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Some very mature person changed Trump Tower to 'Dump Tower' on Google Maps.

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Some prankster, presumably not thrilled with the election of Donald Trump to the highest office in the land, has been toying with the names of the president-elect's New York properties on Google Maps. First up, they changed Trump Tower to the less alliterative but more evocative "Dump Tower."

Google didn't get around to fixing that for a few hours, and in the meantime, people noticed that Trump International Hotel had also been renamed as—you guessed it—Dump International Hotel.

Finally, "Trump Tower" was tweaked to appear in Russian translation, a nod to the nation's apparent interest in elevating Trump to power.

It's unclear whether this was all the work of one individual, a concerted effort by several, or just a free-for-all amid bored hackers. And while it's almost certainly not the work of Google itself, that didn't stop a few Trump voters from lashing out at the tech giant for apparent bias. Others simply condemned the media outlets reporting the story.

With the next four years shaping up to be the worst of our lives, you really gotta appreciate the little things, right?


Man causes ultimate disaster when he tries to prove to his wife that aiming your pee is harder than it sounds.

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The age-old debate over men's pee aim in the bathroom has been with us so long precisely because it's impossible for dudes to impart the challenges of getting your golden arc to end in the toilet bowl. But one guy was determined to prove to his wife that she doesn't have what it takes to handle piss trajectory, and for that he paid the ultimate price.

Reddit user Rabid_Grasshopper explained that it all began when his kids were away at sleepovers , which meant that he and his wife could enjoy a nice steak dinner alone together. One of the sides he made was asparagus, which, in a story about pee, you know will come back to haunt him. Then the fateful argument began, and, well...

Sometime during dinner conversation, we end up taking about urinating practices. She states men are gross and pee everywhere. My rebuttal is that it's not as easy as she thinks.

Fast forward to the morning. I challenge her to try to get all the pee into the bowl, without any splatter. Challenge accepted.

So there we are. Myself standing at the toilet, wife holding my junk aiming. I can't let her win.

I start slow, using some kegal action to control the flow. She's getting the hang of this, so I up the flow a little to throw her off her game. At this point the asparagus pee odor reaches her face and she doesn't want to do this anymore.

This is where the fuck up starts. Up to this point she has been doing very well. I am losing and that can't happen. As Deadpool would say I chanted in my head "MAXIMUM EFFORT". I squeeze my cheeks, close my eyes and kegal the crap out of my bladder.

I can hear that the stream is no longer hitting water. Her first reaction is to turn off the flow manually. Squeezing and bending is her technique. I open my eyes in pain and try to step back. She counters by trying to get a better grip with her free hand.

At this point things are happening in slow motion. Fear has set in, I try to dodge the income hand, but get tripped up by my boxers wrapped around my ankles. The hand is coming and I'm losing balance. I shifted just enough that she would miss, but take a direct hit to the coin purse.

I'm falling back as she releases the death grip. Ending up in the tub with my legs in the air. The built up pressure is released, spraying myself in the face.

TL;DR

Tried to win a childish argument. Ended up slightly concussed, Bangkoked and waterboarding myself with asparagus pee.

If I may be so bold as to offer a word of advice? Sitting down to pee—even if you have a penis—is always an option.

Donald Trump now thinks he won the popular vote, too—and that 'millions' voted illegally.

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Taking some time off from appointing more Nazis to his cabinet, refusing to resolve his business-related conflicts of interest, and generally ruining every morning for people who wake up in the timeline where he won the election, President-elect Donald Trump today claimed he had also won the popular vote.

Which he didn't.

Even for Trump, the lie that Hillary Clinton doesn't have a 2-million-plus edge in the popular vote count is a heck of a whopper, especially given that he's blaming "millions of people who voted illegally"—a sweeping, dangerous accusation backed up by exactly zero evidence. Unless you count tweets from some rando who claims to be a voting data analyst to push his dumb conspiracy theories.

