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Trump takes the three federal judges to 'The People's Court' on last night's 'SNL.'

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Earlier this week we all had a heyday with Trump's "SEE YOU IN COURT" tweet. But in which court exactly was he going to see them? Last night on SNL, host Alec Baldwin returned to take the case—not to the supreme court (as it likely will IRL), but to The People's Court. Yes, we're talking about that daytime reality TV court show you only watched when you were home sick from school and delirious with the flu. And Trump, the plaintiff, is asking the three defendants—the federal judges who unanimously rejected his travel ban as unconstitutional—to reinstate the travel ban and pay him $725 in reparations.

"First of all, Mr. Trump you understand that this is a TV court, right?" judge Marilyn Millian (played by Vanessa Bayer) asks him. "That's okay, I'm a TV president," Trump replies.

The sketch is full of great one-liners like that from Trump that reveal the way he thinks about himself and the world around him, especially the "injustices" he perceives himself as being dealt. When first addressing the judge , Trump says, "Thank you Judge, or what do you call a lady judge? A flight attendant, something like that." It's both a laugh-worthy moment and a cringe-worthy one, since Trump has spoken about women in a proudly objectifying manner, and bragged about sexual assault.

Bayer nails the unfazed, almost to the point of boredom, attitude of Judge Millian from the actual show. When Trump makes his opening statement that he has been treated unfairly and he wants the travel ban reinstated, she replies, "you know, earlier this woman asked me to award her joint custody of a snake and she had more of a case than you." Plus, the overall conceit of Trump's case being heard in a TV small claims court is heard makes the point that Trump's gripes with the judicial system are as unsubstantial as an unemployed 40-year-old man who is taking his mom to court for asking him to pay rent.

Watch Trump try to win his $750 from the 9th circuit here:


Brunch tip: Make sure to post a photo so your ex can see how much fun you're having.

'SNL' mocks the political Super Bowl commercials in this genius ad agency pitch sketch.

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It was hard to ignore the political undertones of many of the commercials during the Super Bowl this year. And for the most part, people were happy to see the ideals of inclusivity and multiculturalism being championed on prime-time (which sadly translates to being anti-Trump because of how extreme he is). But, let's not forget that the reason we create ads is to improve the public's sentiment towards a brand and encourage them to buy more crap. In SNL's "The Pitch" sketch they tackle that duality and try to answer the question of whether it's a moral issue to use the tragic story of a Mexican immigrant to sell more Cheetos.

Host Alec Baldwin and Aidy Bryant play two ad executives from an agency who are trying to impress executives at Cheetos following the Super Bowl. They came to the corner office meeting dressed in all black, while their competition, two representatives from another ad agency (Kyle Mooney and Melissa Villaseñor) look hokey in business casual. Each agency is given a chance to pitch their commercial idea, and they do so, complete with background music to set the mood and microphones. The difference is: Bryant and Baldwin are crafting narratives that read more like speeches former President Obama would have given. They're over-wrought narratives on the American story, the immigrant story, the story of diversity and acceptance, of being othered—the list goes on. It seems like an insane fit for a Cheetos commercial, but the Cheeto execs are very into it. After all, it's hip for brands to be into politics these days, right?

As the pitch goes on, it's clear that Baldwin and Bryant become the clear favorites of the Cheeto executives, while the other duo keeps falling flat by pitching fun kid-centric commercial ideas. At one point, after Baldwin and Bryant have pitched a commercial that specifically focuses on Chester the Cheetah, in which he's undergone surgery to become a female cheetah and is coming out as trans. When they finish the pitch, one of the Cheeto execs, while holding back tears, responds, "wow I am absolutely starving for a Cheeto right now."

This sketch takes brands to task for attempting to align themselves with messages that have nothing to do with their product, and reminds us that at the end of the day, all these corporate behemoths care about is trying to sell more product. After all, when was the last time Cheetos helped an undocumented immigrant family settle in the U.S.?

Fall down this strange wormhole that Twitter created if you want to lose your mind.

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I am convinced I am losing my mind. Lately there have been too many of those instances where you walk into a room and can't remember for the life of you why you're in there, for me to not be concerned. Yesterday morning I found a half pint of soupy ice cream in my refrigerator; I had accidentally placed it there instead of in the freezer the evening before. I've gotten on incorrect trains that have taken me to unintended destinations, only to have to hail a cab to get home. I forgot the name of the place I was going to on vacation in conversation with a coworker (it was Barbados). Not to mention, the strange and terrifying things happening in the White House have made me more paranoid than I have ever been before. And now, this.

