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18 people boldly share their most embarrassing brain farts.

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The human brain is a marvelous wonder of electricity and mush. So when the brain decides to take a little "me time," it's usually during a task you've done a billion times before. Luckily, a few people had enough brainpower recently to get on Reddit and share their most ridiculous brain farts, and they're a mixture of hilarious and pathetic.

1. You'll never guess where JayGold found his keys.

I thought I lost my keys while driving. I panicked because I couldn't feel them in my pocket.

2. But banana_surgery never did find that phone.

I thought I lost my phone while talking on my phone once.

3. User frogbrigade has a good blanket. Such a good blanket! Yes it is!

Pet my dog until I realized she was gone and I was petting one of those fleece blankets that feels like pets.

4. For this to work, laidymondegreen, you have to buy two monitors.

Usually it involves the difference between the computer and not-the-computer. I once tried to turn off a lamp by double clicking on it and got irritated that the cursor was hitting the edge of the screen.

5. Fortunately for FootballAndBicycles, string cheese wrappers are almost indistinguishable from string cheese.

Took the wrapper off a cheese string. Dropped cheese string into the bin. Put wrapper in my mouth.

6. User liquor_for_breakfast had that awkward moment when they were on fire.

Take cigarette from pack -> light it and take a drag -> put lit cigarette behind my ear -> take another cigarette from pack -> flip the fuck out smacking myself in the side of the head

7. Work owns all, Gizmo-Duck, and we are helpless.

Went to go grocery shopping on Saturday and ended up at work, 10 miles in the opposite direction.

8. And littlesunbear will probably have to move those glasses so there's room for more glasses.

This actually just happened today. I wanted a glass of water, so I poured one and sat down, didn't drink from it. A couple minutes pass and I note that I am thirsty, so I go and pour another glass, still without drinking it. This continues until I realize that there are four cups of untouched water crowding my desk, and I'm still thirsty as hell.

9. This thing that koch12 describes is the greatest fear of society's woke but sleepy males.

Zoned out before first period in high school. Came to with best friend's girlfriend motioning to get my attention. Apparently when I had zoned out my eyes drifted, and was staring straight at her chest.

10. This is like when you finally find your sunglasses and they're on top of your head, except for I_choose_magikarp it's much, much more embarrassing.

Pulled into my driveway and as I started walking to my front door I noticed I didn't have my glasses on. I knew I had driven with them on. I need them to drive. Spent at least 30 minutes scouring my entire car. Under my car. Around my driveway. I looked in places they couldn't possibly be. After my frustration boiled over I sat down and placed my head in my hands. I was wearing them the entire time. All I can say is that like an odd number, I don't even.

11. What books were they, though, MT_Straycat? Like Water for Chocolate? The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake? Cold Mountain?

Put books in the refrigerator.

12. Leave a light on for JakeTheSnakes11.

I started looking for my phone at night and got a flashlight to look for it(It was dark out). Turns out I was using my phone's light to look for my phone, took me about 1 minute to realize this.

13. And then it did for vodka_titties. It didn't, but wouldn't it be awesome if it did?

Waited 5 minutes for a STOP sign to turn green.

14. Have some of trollingsloth's signature Hot Salad.

I caught myself blowing on Salad last night before putting it in my mouth. I stopped for a solid 20 seconds thinking about how stupid it was.

15. BobbyEn9 has lots of fans.

Closed my laptop because the fan was distracting me from finding my laptop

16. Sounds like polite sigurd_syr had a brain fart in Canada.

Thanking elevators and automatic doors.

17. Can't believe that it's the future already and this thing magiccoffeetruck describes isn't an actual thing yet.

Trying to pinch and zoom on a paper book.

18. Spinkydink12 has been cooking the accounts.

Put my PIN number in on the microwave


Article 64

Heidi Klum's Halloween costume was 5x bigger than ever before.

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Heidi Klum always goes big on Halloween, and this year you can say her costume was 5x bigger than ever before. Instead of layering on the prosthetics, body paint, and wigs, Klum simply went as herself—with five clones. Congrats, men, your fantasy has just come true.

