A tornado crashed a couple's wedding photos.

July 7, 2014, 7:23 am

≫ Next: A young black bear got his head stuck in a milk can, and had to be rescued by a very skilled lumberjack's crane.

≪ Previous: 5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - July 7, 2014

It is no Bill Murray, but it will do. (via FB)

"I've dreamed about a day like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could NOT wait to post these! Pretty sure this will only happen once in my lifetime!"

This is something you would expect the bride to write when posting her wedding photos on Facebook (well, maybe not the 'pretty sure this will only happen once in my lifetime' part, unless she has been studying divorce rates), but it wasn't the bride posting, it was the wedding photographer, Colleen Niska.

In what appears to be a new tradition of taking natural disaster wedding photos, Niska managed to snap some really cool shots when two tornadoes touched down near Outlook, in Saskatchewan, Canada, which is about an hour away from where she was photographing a couple's wedding.

According to CTV, the tornados didn't really disrupt the reception, aside from blowing a tent over. Not a bad trade for some amazing pictures.

Rain is supposed to be good luck for a wedding, but it looks like tornados are good luck for a wedding photographer; Niska's album had already been shared over 13,000 times by Monday morning.

Then again, maybe it wasn't luck. Some of Niska's new fans seem to think she can control the weather.

(by Myka Fox)

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A young black bear got his head stuck in a milk can, and had to be rescued by a very skilled lumberjack's crane.

July 7, 2014, 7:46 am

≫ Next: Man raises thousands for bowl of potato salad on Kickstarter.

≪ Previous: A tornado crashed a couple's wedding photos.

Milk jars are the Pringles can of the animal world.

Everywhere in the northern half of the country thinks it has the best summers in the nation (people in the South & Southwest like their summers, too, but they know it's hot). Wisconsin may have just pulled into the lead, however, with their newest summer activity: "Lumberjacks Operating Heavy Machinery In A Cornfield To Remove A Milk Can From A Young Black Bear's Head." It's just the kind of hands-on (claw-on) nature interaction most people stop experiencing after their last jobless summer vacation. Although that lumberjack may be out of work if he does his lumberjackin' for the same guy who owns the cornfield he just flattened.

Warning: Vertical video. Skip to about 1:15 if you can't take an adorable bear being vertical.

Now if only someone could take the jar off the camera owner's head so he or she could realize they're holding the camera the wrong way.

The bear could have been way more freaked out in the presence of humans, but he could still learn a lot about patience from this horse being jumped on by baby goats.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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Man raises thousands for bowl of potato salad on Kickstarter.

July 7, 2014, 8:44 am

≫ Next: Important announcement.

≪ Previous: A young black bear got his head stuck in a milk can, and had to be rescued by a very skilled lumberjack's crane.

He's making potato salad.

Amateur potato salad maker Zack Danger Brown started up a Kickstarter campaign to make his first ever batch of potato salad. You know Kickstarter, the fund-raising website that allows you, the average citizen, to fund your friend's business or artistic endeavors without having to look them in the eyes. Even famous people have been known to use the site to beg for money so they don't have to compromise their artistic integrity (or whatever). Donating in this way can be a worthwhile thing to do because, as the financial backer, you get to be involved in something bigger than yourself, and maybe even receive a hat as a reward!

Brown, who is from Columbus, Ohio was generous enough to share his dream with the Internet, too. For a minimum donation of $1, he promised to boil some potatoes, maybe look up a potato salad recipe, and post a personal "thank you" on his website. The Internet understood the importance of this project, and within days, blew out the original goal of $10 to pledge over 800 times that much. Now the stakes are much bigger.

For a pledge of $3, donors will receive a bite of the potato salad. He is "looking into" how he is going to ship these bites. I imagine a shipping fee would be attached, and personally, I recommend choosing a variety that does not include mayo.

For a $5 pledge, you get to pick an ingredient to add to the salad. (Potato-salad-appropriate ingredients only.)

At the "Platinum Level," a pledge of $10 or more, donors get to be in the room while he makes the salad. What a deal! If you wanted to get on set for Zack Braff's Kickstarter-Funded Movie, donors had to pledge $1500 or more.

Of course, with any financial investment, there are some risks. According to the site, they could be as steep as "It might not be that good. It's my first potato salad."

Very risky, but I think he's up for it. After all, Danger is his middle name.

(by Myka Fox)

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Important announcement.

July 7, 2014, 8:50 am

≫ Next: A Tour de France Stage winner was snubbed by a podium girl when he went for a kiss.

≪ Previous: Man raises thousands for bowl of potato salad on Kickstarter.

