Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

19 Memes Men Probably Won't Find Funny.

$
0
0

Bros probably won't find these memes all that funny, but we don't give a rip. This hilarious meme list is for all fierce ladies who love to laugh.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.


17 people share where their high school crushes are today. (Hint: Probably gay.)

$
0
0

They say first love is the strongest, but nobody forgets their first real crush. It hits everyone like a boombox to the face at a school talent show and it makes us sweaty, anxious and weird.

Whether you have the type of high school love that involves promises of marriage and babies, emo make out sessions in cemeteries, or only communicating via text message and then running away the second you see them in the hallway--first love is true love. There's a reason why Romeo & Juliet had to die and it's because being a teenager in love makes everyone fully insane.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, a recent Reddit thread asked users, "What is your high school crush doing now?" and people truly went there. From heartwarming tales of unrequited love to reigniting old flames into adulthood, love is in the internet air. Welcome back to high school, we hope you all find Hershey kisses in your lockers.

1. Give it up for Todd, "IronMermaiden."

Hes married to his high school girlfriend. When I was a sophomore he was a senior and I wrote him a note and asked him out to get coffee. He was so polite about turning me down. Todd... you beautiful man... if you're reading this, hi and thanks for not crushing a 16 year old to pieces.

2. It's ok, "shalste2."

She’s married to a guy in the MLB, before me she dated another guy who made it to the NBA. I’m decent at beer pong and throwing a frisbee tho :/

3. Anything is possible, "kingxgamer."

I was actually thinking about her the other week. She graduated and never got on social media, so I never was able to befriend her on Facebook. None of my friends even remembers her… I describe what she looked like and everything, so I’m thinking she never existed and I’m just crazy.

4. We all go through a Jack phase, "quokka597."

I have two. I haven't kept up with them, but this question inspired me to look them up on Facebook.

One of them is studying political science at Yale and will be starting law school in the fall.

The other one hasn't posted anything on Facebook in years, but his profile picture is a photo of him drinking Jack straight out of the bottle.

5. Well done, "squeeeeenis."

Prison.

I did, however, hook up with him before prison.

6. Wow this is beautiful, "grammarchick."

I'm not sure, but I know he did get a teaching degree so hopefully he got a good job and is enlightening kids somewhere. I actually went to the same college that he did, and just before he graduated I simply sat down with him and confessed that he had been my crush back in high school. He turned bright red and said he was surprised he was anyone's crush - he was caught up in sports and extra classes and didn't date much. He thanked me and gave me a hug, and somewhere in my head my 16-year-old self shrieked with glee.

7. This is the truest of tragedies, "Impulse882."

Recently found out I was the high school crush of my high school crush.

Oh the chances we don’t take

8. This is a three sentence story that make me cry, "uusuzanne."

Got back together with him after 38 years apart. We had 8 wonderful years before he died of cancer. He's been gone 3 years now and the loss is still fresh. But I am so glad we had those 8 years!

9. Very important information, "teaching-man."

I just googled her, yeah, she’s still hot.

10. We all have our strengths, "JDLovesElliot."

She's a crossfit bodybuilder now. I am struggling to go to the gym once a week.

11. Good one, "DerpySealzVI."

Idk, she has her curtains closed so I can’t look in

12. Aww, "ExtensionPerformer."

He's over on the couch browsing reddit on his phone.

13. Yes, yes, yes! "kmfstudios."

Watching TV in our room. We reconnected almost 20 years after high school. I’m planning on proposing next month.

14. Nice, "Hogosha."

I have 2. One is happily married to her wife and serving the military. The other is in the FBI.

I think I have a type

15. We've all been here, "prunepicker."

He’s living with his boyfriend on the coast of California. No, I didn’t know he was gay.

16. High school is a real journey, "jewbotbotbot."

She came out as a lesbian and started dating my best friend. I have since come out as gay so we're all just friends now.

Happy Valentine's Day!

60 LGBTQ people share their first kiss stories and they’ll give you butterflies.

$
0
0

Regardless of whether the kiss itself was considered good or not, most of us remember our first kiss. It's an emotional and physical milestone constantly obsessed over in popular music and television, and can either set off a formative romance, or serve as a bad story for the ages.

Unfortunately, since popular culture is still so heteronormative, most of the depictions of first kisses in the media refer to straight couples, and oftentimes forums full of people sharing their first kisses assume straightness.

So, in a recent Twitter thread the musician Adult Mom asked their LGBTQ followers to share their first kisses, and the thread is full of both romance and drama.

The answers are still flowing in, and there's time for you to add your own first kiss! But in the meantime, I gathered 60 first kiss stories to gaze upon as you prepare for Valentines Day.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

31.

32.

33.

34.

35.

36.

37.

38.

39.

40.

41.

42.

43.

44.

45.

46.

47.

48.

49.

50.

51.

52.

53.

54.

55.

56.

57.

58.

59.

60.

15 parents share the most embarrassing things their toddlers ever said in public. Hide yo kids.

$
0
0

Kids are adorable, innocent beacons of the hope for the future. Sometimes, though, they're ticking time bombs for embarrassing moments.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that children are exploring a very confusing world full of things like mosquitos (why?), reality television, water falling from the sky, and Donald Trump. The only tool children have to access information is by asking questions and sometimes those questions are either brutally honest, fully insulting, or both.

When a recent Reddit thread asked parents, "What is the most embarrassing thing your toddler said out loud in public?" people were quick to share the grocery store moments that haunt their dreams.

