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Green Day secures the 2004 vote by changing 'American Idiot' for Donald Trump.

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Apparently, Green Day gets a ton of respect in Europe. At MTV's Europe Music Awards on Sunday, the wonderful Idris Elba presented them with the Global Icon Award.

But the distance from America, and American politics, was purely geographical. Accepting the award, lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong said, "It's really nice to be in Europe right now. It's especially nice to be in Holland... but most of all it's nice to be out of America, just for a second, because of this horrendous election that's going on right now."

"The entire country is about to have one big collective heart attack."

True, true.

Towards the end of the night, Green Day took the stage to perform "American Idiot," a song you might remember giving voice to your teenage angst (or teenage eyeliner) as the country dealt with the first year of the Iraq invasion in 2004.

Ever the clever lyricist, Armstrong changed the line, "Can you hear the sound of hysteria?/The subliminal mind f*** America" to "The subliminal mind Trump America."

That'll show 'em.


Kim Kardashian might want to borrow someone else's uterus for nine months.

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A clip from next Sunday's episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians shows that Kim Kardashian West may be considering having a third baby, but this time through a surrogate. In the preview, the 36-year-old tells her mother, Kris Jenner, "I've come to the conclusion that I just want to explore surrogacy."

West didn't have an easy time with pregnancy the first two go-rounds. During the pregnancies for both of her kids with Kanye West (daughter North, 3, and son Saint, 11 months), she suffered from a condition called placenta accretion, where the placenta fails to properly detach from the uterus after birth. This means the doctor is forced to remove it by hand, a risky procedure because there's a chance the mother can hemorrhage, and one West reportedly called, "the most painful experience" of her life. And that was after the procedure in which her not-yet-born son had to be moved from the breech position (meaning he would have been born legs first, which is obviously quite dangerous) before she went into labor, a procedure she called"probably more painful than childbirth."

One konfusing thing about the Kardashians, for those of you who don't watch their TV show, is that there are two different Kardashian timelines in the world—the first is their real, actual lives (or at least what the media shows us of it), and the second is what happens on their show, which airs months after being filmed. Meaning, this conversation happened before the horrific robbery she endured in Paris. Hopefully her experience, which changed a lot of things about her life in general, hasn't affected any plans she may have had to add to her family.

9 hilarious responses to Trump surrogate's 'mazel tov cocktail' slip-up.

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Of all the unintentional comedy this election season, the phrase "mazel tov cocktail" is making a last minute push for the crowning moment of comic relief.

On Sunday, a Trump surrogate named Scottie Nell Hughes attempted to disparage Clinton surrogate Jay Z for featuring a Molotov cocktail in a 2012 music video for "No Church in the Wild."

Instead, she said this:

Hughes was properly embarrassed for her slip of the tongue:

And Twitter was properly delighted.

Last day of Trump campaign features aide comparing voter turnout to women's moods.

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Donald Trump's digital director Brad Parscale decided to sneak in a statement about women being moody in a discussion about voter turnout, because apparently Trump people aren't capable of being at least a little bit offensive.

"It will be close," Parscale toldBloomberg News, describing the race in Florida's Miami-Dade county.

“It’s like predicting your wife’s mood. You have no idea what you’re going to get until you get home.”

Why? What? Do people really talk like that?

While most of us have become desensitized now to Trump saying sexist and nonsensical things, the fact that people in his orbit can't help but phrase things that have nothing to do with sexist stereotypes show a Trumped Up Trickle Down of sexism down to his underlings.

What a smart way to get out the vote: Alienate 51 percent of the population.

Also, in all likelihood, Parscale's wife's bad moods are very predictable and mostly have to do with him.

Article 30

Watching Justin Bieber give an impromptu performance in a bar will make you a total Belieber.

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Justin Bieber gave an impromptu performance in a bar on Friday night, treating patrons of the Fifth Pubhouse in Toronto to two songs on the piano.

According toNoisey, Justin was hanging around the bar alone, drinking and watching the basketball game when "the spirit moved him to the keyboard," which is the most Justin Bieber-y thing ever said. He then played a stripped down version of his song "Sorry."

He also played "Let it Be" by The Beatles. Here is his rendition (in part) of the famous song.