And the reveal was just as epic as the costume itself. Heidi and her doppelgängers made quite the entrance at Klum's annual Halloween party by being presented in a giant box labeled "Made in Germany." When opened, they all spun around and had guests seeing sextuple.

@heidiklum clones herself for Halloween! #heidiklum #heidihalloween

A video posted by Alicia like Patricia (@aliciacpowell) on

All of Monday Klum teased the costume by constantly uploading pictures and videos of the getting ready process. At first it was hard to tell what this costume was going to be.

Mike and Mike doing what they do best @prorenfx @mikefontaine_ #heidihalloween

A video posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

More lashes please 👁 @lindahaymakeup #heidihalloween

A video posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

Getting there 😛#heidihalloween

A video posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

Then she totally threw fans off by uploading pictures of prosthetics being prepped and applied.

@prorenfx #heidihalloween

A video posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

What am I going to be? 👁🎃👻 #heidihalloween @prorenfx @mikefontaine_

A video posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

But things became more and more clear once she started uploading pictures of multiple nails, shoes, wigs, etc.

sooooooooooo much to do 💅🏻

A video posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

Soooooo much hair @robeauhair 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

A video posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

👢👢👢👢👢👢😛#heidihalloween

A photo posted by Heidi Klum (@heidiklum) on

All in all, the costume itself is okay. Technically Klum didn't even dress up, but hired 5 other people to wear Halloween costumes. Of course she looks fantastic (she always does), but just wearing a body suit and fishnets isn't much of a costume. This look was definitely not as spectacular as some of Klum's costumes from years past.

In 2010, Heidi literally transformed herself into a transformer.
In 2011, Heidi and her ex-husband Seal went as apes.
In 2013, Klum covered her perfect bod in head-to-toe prosthetics.
And last year Klum went as Jessica Rabbit from your nightmares.

But hey, having five of you definitely makes hosting a party much easier (and much more confusing for guests). Maybe Heidi should have them stick around and she can host even more television shows. Make it work!

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson's daughter absolutely refused to let him stop dancing in his Pikachu costume.

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Since his daughter's perhaps a little young to go trick or treating, Dwayne Johnson donned his little nine-month-old's favorite costume and started dancing.

And dancing. And dancing. And dancing.

His adorable little girl, Jasmine, would start crying whenever he stopped. So the Rock, absolutely glistening in sweat, kept going.

Wait for the moment he takes off his sweltering helmet.

"So Pikachu danced over.. and over.. and over.. and over... and over.. again," wrote the good dad.

Worth it.

Beyoncé and Jay Z got all dolled up as Barbie and Ken for Halloween.

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Beyoncé is definitely one of the queens of Halloween, right up there with Ellen DeGeneres and Heidi Klum. Over the weekend she and her 4-year-old daughter Blue Ivy attended a costume party dressed as rappers Salt-N-Pepa (from the 1986 "Push It" video, specifically), and then on Halloween she and husband Jay Z went all out as matching black Barbie and Ken dolls, complete with boxes, natch.

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

Blue Ivy wasn't left out of this costume theme, either—she accompanied her parents as the littlest Barbie fan, with a Barbie leather jacket and pink skirt.

A photo posted by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

It's going to be hard to top this next Halloween, but there's no doubt they will—after all, they've got a year to plan.

Taylor Swift borrowed her Halloween costume from Ryan Reynolds and she wants the world to know.

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Taylor Swift spent 2016 tangling with the Kardashian-Wests, but now it's Halloween. This is her moment. So she went and borrowed an authentic Deadpool costume from the man himself, Ryan Reynolds.

Thanks @vancityreynolds for this costume, you're the BEST deadpool inside contact ever 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

"Thanks @vancityreynolds for this costume" wrote Swift, "you're the BEST deadpool inside contact ever 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉."

It's hard to say if this is a humblebrag, a shameless brag, or just an authentic expression of gratitude. Actually no, it's the second one.

Whatever, Blake Lively approved.