1. Oh my god, "chronically_varelse."

My sister, at about age 3, pointed at a large black lady on the bus and loudly exclaimed "FAT ALBERT!"

My mother was horrified, but thankfully said lady had extraordinary grace and told the loud toddler that yes, she was fat, but she was not Albert.

2. What mom doesn't like trash cigarettes? "thisguysciences."

My wife had my 3 year old at the park one day. She decided to pick up some litter to make the park look nicer so she was throwing away pop bottles, chip bags etc and he wanted to help.

He stoops to pick up some cigarette butts and my wife says leave those to mommy (she wasn't going to pick them up but didn't want him to touch them either).

A few minutes later he has gone to play. He tells another mom, "I'm finding cigarettes for mommy".

My wife was so embarrassed and said she got the dirtiest looks from near by parents who heard this.

3. Dear god, "notmax."

Not me but my midwife.

Pregnant with second child, three year old daughter asks why mummy’s belly is so big. She’s told there’s a baby in there.

She turns to daddy and asks “do you have a baby in there too?” Dad replies gently “No, I’m just fat!”

A few days later in the checkout line and there’s a very large lady behind them in the line.

The little girl asks the lady “Do you have a baby in your tummy like my mummy?”

The lady is kind and just says no she doesn’t, to which the girl responds “oh just fat then?”

4. It's true, though, "LedZappa."

At the grocery store with my boys, 2 and 3. Suddenly, without any context, the 3-year-old broke his silence to scream at the cashier, "Mama's wiener is missing!"

5. Yikes, "BerryJunky."

My nephew used to say "dick" when he was trying to say "stick." So the story about the time he went in the woods with the man and they were playing with dicks was a really fun thing to spring on unsuspecting guests that didn't know what he was trying to say.

6. Like a true New Yorker, "thebroklahomen."

My friends daughter (~2.5 y/o) saw another kid in the grocery store with a toy truck, and out of nowhere says “I want that fuckin’ truck...” in an angry tone

Not the funniest thing to read, I know, but we’ve been saying that in a baby voice for the last few years and it always cracks us up.

7. A true horror story for a dad, "doktorwu."

Daughter was five (I'm dad) and she and I were in Kroger looking at greeting cards. She was proud of her reading ability, picking up cards at random and reading them. Suddenly she read, in a very clear, very loud voice, "Sex. Sex. Sex. Is that all you ever want from me?"

8. Noooooooo, "ponchojukebox."

During a private Remembrance Day (Armistice Day) ceremony with veterans, my 3-year-old soiled her diaper. I changed her in a back room and when we came out, it was the moment of silence. She slammed the door and yelled to all the vets, “I just had a BIG poo! And it had PEANUTS in it!”

9. This is adorable, "Whitt_tthe_Shitt."

My son was 2 and thought every black man was his dad. He was away for the military a while so when we were at Boston Market he called another random stranger “daddy!!” And ran to him and hugged him. Hahaha the guy actually picked him up and said “I’m not you’re dad but hey buddy!”

I was mortified but couldn’t stop laughing.

10. There are no secrets with children, "TishraDR."

I was with a group of friends and was asked if I drink. I said I don't really, and my daughter said "but mom, you drink all the time." She had no idea the difference between drinking alcohol and drinking everything else.

11. Yeah this is a great move, "cybermericorp."

My daughter is 16 months. When she is done interacting with someone she will dismissively wave her hand and say "All done! Bye!" My wife doesn't like it but I think it's funny and a total power move.

12. At least she was polite? "GaijinSama."

I was in a check out line at the supermarket and an older guy with an eye patch came up behind us in line. My daughter, in the cart, looked at him and said "merry christmas Mr. Pirate!"

13. Nice, "Daleksarecoming."

We were at Catholic mass. I was 2-3 years old. They ring the altar bell in mass at some point. They ring it, the church is dead quiet, and I screamed "Telephone!!!"

14. Please tell me this was in church, "notmax."

“THE ONLY THING THAT RHYMES WITH JESUS IS PENIS!”

15. Oh god no, "longmover."

I was in Costco and my son (who was about 5 at the time) ran up to me, grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the next aisle. “Dad! Dad! Look! Real ninjas!” Whilst pointing at two women in full Burkas

23 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Dark As F*ck.

$
0
0

Anyone with a negative attitude, depression, and social anxiety will find these memes to be hilarious. If you have a dark sense of humor this list is just what your inner demons ordered.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

Fans think Elsa has 'lesbian energy' in 'Frozen 2' trailer and the homophobes won’t let it go.

$
0
0

For the first time in forever, fans have been treated to new footage from the Frozenuniverse, and the true love is thawing even the most cynical tweeters' hearts.

Since the first Frozen was released in 2013, it inspired countless YouTube videos of kids singing "Let It Go" and a #GiveElsaAGirlfriend hashtag campaign to make the coming out anthem canon.

The teaser shows a superheroic Elsa, in pants, taking on the WHOLE DAMN OCEAN, which, as you may recall, was the force of nature that killed both her parents in a shipwreck.

Not all heroes wear gowns.

Not only does Elsa wear pants, but she also wears a blazer.

Fans are also taking the opportunity to pray that Queen Elsa will be openly gay.

Co-director Jennifer Lee hinted at possibly making the Queer Elsa dream a reality, telling The Huffington Post that she was at least open to the idea:

"I love everything people are saying [and] people are thinking about with our film ― that it's creating dialogue, that Elsa is this wonderful character that speaks to so many people.It means the world to us that we're part of these conversations," she said.