Snopes has debunked this claim, which has been circulating the right-wing internet, pointing out that Phillips has never produced his methodology or indeed explained how he could "verify" votes in any meaningful way, and that he was previously quoted by fringe publications as arguing that Obamacare was a cover for voter fraud. The 3 million figure, they write, "may just as well have been plucked out of thin air." It's also been around for at least two weeks, so not only is Trump trolling us, he's peddling fairly out-of-date nonsense.

And why continue making the utterly spurious case that the election was rigged against him, given that he's headed to the White House? That's simple: The GOP's voter suppression game helped him win, and conservatives want any excuse to redouble their efforts on that front in the years ahead. It hardly matters if "illegal" ballots aren't a thing, as long as it's a prextext on which they can pass bogus laws that keep actual citizens from letting their voices be heard. Sad!

'American Horror Story' couple Emma Roberts and Evan Peters may be engaged. Again.

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Emma Roberts and Evan Peters may be engaged again. Let's see if this one sticks.

The two American Horror Storycast mates have been on-again, off-again since they first becoming an item in 2012. Now it looks like Roberts and Peters are back on the upswing after Emma uploaded this picture of her headed to Thanksgiving dinner with a bottle of wine and a ring on her finger. She also tagged her alleged fiancé in the photo.

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🍁📸: @booboodaddy

A photo posted by Emma Roberts (@emmaroberts) on

The couple spent the holiday weekend together in Provincetown, Massachusetts, where they were spotted kissing all over town.

A source told US Weeklythat all of the couple's American Horror Story coworkers already know the happy news. "Emma and Evan are engaged again," reveals the source. "She’s been wearing her ring on set. Everyone on set knows."

They sound thrilled.

Back in 2013, Emma Roberts was arrested after bloodying up Peters' nose in a Montreal hotel room. Later that year, the couple initially got engaged. They broke up in 2015, got back together, and then broke up again this past spring. Maybe they will be able to make it work this time, but if their track record is any indication, this couple will be split by Christmas.

Twitter appropriately outraged after holocaust-themed figure skating routine on Russian TV.

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A Russian reality show has met with outrage after a "staggeringly offensive" performance featured two figure skaters doing their best pirouettes while dressed in concentration camp uniforms.

The reality show that featured the performance, Ice Age, has been described as "basically Dancing with the Stars on ice," but apparently with less (absolutely zero) input from anyone with a brain at whatever acts as the Russian version of Standards and Practices.

No.

As with Dancing with the Stars, the performers in Ice Age are celebrities. In this case, one of the skaters happens to be Olympic skating gold medalist Tatiana Navka. Complicating matters, she's the wife of Russian President Vladimir Putin's chief spokesman, Dmitry Peskov.

Navka took to Instagram to defend herself, saying: "Based on one of my favorite movies, 'Life is beautiful!' Show this movie to your children... Our children need to know and remember that terrible time, which I hope, God willing, they will never know."

The children absolutely need to learn about the holocaust, but probably not like this. It's tough to convey the seriousness of anything "on ice."

Things that work on ice: "Lion King," "Reptar," "champagne."

The fact that "holocaust on ice" should not exist, ever, just seems like a given.

Get into the Christmas spirit with this Wes Anderson-directed ad for H&M.

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All right, Thanksgiving's over, you are now required by law to get ready for the rest of the holiday season. To get you started, Wes Anderson, director of Moonrise Kingdom and The Royal Tenenbaums, has directed a Christmas commercial for H&M. The ad, called "Come Together," stars Adrien Brody as a Conductor Ralph, who brings Christmas to a moving train when a delay of 11 and a half hours means passengers will miss Christmas at home.

The ad features the John Lennon song "So This Is Christmas" and all the whimsy you'd expect from Anderson, who has directed a lot of commercials in addition to his movies, including one for Stella Artois and Hyundai. So get to shopping, people. Or the kid in the commercial dies. KIDDING. This kid will never die, as long as the spirit of Christmas lives on.

Kim Kardashian refuses to leaves Kanye West's bedside as he recovers in the hospital.

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It's been a rough few months for the Kim Kardashian and her husband Kanye West. First Kim was robbed at her hotel in Paris, and now Kanye has been hospitalized for exhaustion, after canceling the remainder of his Saint Pablo tour. Kim is standing by her man throughout his ordeal…and sleeping and eating by him, too, according toUs Weekly.

