Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon's famous "feud" continued on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night when the late night host took shots at both the Oscar winner and United Airlines with this spoof commercial.

Damon acts as the airline's celebrity spokesperson for the fake ad, but of course, he can't make it through the minute long commercial spot without being sabotaged by Kimmel.

Check it out.

This 'feud' has been boiling for so long, it was only a matter of time before Kimmel gave Damon the 'United treatment.'

Last week, Jimmy Kimmel brutally satirized United with this hilarious fake commercial.

Your move, Matt.

There are many subtle things you can do to try to get your crush to date you. Of course, you can always skip right over subtle and hurtle into charming/possibly slightly creepy/still really funny territory. A woman named Lizzy Fenton chose that route, and actually emailed her crush (Carter) a Powerpoint presentation she'd put together in an attempt to get him to take her out on a date.

The presentation consisted of four pages. The first was the title card, which outlined the topic of the presentation clearly.

The second and third slides highlighted both her usefulness in dealing with parents and her ability to spice up the relationship (she can look like different girls simply by changing up her hairstyle).

The third slide dealt with scientific projections proving that her breasts will get bigger over time ("each breast will be roughly the circumference of a human head by the year 2025").

The final two slides highlighted her financial stability, and included some blurbs praising her, like one from Channing Tatum, who apparently claimed "she's way out of my league" (lol).

So did all her hard work convince him to give her a chance?

Sadly, no.

But on the upside, it sounds like Microsoft Office might be interested.

People can be assholes at restaurants, expecting to be treated like kings on their nights out. Patient, saintly waiters and waitresses shared their stories on Reddit of the absolute worst customers they had to serve, who are even worse than the average hungry person.

They deserve all of the tips.

1. MerelyOblivious had an extremely oblivious customer.

I used to work at TGIF as a bus boy and there was this huge group of about 20 people. At the end of their meal, they received the bill. Everyone put in money for what they ordered. They sat there for a while doing the math and finally figured it out. They call their waitress over and say "We ain't order no gratuity. Show me gratuity on this table." They continued to try and argue and made the waitress cry. Manager had to be called in to explain what gratuity was.

2. Swift_Bass learned to speak "old bitch."

A lady and her husband came in and before sitting down told us that she was deathly allergic to white wine saying, verbatim, "If you feed me white wine I will die." So I run around double and triple checking recipes and ingredients and making sure the kitchen is ready so when she orders I know her food will be safe. Her husband orders the special and I make sure to tell her not to eat any of his meal as it is dressed with a beurre blanc made with white wine and I'd like her to survive her dining experience. Well I bring out their food and the first thing she does is scoop a big ol' forkful of hubby's special and I cry out in dismay as she shoves in her dumb fucking mouth and says while chewing, "oh, one bite won't hurt." She also single handedly weeded every server on the floor by forcing them into inane, inappropriate conversations while they were trying to take care of their busy sections, AND cornered another guest in the tiny corridor leading to the bathrooms to tell him, aggressively, he was being to loud.

TL;DR - "I'm deathly allergic to X" == "I don't really like X" in old bitch, and busy servers don't give a shit about your week.

3. You gotta hand it to niftyfat for surviving this monster.

Worked as a bar back. I accidentally dropped a fork on a very drunk dude's foot, who got angry and shook his head and grumbled about it, shocking I know. Bits of food fell on the ground as well, so I grabbed a towel to clean it up. I look the man in the eye to let him now im on the floor cleaning next to him. He then proceeds to stand up and step on my hand as he walks to the bathroom. It hurt like a bitch, and I yelled out in pain. He didn't acknowledge it at all but chuckled as he walked away. Sadly there wasn't much I could do, I just got angry and walked to the back to calm down.

4. Br1lliantJim: Portrait of the Sandwich Artist as a Young Man.

I used to work at Subway. There was one legendary customer that we only refer to as "Crazy Bacon Lady."