"Where we're going with it, we have tons of conversations about it, and we're really conscientious about these things."

Walt Disney Studios Disney Frozen Frozen 2 GIF
A new Blue Wave.

The trailer also features a glimpse at new characters checking out the foliage in what appears to be an autumn in New England. Did Elsa enroll at liberal arts college and meet her autumn equivalent?

frozen 2 GIF by Walt Disney Studios
Please say that they FALL in love.

Kristen Bell, the voice of Anna, replied to a Give Elsa A Girlfriend tweeter with an intriguing "Hmmmm."

If not Elsa's girlfriend...could it be Elsa's niece?

People skeptical that Disney would actually have the balls to include an LGBTQ love story. The live-action Beauty and the Beast made headlines for featuring the first ever "gay moment" in a Disney movie. The much-hyped "gay moment" turned out to be a two-second dance between LeFou and a hot French guy, but maybe Josh Gad's latest Disney movie will give us more to work with?

The excitement over the trailer, however, is enough to piss off homophobes.

Mike Pence is inevitably going to call Frozen 2 "liberal propaganda," so they might as well just go full-on gay.

27 Utterly Random Memes Everyone Should Laugh At This Morning.

$
0
0

These hysterially funny memes are proof that mornings aren't all bad. This meme list is guaranteed to crack you up, even if you're not a morning person.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

Sam Smith opens up about body trauma with shirtless Instagram. Fans are here for it.

$
0
0

It's always refreshing when celebrities get honest about the food and body image issues they've struggled with throughout the years, particularly because it helps fight stigma and shame for others going through the same process.

The singer Sam Smith has been pretty open about his past struggles with food and self-image, and he got even more vulnerable with his fans on Wednesday in an Instagram post detailing his complicated relationship with pictures of himself.

He wrote about how in anticipation of past photo shoots, shirtless or clothed, he would starve himself and criticize every single body part.

"In the past if I have ever done a photo shoot with so much as a t-shirt on, I have starved myself for weeks in advance and then picked and prodded at every picture and then normally taken the picture down."

However, for this photo shoot, Smith decided to push himself past his toxic self-talk and try to view himself from the perspective of those who love him.

"Yesterday I decided to fight the fuck back. Reclaim my body and stop trying to change this chest and these hips and these curves that my mum and dad made and love so unconditionally. Some may take this as narcissistic and showing off but if you knew how much courage it took to do this and the body trauma I have experienced as a kid you wouldn’t think those things."

He then thanked his fans, loved ones, and photographer Ryan Fluger for giving him the courage to share this part of himself, and stated that the process of learning to love yourself is not linear.

"Thank you for helping me celebrate my body AS IT IS @ryanpfluger I have never felt safer than I did with you. I’ll always be at war with this bloody mirror but this shoot and this day was a step in the right fucking direction."

Hopefully, Smith is able to continue pushing his thought patterns towards self-acceptance, it's harder than it sounds but he's got a lot of people on his side.


35 Memes For Anyone Who Doesn't Give a F*ck About Valentine's Day.

$
0
0

If you're single and just don't give a rip about Valentine's Day, you will definitely relate to these hilarious anti-Valentine's Day memes. This collection of memes will make you laugh harder than any of your loser exes. Laugh now, buy 50% off Valentine's candy tomorrow.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

29.

30.

31.

32.

33.

34.

35.

Mandy More speaks out on Instagram following allegations against ex-husband Ryan Adams.

$
0
0

On Wednesday, the New York Times dropped a story alleging 44-year-old folk musician Ryan Adams of psychological abuse against seven different women, one of whom is his ex-wife and fellow musician Mandy Moore.

In the report, Moore shared that Adams was controlling both of her career and their relationship, and that he would "wield his influence in damaging ways." She also said when they wrote songs together he would promise her studio time and then offer it to other women.

At one point, Moore remembered him saying, "You're not a real musician, because you don't play an instrument," and she shared that he acted in a "psychologically abusive manner" throughout their relationship.

"His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time — my entire mid-to-late 20s," Moore told reporters.

Sadly, Moore's account of Adams character was echoed by the six other women, and now even more women are tweeting about negative experiences with the musician. His ex-fiance Megan Butterworth said he was "controlling" and "emotionally abusive" and that he digitally stalked and harassed her.

Another woman, a 20-year-old named Ava shared that Adams had "sexual conversations" with her when she was a minor. In lieu of the news, a handful of celebrities, particularly female musicians have been expressing their support for Moore and others who came forward.

Shortly after the article made the rounds, Adams posted a tweet framed as an apology that shows no remorse. In the tweet, he apologizes for the "unintentional hurt" he caused anyone, without taking any responsibility.

After his non-apology, he then went on to discredit the article and claim it painted him falsely.

Hours after Adams posted his defensive response, Moore made an Instagram post expressing support and solidarity with all the women who have come forward, both about Adams and in general.

She wrote:

"Speaking your truth can be painful and triggering but it’s always worth it. My heart is with all women who have suffered any sort of trauma or abuse. You are seen and heard. #sisterhoodforever"

Luckily, despite his protests, Moore has been receiving a lot of support for speaking out against her ex-husband.

I cannot wait to hear what music she has in store, now that she's free of his psychological BS.

Dictionary.com destroys transphobic troll who claimed 'they' can’t be a singular pronoun.

