Today in "Real life is Veep,"Donald Trump welcomed Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to the White House and made things weird with his long, lingering touch.

Abe's reaction quickly became a meme seen 'round the world, as his expression is, truly, all of us.

If you didn't catch the dialogue:

After the 19-second of contact, Abe couldn't help but display his relief.

It's just as cringeworthy in this different angle and lighting.

And the memes began to flow.

Despite the awkwardness, Trump was very complimentary of Abe's handshake skills. Perhaps he lingered for 19 seconds to hold onto the magic.

Hope this humiliation doesn't mean war with Japan.

Look, we already know that going out in the snow wearing a T-Rex costume is hilarious, but shoveling the deck during Thursday's snow storm on the East Coast proved to be a bit too much to handle for this dino warrior.

YouTube user Leslie Haasch posted this raw footage of her resident T-Rex attempting (and failing miserably) to shovel snow during the blizzard.

He obviously didn't account for what the high winds would mean for his giant inflatable head.

It's official: T-Rex costumes will always be funny.

Single mom Whitney Kittrell posted a picture and caption to her Facebook wall of herself dressed up as a guy. That's because to her kids, she's both mom and dad. That point that was driven home by her kindergarten-age son who asked her to go with him to his school's "dads and doughnuts" day. Single parents really do pull double duty in so many ways.

Whitney Kittrell's full post reads,

When I became a single mom over 3 years ago I made a promise with myself that I would do anything I could, even if it meant going out of my comfort zone, to give my kids a "normal" life and the same experiences as other kids. We have accomplished a lot. Trips alone, teaching my son how to play catch, killing bugs with minimal screaming, countless memories, and a normal life. But when my kindergartener came home with a paper saying that they were having "dads and doughnuts" my heart kinda sank. I finally sat him down and asked if he wanted to ask his grandpa to go. He just smiled and said "no. I want you to go. You're my mom and dad". So this morning I gathered up my best dad outfit, painted on some facial hair, and went to breakfast with my sweet son. I was so embarrassed but I couldn't help but smile when he introduced me to his little friends saying "this is my mom... she's my dad too so I brought her!" I've tried my best to let them know they are loved but I wonder a lot if I'm actually succeeding at it. When I went to leave he ran after me and hugged me tight around my neck and whispered "mom... I know that you'll always be there and do anything for me. Thank you. I love you" kissed my cheek and ran off. I hope he remembers this day cause I'll never forget it or his sweet words. #singlemom #dadsanddoughnuts #myforever #lovewhatmatters

Look at that goatee soul patch combo! She's a dad with a beard that requires a lot of maintenance. Luckily, it's fake.

We already knew that Taylor Swift is very protective of her music, but apparently she goes to more drastic measures than we thought to make sure her new music doesn't leak before it's released. In fact, we think Taylor Swift might secretly be a spy.

One of Taylor Swift's known BFFs, Ed Sheeran, revealed in an interview with the Brazilian online magazine Capricho that Tay is extremely secretive when it comes to new music.

"She wouldn't ever send me songs, no," Sheeran said. "I'd hear them, but I'd have to be with her."

Ed Sheeran went on to describe how Taylor Swift "sent" him their duet "Everything Has Changed" (which appeared on her album, Red) before its public release. It's straight out of a spy movie. Sheeran said:

I was in San Francisco, and they sent someone with a locked briefcase with an iPad with one song on it. They flew to San Francisco, and they played me the song that I’ve done with her. And they were like, 'Do you like it?' And I was like, 'Yeah.' And then they took it back. That's how you hear them.

That's right. Taylor Swift flew someone to San Fransisco with a locked briefcase containing an iPad with just that song on it.

We can't blame her for being protective of her music. We just hope the producers of the James Bond franchise will take note and use "Taylor Swift airport music drop-off" as a plot point in their next film.

Imagine finding out you just gave birth and you had no idea. That's what happened to this mom named Tisha Heffron. Here she is pictured with her husband, James, and their new baby, Clay:

Right after giving birth, Tisha was so high on pain medication administered to her post-labor that she straight up forgot she just popped out a kid, the Daily Mail reports.

