President Trump is nothing if not a crybaby. This week alone, he threw a tantrum because the New England Patriots like Obama more than him and repeated the outrageous lie that people are getting paid to protest his garbage administration.

But his latest complaint had some merit. Trump was angry about the "first 100 days," an admittedly somewhat arbitrary standard by which a president is typically judged by what they accomplish in their initial three-months-plus in office, when they have the most political capital to get things done. You may recall, of course that Trump's team has utterly failed to move their agenda forward in that time. Like, at all. What about the winning we were promised?

First off, naming a guy to the Supreme Court was the easiest job you had. That does not count. Secondly: OK, maybe the first 100 days is unfair as a benchmark. So then why—as the Daily Dot pointed out—does your own dumb website still host a list of things you said you were going to address/fix/change/abolish in that period? You're at day 92 right now, so what are you waiting for?

Look, idiot—you even bolded the phrase "100-day action plan." God, you suck.

So, going by your own 100-day itinerary, how are you faring, Mr. President?

We can only guess that Trump's announcement that tax reform was just around the corner—which surprised even his staff—is a last-ditch effort to prove that he's not just playing golf all the time. Let's hope it goes as well as health care did.

What do the people who work at McDonald's wear? I swear I've never even looked. I feel like I can recall a visor with the golden arches on it, and maybe a polo shirt—red, or black? Honestly, I can't even imagine caring.

Nonetheless, McDonald's is compelled to occasionally roll out new uniforms for their employees, lest someone malign their fashion aesthetic while ordering a 20-piece box of McNuggets. So in 2017, you can expect to start seeing... this.

Drab, gray, geometric: This is the future of fast food, and you better be lovin' it. Please do not point out how similar these threads are to the stuff worn in dystopian science-fiction and horror films for the last half-century or so.

On the "bright" side, bet that color really hides the inevitable grease stains.

Ammar Campa-Najjar, a 28-year-old of Latino and Arab heritage who previously worked for Obama's 2012 campaign and as a community activist, is running for Congress in 2018. He hopes to change the narrative in California's District 50, where Hillary Clinton didn't see much support in 2016 and a Republican incumbent has held the House seat since 2009.

Oh, and here's what he looks like.

Wowza. As you might expect, his views, platform, and campaign style quickly took a backseat to an absolute deluge of Twitter thirst. Apparently, a vote is not all Campa-Najjar can get.

Campa-Najjar apparently faces a bruising battle ahead—he's the fifth Democrat to throw his hat into this particular ring—so any edge should help. Maybe he should set up a combination Voter Registration/Kissing Booth?

Actress Erin Moran, best known for playing Joanie Cunningham on the hit TV sitcoms Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi, died on Saturday at age 56.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Moran was found in her home after Harrison County dispatch officers in Indiana received a call about an "unresponsive female." She was pronounced dead at the scene.

Since news first broke, Moran's fellow costars, including actors Ron Howard and Henry Winkler, have already shared some of their feelings on the loss, and reflections on Moran's life.

Dan Most, who played Ralph Malph on Happy Days also made a statement after hearing about Moran's death:

"I am so incredibly sad to hear about Erin. She was a wonderful, sweet, caring, talented woman. As I write this I can’t really comprehend this right now. A very painful loss. It gives me some comfort to know that she’s with Tom, Al, Pat and Garry. Rest In Peace, sweet Erin."

And cast member Anson Williams, who played Potsie, remembered Moran, too:

"Erin was a person who made everyone around her feel better. She truly cared about others first, a true angel. I will miss her so much, but know that she is in God’s hands. RIP sweet angel."

"It was so surreal with all the cast members...They were my family," Moran told Xfinity in 2009, according to The AP.

The reviews of Kendrick Lamar's latest album, DAMN., are overwhelmingly positive, but we found the one that counts the most:

Just because you're one of the most successful rap artists in pop culture, doesn't mean you don't need the support and approval of your dear old mom, right? The emoji-filled message of love and positivity is so "classic mom" that I cannot get over it. And the rest of the internet loved her message of praise, too.

MOMS ARE THE BEST THE END GOODBYE.

