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You're more than welcome to watch the Super Bowl at my place while I drink wine in the other room.


Mom struggling with depression writes viral open letter to the Walmart employee who made her day.

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One mom has gone viral after opening up about her struggle with depression. A Walmart cashier recently told mom of two Cierra Fortner that she seemed like she had it all together. After hearing those kind words, Fortner wrote a brutally honest post on Facebook to admit that while she may seem like she's always put together on the outside, that isn't always the case.

Today I was at Walmart doing my weekly Friday shopping when the cashier says to me "I see you in here all the time, your...

Posted by Cierra Lyn Fortner on Friday, January 20, 2017

Her post reads:

Today I was at Walmart doing my weekly Friday shopping when the cashier says to me "I see you in here all the time, your kids are always dressed cute, behaving and you just seem to have it all together" at the time I just thanked her and giggled because that's far from the truth but as I drove home there was more I wanted her to know about me.

I want her to know I battle a personality disorder everyday with anxiety and depression mixed and I'm a two times suicide survivor.

I want her to know that I can't always get myself up off the couch to feed them anything more than frozen pizza and cereal.

I want her to know that my son is late for school 3 out of 4 days because I regularly forget what day and time it is, despite the toddler size calendar in my kitchen.

I want her to know I have those "I'm losing my shit" moments when I have to lock myself in the bathroom and cry.

I want her to know I wasn't always the most active mom because I use to work 80 hours a week and go to school full time and Jayce spent many days and nights with his grandparents.

I want her to know that I hadn't washed my hair in 3 days and my kids hadn't had a bath in 2.

I want her to know that I was trying to hurry out of there because I had forgot the diaper bag at home and Brenton was hungry.

I want her to know that once we got to the parking lot the "well behaved" child decided to stand up in the cart and I wasn't paying attention and barely caught him as he almost hit the concrete.

But most importantly I want her to know I don't have it together and may never have it all together. I don't know a mother out there that has it all together but everything we do is done with love for our children and that right there makes you the perfect mom and in our children's eyes we most definitely have it all together.

From one exhausted mom to another, you're doing great, have that melt down, let your kids eat the crap out of that cereal and take care of yourself always.

The post has since gone viral, with many other moms (and non-moms) voicing their support for Fortner. Since she posted it on January 20, the post has been shared around 163,000 times.

"Mommies feel it a lot," Fortner told The Kansas City Star, "like they have to keep it together. Like if we don’t keep it together we’re failures. But it’s OK to have your moments to break."

Keep up the good work, moms!

Tinder girl promises her pics 'get uglier if you keep scrolling.' Boy does she deliver.

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Imgur user justastar recently encountered a young woman on Tinder whose profile was so hilariously self-deprecating, he had no choice but to swipe right. (Also, she's good-looking, which couldn't hurt.) The 19-year-old had set her bio to read "My photos get uglier if you keep scrolling." As you can see, she did indeed post less and less flattering pics. By the final photo, she's making a hilariously derpy face you'll never be able to forget.

The people of Imgur rallied to support this brilliant young woman. In less than a day, justastar's post (which was titled "Swiped right for humour") had received more than 10,000 points, and been viewed more than 400,000 times. Everyone agreed: this one is a keeper.

You hear that, ladies? If you want to date a guy on Imgur, be funny. But please don't date guys on Imgur.

Babysitters share the most inappropriate things parents have ever asked them to do.

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When you're a babysitter, you are privy to the inner workings of another family's life. Most times those differences can just be chalked up to different parenting styles, but some parents treat their babysitters like unpaid servants, therapists, and even sometimes as sexual options.

Here are seven of the worst cases of parents making completely inappropriate requests as shared by former babysitters.

1. Amorette Dye shared the most common inappropriate request we saw: corporal punishment.

I would say the MOST inappropriate thing I was asked to do was hit the children. It was never, ever, ever going to happen, but I knew in the first, like, minute and a half of that job that I’d never be back.

2. Gigi J Wolf was a 13-year-old who narrowly avoided becoming part of a husband's babysitter fantasy.

I’d been babysitting a small child and the hubby came home before his wife did. He sat down on the couch next to me, but didn’t send me home like he should have.

After a short time, he LAY down, and put his head in my lap. I was flabbergasted. Was a man supposed to do this? Was this something they’d neglected to teach me in Home Ec?

He talked on, not doing anything weirder than that, and I sat there, in a most dire state of mind.

My knees and legs started shaking. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, I didn’t know what to say, or where to look. We didn’t have the television shows kids see today, so my knowledge of sex in any city was severely limited.

