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This new photo of Melania Trump has reignited the body double conspiracy theory.

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If you have yet to tumble down the rabbithole of the Melania Trump body double conspiracy theory, then let me tell you, it's a beautiful chunk of the internet to experience.

Regardless of whether or not the theory holds water (my soul is firmly convinced that it does), it's deeply entertaining to examine the photos that keep this theory going. Over the weekend, internet detectives beheld a new image that suggests maybe, just maybe, Melania has a stunt double for PR purposes.

Over the weekend, Donald Trump and Melania visited Alabama to pay respects to the twenty three people who died in a deadly tornado. While there, they had a photo taken in front of the memorial.

The photo quickly went viral due to how "off" Melania looks, and many feel it is further proof that she has a body double.

People have really done their homework on this body double theory, so we can each truly study it and make up our own minds.

Mostly though, people saw the photo as another fresh opportunity to make jokes about the theory. After all, who doesn't love a good conspiracy theory now and again?! If you look at history and all the shenanigans that have gone down, a lot of conspiracy theories don't feel out of left field. This goes double under the Trump administration.

If there IS a body double, or multiple, the people of American are beyond ready to hear their testimonies.

If they exist, I am beyond ready for Melania's body doubles to step forward and spill the insider information. I have a feeling Mueller would be more than down to interview them as well.


5 people having a worse Monday than you.

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5. Chris Evans, because people are pissed that he posed with a white supremacist, even if that white supremacist has a cool eye.

Get this man a shield.

Chris Evans, aka Steve Rogers aka Captain America, is consistently hailed as a "woke bae" for his anti-Trump tweet, but recently had a slip up when he smiled with a controversial Republican congressman who loves his character.

Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-Texas) is famous for having been made fun of by sex symbol Pete Davidson, but is also known in other circles as the moderator of a Facebook group that promoted the deadly right-wing Charlottesville rally and was a home for Pizzagate conspiracy theorists and racist fun.

Evans yukked it up with Crenshaw, who showed off his glass eye sporting Captain America's logo.

Many of Cap's fans were not impressed.

Image result for nazis captain america gif

Maybe Crenshaw should refresh himself on Captain America's antifa history.

It doesn't get anymore "antifa" than this.


4. Tucker Carlson, because he was caught being as disgusting in the past as he is in the present.

Carlson's Past Comes Back To Haunt Him.

Tucker Carlson, a hate-mongering TV host who looks like an evil Snoopy balloon, makes his living telling your racist uncle and grandparents to be afraid of anyone who isn't Donald Trump.

According audio uncovered by Media Matters, before Carlson was mainstreaming conspiracy theories like "childcare is a globalist conspiracy theory endangering white people," he was sharing his thoughts on underage girls and sex with "Bubba the Love Sponge."

Like Trump himself, Carlson called into shock jock radio shows to share his views on "young girls sexually experimenting" and the right of adults to marry 15-year-olds.

Among his hot takes, Carlson defended Warren Jeffs, a convicted pedophile who married underaged girls off to adult men. He also has a lot of thoughts on the "sex lives" of 13-year-olds, saying that a teacher who molests 13-year-old boys is, in fact, doing a favor for 13-year-old girls:

CARLSON: Because when a 13-year-old boy is 35 he can barely remember the girls he slept with when he was 13.

THE LOVE SPONGE: That’s true.

CARLSON: Right? But a 13-year-old girl, when she’s 35, she’s still thinking about that guy. I mean, it’s just a much deeper experience for girls at that age and they’re not ready for that.

THE LOVE SPONGE: Girls are far more screwed up then we are. We can just have sex and screw and be done with it. They really, like, they keep a part of them.

CARLSON: Exactly. So my point is that teacher’s like this, not necessarily this one in particular, but they are doing a service to all 13-year-old girls by taking the pressure off. They are a pressure relief valve, like the kind you have on your furnace.

Rather than apologize, Carlson invited anybody who doesn't appreciate his thoughts on children to come debate him on TV for ratings.

If you're a woman who dares to challenge him, prepare to be called ugly and the C-word.


3. Jussie Smollett, because he's facing up to 64 years in prison.

His crimes were actually real.