She was an older woman. She came in and asked how much a 6" BLT was. We told her it was 3.50 plus tax. She then proceeded to yell at us saying it was $2 when she came in yesterday (hint, she didn't come in yesterday. In fact this was the first time she had even been in our store. Plus the fact that the BLT was never at any point $2 in the 3 years I had worked there). She barks out her order the whole way up the line saying such gems as:

"I am a good Christian woman, I don't deserve to be treated this way"

"For 3.50 that bacon better be fresh!"

"The service here is terrible! I'M NEVER COMING BACK, YOU HEAR ME!"

And the best one of them all, when she gets to my co-worker who is manning the cash register and he tells her the total of 3.68 (tax and all) she says:

"You people are workers of the DEVIL!"

She plops down exact change, snatches up her bag, and storms out the door.

Whenever I see my old co-workers, we still have a good laugh about it.

5. RRRockets might have a summons coming.

Was a waiter for 5 years and the oddest was a guy with dried blood on his shirt and hands.

Ordered a coffee but only wanted it halfway filled. Only words he spoke to me.

Stayed for less than 5 minutes, paid with change, and was out the door before I even processed what was happening.

I still think about him from time to time and wonder if I was a part of an alibi or someone who'd just seen some shit and was in shock.

6. BloodyPenny gets pissed off as the chair gets pissed on.

I worked at Friendly's when I was 16. First serving job. One day, I'm sat a 10 top, two of which were counselors, the rest were special needs adults. As soon as I introduce myself the to table, one of the counselors cuts me off and says, "They all want Cokes. Bring them an extra cup with ice so we can pour in a little at a time." No problem. Come out with 8 Cokes and 8 glasses of ice. One of the clients gets excited and grabs my arm, causing me to spill the drinks on the floor. All of the clients at the table start laughing and the counselor tells me I need to "be more careful." After I clean everything up, I get the food order (lots of dietary restrictions.) As I start running the food out, the SAME CLIENT GOES FOR MY ARM AGAIN. I am able to avoid his grasp, but the counselor hisses "Watch yourself" like I had done something wrong. The table eats and gets ready to leave. The counselor leaves me a 72 cent tip on an $80 bill. On the way out the door, she grabs my arm and says, "Someone pissed the seat. Wear gloves when you clean it up." I worked at several restaurants since then over the last 10 years, but this is still my worst experience.

7. Tomato, tomahto, Hunny_Bunny20.

I had a guy yell at me, my cashier and my manager because there was a slice of tomato on his burger. He didn't want tomato and said he didn't ask for tomato on it. It comes with tomato. He said it was our fault that we didn't tell him that there is tomato in it. It's literally in the picture on the menu and in the description on the menu. He also never specifically said he didn't want tomato when ordering. He wanted a full refund when my manager had offered to give him a new one which will take our cook 2-3 minutes, we were going to give him the next patties that were ready. He didn't want that just the refund then told us how we ruined his lunch and wasted all his lunch break and now has to waste more time somewhere else to get lunch. He just had to wait 2 minutes. Asshole.

8. Dinosauruswrex has a master list.

In 7 years of experience:

1) Had a homeless guy washing his tennisballs in our restroom sink.

2) Had an escaped patient from a mental institution come in dropping numerous F bombs telling us he's the son of God and that we're going to hell. Dressed in all black.

3) Served a guy that kept coming in a lot in a short time. Turns out he had murdered a girl and dumped her near the river out back.

4) Had someone come in one time screaming that a truck was on fire, the customer who it belonged to said "that's why I have insurance" and calmly strolled outside at an oddly slow pace while everyone and their mother moved their vehicle.

5) Guy told me our gumbo "tastes like bleach" but ate most of it and wanted his money back. Told him he'd have better taste buds if he didn't kill them with bleach.

6) Had a guy send his plate back because his food was nice and hot but his physical plate was cold svc bringing down the temperature of his food too much.

