Happy Ides of March to someone I'd stab if they poured themselves a bigger glass of wine than mine.
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Looking forward to holding your hair back when you get sick from drinking green beer.
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Beware having to read Shakespeare in order to understand the Ides of March.
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Wine helps me relax after the ordeal of choosing a wine.
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Sorry I called you without first warning you by text.
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I'm sorry the winter lasted so long that your booty call turned into a relationship.
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The hardest I work is trying to remember my passwords.
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Drinking nothing but wine is my juice cleanse.
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I'd really like to go out with the Throwback Thursday version of you.
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I'd rather leave my house during the apocalypse than during St. Patrick's Day.
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Thank you for trusting me enough to never change your passwords.
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Happy St. Patrick's Day to someone who finally has a reasonable explanation for being drunk at work on a Friday.
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I'd celebrate St. Patrick's Day if they made green wine.
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St. Patrick's Day Regrets
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My getting hideously drunk on a Friday afternoon has nothing to do with St. Patrick's Day.
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Happy Technical First Day of Spring.
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If at first you don't succeed find the nearest coworker to blame.
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Climbing over filthy mounds of snow to reach the curb is what I call a nature hike.
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You miss 100% of the sick days you don't take.
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My thoughts and prayers go out to all those people refusing to wear winter clothes once spring begins.
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