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I’m going to have a quiet night in and think about everything I’ve done wrong in the past 12 years.


In case you didn't know, some people smile in winter. They are all in Florida.

Thanks for always being there to get coffee with me even if you just got coffee.

Jimmy Kimmel asked people if they prefer Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act. They’re the same thing.

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Back in 2013, Jimmy Kimmel sent correspondents out onto the street to ask civilians whether they prefer Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act (you can watch that video here). Unsurprisingly, people didn't know that Obamacare and the Affordable Care Act are, in fact, the same exact thing. Now, nearly four years later, Kimmel conducted the same experiment and, spoiler alert, we have basically learned nothing.

Looks like naivety exists on both sides of the coin, and people generally equate their feelings on President Obama to their feelings on Obamacare (which is, again, The Affordable Care Act. See how easy this is?)

The discussion surrounding healthcare has been at the forefront of the news recently, with Republicans working hard to dismantle the Affordable Care Act (also known as Obamacare) without offering a replacement, potentially leaving up to 25 million people uninsured.

Here's how long it will take for Melania Trump to get from the White House to Trump Tower.

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Here's an interesting tidbit from the highest office in the country, and how it bends space-time for the purest convenience of its inhabitors.

As you likely know, Melania Trump has decided to stay in New York City instead of moving to D.C. to live with her husband. And who can blame her? She gets to keep her son Barron in his same school, and she doesn't have to wake up every morning covered in presidential spray tan.

But she's still going to have a glam room at the White House, which means she'll be staying there on Friday and Saturday nights, according to TMZ.

That esteemed outlet also learned the breakdown of her travel schedule between the two East Coast hubs. Keep in mind, a direct flight between NYC and DC takes about an hour and fifteen minutes for regular, non-first lady travel. Factor in an hour at the airport beforehand, all that airplane taxiing, grueling traffic in a cab to midtown, and you're looking at five hours from A to B, easily. I don't know exactly, because I've only ever taken a 3,000 hour bus ride.

Not for Melania, of course.

She'll take a motorcade from the White House to Maryland (20 minutes), where she'll hop in a jet (probably not commercial, lol) to LaGuardia Airport (45 minutes).

Traffic though. No one can get around New York traffic, right? And with construction at the airport? Brutal.

Not for Melania. She'll take a brisk, casual helicopter to the Chelsea neighborhood (15 mins), and then another motorcade to Trump Tower (10 minutes).

Grand total is 90 minutes. This is the only reason to want to become president.

Scary Spice herself explains how each of the Spice Girls got their names.

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Mel B, a.k.a. Scary Spice, appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday, and finally explained how the Spice Girls were given their iconic monikers. Although many have speculated that the girl group was built and branded by a record label, Mel B. explained that the Spice Girls had a rocky beginning, and that they all started as struggling singers living off welfare and looking for someone to sign them. The story about how they were given their spiced-up names is just as surprising. The conversation about their respective aliases starts at 4:06 into the video.

Although the story is less enchanting than the fantasy that they all got their names by boiling down the essence of their personality to create the most exciting "spice rack" of all time, the titles certainly stuck, and created the foundation for their girl-group pop empire. However, she still doesn't explain why they decided to be spices, which is probably a whole different story.

All it took was just one shiftless journalist to spice up everyone's lives. See, sometimes being lazy does pay off.

Is Gary the worst guy on Tinder?

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There are a lot of awful men on Tinder, but Gary might be the worst of them all. This 22-year-old, who appears to work as an accident-prone chef who doesn't understand blowtorch safety, used his profile as a platform for his various anti-feminist beliefs. While it's not known if any women have swiped right on his profile, someone screenshotted it and uploaded it to Imgur. Now the whole world can enjoy what a jackass he is.

The last line makes it funny! Right?

Is it a joke? Would that help? Has anyone ever touched this man's penis? Sadly, we'll never know.

Kate Hudson and James Corden dance it out at an intense class taught by toddlers.

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Bike away, SoulCycle. The latest celebrity trend is Toddlerography, the ultimate cardio experience taught by toddlers. A test of flexibility, rhythm, and endurance, the children raise the bar on aerobics, putting Kate "Six Pack" Hudson and James "Jiggle all the way" Corden to the test.

If you've got toddlers at home, promote them to personal trainer so you could build the endurance to chase them around the house.


25 of the funniest women on Twitter this week: Sex, fake news, the Bachelor, and more.

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Jokes about sex, the Bachelor, depression, and more, in the 25 funniest tweets by women this week!

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Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you should put a rock in your hooha.