An insider told Us Weekly, "Kim has been amazing. She knew he couldn't keep going the way he was. She has been by his side through all of this, helping to feed him and laying by his side."

Kardashian spent Thanksgiving with her husband in his Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center room, only leaving to see their two children, daughter North, 3, and son Saint, 11 months. The source told Us,

"Kim wouldn't leave his side except to see the kids. She's been at the hospital all the time. Kim has been keeping a very close watch on him and not letting people disturb him. All kinds of people have called and sent flowers, but she's being very careful about not letting him get wound up and making sure he rests and recovers."

Tom Hanks reenacted a classic line from 'Forrest Gump' and the crowd ate it up.

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It's been 22 years since Forrest Gump came out, but it would seem that Tom Hanks still cannot "run" from talking about one of cinema's most iconic movies.

Get it? Get it? Do you get it?

Hanks recently appeared on the Graham Norton show alongside Olympic runner Mo Farah, so it only seemed fitting that the conversation shifted to talking about Hanks' running-obsessed character, Forrest Gump. At the request of Norton, Hanks even reenacted one of the film's most iconic lines—with the help of a cue card, of course.

It might be time to revisit Forrest Gump if you haven't seen it in a while. Not only is it a great movie, but you will get to check out Hanks' butt that was as firm as "tinned hams."

Damn. That man and his buttocks are national treasures.


Tabloid claims an alleged Rose McGowan sex tape has leaked.

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A sex tape allegedly featuring former Charmed star Rose McGowan has been leaked online, according to UK tabloid The Mirror. The two-minute-and-twenty-second-long tape is said to feature "a woman who appears to be Rose wearing a woolly hat" engaging in X-rated sex acts with an unidentified man.

In October, after the now infamous AccessHollywood tape of Donald Trump saying he "grab[bed] women" by their "puss[ies]" was leaked online, McGowan took to Twitter to share her own sexual assault. Using the hashtag #WhyWomenDontReport, McGowan related her own experience with assault, saying, "It is time for some goddamned honesty in this world."

One of her tweets referenced a "movie" she made with her ex, but it's not clear if the sex tape that has allegedly leaked is that movie, or if the woman in the clip is actually McGowan.

The 43-year-old actor and activist has not yet commented on the tape. On November 24, however, she "I do not believe in shame."

It should go without saying that selling or leaking a sex tape without someone's consent is revenge porn and it's unethical and illegal in a majority of states. If it is Rose McGowan in the tape, we hope that whoever is spreading it will be caught and prosecuted.

Spent.

This Muslim teen just made beauty pageant history.

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19-year-old Halima Aden made history over the weekend when she became the first contestant to ever wear a burkini and a hijab while competing in the swimsuit portion of the Miss Minnesota USA semifinal.

Aden is Somali-American and Muslim. She was born in a refugee camp in Kenya and moved to Minnesota as a small child. Ahead of the pageant, she said she hoped it would help clear up misconceptions people might have about her religious and cultural beliefs.

"This pageant is so much more than just beauty. Their whole message is being confidently beautiful, so I didn't think that I should allow my hijab to get into the way of me participating," Aden told MPR. "This is a great platform to show the world who I am ... just because I've never seen a woman wearing a burkini (in a pageant) it doesn't mean that I don't have to be the first."

Aden also told The Huffington Postthat she hoped her competing in the pageant could be an inspiration to Muslim and Somali girls.

“Not seeing women that look like you in media in general and especially in beauty competitions sends the message that you’re not beautiful or you have to change the way you look to be considered beautiful,” she said. “And that’s not true.”

"Be You" was what my aunt always told me. And tonight I finally realized what she meant. This has been such a fun...

Posted by Halima Aden on Sunday, November 27, 2016

Unfortunately, Aden did not advance to the final of the Miss Minnesota competition. But, hey. Like the announcer said, the girl made history. I'd say that's still a win.

Hipster nativity scene turns Bethlehem into Brooklyn for the 2016 birth of baby Jesus.