Whether you are a fan or not, you have to admit that Justin sounded pretty damn good.

Noisey reports that Biebs was rewarded for the free concert by receiving an "entire bar tab worth of free drinks," which he definitely could have afforded all on his own but was a very nice gesture on behalf of the bar.

Hey Justin, do you play birthday parties and bar mitzvahs?

14 celebrities who voted early because they're better than us.

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Election Day 2016 (or as history might remember it depending on who wins, the apocalypse) is almost here. But early voting in many states has allowed around 6 million Americans to get out to the polls already, including a lot of famous Americans. Psh. Over achievers. Here are 14 celebs who have already done their civic duty (and didn't accidentally break the law in the process, unlike SOME PEOPLE. Ahem, Justin Timberlake.)

1. Jessica Biel

2. Eva Longoria

3. Jenna Fischer

4. Drew Barrymore

5. Ian Somerhalder

6. Lauren Conrad

✔️🇺🇸

A photo posted by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on

7. Christian Slater

8. Mario Lopez

9. January Jones

10. Ludacris

The couple that votes together.....

A photo posted by @ludacris on

11. Kelly Clarkson

12. Blake Lively

13. Brie Larson

14. Shonda Rhimes

Guy trying to get a lost phone back sends the stupidest text in the history of mankind.

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On Reddit today, a certain good samaritan uploaded a text exchange between him and the last contact on a lost phone he had found. Trying to return the lost device, he encountered the pinnacle of idiocy.

This is either fake or the stupidest text exchange in the illustrious history of stupid text exchanges.

"Yeah, I'll let Rah Rah know," the dude wrote on Reddit.

This is, of course, not the first insanely dumb text message exchange surfaced by an internet that hungers for them. Please allow me to introduce you to this drunk dude who needed a ride, and then didn't.

Or, if you're more into a fine red-faced vintage, let me offer you this one from a thirsty dude just absolutely desperate to send a woman a dick pic.

You're well on your way to becoming a sommelier of phone losers.


Open letter to Trump supporters from 'The People of Germany' goes viral.

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A German citizen penned this open letter to Trump supporters asking them to examine the similarities between Donald Trump and Hitler. Comparing Trump's racism and demeanor to Hitler's isn't anything anti-Trumpers haven't done before, but this time the letter went viral because it was signed by "the people of Germany."

“Go ahead, vote for the guy with the loud voice who hates minorities, threatens to imprison his opponents, doesn’t give a f**k about democracy, and claims he alone can fix everything," writes 44-year-old German under the pseudonym "Johan Franklin," currently working and living San Diego.

"What could possibly go wrong?" he adds, before emitting a warning in bold, "Good Luck."

He signed it from "the people of Germany."

The message naturally holds more gravity coming from a country that had to live with the ramifications of electing a monster.

Faced with the scrutiny of the internet, Franklin was prompted to write this explanatory part two where he admits he is only one person and can't speak for all of Germany, but was doing so to "add emphasis."

He also admits that the comparison of any candidate to Hitler is a well-worn cliché, and that the comparison could never be direct unless that candidate also systematically murdered 12 million people. Nevertheless, he points out that the main question Germans get asked about how Hitler was elected is, "How could your people not have known?"

He says he doesn't get that question often anymore.

Jennifer Aniston says to stop whittling her down to 'a sad, childless human.'

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Jennifer Aniston is tired of being perceived as lonely and sad.

Everyone's favorite Smart water-drinking, Aveeno-wearing Friend is doing great, but tabloids insist on projecting this thing onto her that she's actually a lonely childless woman, dragging her into her ex Brad Pitt's divorce. But Aniston used her Marie Claire magazine cover to tell the people that despite the media's nonsense, she's doing just fine.

Marie Claire asked Aniston about her Huffington Post op-ed, where she talked about being fed up with fake pregnancy rumors and constant body shaming.

Rachel got real:

My marital status has been shamed; my divorce status was shamed; my lack of a mate had been shamed; my nipples have been shamed. It's like, Why are we only looking at women through this particular lens of picking us apart? Why are we listening to it? I just thought:I have worked too hard in this life and this career to be whittled down to a sad, childless human.

It's true. Aniston has done a lot of other things than not have children. Like star in one of the most successful sitcoms of all time and parlay it into a long, lucrative film career—although people would rather talk about how many kids she doesn't have.