$
0
0

Dictionary.com defines "bigot" as "a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion."

The indispensable resource provided additional information when notorious pro-Trump troll (and literal voice of Hades in Hercules) James Woods decided to use his platform to continue hating trans people.

The actor-in-a-past-life, who has been accused of predatory behavior by Amber Tamblyn when she was a teen, tried to seem real smart and cool with his take on gender pronouns.

Woods, based on what I assume is his extensive knowledge on the history and evolution of the English language, insisted that plural gender pronouns for individuals is an invention of "hare-brained liberals."

In reality, according to the literal dictionary, "they" has been used to address individuals for centuries, and by some of the best writers who have ever written.

colin firth tea GIF
Woods is both proud AND prejudiced.

Woods isn't the first bigot to get burned by the dictionary.

Dictionary.com used its knowledge of the English language to introduce the perfect nickname for Mike Pence.

They also roasted Trump's misspelling of "collusion," a word he should know by now.

Dictionary.com never misses the opportunity to teach the president a word or two.

Dearest Dictionary:

pride and prejudice love GIF

17 of the best adult jokes in kids movies. Disney is dirty.

$
0
0

Nothing beats watching one of your favorite movies from childhood as an adult and seeing it in a whole new light.

While children of course enjoy all the classics, it's extra fun when something is thrown in just for the adults. After all, the parents are paying for it. They're the ones dragging everyone to a movie theater or trying to find out how to download it Christmas morning--it only makes sense there should be something in it for them. While some people like to go overboard trying to find hidden subliminal sexual messages in kids movies, it's nicer to think the writers were just having a solid laugh with wordplay every now and then.

Recently, a Reddit thread challenged the internet by asking, "What's the best adult joke in a kid's movie?" and people delivered. Prepare for a nostalgia overload, it's time to turn on "Mulan."

1. Classic Disney, "kkeh0831."

In Toy Story, Bo Peep seductively tells Woody that she'll have someone else watch her sheep that night. In the same movie

"The term you're looking for is 'Space Ranger'."

"No, the word I'm looking for I can't say because there are preschool toys present!"

2. We all know what that is, "baohavan."

The scene in Shrek 2 when Puss In Boots is caught with "catnip"

3. Might be a stretch, but I support it "pattysmife."

Dude what about the scene where Farquad literally sets up to jerk it to the magic mirror?

4. Oh my god, yes, "Gottapost2c."

Old one: Hocus Pocus. We desire children. Bus driver "may take me a couple of tries but I don't think its going to be a problem."

5. Mulan is the best, "RedWestern."

In Mulan, Mushu sees a whole bunch of men hurrying down to the lake where Mulan is skinny dipping, and panics “There’s a couple things I know they’re bound to notice!”

That whole scene was one big adult joke.

6. Definitely, "rosee01."

In Big, with Tom Hanks, when he gets propositioned by the woman he's seeing to "sleep over."

"OK, but I get to be on top!"

Saw this movie in its first run when I was a kid, and it was funny because, you know, bunk beds. Saw the movie a good 10 or 15 years later and...ohhhhh....

7. For sure, "LotusPrince."

Ratatouille, where Alfredo's trying to explain to Colette that he has a rat doing his cooking for him.

"I have a small...uh..." and he puts his thumb and forefinger together.

Collette briefly glances down, then back up at him, and looks confused and slightly disgusted.

8. We must support thespians, "Apidooom."

In Rango:

Ezekiel: [while reading a book] I think they's thespians!

Balthazar: Thespians? That's illegal in seven states!

9. This one is A+, "gestrada3000."

I'm fond of the bestiality joke in Frozen. "That thing with the reindeer/That's a little outside of nature's laws"

10. Everyone loves a rhyme, "trickfinger7."

In the Rugrats Movie, when the parents are discussing the sex of the new baby (who ends up being Dill) Angelica’s mom says “Well, yanno what they say: born under Venus, look for a...” before she gets interrupted

11. Give it up for accidents, "to_the_tenth_power."

In one of the Powerpuff Girls episodes, the girls make friends with another girl their age and when they introduce her to Professor Utonium they explain he created them by accident.

The girl says, "Don't worry professor, I was made by accident too."

12. How scandalous, "PUGDOGRO1."

The Hey Arnold movie where Helga says about Arnold, "You make my girlhood tremble"

13. All hail, LEGO movie, "MrJosephWorldwide."

In the LEGO Batman movie where Robin says to Batman

“My name is Richard but my friends call me Dick.”

And he responds

“Kids can be cruel”

14. Ok, but everyone loves "Breaking Bad," "pvc468."

In "Zootopia," they reference Breaking Bad, by saying, "Hurry, before Walt and Jesse get back." while they are wearing yellow jumpsuits and harvesting the toxic blue flowers.

15. This is a debate, "lularoeisacam9."

In frozen where Anna is on the sleigh ride with Kristoff and they were talking about foot size. Anna says “size doesn’t matter”

16. Dirty Donkey, "Mephestrial."

I was watching Shrek the other day, and Donkey was sleep talking. He said "oh you like that baby? Hop up in my saddle, I'll give you a ride".

My partner and I just about died laughing.

17. It was a less accepting time, "wffrdrg."

Princess diaries the chauffeur Joe was like San Franciscos A weird place, when I bought the panty hose they asked if I wanted them bagged or to wear them out

8 Valentine's Day gifts that we should all cancel. RIP, heart necklaces.

$
0
0

Valentine's day is honestly the worst.