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Just in case you haven't been bombarded with music and shopping lists yet, Christmas is coming, and the Modern Nativity Scene is putting a modern spin on the birth of "baby J." Featuring selfies, Segways, and man buns, they really nail it (sorry!). There was probably no room for Joseph and Mary at the Airbnb, and Lord knows how the Internet would have torn Mary's pregnancy apart.

1. Mary and Joseph take a selfie with baby Jesus, who probably has his own Instagram already.

The original family Christmas photo with Mary, Joseph, and Jesus. #manbun #duckface #modernnativity

A photo posted by Modern Nativity (@modernnativity) on

2. The three wise men and their mustaches roll up with a Prime delivery of their own.

The three hipster wisemen on their segways with Amazon packages. #hipsters #segways #modernnativity

A photo posted by Modern Nativity (@modernnativity) on

3. The shepherd and his free-range animals.

Shepherd and his animals. #100%organic #glutenfree #christmassweater #modernnativity

A photo posted by Modern Nativity (@modernnativity) on

4. The shepherd signs for the package by the stable's solar-powered roof.

Shepherd signing the Amazon delivery for baby J!

A photo posted by Modern Nativity (@modernnativity) on

5. Here's the gang all together.

The birth of Jesus reimagined in 2016. The complete Hipster Nativity Set #modernnativity

A photo posted by Modern Nativity (@modernnativity) on

Take in the full view.

5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. Kylie Jenner, because she's being sued for stealing a makeup artist's schtick.

People are also mad at her for the do-rag, but that's unrelated.

Human brand Kylie Jenner has been pulling out all the stops lately to promote her cosmetics line, blasting her 80 million Instagram followers with ad after ad for lip kits and other celebutante-endorsed beauty products. But LA makeup artist Vlada Haggerty is hopping mad at Jenner for one of those ads, which clearly copied a design from one of Haggerty's own Instagram posts. Just look at this comparison posted by Haggerty herself.

Haggerty's caption reads:

Really @kyliecosmetics?
Haven't you gotten enough 'inspiration' from me already?
Left is a the work @juliakuzmenko,@brittrafuson and I shot a few months ago and right is @kyliecosmetics new campaign.

And she isn't content just to put Jenner on notice. TMZ reports that Haggerty and her photographer are threatening to sue Jenner for copyright infringement. But it might be an empty threat—concepts like this photo aren't protected by copyright. Haggerty may never find the justice she deserves.

Also, Jenner has the money and power to crush anyone who tries to take her down. That's what happened to Castro (unconfirmed).


4. Jay Z, because Tidal got slammed for milk-shaming.

He's thinking, "Please don't tell my wife."

Jay Z's streaming music service Tidal hasn't worked out as well as he hoped. Despite its lossless audio streaming and musician-friendly business model, it's failed to topple the iTunes/Spotify/Pandora cartel. What's more, the artists it supposedly protected have come out to criticize the service for shady practices. All in all, Tidal has brought Jay Z nothing but 99 problems, and thanks to one former employee and her baby, that number is now an even 100.

TMZ reports that an erstwhile Tidal worker named Lisette Paulson is suing the company after she was terminated in 2015 for requesting a private room to breast pump in. According to her lawsuit, Paulson was fired by Tidal exec Desiree Perez (one of Jay Z's closest associates) the day after she asked for the room. A frustrated Perez told Paulson to just pump in the bathroom (gross), then balked at the idea of giving up an office just so a baby could eat. She told Paulson they would have a meeting the next day to discuss it, but then changed her mind and just canned her instead.

Now, Paulson is suing for sex and pregnancy discrimination. But a lawsuit might be unnecessary. I'm sure once Beyoncé finds out about this outrage, she'll set Jay straight.


3. Anthony Michael Hall, because he could go to jail for attacking his neighbor (and this is the best press he's had in years).

This is Anthony Michael Hall. Remember him?

Don't spend too long thinking about it.

This is Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club. Remember him now?

Oh yeah, that kid! Hall and his delightful mop of blonde hair charmed an entire generation in the 80s, appearing in hit after hit like The Breakfast Club, National Lampoon's Vacation, and Weird Science. But that was a long time ago. In 2016, a white-haired Hall is heading for a new role—as an inmate.

