When you place an order at Burger King, you can't be sure what you're going to get. Take, for example, this hot dog.

But according to police in Epping, New Hampshire, customers at a local Burger King knew exactly what they were ordering when they rolled up to the drive-thru during the shifts of two particular employees, Garrett Norris, 20, and Meagan Dearborn, 19. See, Garrett and Meagan had a thriving side business selling marijuana through the drive-thru window. Amazing? Yes. But this story gets even better when you hear the secret codes they used to pull it off.

Customers would pull into the drive-thru and ask for "Nasty Boy" to ensure Garrett was working. "Once it was verified he was working they had to ask for their fries extra crispy," explains the Epping police chief to NH1.com. Of course "extra crispy fries" actually meant "please throw a bag of marijuana in with my Whopper meal, thank you."

Police arrested Garrett, AKA Nasty Boy, and Meagan, his supervisor/co-conspirator last Saturday. Thus, Epping, New Hampshire's golden era of drive-thru pot sales officially came to an end.

The two Burger King employees apparently never put marijuana into the actual food, explaining they sold their pot as a side dish in a separate container. But if they wanted to get creative with their culinary creations, they could probably open a successful drive-thru for hungry stoners in Colorado or Oregon.

Queen Elizabeth visited the University of East Anglia on Friday to see an exhibition on Fijian culture. It was meant to be a joint engagement with her and her husband Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. But due to a scheduling mixup by Buckingham Palace, the 95-year-old Philip was nowhere to be found. As a result, Her Majesty went stag. But when she saw the hot Fijian beefcake that was on display, she didn't seem to mind.

Despite the 40°F temperature, these proud warriors waited patiently for the Queen to arrive, their spines and nipples proudly erect. And the 90-year-old clearly appreciated their sacrifice.

Let's get a closeup.

It's good to be the Queen.

A Twitter user named Anita posted a picture of the backside of a raccoon and, um, people are very titillated and confused.

Forget about what a raccoon is doing a classroom—it's all about that bass.

"I'm losing my mind over these buttcheeks ... this raccoon DUMB thicc," she writes. Using the universal metric for buttcheek quality—proximity to the peach emoji—it appears that this raccoon(!) does have impressive junk in the trunk.

Dayumm.

This raccoon is raising some really challenging questions.

Some people want to yank Twitter's head out of the gutter.

To feel healthy and human again, here's the internet's second favorite butt of the week.

Look, even when wine is bad it's still good because, come on— it's wine. However, if you accidently picked up one of those overly fruity, saccharinely-sweet bottles (or let's be real, boxes) of wine on accident, you don't have to suffer through drinking it. The Huffington Postjust revealed a surprisingly simple life hack that could transform your crappy wine into something delicious just by adding one pinch of something you likely already have in your home.

The trick is from Nathan Myhrvold, Microsoft’s former chief technology officer. Myhrvold recently told the Wall Street Journal that he came up with the trick a few years ago when a California winemaker complained that her wine was tasting too fruity. He added a pinch of salt, which helps to eliminate the excess fruit, tannins and alcohol taste. Myhrvold reported that before long, all of his friends were shaking salt into their drinks.

Nathan Myhrvold's salt trick is just one of many tips that wine-drinkers pass on to others to improve the taste of a bottle of bad wine.

The Wall Street Journal claims that you can drop some saran wrap into a bottle of wine that was contaminated with cork taint to remove the unpleasant musty flavor. Some wine lovers put a penny into a glass of wine that is too sulfurous to remove the "warm, rotten egg smell." Ew. Others believe that putting your red wine in the blender for 30 seconds helps to aerate it, making the wine softer and easier to drink. But hey, let's be real. You're probably going to polish off the bottle even if the wine is nasty.

Let's drink to that.

Ashley Graham's rampage against body-shaming continues, and I'm cheering from the sidelines in an oversized sweater. The plus-sized supermodel recently posted an Instagram pic proudly displaying her cellulite against a backdrop of beach (and cocktails!)—to prove that she is "not ashamed" of "a few lumps and bumps" (or a few cocktails).

"I workout. I do my best to eat well. I love the skin I'm in," she wrote in the caption. "And I'm not ashamed of a few lumps, bumps or cellulite... and you shouldn't be either."

Honestly, this is poetry to me. Not just because it rhymes, but because it is #GOALS.

Ashley Graham has been loud and proud about her body in the face of a lot of internet hate. This past summer when she was called "too skinny" by commenters on an Instagram photo (after years of getting called "fat" and "ugly"), she hit back with an essay in Lenny Letter. "The cycle of body-shaming needs to end," she wrote. "I'm over it."

Okay, to be fair, she's way more modely and less "lumpy" than most of us mortals. But one day, I hope all women have the courage to proudly show off their regular human lumpy, bumpy bodies.

Until then, I'm grateful for oversized sweaters and winter weather.

Wednesday night, Trump participated in the first televised interview of his presidency on ABC with David Muir. During the interview, Trump proudly displayed his White House photos, only, one of those photos had an interesting discrepancy with reality.

Did Trump have his hand enlarged in this photo?

