Jimmy Fallon and Mike Myers had an epic dance-off to finally answer the age old question: do Americans or Canadians have the better moves? The two comedians went toe-to-toe in a game called "Dice Dance-Off" on The Tonight Show on Tuesday, which was comprised of rolling a giant foam dice and improvising whichever fictional dance move or style was on the top.

The "hot poutine" and the "windy plastic bag" will surely be sweeping the nation soon.

Fallon and Myers both have some pretty impressive moves, even if they seem to get winded after about 20 seconds. Plus, watching Mike Myers dance is totally giving us major Austin Powers flashbacks.

An upcoming issue of Empire includes a 24-page farewell to the legendary Carrie Fisher, who passed away suddenly at the end of December. The feature includes a very personal commemoration by Dan Aykroyd, original SNL cast member and Fisher's one time fiancé.

The couple fell in love during the filming of Blues Brothers. Fisher actually played John Belushi's girlfriend, but she soon "moved in with me into a penthouse suite in the futuristic, aluminum-clad Astro Tower, which I knew to apologise for," writes Aykroyd.

"Carrie had the most refined eye for art and design."

That theme would come up again.

But one of the most intriguing anecdotes is Aykroyd's description of, as he puts it, "one of the planet's greatest occasions where LSD was a factor." To put it simply: they tripped balls together, spending three days "full-on weeping to Christmas classics."

As mentioned above, Fisher's attention to architectural detail is something of a recurring theme in the essay, as another discerning artistic moment from Fisher actually preceded their breakup.

Carrie and I went home to a house which Judy [Belushi] had purchased for me but unseen by me until the moment of our arrival. It was a fixer-upper, mid-century oil-guzzler, albeit designed by Hideo Sasaki. Carrie said, "It looks like it was abandoned by Fred and Wilma Flintstone." The next morning she asked me to drive her to the airport and she flew to New York.

Aykroyd ends his piece by clarifying "Carrie wasn't shallow, we had a great time," but she was also—sadly for Aykroyd—"in love with Paul Simon."

"She married him but I hope she kept my ring."

Oh, she also told him to keep his "chin up otherwise you look like a tuna." It inspired him to call himself Tuna Neck from then on.

Read Aykroyd's full piece here.

The sales for George Orwell's classic novel 1984 soared after Kellyanne Conway used the term "alternative facts" to describe the falsehoods the Trump team spun, according to CBS News. In 1984, the government changes the meaning of words to confuse people, turning English into something called "newspeak." Hmm, that doesn't quite bode well.

On Saturday, Sean Spicer, the White House press secretary (Mike's job, for Veep viewers) insisted in his first press conference that President Trump had record sized crowds for his inauguration, which is unverifiable and most likely not true. On Sunday, Kellyanne Conway, top Trump advisor and former wanna be standup comedian, told Chuck Todd on Meet the Press that Spicer's comments weren't untrue, they were "alternative facts." See, now that's funny.

As a result, the internet lit up with a million jokes about "alternative facts" (while it's still legal to make fun of the government) and comparisons made on social media between the current administration and the dystopian world of George Orwell's1984 led to an increase in the book's sales big enough to put it into Amazon's top five. For people who suddenly find themselves very interested in works of fiction about totalitarian governments, perhaps pick up copies of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale and Aldous Huxley's Brave New World while you're at it?

In a social media back and forth that is almost too ridiculous to be anything but a banned episode of Boy Meets World from thecollege years, a Bowling Green State University student tweeted a video of a Ku Klux Klan member on campus.

The grainy, blurry video shows the inside of a classroom, where it appears a hooded figure is looming over students.

Now, before you check out the president of the university's response to the situation, it's important to note that other Twitter users also said that there's an "active KKK chapter in the city," and the original student agreed.

What was in that classroom, though? Well, let the university president take it from here:

Here's what she saw through the window:

The Bowling Green student acknowledged her mistake, but still made the point:

Others just made jokes about Scooby Doo:

We're relieved that it turned out to just be lab equipment. But what's it say that a student is so on edge she expects to see the KKK in a classroom in broad daylight?

