Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

Woman's jaw-dropping hospital pic is why people with ear gauges might regret a pet snake.

0
0

A Portland woman made headlines when her curious little snake got a little too curious around her ear gauge. In late January, Ashley Glawe shared a photo from a hospital emergency room, and it's clearly before the doctors had a chance to get to work.

CURRENT SITUATION... I was holding my #SNAKE and his #DUMB ASS saw a hole, which just so happened to be my fuckin...

Posted by Ashley Glawe on Monday, January 23, 2017

"I was holding my #SNAKE," wrote Glawe, whose post will blow up even more once snakes start trending, "and his #DUMB ASS saw a hole, which just so happened to be my fuckin #EARLOBE, and thought that it would be a bright idea to #ATTEMPT to make it through..."

Her liberal use of hashtags is delightful enough, but her handle on the situation is equally endearing. This is just a "grr, Mondays!" moment for her.

"It all happened SO fast that before I even knew what was going on it was already too late. Now #BelieveItOrNot I'm sitting here in the #EmergencyRoom with #BART #STUCK in my fucking #EAR..."

Not sure what procedure the doctors will use to remove the snake, but you gotta hope they give that job to a first year resident.


James Corden secretly filmed himself at the airport to make a point about refugees.

0
0

The Late Late Show with James Corden usually focuses on singing rather than politicking, but in the wake of President Donald Trump's Muslim ban, Corden felt he couldn't simply just lip sync in a car as usual.

Covertly filming his journey through the airport as a privileged white man, Corden took the opportunity to make a powerful statement about freedom of movement.

After he boards his flight, a card reads:

President Trump has yet to tweet, "Failing James Corden refuses to accept my discriminatory orders? Fat and overrated!"

25 of the funniest women on Twitter this week: Protests, flirting, lyrics, and more!

0
0

Jokes about protests, flirting, Shazam, and more, in the 25 funniest tweets by women this week!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

J.K. Rowling brilliantly sasses Twitter troll who threatened to burn her books and movies.

0
0

Haven't the Twitter trolls learned not to mess with J.K. Rowling yet? Yet another troll has been burned by the Harry Potter creator. J.K. Rowling had this to say to a Twitter user who was upset by an article they read about her and said they would burn her books and movies:

It's unclear what Yahoo article prompted the user's tweet, but they certainly seem to have gotten their panties in a bunch over it.

However, our girl J.K. does not back down from Twitter trolls, so she shot back with this response: "Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I've still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter."

Savage.

Rob Lowe has a weirdly specific set of requirements for his personal assistant.

0
0

Rob Lowe is in need of a new personal assistant, or so it would seem according to this job listing on a site for personal assistants (which sources tell TMZ is definitely for Rob Lowe). The job reportedly pays $70,000 a year, but Lowe's got a very particular set of requirements:

—Never assume anything

—Ensure the CLIENT [Rob Lowe] is fed and has coffee throughout the day

—Schedule haircuts every episode for the CLIENT

—Ensure that the CLIENT HAS A DINNER PLAN IF ARRIVING HOME LATER THAN 8 PM in the evening

—Make sure you let Estate staff know if the CLIENT wants a Jacuzzi turned on or a massage ordered for his arrival

—Willing to travel on location as requested and serve as the CLIENT'S body man

—Able to lift up to 25 pounds as required to support THE CLIENT

It's questionable, though, whether or not this listing could possibly for a job with Rob Lowe since Lowe probably weighs more than 25 pounds. Confusing.

Lowe's team tells TMZ that this is not for him, but they did admit that "We can confirm coffee is his number one priority in life."

Miss Universe gets revenge on Steve Harvey by lovingly trolling him.

0
0

Last year, Steve Harvey made the embarrassing mistake of crowing Miss Colombia Ariadna Gutierrez Miss Universe 2015 over the rightful winner, Miss Philippines Pia Wurtzbach. This year, Wurtzbach made certain that history wouldn't repeat itself by pranking Harvey with a tongue-in-cheek gift that helped him read the correct name off the card this time.

Before announcing this year's winner, Wurtzbach came on stage in a brilliant royal blue ball gown and handed Harvey a pair of thick, framed reading glasses. Revenge is sweet, and so is Pia Wurzbach.

"Thank you so much Pia," Harvey said as the crowd roared with laughter. "A year late, but thank you."