Twitter user Johnny America suspected something was amiss, so he tweeted out a side-by-side photo of the one shown from the White House on ABC, and one found on the internet that appears to have been taken within seconds of the first.

The side-by-side is pretty damning, but this is an incredibly petty thing to accuse our President of, so Photoshopper Cameron Bryce re-scaled the picture on the right to match the one on the left to prove this wasn't just an optical illusion.

"I took this image into photoshop and holy shit lol"

Eesh. Even when giving the picture on the right side the advantage, Trump's hand still appears smaller.

It's clear that some manipulation has been done to the White House photo, but how exactly was it done?

R. Stacey Palmer notes that it's possible Trump's hand appears larger because they shrank Obama.

Here, Joaquin Baldwin created a Gif by matching the exact original version with the edited White House Version.

He claims the editing that took place was a "warp deformer."

Why, Donald, why?

Considering Trump insisted his inauguration crowd was the largest ever despite all evidence to the contrary, its clear that, for The Donald, size really does matter.

Don't be surprised if Sean Spicer is forced to hold a press conference tomorrow explaining that Trump has the biggest hands in all of history.

Good news, gang! We've got another internet puzzle to frustrate you endlessly and slowly make you lose all of your sanity! Wahoo!

Playbuzz user SJoel recently posted a series of photos and instructed the internet to find the cats hiding inside them, leaving a lot of people stumped. See if you can find these little furry ninjas.

Here's an easy one to start out. Can you spot the cat in this closet?

Yup. That's him behind the towels.

Not so bad, right? Well, don't worry. This one will infuriate you. Where's the cat hiding in this barren wasteland?

Do you have a headache from staring at it yet? Okay, we'll put you out of your misery. Here's the cat.

You think that one was bad? Start squinting to find this one, my friends.

Give up? Here's where the cat is hiding.

Honestly, I'm still not sure I see it. Try to find the cats in the rest of these infuriating photos over at Playbuzz.

In less than a day, Dr. Pimple Popper's saga of the man with a cyst on his butt has become one of her biggest viral hits in months. There's something about the Cinderella story of this guy. First he had his cyst biopsied (but not removed) by another doctor with a punch tool, leaving his rear more unsightly than ever. He was forced to visit Dr. Sandra Lee, who successfully drained it of all its liquefied cyst contents. Then in Part 2, she cleaned out the shockingly large hole and sewed it up. And finally, the world could breathe.

But the story wasn't over. Although those videos were only uploaded yesterday, the actual procedure took place weeks ago. Two weeks after it was done, the patient returned to Dr. Lee to have the fluid that had collected in his abscess drained—a routine procedure that she knocked out of the park, as always.

Is this finally the end of the booty cyst that wouldn't die? Don't count on it, popaholics. But probably.

Check out Part 1 here.

And Part 2 here.

Imgur user MixerOfMeows posted pictures of meows he mixed, a bizarrely specific Photoshop request from a friend, to which they obliged, no questions asked.

Friendship is all about embracing one another's skills, and weirdness, too.

And here is the formula for the masterpiece.

+

=

StarTrek Cat Plates are precisely why the internet was invented.

I've long believed chips make the greatest friends. Case-in-Point: Tostitos has released a new chip bag that wants to save you from your own bad decisions. Even my real friends don't always do that!

Frito-Lay's Tostitos partnered up with Uber and Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) to create a "Party Safe" bag that is equipped with sensors to detect traces of alcohol on your breath, USA Todayreports. If the bag senses your breath is too boozy to drive, it blinks with a red "don't drink and drive" message:

And if it senses you're sober enough to drive, it blinks green.

And there's a twist: if you're drunk and it flashes red, you get a $10 Uber discount code. Then, if you touch your phone to the bag, it CALLS AN UBER FOR YOU, Adweek reports.

But if you're sober, sorry, you have to pay for your own Uber. Sucker!

The new Tostitos bag are being offered for a limited time only as part of a plan to keep drunks off the road on Super Bowl Sunday. Because apparently the only thing that can keep drunk sports fans from driving is a bag of chips telling them not to.

A few people have pointed out on Twitter that this is maybe not the BEST idea:

And this guy has a bone to pick with Tostitos, and chips in general:

Great points all around. But I stand by my original point: chips are the best and they care about you more than your friends do.

These are dark times as Donald Trump and his team of deplorables continue to chip away at everything we love about America. Yesterday morning, after Mexican President Peña Nieto made it clear the country will not pay for Trump's border wall, our President promised to implement a 20% tax on all imports from Mexico to pay for it, CNN reports.

Obviously Mexican imports include tequila and avocados, two American faves. So of course, people lost their minds.

Republican Senator Lindsay Graham, who opposes the Mexico tax, tweeted this:

Many others have taken to Twitter to echo the Senator's sentiments. While others have pointed out the problem with freaking out about guac and margs when there are so many worse things happening. And plenty of others made jokes about white women. Luckily, it's justified and we can take it—because unlike our President we have thick skin, like avocados!

Here are some of the best reactions to #GuacamoleGate that are way funnier than that avocado joke I just made:

If a tequila and avocado drought is what it takes to get people to admit electing Trump was a huge mistake, I'll take it.