Thank god for this fifth grader who is answering the big questions. A Reddit user explains that one of his or her students asked to do a project comparing and contrasting The Rock (the wrestler) and A Rock (like the things in the ground). "It wasn't even for a grade," the teacher remarks.

Here's a picture of the final product, for which the kid better be getting extra credit:

This wonderful Venn Diagram does a great job of pointing out the differences between Dwayne Johnson and a blob of minerals. For one thing, this kid knows the terms "biotic" and "abiotic", which I personally find quite impressive. But my favorite part of this chart is the similarities between the two:

• Super Strong
• Bald
• Indestructible

And Dwayne Johnson loved it too. After this project was posted to Reddit on Friday, the actor and ex-wrestler sang the student's praises:

I can't wait for this kid to found the next big startup in the sixth grade.

Among the many things Donald Trump promised but can't actually get done because nobody likes him, the fantasy of a bigly beautiful wall on the Mexican border is perhaps the most striking metaphor of his idiocy. After all, he began his campaign by slurring the entire nation and has repeatedly vowed that he will somehow—maybe with a great deal!—get them to pay for the structure, despite maybe eight people total seriously believing that this is in any way plausible.

But maybe the reality of the situation is starting to dawn on Trump: Nobody wants to help him get this idiotic project off the ground, not even the entirely Republican-controlled U.S. government. So, time to blame Democrats.

Actually, Obama already deported all of the MS 13. What else ya got?

Dude, why do you sound like a broke stoner promising to get the rest of the money to his weed dealer next week? Could you undermine yourself any harder. Anyway, hate to tell you, but pretty much nobody is buying this anymore.

I honestly don't know why Trump's Sunday schedule always includes some early-morning tweets he's sure to get roasted for. Doesn't he have golf to play?

Did everyone have a nice Earth Day? Good, because OUR PLANET IS DYING and it's important to appreciate it while it's still alive! It would be even better to save it from man-made climate change, of course, which is a point that Bill Nye—whom you may know as a guy of science—hammered when he appeared on CNN's guest panel for the environmental holiday.

Nye was especially riled up because CNN had also booked William Happer, a Princeton physicist and Trump advisor possessed by the wacky ideas that carbon dioxide is not a pollutant, that it isn't warming the planet, and that the "demonization of carbon dioxide is just like the demonization of the poor Jews under Hitler." (Yeah, he really said that. Just when you thought you'd heard every Hitler analogy!)

“I will say, as much as I love the CNN, you’re doing a disservice by having one climate change skeptic, and not 97 or 98 scientists or engineers concerned about climate change,” Nye said, calling Happer's inclusion on the panel a "disservice" to viewers and providing the real data about rising levels of carbon dioxide in our atmosphere. When Happer pushed back with his bogus claims, Nye replied, "That’s completely wrong. Say what you will, but you have it absolutely wrong."

Next time you want to tangle with Nye, best to have a leg to stand on.

I've become a fairly avid runner over the past year, but the idea of running 26.2 miles along with a huge crowd—and in front of other huge crowds—is still pretty daunting. How do people have the endurance for such a feat?

In truth, not everyone does. And when London Marathon runner Matthew Rees, representing the Swansea Harriers club, noticed that competitor David Wyeth looked close to collapsing just a few feet from the finish line, he swooped in to save the day.

"I took the final corner thinking 'right, it’s nearly done, time to sprint,' and I saw this guy and his legs just crumbled below him," Rees told the Press Association. "I saw him try to stand up again and his legs just went down again, and I thought ‘this is more important, getting him across the line is more important than shaving a few seconds off my time."

Even though Prince Harry and Prince William were there to applaud his efforts, Rees was humble, saying that his own calf had cramped early on and that he had struggled throughout the day.

"We’ve got the exact same emotions but in different ways," he said of Wyeth, "he can’t walk and I have just had an awful race, I just want to get to the finish line and so does he. This is what the marathon is about—it's about people—it’s for everyone. Moments like this make it worth it."

Even for those of us watching from the couch.

From childhood through the end of college, making friends seems like a natural thing: You just meet someone you have a few things in common with—or whose company you enjoy—and the two of you have a ton of fun together.