If you're single, it's just a reminder that you're alone, eating Hersey kisses and drinking wine in yoga pants you've never done yoga in. If you're in a relationship, it's a forced day to express love in the form of material items which feels dirty and insincere. The restaurants are slammed, florists are stressed, it's usually on a weekday--everything is bad.

While I'm not trying to knock anyone for going out of their way to make someone feel loved, there are a few Valentine's Day clichés we should probably just let die.

1. Heart necklaces.

Unless you're in middle school and dating someone you have a purely texting relationship with, you don't need a heart necklace. Valentine's Day-themed garbage is so covered in hearts, getting a heart necklace would be like getting your wife a necklace for Christmas that just said, "Merry Christmas!" It's weird, it's boring, they're honestly never pretty and every woman you know has at least five buried somewhere in a box.

2. Infinity jewelry, or "forever"-themed bling.

If you're just dating someone, getting them anything "forever"-themed that isn't an engagement ring is a bit much. Infinity symbols are cool in theory, but on jewelry they just look like you're really into the number 8. Every kiss does not being with Kay, it begins with Tinder and tequila.

3. The overpriced heart-shaped box of mystery candy.

Forrest Gump might've said these boxes are fun because "you never know what you're going to get," but biting into some chocolatier's strawberry jelly experiment isn't ideal. Yes, they are pretty fun sometimes, but just get them the second they're discounted and enjoy them then.

4. Flowers.

Ok, I know this is controversial and everyone does love flowers. However, sending flowers to your significant other's place of work, or bringing flowers to a dinner or show you both have to spend a lot of time at--not great. Basically, you're giving someone three chores 1) holding these flowers all night, 2) finding something at home to put these flowers in (mason jars?) 3) deciding when these flowers are dead and throwing them out. Flowers, while beautiful, are just plants on their deathbed. They're gorgeous garbage and we can all do better.

5. Stuffed animals.

Unless you're both under the age of 13, getting an adult a teddy bear is...let's just not. Are you supposed to keep it in your adult apartment in your adult bed? Do you put it on a shelf and explain to your adult friends that your adult significant other purchased a toy that says "ages 3+" on it? Yes, they're cute, but they're for children, not for a person who pays taxes and has health insurance.

6. Balloons.

With Bill Clinton being the rare exception, balloons are only fun if you're five years old and living in the Mary Poppins universe. In line with the flowers theory, balloons are just something you have to carry around AND worry about flying off into the sky and creating sky-litter.

7. Lingerie.

Unless your significant other gave you specific styles and sizes, going rogue in a Victoria's Secret isn't a great move. Most of the time you'll end up either over-shooting on size and watching your partner cry about how big you thought their ass was, or underestimating size and watching your partner cry about how their ass can't fit in this lingerie. To clarify, this is if you're purchasing lingerie for someone else to wear, not buying lingerie for yourself so that someone else can (view?) it. While I personally don't understand the appeal of fancy garters and lace that will be taken off almost immediately, it's a very successful industry so who knows.

8. Naming a star after someone.

This is totally cute, but also--what does anyone does with this? Can you actually find your star, and even if you do, then what? This seems like a scam that a hopeless rom-com character invented and now they're making bank.

If you were nervous about what to get your significant other and then you read this list and are thinking, well what SHOULD I do? May I suggest money, a vacation, a thoughtful letter, bath bombs, a home-cooked dinner, a pizza, a vibrator...Look, I don't know what your partner likes. The point is, Valentine's Day made people lazy about showing their romantic partners they care and we need to banish heart necklaces forever.

23 Filthy Sex Memes Anyone With A Dirty Mind Needs To See.

$
0
0

This totally NSFW meme list will make anyone with a dirty mind laugh out loud. If you have a filthy mind and a wicked sense of humor, these memes will take you straight to horny town.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

Guy's brutally honest breakup text goes viral as a reminder that 'ghosting' people isn't cool.

$
0
0

All too often, people leave a date with no idea how the other person feels about them. If you're not into the other person, it can be stressful trying to gauge how they feel about the situation, whether to go forward with chilling through another date and whether it'll come across presumptuous to let them down. If they're not into you either, will they make you feel stupid for laying out the reasons you don't want to go out again? Or is it leading someone on to stay mum about the lack of connection?

While there's no easy way to navigate letting a date down, avoiding these awkward conversations oftentimes results in the awful trend of ghosting, which leaves one person completely in the emotional lurch.

Since ghosting is so common, and its rare to see healthy emotional rejection modeled online, the Reddit user karmabandido's breakup text with his date quickly went viral for its honesty.

This is the ideal example of how to let someone down easy, he was polite and respectful, didn't ghost her - but also didn't mince words about the lack of connection. In return, she was able to reveal that she felt the same way and they were able to avoid further awkward interactions without ghosting or negging each other.


14 'how we met' stories that'll make even your single ass believe in love this Valentine's Day.

$
0
0

It's Valentine's Day, a day when people in relationships finally get to talk about the fact that they're in relationships!

No doubt that your social media feeds are clogged with couples being couple-y, declare their love for one another online as if they're not planning on meeting up tonight.

While most real-life love stories are boring (it's always some variation of "we met online or at a friend's cousin's dogwalker's Halloween party"), the How We Met Project features non-fictional love stories that are actually worth reading.

They're better than a rom-com, because they're real!

