The President watched last night's Donald Trump roast aka The Academy Awards, and—surprise!—he was not in to it, The Wrap reports.

Makes sense. I watched the ceremony hoping for one thing: Trump jokes. And host Jimmy Kimmel, god bless his soul, delivered in droves. One of the best moments of the night—and there were many—is when Kimmel trolled the President live from the ceremony, with this history-making tweet:

If you're like me, you've been waiting with bated breath for Trump's inevitably bitchy response. Because our president is a high school Mean Girl.

He finally responded today, in an interview with conservative website Breitbart. “I think [the Oscars] were focused so hard on politics that they didn’t get the act together at the end,” the president said.“It was a little sad. It took away from the glamor of the Oscars. It didn’t feel like a very glamorous evening. I’ve been to the Oscars. There was something very special missing, and then to end that way was sad."

ICYMI: At the end of the night, presenters accidentally awarded Best Picture to the wrong movie, La La Land, before they fixed their mistake and gave it to the real winner: Moonlight.

And what the President seems to be saying is that the Academy Awards messed up because they made too many Trump jokes and got distracted??

Yeah, sorry buddy. That's not a thing.

Here are the #facts, according to me: That Oscars mishap was one of the most riveting and enjoyable TV moments I've witnessed in my lifetime. The Trump jokes were hilarious. And (almost) everyone looked glamorous AF.Especially Meryl Streep.

Kellyanne Conway is a fan of alternative facts and, apparently, alternative sitting. On Monday, the AFP tweeted a picture of President Donald Trump in the Oval Office with leaders of historically black universities and colleges. And there, kneeling on the couch, was top Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway. It's hard to tell from the picture if she's wearing her shoes or not (although, honestly, shoes on or off would be equally as bad), but a close-up shows that she is. Classy!

New York magazine journalist Olivia Nuzzi included the picture in a tweet along with the word, "I'm just not going to say anything."

But the rest of the internet did have stuff to say about Kellyanne Conway's, um, interesting way of sitting. Here are some of the funniest tweets:

Ed Sheeran joined Jimmy Fallon and his house band The Roots on the Tonight Show on Monday to give his new song "Shape of You" the classic classroom instruments cover treatment. The men all wielded instruments that one would likely find in an underfunded elementary school music room, with Fallon on blocks and Sheeran on some musical banana type thing. Of course, these dudes are pros and still managed to make this iteration the song a total bop.

Ed Sheeran can sing, write music AND play the banana? That is one talented man.

Congratulations on behalf of the U.S. State Department! You, Iranian director Asghar Farhadi, won the Oscar for best foreign-language film for The Salesman. And the U.S. State Department couldn't be prouder.

Unfortunately, the State Department deleted their mazel tov at some point. According to Reuters, a spokeswoman said they "removed the post to avoid any misperception that the [U.S. government] endorsed the comments made in the acceptance speech."

Farhadi boycotted the Oscars and sent two Iranian-Americans to accept his tiny gold statue in his stead.

Accepting his award on the director's behalf, Anousheh Ansari—an engineer and the world's "first female space tourist"—read Farhadi's comments on Donald Trump's immigration ban:

"I'm sorry I'm not with you tonight. My absence is out of respect for the people of my country and those of other six nations who have been disrespected by the inhumane law that bans entry of immigrants to the U.S."

"Dividing the world into the 'us' and 'our enemies' categories creates fear, a deceitful justification for aggression and war."

The "tweet and delete" situation is reminiscent of rogue Twitter accounts from the National Park Service and their shut down by the Interior Department. The president, ironically, does not like the rest of his government having itchy Twitter fingers.

So while the State Department eventually decided not to endorse a common sense sentiment from a great director, we'll always have the screenshots. At least someone in the State Department has some class.

Typically the celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves on Jimmy Kimmel Live! feel bad. Or at least they pretend to, or maybe sometimes pretend not to. Robert De Niro, however, had a different take on the experience: bring it on, em-effers. And he wasn't holding back on the curses, either. He was a lot like…a Robert De Niro character.

Hopefully there was a production assistant somewhere near by with a bar of soap to wash his filthy mouth out!

Tucker Carlson got into a heated (pun intended) debate with Bill Nye the Science Guy during their discussion on climate change on Fox News last night. Basically, Nye argued that there is enough hard facts to prove that climate change is real and is speeding up due to human activity, while Carlson debated that climate change is not "settled science" and it's just some conspiracy theory the left made up when they were bored one day (or something).