7) Had a guy throw his plate back onto my tray effectively getting his food all over me because it wasn't hot enough. Owner of the place nuked it for 6 minutes and sent me back out with it. Old man couldn't touch it until everyone else at the table was done.

Tennis legend Serena Williams dropped a bomb on fans after casually sending out this Snapchat of herself in yellow swimsuit with the caption "20 weeks."

Surprise! One of the greatest athletes of all time is pregnant, y'all!

Peopleconfirmed the happy news, and Twitter promptly exploded.

Also, many Twitter users were quick to point out that Serena Williams won the Australian Open while pregnant. So, what was your excuse for skipping the gym again?

Less than a week ago, Serena Williams uploaded this sexy picture of herself showing off her abs in a string bikini. Sneaky, sneaky!

Williams, 35, recently got engaged to Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian, 33, in Rome this past December. This will be the first child for both of them.

Congrats to the happy couple (and Aunt Venus, of course)!

Dr. Pimple Popper is back once again. Today our fearless popper is taking on an epidermoid cyst on a man's back. We all know how much Dr. Pimple Popper loves comparing pimple fillings to food (egg salad, cheese curds, etc.), so what have we got on the menu today? Dr. Pimple Popper describes whatever it is she pulls out of this man's body as a "little baby garlic bulb." Yum.

It's like a gross, gooey car wreck. You just can't look away.

Once in a while, the internet shows you something you've never seen before or even imagined. This may be one of those moments—unless you've already seen a woman giving CPR to a pigeon. In which case, I'm sorry for what you've been through. But at least you're emotionally prepared for what's ahead.

To everyone else, welcome to your worst nightmare:

This bizarre, tragic, [insert adjectives here] scene was captured and shared by Charlotte, a 19-year-old art student, Mashable reports. "Meanwhile in Glasgow," she captioned the video, which was apparently taken in Glasgow, Scotland, and has since been shared more than 12 thousand times.

Sadly, it appears the woman's attempt to administer mouth-to-mouth resuscitation were not effective. And according to Charlotte, things turned out even worse for the poor bird after that.

"Omg just seen the same pigeon being eaten by a seagull," she wrote.

RIP pigeon. What a journey you've had. People on Twitter are reacting to the strange video and its tragic ending with a whole range of emotions...

...while others find humor in the situation.

And some just see this video as a sign that the apocalypse is nigh.

This story raises a lot of questions, mainly about the woman giving mouth-to-mouth to a pigeon: Did she have a relationship with that pigeon? Is she some kind of bird whisperer? Years ago, did that pigeon do her a huge favor and she's devoted her life to repaying it? Or did the pigeon owe her money?

At least that pigeon died in the hands of someone who sees pigeons and humans as equals. And there's something very beautiful, if not disturbing, about that.

No matter what you do, confidence is key.

Just ask this Jeopardy! contestant who gave the wrong answer so confidently, you may have been convinced that he was right for a hot second.

Sure, this little clip may not be everyone's sense of humor, but Twitter effectively fell in love with "confident Kevin," who, by the way, didn't even bother to answer in the form of a question.

This guy's got chutzpah!

No really, dude don't GAF.

Thanks for inspiring us to be strong even when wrong today, Kevin. You're a real 'hot gun' in our books.

Rimmel London had to pull a new mascara ad featuring Cara Delevingne after the UK's Advertising Standards Authority deemed it "misleading."

The ASA ruled to ban the ad because it used false lashes to sell Rimmel's Scandaleyes Reloaded line of mascara, which is said to give consumers "dangerously bold lashes." According to the BBC, the ad failed to mention that Cara Delevigne was wearing some individual lash inserts, and that some of her lashes had been redrawn in post-production.

Rimmel's parent company Coty UK argued that Delevingne's lashes were full on their own, and that lash inserts and touch-ups in post production are standard practice.

The ASA wasn't buying it. Its ruling stated:

Because the ad conveyed a volumising, lengthening and thickening effect of the product we considered the use of lash inserts and the post-production technique were likely to exaggerate the effect beyond what could be achieved by the product among consumers.