The thought of winding up in prison is absolutely terrifying. And the many prison-based movies and prison-based TV shows (Orange is the New Black, Prison Break, Oz, etc.) do little to demystify life in the slammer. If anything, those movies and TV shows are a big part of why most of us want to stay far, far away from a correctional facility.

However, the world of prison is not necessarily like it's depicted on screen. A few people who had been incarcerated took to Reddit to weigh in on what life behind bars was really like for them.

1. Former prisoner megaWobbly says that in prison you gotta watch your back…because one of the other inmates may have a board game or a Sudoku book or something.

It was a lot more boring. Very little excitement. Very little violence. Lots of wanking. Lots of reading.

2. User tirwander did some time at a prison that may have also been an airport bookstore.

SOOOO BORING. It drove me nuts. The library fucking sucked too... lots of western pornography books. Lots of really shitty books. So much James Patterson and Dean Koontz.

3. User produce_this says what your ol' granddad used to say: don't pee where you poop, and don't poop where you pee.

We had 6 toilets. 3 for poopin, and 3 for pissin. If your pissed in one of the shitting toilets, you might get your ass beat.

4. According to MandalaIII, prison is like summer camp, but with more chicken wings.

I spent 1.5 years in a federal prison for women (medium security) in Florida.

There was a lot of shitty things, I'm not gonna lie. But we also had popcorn and cotton candy on holidays, chicken wings and soda for the super bowl, and in the summer we had a Battle of the (Housing) Units contest that went three months, where we competed on teams doing sports, trivia, and other games, as well as a Biggest Loser-style contest.

There were some truly dark moments but honestly I had a grand fucking time, doing yoga and suntanning with terrorists and murderers (of which I knew several).

5. Me-Here-Now says that prison is basically like New York: It's crowded and everything is expensive.

What surprised me the most are all the things inmates have to pay for, or go with out. Like phones and email, postage stamps. Many of these services go through outside companies who charge way too much for the service and then there's always a fee when you pay for the service. Want to put $10 on someone's phone, that is $13.95 with fees.

6. Another_Desk_Jockey says prison was…(rolls handful of dice)…fun and games!

D&D is huge in most prisons. We had to remove some books from an inmates cell one time (there was a limit of 3 per inmate) and he was furious because he needed his DM guide, player handbook, and monster manual and was going to have to give one up if he wanted to keep the novel he was reading.

7. The burrito jim_okc describes would not be the worst burrito many of us have ever had.

Prison "burritos". A lot of guys like to make weird junk food loaves from various junk food sorta mashed all together and call it a burrito. Apparently this is a nationwide thing. Prison haggis would be a more accurate term for it.

8. This story from needasketchASAP is why it's good they haven't invented smell-o-vision to go along with prison shows.

for me only jail not prison, but - one thing tv failed to capture is how fucking gross jail is. The smell of the place and some of the people there is something i've never experienced anywhere else. A highschool locker room dirty laundry basket smells better after a football game than a jail. I grew up without a lot of money and ate some gross stuff, but the food in jail is inedible garbage. They give you a warm baloney sandwich and a bag of tang-type liquid, thats a typical meal. Just seeing it on TV isnt giving you the full picture of being immersed in the filth

9. "HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY BLAH BLAH BLAH" - prison, according to zonk3.

Prison life is bad enough as is, for me, it was the goddamned noise all the fucking time. Some fucking asshole is always making noise.

10. According to freederp, a major part of being behind bars is not being behind bars at all.

Every weekday I went to an off campus warehouse and recycled trash from the prison and near by towns. 100% of trash from the prison was recycled and gone through by hand. 8 hours a day I was in a jumpsuit going through the nastiest trash. Lost of porn, letters from lovers(dirty letters), contraband, whatever. Stupid thing, is, when something like a needle was thrown away it was just put in the trash and some kid got poked by one.

11. It must be true if their user name is tells_no_lie.

no one cares what you are in for, everyone just wants to mind their own business.

12. 24thstate says prison is full of just the gosh-darn nicest bunch of fellas you'd ever want to introduce to your kid sister.

There's far fewer actual criminals in prison then you might think--at least in American prisons. I don't know what it's like elsewhere. Here in the US the prisons are filled with low level drug offenders and parole violators. Dui offenders and the like. Not so many killers and rapists and thieves. People hold the door for you and say excuse me.