I’m pretty sure I told him I was uncomfortable, his wife came home not long after, and I got up and went home. I’m fairly sure my mom made sure I had proper undergarments after that.

And I’m glad I wasn’t asked to fulfill anyone’s adult fantasies of being diapered.

3. Jay Best was a rare male babysitter who has a tale of extreme '80s irresponsibility.

Look after a baby (nappies, bottle fed etc), for an entire night, and without pay, at the age of 8 years old. :)

I did a bit of baby sitting, and had asked to look after a baby, so I rode my bike about 15km to get to their place, the kid was a lot younger than I had been used to looking after, and she showed me how to change the nappies etc.

Then she left, didn't really say when she was back, so I fell asleep on the couch, woke up a few times and checked on the baby.

It was the 80s so no mobile phones and I just sort of assumed this is what I was supposed to do.

She turned up about 8am the next morning, thanked me for the babysitting and I sort of waited awkwardly till I realised I wasn't getting paid, so rode back home.

In retrospect, that is some next level irresponsibility, even by 80s standards.

I also still don't get how she thought that it wouldn't be paid…

4. This art school freshman who has chosen to remain anonymous worked for a rich French couple who were a little too French.

It started off with little things… In order to explain to me how to mix the milk in the baby bottle, the mom said “well, there are two ways, you can either have it roll in your hands, or give it a hand job*mimic an actual sexual act*”

In the kitchen, they had those nice glass containers on the counter where they stored all sorts of dry food. One night, asking the parents what they wanted me to make for dinner, the father pointed a container filled penis-shaped pastas. He added “but don’t let them cook too long, they tend to get…too soft *wink*”

And the last thing, is the funniest.

I was babysitting late for them one night. Before they left for their evening, as the parents were busy taking care of the baby, they asked me if I would mind playing a board game with their oldest son (9 years old) in the living room to keep him busy. I said alright, and we settled in that giant upper class living room to play UNO. The apartment was always extremely tidy, on the table was nothing but a piece of paper. With a shopping list that read :

“things to do today :

-buy diapers

-buy eggs

-call babysitter

-lil’ blowjob to hubby

I sloooooooowly moved a crayon to cover the last line, worried that the kid playing cards with me would notice what it said. And I had an internal laugh :)

5. 12-year-old Rose Coyle was forced to managed the parents' awkward domestic disputes.

In the late 60s, when I was 12 and beyond, I sat for someone down the street who was referred to as the ‘divorcee.’ That was uncommon in our town in the midwest and in most places in America for that matter. She told me each time that if her ex-husband showed up to the house that I was never ever supposed to let him in no matter how much he pounded on the door. “What?…”

6. Kelleth Ramir was put on bathroom duty with some overly-close pre-teen siblings.

The younger of the two is 9 years old, and we shall call her Bailey. The elder is 11, and will be called Justin. Bailey and Justin’s parents are excellent people, but still struggle to help their kids develop and become more mature. I can tell because they legitimately asked me to make sure I separated them while they got ready for bed because otherwise, they'd strip totally naked in front of each other, and use the bathroom in front of each other (to add to it, they never closed the door, flushed, or washed their hands). I mean, shouldn't privacy already be a natural need for them by now? Wouldn't brother-sister relationships be less intimate and overt?

So as I watched Bailey start taking off her clothes - in the open living room while Justin and I were still in it - Justin thought it was a good idea to start taking off his clothes too. You wouldn't understand how gross it felt to me to have to physically force two half-naked children into separate rooms while they were not cooperating. And after they returned from their nightly routines, they were angry at me because I had interrupted their supposed normalcy.

7. And finally, the weirdest and worst request happened to Kimber McLaughlin, who was instructed to treat an adopted child as a less-than.

The children were two five year olds within a few months age of each other. One was adopted.

The parents told me that their biological son, X, was allowed to play Grand Theft Auto in his bedroom for as long as he wanted (well into the night) and that they had a stash of candy for just him and there were no restrictions. Yes, he was a brat.

But then the parents told me about the other 5-year-old, Y, who they adopted a few months prior. They actually told me “he’s not allowed to leave the living room, because he’s adopted”

And that was their only reasoning. Their only explanation.

Because he’s adopted.

Y had to stay in the living room and just watch TV while X, the biological son of his new parents, played video games in his own bedroom.

It was shocking and to this day I can’t fathom or understand those people’s reasoning…

Also, I can’t imagine what else he was denied or how else his treatment was altered just because he was adopted.

It's crazy what some parents will let babysitters know about their families, but if you care about your kids, the least you could do is be totally normal and nice to your babysitters before you leave them alone with your children.