An Illinois grand jury indicted fake hate crime actor (who has also appeared on Empire), Jussie Smollett, adding to the frenzy around the hate crime that wasn't.

The grand jury charged Smollett for disorderly conduct and filing a false police report, in two separate sets of charges for each time he spoke to the police.

Each felony carries a maximum of four years in prison, so yeah, Smollett is looking at up to 64 years (!!!).

That's a lot of years, especially considering the fact that Trump's campaign manager Paul Manafort was sentenced to only three years for literally conspiracy against the United States.


2. Senator Marco Rubio, because he confused a journalist named Germán Dam for an actual dam.

Putting the "rube" in "Rubio."

The Trump administration seems super thirsty for war in Venezuela, and in beating that drum, its allies makes some really embarrassing mistakes.

Senator Marco Rubio (R-Florida) did a hilariously dumb tweet, blaming a Venezuelan power outage over a "transformer explosion at the German Dam."

Well, um, the problem is, there's no such thing as "the German Dam," just a journalist named Germán Dam who covered the story.

The story was debunked by the real German Dam himself.

Now, today on Twitter, Rubio is insisting that he does indeed know the difference between a dam-dam and a person-named-Dam.

Sure, Dam.


1. The sexist trolls who tried to tank Captain Marvel, because they were Photon-blasted into space.

Related image
You better Kree-lieve it.

An army of trolls whose fragile masculinity was so threatened by a Marvel movie with a female protagonist (and a female lead who cares about the issues) tried desperately to make Captain Marvel flopped.

First, they flooded Rotten Tomatoes with negative reviews before anyone had even seen the movie, leading to the review aggregator finally changing its policy. Then, they tried to mobilize a boycott, but while the trolls were trolling from their mothers' basements, everyone else was at the movie theater.

Captain Marvel made $153 million domesticly and $455 million worldwide, proving that superheroes are above the wage gap.

captain marvel captainmarveltvspot2 GIF
It's going to be a *blast* to watch trolls freak out when Carol saves the day in "Avengers: Endgame."

Woman posts awful 'tips' a guy sent her after a bad Tinder date. Love is dead.

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If you've been single for any extended amount of time, then it's statistically likely you've been on a few bad dates. In most cases, a bad date is quickly over with and you never have to deal with that person again. But in particularly harrowing examples, a bad date doesn't know how to take a hint, and they continue to torture you through extended communication.

In what can only be described as the least desired scenario, 24-year-old Kimberley Latham-Hawkesford went on a bad date with a man months ago, and just now received an unsolicited laundry list of things he didn't like about her.

The horrific series of messages were presented to Hawkesford as a list of "tips" detailing how she could self-improve.

In fact, he even said he'd check in with her a month after sending the message to see if she had implemented them. If she did follow his list, he would then "consider" going on a second date.

Imagine being so far up your own ass you'd send this to a girl 3 months after a date 🤦

Posted by Kimberley Latham-Hawkesford on Tuesday, February 26, 2019

This complete list is not only unasked for and deeply entitled and misogynistic, but it is full of contradictions. In one tip he instructs her to wear less makeup and go for a "more natural look," then he goes on to suggest she get lip fillers.

He spends an entire message berating her looks and personality, then tells her to be more confident because "confidence is sexy."

But truly, the most baffling part of his messy and disgusting message is the fact that he caps off paragraphs of insults with an opportunity to go on another date with him.

"If you take me on board I might consider another date. I will give you a month and get back in touch to see if this made a difference," is a string of sentences that should never be written AND sent to another human being.

Needless to say, there will be no second date.

27 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You Have Kids.

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These hilarious parenting memes perfectly nail the insanity of raising kids today. If your kids have you feeling overworked, exhausted, and stressed out, you'll totally relate to this hysterical list of memes.

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Those were the days 🐫

A post shared by Mommy Memest (@mommymemest) on

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18 people share embarrassing adult moments on par with calling your teacher 'mom.'

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We all have those moments when we want to shove our feet into our mouths and dive into a well for all of eternity.

Whether it's a trip and fall at an important event, calling someone important the wrong name, or forgetting crucial personal information about someone close to you, we've all wanted to shrink and escape forever in a moment of hardcore embarrassment.