13. User officialanswer says that the people are just the worse. Oh, not the ones in prison, though.

I spent 3 years in a Texas prison and was only assaulted once and rarely shown disrespect. I was appalled to return to the "real world" and find out how disrespectful and cruel people were. I guess you have to be more civil when you're trapped with people that will occasionally kick your face in if you're a constant douche-bundle.

14. According to Dustin, those orange jumpsuits are evidently not lined with fleece.

Cold as fuck. Always so damn cold. Took showers often as possible to thaw out in luke warm water. Oh, and your blanket stays on your bed. No question.

15. But FeloniusSwagger says prison is far worse than you could ever imagine.

Its nothing like movies/tv, more like high school. It's all he said she said, heard from the grapevine(jail.com) drama. Oh and everyone thinks the're a rapper.

On Tuesday evening, supporters of Donald Trump tried to celebrate the new President by starting a 'Twitter rally' using the hashtag #ThankYouTrump. Gee, where could this possibly go wrong?

Of course, it didn't take long for the hashtag to be overtaken by those who oppose President Trump, effectively making #ThankYouTrump the new #ThanksObama.

Here are just a few examples of the way Twitter decided to "thank" president Trump.

Of course, there were also those two used #ThankYouTrump for it's intended purpose—to sincerely thank the president. They are really excited about "winning."

Oh, internet. Never stop internetting.

Today in Companies That Need To Rethink Their Product Names comes this item from the Mirror: an emery board for your feet called—wait for it—the Pedi File. Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

A picture of the item was posted on Reddit, along with the text "Someone in marketing is getting fired."

And this is an American company! Right there on the handle for the file it says "Dallas, TX." So it's definitely not a case of a language mix-up.

How did this get past the marketing team? Yikes!

On Tuesday, the 2017 Oscar Nominations were announced, and Casey Affleck was honored for his performance in Manchester by the Sea. The hairy actor won the Golden Globe for his work, and is slated to be the frontrunner.

In addition to his accolades as an actor, Affleck is also an alleged sexual harasser, and settled two sexual harassment allegations out of court in 2010, as BuzzFeedreports.

Constance Wu, everyone's dream mom from Fresh Off the Boat, spoke up about what message this sends to the public, and how Affleck seems to face no consequences for his past.

Wu goes in depth, explaining that the Oscar is "an award that honors a craft whose purpose is examining the dignity of the human experience & young women are deeply human."

This year has been huge for sexual harassers, with the election of admitted assaulter Donald Trump signaling to the public that such behavior doesn't matter.

Unlike the experience of the victims, it's super easy for dudes to move on from the experience and collect accolades.

She's been told that speaking out against sexual harassers could hurt her career, which is part of the problem.

Twitter is grateful that she used her platform to bring these issues to the forefront.

It takes courage to speak out, especially when it's mostly dudes who sign the checks.

Woo Wu!

Nine years ago, Christina Jordan of Queen Creek, AZ lived through a humiliating nightmare when she was kicked off a ride at Disneyland because she couldn't fit. With her whole family watching, the 271-lb 25-year-old was forced to get up and walk out. She tells People,

My family and I waited two hours in line for one ride, and we’re hot and cranky. And when we finally go to sit, the seat belt doesn’t fit over me. The poor kid that’s manning the ride says, "I’m sorry ma’am, it doesn’t fit, you’re too large to ride this ride."

And it didn't end there.

I bolted off that ride. And I go to leave, and I couldn’t fit through the people counter. My hips were too wide, so they had to open the gate, and I felt like cattle being brought out to slaughter. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. But it also opened my eyes to the fact that I had to change.

And change she did. Nine years later, the 34-year-old mother of three has lost 134 lbs and kept it off. And because it's 2017, she's also an internet-famous fitness guru, nutritionist, and Instagram star.

In recent years, Jordan has devoted herself to helping others achieve their fitness dreams. And she has a lot to teach them—before her experience at Disneyland, she went through years of anguish as she alternated between overeating and extreme crash diets that never stuck. At one point, a doctor prescribed her a 500-calorie-a-day plan. Unsurprisingly, that didn't work.