In September, Hall got into an altercation with his neighbor in Playa del Rey, California. The incident ended with Hall shoving the other man to the ground, breaking his wrist and injuring his back in the process. The whole dustup was caught on surveillance video.

What's worse for Hall, it seems like his celebrity status won't help him out of this one. The L.A. County D.A. has charged him with felony battery with serious bodily injury. The charge carries a seven-year maximum sentence.

At least he has experience dealing with detention.


2. A fugitive who hid in a pond and told the cops he was "just fishing."

Deputies responded Saturday to an attempted robbery at a Family Dollar store in Deltona, Florida. A man with "Loyalty" tattooed across his abdomen entered the store, claimed to have a gun and demanded money, but the clerk told him to get lost and he ran off. (Note: do not f**k with Family Dollar clerks.)

Because this crook was clearly a criminal mastermind, authorities dispatched a helicopter to track him down. That's when they spotted this slightly suspicious figure in a nearby pond:

Cops descended on the mysterious pond man and apprehended him. 29-year-old Sean Torres fit the description of the culprit's tattoos, and his excuse that he was "just fishing" and had dropped his pole in the water didn't manage to bamboozle the cops.

When they questioned him about the robbery, he outdid himself by responding, "The guy who did it went that way." Ah, the old O.J. defense.

Torres was taken into custody and charged with robbery and criminal mischief. But at least he's dry.


1. A guy who was arrested for disguising $330,000 worth of weed as Christmas presents.

Ohio state troopers pulled over a California man in Wood County on November 21 for following another vehicle too closely. While speaking to 31-year-old Daniel A. Yates, they got a suspicious vibe from him, so they decided to search his Ford Expedition with a drug-sniffing dog. And when they got to the trunk, that dog went nuts.

Maybe the dog just loves the holidays?

What set the dog off were ten festively-wrapped Christmas presents. Taking a chance that they might ruin Christmas for Yates's kids, the cops unwrapped the gifts. Inside, they found 71 pounds of marijuana, 360 THC pills, and a pound of hash wax oil.

Talk about a Merry Christmas.

Yates was charged with possession and trafficking of drugs, and could face a 16-year prison sentence. A cruel fate for a man whose only crime was giving the one Christmas present that would never be re-gifted.

Japanese theme park somehow 'shocked' at horrified reaction to their frozen fish ice rink.

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In what is somehow today's second "bad ice skating" story, a Japanese theme park called Space World apologized for freezing 5,000 fish into the floor of its ice rink.

"Sick in the head, why would you do that?" wrote one outraged commenter on Facebook, before all posts about the attraction were removed. "Hope your business get shut down."

According to CNN, the park bragged of the feat as a "world first." They also posted photos of the fish in ice with such clever captions as: "I am d... d... drowning, s... s... suffocating."

Talking animals—not always adorable.

After the predictable backlash on Facebook and other social media, Space World manager Toshimi Takeda told CNN:

We were shocked to hear the reaction as the ice skate rink was very popular since it opened two weeks ago, we had an unprecedented number of visitors.

(But) we had endless opinions about the project, we were shocked ... We are sorry for the project and decided to close the rink on that night.

Worth noting is that Space World says they purchased the fish already deceased from a local market. They now plan to use them as fertilizer after an "appropriate religious service."

Some of the fish were arranged in a fun greeting for tourists.

At this point, a religious service for the fish seems particularly farcical. One second you're skating on their graves, the next you're giving them a state funeral.

Ah, the good people of Space World. They should invest in some black cowboy hats and reopen with a whole new shtick.

Surprise! Trump is considering a Fox News talking head to be his press secretary.

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President-elect Donald Trump is assembling his Cabinet of Deplorables, "draining the swamp" by picking an Attorney General deemed too racist to be a federal judge and an Education Secretary who campaigned against public schools.

The latest slot rumored to be filled is that of Press Secretary, aka Spinner-in-Chief, aka C.J. Cregg. The lucky candidate is none other than Fox News talking head Monica Crowley.