1. They are the champions, my friends.

2. Meeting on Tinder might not be the most romantic thing, but this proposal definitely is.

View this post on Instagram

“Chris and I like most of today's society actually met online! Both of us had been in relationships that unfortunately didn't end in good regards. Both of us were very unsure if we would ever meet someone in our community that had a genuine heart and was actually looking for something more than just physical relationships. We of all places met on Tinder and somehow managed to swipe right not only once, but TWICE! After the second occurrence I decided to see what fate was trying to put in front of me. I messaged him and he messaged back. We were both skeptical and reserved from our past, but we actually had more in common than we ever thought. I was traveling a lot for work and unable to be home at the time, but he was patient. So patient that we actually did not meet face to face for a month! But in that time we really got to know each other. For hours we would Facetime, text all day and we got to know each other to our fullest. The day we met for our first date, I knew he was the one. It was that moment that people talk about when you see someone for the first time, and it's like you have known them your whole life. It was honestly one of those moments of love at first sight. From there it was history! We moved in together after three months, and after a year and a half I finally had the nerve to propose. It was at Olympic Park in Park City, Utah right after bobsledding down the olympic track. You can say that my anxiety was at it's peak! Luckily he said yes. Then our parents had a surprise for us - that they wanted to have our wedding in summer, at a chateau in Bordeaux, France. It was a literal fairytale wedding and we could not have asked for more. 50 guests consisting of family and friends attended the wedding and it was one of the most magical moments of our lives. The 3 years we have been together has been a complete whirlwind, but we can't wait to see what our futures have in store for us. Who knew all this would happen just from a swipe right.” #howwemetstory #love #hope #inspirational #soulmates #truelove #lovestory #howwemet #mylove #goals #couplegoals #cutecouple #couplesofinstagram #couples #reallove #weddings #photooftheday

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

3. Czech-ing each other out.

4. This is my favorite Nancy Meyers movie.

View this post on Instagram

"I had just about given up on looking for my Mr. Right. I was living in a 2 bedroom duplex and needed to find a roommate for the second room so my realtors brother wrote an ad for me to try and find someone. For the price, either multiple people wanted to move in or they were male. Skeptical, I decided to look at the first male response I got. It seemed normal and super professional so I said he could come for an interview. The day he came, I was wearing pajamas and was sort of a mess and saw him walk by the front window and immediately regretted not dressing up more. He was gorgeous. I tried to put those initial thoughts aside and then spent 2 hours asking him every question I could think of. He passed them all with flying colors and I told him he could of course move in to the room. The week before he moved in he said he wanted to meet my parents before moving in because he just felt it was appropriate since I was a female and he was a male moving into my house. So when my mom and I went out to dinner that week she said to invite him. He apologized saying he was extremely busy at work and couldn’t make it. My mom and I had a lavish dinner at this nice restaurant, and even got food to-go for my dad. And when the waitress came over at the end of the meal she told us that a man named Nicholas Mason had already paid the bill!! I was DONE. He moved in and we stayed up until 4am every night having the best conversations and after a month we finally had a conversation about how we both had feelings for each other. Every single family member supported it and loved us being together. He moved in in November, we started officially dating in December..and I was pregnant in January! But the craziest part-I had been told that I couldn't get pregnant or that it would at least be very difficult because of issues I have. And it was always my dream to be a mom. So finding out was a huge shock on every level, but the best surprise we could all ask for. He proposed when we were 6 months pregnant and we married a year later. And now have two beautiful children. The whole thing was so meant to be and he is perfect for me! God, quite literally, dropped him on my doorstep."

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

5. Michael and Holly's proposal > Jim and Pam's proposal

View this post on Instagram

"Allysa and I met on January 29, 2015 at, of all places, one of our mutual friends father’s funeral. We shared this mutual friend, but hadn’t met until then because Allysa had joined the Army and been stationed overseas. After meeting that night, our group of friend all hung out two nights later and that’s when it all began. Allysa and I laughed and danced the night away. You would have thought it was our world and everyone else was living in it. Allysa began FaceTiming me on her way to work the next Monday and there hasn’t been a day since that we haven’t talked. We lived 4 hours apart, but there wasn’t a weekend that passed that we didn’t see each other. After 6 months of dating, I moved to GA and Allysa and I moved in together. Allysa left the Army to go back to school to get her degree and transition from enlisted to an officer. On October 1, 2016, Allysa proposed to me in front of our friends and family. She replicated the scene from “The Office” where Michael proposes to Holly because she knows that’s my favorite scene. Everyone was holding candles and stood in two lines as we walked through until she got down on one knee and asked me to marry her. We planned our wedding and on April 8, 2017, we were married. Allysa commissioned and graduated in May 2017 and we were sent to Fort Sill, OK for 6 months to attend the Basic Officer Leader Course. Our first duty station we were assigned was Fort Carson, CO, which we moved to this past February. We are currently in the process of trying to have a baby and awaiting to see where our next adventure takes us."