Although the entire debate is pretty uncomfortable, the real mud-slinging starts at 7:35.

"You’re using the science of politics," Carlson accused. "You’re not a scientist, as you know, you’re a popularizer!"

Nye timed how long it would take for Carlson to interrupt him. It was about 6 seconds.

"So much of this you don’t know. You pretend you know, but you don’t know" said Carlson, clearly losing his footing in the argument and resulting to pettiness.

"I’m open-minded and you are not," concluded Carlson, the same man who argued that Moonlight only won the Oscar of Best Picture because of political correctness.

Let's just hope we are not all under water by the time this debate is finally settled.

Donald Trump turned national health insurance into a Facebook relationship status on Monday, commenting with apparent shock that the whole thing could be "so complicated."

Meeting with the country's governors (an activity that previously prevented him from live-tweeting the Oscars) Donald Trump—the 45th President of the United States—reportedly said: "Now, I have to tell you, it's an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew health care could be so complicated."

Speaking with Anderson Cooper, Bernie Sanders turned red as a preexisting condition as he laughed at Trump's turn of phrase.

"Some of us who were sitting on the health education committee, who went to meeting after meeting after meeting, who heard from dozens of people, who stayed up night after night trying to figure out this thing, yeah we got a clue," commented Bernie Sanders.

"When you provide health care in a nation of 320 million people, yeah, it is very, very complicated."

The day after the Oscars pulled a Steve Harvey and accidentally gave Best Picture to La La Landbefore revealing it actually belonged to Moonlight, Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel used his show to recap the ludicrous snafu from his perspective.

"All of a sudden it turned into one of those Maury Povich paternity test shows," joked Kimmel, because the Oscars couldn't decide on the gold statue's true father.

In the end, Kimmel blamed no one for the mix-up, although he did laugh at how "Clyde threw Bonnie under the bus" by handing her the card in his moment of confusion.

Besides reiterating that the true loser of the Oscars was Matt Damon, Jimmy Kimmel wants you to know that he was definitely not the puppet master behind the chaotic finish.

"I did not pull a prank. If I had pulled a prank by the way... when they opened it there would have been like a bed, bath, and beyond gift card."

Jon Stewart has been stopping by Stephen Colbert's show to weigh in on Trump's presidency a lot recently. On Monday night, he was back yet again. (You guys think he misses having a TV show?)

Stewart stopped by The Late Show on Monday to offer the media advice on dealing with the Trump administration and offered a sure-fire way to tell when our new president is lying. Stewart pointed out the two little words Trump says when he's not telling the truth: "Believe me."

Jon Stewart also encouraged members of the media to stop whining about the way Trump treats them and do their jobs.

Stewart suggested that perhaps the media should take up a hobby during this administration. Which hobby in particular?

"I recommend journalism."

A couple months ago, a 1984 clip from the British children's television show Emu's Pink Windmill went viral. The two-and-half minute music video took it's rightful place amongst popular internet memes like Grumpy Cat and the double rainbow guy, and has been viewed millions of times. Audiences couldn't seem to get enough of these highly energetic kids full-out dancing their asses off to an infuriatingly catchy song called "You Can't Stop the Music," and the video was parodied and recreated dozens of times.

Those spookily enthusiastic kids from the music video are now all grown up, and slipped on the multi-colored sweatpants one more time to recreate the viral clip for a good cause.

Damn. They've still got it.

Especially Joe. Although we all miss the bowl cut, Joe is lookin' good.

Everybody poops, but not everybody accidentally uses poop as a weapon.

In the "Today I F*cked Up" chronicles on Reddit, a user known as Srv1vr f*cked up real bad. It's a tale of deuces, dinner parties, and disastrous consequences where truth is stranger than sitcoms.

We begin with a prologue, establishing the time and place, and the circumstances that leads to quite literally a sh*tty situation.

This happened Thursday evening. I just moved into a new apartment Tuesday, and of course, like anyone else, it takes a bit to find things and unpack everything. Also, I have recently adjusted the amount of medication I take for my organ transplant, so I become constipated quite easily. These are two pertinent pieces of information for this story.