It is great that Wurtzbach can look back on Harvey's embarrassing snafu and laugh, because at the time the mistake caused a lot of ire for the former Miss Universe. Mashable reports that Wurtzbach was on the receiving end of a lot of hate from many angry Colombians who blamed her for Harvey's infamous botch. She now takes the messy experience in stride, even jokingly thanking Steve Harvey for making her "the most popular Miss Universe."

In the end, Miss France won the coveted title of Miss Universe, and Miss Haiti snagged the first runner-up position. Viewers breathed a collective sigh of relief as Harvey signed off the show by saying, "I'm Steve Harvey and I got it right!"

Current 'Celebrity Apprentice' host thinks the former host is making the U.S. look 'stupid.'

0
0

After previously sparring over ratings, former governor of California and current Celebrity Apprentice host has some words for former Celebrity Apprentice host and current President of the United States.

In an interview with Mario Lopez on Extra, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the rollout of Donald Trump's controversial Muslim ban. It's extra.

“I think the real problem is that it was vetted badly. If they would run this by the Justice Department and Homeland Security, and had the lawyers really study and focus on it and give it some time to do it the right way," he said (via Variety).

“To go and ban people who have a green card, that means that the United States of America has given you permission to work here permanently and you are on the way to permanent citizenship. … I was in that position. … It’s crazy. It’s crazy and makes us look stupid when the White House is ill-prepared to put this kind of executive order out there,” he added.

Note: It's not the principle of discriminating by religion and national origin that Schwarzenegger calls out, but rather the "hasty" way in which the administration issued it.

Schwarzenegger himself is an immigrant from Austria, but was not subject to "extreme vetting," even though the Terminator is pretty scary.

But, coming from a white country, the Schwarzenegger has the freedom to travel. He knows that every time he leaves, he'll be back.

Woman tweets grocery store because her bananas weren't supposed to come with a corpse.

0
0

A UK woman reached out to her local Aldi grocery store because her bunch of bananas came with a kind of disturbing addition. A heartbreaking, mummified, would-have-been-cute dead frog.

Aldi responded requesting a DM from the shocked shopper, but Mashable asked them for a few more details.

"Incidents such as this are very rare," they said, "but naturally can occur on fresh produce items. We have spoken to Ms. Todd to apologise and are establishing the background to her claims."

For her part, Todd told Mashable that at first she "thought it was a slug."

"My first thought was poor little thing!"

This is by no means the first time a little creature's been found in some arguably too-fresh produce. But lest your heart continue to break, sometimes they actually survive the experience.

Still can't get over the extra pressie inside the grapes.......look closely 󾌴󾌴󾌴󾌴

Posted by Leanne Preedy on Thursday, October 8, 2015

Love makes you do crazy things like actually care about the Super Bowl.

Inexperienced guy thinks girlfriend has a fart fetish. Boy was he wrong.

0
0

If there was ever a cautionary tale calling for good sex ed, it would have to be this guy's utter failure to understand how a woman's body works, and how it led him to a dark and farty place.

Yesterday, reddit user AskMeAboutMyTie posted his tale of youthful ignorance entitled, "Today I fucked up by not knowing what a queef was."

Here is the story in his own words:

This did not happen yesterday, but about 10 years ago when I was in my sexual prime. So at this time in my life, I had already had sex with a small handful of girls. Being only 18, I thought I was hot shit. My life consisted of throwing parties at my parents vacant mansion and sex. Every 18 year olds' dream right? Well at one of my parties a group of college girls showed up (I was still a senior in high school) and the hottest girl of the college group was giving me vibes that she wanted to get it on. One thing let to another and we head up stairs..

Everything started off normal, foreplay and what not, when I finally got her naked I spread her legs so I could go down on her (I like to be a gentlemen and please the girl first). As soon I get down to that region she lets out the smallest "toot". Confused, I looked back up at her and she is still in a moaning bliss waiting for me to start as nothing happened. "Did she just fart on me?" I thought to myself. She was still begging for it so I shrugged my shoulders and we got it on.

Pretty lucky dude, having access to a mansion and getting the attention of college chicks.

But then, he takes advice from his really dumb friends.

Fast forward a week and we're now kind of "dating," still having sex at least twice a day like new couples do. And each time she would let out a small "toot." I liked her a lot and didn't want to freak her out by asking her about it, so I decided to go to my friends (bad idea). They proceed to tell me that she's known as being a "freak" in bed and I just need to along with it.

So this is him "going along with it."

Ok here's when the actual fuck up happens... so that night we start fooling around and this time she wants to go down on me first. She's giving me the typical BJ when she goes down a little further for a little ball play... that's when I cock my legs up and release the biggest fart I could muster. I swear her hair flew back as if she had her face in front of a fan. She immediately stops what she's doing and looks back at me in disgust. I smiled with pride and said "that's all for you babe."

