Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

The only thing touching my lips at midnight is a wine glass.


May your post-holiday depression help your New Year's resolution diet.

I let my coworkers know when I'm depressed by silently eating cake for breakfast.

Trey Songz arrested after fans catch his concert meltdown on video.

$
0
0

Trey Songz was arrested in Detroit on Wednesday after going ballistic when his mic was cut after he ran over his allotted time slot during a concert.

According to TMZ, The R&B singer didn't take too kindly to a tech telling him to wrap up his set at the Joe Louis Arena, and threatened to cut his mic if he did. Songz retaliated by promising to go "the f*ck crazy" if the sound was cut. Long story short, it was and he did. I guess you can't say he didn't warn us?

A shirtless Songz proceeded to chuck and destroy the stage equipment, which you can see a little of in the video below. Maybe a man who ends his stage name in a 'Z' is not as mature as we thought?

Detroit police officers reportedly rushed the stage to subdue Trey Songz, but after the singer concussed a Sergeant by throwing a microphone at his head, he was arrested for resisting arrest and malicious destruction of property.

Celebrities react to Debbie Reynolds' death.

$
0
0

Debbie Reynolds passed away on Wednesday, just one day after the death of her daughter, Carrie Fisher. Reynolds, renowned for her 1950s roles in Singing in the Rain and Tammy and the Bachelor, was reportedly rushed to the hospital Wednesday afternoon after a stroke.

"She's now with Carrie, and we're all heartbroken," said her son, Todd Fisher.

Celebrities took to social media to mourn Ms. Reynolds, who just a day before had thanked her daughter's fans for their outpouring of support.

Thank you to everyone who has embraced the gifts and talents of my beloved and amazing daughter. I am grateful for your thoughts and prayers that are now guiding her to her next stop. Love Carries Mother

Posted by Debbie Reynolds on Tuesday, December 27, 2016

1. Ellen DeGeneres

2. William Shatner

3. Ariana Grande

4. Antonio Banderas

5. Kimberly J. Brown

6. Madonna

7. Joan Collins

8. Al Roker

9. Marlee Matlin

10. Albert Brooks

11. Debra Messing

Pink casually Instagrams pictures of her new baby to let us all know she gave birth.

$
0
0

It's a boy! Pink and husband Carey Hart welcomed their son on December 26th, making his birth a day-after-Christmas miracle. According to the singer's Instagram, they named their second child Jameson Moon Hart. Yeah, he is basically destined to be a badass like his Ma and Pop.

Jameson Moon Hart 12.26.16

A photo posted by P!NK (@pink) on

LOOK AT THAT FACE! So smushy, so cute!

Pink also uploaded this picture of her retired motorcycle racer-husband Carey Hart beaming as he cradles their new bundle of joy. Aw, little Jameson doesn't even know that he has really cool parents yet!

I love my baby daddy 💙

A photo posted by P!NK (@pink) on

Jameson is baby brother to Pink and Hart's 5-year-old daughter, Willow Sage, who recently dyed her hair very specific color. Take one guess.

Someone is VERY excited about her hair this morning lol.

A photo posted by Carey Hart (@hartluck) on

Anonymous parking lot avenger wreaks justice on terrible driver in Walmart parking lot.

$
0
0

In some brutal parking lot vengeance so petty it already made it to The Today Show, a Walmart shopper in Maine learned to never take up two spots.

This guy got a lesson in parking Hahah biddo walmart

Posted by Matthew Mills on Sunday, December 18, 2016

Ah, the audacity. The justice. How beautiful. A superhero for the modern era.

Try this if you ever feel like you don't have to time to find another parking spot, but definitely have enough time to construct an elaborate prank.

Sweet street justice.

Comedian gets stuck on plane with pantless passenger, live tweets the whole thing.

$
0
0

Flying can really be a nightmare, but you will never complain about the monotonies of air travel ever again after hearing about this passenger who decided to travel in his underwear. Comedian Kumail Nanjiani, who plays Dinesh on HBO's Silicon Valley, was stuck sitting beside a dude who took off his pants for the long journey, and he live-tweeted every step of the harrowing and confusing experience.