"Catherine, this just looks like a tweet making alarmist political commentary on something bad that happened," you, a sane person, might say. But to that I say, "oh really?" Here's what you see when you click the tweet that Colton Dunn is linking to:

Hm, another alarmist tweet linking to ANOTHER TWEET. What could the next tweet say?

And the next?

What day is it?

What is time, anyway?

Have you ever really looked at your hands?

Did that lady just give me a weird look?

Has anybody seen my headphones? Oh, they're in my ears?

Is there a human soul trapped in the mangy cat that hangs around outside my apartment, and is it trying to commune with me?

Isn't it crazy that right now we're simultaneously the youngest we're ever going to be and the oldest we've ever been?

We know so little about the oceans. Weird, right?

Why don't I just google the Illuminati once and for all?

I hate this. I would wager a guess that this freaky wormhole is making commentary on the alarmist and overly personal ways in which people connect to political and international news, but honestly, I cannot trust Twitter to make sense. Nor can I trust my brain.

Devos' Dept. of Education just misspelled W.E.B. Du Bois' name during Black History Month.

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Betsy DeVos has been the head of the Department of Education for less than a week and already things are going downhill. This morning, the DOE tweeted this:

It's a nice quote and all, but they misspelled W.E.B. Du Bois' name. And sure, everybody makes mistakes. But Du Bois is not only one of the most well-known and well-regarded educators of the last century, he's also the first African American man to receive a doctorate from Harvard, and it's Black History Month. So this is the kind of thing that they should probably get right. What's crazy, is that they haven't even deleted and re-posted a corrected tweet yet.

Du Bois was one of the co-founders of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), was a prolific writer, and a civil rights activist who fought against Jim Crow laws, lynching and discrimination in education and employment. In short, he deserves better than to have his name misspelled by a federal department. And yes, people have noticed.

This is the latest in the White House's BHM blunders, which also included Trump's attempt at a speech honoring black Americans while revealing he doesn't know if Frederick Douglass is dead or alive, Sean Spicer also revealing he doesn't know who Douglass is, and Pence celebrating white man Abraham Lincoln. This has been your daily reminder that what's happening in the White House is not normal and not good.

Dr. Pimple Popper squeezes 'human caviar' from this 'cute' cyst.

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Rejoice, pop-aholics, for internet-famous dermatologistDr. Pimple Popper has posted another video. In this one, called "ReCYSTance is Futile" (Get it? Get it?), Dr. Sandra Lee tackles what she calls a "cute cyst" on a "cute patient."

Sure, "human caviar" is one way to describe it. A "chunk of fresh mozzarella" would also not be wrong.

'SNL' takes us inside Beyoncé's womb to meet her twin babies, one of which is Tracy Morgan.

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What's it like inside Beyoncé's womb? It's probably cooler than any other woman's womb out there, no offense to my fellow ladies. Last night, SNL took us into the doctor's office with Bey (played by Sasheer Zamata) and her doctor (Alec Baldwin) to discuss the delivery of her twin babies. And then they took us inside the womb.

Kenan Thompson and Tracy Morgan as Beyoncé's twin babies, in utero.

Beyonce's babies (Kenan Thompson and Tracy Morgan), know that the womb they are in is probably a palace in comparison to the other wombs out there. It's got a red velvet couch, and a recording studio, according to Morgan, who says that he's "pure sex," just like his mom, and he's going to be the first person to "get somebody pregnant while inside somebody pregnant."

They're pretty sure their mom is an amazing lady too. At one point, when Thompson brings up that he thinks his mom is having difficulty carrying the twins, Morgan replies with, "Oh, no she's not. I heard she carried two full-grown ladies for 10 years named Michelle and Kelly." Damn, most of us are happy if our babies can say their first word at 18 months, meanwhile Beyoncé's baby is slinging Comedy Central Roast-worthy insults from within his mother's uterus. These kids are gonna be advanced as heck.

When the babies start to get riled up, Beyoncé is able to lull them to sleep with an beautiful lullaby, which is a parody of her own song "Crazy In Love," in which the lyrics are changed to, "got my babies so sleepy right now." It's truly great.