Some Comics: Trump Therapy, Session 3

Twitter jubilantly reacts to the news Beyoncé is pregnant.

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Well, the news is out—Beyoncé Knowles is pregnant with twins! She's doing this for us, the American people. She knows how much we need this right now. Thank you, Beyoncé.

Here's how Twitter congratulated Beyoncé on her pregnancy.

Dr. Pimple Popper isn't done with her mega-viral 'booty cyst' patient yet.

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In less than a week, Dr. Pimple Popper's "booty cyst" patient has become a massive internet phenomenon. Popaholics just can't get enough of the disgusting-yet-captivating inflamed cyst on this guy's butt cheek. And because she's as good at going viral as she is at dermatology, Dr. Lee is taking full advantage. She cut her original video into two parts, and then posted a followup video in which she drained fluid from the abscess two weeks later. But a cyst of that size will generate some serious fluid, so now he's back for more. If you've come this far on his journey, you might as well watch this one.

Let's hope this man heals quickly. As fun as it's been, this adventure can't go on forever.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL: Beyoncé is pregnant.

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I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Beyoncé is pregnant, and we're pretty sure she is expecting twins. The mom to 5-year-old Blue Ivy Carter posted this photo to Instagram on Wednesday, announcing that her family would be "growing by two."

OMG you guys!! Maybe 2017 won't be so terrible after all! Congrats to Beyoncé and Jay Z on the two buns in the oven.


7-year-old annihilates bigot at supermarket who said gay people end up in hell.

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Sometimes the only way to be sure you've taught your kids right is when some idiot stranger tries to teach them differently. Take for example, the story of this dad in Bath, England, whose 7-year-old totally stood up to a homophobe who couldn't mind his business while waiting in line at the grocery store.

As the dad explains on Not Always Right, he took his son shopping to buy birthday presents for a girl in his class. They got her a wand, tiara, and jewelry for her to play dress-up, so while waiting in line the son put them on and pretended to be a queen. Unfortunately, that was just too much for the jerk in the next line over.

Son:*in a “posh” voice* “I’m the Queen and I say this line should move faster!”

(I and a few others smile at his playfulness when a man in line at the next till yells at me.)

Man:“You can’t let your son do that. If he turns into a f****t it’ll be your fault.”

(Everyone stops and stares at him in horror whilst the cashiers call for a manager.)

Son:“What’s a f****t?”

Me:“It’s a nasty word that only nasty people use so you mustn’t say it.”

Man:“It means gay, kid.”

Son:“What’s gay?”

Man:“It means you’re bad and going to Hell for being evil.”

Me:“It’s when a man loves a man and a lady loves a lady.”

Son:“Oh, like Uncle James and Uncle Ian?”

Me:“Yep, just like Uncle James and Uncle Ian. They’re not bad, are they?”

(My brother is a paediatric oncologist and his partner is a paediatric nurse. We’ve tried to explain what cancer is and how my brother and his partner make children feel better when they’re poorly.)

Son:“My uncles make children better when they have poorly blood and poorly bones. If you make them go to Hell that means you want the children to be poorly.”

(The manager and a security guard turn up but my son looks this man in the eye and holds his stare.)

Son:“Do you want the children to be poorly? Do you want them to be sick and have to go to Heaven?”

(Everyone is now staring at my son. The man has gone red and is looking around.)

Manager:“Sir, I believe you’ve just been outwitted by a child. You should leave now and keep your disgusting views to yourself and out of my shop.”

Bye, bye, bigot.

Granted, not all gay people should have to save lives to live peacefully among their peers, but if this is how it needs to be explained to a grown idiot in a checkout line, so be it.

I can't wait to use your couch as a napkin during your Super Bowl Party.

Trump still needs a White House pet. Here are the likeliest candidates.

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Donald Trump is an outlier in many ways— from his unconventional campaign to his unorthodox presidency, the current president definitely likes to break the mold. He may also break with convention by being the first president without a pet in the White House in the last 150 years. Sad!

Most of our forefathers had four-legged friends alongside them as the ruled the free world. Some notable pets include John Adams' dog named Satan (sorry Donald, no copying), Abraham Lincoln's turkey and Calvin Coolidge's menagerie of animals, including a Pygmyhippopotamus, a black bear, and a duiker.

Surely there has to be some animal that would be excited to greet President Trump every day and cuddle up on the spot of his lap usually reserved for Russian cocktail waitresses. Here are some suggestions that would be fitting of our president:

A goldfish that is actually made out of gold.

You don't even have to remember to feed it.

Iago, the parrot from Aladdin.

Also to serve as an advisor.