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A Tour de France Stage winner was snubbed by a podium girl when he went for a kiss.

July 7, 2014, 9:17 am

≫ Next: A guy put on a stormtrooper costume to make a Vine, and ended up causing a lockdown in Kansas.

≪ Previous: Important announcement.

French dissing

Getting a peck on the cheek from two attractive ladies is one of the perks that comes with winning any stage of the Tour de France, which is why it made news this past weekend when Vincenzo Nibali got snubbed by one of the podium girls after winning Stage 2 of the race.

The job isn't that complicated. It's not like this was the end of a horrible date where he said something about getting a kiss because women who wear yellow are easy. You have to assume the kiss was mentioned when she was hired. I guarantee her boss didn't instruct her to hand him the yellow jersey then see if she felt a connection.

Once the guy is standing at the podium, there shouldn't be a lot of mystery. Yet somehow the kiss didn't happen, and the Stage 2 snub is what everyone is talking about.

Update - It's being reported that the kiss was supposed to happen after she handed him a stuffed lion and there was some confusion.

Update #2 - Her rejecting his kiss for some mysterious reason is so much more interesting than the stuffed lion version, so that's what we're sticking with. Tour de Snub!

(by Jonathan Corbett)

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A guy put on a stormtrooper costume to make a Vine, and ended up causing a lockdown in Kansas.

July 7, 2014, 9:21 am

≫ Next: Save the date.

≪ Previous: A Tour de France Stage winner was snubbed by a podium girl when he went for a kiss.

Just an open-carry patriot of the Galactic Empire. (via KWCH12)

The 100 block of S. 7th Street in Salina, Kansas was put on lockdown last week after the employees of a nearby business called police to warn them about a man roving around wearing armor and a gun.

White plastic Stormtrooper armor, that is. Clearly, the fine folks over at Action Travel (who placed the call to police) don't know much about Star Wars, or they would have remembered that Stormtroopers very rarely shoot anyone, even when they try. You'd also think Action Travel employees would be more familiar with the culture of the 70s and 80s, since those were the last times people used travel agencies.

The sales force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

The Stormtrooper in question was Jimmy Johns manager and aspiring Vine star Chris Burns. Burns has a Vine channel called Stormtrooper Sam, about a broke, laid-off Stormtrooper looking for work on Earth after the fall of the Empire.

Unlike the employees of Action Travel, police recognized the iconic outfit when they showed up. Nonetheless, Burns says they still tried to make him stop. "They said, 'If you walk around like that people will call us,'" said Burns, "I said, 'I'll be seeing you a lot I guess.' I knew I wasn't doing anything illegal." Ah, telling people not to do things because it might inconvenience an officer—how will Stormtrooper Sam ever adjust to living here on Earth?

Is that Salacious B. Crumb wandering around at the bottom?

I hope the new Star Wars movies come out soon, because this has taught me that enough time has passed that the general population is starting to forget the stupid stuff that nerds expect them to know. More than anything else, though, I learned that if you want people in the media to discuss your Vine channel, do it in Kansas. If you're making art in the American equivalent of Tatooine, they will write about how you've attracted over 200 followers, they will go into your character's backstory, and they will discuss how "[he] has posted seven videos but said he plans to eventually make longer videos as he develops the character."

So that's how Stormtroopers join the Emperor's Royal Guard.

For a washed-up clone from a family with the worst marksmanship in the galaxy, it appears Stormtrooper Sam is actually capable of scoring a hit.

I'm starting to think the Empire would have won with more flexible armor.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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Save the date.

July 7, 2014, 9:41 am

≫ Next: This fan-made footage demonstrates how much cooler airports would look in the 'Star Wars' universe.

≪ Previous: A guy put on a stormtrooper costume to make a Vine, and ended up causing a lockdown in Kansas.

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This fan-made footage demonstrates how much cooler airports would look in the 'Star Wars' universe.

July 7, 2014, 10:04 am

≫ Next: Major event.

≪ Previous: Save the date.

"These aren't the manifold TK-3c invoice sheets you're looking for."

Given the labyrinthine interplanetary trade dispute and resulting mercantile embargo that makes up the driving narrative behind Star Wars Episode I: Articles C Through F Of Said Binding Commercial Agreement, one might be tempted to believe that this mundane-seeming footage from an Imperial starport was actual leaked footage from the upcoming Episode 7. In reality, it's just some outstandingly impressive fan-created footage that recently made its way online:

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

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Major event.

July 7, 2014, 10:30 am

≫ Next: Young at heart.