Nice.

Swift's had a hard year—she deserves to flaunt her celebrity a little bit.

🎃

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

And she's still got her ladies.

The cast of 'New Girl' dressed as the cast of a much darker TV show.

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There have been so many cool Halloween costumes this year, and the cast of Fox's New Girl threw their collective hat into the ring for Best Group Costume by dressing up as the cast of another popular TV show, FX's American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson. Creator and showrunner Liz Meriwether tweeted a picture Monday night of the cast dressed in their costumes, which as it turns out, isn't from a Halloween-themed episode, but a Christmas one, set to air later this year.

Behold: from left to right, Max Greenfield as Robert Shapiro, Hannah Simone as Judge Lance Ito, Jake Johnson as Robert Kardashian, Zooey Deschanel as Marcia Clark, and Lamorne Morris as Christopher Darden.

If only there were a few more cast members, maybe someone would have dressed as O.J. Simpson himself. Or maybe that's a bit too scary.

Weather presenter drops 21 groan-worthy horror puns in 1-minute Halloween forecast.

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Sian Welby of England's Channel 5 has become famous for her punderful weather reports, celebrating events such as the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Batman v. Superman, and now, Halloween. On Monday's report, she managed to cram an impressive 21 horror puns into a 67-second broadcast. If you're afraid of puns (and you should be), this will chill you to the bone.

Of course, someone on Twitter deciphered all the puns.

The horror. The horror.


Watch 47 years of Hillary Clinton's style evolution in under 2 minutes.

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Let's just get this all out up top: No male politician would ever have their "style evolution" made into a video, and people talk about Hillary's clothes/makeup/hair way too much. Hillary's appearance has nothing to do with how she governs. Good. Now let's watch this video about how Hillary's clothes/makeup/hair has changed since the late '60s.

Hillary Clinton has spent decades in the public eye between serving as FLOTUS, a New York Senator, and Secretary of State, and in exactly one week, she may even be elected our first female President.

Hillary Clinton's appearance has been scrutinized throughout her long political career, but talking about a woman's style isn't always superficial. Many women (and men) use hair, makeup and clothing as a way to empower themselves, creating an image that helps them to feel confident and in control. Clinton, who calls herself a "hair icon" and "pantsuit aficionado," has definitely created a personal style as strong as she is. Check out this video by Allure that shows Hillary's most iconic beauty moments.

Hillary Clinton's style is all about power, and she definitely has a "presidential look."

President Obama told Samantha Bee the spookiest Halloween story that's only five words long.

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Barack Obama sat down with Samantha Bee for Full Frontal's first annual Halloween presidential sit-down, and spooked the audience with the scariest Halloween story imaginable.

After making the president crack up with her, like, omigod, delightfully cray cray millennial impression that's also scary AF, Sam asked the prez for a spooky story "about what happens if people don't vote." It's lit, fam.

Yes, it totes involves a certain Batman villain Mr. Donald J. Trump.

Five words is all it takes, and everyone should be afraid.

Dad's brilliant idea for airplane trick-or-treating saves Halloween for his daughter.

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On a long flight from Boston to San Francisco on Halloween night, a woman named Stephanie Kahan overheard a little girl tell her dad "how she was excited to trick or treat."

Logically, Kahan thought the girl was confused. "I felt sad because I was thinking about how when we landed in San Francisco, it would be way too late to trick or treat," she told BuzzFeed News.

But anything's possible for a determined dad with the fastened seatbelt sign turned off.

When they got on the plane, the dad passed around candy accompanied by the following note:

My 3-year-old daughter, Molly, was bummed that she wouldn't be able to go trick-or-treating this year due to this flight.... so I decided to bring trick-or-treating to her. If you are willing, when my little donut comes down the aisle, please drop this in her basket. You'll be making her Halloween! If you're unwilling, no worries, just pass the treat back to me. Thanks so much!

And his daughter trick-or-treated from row to row.

(This also allows the parent to control exactly what candy his daughter gets—it's genius.)