It was only when she stopped focusing on losing weight and started concentrating on being healthy that she saw results. Reading up on nutrition, she started eating five or six smaller meals per day, incorporating a lean protein, a complex carbohydrate, and a healthy fat into each. She tells People, "I eat five times more now than when I was obese."

She means "more often," but we won't fault her for being vague. After all, just look at the results.

And now she can enjoy every ride at Disneyland. After waiting a million years in line, anyway.

Bill Kintner, a Nebraska lawmaker already embroiled in a cybersex scandal, has announced his resignation after further backlash following an unquestionably offensive retweet.

After the Women's Marches, Kintner shared the following tweet, originally posted by conservative radio host Larry Elder.

Other state senators quickly denounced Kintner for ridiculing the women and joking about sexual assault, with Senator Kate Bolz saying, "This is an issue about the protection and safety of women," according to local news outlet 1011 Now.

Said Senator Carol Blood, "Please, please, please let us get our work done and please stop making jokes that pertain to women and their bodies."

Kintner had previously "refused to resign" over his cybersex scandal, which came to the public's attention after the woman involved in his "mutual masturbation Skype chat" blackmailed him for $4,500.

Kintner then reported the incident to police and received a $1,000 fine for misusing his state computer.

According to the New York Daily News, Kintner's previous scandals include a 2013 comment: "Women. No one understand them. They don't even understand themselves."

Additionally, he was criticized in 2015 for using the racial slur "wetback" in front of fourth-grade students.

On Wednesday, he held a tearful press conference to say, "To paraphrase Richard Nixon, you won't have Bill Kintner to kick around anymore."

You know things are bad when you're sanctimoniously quoting Richard Nixon.

Finding a fun, creative way to reveal the gender of your baby to your family and friends is one of the great joys of being new parents. Sometimes, however, those creative gender reveals go horribly wrong. (On the up side, baby gender reveal fails are almost always hilarious.) One couple in Nebraska recently caused a stir with their rather, ahem, explosive gender reveal.

Ashley and John Sterkel chose to reveal their baby's gender by blowing up a target that emitted a huge cloud of blue smoke. (It's a boy. Sorry for the spoiler.)

While Ashley and John were cheering, their neighbors were freaking out about an explosion in the area. The Scotts Bluff County Sheriff's Office got a number of calls from concerned residents.

The Sterkels were oblivious to the panic their baby gender reveal caused until they later heard a report about an explosion in the area on a local radio station, and then started seeing some of the reactions of their neighbors on Facebook. (The Omaha World-Herald reports that those reactions ranged from "awesome" to "it scared the dog.")

That's when John Sterkel called the Sheriff's Office to explain what happened. Turns out setting off an explosive without the proper state permit (even if those explosives can be purchased legally in stores without a permit) is actually a misdemeanor punishable by up to one year in prison and a $1000 fine. Yikes. The sheriff has also said that Sterkel is cooperating and that there were no injuries or property damage as a result of the couple's explosive baby gender reveal.

Sterkel also took to Facebook to comment on the explosion. "I would like to apologize for all of the confusion," he wrote, according to the Omaha World-Herald. “This was just our way of announcing what gender our baby was.”

We have a feeling the Sterkels might choose a slightly more subtle way to announce the actual birth of their baby.

Real-life Spider-Men climbed a crane in D.C. to create the most remarkable, powerful photo op and statement against Trump.

The Washington Postreports that seven activists from Greenpeace have climbed a construction crane in downtown D.C., halting traffic. And damn if they didn't select the best crane, bigly.

With great power comes great responsibility.

Here's what it looks like from inside the White House.

Cassady Sharp, a spokesperson for Greenpeace, told The Washington Post that the 35-foot by 75-foot banner was chosen to hang about one-half mile away from the White House “to send a message to the people who are feeling discouraged after just a few days of [President] Trump’s administration.”

This action comes just one day after Trump signed executive orders for the constructions of the Keystone XL and Dakota Access pipelines, which have disastrous consequences for the environment.

Watch the banner unfurl.

One of the protests, Karen Topakian, went live one hundred feet off the ground.