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Good news, ladies. Gwyneth Paltrow'sGoop newsletter is back again with more advice on the care and keeping of your lady parts. What is it this time? Healing vagina stones. More specifically, jade stones in the shape of eggs which you insert into your hooha.

That's right, my friends. For just $66 (available for purchase at the Goop shop, of course), you too can stick a magical rock in your vagina. Why would one do such a thing? According to Goop's"beauty guru/healer/inspiration/friend," Shiva Rose:

Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force.

When you tell your date there's a magical jade egg in your lady parts.

Unfortunately for all of us, the stones have already sold out. Will someone please write to Gwyneth Paltrow and ask her if there's a waitlist? I'd hate to miss out on invigorating my life force.

Plus, we all know what a great idea sticking objects in your vagina is.

Trump interrupts interview to trademark his incredibly lame 2020 campaign slogan.

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Two days from President-elect Trump's inauguration, the incoming commander-in-chief is enjoying a frenzy of media attention. Perhaps he sees it as a last hurrah before he closes the White House off from the press entirely. On Wednesday morning, The Washington Post published an interview with Trump focusing on what may be the most successful element of his campaign: his slogan, "Make America Great Again."

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One especially interesting point in the interview came about halfway through, when Trump dropped everything to proudly share the slogan for his 2020 reelection campaign. He even shouted for his lawyer (like a sultan summoning a eunuch) so he could trademark it before those sneaky Post writers stole the idea.

Halfway through his interview with The Washington Post, Trump shared a bit of news: He already has decided on his slogan for a reelection bid in 2020.

“Are you ready?” he said. “ ‘Keep America Great,’ exclamation point.”

“Get me my lawyer!” the president-elect shouted.

Two minutes later, one arrived.

“Will you trademark and register, if you would, if you like it — I think I like it, right? Do this: ‘Keep America Great,’ with an exclamation point. With and without an exclamation. ‘Keep America Great,’ ” Trump said.

“Got it,” the lawyer replied.

That bit of business out of the way, Trump returned to the interview.

There you have it: "Keep America Great." It's certainly a logical slogan, if not that original. (Not that "Make America Great Again" was original–as the Post points out, it was used by both Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush.)

Best of luck to President-elect Trump on not being impeached before he has a chance to use his new slogan.

Fiona Apple hits Donald Trump where it hurts with new song 'Tiny Hands.'

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In anticipation of this weekend's Women's March on Washington, Fiona Apple has released a minute long anti-Trump anthem called "Tiny Hands." The song, written by Apple and Michael Whalen, features the rallying chant "we don't want your tiny hands anywhere near our underpants," and was written specifically for the the hundreds of protest marches against President-elect Donald Trump following his inauguration.

In addition to the Women's March in Washington DC, over 600 sister marches have been organized domestically and around the world. There is at least one sister march in every US State, and countries participating include France, Japan, Germany, Iraq, India, Kenya, Ghana, Poland, Saudi Arabia, England, Ireland and Switzerland. Yeah, not even Switzerland is remaining neutral on this one.

Fiona Apple last released an album in 2012, but she has been keeping busy in recent months lambasting Donald Trump through her music. In December, the singer/songwriter debuted a parody of "The Christmas Song" entitled "Trump's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire," which took a swing at the billionaire turned politician.

Steve Harvey apologizes for calling all Asian men ugly.

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Steve Harvey, the current President of Putting Your Foot In Your Mouth, apologized Tuesday night for making a joke about how ugly Asian men are, after his comment received enormous backlash.

His apology, posted on Twitter, reads:

I offer my humblest apology for offending anyone, particularly those in the Asian community, last week. It was not my intention, and the humor was not met with any malice or disrespect whatsoever. —SH

The bit that caused the outrage was from an episode of his TV show, where he fails to understand that a gag book called How To Date A White Woman: A Practical Guide For Asian Men was just that—a gag.

In a New York Times op ed published Sunday called "Hey Steve, Who Says I Might Not Steal Your Girl?," Eddie Huang (the author of Fresh Off the Boat, the book that led to the TV series) wrote,

Attractiveness is a very haphazard dish that can’t be boiled down to height or skin color, but Asian men are told that regardless of what the idyllic mirepoix is or isn’t, we just don’t have the ingredients.

Bella Thorne gives definitive ruling on whether or not those are her ex's nudes, Twitter goes nuts.

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When someone on Twitter claimed to have found young heartthrob Gregg Sulkin's nude photos, his ex Bella Thorne called it out as "Fake Nudes."

Gregg and Bella, back in the day.

She had a very...straight and firm response.

Let's, uh, look at the original tweet, because, um, context and stuff.

Twitter could not get over this particularly savage fact-checking.