I'm not sure what it's like at your house, but at my house, I don't often assume that a random cup of beverage sitting out on the counter was intended for me. I tend to drink a beverage if 1) I have made it for myself or 2) someone has asked me if I wanted a beverage and then prepared it for me. But such was not the case with the brother of U.K. makeup enthusiast Niamh McManus.

Man, this story is steeped in drama! (I'm sorry but I had to.) Apparently earlier that day, Niamh had decided to clean her beauty blender, which is a teardrop-shaped foam makeup applicator. For the uninitiated, they look like this:

Amazingly, the beauty blender, when soaked in water, creates a cloudy liquid that kind of look like a mug of breakfast tea with milk in it, which is how they typically take tea in the U.K. But that does not give her brother a free pass because he still stumbled upon a random mug filled with an unknown beverage and decided to drink it without asking anyone! That's a weird thing to do! I hope the lesson that her brother learned from this whole incident is: only drink things that are yours, which you can firmly identify as a liquid meant for drinking. In any event, this story gives me an excuse to say, "I drink your makeup, I drink it up!"

On Friday, President Trump signed an executive order that has closed the U.S. borders to refugees from around the world, as well as placed a temporary suspension on immigrants from seven predominantly Muslim countries, the New York Times reports. President Trump said the action intends to keep out "radical Islamic terrorists," when in actuality, it's a xenophobic and bigoted law that sends a message of hate, intolerance and fear to the rest of the world. One of the recent realizations of the ban's effect is that Oscar-nominated Iranian director Asghar Farhadi will not be able to attend this year's ceremony.

According to The Telegraph, Farhadi was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film for The Salesman, which tells the story of a man seeking revenge on an intruder who attacked his wife while she was alone in their apartment. This isn't Farhadi's first trip to the Academy Awards, either. His film A Separation won two awards in 2012: Best Foreign Language Film (which made it the first Iranian movie to win the award) as well as Best Original Screenplay. In his 2012 speech he spoke of what the award meant to his country, saying that Iranians were celebrating a moment when their rich culture was not shrouded in politics, and war, as it so often is.

In the wake of last year's #OscarsSoWhite outrage, many people are hoping that The Academy to speak out on the incident, but knowing that the dusty old elites that comprise The Academy generally hate to make waves, it's hard to predict what will happen, if anything. Farhadi's story is a case in which it makes obvious that this ban reduces other countries to stereotypes and deepening the divides between the Middle East and the U.S. Unfortunately in our world, it's easier to feel upset over an acclaimed artist being denied entry into the U.S. than a regular person, because we value celebrity. But hopefully Farhadi will serve as an example of all the untapped potential that is being kept from entering the U.S. with the Muslim ban.

When we assume that people who are Muslims are threats, we ignore the vast amount of humanity that exists within these countries and assume the worst of places that are teeming with life that is no more or less valuable than the Christian lives that the ruling gives precedent to. It makes clear that when you attempt to ban terrorists by making blanket assumptions about a culture or religion, you stop many other things in their tracks as well. Consider this one of many wake up calls that hopefully celebrities and Hollywood can use to stand up to President Trump.

Trump has been hard at work this week signing horrendous executive orders and making the White House feel a little bit more like a White home. With regards to the latter, he decided he wanted to hang up a nice historic picture from his first week in office, since everyone has been so happy with his efforts thus far (not!). And of course, he chose to commemorate his inauguration—you know, the one that he forced Sean Spicer to falsely claim was the most well-attended in history, the one that had a mere third of the attendees of the Women's March on Washington that took place the next day.

To forever preserve that moment for posterity, Trump decided to frame a photo of the scene on that rainy day when everyone's nightmares came true. The image even includes some lovely script noting the date of the event, so Trump will never forget the day that he was a whiny little baby who threw a fit when no one came to his party. But wait, look closer. What's that date they have written on there?

Oops, it's January 21st, the date of the largest protest in U.S. history! Hehe, what a funny little mistake. While many people took to Twitter to claim that the picture being used was actually from the Women's March (man wouldn't that have been amazing), Snopes has dismissed that as a false rumor. Nevertheless, having the wrong date on there feels like a tiny taste of some sweet, sweet karma. History will remember that as the more important date, too.

With President Trump's far-reaching executive order suspending immigration from seven Muslim countries and blocking refugees' entrance to the U.S., people are being detained in airports across the country. New York's JFK Airport in particular has become ground zero for the ban's chilling effects, with one woman attempting suicide for fear of being sent back to Chile and two Iraqi war heroes filing a lawsuit against Trump over being held there despite their visas.

These headlines prompted the quick assembly of a protest at JFK's Terminal 4, where a number of such travelers have been detained.

As the ranks of the protest swelled, even members of congress turned out to demand an immediate end to Trump's unconstitutional order.

As of this writing, the protest is still going strong, with no end in sight.

By and large, Trump voters seemed pretty sure that none of his terrible policy proposals would affect them personally. But they may change their tune when the sheer chaos of implementing those bad ideas causes them to miss their flight.