Her reaction when she finds out she just gave birth is to ask: "to who?" Great question, Tisha!

You can watch the whole hilarious, morphine-induced scenario here:

At one point she puts up a fight when her husband, James, explains: "You gave birth to Clay over there," and she responds: "No! I gave birth to Jackson." The San Diego couple also have a 15-month-old son named Jackson. So she's not wrong.

She also is a little confused about where babies come from. After James tells her she "pushed out a kid," she asks: "out of my bellybutton?"

James said after the video was taken, his wife fell back asleep, and when she eventually woke up from her "drug induced hibernation" she was "fully cogent. "

"Straight away she remembered Clay and the whole birth process," he said. "That was a relief."

Yeah, easy for you to say, buddy. I've never given birth but it seems messy, painful, and basically the kind of experience I'd rather forget or just skip entirely. Just hand me some painkillers and a baby and let's call it a day.

What do you mean "that's not how it works"????

Melissa McCarthy was Saturday Night Live's unexpected and inspired choice to play embattled White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, an angry, lie-spouting, thumb-shaped man whose job it is to yell at the media on President Trump's behalf. No one knows how long Spicer will last before trigger-happy Trump gives him the boot, so it's a good thing we got this impression while we still can.

"I'd like to begin today by apologizing on behalf of you to me for how you have treated me these last two weeks, and that apology is not accepted!" McCarthy's Spicer shouts at the journalists assembled before him, proceeding to bluster, stammer, and bully his way through a briefing with Spicer's trademark eloquence. It's gonna be real hard for the guy to come back to work after this.

We all have a bucket list, right? Mine has one item on it: buy a box of cereal and make it last longer than 24-hours. I know you're thinking, wow, she's so hardcore! And I thought so, too. But this 10-year-old girl's bucket list that was discovered and shared on Twitter by her big brother, Josh, puts my bucket list to shame.

Actually it puts my whole life to shame.

Here it is:

It reads as follows:

1. eat a hammer head shark, snake, and bear

2. get a pet blobfish, kalo kola, sloth and flingo

3. get a sign that said something in a bifferent lagnage then on Mar, 12, 2019 I will translate it.

4. try Ariel silks

5. set in an empty room for an hour

6. eat 10 taco bell Dorito taco

7. win a taco bell Dorito taco eating contest

8. stay a sleep for 24 hours

9. pet a cheetah

10.

"i found my sister's bucket list?" Josh wrote. "what the hell is she on."

And that's a good question. If an adult had written this, I would say probably an extremely high-potency strain of marijuana (based on the TWO Taco Bell references). Or one of those hallucinogenic drugs only found in the rain forests of South America.

But she's a kid. So I'll guess she's just high on a drug called being a kid. Still, she's clearly on a much higher-than-average dose.

People on Twitter had questions, mostly about that missing #10:

Others wanted Taco Bell to step in and help out with #'s 6 and 7:

And it looks like they might?

Josh seems just about as confused about the list as everyone else:

He's also kind of concerned about his little sister's well-being, which makes sense:

But I disagree, Josh. I don't think she's trying to die—I think she's trying to live! And she's inspired me to follow in her footsteps by starting with #8: sleep for 24 hours. YOLO!

If you don't know the meaning of "cash me outside, how bow dah?" yet, then congratulations, you are not addicted to the internet. But for those of us who cannot pull ourselves away from the unpredictable cycle of meme culture, the strange, swift rise of the "cash me outside" girl was quite a sensation to behold. The back story is quite simple: A mom took her 13-year-old daughter on Dr. Phil because her daughter was acting out so badly, to the point where she was stealing cars. At one, point, her daughter, Danielle Bregoli, yells "cash me outside how bow dah?" which translates to "catch me outside, how about that?" without the strong accent she has developed. Naturally, everyone loved it.