People were debating just what Thorne's angle on the penis is (hehe).

And the super-sleuths on Twitter determined that the only way to confirm whether or not those are fake nudes:

This has been your daily dick pic.

I'm protesting having to get up at 4am to go to D.C. for a protest.


I will love you until Pi runs out of decimal places.

Instagram star proves how fake Instagram can be with pics taken seconds apart.

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This is smokin' hot fitness model Anna Victoria.

Anna Victoria's inspirational photos and fitness guides have earned her more than 1.2M loyal followers on Instagram.

Two days ago, she posted this picture of her modeling a bikini she was trying on.

She looks amazing, but then a day later she had a change of heart and decided to post another pic in the same bikini, taken literally seconds after the first one. "

"Me 1% of the time vs. 99% of the time."

Dang, posture and angles really do change everything! More importantly, she posted that pic to show that even fitness models don't look perfect all the time, and that "our belly rolls, cellulite, stretch marks are nothing to apologize for, to be ashamed of, or to be obsessed with getting rid of!"

Me 1% of the time vs. 99% of the time. And I love both photos equally. Good or bad angles don't change your worth ❤️ I recently came across an article talking about how one woman stated she refuses to accept her flaws, because she doesn't see them as flaws at all. I LOVED that because it sends such a powerful message that our belly rolls, cellulite, stretch marks are nothing to apologize for, to be ashamed of, or to be obsessed with getting rid of! As I'm getting older, I have cellulite and stretch marks that aren't going away, and I welcome them. They represent a life fully lived (for 28 years so far :)) and a healthy life and body at that. How can I be mad at my body for perfectly normal "flaws"? This body is strong, can run miles, can lift and squat and push and pull weight around, and it's happy not just because of how it looks, but because of how it feels. So when you approach your journey, I want you to remember these things:
I will not punish my body
I will fuel it
I will challenge it
AND I will love it
💗💗💗
If you're following my page, you're a part of helping me spread this message and creating this movement - thank you. #fbggirls www.annavictoria.com/guides

There's nothing more calming than seeing a seemingly perfect-looking person look not so perfect. Wouldn't it be great if we could get a few of these "bad angle shots" to go with everything else we see?

Lululemon employees fat-shamed a woman who'd just lost 80 pounds.

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Lululemon is a ridiculously popular company, despite so many setbacks. Their latest failure is that of two employees at their Park City, UT retail outlet store, who were horribly rude to a customer who'd just lost 80 pounds.

I have to share the WORST experience ever here. I live in Vegas, so we are lucky to have 2 retail stores and 1 outlet...

Posted by Heather Albert on Monday, January 16, 2017

Heather Albert, the customer, wrote a Facebook post about her excitement at being able to shop in a retail store after losing 80 pounds, and her subsequent heartbreak at the cruelty of the employees.

I have to share the WORST experience ever here.

I live in Vegas, so we are lucky to have 2 retail stores and 1 outlet store here. I've always shopped the outlet to save $$$, and never went to the retail store here.

I had weight loss surgery a year ago, and have lost 80lbs. I'm pretty proud of myself! When my amazing fiancee heard I was going to Park City, UT for a work trip this past week, she insisted I go to the retail store in PC and buy myself something. I was so excited to finally go to a retail store!

Friday afternoon, I dropped my coworkers off at our hotel and ran over to the store to see what they had. I walked in and headed for the sale rack first (it's what I do). There were two EDs in the store, and I was the only customer. Shortly after I walked in, I heard one ED whisper (loudly) to the other, "DO we even have anything in her size??" and both proceeded to giggle. I was the only customer in the store. I knew it was directed at me. I was mortified. I quickly bought the two things I had in my hand that I had found and left the store. I was so embarrassed! I had a work function to go to that night, when I got back to my hotel I cried in the shower.

Now, I realize that not everyone fits into Lulu, but I'm a street size 10/12 and in Lulu I'm a 10/12 top and an 8/10 bottom. I'm not even close to maxing out on size there! I'll stick to the outlets and online shopping from now on.

"Cried in the shower"? Wow, way to ruin a woman's day, Lululemon employees. SMDH.

The Facebook commenters offered a lot of support,

Eventually someone from the Lululemon contacted Heather Albert, according to Daily Mail. Speaking to the Mail, Albert described her experience at the Lululemon shop as "demeaning, disheartening, and discouraging." She continued,

If it ends up fixing the people that were rude to me, so that everyone feels welcome to shop in the store and nobody feels ashamed, then I suppose I've gotten through. I just hope that no one else has to go through that.