Wait, is that a wedding ring?! Yep, this guy who thinks it is acceptable to subject people to his pasty thighs found a partner. What's your excuse?

Nanjiani also clarified that the flight was on the long side (5.5 hours), but this monster took off his pants within the first 20 minutes. He also said that he and the exhibitionist were seated in the very front of the airplane, so those entering the cabin were greeted by this "defiant fleshy V" right off the bat.

About 4-hours into the flight, Nanjiani tweeted that a flight attendant finally said something to the man. However, it was NOT ABOUT PUTTING PANTS ON. WHAT!?!?

Still, this rebel without a cause (truly, no cause at all) couldn't be tamed.

Oh, and just in case you had any doubts as to if the guy who literally sat around for over 5 hours subjecting passengers to looking at his unmentionables was a bad dude, he also did this shit.

Nanjiani also added that the half-naked passenger had a USB charger that made multicolored disco lights swirl around the cabin. Is this a Sacha Baron Cohen character or a real person?

However, he did drop some very heavy handed hints about the content of his character prior to boarding. Like, reeeeaaallllllyyyy heavy handed.

Well, you can't say he didn't warn you.

Finally, this mystery man put his clothes back on at the very last second before landing.

Look, I get it. You want to be comfy on a long plane ride, especially if you splurged for first class (which it looks like this guy did). However, that is what sweatpants are for. No one wants to see your naked thighs, sir.

Chilling.

On the other hand, think how fast we would all get through security​ if we didn't wear pants.


Woman is best friends with a family of raccoons, making her a real-life Disney princess in our book.

$
0
0

Like Cinderella's mouse friends and the woodland creatures Snow White hangs out with, Kaylah Lynn has a special bond with a family of animals.

Lynn messaged her friend Naomi about her other friends, a family of raccoons, and their nightly visits.

The family are reliable visitors, sometimes coming even multiple times a night.

Lynn feeds the raccoons and even gave them names. This one is Rosemary.

The family of five arrive at 7:30, without fail.

Twitter is inspired by this special bond.

Who knew raccoons could be so cute when they're not in your garbage can?

Guy caught on kiss cam blows off girlfriend to make out with his true love.

$
0
0

One brave soul risked his relationship to create an unforgettable jumbotron moment for a stadium full of hockey fans. The man in question was supporting Slovakia at the World Junior Championships when the kiss cam singled out him and his girlfriend. Without missing a beat, he ignored her and pulled off a bit of physical comedy that any hockey lover would relate to.

Damn, that's cold (and frosty). But what do you expect from a guy drinking beer at a kids' hockey game?

Bristol Palin calls all musicians who refuse to perform at the inauguration "sissies" in her latest blog post.

$
0
0

If you didn't know that Bristol Palin is a blogger, buckle up because you're in for a treat. The daughter of former Alaska governor, Sarah Palin, has written some gems for the religion-focused blog Patheos, like a recent post where she slams Salon for discussing the positive effects of talking about abortion in TV and film. Her latest subject? All of the "sissies" who are refusing to perform at Donald Trump's inauguration.

In a post titled 11 A-list artists that refused to perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration​, Palin describes those who have said "no thanks" to Trump's invite as "mega-celebrities, who would normally drool over an invitation to sing for the president," who now, "want no part of it." And she just can't wrap her head around why that would be.

"Isn’t it amazing how 'not cool' it is to be conservative in the public eye?" Palin writes. If Trump was just conservative, I think people would be a lot less terrified about the future of our country. Rather, it's the fact that he has so thoroughly threatened so many groups of people living in the U.S. by doing things like threaten to make a Muslim registry, joke about sexual assault, and condone white supremacy, to name a few. Being conservative is the least of these performers' worries. I wish we could go back to the days when our elections included one candidate who was a bit more fiscally and socially conservative than another, versus having a candidate with no political background who has been compared to Hitler go up against someone considered the most qualified person to run. Those were the days.