Because the ad was ruled to be "misleading," Coty UK pulled it off the air.

Man. I feel like my life has been a lie. PLEASE, TELL ME CARA'S BROWS ARE REAL. (I'm kidding, I know they are. You can't fake brows that flawless.)

Royce Winnick, a photographer/mom from New York, was recently confounded by a homework assignment that her five-year-old daughter received in kindergarten. As a way of introducing youngsters to the alphabet, the handout gave them a letter (in this case "T"), then showed them a series of pictures and asked them to "tap out the word in the picture and write the sounds you hear." If that seems confusing to you, you're not alone. But strap in, because you're about to get much, much more confused.

For the life of her, Winnick couldn't figure out what the word for the rabbits was supposed to be? Troupe? Tawny? Trabbits? Neither Winnick nor anyone she knew could figure it out. She even shared the ditto on Facebook, but nobody had a clue. Her daughter wound up going with "pet."

As you can see on the graded assignment, the teacher wrote "OK" next to the answer, indicating that it wasn't the answer she was looking for, but she'd accept it. (Maybe she finally realized how insane the question was.) Winnick shared the supposedly correct answer with The Huffington Post.

The real answer was "vet" which makes no sense!

Yes. "Vet."

That doesn't even begin with T! What kind of crazy mind games are they playing with our children?!

Winnick also shared the page for the letter "K" with The Huffington Post. If anything, it's more confusing. (For one picture, you have to guess that a man's name is Ken.)

This kind of homework will either produce a generation of superintelligent geniuses, or perpetually depressed sad sacks with no self-esteem. Either way, this school is playing with fire.

This is Nadia Tasher. When she was 23 years old, she began suffering from a bizarre illness that no doctor seemed to be able to identify. In the course of one year, she visited doctors over 80 times, only to be told each time that she was either a hypochondriac, or suffering from anxiety, or both. Not one of them realized that what she was dealing with was actually lupus, a potentially life-threatening, chronic disease of the immune system.

Speaking to Cosmopolitan.com,Tasher explained that the first sign of illness was a rash, which began on her face, then showed up on her arms and finally all down her legs. Next, her hair started falling out—baldness and thinning hair are symptoms of lupus, according to Lupus.org.

Tasher also began to lose a lot of weight. At first, she was actually happy about it, because her wedding was coming up. But once she stopped dieting and exercising and the weight still continued to come off, she knew something was wrong.

Additionally, she began to have joint pain. At the time, she had no idea why, but it's because lupus causes the tissue in between joints to erode, which leads to painful rubbing.

She told Cosmpolitan.com:

I get really bad hip and neck pain, which stops me from walking too far. . . I look fine – I don’t have crutches and I’m not in a wheelchair – so people just expect you to manage it, but I feel like I’m old before my time. Every movement is painful and it can often feel like I’ve been beaten up.

But despite all her symptoms (which by now also included extreme fatigue), doctors didn't believe she was actually sick. They thought Tasher was a hypochondriac, or else that she was suffering from anxiety. She explained,

They insisted I was suffering from anxiety, and said all my symptoms were as a result of stress and panic attacks. I’d go in and say to them "I’m really worried because…", but that word "worried" would instantly lead them to the conclusion I was suffering from anxiety, so their only solution was to tell me to go home and rest. . .

I would go in with a list of my symptoms because there were so many I was worried I’d forget, but that would make them think I was even more paranoid. They told me I was a hypochondriac, and one GP even said she was going to have to refer me to a psychologist because "I’d invented an illness in my head."

After spending a lot of time on Google researching her symptoms, Tasher learned about lupus. Doctors tested her and the results came back positive, but her doctors chalked those up to "false positives." Fed up, Tasher saw a lupus specialist, who confirmed what she believed—she was suffering from lupus.