With a situation that has just inspired thousands of strangers to form strong opinions, a woman recently asked the internet whether or not she should tell her husband of 15 years that their teenage daughters aren't his.

"Maury! Maury! Maury!"

While keeping her identity confidential, here is the question she posed to the gawking masses:

"So what should I do?"

I am love married for 15 years now and living happily with my husband and two daughters 14 & 13 years old. He is not their real father and he is not aware of that.

From my college days when I was dating him, I used to have casual sex with guys around. Please don't ask me about counts.

After marriage I became a housewife and was less social. But this didn't change me. I still get to meet guys when my husband was out which included his cousin, friends, laundry man, neighbours etc.

So in short I did it with multiple guys. And I have no regrets, I still do it but less frequently.

When my daughters where 5 & 6 I got their dna tested and as expected came to know he isn't their father. He is a good man though, but I feel if I tell him, he will leave me, and that will affect my daughter’s life financially.

So what should I do ?

So basically, despite how "love married" she was, this woman has slept with any human who has had a reason to ring her doorbell, and the only thing she knows for sure is her kids aren't her husbands.

Her question was viewed thousands of times and inspired every know-it-all to come out of the woodwork. Here's some of the best advice:

1. Shelley Harris, a child welfare worker:

You need to hire an excellent family law attorney and get some sound legal advice. Do this BEFORE you tell your husband of 15 years you have been duping him about your fidelity within the marriage and the parentage of his children.

2. Jaime Mackey, divorcee with "a LOT of experience in this category!"

Well sorry but I'm going to say what others have avoided - shame on you. Your decisions affect more than just yourself and you only look out for you.

Should he know that he's not their father yes, but it's been so long it will crush him and the girls - so does it matter at this point? I would imagine he is dad on birth certificates etc.

However - you must tell the girls especially when they grow up and start having families of their own. This fact will effect their medical history.

3. Guy Lucien, gives the guy's opinion.

Simple answer : Truth be told you said you have NO REGRETS and that line did it for me. ( yes I've read this only 4 times and that's the only thing that stuck out to me ).

Should you tell him ? Yes. A man who's been there for 10+ years for you and your kids deserve all the truths possible. You'd be surprised on how forgiving and naive loving spouses can be in the name of " love and children ". Yes even though they aren't his he deserves to know. Many men that I know don't really care about the biological thing but in your case you're worried about finances - oddly enough you should also tell him that. Quite frankly my dear you are a shitty human being - the 10% of you’s out there give the 90% a bad name.

4. Fiona Dempsey suggests doing some inner work before dropping this bomb.

I guess before I dumped such horrible news on a innocent family, I would examine my motives. My self. And question what is it, about me, that I feel a need to do that? Do I need counselling? Am I a sex addict? Are there sex addict meetings in my area that I can start to attend for free and start looking at my behaviour and perhaps figure out a way to make AMENDS to my family without HURTING them more? Meaning, you do not have the right to peace of mind by dumping a pile of garbage onto unsuspecting family members so you can feel relieved you finally got something “off your chest.” If I was you, I would leave those kids and your husband alone, and you go work on yourself and your harmful behaviour. In private. Make amends by changing yourself.

5. Misty McCloud, who was "recently diagnosed with BPD; Long term depression/anxiety," has an armchair diagnosis for the mom.

1. Have you ever considered the possibility that either you are a psychopath or you have psychopathic traits? Because that is what you sound like from everything that I've read about them. You have absolutely no empathy for your husband, and very little for your daughters. You do exactly as you please with no regard for the consequences and no remorse. You are highly sexualized and extremely reckless. In order to attract these men I'm sure sexuality and charm do the trick.

2. Think I have hit on pretty much all the psychopathic traits I find in your post. Maybe you should get diagnosed. Then, leave your husband with the girls and lead the kind of life you really want to live without hurting them further.

Almost everyone else suggests that she tell the husband, let him take custody of the children, and move on to take advantage of another man. Go get 'em, tiger!

TMZ reports that a stalker who has been harassing Jennifer Lopez and her family for years is now legally permitted to be near her. It's an embarrassing and dangerous situation caused entirely by her security team being unaware of the relevant laws.