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

6. Who knew double decker bus tours could lead to love?

7. Poetry always seals the deal.

View this post on Instagram

"In 11th grade I didn’t know what to think of Kareem. He was the new kid from Texas, extremely taller than everyone at the school, and had sincere charisma that just seemed different than what I’d known. Kareem had the persistence like no one I’d met before – it was almost unreal. I was taken aback by his interest in me being that he’d barely known me and that we had only spoken ONCE when I read the board for him. He would wait outside my class (one time handing me his phone and walking away before I could hand it back). I went the whole school year without giving him my number. The school year ended and our families were both moving, mine to a different part of Maryland and his back to Houston. You’d think we’d never see each other again. I never knew that I’d be marrying the man who as a 16yr old boy left the state and still tried everything he could to keep in touch. He wrote me a beautiful poem. That gesture alone made me realize that Kareem was different and I finally gave him my number. We remained friends throughout 12th grade (even while long distant) and started dating towards the end of freshman year of college when Kareem returned to Maryland. Kareem became my best friend – his love overflowed, his perspective on life opened my eyes, his strong opinions on relationships intrigued me, and his love for both our families was impressive. From college till now we’ve loved hard, laughed hard, prayed hard, and even cried hard – but through our best days and worst struggles we’ve always been there for each other and somehow always come back stronger. 10yrs later we are married!"

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

8. The inter-continental courting is genuinely inspiring.

View this post on Instagram

"Roman was born and raised in Oklahoma. After graduating from Princeton, he moved to Japan to pursue a career in finance and play professional football. I am Filipino but I was raised in Tokyo, Japan. At age 16, I moved to the United States to study engineering at Princeton, and went on to pursue an MBA/MA in Global Affairs from Yale. Though Princeton class of 2014 is a commonality for us, it wasn't at school when our paths crossed. 4 years at the same university with hundreds of mutual friends and many overlapping communities was not enough to bring us together, it just wasn't the right timing. It wasn't until January of 2016, when Roman was living in Tokyo and I was visiting my parents while on Christmas break from Yale, that we connected with each other through a mutual friend from school. I only had 6 days left to spend with my parents before flying back to the US, but I decided to take up Roman's offer of meeting over dinner. One dinner led to two, which led to three, which led to the week ending with Roman attending church with me and my parents. I went back to school and life presumed but we continued to talk every day. Two weeks later, Roman was on a plane to spend Valentines day in Connecticut to visit me. When he came back from New Haven, that was when the "ligaw" process began. Ligaw is the traditional Filipino process of courting, where the suitor earns the trust of the girls family and friends. While I was in the US, Roman spent weekends with my family getting to know my parents and learning about the culture. As we grew closer, we knew we wanted to live in the same country. By the grace of God, Roman was able to land the first job in NYC that he interviewed for and moved to the Big Apple. We got married back at Princeton University Chapel, where we never met, in June 2018. We packed our lives into 4 suitcases and now live in Manila, Philippines, ready for a life of adventure and exploration together."

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

9. The only good thing that has ever happened on Snapchat.

10. Things got hot after the Cold War.

View this post on Instagram

"A few months after the fall of the wall in Germany my profession did not exist anymore. I was an educator for little children between 3 months to 3 years old. For a while, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I began working in local markets in different cities. I had to travel to different markets that were 60 kilometers far away from my hometown. This is where I met Maik. He was a seller too. This happened in 1992. I was 19 and Maik was 23 years old. Before this time I didn't know how my dream man should be. But when I saw him, I knew it. From this moment, we met every Tuesday in this market. We talked about everything, drank coffee and we had a good time. Meeting in the weekly market is like getting together with your big family. Only a couple of weeks later my mom and I went for some weeks to Australia to visit our auntie and extended family. Maik told me that I should write him a postcard and tell him my address so we we could stay in touch. This was 1992 and Whatsapp and Email didn't exist yet. I wrote him, but I did not tell him my address. I did not want to be disappointed if he did not answer me. When I was back just before Christmas the phone rang. It was Maik. I was so excited and happy that I couldn't say many words. He got my phone number from my colleague on the market. Maik invited me to New Years Eve and I said yes, of course. He picked me up by car and we spent a fun New Years Eve with all his friends in a club. Since this evening we were a couple. 8 weeks later I moved out of my parents home and I moved in with him. Nearly 26 years later we are still happy. We have ups and down, of course but without serious doubts. We got married in 1996 and in 1997 we became parents of a wonderful and smart boy. We are really thankful. I wish it will always stay this way."

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

11. He must be a real catch to be worth meeting at 5 AM.

View this post on Instagram

"CJ and I have “known” each other for over 10 years. We first met when he was in high school and I was in middle school. We didn’t really know each other, but we knew "of" each other and stayed connected on social media over the years. A few years back, we were messaging back and forth but it never went anywhere, until December of 2017. He was home for a little break, since he plays basketball he’s traveling 90% of the time. At 5am I randomly asked if we could go to IHOP, and he actually agreed that early. We had the best breakfast date ever. He then invited me to just hang for the day, so we watched tv and talked all day long. At 5pm I had to leave and meet with my family and I felt like a part of me was missing already. We texted the whole time so excited to get back with one another. From that day we actually never left each other again. We went to Canada for a few months since he was playing there and we secretly eloped. We got married on February 7th and just now announced it to our families. We went to the Philippines after Canada, and then moved to Las Vegas for the summer! Since the day we met, we fell hard, fast, and are madly in love and I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s so crazy my soulmate lived in my same town, went to my school district, we have TONS of mutual friends, yet we were so far from each other. I am thankful for social media for connecting us, and thanks to iHop for the great first date that forever cemented our love."

