to try to explain the miscommunication for which she is being punished, until Trump, apparently having forgiven her, pulls her over to him for a big ol' kiss…which she manages to strategically block, so that his kiss ends up on her cheek instead of his on his intended target of her mouth. And he has so much respect for women, he never even asked her if he could touch her at all.

Wow, she must have felt so respected.

Parents of the year make little girl insult Hillary Clinton for a shot at viral YouTube fame.

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Children are our future—and they also make great political props. Let's say, for example, that you're a far-right Donald Trump supporter and have an inkling that your guy (and maybe the whole party!) will be going down in flames on Election Day. You could whip up a meme of Hillary Clinton with devil horns and a lot of misspelled, unattributed "facts" about her ties to a new world order conspiracy orchestrated by reptilian spacelords, but those haven't really been moving the needle lately. You need something that can really go viral on the part of Twitter where racist moms hang out. So what do you do?

Well, it's very simple: You convince your sweet, innocent child to say everything you're too grown-up to get away with saying. You record it all. You put it up on a dummy YouTube account with no other videos or contextual information. And you wait until a scorched-earth conservative mouthpiece like Matt Drudge blasts it out to his million frothing followers. Epic!

The funny thing is, not even Drudge Report readers were cool with this sort of exploitation. Even the egg avatars were calling it a tasteless ploy for clicks.

Man, if parents prompting their kid to yell "nobody likes you" at Hillary can't turn this election around for Trump, he's in worse trouble than we thought.

The FBI found new Hillary Clinton emails while investigating Anthony Weiner's sexting.

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FBI Director James Comey announced that the Bureau is investigating emails connected with Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server. The New York Timeshas reported that the Hillary-connected emails were found on devices belonging to top aide Huma Abedin and her soon-to-be-ex-husband Anthony Weiner while investigating his sexting.

That's right, Weiner's back, just as we were getting comfortable that America might not slide into fascism after all.

And it's YET ANOTHER October surprise that relates to dudes' ever-destructive horniness.

Comey sent a letter to members of Congress, which said that while the emails "did not come from [Clinton’s] private server," the FBI will " take appropriate investigative steps designed to allow investigators to review these emails to determine whether they contain classified information, as well as to assess their importance to our investigation."

A refresher, since the minor character Anthony Weiner has not been seen in an episode of Election 2016 in awhile: he is being investigated for allegedly sexting with a minor. It's disgusting and horrible and awful.

This is the way the world ends.

This is the way the world ends.

This is the way the world ends.

Not with a bang but a Weiner.

Parents love this mom's hilarious Facebook rant about school's 'Red Ribbon Week.'

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Texan mommy blogger Melissa Radke is blowing up Facebook with a hilarious rant against her kid's school and its plan for "Red Ribbon Week," a week-long effort to keep kids off drugs by making their parents buy them a bunch of new clothes for some reason.

Radke's video is a huge hit on Facebook—in three days it's received almost 60,000 likes, and been shared more than 181,000 times. It's resonating with parents for two reasons: because Radke is extremely funny (that camo line kills me), and because every parents realizes that while keeping kids off drugs is important, ideas like "Red Ribbon Week" are just dumb. I mean, "Team up against drugs?" Come on.

Article 8


The top 39 tweets of the week, as picked by someone who dearly loves tweets.

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This week, the news was all about the World Series, Twitter killing off Vine, and, of course, the presidentialelection. Unwind with jokes about flu shots, selfies, Uber drivers and more. These are the top 39 tweets of the week!

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The 25 funniest reactions to Anthony Weiner rearing his ugly head again.

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The FBI is investigating Hillary's emails again and it's all because of Anthony Weiner.

The inquiry into Weiner allegedly sexting with a minor lead the FBI to continue investigating the case of Hillary's private email server, 11 days before the election.

Here are jokes, many of them puns.

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7 things you missed today while you were at your boring adult job: Mike Pence, flying Ubers, 'The Bachelor.'

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Happy Friday! It can be hectic trying to get everything at work done before you head out for the weekend (especially when your boss keeps mysteriously finding even more tasks to assign you), so you might not have had time to educate yourself on all of the day's internet gossip. That's what we're here for. We read A LOT of internet gossip. Here's what you missed today, October 28, 2016, while you were at your boring adult job.

1. VP nominee Mike Pence's plane skidded of the runway at Laguardia Airport in NYC. Luckily everyone's okay. (Via US Weekly)

2. Uber is planning a flying car service so we can all be Jetsons IRL. (Via Consumerist)

3. These are the 10 best burgers in America. I'm hungry now. (Via Thrillist)

4. The first promo for Nick Viall's upcoming season of The Bachelor is here. (Via E!)

5. This couple has the most awesome how-we-met story out there. (Via Refinery29)

6. This is the real legend behind American Horror Story: Roanoke's Pig Man. (Via Mental Floss)

7. This dog's life is complete after her owner dressed up as a life-sized version of her favorite toy. (Via EliteDaily)

Article 4

Bill Cosby's lawyers make weird argument he's 'legally blind' and can't recognize his accusers.

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As if there wasn't already enough scary stuff in the news, Bill Cosby's lawyers argued in court documents filed yesterday that the 79-year-old would be unable to recognize the women accusing him of sexual assault because he is "legally blind," NBC News reports.