Palin finds it impossible to believe that none of the pop stars who were asked to to perform aren't secretly conservative: "we have so many sissies we have in the spot light too scared to stand for what they believe in!" While it's difficult to follow her sentence construction, what she seems to be saying is that there are some performers out there who secretly align with Trump's "conservative" values, but are afraid to admit it. She also uses a pejorative term, "sissies" to make her point, which is homophobic and generally demonstrates a narrow understanding of gender.

In the post, Palin goes on to call out specific performers who have been allegedly asked to perform and declined. She calls out Garth Brooks saying, "Brooks and his wife, fellow country legend Trisha Yearwood, had no problem singing for President Obama at this year’s Christmas tree lighting celebration." Clearly, Palin doesn't see a difference between performing for Obama versus performing for Trump. It's not that they're afraid to perform at political events, Bristol! It's that they don't want to support someone who might start World War III with a tweet.

Ultimately, Palin uses the sales and success of the one singer who is currently locked in to perform, former America's Got Talent contestant Jackie Evancho, to make her point. What she doesn't point out is that the success of Evancho's Christmas album, "Someday at Christmas," could also have simply lined up with the 2016 holiday season (versus being a result of her saying "yes" to the inauguration performance). As we all know, correlation doesn't imply causation.

Palin describes her beat in her Patheos bio as, "I am Pro Life, Pro God, and Pro Guns. I enjoy using this blog as a platform to talk about issues that are near and dear to my heart." Well I guess writing weak burns of Elton John's outfits is an issue near and dear to Palin's heart. Keep nailing that beat and honing your craft, Palin. Blogging is a marathon, not a sprint.

Guy complains his kid's Hatchimal says some freaky NSFW stuff after it falls asleep.

$
0
0

Hatchimals are supposed to be cute little baby animal-things, that you spend hours coaxing out of their literal shells before taking care of them like a Tamagotchi pet turned puppy dog. They're just plain cute.

"I'm pretty sure it says 'fuck me.'"

Or there's that, counters one unsatisfied customer, Nick Galego, who shared a video with CTV Vancouver of his son's Hatchimal talking dirty. Here's a video that apparently found itself trending on YouTube, of someone else's Hatchimal having the same problem in its sleep:

Commenters have pointed out that the little snoring thing could be saying "hug me." A spokesman for the toy company, Spin Master, vehemently denies they say anything inappropriate.

"Hatchimals speak their own language made up of random sounds," Anne Yourt said in a statement to CTV Vancouver, commenting on Galego's video. "We can assure you that the Hatchimal is not saying anything inappropriate. The one in the video appears to be sleeping."

Hatchimals are this year's it-toy, the sexy new plaything that had customers waiting in line for hours and hours in hopes they could grab one and gift it to their kids over the holidays.

In many cases, stores sold out of these little devil birds before Thanksgiving. They cost between $50 and $60, which seems like a lot, but sounds like a downright bargain when you consider they're reselling on eBay for hundreds.

Which brings us to the inevitable outrage when the toys don't work like they're supposed to.

Besides maybe saying "f*** me," Hatchimals have also reportedly refused to hatch, and sometimes learned how to speak South Park. Besides their ingrained imaginary language, you can teach these things to say whatever you want—and hopefully the "f*** me" incident isn't the fault of a mischievous tutor.

Either way, the Galegos are keeping their Hatchimal, despite the fact that they think it might be getting freaky after-hours. "If [our son] was a little bit older we might be more offended about it," said Sarah Galego, but as it is, he doesn't even know what it's saying.

Pretty chill of the parents, but it might be monetarily worth it to get a little more offended. Again, these things are eBay gold.

Take one guess who Tyga wants in his threesome with Kylie Jenner.

$
0
0

Today in Dubiously Sourced but Depressingly Believable Celebrity News, Radar Online reports that rapper Tyga (much better known as Kylie Jenner's boyfriend) has been hatching a scheme to get his 19-year-old girlfriend into a threesome. And it seems like she would be on board, based on her Snapchat.

But according to the "insider" source, Tyga has his heart set on a specific third party for this ménage à trois, and it might make Kylie think twice for the first time in her life. The source told Radar:

He’s always had this dream of sleeping with Kendall and Kylie together. She dismissed it as a joke but he’s dead serious.