In Elementary school, one of the most embarrassing things you could do was accidentally call your teacher "mom." So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "What is an adult life equivalent of calling your teacher "mom?" the internet was fully prepared to share their cringe-worthy nightmares. Prepare for secondhand embarrassment, some of these are pretty rough.

1. Oh my god, "leeklais."

This happened to a coworker years and years ago. We were tellers at a local bank. Every Christmas we had tiny candy canes to give to the kids of customers. One guy came through with his. With his transactions he had cash back. Teller 1 was helping him. She proceeds to give him his cash in a 100 bill and the candy cane for his kid. He looks at her and says, “Can I have that broken up?” She then proceeds to bash the candy cane to a pulp with my stapler and gives it back to him. Teller 2 just looked at her after the dude said thanks and drove off, and said, “I think he meant the 100 bill.” I will remember this story forever.

2. Aw, "hollymir."

When talking with family we always end our calls with “I love you.”

So I’m on a call with my long time assistant and as the call ends without thinking I say “I lo...” and stop horrified as I couldn’t think of how to finish it. Thank God she had a sense of humor. She said, “ Aww, come on now, you can say it, go ahead, tell me you love me. “ So I did and we laughed about for years.

3. Ergh, "lapeachy."

I’ve worked in restaurants since I was 16. When I bring someone to a table I say “enjoy.” After any drink or plate of food I put down at a table I do the same. Well I guess it was just inevitable that when a man asked me where the washroom was and I directed him that I told him to “enjoy!”

4. Yikes, "TurnAroundUrMyATeam."

I once saw a flustered young lawyer address a judge as “Oh Lord.” He was a big church person and had kind of fallen into a prayer cadence as he nervously argued. Everyone pretended it had not happened.

5. This is amazing, "starcookie."

I once went to court to dispute a traffic ticket. When prepping my case, I went over my statement with my wife. Luckily I did, because I had "Your Majesty" written down instead of "Your Honor" at the very beginning.

6. Oh no, "Charleroy26."

Calling your wife “Mom” is pretty bad. I did that once almost 20 years ago and the cringe hasn’t lessened over time.

7. Luckily he made it out alive, "nathanweisser."

Well I've accidentally rubbed the back of some random chick at Walmart thinking she was my wife before

8. This is awkward, "sofia6664."

My friend was on a toilet, someone knocked and she said: , Come in!'

9. Oh damn, "ally12321."

At Dollar Tree the other day my boyfriend walked up to the cashier and she said almost immediately “How was your meal?” and then “Oh! wrong job!”

10. This could definitely get weird, "dbrianmorgan."

Mixing up text messages between your wife and boss.

11. Oh no, "chel8."

Going on autopilot and coming terrifyingly close to giving my short female employees noogies like I do my daughters.

12. Ha, "mssDMA."

I’m a teacher. I unthinkingly scolded my dog the other day with, “Follow the directions!” We kinda just stared at each other for a second while I realized how ridiculous I sounded.

13. Truth, "nice_strada."

Walking up to the wrong car and freaking out when you can't unlock it

14. Ergh, "ilovejackiebot."

On the way back from a client meeting with one of the partners, he wasn't paying attention when the light turned green and I said "Hey, babe, you gotta go." And then I died.

15. Classic, "Kutzelberg."

Once I was in the airport and I went to get a sandwich. I stood at the counter to tell the worker to give me a turkey sandwich, which he prepared. He handed it to me and his co-worker noticed he didn't microwave it, so he extended his hand to me over those glass container thingies,which have food displayed in them, so he can take it to microwave it. I didn't understand why he was extending his hand so I smiled and shook it. He laughed and pointed at my food and told me he has to heat it. I felt dumb as hell.

16. Aw, Daddy. "CandaceIsHungry."

I called my housekeeper Daddy instead of Darcy.

It was an autocorrect mistake in a text but I didn’t notice for 24 hours when I realized she never texted me back. I was absolutely mortified but she thought it was hilarious. When she texted me two weeks later her opening line was “who’s your daddy?! 🤪” - I actually lost my mind in a meeting reading that. She’s the sweetest older lady and now my nickname for her is Daddy.