A spokesperson for Lululemon told the Mail, "We welcome everyone in our community into our stores and love to celebrate the creation and completion of health and fitness goals — regardless of shape or size."

Um, no, they clearly don't. Keep in mind that Lululemon still doesn't make anything above size 12, which is a blatant diss to the "average" American woman, who is a size 16. But people want to shop there, so it seems to me if someone likes your merchandise and wants to give you the money, the least you could do is NOT MAKE FUN OF THEM OUT LOUD. That is literally the least you could do for a customer; courtesy and helpfulness come next. Look into it, Lululemon.

'Harry Potter' actress explains why she doesn't want to be associated with her character anymore.

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Sometimes we humans have to leave what we know behind and reach for bigger and better things. This applies to everyone, even those of us who are already kind of famous. Evanna Lynch, who played Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter films, recently took to Instagram to explain why she'd be taking a step back from her iconic character, at least for the time being.

In her post to Instagram, Evanna Lynch talks about the "safety net" Luna Lovegood and the Wizarding World has created for her, but says it's time to push herself beyond the comfort of Harry Potter and try to challenge herself more as an artist. She writes:

Sometimes life gives you an easy route that dulls your appetite for chasing your dreams and you become inhibited by fear of what lays beyond comfort and safety. That for me has been living off the world I inhabited a decade ago. It's a blessing to have a safety net and while it's possible to maintain safety and chaos together I believe I need insecurity to light a fire under my scared little artist's ass.

Lynch, who is now 25, goes on to say that she feels "stuck in my 18 year old self artistically" and is working to push herself beyond her comfort zone to grow creatively. She says:

I’m different now and need to honour that and challenge myself to create something else, something from the person I am today,” she continued. “I feel like I’m stuck in my 18 year old self artistically when I actually have a lot more to say. I’m writing it down for myself to acknowledge and to remind myself to not be held back by fear of discovering my inabilities and inadequacies as an actor and human. What is there to lose anymore by being relentlessly optimistic about the future? I have run out of excuses and want to follow my heart wholeheartedly rather than my fear…

I wish Evanna Lynch the best of her luck in her new endeavors, and I promise that I will try very hard not to picture her as Luna Lovegood in every single non-Harry Potter thing she ever does.

'People's Choice Awards 2017': What time and channel is it on tonight?

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If it wasn't already apparent, we're now in full-swing awards season and tonight, January 18th is the 43rd People's Choice Awards. Yes, once again Hollywood's rich and famous will be strutting down the red carpet (or carpet of some other color) posing for a barrage of flashblubs and attempting to charm reporters. Unlike all the other awards shows however, the People's Choice Awards is voted on by fans -- hence, the name -- and not a faceless entity made up of critics.

The show will be hosted by Joel McHale and cover a whopping 64 categories -- bring snacks, it's gonna be a long night. So far, over 125 million votes have been cast! Here's the 411 on what time and channel to watch and what to expect from the show.

Time: 9 p.m. EST

Channel: CBS or stream it LIVE via the CBS app.

Where: The Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles, California.

What it is: The awards show will cover just about every aspect of mainstream entertainment from favorite movies, TV shows, musical artists to newer categories like favorite social media celebrity. This will be Joel McHale'sfirst time hosting the awards show, but has plenty of experience under his belt as previous host for the 2014 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner and 2015 ESPY Awards. And if landing the hosting gig weren't enough, McHale is also a nominee with his sitcom The Great Indoors, getting its first nomination in the Favorite New TV Comedy category. As for what to expect from McHale, explosions perhaps?

“Okay, lot of pyrotechnics,” McHale joked.“It’ll make a Bon Jovi show look like a small-town bottle rocket going off with what we’re going to shoot off here. I would warn the people in the first three rows, they could get their eyebrows singed.”

Who will be there: In addition to the awards presentation, the show will have a number of musical performances including Blake Shelton -- who also happens to be a nominee for Favorite Male Artist, Favorite Male Country Artist and Favorite Album (If I'm Honest) -- girl group Fifth Harmony is also slated to perform. Viewers will undoubtedly notice that Fifth Harmony is now actually four harmonies as Camila Cabello exited the group last month and this will make their debut as a foursome. They don't seem to be sweating it though as Ally Brooke Hernandez tweet this statement of confidence.

In addition to the show being a big night for McHale and Fifth Harmony, it also happens to be somewhat of a potential historic moment for Ellen DeGeneres who just might shatter the record for most-winning nominee of all time. Currently, she has a whopping 17 People's Choice Awards.

Celebrities such as Jennifer Lopez, Tom Hanks, Blake Lively, Tyler Perry, Robert Downey Jr., Kerry Washington and bevy of others are expected to attend.

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