That's right—Tyga wants to get nasty (nastier) with Kylie and her sister, Kendall Jenner.

The source continued:

Tyga’s seriously X-rated and he’s worked a real spell on Kylie.

I guess that's what happens when you start dating someone when you're 25 and she's 17. Asked whether this unholy threesome will ever come to pass, the source said:

She indulges him with a lot of dirty stuff, but it remains to be seen if she’ll go for this, let alone Kendall!

Irreplaceable 🐯

A photo posted by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on

@kyliejenner

A photo posted by Kendall (@kendalljenner) on

We'll keep you abreast of any further developments. Until then, just try to breathe.

Chinese city trolls Trump by turning him into a giant rooster.

$
0
0

Donald Trump's campaign yelling included lots of stuff about being respected and feared in the world, and it's certainly working in GynaChina.

A mall in the nothern Chinese city of Taiyuan is ringing in the Year of the Rooster with a 23 feet tall fowl who resembles a certain foul President-elect.

Who you calling a chicken?

It even has it's own red power tie.

Don't just stand there and bock.

With unmistakable golden hair, angry glare and familiar gestures, Chicken Trump is a hit, with people paying up to $1,739 for their own replicas, becoming a top selfie destination.

The statue was commissioned by the N1 ArtWalkMall, and will now serve as its official mascot, assuring that Trump always has a towering presence in China.

China has a thing for flipping Trump the bird by comparing him to birds, as covered by the Communist Party's official newspaper.

Trump has surprisingly yet to tweet about his rooster doppelgänger, but when he does, he'll probably be calm, measured, and with a sense of humor.

Rob Kardashian rushed to the hospital for a medical scare with Blac Chyna by his side.

$
0
0

2016 has been hard on all of us, and the Kardashians are no exception. According to TMZ, Rob Kardashian is currently being hospitalized after experiencing complications with his type 2 diabetes. The socks salesman checked himself into the hospital on Wednesday night.

Blac Chyna rushed to be by her fiancé's side, followed by mother Kris Jenner and her boyfriend, Corey Gamble. Chyna and Rob are currently living separately after the reality show stars got into a nasty spat that resulted in the future Mrs. Kardashian taking their 1-month-old daughter, their Eggo waffles and their BBQ sauce before leaving Rob alone in their home. Of course, the whole debacle was broadcast over social media.

Get off mee lol

A photo posted by ROBERT KARDASHIAN (@robkardashian) on

Rob Kardashian has struggled with his weight in recent years, and was hospitalized for type 2 diabetes in December of 2015. In August, he told People that his diabetes was gone after he started working out and eating the food Chyna made for him. He has since gained the weight he lost back.

TMZ is reporting that the flare up of his type 2 diabetes came when the emotional turmoil over his relationship caused him to over-eat. He is still being stabilized at a medical center in Hidden Hills, California.


I stay young by living in the past.

26 women might have the wrong baby daddy due to a little sperm mix-up.

$
0
0

26 women might have been fertilized with the incorrect sperm due to what a Dutch IVF treatment center is calling a "procedural error." At least half of the 26 women who underwent treatment at the Utrech University Medical Centre are already pregnant or have given birth, BBC reports. Which means that dads are having the opposite of this reaction:

How did this happen? It's believed that one of the lab technicians was using a potentially contaminated pipette to inject sperm between April 2015 and and November 2016. The process that was being used differs from IVF; it's called Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) and involves a single sperm being injected into a woman's egg with a pipette. The lab technician was using a different pipette for each procedure, but was using the same rubber top. Upon finding traces of sperm in the rubber top (presumably after following the improper procedure 26 times), the technician raised the alarm.

"Wanting a child is a very delicate thing, especially when it doesn't involve the normal bedroom way. So people need to have 100% confidence in the method they adopt," said Dutch fertility support group, Freya, of the troubling situation. Safe to say everyone's confidence is a bit shaken by this incident, including innocent bystanders like myself.