"Newt" Newt Gingrich.

Put the man in a tank or a lizard on a tie— they're both equally slimy.

His hair.

It really does have a mind of its own.

One of the grizzly bears Betsey DeVos was talking about.

It's a rescue.

Chris Christie

It's also a rescue.

A pissed-off bald eagle.

"Caw! Resist!"

An actual mule from Moscow.

It's a gift from Vlad.

A pet rock that is actually a pet diamond.

Suck it, hippies.

Melania's crocodile skin shoes.

Hey, it was an animal once.

A camel with a whole lot of straws on its back.

No really, it's gonna break one of these days. We swear!

One of those things that crawled out of the swamp when he "drained it."

Rudy Giuliani, is that you?

According to The Washington Post, rumor has it that Donald Trump might adopt a Goldendoodle (a golden retriever and poodle mix) named Patton. However, we aren't convinced that he isn't just considering a goldendoodle so he can steal some of the dog's fur to fill out his toupée.

Jews gave Muslims the keys to their synagogue after the local mosque was burned down.

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Things are scary and sad right now, but here's a great story coming out of the "Faith in Humanity Restored!" department.

In the small town of Victoria, Texas, there are multiple churches, but only one synagogue and one mosque. The Islamic Center of Victoria was destroyed in a fire on Saturday morning, a day after Donald Trump signed his Muslim Ban executive order and a week after the mosque was burglarized and vandalized.

With their neighbors in need, theForwardreports that the Jews of Victoria handed the Muslim community keys to their building, so they have a place to pray.

“This is sad for everyone in the community and as Jews we especially have to feel for the Muslim community. When a calamity like this happens, we have to stand together,” Robert Loeb, the president of Congregation Bnai Israel, said.

Dr. Shahid Hashmi, a surgeon and one of the founders of the mosque, added, “Jewish community members walked into my home and gave me a key to the synagogue.”

The two communities can join together in the spot for the ultimate no bacon party.

The Victoria Islamic Center has already raised over a million dollars on GoFundMe to rebuild.

Donald Trump might not care for people, but thankfully, the people still care for people.

Donald Trump celebrates Black History Month by making it all about him.

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President Trump celebrated Black History Month today in the most Trump-ian way possible: by making himself the victim and complaining about the press. Also he really, truly may think Frederick Douglass, who died in 1895, is still alive.

It's actually pretty believable at this point.

Sitting in the Roosevelt Room this morning for a "listening session" with BFF Ben Carson and a group of African-American leaders, the President probably didn't do a whole lot of listening. But he did do some talking.

Trump said:

Last month we celebrated the life of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., whose incredible example is unique in American history. You read all about Dr. Martin Luther King a week ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office. And it turned out that that was fake news from these people. Fake news. The statue is cherished ... but they said the statue, the bust of Dr. Martin Luther King, was taken out of the office. And it was never even touched. So I think it was a disgrace. But that's the way the press is, very unfortunate.

Using historic civil rights figure Martin Luther King Jr. as a prop to air his own personal grievances at an event meant to commemorate Black History? Yeah, sounds like our President.

You can watch the whole speech here:

The incident he's talking about actually did happen shortly after his inauguration last month, when a member of the presidential press pool falsely reported that a bust of Dr. King that President Obama put in the White House had been removed. But the report was quickly corrected and the reporter apologized for his mistake.

Trump also spoke about the influence black Americans have had on the country, listing Rosa Parks and Harriet Tubman among others who “made America what it is today.” He also described Frederick Douglass as "an example of somebody who has done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.”

Frederick Douglass died in 1895. Does Trump not know this?

Twitter isn't sure that he does.

Me right now:

I'm looking for a wine that pairs well with pretending to like football.

A single retweet has fans convinced that Kim Kardashian is pregnant.

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It has been a big day for celebrity baby news, gang. You've probably already heard that Beyoncé is expecting twins, but did you know that there's also a rumor going around the Twitter-verse that Kim Kardashian could be pregnant?

It all started when a fan sent out the following tweet, instructing people to retweet if "you're getting pregnant in time for the Kim + Kanye kids line launch":

Well. Guess who retweeted it. Kim Kardashian did. And so the pregnancy rumor began.

Naturally, Twitter basically exploded, and now Kardashian fans everywhere are convinced that the retweet means Kim and Kanye are expecting another baby.

When one fan asked if Kim's tweet meant she was pregnant, she responded with a resounding "Def not!"

But why would she retweet it if she wasn't actually pregnant?! The logical explanation is that Kim just found Felipe's tweet funny, but starting internet rumors is so much more fun! Will we be seeing a brand new baby Kardashian-West in the near future? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.