Tasher was happy to finally have a diagnosis, but it was also heartbreaking, because lupus is incurable. She manages her symptoms with medications, but she still isn't able to live her life the way she wants to. She gave up her goal of doing police work, because of the intense physical demands. It also may affect her ability to have kids one day. She told Cosmpolitan.com:

I feel like my life has been stolen from me; I can’t have the career I’d planned to have, I might not be able to have the children I want to have, holidays and outings have to be planned way in advance and there’s never a day that I don’t suffer from the pain.

But what’s almost worse is the mental battle you have to go through because you look so ‘normal’ on the outside. Hopefully doctors will become more informed about lupus so other people don’t have to go through the struggle I did to get a diagnosis.

Hopefully cases like Nadia Tasher's will help doctors learn more about the disease, and maybe one day even find a cure.

Despite making up nearly half the workforce, women still have to deal with a fair share of BS when it comes to their careers. Though ladies in nearly all fields have to deal with some sexism in some form, women writers rallied on Twitter to share their particular stories about being belittled, underestimated and scrutinized in ways that men writers are not.

It all started when Joanne Harris, the author of Chocolat, started a conversation with her followers about how many writers she knows who have given up because it was too hard to take the constant rejection.

One woman chimed in to say she gave up writing because it was hard to balance raising a family with her career. That is when Harris argued that it is possible to be a mother and writer at the same time.

Like clockwork, a man got defensive and tweeted at Harris to tell her that men also "sacrifice interests for family."

Harris had the best answer for him:

And thus, the #ThingsOnlyWomenWritersHear hashtag was born.

Harris started the conversation by tweeting about some of her own experiences.

Soon, women writers flooded Twitter with stories of the sexist encounters they regularly deal with.

It also became evident that a lot of women writers are made to answer for their husbands.

Some men tried to sabotage the hashtag by arguing with women writers who were sharing their experiences. Thankfully, they were heavily outnumbered by people who don't suck.

The #ThingsOnlyWomenWritersHear hashtag also inspired two other hashtags. Soon, women of color started tweeting about their unique experiences under the #WhatWoCWritersHear, and people with disabilities used the #WhatDisabledWritersHear hashtag.

Notorious former Bachelor contestant Ashley Iaconetti (known on the show as "Ashley I" or "the one who cries") appeared on The Tomorrow Show on Monday, where she dropped this bombshell: Tommy Lee (yes, that one) "basically sexually assaulted" her backstage at a Mötley Crüe show about seven years ago.

"I have a story with Tommy Lee, he almost like, he basically sexually assaulted me," the 29-year-old said. "He like pushed me against a couch very similar to this, and like licked me from my chin to my forehead, which apparently I found out is something that he just does."

Ah, well that explains it, sexual assault is "just something that he does."

Her allegations, if true, are horrifying and not at all shocking. We are all well aware of the kind of entitlement and physical aggression men in power are capable of getting away with (ahem, Mr. President). Ashley I relayed the whole story, which she says happened when she was 22 and "super innocent" having "only kissed a handful of guys":

Then I said I have a boyfriend and I was like, "Please don’t touch me"… [Tommy Lee] didn’t really care … Then he grabbed me by my shoulders and he said, "I’m gonna have my way with you right here on the floor in front of everyone." I was like, "Okay, I think I’m going to leave now." And then I walked out of the room and I just like hung out backstage with my sister. Yeah, It was kind of creepy.

Yeah, uh, that's extremely creepy. Ashley I has since retracted her sexual assault allegation and softened her account of the incident, telling told Page Six on Tuesday that she was "just really taken aback and really out of my comfort zone."

She said she and her sister "laughed about it as soon as we got into the car and still do to this day," adding: "It’s just a funny story to tell." I guess we have different definitions of "funny," because to me this is a "rapey," "scary" and "sadly not surprising or uncommon" story.