17. Yeesh, "faxEi."

One of my soldiers called me dad in boot camp, it was pretty hard not to laugh.

18. Oh man, "Back2Bach."

When the priest says, "May the Lord light up your life!"

And you reply, "And up yours!"

21 dumb things people believed as kids. Thunder is God bowling.

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Kids believed the darndest things. Whether it's to preserve the innocence of youth or to shut them up while they're asking question, sometimes parents can't help but lie to their kids, but the lies are whimsical, so it's cool. A viral thread kicked off by Daniel Marven had former children sharing the wildest things that they used to believe.

Here are the funniest ones, all of which would make great Pixar moves.

1. Let it grow.

2. BOOM.

3. Dream big.

4. They......don't?

5. Thumbs up.

6. Jesus Christ.

7. It worked on the Sims?

8. Confirmed: They don't.

9. Yum.

10. This is a popular one.

11. That's why pregnant people get so big.

12. Isn't this The Giver?

13. An Office crossover event.

14. Mirror mirror on the wall...

15. That's a lot.

16. What a way to go, though.

17. *head explodes*

18. It actually turns green...

19. Zaidy was a baby?

20. Degrees don't mean what they used to anymore.

21. Amen.

23 Utterly Random Memes Everyone Should Laugh At This Morning.

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Mornings suck, but this hilarious list of memes totally rocks. Get ready to laugh your buns off at this totally hilarious batch of memes.

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People are dragging ‘vegan’ Ariana Grande for promoting a dairy and egg-filled Starbucks drink.

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Ariana Grande is pretty much killing it this year.

After her brief stint with being engaged, she released a chain of breakup-inspired hits and I don't know a single person who doesn't know and love her. She's the polly pocket of pop stars but her voice and reputation is big. So big, in fact, that Starbucks is trying to get in on her buzz by using her to market a new drink. Starbucks, maybe stay in your lane of being a crash pad/bathroom-on-the-go for college kids and freelancers--all these new ideas are getting weird. Luxury Starbucks with wine? Running for President?

While a fun summery drink that's probably 10% coffee and 90% sugar sponsored by Ariana Grande sounds like fun, some people think it's hypocritical that the drink isn't vegan. Since 2013, Grande has expressed she tries to follow a plant-based diet out of love for animals, but the drink Starbucks is pedaling in her image has milk and eggs in it. When can we let the trend of putting eggs in beverages go? I don't need salmonella with my whiskey sour and I definitely don't need it in my coffee.

The drink is called the "Cloud Macchiato" and it honestly looks like it's trying to sabotage all of our bikini bodies.

While Grande's hashtag urges people to try the soy version, it's the "cloud powder" that contains egg whites.

And, some people were disappointed.

Some people noticed that Grande isn't 100% vegan and posts food to her Instagram stories often:

Perhaps they should drop the Mueller investigation to dive into what is important: a full investigation of Ariana Grande's chosen diet.


Dad tweets that having a kid is his 'biggest life regret' and probably regrets it now.

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Every child has likely felt at some point that their father likely regrets having them, and if you're author and CEO Sam McRoberts' son, you have the privilege of knowing for sure!

First, writer Julia Galef tweeted about the dream study she would run if she had the time, tracking the satisfaction of people unsure whether or not they want kids.

This once-random guy, Sam McRoberts, decided to chime in and explain that he and his wife initially planned on having three kids, but one proved to be too many. In the now-deleted tweet, the guy thought it was a good idea to volunteer the thought that having his son was his "biggest life regret."

Lest you think that a man who says he regrets having his son doesn't love his son, McRoberts clarified that his woke, enlightened child would be totally cool with this take.

sarcastic sarcasm GIF
Another bad dad...

People were not convinced that the guy who said "I regret my son's existence" is the greatest of dads.

It's one thing to feel this way, but why in the hell would you post about it on Twitter, for everyone to see, and therefore, drag?

Just because you have a hot take doesn't mean you should tweet it. That's what therapists are for!

People even issued statements out to the poor son.

Congratulations, Sam, on being Twitter's main character for a day. It's a dangerous job, but somebody has to do it.