Bitmoji even turned it into one of their cartoon options:

When Bregoli first went on the show to yell her catch phrase and unwittingly make herself an internet star, it was back in September 2016. But this week she returned to the show for some new insults and catch phrases, possibly ripe for the meme-ing, but then again, the internet is so hard to predict. When Dr. Phil McGraw asked Bregoli if she thought the attention she'd been receiving was good or bad, se replied, "I guess what’s good for you is I made you just like how Oprah made you," and then added, "You were nothin’ before I came on this show."Well, it seems a little long to be turned into a meme. But it's still a pretty rude roast. And while there seems to be some grain of truth to the fact that Bregoli made Dr. Phil's popularity spike (I'm not sure teens even knew the name of the show before the meme), it also brings up the question: is Dr. Phil complicit in making this young teenager into something, too? And is this fame bad for her?

Dr. Philcame been under fire recently for what seemed to be an exploitative interview with Shelley Duvall, and some have even called for her boycott for taking advantage of unstable people. Now we see Bregoli returning and seeming to be an even more difficult child than previously. She was even featured in a low-budget music video, which can only spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E for a mother of an unruly teen. Maybe meme culture created a monster. It wouldn't be the first.

You can watch the new clip from Dr. Phil here:

Real Time With Bill Maher has been a bountiful source of evisceration-of-Trump-supporter clips lately. Last week, Tomi Lahren was called "f—ing crazy" for saying that white Americans face racism equal to that of black Americans. On Friday, Trump defender Piers Morgan visited the show to say that "there is no Muslim ban," EWreports. To which Australian comedian Jim Jeffries said, "oh f--- off, man!"

Morgan's point was that Trump hasn't done some of the things he threatened to do during his campaign yet, and that the highly controversial Muslim ban has already been lifted. "Just give him a chance," Jeffries said. "He didn't kill the Jews on the first day," he went on, referring to Hitler as a cautionary tale. "He worked up to it."

Many celebrity Trump supporters have taken on that same rhetoric of giving Trump a chance and respecting him because he's the President, which has upset those who feel that vigilant and immediate opposition to the President is necessary to make sure that executive orders like the Muslim ban do not occur, especially in a more permanent way. In short, those who oppose Trump feel passionately that normalizing him, which includes defending him, is a slippery slope. And that's why people like Jeffries are making sure to be vocal in their outright disapproval of those who associate themselves with Trump in any way. Whether that leads to effective discourse and productive, forward-moving political policies has yet to be seen.

You can watch a longer clip of the conversation here:

The fact that Trump cannot stop himself from hate-watching Alec Baldwin's impression of him on SNL is probably a sign that it's a great impression. In fact, it might be too good an impression. Because on Friday, a newspaper in the Dominican Republic, El Nacional, accidentally used a picture of Baldwin as Trump instead of the actual Donald Trump, Buzzfeed reports.

Oops! The article was a serious piece about U.S. relations with Israel, but this mistake made it hard for people to react with anything but giggles.

In January, a Scottish newspaper described Trump's inauguration as if it were an episode of the Twilight Zonein its TV Guide section. Not sure what is funnier, that intentional gag or this honest mistake, but at least the world hasn't turned its back on America entirely. That being said, there's never been a better time to pretend you're Canadian while abroad.

Singer Ciara and Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson are expecting an adorable addition to the family in a couple of months, and it seems she's using her time at home to hone her impressive lip-syncing skills. On Saturday morning, she posted a Facebook video of herself sporting a serious baby bump as she passionately mouthed the lyrics—and danced giddily around her kitchen and living room—to Whitney Houston's "I'm Every Woman."

Does she seem happy at all to you?

A dazzling performance, plus great cameos from Wilson and Ciara's toddler son Zahir, whose reactions suggest mom does this all the time. Whitney would be proud.

Smash Mouth, the band that will yell at you on Twitter if you say they're only famous for a single featured in the classic animated film Shrek, has had the (mis)fortune of becoming a meme in their middle age. That doesn't totally explain why they sometimes get bread thrown at them during concerts, but it does account for all the weird remixes of the aforementioned Shrek song, "All-Star."