≪ Previous: This fan-made footage demonstrates how much cooler airports would look in the 'Star Wars' universe.

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Young at heart.

July 7, 2014, 10:43 am

≫ Next: Man avoids work by manipulating a bug's destiny.

≪ Previous: Major event.

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Man avoids work by manipulating a bug's destiny.

July 7, 2014, 10:48 am

≫ Next: A guy confronted two women trying to steal his stuff on the beach and they found that rude.

≪ Previous: Young at heart.

The pen of destiny.

While you were at your office actually sending the emails you told people you would send, YouTuber thesam101 was doing the Lord's work (if he were the Lord) by diabolically interrupting a bug's journey across a piece of paper.

No matter how beaten down you are by the man, at least you're not afraid of a line of ink.

So why won't the bug cross the lines? If you ever want to understand a phenomenon on YouTube, you only need to look as far as the comments section:

I'm no scientist, but the sticky goo theory got more than twice as many "thumbs ups" as the pheromone theory, so it wins the YouTube award for Science Fact!

Not satisfied? Don't worry! The discussion continues in the comments section on reddit, where redditor SamBobz (probably the same Sam) has posted the video.

There, now we've all wasted some time at work!

(by Myka Fox)

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A guy confronted two women trying to steal his stuff on the beach and they found that rude.

July 7, 2014, 11:36 am

≫ Next: This woman had a terrifyingly close encounter with a digital shark.

≪ Previous: Man avoids work by manipulating a bug's destiny.

Beach justice.

If you leave your wallet, phone or sunglasses unattended for an hour on the beach, you would expect them to be stolen. That one's partly on you for being an idiot. However, if the item happens to be a canopy so large that the thieves require your help taking it down in order to steal it from you, that's on them.

The "them" in this case are two women on New Smyrna Beach in Florida, who decided to help themselves to another family's stuff while they were a block away at their rental house, putting the kids down for a nap. When the dad returned to the beach, he happened upon "them" having some difficulty trying to disassemble his canopy. Not surprisingly, things got awkward when the guy politely asked if they needed a hand stealing his belongings.

"You need some help?"

"Do you know how to do it?".

"Yeah," he says. "This is our stuff."

At that point, the ladies have a two options; one is simply apologizing and walking away. The other involves them claiming the stuff is theirs, getting in the guy's face, assaulting him for filming them, and then becoming stars of a viral video called Busted! Two Women Caught Stealing a Canopy on the Beach, Then Attack! with over 1.5 million views in two days.

The guy told Gawker the reason the video cuts off before the woman makes contact with him is because he wanted to send the video to his family before Big Red followed through on her threat to take his camera for having the audacity to film them after they specifically asked him not to record them stealing his stuff.

"I couldn't believe what just happened. I messaged the vid to my wife and sister back at the beach house, just the video without a message. The way the video ends I can now understand their concern. They told me they got in the car immediately and called the police right away. My wife, sister, and niece arrived a few minutes later, Beach Patrol a few minutes after that.

"I explained that nothing was taken and the "assault" didn't warrant filing a police report or pressing charges. The Beach Patrol Officer explained that this never happens in New Smyrna Beach, which I agree with wholeheartedly. The 4th of July holiday brought out large crowds of beachgoers and a few bad apples had less than the best intentions."

While it's a crappy way to end your 4th of July weekend, the guy handled the situation about as well as he could have. He didn't lose his stuff, and he got a laugh out of it, along with some sense of justice knowing that the beach thieves are now reluctant stars on Youtube. Most importantly, the title of the video isn't Dude Fights With Two Middle-Aged Ladies on the Beach!

(by Jonathan Corbett)

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This woman had a terrifyingly close encounter with a digital shark.

July 7, 2014, 11:36 am

≫ Next: Checking in.

≪ Previous: A guy confronted two women trying to steal his stuff on the beach and they found that rude.

We're gonna need a bigger NOPE.

This footage of a woman getting the scare of her life—via some clever digital trickery in the Exquisitely Evil: 50 Years of Bond Villains section of Washington, D.C.'s International Spy Museum—is really pretty funny. Nice work, whatever evil people put this together!

But if this were me, the difference between getting tricked into thinking I was being eaten by a Great White and actually getting eaten by a Great White is really no difference at all. I'd end up dead in either scenario.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)

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Checking in.

July 7, 2014, 11:44 am

≫ Next: Posh Spice and Sam L. Jackson share an awkward-looking moment at Wimbledon.

≪ Previous: This woman had a terrifyingly close encounter with a digital shark.