Things got really cute when she was asked about her husband, Justin Theroux, whom she is currently with, though yes she used to be married to Brad Pitt.

Why is he the right person for me? All I know is that I feel completely seen, and adored, in no matter what state. There's no part of me that I don't feel comfortable showing, exposing. And it brings forth the best part of myself, because I care about him so much. And he's such a good person. It hurts me to think of anything hurting him.

Read the whole sneak peek over at Marie Claire.

Watch Samantha Bee call Donald Trump 43 nasty names in less than two minutes.

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Samantha Bee's weekly news show Full Frontal has not exactly been what you'd call "pro-Trump" during this election season. She, like many women, hates Donald Trump, and she and her writers come up with creative new horrible descriptions for him each week. Put all those together, and you've got a quite a clip.

Bee calls Trump, among other things, a "demagoguing bag of candy corn," "crotch-fondling slab of rancid meatloaf," "screaming carrot demon," "first-grader with a head injury," "sixteen-month Hindenburg explosion," "tangerine-tinted trash can fire," and "backfired wish that Republicans made on a cursed monkey’s paw."

But hey, Hillary mishandled some emails, so it's up to you who you feel is a better candidate for President of the United States.

Article 23

The best and the worst dressed of the Hollywood Film Awards, whatever that is.

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The 20th annual Hollywood Film Awards were on Sunday, and although the award ceremony is two-decades old, people still have no clue what it is. Even the evening's host James Corden quipped that these were just "fake awards," but not to worry—a bunch of celebrities still got all dressed up and walked the red carpet so we could judge them on the internet the next day anyway. Here are the best and worst dressed of the night according to me, a person who still wears clothes I bought in 2005.

Best Dressed

Lily Collins mixed old Hollywood glam with a modern silhouette.

Her dramatic makeup is also to die for.

Aaron Eckhart looked timeless in a grey suit.

He is the human version of the "100" emoji.

Janelle Monáe's fashion risk paid off and she looked stunning in a tux jacket with a long train.

She stayed true to her offbeat style.

Kate Hudson rocked a draped black gown with pretty flower embellishments

The best gown slit since Angelina Jolie's at the 2012 Oscars.

Lenny Kravitz kept it simpler than normal with an all-black ensemble .

He still refuses to lose that damn scarf, though.

Naomie Harris dared to be different in a metallic pantsuit.

This easily could have gone very 'Tin Man,' but she pulled it off.

Worst Dressed

Bryce Dallas Howard looked like she was wearing censor bars.

NSFW?

Terry Moore looks like a member of the Red Hat Society gone rogue.

The black cowboy boots are definitely not helping.

Nicole Kidman looked like a Victorian ghost child.

She lives in your attic and just wants you to play with her.

Leslie Mann dressed as a tequila sunrise.

The silhouette looks great on her, though.

Anna Kendrick's dress looks like something you'd wear to a middle school dance, askew boob ruffle and all.

With an awkward pose, to boot.

Loretta Devine looked like a wizard from the future (in a bad way) in a metallic cape.

Is it hurting my eyes because it's shiny or just so ugly?

Single mom of 6 is facing jail time after participating in a Facebook group.

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Single mother of six, Mirza Reulas, is facing a year of jail time for selling an illegal substance after police set up a sting operation to catch her sharing her ceviche.

Facebook group "209 Food Spot" is a forum for people in the Stockton area to trade recipes and sometimes swap prepared food. Occasionally, people will buy a plate if they have no food to swap.

"Somebody would be like, 'Oh I don't have anything to trade you but I would love to buy a plate," Reulas told Fox.

That's what Reulas did last December 3rd, when she unknowingly sold a plate of her ceviche to an undercover cop from San Joaquin County. Now she is facing a year of jail time. It's an event straight out of Law & Order: Pot Luck Unit.

Police say they targeted the group because selling food without permits not only poses a safety risk, but also adversely affects food sellers who legally obtained permits. Reulas wasn't the only one arrested, but she is the only one facing jail time. All the others accepted a plea of 3 years probation, but she refused.

According to Reulas, the court battle has been hardest on her youngest son, a six-year-old ironically named Justice.