When you're an adult in the workplace, however, striving to get a job done in an office where anyone might turn out to be a complete weirdo or jerk, social interaction feels more like a trap. When is it appropriate to start joking around with a co-worker, or suggest a happy hour drink together? Do you really want to know about their personal life? Also, what's their name, again?

So we can totally understand why someone tried to break the ice with a little cross-cubicle note-swapping. Too bad it went down the way it did.

Welp, time to polish that résumé—there's no way you can ever go back now.

Fox News, the cable channel whose CEO and top-performing anchor were both ousted amid massive hush-money settlements and accusations of endless sexual harassment, may not be quite done clearing house. Sean Hannity—arguably the dumbest of the bunch, if his idiotic defenses of Donald Trump are any indication—apparently crossed a line with one of the channels women contributors, lawyer and columnist Debbie Schlussel.

“This kind of stuff is all over the place at Fox News and anything that has to do with Sean Hannity,” Schlussel said.

Could this breaking scandal be part of the reason why Hannity went on a deranged Twitter rant blasting the New York Times this weekend? After all, the NYT did publish the major scoop about Bill O'Reilly that ultimately got him fired—so it would be in his interests to try and discredit them before they report a very similar Hannity story.

A brave member of the resistance busted out a Sharpie and got to work this weekend, scrawling "F--- Trump" above Donald Trump's name on his Hollywood star.

According to TMZ, who nabbed photos of the freshly defaced granite slab, this isn't the first time that Trump's star has been destroyed. Back in October, a vandal by the name of James Otis took a pick ax and so thoroughly chiseled the star that it had to be completely replaced. According to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, replacing the star costs $30K. Oops!

But it looks like this magic marker job will just take a bit of rubbing alcohol and some elbow grease. Stay vigilant, and keep resisting! Especially since Trump's 100 day approval ratings are the lowest of any president since Eisenhower.

Remember that time Trump seemingly refused to shake Chancellor of German Angela Merkel's hand? So much has happened since then, but let's go back to that day in March and revisit the events through the eyes of the President. Because today, during an interview with the Associated Pressabout his first 100 days in office, Trump told his version of the events.

"One of the best chemistries I had was with Merkel," the President said. I like to imagine he said this with the wistfulness of a lover looking back on a relationship that never worked out—staring off into the distance, a longing in his eyes. He goes on:

"And I guess somebody shouted out, 'Shake her hand, shake her hand,' you know. But I never heard it. But I had already shaken her hand four times. You know, because we were together for a long time."

Yes, they were together for a long time. It must have been hard for them to end things after shaking hands four times...breaking up is never easy, especially after that level of vulnerability. It's truly a shame that the public had to misconstrue the special thing they shared. But hey, they'll always have that time together and no one can take that way from them.

I like to imagine the day, years from now, when Trump is no longer President, the ice caps are but a distant memory, yet somehow Merkel still has that bowl cut. The two of them will run into each other in a cafe in Berlin—Trump is there on business, he's a washed up motivational speaker now, and buying himself a cookie before he heads to a sagging auditorium to deliver a half-hearted speech—and they catch each other's crow-footed eyes.

"Those cookies are good," Merkel will smile.

"I've heard very good things," he'll say, nervously crinkling the wax paper encasing his cookie before venturing, "hey, you want to grab a drink, catch up while I'm in town?"

"Oh, that sounds nice," she'd say, but her eyes would betray her—the hurt welling up, old pain returning to the surface.

"I'm here 'til Thursday. Call me," Trump will say, before slouching out of the cafe in his poorly tailored suit. But she knows better than that. She'll never call.

On-again/off-again couple Tyga and Kylie Jenner are off-again, for sure this time (although who knows how long they'll stay that way). Kylie was seen at Coachella hanging out with Travis Scott, and now it sure looks like Tyga has a new girlfriend of his own. And she looks…familiar.

TMZ has some pictures of his new mystery lady, and while she doesn't look exactly like Kylie Jenner, there's a pretty strong resemblance in some ways. They don't have identical faces, but their body types are similar, as well as their medium length hair and fondness for tight jeans and crop tops. She could be Kylie, maybe just from far away and behind.