I was expecting guests for dinner at 7PM. I'd been rushing around all day, hanging paintings, removing plastic from new furniture, setting up my electronics, etc. As fate would have it, I suddenly have the urge at around 615. Ok, no problem. I turn dinner down to low, and off to the restroom...for eternity.

He continues,

25 minutes of excruciating pain later, and I've successfully given birth to an 8-lb brown baby boy. I didn't die, although I felt like it, and I'm kind of laughing to myself when it hits me: That thing is the size of a puppy, and I have no idea where my plunger is at! Glancing at my phone, I notice it's now 6:45.

Sheer panic! Guests are coming, Dusty The Dirtman is in my toilet, and there is no way I could successfully flush that thing in even the mightiest of toilets.

Um...quick, logic! What can I do? After cleaning up and washing my hands, I come up with the greatest decision of all time! I go into my living room, where my 250 gallon aquarium is set up. A quick apology and promise to get a new net for my lionfish later, and I'm at the toilet with a very large fish net.

Is the guy's solution as creative as naming a turd "Dusty the Dirtman"? Well:

I capture the masterpiece quite successfully, and then it hits me, what do I do with it? I solved one problem, yet created another. This was my fuck up and tactical error. I live on the 10th floor of a building shaped like an obelisk. There's no time to run it out in a bag of trash, we are T-Minus 5 minutes from company arriving. I shake off the net over the bowl so it doesn't drop, hold the trash can under it, and run out the sliding door to my balcony. Life is good.

Or is it? Baby Dusty still has nowhere to go!

Shit! It's 70 degrees outside. What if someone wants to smoke or get fresh air on the balcony? In a moment of brilliance, panic, and fucking up, I flung the poo-filled net off of the balcony. Keep in mind, the building is tapered, so I have to get enough distance to clear the other balconies. I also didnt account for the breeze. My playdough poop man landed right on the sidewalk at the entrance to the building. At a height of ten stories, I could only imagine the impact zone that made, or where in the world the net may have ended up. I saw them separate on the descent, but I didn't care, because I just pulled off the greatest crap caper ever, and I was homefree!

I returned inside, made sure there was no evidence of anything, washed again thoroughly, resumed cooking dinner, and my phone rang. It was my fiancé, saying her family had to cancel and she'd be over later, because when they arrived, her mother slipped on what turned out to be the largest piece of crap ever, and turned her ankle.

Ah yes, a valuable tale of how actions have unintended consequences—and to always unpack the plunger first.

If you're wondering if the Mother-in-Law-to-be is alright, and if she learned about the poop, our "crap caper" included an epilogue.

UPDATE: Her mom is fine, and I haven't said anything lol! I did receive a text from her mom Saturday morning: Gm, sorry for the last minute cancellation last night. I'm sure Brandi explained. My ankle will be fine according to the dr...just ice and ibuprofen. Brandi said the apartment is $2,700/month. People really need to clean up after their pets for that, it brings the entire place down. Have a good day, hope to see you soon.

Maybe it's a story best left for the wedding vows.

The investigation continues into how the huge mix-up happened during the live presentation of Sunday's 89th annual Academy Awards. The final presenters of the evening, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, somehow ended up with the wrong envelope for Best Picture.

It wasn't so much the wrong card for Best Picture as it was the right card for Best Actress. However, that category had already been announced. Close-ups show that the outside of the envelope in Beatty's hand clearly reads "Best Actress in a Leading Role." The video above shows the ensuing confusion on stage and in the audience as people realized it wasn't a joke.

PricewaterhouseCoopers, the company in charge of making and handing out the sealed envelopes containing the Oscar winners' names, has issued an apology, placing blame squarely on one of the two employees from the company that night, Brian Cullinan.

PricewaterhouseCoopers' apology reads,

PwC Partner Brian Cullinan mistakenly handed the back-up envelope for Actress in a Leading Role instead of the envelope for Best Picture to presenters Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway. Once the error occurred, protocols for correcting it were not followed through quickly enough by Mr. Cullinan or his partner.

We are deeply sorry for the disappointment suffered by the cast and crew of "La La Land" and "Moonlight." We sincerely apologize to Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Jimmy Kimmel, ABC, and the Academy, none of whom was at fault for last night's errors. We wish to extend our deepest gratitude to each of them for the graciousness they displayed during such a difficult moment.

According to Elite Daily, Brian Cullinan tweeted (now deleted) a picture he'd taken backstage of Emma Stone on his iPhone just six minutes before the huge flub. So maybe his attention was elsewhere?