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

12. A simple sentence is all you need.

View this post on Instagram

"In August 2015, I was was visiting Sour, Lebanon, my parent’s home town. My days were spent with cousins and friends who always had an idea for something fun to do. One day, we were out enjoying patio season when I got a call from my mom telling me to come join her at a Shisha lounge. It turned out that by chance I was on the same street as my mom just a few restaurants apart, and so it was easy to meet up. When I reached the lounge where my mom was, she was asking the guests at the table next to hers for advice because her shisha kept burning out. The conversation grew and my mom introduced me when I arrived. Of course, my now husband and his brother were the two people my mom was speaking with. There was an immediate and intense understanding between us, like a connection that can’t be explained. A little while later, I went back to my friends on the patio but found myself completely distracted. I spent the evening searching for his Facebook profile and realized that he fit my mental checklist of the perfect guy. We had met so briefly though, and so I figured that it was a beautiful afternoon and that was all. He however, had other plans. The next day he messaged me with a beautifully simple sentence: “You are so pretty and nice” and we have been together since. 1 month married today." #howwemetstory #love #hope #inspirational #soulmates #truelove #lovestory #howwemet #mylove #goals #couplegoals #cutecouple #couplesofinstagram #couples #reallove #weddings #photooftheday #happinessishere #myhusband #truestories #picoftheday #marriedlife #thewaywemet #engagement #marriage #couplesgoals #istilldo #familylove #couplelife #familylife

A post shared by howwemetstory@gmail.com (@howwemetstory) on

13. He *literally* fell in love.

14. "From prom dress to wedding dress."

Pardon me as I bawl.

The White House declared a national emergency via Notes App. Welcome to Hell.

$
0
0

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

The good news is that there won't be a government shutdown, as the government has done the bare minimum and agreed on a budget to continue operating!

The bad news is that because Congress' spending bill does not appropriate funds for his beloved Game of Thrones tribute wall on the Southern border, Trump is set to declare martial law and just do it anyway!

That sounds like hyperbole, but no, it's just a description of what's going on.

As a testament to just how much thought they put into declaring an emergency over Sicario 2 fanfiction, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders released the White House's official statement as a screenshot from the Notes App, an iPhone feature most commonly used when a celebrity has to apologize for being racist.

Not only did Huckabae not release the news on official White House letterhead, the announcement has a random black dot on it.

You know who would not be happy to see the president circumventing the democratically elected legislature to impose his will upon the country? Donald Trump (in 2014).

Before examining the legality of the president declaring a national emergency he can't pass a law democratically and his fanboys love chanting so much, let's take a second to laugh at the absolute insanity of this whole thing being kicked off on the NOTES APP.

Who knew authoritarianism was so #basic?

25 Utterly Random Memes Everyone Should Laugh At This Morning.

$
0
0

You don't have to be a morning person to enjoy this randomly hilarious list of memes. Start your day off with a laugh, you will be glad you did.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

Tomi Lahren made fun of 'angry feminists' on Valentines Day and got festively dragged.

$
0
0

Yesterday was Valentines Day, but the gift of love is something that gives everyday. As you well know, love takes many forms, it presents itself in romantic relationships, family, friendships and passions, and one of the internet's greatest love affairs is dragging Tomi Lahren after she tweets something cruel or incomprehensible.

This year for Valentines Day, Lermen gave the internet what we all didn't realize we wanted, a snarky tweet implying feminists neither find love or get laid.

Undoubtedly, Tommy Laymen must have felt a rush of adrenaline when she hit send on this juicy hunk of cliche digital garbage.

Needless to say, Lomein's thinly veiled desire for attention was quickly met with a festive Valentine's Day dragging.

But also, several women responded with genuine details of the romantic gifts their partners got them. Many even ask Tommy about her plans, which seem fairly non-existent based on the tone of her tweet.

In fact, if anything, the "angry feminists" she targeted were far more gracious with Tommy on Valentines Day than merited. It seems pretty clear who the angry lonely one in this equation is.

Woman pokes holes in anti-vaxxers' theory by using their own argument. Got 'em.

$
0
0

Anti-vaxxers come up with such absurd theories that sometimes it feels like the best argument against them is, "Did you fucking hear what you just said though???" Sadly, that exact question doesn't seem to get to them, but using a tactic that forces them to take a hard look at the insanity webs they are weaving just might. How does one do this? I'm so glad you asked...

A woman on the internet (hero) took the anti-vaxxer theory that vaccination should be avoided because some kids who have been vaccinated also have Autism and compared it to the idea that feeding your children should be avoided because some children who have eaten food have also choked. As a wise young wizard once said: that's bloody brilliant.

The full post was uploaded by sunsetbliss on Imgur:

There's a lot to unpack here, but I would like to start by giving praise to the part where she listed "garlic breath" as one of the dangers that food poses. Genius. As a whole, this perfectly points out the flaws in anti-vaxxers' argument. Pretty much everything in this world can involve complications, but that doesn't mean you should lock yourself in a vault and never go outside. Although, I'm sure some anti-vaxxers have considered doing exactly that.

A lot of people in the comments were here for this women's argument and rallied behind her with praise.

DiarmuidRyan said:

Fun fact. Everybody who has died has eaten food. Coincidence?...I don't think so. Food is poison!!! wake up sheeple!!

Seraphiel123 pointed out:

That's actually a more reasonable stance than anti-vaxxers because there is an actual risk from choking from eating but there is no risk of autism from vaccines at all.

shade1701 joked:

Same mom to child "You can't sit outside!!! Outside is where the Civil War happened!!!

This argument *should* be able to show anti-vaxxers how wrong they are, but I have the feeling they won't be able to see the flawless logic here...

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images