According to TMZ, Tyga and his new maybe-girlfriend had dinner Thursday night at WeHo's Serafina Sunset, and along with their meal came a side of physical chemistry. Guess we'll just have to wait and see how this progresses.

There are hundreds of amusing, hurtful ways to shoot down dick pics, but whoever runs Samsung's Twitter account just made them all obsolete.

After making the dangerous request that everyone on the internet send them the first photo they took with the Galaxy S8 (dangerous but not, like, your phone's gonna blow up dangerous—that was the Samsung Galaxy Note7), they received the world's most predictable response.

At least there was no photo evidence. Samsung needed just one emoji to handle the situation.

Yes, that is a microscope. Yes, it's also available on IOS. Keep it copied at all times, and ready to paste into any dick pic situation.

Naturally, Twitter applauded with one trillion hand clapping emojis.

Looks like PR's going a lot better this time around. Congratulations, Samsung. All it took was a dick pic.

Well, mostly.

Blake Lively is a bona fide fashionista, but there is definitely a time and place to ask her about her outfit...and Variety's Power of Women event is not one of them.

Lively was being honored for her work combating child pornography with the Child Rescue Coalition at the star-studded event in New York on Friday, and things got tense when a reporter asked her about her outfit on the red carpet.

Oy, read the room, reporter!

"Really? At this event, you're asking me about my outfit?" Lively asked, clearly perturbed. "Seriously...Would you ask a man that?"

Later in the day, Lively delivered an emotional speech about the sexual exploitation of children at the annual luncheon.

"I didn’t really know what child pornography was," explained the actress. "I was afraid to ask what it was, as a mother, because it would be painful to hear. But I felt I had to ask, and I wanted to share with you. It is the truth, and I believe if we all knew this, we would dedicate much more of ourselves to stopping it."

Brandon Maxwell, who designed Lively's outfit for the event, gave the former Gossip Girl a shout-out on his Instagram thanking her for protecting vulnerable children and doing important work.

Blake Lively is not the only woman who is sick of being asked strictly superficial questions. In 2014, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, CEO of The Representation Project, launched the #askhermore campaign, urging reporters and correspondents to ask women more meaningful questions than "who are you wearing?" on the red carpet.

"Now it’s up to us – women and our allies, in the industry and out – to keep up the pressure through the rest of awards season," wrote Newsom in an essay for The Daily Beast."Perhaps by next year we can convince the Emmys, and the rest of Hollywood, that if they are truly committed to inclusive representation, they might spend less time ogling the bodies of women, and more time celebrating and awarding their talent on stage."

In a thrilling sports moment at the highest level of basketball, two contestants raced each other in hamster balls. This is a critical moment in any basketball game, and oftentimes the most exciting.

But this hamster ball race—like all hamster ball races—was not without its twists, its turns, its heartbreak, its drama. An adult, already demeaning himself by running around in a giant hamster ball for a crowd of screaming fans, smashed into a child to gain an advantage. The kid goes down, but it's not so easy.

Revenge is a dish best served mascot. For the record, his name is Jazz Bear. Apparently, his victim was really shaken.

Some will say this is too good to be true, like almost anything that happens during the commercial break at a basketball game. Others will just enjoy the high drama and not think about it too much.

Which type of person do you want to be?

5. Sean Hannity, because he's the latest Fox News host to get busted for sexual harassment.

Less than a week after Fox News fired Bill O'Reilly, its most popular anchor, over sexual harassment allegations, it looks like a similar fate could befall his heir apparent, Sean Hannity. Over the weekend, he was also accused of harassment.

In a radio interview on Friday, former Fox News contributor and conservative commentator Debbie Schlussel said that during an event they were both attending in Detroit, Hannity asked her to come back to his hotel. When she turned him down, she was not invited to appear on his show again. Schlussel said, "This kind of stuff is all over the place at Fox News and anything that has to do with Sean Hannity."

If advertisers started dropping Hannity like they did with O'Reilly, it would be bad news for the network. O'Reilly and Hannity have long been its two largest talking heads, both figuratively and literally.

If Fox News were forced to fire Hannity as well, it would be up to Tucker Carlson to save the network. In other words, Fox News would die.