Facebook has live backstage footage of the show, which includes Emma Stone coming backstage after winning her award. You can also watch as the people covering the event from backstage react when they realize what's just happened.

Boston Globe explained the process PricewaterhouseCoopers uses—first they tally votes, then they make two identical sets of the cards used to announce the winners. Each set is placed into a locked briefcase, and two people from the company attend the awards ceremony and stand at either end of the stage, giving out the cards to the presenters as they walk on stage.

That does sound like it has the potential for disaster, although it seems to have worked fine for the past 88 Oscars ceremonies.

Twitter user @babxannyy recently went viral by sharing a story on Twitter that's so nuts, so hilariously dirty, and so intense, it just has to be true. It started when he and his girlfriend decided to experiment with a vibrator in the bedroom. But of course, they got carried away almost instantly. Before they knew it, they were stuck in a classic "potato in the tailpipe" scenario.

As you can imagine, this story has blown up like the Twitter version of an anal orgasm. In only a few days, @babyxannyy's tweets have amassed tens of thousands of retweets. But everyone had the same question for him.

So far, he hasn't responded. So we can assume the answer is yes.

President Donald Trump appeared on his safe space of Fox and Friends on Tuesday morning, and had a moment of near-humbleness sandwiched between moments of ol' reliable self-aggrandizing.

Asked his grade his presidency so far, Trump sure sounded like he would give himself a participation trophy. Despite spending three weekends of his young presidency playing golf at his country club, costing taxpayers a little tip of up to $10 million, Trump granted himself an A+ for effort.

As for actual achievement is concerned, Trump *only* gives himself an A.

The Tweeter-in-Chief does concede, however, that there is a bit of an issue with regards to messaging, with Sean Spicer's temper tantrums and all-caps tweets as a strategy scoring "C or C+."

In addition of giving himself a report card that averages out to a B, Trump also took the opportunity to blame Obama for everything from protests at town halls to the death of a Navy SEAL during a Yemen raid he authorized over dinner.

Old habits die hard.

On Tuesday night, President Donald Trump gave his first-ever address to the joint session of Congress. Earlier in the day, Trump awarded his presidency thus far an A grade, but his messaging just a C. Will this speech raise or lower his grade? Well, it depends on what you're looking for.

Hold onto your hats, people, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Here are the best reactions to President Trump's speech to Congress from Twitter:

After a run of challenging procedures that taxed Dr. Pimple Popper (and her arm muscles) to the limit, it's nice to see her kicking back with a quick, easy pop. That's what she got with this superficial little cyst. It was just sitting right on top of the patient's skin, waiting to pop out. Dr. Lee described it as an "evil eye," but it looks pretty friendly to us. Especially when it bursts.

Sometimes, when you stare into the cyst, the cyst stares into you.

Okay, stop everything you're doing and sit down. Jennifer Aniston might be pregnant. THE Jennifer Aniston? The one whose haircut spawned a generation of choppy layers? The One Who Ross May or May Not Have Cheated On On Friends (THEY WERE ON A BREAK)? The one who said we should all stop talking about her womb so much? Yes, that one.

Sorry, Jen.

I did say "might be" pregnant. Because the source is pretty iffy on this one. On Sunday night, after Jennifer Aniston presented the "In Memorium" segment at the Oscars, Kathy Hilton (Paris Hilton's mom) tweeted this:

"Jennifer Aniston looks so beautiful tonight I am telling you she is having a baby girl. 100/ percent!!!!!" she wrote, next to a string of emojis for emphasis.

The tweet remained boldly on her timeline for approximately 19 hours before it was deleted, for reasons which may or may not include Jennifer Aniston actually being pregnant. Some people are speculating that Hilton got Jennifer Aniston confused with Natalie Portman, who is100% pregnant and skipped the Oscars for that reason.

Whatever the explanation for this tweet, there's almost a zero percent chance that Kathy Hilton did not really put her foot in it this time. Since deleting the tweet, she has not addressed it or followed up with any apology. She did tweet this:

THANKS FOR NOTHING, KATHY.

As for whether or not Jennifer Aniston is expecting a baby girl, we can still not confirm that at all. 100%!!!!!!!!!!!

And Jennifer Aniston, if you're reading this, I repeat, I am so sorry about all this.