"The father said that he had this planned for a while with her as a special treat," said Kahan. "The few rows around me were really into it and thought it was absolutely adorable." Duh.

Little Molly, dressed as a donut, may have missed Halloween in San Fran, but she had the internet's most viral sky-o-ween of all time.

Lena Dunham got creative with a Donald Trump-inspired Halloween costume.

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Halloween is all about being scary, and there's really nothing scarier than Donald Trump's 2005 assertion that he was a big fan of grabbing women"by the pussy" (except the idea of a Donald Trump presidency, that is). Lena Dunham saw the opportunity for a great costume and ran with it, dressing up as an actual "grabbed pussy" for Halloween.

Happy Halloween! With love from a Grabbed Pussy ✋🐱📸 by the very tolerant @jenna_wb #imanasshole

A photo posted by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on

An Instagram posted by Dunham on Monday night shows the 30-year-old dressed as a black cat with a pair of fake hands attached to her, one near her breast, and the other—well, you know.

Adele gets real about her struggle with postpartum depression.

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Everyone loves Adele. (How could you not?) The singer is on the upcoming cover of Vanity Fair'sDecember issue and in it, she opens up about her struggle with postpartum depression.

Adele says in the interview that she's "too scared" to have more children because she "had really bad postpartum depression" after giving birth to her now four-year-old son, Angelo.

Adele said that while she was "very reluctant" at first to talk to others about her depression, she eventually found herself gravitating towards other women who had children.

"My friends who didn't have kids would get annoyed with me," she told Vanity Fair, "whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn’t judge each other."

Adele also says that her experience with postpartum was much different than her preconceived notions of the condition. She explains:

My knowledge of postpartum—or post-natal, as we call it in England—is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life . . . . It can come in many different forms

At one point, Adele realized the importance of taking care of herself. "Eventually I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the fuck I want without my baby," she says. "A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it."

Adele explains that at this time, four of her friends were feeling the same way she was, but "everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it; they thought everyone would think they were a bad mom, and it's not the case."

Adele says that while she occasionally still feels guilty for not being able to spend as much time with her son while she's, you know, being a world-famous musical artist and touring the globe, "I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him . . . . I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again."

There's no question: Adele is a freakin' rock star.

Clown porn is surging in popularity and it's mainly thanks to women.

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As clowns surge in notoriety in a country riveted by a scary clown epidemic, people are turning to porn to better understand their fears. Or something. What we mean is: Clown searches on Pornhub were up 213% in October.

According to the porn site, this surge happens to any subject that gets "increased media coverage," but as a media company we refuse to take the blame for this. This is on you guys.

The most searched for terms are, in order, "clown porn," "clown girl," and—wow—"clown gangbang."

As if you didn't already know that.

For unknown reasons, women flock to this freaky fruit 33% more than men.

Pornhub statisticians (the dream job for any math major) were also sure to research the preceding searches, or what people were watching before they decided, "you know what? I'm gonna look for clown porn now."

Cool, no comment.

Justin Theroux's Instagram wasn't throwing shade at Brad Pitt, just in case you thought it was.

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On Sunday, actor Justin Theroux (a.k.a. Mr. Jennifer Aniston) posted an Instagram of a picture painted onto a wall of a woman pretending to gag herself with her middle finger, while behind her, a whole lot of f*cking is going on. Words like, "Fuck imperialism," "Fuck Facebook," "Fuck cocaine," "Fuck war," and "Fuck pickles" (hey!) cover the wall around the woman and fill the whole frame of the picture. And if you read them all, you will no doubt notice that one of the things the wall wants to f*ck is Brad Pitt, and probably not in the good way.

Theroux captioned his Instagram, painted by artist Nick Flatt, "#currentelectionmood #berlin #graffiti #fuckingnickflatt @andNOthispostisNOT'shading'anyonebecauseimnotelevemyearsoldimeanseriously #okaymaybepickles." (Nice hashtag, too bad about the typo!)

So yeah, just because Theroux is married to Jennifer Aniston, who used to be married to Brad Pitt, doesn't mean that Theroux has anything against Brad Pitt. And just in case you thought it did, Theroux's hashtag is letting you know that it doesn't.