Go inside the womb and meet her twins for yourself by watching the sketch here:

Melissa McCarthy gave us a second helping of Sean Spicer on 'SNL' and was madder than ever.

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Melissa McCarthy's surprise SNL appearance as furious White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer last week was far and away the best thing to happen on the show this year. So America was overjoyed to see her return for a second assault on President Trump's fact-averse, gum-chomping mouthpiece.

This time out, "Spicy" is trying to keep his cool, but wouldn't you know it—those pesky reporters are still getting his goat. He'll need to resort to visual aids, a leaf-blower, and shilling for Ivanka's fashion line in order to keep them distracted. And just wait until you see who shows up as Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

We know for a fact that Trump hates seeing women play the men in his administration, and once again, it seems he was too wounded to send his traditional tweet blasting SNL the morning after. Keep up the good work, gals.


May your weekend birthday go completely unnoticed by your coworkers.

24 utterly savage burns on Stephen Miller, the latest Trump goon to lie about voter fraud.

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Stephen Miller, a 31-year-old advisor to President Trump, made his Sunday-morning news show circuit debut this morning, probably because none of these programs are willing to book Kellyanne Conway anymore. But in all honesty, he was probably worse—not least because he continued to peddle the lie that the November election (which his boss won) was rife with voter fraud.

We could yell all day about what a slimy move this is, but that wouldn't be as fun as playing a little game called "Stephen Miller looks like." Twitter really stepped up, taking the opportunity of his newfound exposure to roast him to a crisp.

Ouch. We'd offer Miller some ointment for all those burns, but it looks like he's already covered in it.

Republicans tweeted a fake Abraham Lincoln quote and now everybody's getting in on the fun.

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Man, can conservatives do anything competently? Like, yeah, I get that you sometimes have go on TV and outright lie for your boss about voter fraud, but when it comes to tweeting a good Abraham Lincoln quote on his birthday, it shouldn't be so difficult to stick to, you know... facts.

Whatever. The GOP tweeted this thing Lincoln never said. For some reason.

Since our post-reality civilization makes it too exhausting to keep calling politicians out on this kind of garbage, Twitter took the easy way out and started attributing their own incorrect Lincoln quotes. America is saved!

How important is the legacy of the greatest president this country ever had, anyway? Let's just try to enjoy whatever time we have left before Trump starts World War III.

Leslie Jones is out to prove that she has what it takes to play Donald Trump on 'SNL.'

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With no immediate end of the Trump presidency in sight, it seems as if Alec Baldwin will be stuck playing him on Saturday Night Live for the next four years. That is, unless the show can come up with someone to replace him.

Leslie Jones hopes to be that person, and she's been putting in some serious work on her impression. Granted, her meeting with Lorne Michaels about the idea may not have gone according to plan, and her fellow cast members are a little skeptical that she can pull it off, but it turns out she's good enough to convince at least one person close to the real-life Donald. See for yourself:

Between Jones' Trump and Melissa McCarthy's Sean Spicer, do we even need men in comedy anymore?

This Snapchat story about the weirdest sex injury ever must be real, because who could make it up?

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You ought to take everything you read on the internet with a giant grain of salt, but as they say in journalism, some stories are too good to fact-check. Case in point: this bizarre tale of how a couple managed to severely injure each other while having raucous sex in the middle of the night.

Whether these Snapchats indeed relate true events or just serve to embellish a less-crazy account of what happened, we of course wish both victims a speedy recovery—and continued (but safe) intimate pleasures.

Good god, what a wild ride. I think I may just bring a mouthguard on my next date.

The best looks at the 2017 Grammys.

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Sunday brings the 59th annual Grammy awards, and with it, all the celebrities and couture outfits. Some celebs hit the mark, others were way off, and a few really nailed it. Here are the best looks from the 2017 Grammys.

Caroline D'Amore

Caroline D'Amore looked stunning in a beaded crop top and flowing cream-colored skirt.

Kat Graham

Never has a barbershop pole looked so alluring.

Charli XCX

Charli XCX looking very Valentine's Day-ready here.

Laverne Cox

This is so hot. When you look in the dictionary under "fire" you just see a picture of Laverne Cox in this dress. Just kidding! We don't have actual dictionaries anymore, lol.

The worst looks from the Grammys as chosen by someone with toothpaste on her shirt.