4. Kylie Jenner, because fur protesters ruined her red carpet moment.

Reality starlet Kylie Jenner was in Las Vegas on Saturday for the grand opening of Sugar Factory, a 22,000-square-foot restaurant/candy shop/clothes retailer/celebrity hangout. (We don't get it either.)

She stopped by the red carpet, but was forced to cut her photo op short when she realized protesters were waiting for her there, ready to turn her sweet evening bitter. As you can see in this video from TMZ, they immediately started heckling her about her love of furs.

They started chanting that Jenner has "blood on her hands," prompting a swift exit from the young celebutante. Sure, she could have stayed and debated the ethics of fur with them (especially because she's attached her name to fake fur products in the past) but she was too busy. She had candy to buy, or something.

Sorry, we're still just very confused by this store.

3. Prince William, because he got squirted.

Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge (a.k.a. the world's crush Kate Middleton) came out for the London Marathon on Sunday. While they weren't running themselves (William's ankles are far too aristocratic for that), they heroically stood on the sidelines, handing out bottles of water to their subjects and cheering them on in their jolly old jog. That is, until some modern-day Guy Fawkes decided to throw that royal gift back in the Prince's face… literally.

Some unidentified prankster with an anti-royalist agenda squirted William in the face with a dose of H2O. His Highness laughed it off with a good-natured grimace, but deep inside his monarchic brain, he must have been pissed. You know what he really wanted to do to that guy.

2. A Massachusetts man who tried to sell graves to more than one stiff.

71-year-old John Hughes of Revere, MA was sentenced on Thursday to two years probation (including three months of home confinement) after pleading guilty to one of the most shortsighted cons we've ever heard. Hughes, the administrator of a city-owned cemetery since 2007, had apparently been selling unused burial plots at a discount since 2011, even though those plots had already been sold to future occupants. He kept his scheme secret from the town and pocketed all the money, selling a total of 13 double-booked graves before he was caught. How rude!

While the news of his crime will definitely come as a disappointment to everyone he conned, at least he was found out before any of the purchasers actually died. Imagine going to a loved one's funeral, only to find there's already someone in the grave. It's like the awkwardness of walking in on someone in the bathroom, multiplied by 100. Plus grief.

1. A guy who impersonated a cop and accidentally pulled over a real cop.

Pretending to be a cop and pulling over drivers may seem like a victimless crime, if you're an idiot. But if you're doing it, you're probably an idiot already. After all, you never know who's going to roll down the window. Marcos Pacheco-Bustamante of Miami-Dade County, FL learned that the hard way recently, when he pulled over a real detective in full uniform.

With a blue flashing light attached to the top of his dark green Ford Crown Victoria, Pacheco-Bustamante made a traffic stop on I-95 during the middle of rush hour. Unfortunately, the vehicle he stopped turned out to be an unmarked police car driven by Miami-Dade Detective Alton Martin, who immediately saw through the ruse.

Pacheco-Bustamante was charged with impersonating a police officer and jailed on $5,000 bond. Under questioning, he revealed that this wasn't the first time he'd played Cops and Robbers. Police also found a realistic-looking BB gun by the driver's seat.

Despite this damning evidence, he insists his motivation was pure—he usually only pulled over drivers who were speeding or texting. So he's not really a crook, he's just an amateur vigilante. Like a low-rent Batman.

On Sunday, former President Bill Clinton took advantage of a new installation at the Clinton Center in Little Rock, AR to throw major shade at his successor, Donald Trump. Standing in front of a giant grasshopper statue, he tweeted the following message.

The reference to the center being "bugged" clearly seems like a reference to President Trump's repeated claim that President Obama ordered an illegal wiretap on him at Trump Tower, an accusation that Trump has offered no evidence to support, and which has been widely refuted by the intelligence community.

It's also one hell of a dad joke. The "bugging" pun is bad enough to make anyone cringe, even without the visual aid of an enormous insect. Clinton may have once been the most powerful man in the world, but now he's a corny grandpa.

The statue is part of the Clinton Center's new Xtreme BUGS exhibit, and was installed to coincide with Earth Day.

So far, there's been no public reaction from President Trump to the tweet. But considering how sensitive he is, it's safe to say it's bugging him.