She was an early boarder to the Trump Train, who is rumored to have told Fox News not to underestimate The Donald.

Crowley's claims include winning Salon.com's prestigious "Bullsh**ter of the Day" Award for a nonsensical tweet about walls, taking inspiration for Trump's policy from the Berlin Wall. As we know, Ronald Reagan just loved the Berlin Wall so much.

According to PJ Media, other finalists in this reality show include "Republican National Committee chief strategist Sean Spicer, Trump communications advisor Jason Miller, conservative radio host Laura Ingraham and Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway."


This Nike outlet store barely survived Black Friday.

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Okay, Black Friday sales are known to get a bit nuts, but the one at the Nike factory store at the Seattle Premium Outlets in Tulalip, WA looks like a herd of buffalo trampled it. Well, buffalo looking for good deals on sneakers. Pictures and video of the store are going viral for the sheer madness of the mess.

Larry Downer, the man who posted the above video to Facebook, told Q13 News that it looked "like an earthquake leveled the place." He added, "It’s a huge store and it seems like every inch of the floor was covered in merchandise." Downer did manage to snag a pair of kicks for his son, though, explaining, "Literally found one of the shoes in one aisle and the match to it in the next aisle."

Downer was not exaggerating. The store was open to shoppers all night Thursday and all day Friday, with shoppers wading through piles of sneakers like they were just trudging through unshoveled snow.

It's like a zombie apocalypse. I feel bad for the people who need to clean this up. #BlackFriday #NikeOutletStore

A photo posted by Wannie Rodriguez (@wanniemation) on

A member of the staff told BuzzFeed News that between 8 p.m. Thursday and 10 p.m. Friday, an estimated 20,000 people came through the store. Humans, not buffalo. Happy holidays, everyone! Be safe out there.

The Obamas are going to move very, very far away from Washington D.C.

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According to Harper Bazaar, the Obamas just bought a house on the opposite side of the country. What could they possibly be trying to get away from?

Who knows.

The first family reportedly purchased a home in Rancho Mirage, a city located just outside Palm Springs, California. Rancho Mirage also is home to Sunnylands, a popular vacation spot that has hosted politicians from Margaret Thatcher, to Ronald Reagan, to the Shah of Iran.

As if being on the opposite side of the continental United States was not enough, the Obamas also allegedly purchased a vacation home in Barack's home state of Hawaii, a mere 13+ hour plane ride away from D.C.

Better stock up on sunscreen and shades.

However, the move won't be right away. The Obamas are planning on staying in Washington D.C. until Sasha, age 15, graduates high school. Malia is following in her mother and father's footsteps and will attend Harvard in the Fall of 2017.

Warmer climates will probably be welcomed by Michelle and Barack Obama, who lived in blustery Chicago for many years before moving to the nation's capitol. Perhaps they are trying to escape those notoriously brutal winters, or maybe they are trying to get away from that other particularly brutal thing that is headed for D.C. Either way:

Writer tweets astonishing story of how he wrote his way out of homelessness and became an author.

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Craig Stone has since had his work shortlisted for the prestigious Dundee International Book Prize, but at 30-years-old he washomeless, living in a park, and clutching his notebook for dear life.

Just before Thanksgiving, Stone shared his story in a series of tweets that seem like an appropriate addendum to a holiday that's meant to reflect gratitude.

Let's hear it? Okay fine, maybe later.

Note: Stone's lauded second novel, The Squirrel That Dreamt of Madness, is about a man who "quits his job, becomes homeless and sleeps in the park."

Stone's doing much better now—and if you're inspired by his story, you should definitely check out the rest of his Twitter (and maybe even his novel), which is as silly as his story is moving.

Read the 23 best Cyber Monday tweets and give your credit card a break.

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Cyber Monday, Black Friday for people wise enough not to leave their homes, is currently giving people more of a reason not to work at work. While you're strolling through sites to get your loved ones the socks they've always wanted, give your credit card a break to read the holiday's best tweets.

http://www.someecards.com/christmas-cards/cyber-monday-spend-money-workplace-funny-ecard

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