This voter found a delicious way to make her senator pay attention to his constituents.

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With Trump's executive orders and cabinet of swamp monsters scaring the crap out of people, it is more important than ever to contact your representatives in the House and the Senate to tell 'em how you really feel.

Senators and congresspeople are getting barreled with calls. When data scientist Julia Silge tried to reach Utah's Orrin Hatch, she found another way: democratic involvement with ham and pineapple on top.

Her note reads:

Please deliver to Orrin Hatch's office, #8402 and attach the following note: "From a Salt Lake constituent in 84105: Please vote NO on Betsy DeVos. She is an inappropriate choice to lead our public schools."

And the game was afoot.

While the office didn't accept the pie, they at least glanced at the message.

Pizza delivery has a vital place in any functioning democracy.

Hilarious mommy blogger takes on 'mom guilt' by spilling some real talk.

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The internet adores Texan mommy blogger Melissa Radke for her hilarious, real-talk rants about motherhood. And this week, the mother-of-two has a new video where she takes aim at "mom guilt" by spilling some real talk—like the fact that she sent her son to school with two bags of Doritos and missed her daughter's dentist appointments, twice.

(A NORMAL ONE)

In a society where moms are under a lot of pressure to do their job "perfectly," when that's technically impossible, this is a breath of fresh air.

Y'all share this. Please? It's my hope that someone somewhere is stinkin' it up like me. Thank you and bless.

Posted by Melissa Radke on Thursday, January 26, 2017

"It's my hope that someone somewhere is stinkin' it up like me," she wrote in the caption. I'm not even a mom, and I still relate.

So do a lot of actual moms, many who are sharing about their own battles with mom guilt in the comments:

I may not be a mom, but I have one and I know it's not an easy job. Props to Radke for keeping it so real and hopefully allowing other moms to go easy on themselves.

Also: IMHO going to the dentist is overrated and her hair looks great!

I only use cash so I don't have a record of how much money I spend each month on pizza.

This dude's 'automated' Tinder message is just sleazy enough to work.

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Messaging on dating apps is so hard: too forward and you're weird, not forward enough and you're a coward.

To get around this, one Tinder dude named Jesse set up his own "automated" message system so his matches can do a choose-your-own experience at the level that makes them comfortable.

Yes, some of those options included his penis.

When isn't a good time to get some "bomb dick?"

Brilliant strategy. With options like "cheesy pickup line" or "generic greeting," what Tinder goddess wouldn't go for "crude sexual advance?"

Go get em, Tiger!

Jenna Bush Hager shares her father's post-9/11 speech to condemn Trump's Muslim ban.

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Donald Trump's executive order to ban US entry to citizens from seven Muslim-majority nations continues to create controversy across the country and the world, among people of all political leanings. One of the conservatives who is making her voice heard is NBC News correspondent Jenna Bush Hager, the younger daughter of former President George W. Bush.

Jenna Bush Hager and George W. Bush.

Hager chose to address the ban indirectly, by posting a tweet quoting a speech made by her father six days after the terrorist attacks of 9/11. On that day, in the face of overwhelming Islamophobic sentiment from many Americans, Bush made spoke from the mosque in Washington D.C.'s Islamic Centre, after removing his shoes in a show of respect.

The face of terror is not the true faith of Islam. That's not what Islam is all about. Islam is peace. These terrorists don't represent peace. They represent evil and war.

When we think of Islam we think of a faith that brings comfort to a billion people around the world. Billions of people find comfort and solace and peace. And that's made brothers and sisters out of every race -- out of every race.

America counts millions of Muslims amongst our citizens, and Muslims make an incredibly valuable contribution to our country. Muslims are doctors, lawyers, law professors, members of the military, entrepreneurs, shopkeepers, moms and dads. And they need to be treated with respect. In our anger and emotion, our fellow Americans must treat each other with respect.

Women who cover their heads in this country must feel comfortable going outside their homes. Moms who wear cover must be not intimidated in America. That's not the America I know. That's not the America I value.

I've been told that some fear to leave; some don't want to go shopping for their families; some don't want to go about their ordinary daily routines because, by wearing cover, they're afraid they'll be intimidated. That should not and that will not stand in America.

Those who feel like they can intimidate our fellow citizens to take out their anger don't represent the best of America, they represent the worst of humankind, and they should be ashamed of that kind of behavior.

Many on Twitter expressed support for Hager's tweet.

Others were more critical. Hager responded by explaining why she chose to share the text.

President Bush himself has declined to officially comment on Trump's actions.

Here's video of his speech from September 17, 2001.

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