No. No no no no no no no.

She locked herself in my bathroom and cried until she let me call one of her friends to come pick her up.

TL;DR: Didn't know what a queef was and thought my girlfriend was farting during sex as a fetish. I returned the "favor" by farting in her face when she was going down on me.

Even if it wasn't a queef, who thinks one tiny fart is a sex fetish? Its almost impossible to believe anyone can be that stupid, but you have to give him credit for his willingness to please a woman in bed. And it did turn out well for him, because, according to his story, that victim of his massive fart ended up becoming his wife.

Chrissy Teigen shuts down Twitter troll who dared to shame her for IVF.

0
0

At the 28th Annual Producers Guild Awards red carpet on Saturday, model Chrissy Teigen (who seemed as though she'd rather be protesting Trump's immigration ban at LAX, because that's just the kind of awesome celebrity she truly is) told Entertainment Weeklythat her next child would be a boy. She knows because after she and husband John Legend (whom she was there supporting) had their baby, Luna Simone, they still had one embryo"on ice," leading Teigen to say, "I assume it's the boy."

But being asked about her plans for kids is really not Teigen's favorite thing, and after she sent out two tweets on Monday reiterating her red carpet comments, she took a moment to burn a troll on Twitter, because that's how she rolls.

A woman named Linda took it upon herself to "baby police" Teigen, asking her if took "a minute to try naturally." Wow, nosy much, lady? Anyway, Teigen wrote back to the complete rando, "Hi Linda, thanks for asking, you complete witch. I tried for about 9 years. Anything else, let me know!"

Lol, you want some salve for that burn, Linda?

As Teigen explains in this clip from 2015, it's not really anyone else's business whether or not a couple is planning to have kids. She complains about how nosy people can be, without taking into consideration the fact that the couple may have their own private struggles (or even just not want to talk about it).

Just being two years into being married, the questions just come from all over. And it's kind of crazy, because I can't imagine being that nosy, to be like, "So, when are the kids coming?," because who knows what somebody is going through. Who knows if somebody is struggling to have children.

I will say, honestly, John and I were having trouble, we would have had kids five, six years ago if it happened, but my gosh, it's been a process. We've seen fertility doctors…and then once you open up about all those things to other poeple, you start learning that a lot of other people in your life are seeing these people, and they have this shame about it. So anytime somebody asks me if I'm going to have kids, I'm like, "One day, you're going to ask that to the wrong girl who is really struggling, and it's going to be really hurtful to them. And I hate that. So I hate it. Stop asking me!

So yeah, everyone pump the brakes on those nosy baby questions to strangers!

Mom rents a Redbox movie, finds a generous surprise from a kind stranger.

0
0

In these troubling times, stories of kind strangers will be what saves us from spiraling into madness over the state of the world. (Well, stories of kind strangers and videos of snoring dogs.) Here's one to get us started.

Twitter user @lifeaslizz_ recently tweeted photos of a note (and $100 in cash!) her mom found in a Redbox DVD case.

The note reads:

Hello!

My name is Marcos. Every month I take $100.00 that I would normally spend on myself and give it away to a stranger. This month I decided to change it up and put it in a Redbox DVD. You are the first giveaway of 2017! I just ask that you put the money to good use. If you don't need it, give it away. If you need it, keep it.

Have a great day!

-Marcos

"My mom was just hoping to relax & enjoy a movie, but instead God blessed her with more. Marcos whoever you are, God bless you," Liz wrote.

Liz's tweet quickly went viral. It currently has over 30,000 retweets and over 95,000 likes. People love a good Redbox angel.

We need more people like Marcos in the world. Keep being good to each other. (And keep watching puppy videos.)

Restaurant slammed for 'racist' help wanted sign. But was it an ironic misunderstanding?

0
0

Business at Kenny's Home Cooking in Spartanburg, SC has ground to a halt following outrage about a racist'help wanted' sign placed on its front door last week. As KYFF reports, would-be customers posted photos of the sign on Twitter and Facebook, where they went viral. Soon, a call to boycott Kenny's was spreading across the internet. When you see the sign, you'll understand why.

Traci Fant Really??? A sign that reads "Help wanted...minorities need not apply"...in 2017!!! Don't spend your money where your skin is not wanted! Kenny's Homecooking Restaurant Spartanburg SC... #boycott

Posted by ReShay Drummond on Saturday, January 28, 2017

Meanwhile, the "Make America Great Again" crowd praised the restaurant's bold move.