Article 20


This psychic goat has already called the election, but you should probably vote anyway.

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This freaking goat predicted Brexit, so now you're some sort of monster if you don't trust him to predict Tuesday's election. Okay.

Well, fans of the Democratic donkey, rejoice because the goat's on your side. Boots the "psychic goat" chewed on a sign that read Hillary Clinton (before immediately turning and chewing on the Donald Trump sign), so no need to hold an election.

This one's in the (feed) bag.

The goat also predicts sporting events, but if you ask me, he's a lot less impressive than Paul the Octopus. Although if he's wrong, he does provide a built-in scapegoat. Eh? Eh?

Nate Silver's been having a tough couple of days. First, he gets dragged through the dirt by the Huffington Post for his polling methods. Now, his expertise is being superseded by a goat.

Also, should they really be allowing this goat to eat paper like that? Just the latest example of a toxic election—WHEN WILL IT END?

So soon.

The 12 best celebrity PSAs to help you make up your mind about voting.

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Celebrities are fulfilling their sacred duties as public figures to use their powers for good: Imploring their fans to vote in the 2016, while demonstrating their political savvy and just how down they are to make jokes in the process.

These works of art—ranked by funniness, informativeness, and wow factor—just might inspire you to get out of bed on November 8th and do something (and that something is to vote).

12. "Sensual Pantsuit Anthem" — Lena Dunham

Funniness: 4

Informativeness: 6

Wow Factor: 6

Best moment: "No. Lena, no. Lena Dunham, nooooooooooo."

11. "Ham4Vote" — Lin-Manuel Miranda, Renée Elise Goldsberry, and the Broadway cast of Hamilton

Funniness: 3

Informativeness: 8

Wow Factor: 10 (How "America" can so seamlessly replace "Angelica")

Best moment: "You tweet and you snap and you gawk but if you don't show up to vote, it's all just talk."

10. "If Congress Was Your Co-Worker" — Chris Pine

Funniness: 8

Informativeness: 6

Wow Factor: 7 ("This frightens AND arouses me.")

Best moment: The entire Bob bit. Poor Bob.

9. "We Are America" — John Cena

Funniness: 3, but on purpose.

Informativeness: 10 (Cena knows his stats)

Wow Factor: 10 (Cena knows his stats!)

Best moment: "Remember: to love America is to love all Americans."

8. "Katy Perry Votes Naked"

Funniness: 6

Informativeness: 8 (She skimmed the Constitution, you guys.)

Wow Factor: 7

Best moment: Perry's delivery of "Covered in slime!"

7. "Hey New Hampshire, Let's Vote!" — Ben Affleck

Funniness: 8

Informativeness: 7

Wow Factor: 10 (It's nice to see the sanctimonious, sad Batfleck be silly again.)

Best moment: One word. "Cah."

6. "What Do You Care About?" —Leonardo DiCaprio,Julia Roberts, Emma Stone, Robert De Niro, Kendall Jenner, and more.

Funniness: 0 (But in their defense, it's not meant to be funny)

Informativeness: 10

Wow Factor: 10 (Donald Faison's powerful moment)

Best moment: Jonah Hill's new beard.

5. "Selina Meyer's Message to Millennials" — Julia Louis-Dreyfus & Tony Hale

Funniness: 9

Informativeness: 7

Wow Factor: 7 (It was too short to really wow.)

Best moment: "It was cold on Election Day."

4. "Weather with Keegan-Michael Key"

Funniness: 10

Informativeness: 8

Wow Factor: 10

Best moment: "It's not all bad news: The rise in both temperature and existential misery will be cooled by the nuclear winter coming from the southeast."

3. "Holy Sh*t (You've Got to Vote)" — Rachel Bloom & Friends

Funniness: 9

Informativeness: 9

Wow Factor: 10 (Patti LuPone! The harmonies!)

Best moment: "No one does Hitler like Hitler, but break up 'Mein Kampf' into tiny parts and reads like a Trump rant on Twitter."

2. "Get Out the Vote" — Beyoncé, Jay Z, Chance the Rapper, Big Sean, and J. Cole

Funniness: N/A

Informativeness: 10

Wow Factor: 10 ("Beyoncé" is French for "WOW Factor")

Best moment: “So many people fought for these rights. So many people lost their lives for us to have the opportunity to vote. I think we owe it to them—it's a major disservice if we don't go out and let our voice be heard."