What's he got against pickles, though?


Justin Timberlake turned trick-or-treating into a trailer for ‘Trolls.’

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Justin Timberlake of 'N Sync and voting booth selfie fame ingeniously used Halloween to market his new movie, almost trolling the holiday in the name of "Trolls."

JT, Jessica Biel and their 18-month-old son Silas were decked out as characters from Justin's upcoming movie "Trolls," different from the trolling costumes like Pepe the Frog.

Timberlake and Silas were both his character, Branch, as Biel dressed up as Poppy, voiced by Anna Kendrick.

It doesn't take a riddle to figure out the the subtext. Timberlake kept it real by writing, “When you make your whole family dress up as the characters from the movie you’re in but your wife secretly loves it and your son won’t keep his troll wig on," adding the hashtag, "#didIuseaholidayforselfpromo."

Happy Halloween from Poppy, Branch and lil Branch. We be Trollin'...

A photo posted by Jessica Biel (@jessicabiel) on

The official marketing team was on board with this man-on-the-street subtle product placement, as Timberlake literally went from door to door raising awareness of the upcoming release.

Trolls opens in theaters on November 4th. Sorry you got this as reminder and not the Timberlake family on your doorstep.

Dr. Pimple Popper digs huge fatty lump out of remarkably chill dad's forehead.

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The best part of any Dr. Pimple Popper video is Dr. Lee's fun banter with her patients. Just kidding, the best part is seeing her pop disgusting blobs out of them. But the banter is also excellent. Take this dad, who is delightfully shy and bemused as Dr. Lee digs a lipoma (a benign fatty growth) out of his forehead.

Dr. Lee really has a way with people. And with their cysts.

Article 35

Samantha Bee has some pretty convincing evidence that Donald Trump doesn't know how to read.

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Political analyst and fact-finder Samantha Bee recognized how easy it is to take "random scraps of evidence and spin them into ridiculous conspiracy theories," so she and her team at Full Frontal pieced together edits from hours of Donald Trump's depositions as well as public hearsay to assert the obvious: Donald Trump can't read.

"I mean, do you want me to read it? It's long." - Donald Trump

Here are some of Bee's "facts":

  • Trump can't read "without his glasses."
  • He shouts his tweets to his office staff instead of typing them himself.
  • He doesn't use teleprompters.
  • And so much more...

Glamour added Bono to it's 'Women of the Year' list for some reason.

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Philanthropic rock star Bono is the first man to make Glamour's "Women of the Year" list. Did they ran out of accolades to give to men?

wwwhhhhyyyyyyyyyyy

Glamour's "Women of the Year" list always boasts a diverse group of accomplished females from actors to activists, but this is the first year that they have included a man. Other honorees this year include ISIS kidnap survivor Nadia Murad, Black Lives Matter leaders Patrisse Cullors, Alicia Garza and Opal Tometi, model/body activist Ashley Graham, and gold-medalist Simone Biles, to name a few.

Cindi Leive, Glamour​'s editor-in-chief gave this statement about the magazine's choice to include Bono on this year's list.

We’ve talked for years about whether to honor a man at Women of the Year and we’ve always kind of put the kibosh on it. You know, men get a lot of awards and aren’t exactly hurting in the celebration and honors department.

Yes, exactly! Oh wait, there's more.

But it started to seem that that might be an outdated way of looking at things, and there are so many men who really are doing wonderful things for women these days. Some men get it, and Bono is one of those guys.

Okay. Yes, there are so many wonderful men who do great things, and they get should and do get recognized for that. Often. For example, all eleven people who won the Novel Prize this year were men. Did all those men deserve it? Yes. Were there also women who made incredible strides in their respective fields who weren't recognized? Yes. Women always seem to be a variable when men get to be the constant.

There is no arguing that Bono is a bona fide (Bono fide?) humanitarian who does incredible things, but maybe he doesn't have to be on a women mandated list. Being a guy who "gets it," I'm sure he'd get that.

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