The staff of Kenny's was completely shocked to suddenly find themselves at the center of America's culture war. And none of them moreso than the owner, Japanese-American immigrant Sook "Sue" Shin. She claims her husband, who is Korean, bought the sign online. Because neither of them speak English as their first language, they confused the word "minorities" with "minors."

Sook "Sue" Shin.

Shin took down the sign and replaced it with a handwritten apology.

Dear Customers. I am the owner Sue. I am really sorry for the sign that posted eariler [sic]. I didn’t know what it meant. After I know, I took it off immediately. English is not my first language. And I never thought about it again. I sincerely apologize for everything.

But business has been slow to return to Kenny's. Many locals don't buy the apology. After all, even though Shin isn't, most of the staff are fluent English speakers. Wouldn't one of them have pointed out the problem with the sign to her? Is she such an intimidating boss that nobody dared mention it?

Regardless of the explanation, the real sufferers are the employees, whose tips have dried up, and who may be out of a job if this doesn't blow over.

Here's the full report from KYFF.

Cute couple snaps picture in the same pose for every state of their relationship.

0
0

Twitter has fallen in love with the lifelong lovebirds who met in middle school and recreated their classic photos at important moments: from the middle school Avril Lavigne-era to prom night to wedding day.

Daphne and Marcos live in Houston, Texas and also our hearts. Behold:

Awkward tweens.
Not-so-awkward teens.
Glorious bride and groom.

It's just so beautiful.

As the kids say, "Goals AF."

This is so moving. Especially sine my middle school boyfriend and I—a poster of Titanic-era Leonardo DiCaprio—are still together. I know we're meant to be.

Girl shares painful video to demonstrate why you shouldn't 'slut drop' over a metal pole.

0
0

Bonnie Lee Brown, a young woman from the UK, was getting ready for a fun night out with her friends this past weekend when she misjudged a dance move, resulting in tragedy. She was shaking her stuff to Whitney Houston's "Greates Love of All," and tried to pull off a "slut drop." But that's a risky move even on a wide-open dance floor, and she was in a tiny bedroom. Even worse, she didn't realize she was standing over a shoe stand with sharp metal poles on it. You can probably guess what happened next.

Ouch!

But despite the pain, Brown saw the humor in her mishap. She uploaded the video to Twitter, where it immediately went viral (no surprise there). Friends and well-wishers offered their support in her time of need.

But of course, some louts came forward to make dumb jokes at her expense.

In the end, she got tired of all the questions. After all, she (and her butt) had been through a lot.

A true warrior lives to dance another day. Thank you for sharing, Ms. Brown.


Did Drake break up with Jennifer Lopez for this retired porn star?

0
0

Just when I had settled into the reality of Drake and J.Lo as a thing, suddenly they may not be a thing anymore. It's almost as if celebrity relationships are fallible and/or fabricated to get us to buy stuff!?!?!? SAY IT AIN'T SO.

ICYMI: Drake was supposed to have been dating Jennifer Lopez for some time now. It was even INSTAGRAM-OFFICIAL which in 2017 is basically an engagement. Once you put a filter on it, you're telling the world: "SHE/HE/THEY ARE MINE."

But just last week, everyone's favorite Canadian rapper was spotted on a "romantic date" with a porn star named Rosee Divine, the Daily Mail reported. And there are photos to prove it!!!!!!!

Maybe they are just.... friends? LOL.

We don't know much about Rosee Divine, whose real name is Aubrey Graham (JK that is Drake's real name), except that according to her website, she is 27 and a painter. And according to her Twitter bio, she is French, retired, and an "enthusiastic artist."

Can't argue with that, I mean just check out some of her work:

She is quiteenthusiastic on Instagram as well.

Divine may be an artist now, but she has become very popular on PornHub since going on a date with Drake. According to PornHub Insights, searches for her name have skyrocketed 2656% on January 25th, making her the most popular porn star on the site.

I'd be happy for her, because everyone deserves their 15 minutes. Except that she's possibly tearing Drake away from J.Lo, when he's actually supposed to be with Rihanna who he bought a billboard for and has "been in love with since I was 22."

....okay, fine, I'll stop obsessing over who celebrities choose to date or not date as a way to distract from an emotional void in my own life. JK I WILL NEVER STOP DOING THAT.

Drake + Rihanna 4-ever.

Airport security demands nursing mom squeeze her breast to prove she's lactating.