So basically Cosby, who has been accused of drugging and raping dozens of women, couldn't defend himself against these accusations in court because he wouldn't be able to see the women's faces? It's an insane argument. And yet…

“No 79-year-old blind man could possibly defend himself against a claim that he sexually assaulted someone he supposedly met once, half a century ago,” Cosby's lawyers claim in the filing, according to NBC News. Apparently the Cosby Show star (ugh) registered with a state commission for the blind, and will bring a doctor’s report to prove his blindness to the pretrial, which is set to begin next Tuesday.

Prosecutors in Pennsylvania, where the trial will take place, are arguing that Cosby's blindness wouldn't prevent him from assisting in his defense. He faces three charges of felony indecent assault and ten years in prison for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand at his home in 2004.

This is one old, blind man who doesn't deserve a shred of sympathy. IMHO.

President Barack Obama shuts down our dreams of a future President Michelle Obama.

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Is First Lady Michelle Obama perfect? Of course. Would she make a great President? Obviously, yes. But it's time for all of us to accept that it's never, ever going to happen.

President Obama (the current one) went on Sirius XM’s Sway in the Morning this morning, as part of his campaign to keep the gropey Oompa Loompa out of The White House, and he was asked for the trillionth time if there was a chance FLOTUS might run for President. And for the trillionth time, he said: nope.

Obama said she has zero interest in taking on the position, and basically implied she's above it (she is). “[Michelle] will never run for office," he said. "She is as talented and brilliant a person as there is and I could not be prouder of her, but Michelle does not have the patience or the inclination to actually be a candidate herself. That’s one thing y’all can take to the bank. But she’s gonna be, just as I am, we’re going to continue to be very active in terms of issues we care about.”

But we can only accept this if Michelle Obama says so herself! Sorry, but she has. Many times. There is even a CNN timeline of the times Michelle Obama or her reps have confirmed that she’s not running, ever. At South by Southwest in March 2016, she put it most succinctly: “I will not run for president. No, nope, not going to do it.”

It's a tough pill to swallow, the thought of a President who isn't an Obama. I guess we'll just have to hang tight for a few years until Malia is old enough to run.

NICU nurse dresses up newborn babies as the world's tiniest superheroes.

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Not all heroes wear capes. But some do! Like the little newborns at the Natal Infant Care Unit of Catawba Valley Medical Center in Hickory, North Carolina. Veteran NICU nurse Katie Windsor decided to celebrate Halloween this year by dressing up the newborns in her unit as teeny, tiny superheroes, People reports. And she chose superhero costumes for a very sweet reason.

“I was on Pinterest looking around for ideas and I saw something that sparked an idea,” Windsor told People. “I thought these little babies need to be superheroes because they already are little heroes.”

So she dressed them up in a range of tiny, knitted superhero costumes, including a Batbaby, a Superbaby, and a mini-Princess Akira. The photos have clutched the heartstrings of the internet, getting thousands of likes and shares on the center's Facebook page.

And you can see why:

The story is especially moving considering that the NICU can be a scary and traumatic place for new parents. Emily Sauceda is the mother of little Batman, aka her son Fisher, who was born weighing just 2 pounds and now weighs barely 6. “I had been trying to find a costume but couldn’t find anything small enough,” she told People. “Being in the NICU is hard, it’s a difficult situation, but this made us feel like regular moms and dads.”

Turns out, this has been part of Winsor's plan all along. “They have to leave their babies at the hospital and it’s not normal," she said. "This kind of normalized things for them and at that moment it made them happy."

Kate Winsor is clearly a hero herself. And thanks to her, I finally figured out my Halloween costume: woman sobbing while looking at pictures of tiny babies dressed as superheroes!!!


Halloween

Halloween

Someone added a sad Smiths song to silly infomercial screwups, and it is perfect.

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YouTuber AbsoluteDestiny overlayed the Smiths song "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want"to a bunch of people failing to get anything they want in infomercials. Ironically, it's exactly what the internet always wanted.

Nowhere is safe: someone edited David S. Pumpkins into your favorite horror movies.

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Right now, Jesse McLaren's horror masterpiece starring the bafflingly scary David Pumpkins is only 51 seconds long, but we could easily see a major studio buying the rights and stretching it into a seven-part series. If you don't know who David S. Pumpkins is, well, you should watch this first. But now, the Pumpkinsing:

14 cats (and a dog) who are not super stoked about #NationalCatDay.

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Cats, as we all know, are not the most enthusiastic creatures. Even when it comes to activities you'd think they'd enjoy—shredding your furniture, puking in your shoes, ignoring your continued appeals for love—they seem to go about their feline business without any real excitement or passion.

So you can hardly expect them to get pumped up for #NationalCatDay. They don't know what social media or hashtags are, and if they did, they'd be even more pissed off than they already are at having to pose for these photos. If you need proof that this is a phony holiday designed for and by humans, not the irritable furballs they profess to adore, look no further.

it's #NationalCatDay She won't let up. #TacoCat #mainecoon #catsofinstagram

A photo posted by Taco Cat (@therealtacocat) on

In honor of #nationalcatday here's Meeko - the only cat I have ever loved 😹❤️😻

A photo posted by Sami Pickens (@sami_pickens) on

😸😸😸 When you're a real life emoji 😸😸😸 #relatable Happy #nationalcatday !!!

A photo posted by Mango Brown Talking Kitty Cat (@justmangobrown) on

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