Lopez previously had a temporary restraining order against Tim McLanahan, a transient who has been following her between Las Vegas and LA and sending her unsolicited gifts, but it expired. She sought a permanent order, but her team was unable to locate McLanahan to serve him with legal documents. They neglected to show up in court on Tuesday, because they felt there would be no point. As a result, a judge dismissed Lopez's case.

The irony is that the judge could have helped them. There's an official process for cases like this, in which a person who is unable to be located can be legally "served" by publishing a notice in a legal newspaper. TMZ's lawyers believe that if this had been done, the permanent restraining order would easily have been granted.

J. Lo isn't giving up, and her lawyers are currently seeking new avenues to protect her. But they might want to work more closely with the security team in the future. Just to avoid more potentially catastrophic oopsies like this one.

The folks over at the Bad Lip Reading YouTube channel really outdid themselves with their latest video entitled "Inauguration Day: A Bad Lip Reading." The overdub puts words into the mouths of Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Barack Obama and more, and honestly, we are willing to bet that some of the bad lip reading interpretations are not too far off from actual things these people might have said.

Donald Trump has personally puked at a cage fight, Mike Pence is disappointed that no one has found Atlantis yet, and George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton are planning on squeezing the new POTUS. Sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than the actual inauguration.

He won't speak to the press but at least he'll talk to his shrink. Get to know the gentle, thoughtful, only slightly sociopathic side of President Donald Trump. Welcome to Trump Therapy. (Here's No. 1)

A Secret Service agent in Denver, CO wrote a Facebook post basically saying that she'd rather go to jail than "take a bullet" for President Trump, although she never mentions him by name. Oh, and this was before he was President Trump, as the post was written on October 9, according to the Examiner.

The agent is Kerry O'Grady, a senior officer in charge of the Secret Service's Denver office. Her full post read,

As a public servant for nearly 23 years, I struggle not to violate the Hatch Act. So I keep quiet and skirt the median. To do otherwise can be a criminal offense for those in my position. Despite the fact that I am expected to take a bullet for both sides. But this world has changed and I have changed. And I would take jail time over a bullet or an endorsement for what I believe to be disaster to this country and the strong and amazing women and minorities who reside here. Hatch Act be damned. I am with Her.

In an interview with the Examiner, O'Grady said that at the time she posted it, she'd just found out about Donald Trump's fondness for "grab[bing] [women] by the pussy." (You remember, the highlight of the altogether charming leaked Access Hollywood tapes.)

This would not necessarily be an incendiary post were it not for the fact that Secret Service agents are required by law to remain unbiased. Federal employees are subject to the Hatch Act (named for Senator Carl Hatch) of 1939, which prevents certain types of political activities.

For Secret Service employees the restrictions are enhanced, meaning the addition of two rules: the person is not allowed to email about or post content about anything that's either for or against a partisan political group, or even comment on any blog or social media site about a partisan political group.

Although she took it down after a few days, O'Grady's post had already been reported by someone (her Facebook followers included current as well as former Secret Service agents and employees at the time). A source told the Examiner that the Secret Service received a complaint about the post on October 11.

In an interview with the Examiner, O'Grady revealed that she'd deleted the post because she didn't mean to imply that she really wouldn't take a bullet for Trump should it come to that. She said,

It was an internal struggle for me but as soon as I put it up, I thought it was not the sentiment that I needed to share because I care very deeply about the mission.

O'Grady also gave the following statement to the Examiner:

I serve this country with pride and I proudly diligently and fiercely protect and support the institutions and pillars of our republic established by the very same document that allows my free expression. I do so with every fiber of my being for the very reason that those institutions are in place to guarantee my right and the rights of all our citizens to voice and express our opinions and beliefs even when and especially when those values may be contrary to those of the party in power. My devotion to mission and country is only strengthened by the fact that the founders recognize the value of dissent and the freedom to assemble and voice those opposing convictions.

They enshrine those rights for future generations so we avoid the path of authoritarian regimes that shackle their people with fear.

When asked by the Examiner if she felt that expressing her opinions about Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump would have an effect on her job performance, she answered, "I hope you understand that's an emphatic no and I need to make sure that's resoundingly clear and just reinforces that this job needs to done well."