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It's that time of year again—Grammys! On a night where anyone who's anyone is at the 59th annual Grammy awards, it's an honor just to be nominated. Even if that nomination is for the Worst Dressed List. So here are the celebrities who might want to look into getting new stylists. Haha, just kidding, as if celebrities at the Grammys actually take the advice of bloggers sitting at home with wine lips and weekend pants.

Nick Jonas

"You can have my Bedazzler when you pry it from my cold, dead, possibly Bedazzled hands."

CeeLo Green

CeeLo Green? More like "CeeLo Gold"! Oh, we have fun. Also, yikes.

Santigold

The shoes and clutch are good, and I like the snake. Everything else that Santigold is wearing is a whole big bag of "no."

Elle King

We get it, Elle King. You're some sort of whimsical forest fairy princess. There are 3-D flowers on your pink dress and you're wearing a Snapchat filter on your head. The only accessory missing is a bird's nest wrist corsage.

Adele

Adele's dress is a little too quilted bedspread in the chest area. The rest is pretty, but all I can think of with those patchwork-lookin' squares is court jester.

Tinashe

"I love bikinis, but you know what they're missing? More material."

Elvana Giante

The material for this dress seems all wrong, the back is confusing, the turtleneck and big shoulders are overwhelming. And what's with the white bra, Elvana? The dress still looks fun to wear; it just doesn't look "good."

Girl Crush

Well, thanks goodness someone came dressed as as Chuck E. Cheese ball pit.

Joy Villa

Uh.

Twitter reacts to Beyoncé at the Grammys.

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Sunday night brought the 59th annual Grammy awards, where Beyoncé was officially crowned queen of everything. She was stunning, from her performance to her acceptance speech for the Grammy for best contemporary album for Lemonade. She performed while pregnant, wore the crown of a sun goddess, and trusted a chair more than most people trust their parents.

Here's what people on Twitter had to say about Beyoncé at the Grammys.

Adele broke her Grammy in half to share with Beyoncé.

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At Sunday night's 59th annual Grammy Awards, Adele beat out Beyoncé for Album of the Year (25), Record of the Year ("Hello"), and Song of the Year ("Hello"). But that didn't sit right with Adele, so during her acceptance speech for Album of the Year, she broke her Grammy in half so she could share it with Beyoncé.

In that same acceptance speech, Adele praised Queen Bey, describing Beyonce's album Lemonade as “beautiful,” “monumental,” and “soul-baring."

Adele continued to fangirl over Beyoncé backstage, saying, “Like I said in my speech. For me my album for you was Lemonade, so a piece of me did die inside as a Beyoncé stan. I’m not going to lie, cause I was completely rooting for her—I voted for her.”

Monday is my favorite day of the week to not be asked how my weekend was.

Watch Blue Ivy crash the end of 'Carpool Karaoke,' super-star Grammys edition.

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At the Grammys Sunday night, James Corden busted out a cardboard vehicle and proceeded to perform his super-viral series Carpool Karaokewith what is only being described as an all-star cast: Jennifer Lopez, John Legend, Faith Hill, Keith Urban, Neil Diamond...

These are just some of the megastars overshadowed by the princess herself, Miss. Blue Ivy Carter.

That maniacal laughing in the clip is the sound of James Corden's brain calculating the amount of retweets its going to get.

Honestly, the crowd looks kind of over it when the camera cuts to an audience shot.

"What, we're doing YouTube live at the Grammys now?" they yawn.

Yes! Of course we are! This the good stuff. Here's a longer clip (the song is Sweet Caroline, in case you never lived in Boston):

Show someone how "bigly" you love them with these presidential Valentine's Day cards.

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Happy Valentine's Day to all, even the "bad hombres" and "losers" out there! Want to show the sexy patriot in your life that you care bigly for them and the United States this V-Day? Look no further than these winning presidential Valentine's Day cards! The only thing that could be more romantic is a Trump steak dinner for two at the Trump Taj Mahal.

Oh, both of those things went under? Nevermind. On to the cards.

Show your Valentine who is really in charge.

Let your date know that you're not going Dutch this Valentine's Day.

Show your lover what a real "nasty woman" looks like.

And affirm that your love is not "fake news."

Not a Trump fan? Here is a Clinton-inspired Valentine.

Or if you don't like Clinton or Trump, here is one inspired by a man who captured America's heart like no presidential candidate ever could.

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