Ashley I appeared on Chris Soules' season of The Bachelor followed by two memorable appearances onBachelor in Paradise, where everyone gave her a hard time for crying so much, mostly over that dweeb, Jared. Maybe people will give her a break now that they know she's been allegedly non-consensually licked by Tommy Lee.

Bill O'Reilly is no more! Well, he still exists, he just won't be on Fox anymore.

On Wednesday, Fox News sent an internal memo to staff that O'Reilly would not be returning to the network from a "vacation":

It had recently come to light that Fox News paid over $13 million to five women he has been accused of sexually harassing. (President Trump thought this was just fine.) And now Twitter is having a big ol' "So long, O'Reilly" party. More like, Bill Go'Byelly, right? Hello? Is this thing on?

Anyway, here are the funniest tweets about Bill O'Reilly getting fired.

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Yikes. Barack Obama's oldest daughter Malia Obama has a "long-term" stalker who is now in police custody in New York, the New York Daily News reports.

On April 10th, 30-year-old Jair Nilton Cardoso reportedly put a sign in a window of the building in Tribeca where 18-year-old Obama has an internship, begging her to marry him. Two days later on April 12, he is reported to have followed her out of another building in the West Village where she also interns (this girl doesn't rest!).

When Secret Service agents kicked him off the premises, sources said, they recognized him as someone who has "repeatedly" tried to enter the White House in the past. According to the Daily News, Secret Service then showed up at Cardoso's apartment the next day. After an interview, they concluded he had "psychiatric issues," cuffed him and took him to a hospital for evaluation.

On Tuesday, Secret Service agents reported Cardoso to a Manhattan police precinct, sources told the Daily News, and cops are "mulling over" whether to file stalking or harassment charges.

Either way, let's hope this guy leaves Malia alone from now on.

April 20th is 4/20 (well, it is in America—sorry, Europe), the only day that stoners can remember, and we already have the munchies.

We asked our readers on Facebook to tell us their dankest delights—that is, the weirdest foods they have ever eaten while stoned—so we can mix up our menus as we faithfully observe the holiday.

And man, many are almost as gross-tasting as the brownie that gets you high in the first place.

1. Lorraine has all the help she needs.

Hamburger Helper... minus the hamburger....so just Helper.

2. Olivia went for the both savory and sweet.

One time I smoked at a friends house and we had no money and barely any food. We ended up eating deli salami on blueberry bagels. Was the greatest thing ever at the time.

3. Courtney has some next-level fun with Funyuns.

Funyuns. All of the Funyuns. The crunching inside your head while loopy is magical.

4. Vic eats efficiently.

Steak with shake on it....Because we had [too] much weed, we ran out if ideas of what to do with it lmao!!!!

5. Robert combined his appetizer and dessert.

We made/ate strawberries w/ whip cream in a tossed salad. Gone in 5 minutes.

6. LaTisha has the whole State Fair.

Don't judge me. Corn dogs with chili and cheese, mustard ketchup and pickle relish and Cheezits...I was blasted and this was about 19 yrs ago...it was so good though!! Oh and a peach nehi...

7. Leon isn't allowed to speak of the teriyaki incident ever again.

PB&J with keef. Deep fried chocolate covered bananas. Then there was the teriyaki incident, that didn't do well at all. Learned to not mix Chinese when well stoned. ​​​​​

8. Danielle could be a Subway sandwich artist.

I once ate banana peppers and cottage cheese, then I'm sure paired those with something sweet and chocolate-y afterwards.

9. Brian's seems particularly risky.

Chocolate covered dill pickle slices.

10. Danielle invented her own flavor of chips.

Nacho Doritos and mustard.

11. Lisa has eggs and nuts.

Scrambled eggs with crunchy peanut butter.

12. Caisse's trick is a vegetarian treat.

Peanut butter and bananas in potato bread hot dog buns

13. Jennifer has it all figured out.

Slice of Oscar Mayer roast beef
Small handful of chocolate frosted flakes
Drizzle honey
Roll up like a burrito
Sweet and salty goodness