0
0

A nursing mother named Gayathiri Bose was traveling to Paris from Frankfurt alone when airport security in Frankfurt became suspicious of her breast pump. According to the BBC, since Bose was traveling without a baby, a female officer demanded that she open her shirt and squeeze her breast to prove that she was, indeed, lactating.

The 33-year-old Singaporean mom of two kids was stopped at the security screening station on her way to board a flight to Paris. She put her carry-on bag (in which she'd stashed her breast pump) through the X-ray machine, and was then taken aside by airport security agents for questioning. Speaking with the BBC, Bose said, "[They had] an incredulous tone. 'You are breastfeeding? Then where is your baby? Your baby is in Singapore?'," she said.

They reportedly held onto her passport and escorted her to a room where a female police officer asked her to demonstrate that she was lactating.

In an interview with the BBC, Bose said,

She asked me to open up my blouse and show her my breast. She then asked how come I didn't have anything attached to my breast, if I was lactating and expressing breastmilk. And I said, there is no such thing that is [permanently] attached, we usually place the pump to our nipple and the machine does the job. She wanted me to show her by hand-expressing a little.

Holy invasion of privacy, Batman! But Bose complained with the female officer, and squeezed her own breast. She explained,

I was just in shock, I was going through the motions. I was all by myself as well, and wasn't sure what would happen to me if they decided to make trouble for me. It was only when I came out of the room that I began to slowly understand what had just happened. I just started to cry, I was terribly upset.

Bose classified the screening as "humiliating" and "very traumatizing," and said she has thought about pursuing legal action. She added, "While I do respect the need to do security checks on items that may seem suspicious, to outrage a person's modesty is definitely crossing the line."

For their part, the Frankfurt police deny the incident even happened, telling the BBC via email that yes, Ms. Bose had been stopped when there was a question about whether her breast pump could be an explosive device, but no, she was not made to show that she was actually lactating. The email stated that the female officer was the mother of two children herself. They concluded, "We deny the allegation that the passenger was asked to prove her ability to breastfeed."

This third-grader's breakdown of 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' is hilariously elegant.

0
0

We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf, right?

Recently, reddit user starknolonger had a teacher friend who assigned her third grade class an assignment on that story, and asked them to break down how the story went.

If you did it in your head, you would add in a whole bunch of details, like the responsibility the boy had for taking care of his sheep, and how he was supposed to lookout for wolves, and when he cried wolf for attention he lost the trust of the community, and the moral of the story is that you should never lie, and etc.

But a child in the class, with all the world's elegant simplicity, wrote this:

It's too perfect.

Somehow, this 8-year-old nailed the whole story by rearranging only three words.

It is said that "brevity is the soul of wit," but if this third-grader had written it, it would be: brevity --> wit.

This woman received 65 marriage proposals. She rejected all of them.

0
0

There is a movie just waiting to be written about this woman. The New York Timesrecently published a profile of Mary Landon Baker, a Chicago socialite who reportedly received 65 marriage proposals during her lifetime. She never got married.

The Times reports that Baker gained the attention of newspapers all over the world in the early 1920s after repeatedly leaving her fiancé, Allister McCormick at the altar.

While reporters called her "the shy bride," her romantic pursuits in the years that followed suggest otherwise. The Times says that she dated numerous men on two continents throughout the 1920s, including but not limited to an English Lord, an Irish prince, a well-to-do Spaniard, a Yugoslav diplomat, and the actor Barry Baxter.

Mary Landon Baker was a "dollar princess" (an heiress whose wealth made her an eligible bachelorette all over the world) and spent her time partying it up at pirate parties and dancing with Romanian princes.

Does anyone else kind of love her? I kind of love her.

The Times profile goes on to say that though Mary Landon Baker was a mere 61 years old when she passed away in 1961, she had received 65 marriage proposals by the time of her death. 65! (That's more than one proposal per year of life, gang.) And she rejected all of them!

I don't know about you guys, but I am fascinated. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go start writing a screenplay about her.

You can read the Times' full profile on Baker here.

Dr. Pimple Popper squeezes pure ivory goodness from a cyst on this woman's sensitive area.

0
0

Dr. Sandra "Pimple Popper" Lee is like a therapist—patients bring her their most sensitive problems, and she treats them with discretion, compassion, and professionalism. And sometimes, those problems include large cysts on their private bodily areas. Today's patient came to Dr. Lee with a cyst on her breast, but today she barely has a scar left. And as an added bonus, the video of the extraction is extremely satisfying.

Skip to 1:10 to see the moment of poppage.

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images