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Posh Spice and Sam L. Jackson share an awkward-looking moment at Wimbledon.

July 7, 2014, 12:15 pm

≫ Next: Second thoughts.

≪ Previous: Checking in.

I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker. (via Getty Images)

Hard to believe Victoria Beckham and Samuel L. Jackson wouldn't have much to talk about, considering they have both delivered terrifying acting performances (Jackson in almost everything he has done, Beckham in the one thing she has done), but this Vine definitely makes it seem like they were uncomfortable being seated next to one another at Wimbledon.

Her chair is so far away, and she looks so uncomfortable, it seems like he just threatened to strike down upon her with great vengeance and furious anger.

According to Jackson, it wasn't weird at all, and after becoming annoyed at the Internet's misunderstanding of 6 seconds of out-of-context footage (impossible!), he took to twitter to clear things up.

Lotta Bullshit goin' round, I had a ball sitting next to @victoriabeckham at Wimbledon yesterday! Truly Lovely!STFU!!
— Samuel L. Jackson (@SamuelLJackson) July 7, 2014

He had a ball. I would take his word for it.

(via Miramax)

(by Myka Fox)

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Second thoughts.

July 7, 2014, 12:42 pm

≫ Next: Here's a whole bunch of cats who (incorrectly) think they're tough guys.

≪ Previous: Posh Spice and Sam L. Jackson share an awkward-looking moment at Wimbledon.

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Here's a whole bunch of cats who (incorrectly) think they're tough guys.

July 7, 2014, 1:16 pm

≫ Next: 5 kittens to reward you for making it to 5pm on a Monday after a holiday.

≪ Previous: Second thoughts.

Take that, whatever you are.

Ok, there are a few legitimate badasses in this supercut of kitty cats doing battle with dogs, other kitties, inanimate objects and the occasional crocodile or bear. For the most part, though, this compilation from Tastefully Offensive and Robert Jones is a testament to cat braggadocio, especially when facing their favorite opponent: very patient dogs.

Those of you disturbed by the images of cold-pawed savagery might want to calm your nerves with this video of animals dancing to Salt-n-Pepa's "Push It."

(by Johnny McNulty)

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5 kittens to reward you for making it to 5pm on a Monday after a holiday.

July 7, 2014, 1:59 pm

≫ Next: Hot loving.

≪ Previous: Here's a whole bunch of cats who (incorrectly) think they're tough guys.

The most adorable kitten I could find on the Internet today. (via redditor KatyPurry)

I needed that. I cannot believe how hard getting through this Monday was, but we did it!

And now, as a reward for making it through the Monday after a holiday weekend, I present to you, with no real effort: four more totally adorable kittens.

Striking a pose. (via redditor thekid2009)

Those eyes. (via redditor swmay)

Rescued from a trash can! (via redditor batterija)

Hiding from mom. (via redditor enestatli)

We're gonna get through this week, everyone. I promise.

(by Myka Fox)

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Hot loving.

July 7, 2014, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: The CIA gave an update on Tupac's whereabouts today.

≪ Previous: 5 kittens to reward you for making it to 5pm on a Monday after a holiday.

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The CIA gave an update on Tupac's whereabouts today.

July 7, 2014, 5:01 pm

≫ Next: People who really should have checked the background of their photos before putting them online.

≪ Previous: Hot loving.

Tupac is everywhere, of course, because he is a hologram.

The CIA is being extra funny today. The comedy institution and part-time spy agency has only been on Twitter a month, but it's been such a wonderful month for them, apparently, that they are already celebrating their "Twitterversary" with some A+ dead-people humor with regards to the 1996 murder of rapper Tupac Shakur.

No, we don’t know where Tupac is. #twitterversary
— CIA (@CIA) July 7, 2014

Oh, man, the CIA hasn't made the American people laugh like this since their classic "waterboarding isn't torture" routine. Ah, the CIA. They actually do kill people, including assassinations, so their jokes about murdered folks have that extra "edge" you just can't get anywhere else. Plus, it's the joke that keeps on giving, because conspiracy nuts will bring this back up over and over. Certainly, it's a lot bolder than their first tweet:

We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.
— CIA (@CIA) June 6, 2014

The CIA did prove that one thing I had presumed dead was still alive: the "where's Tupac?" joke. I thought, like everyone else, that it had been brutally gunned down in a Las Vegas comedy club by unidentified audience members (possibly East Coast tourists). Now, it turns out that anything could be possible.

As for the man himself, however, Tupac is alive, well, and attending Golden State Warriors games.

(by Johnny McNulty)

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