UMC, which conducts up to 700 ICMI fertilizations per year, will be meeting with all of the couples in the following days, and has offered to conduct a DNA test for any couple who is interested. Is this one of those situations where ignorance isn't bliss? Hard to say. One thing is for sure though, there's a lab technician job open at a Dutch IVF treatment center for anyone who's interested and knows a thing or two about sanitizing a pipette.

Guy shares awkward story of roommate asking him to bang his girlfriend for the dumbest reason.

$
0
0

User WreckEmTech is fascinating the gawkers of Imgur with the ongoing saga of his roommate's girlfriend drama, and how he himself unwittingly got involved. The story started with a series of gif posts, containing such juicy lines as "She is trying to argue she never cheated on him because blowjobs aren't 'cheating' and he's not buying it," and "He just told her he slept with her best friend and that she was better than his gf had ever been." In short, serious drama.

Then, WreckEmTech received a very ominous text from his roommate.

When they finally got together, the roommate handed WreckEmTech a beer, and proceeded to lay the most awkward indecent proposal of all time on him.

D: look I'm sure you heard what happened and I won't spare you the details but A***** cheated on me multiple times and I did the same to her. I did let know it was multiple times until we started fighting. Do you remember when we were at that party and I hooked up with K***?

Me: the brunette? yea I remember.

D: well she found out and long story short she brought your name into it saying she wants to sleep with you...

Me: .....uhhhh I don't think that's a great idea man. I think y'all are just better off moving on from each other. Y'all are terrible for each other and that argument goes to show it.

D: well the thing is I slept with her best friend and I told her about that during the argument. And I also told her I was gonna try and do it again tonight. She tried to tell me that when she gave H***** a BJ that wasn't cheating because there's not any penetration and her clothes were still on... (wtf is up with that logic...)

Me: well I'm not sleeping with your ex. It's not that I wouldn't normally it's just with all of what just happened and with you being my friend I wouldn't feel right.

D: well I'm not asking you to sleep with my ex cause we are still together.

Me: WTF? Y'all aren't breaking up?

D: no we aren't. I think I'm gonna let her have another chance. I really like this girl.

By this point, the story had gone viral. (How could it not?) Commenters started urging him to take the "cut and run" approach.

newjerseydamo said:

Move out. Drop the friend and (ex?)girlfriend. You're going to be stuck in something very messy for a very long time otherwise.

GrumpyOldManInAYoungMansBody said:

Your roommate hath put his dick in crazy. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Fucking run

But thankfully for WreckEmTech, he didn't run. He stuck by his friend in his time of desperate, insane need, and was rewarded. In what may or may not be the final update, he described a reconciliation with his roommate.

Me: Look I don't want to get in between you two and cause any more drama than there already is. I personally think you should just leave the girl and move on from her. She's caused you nothing but grief and troubles and you clearly aren't good for each other. I care about you man and I don't want to see you hurting or getting into something you can't get out of.

D: I was gonna say the same thing. What I said earlier didn't make any sense and I was being emotional. After thinking about it you sleeping with her wouldn't have done us any good and it wouldn't have been good for you to get involved.

In the end, "D" decided to end things with his girlfriend, saving the friendship with his roommate in the process. And best of all, nobody had to have sex. Bullet dodged!

Trump has ‘two simple rules’ for his administration, and Twitter has the jokes.

$
0
0

On Thursday, Donald Trump elevated clickbait to presidential proportions, tweeting out a link to his Instagram with an enticing prelude on Twitter.

Taking the bait, a click leads to an Microsoft Paint picture of Trump claiming that the aforementioned rules are "Buy American" and "Hire American."

My Administration will follow two simple rules: BUY AMERICAN and HIRE AMERICAN! #USA

A photo posted by Donald J. Trump (@realdonaldtrump) on

At least this means Trump won't be buying his own ties, drinking his own wine, or staying in his own tower, because all of his businesses have been dependent on foreign labor.

It's easy to find the receipts.

With those rules already broken, Twitter is proposing the real "two simple rules" that the Trump administration will follow.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

Sorry you'll pass out before you have a chance to make a fool of yourself on New Year's Eve.

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images