1. "Save the Day.Vote"—The Avengers and everyone else.

Funniness: 9

Informativeness: 10

Wow Factor: 10 (As Julianne Moore says, "Just a sh*t ton of famous people.")

Best moment: "Yeah. Really."

Rihanna kisses child on the lips, sparks a hypochondriac Twitter meltdown.

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On Sunday, Instagram account theshaderoom shared a picture posted by one of Rihanna's relatives of the pop star kissing the girl named Majesty, whom she calls her "niece." The picture is really sweet, and it's racked up over 160,000 likes. But according to the comments, not everyone is into the picture.

Aunty #OhNaNa & her niece #Majesty 😍 #Rihanna #AuntyDuties #TSRSickPick

A photo posted by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on

Some commenters were really grossed out by the fact that Rihanna was kissing the girl on the mouth, even though she isn't the girl's mom. Many were also upset that Rihanna was going to pass germs or diseases on to the little girl. I, for one, did not know that kissing kids on the mouth was such a hot button issue.

These people are acting like RiRi was outside right before this licking a garbage can. Take it down a notch, commenters. Everything's going to be okay.

Solange brought her mom and sister to 'SNL' and Beyoncé almost didn't steal the show.

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If you have a sibling who steals the spotlight, just imagine how Solange Knowles feels. On Saturday night, the 30-year-old singer made her debut as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live (kind of a big deal) and her big sister, Beyoncé, and their mom, Tina Knowles-Lawson, showed up to support. To Bey's credit, she seems like she was doing her best to not steal the spotlight from her sister. And it kind of worked.

Tina even shared an adorable video on Instagram showing a very sheepish Solange being literally lifted up by her mom and big sis.

"I'm 30 years old!" Solange jokingly protests, as she is lifted in the air.

“She’s still our baby,” Knowles-Lawson captioned the post. “We have Been picking her up like this since she was 10 yrs old.”

Tina also shared a bunch of pics, proving she loves her daughters equally. Despite the fact that one of her children is Beyoncé.

Soo proud of my baby on SNL. Right now❤️

A photo posted by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on

My baby had her own chocolate bar at Saturday Night Live!

A photo posted by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on

Got that, guys? Don't feel bad for Solange. She got her own chocolate bar at Saturday Night Live, which is more attention than most of us will get in a lifetime.

Beyoncé may have kept a low profile during the show, but she and husband Jay-Z (heard of him?) did own the after party. They bumped into a mega-fan, one very star struck Leslie Jones, who documented her night with Bey and Jay on various social media platforms. As you do.

Yuuuuuuuuup!!

A photo posted by Leslie Jones (@lesdogggg) on

Also, Solange may be less famous than her sister, but she is clearly talented. The singer killed it in both SNL performances, singing two songs from her new chart-topping album, A Seat at The Table. You can watch here:

Yeah, Solange is doing just fine.

Science says accepting Facebook friend requests makes you less likely to die.

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Here's a reason to accept that Facebook friend request from that creepy-looking stranger! A new study published in the National Academy of Sciencesays that people who have strong networks on social media and receive a lot of friend requests are less likely to die.

The study's authors William Hobbs and James Fowler took data from 12 million Facebook users in California in 2011 and compared it to records from the California Department of Public Health in 2012 and 2013 to see how many died.

The authors found a link between the users' social media accounts and their physical health. “We find that Facebook users who accept more friendships have a lower risk of mortality, but there is no relationship for those who initiate more friendships,” they wrote. “Mortality risk is lowest for those with high levels of offline social interaction and moderate levels of online social interaction.”

While no specific reasoning was given for why accepting friend requests might help you live a healthier life, Hobbs thinks that people are more likely to stay friends in person when they have "moderate interactions" on Facebook. The researchers also noted that face-to-face social media interactions (like sharing a photo) had more of a benefit than just sending messages.

So if you've been sitting on friend requests from that creepy guy from your freshman year Psych class or your racist uncle or that girl from spin class who isn't kidding when she describes things as "so fetch," go ahead and accept them. They might help turn you into an immortal superhuman. Worth a shot, right?

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