The latest spin on that timeless tune is maybe the most bizarre yet. It's more of a cover, really, and instead of instruments, it's... a bunch of annoying notifcation sounds from the Windows XP operating system. I hesitate to say it's better than the original, but come on, yeah it is. As one commenter points out, "This is the closest the human race will ever come to hearing the voice of God."

I think the internet can officially retire after this.

Yale University President Peter Salovey announced on Saturday that the university would rename Calhoun College, a residential building named after alumnus John C. Calhoun, The Daily Beast reports. Instead, the building will be named after Grace Murray Hopper, a revolutionary computer scientist who received her master's and doctorate degree at Yale. The decision came after several years of persistent campus protests over the fact that the the building's old namesake, Calhoun, was a known supporter of slavery.

"The decision to change a college’s name is not one we take lightly," Salovey said of the decision. "But John C. Calhoun’s legacy as a white supremacist and a national leader who passionately supported slavery as a 'positive good' fundamentally conflicts with Yale’s mission and values." The decision falls under the category of 'better late than never.' Last spring, the President defended the name of the building amidst protests, but the persistent opposition continued and finally gave way to the renaming.

It's difficult to imagine how alienating it must have felt to be a black student at Yale while a 19th century white supremacist's name was emblazoned across a prominent campus building. And it raises the question of the University's priorities, as Salovey stated that he was still "concerned about erasing history," by changing the name of the building, even though he went through with it. According to The New York Times, the building's name sparked controversy as soon as it happened in 1933. Even if Calhoun was the 7th Vice President of the United States, and even if he was the valedictorian of Yale (read: had no friends) is that really history worth preserving, considering his beliefs? Surely we wouldn't want universities naming buildings after Trump or Pence (or at least more of them). Aren't there other narratives from history that we should be telling, like Hopper's?

Hopper is an uncontested badass. She pioneered so many computer science techniques and inventions that there's a coding school in New York named after her. And she's a United States Navy Rear Admiral and was given a posthumous Presidential Medal of Freedom by Obama. Why are we just starting to honor people like this instead of white supremacists? All I'll say is it's about damn time.

Twitter user @ThatGuyJigg had one simple request: to make his brother—and his brother's prom date—go viral. And the internet obliged.

Justin and Victoria here were all dressed up for Night to Shine, an "unforgettable prom experience" for special needs teenagers sponsored by the Tim Tebow Foundation and hosted at churches across the country.

And while each of the thousands of kids who attended these soirées on Friday night was a clearly a king or queen in their own right, people were especially bowled over by Justin and Victoria's flair. With nearly 100,000 retweets and more than 200,000 likes on the photo, hearts were exploding everywhere:

We've yet to get the full report on how the date itself went, but when you're looking that good, you can't not tear it up on the dance floor.

I've really got to get some fashion tips from this guy.

Earlier this week, Fox News published a screamingly bad opinion column on the internet. What else is new, right? Well, hang on a second—because they really outdid themselves here. Feast your eyes upon this headline:

Yes, you read that correctly. Writer Suzanne Venker argues in the piece (an excerpt from her book The Alpha Female's Guide to Men & Marriage, which I absolutely refuse to link to) that women are more unhappy than ever because they quit being submissive housewives:

Alpha women aren’t exactly new, but they were once a rarer breed. Today they abound. There are several reasons why, but it’s in large part due to women having been groomed to be leaders rather than to be wives. Simply put, women have become too much like men. They’re too competitive. Too masculine. Too alpha.

That may get them ahead at work. But when it comes to love, it will land them in a ditch.

Woof. And you can imagine what the women of Twitter had to say.

Jeez, if alpha women are this bad, just imagine what the alpha males are like!

With Valentine's Day gifts, it's really the thought that counts. So why is it that some people can't be bothered to take two seconds to think about what they're getting their significant other for the most romantic holiday of the year?

Science still doesn't have the answer to that, but if you're having trouble figuring out what would make a good present this February 14th, Twitter has plenty of suggestions for things not to buy. Heed these dire warnings, because if you don't, you'll be spending the rest of winter alone.

Anyway, good luck to everyone trying to keep their relationship together this week, and remember: just another month till you can wasted on St. Patrick's Day.