Let's just hope that his son isn't on Twitter.

People are dragging this sexist viral photo of a little boy and girl in hospital gear.

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Casual sexism is embedded in so many parts of our culture it can feel nearly invisible until you shake your brain and realize it's been right there the whole time. Whether conscious or not, so many of the outdated gendered stereotypes are projected onto children from a very young age.

While it might feel over the top to call it out in seemingly benign situations, every joke and assumption made about kids form the building blocks of their self-perception. Which is to say, if something sexist or reductive is being projected onto kids, it's best to nip it in the bud.

All this being said, a picture posted by the Twitter page Medical Shots is now getting dragged for sexist connotations.

While the children themselves are cute, posting a photo that assumes the girl will be a nurse and the boy will be a doctor feels very tired.

There is nothing wrong with either of them pursuing either career, but it seems unnecessary to project these old stereotypes onto literal children.

It didn't take long for someone to post a perfect alternative to the original photo, one that maintains the cuteness without the tired assumptions.

Overall the picture got a big nope from Twitter.

This thread is basically an endless waterfall of nope, and the GIFs are a beauty to behold.

I have a feeling this is the last time this page will post a picture of this sentiment, unless igniting the backlash was part of the plan all along.

A Britney Spears musical is coming and the internet is going 'Crazy. They just can't sleep.'.

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Britney Spears is a goddess.

She's an insanely good dancer, she's had so many hit songs it's impossible to choose the best one and she survived 2007 which is inspiration to us all.

Even though she hasn't been totally in the limelight lately, nobody has forgotten about Britney. Even Broadway hasn't forgotten about Britney. In a new jukebox musical, 23 of Britney Spears' hit songs will be coming to the stage in a story that's not about her life, but about fairy tales instead. It's called "Once Upon a One More Time," which is a title that could use a workshop. Why couldn't they have just gone with "It's Britney, b*tch," or "A Story About a Girl Named Lucky?" Regardless, the concept is a musical comedy about Snow White, Cinderella, Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty who are in a book club, working their way through the Grimms' fairy tales. When they come across Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique" through a fairy godmother, they all read it and become...feminists through the songs of Britney Spears? It's unclear. The only thing we know for sure is that the magic of Britney is becoming a musical and even if it's the biggest train wreck that ever happened, we're all on board.

It's worth noting also that Britney's musical is starting in Chicago at the James M. Nederlander Theater November 13th-December 1st. Those were originally the same dates and venue set for "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" the Michael Jackson jukebox musical that was canceled after the recent HBO documentary.

23 Workplace Memes Everyone Should Laugh At By 5pm.

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Spending the majority of your life stuck at work really sucks. These hilarious workplace memes totally nail how we all feel about the daily grind.

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Guy ditches woman after she brings kid on first date. Is he an a**hole?

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Going on the first handful of dates with someone is always a risk, you never know what surprises will crop up or if they'll reveal themselves to be a psycho in the middle of an Italian restaurant while you're trying to eat your pasta.

Even if they're a perfectly nice person, there are certain factors people should be honest about upfront. For example, posting deceptive photos on your dating profile is a no-go, or hiding the fact that you have a kid and then springing them on someone without warning.

In a recent post on the subReddit Am I The Asshole, a college student asked the internet if he's a jerk for leaving his date after she brought her son on their first date without warning.

"So I am a college student, so is this girl. We met on Tinder and have been talking for a month or so. She said she didn't have an Instagram but did use Snap."

"Anyway, fast forward to just a few hours ago, we met for the first time (we were both looking for a relationship and not a hook up). She is beautiful, smart, and charismatic. She had a very nice body too, although in some of her photos she had a 'weird line' down her abdomen that I figured was inappropriate ask about as I only knew her for a month."

"So, we had plans for dinner tonight at a local diner. I got there before her, and went to a table. About five minutes later she comes. I was confused as I could almost 100% guarantee it was her but was like "it can't be because this woman has a child". Then, she comes up and says "Jack?! Hey! It's Melissa" I kinda nervously said "hey.." in a confused way. At first, I figured maybe she was babysitting or this was her unmentioned brother and thought wow she really is into me for still keeping our date (I don't mind kids as I am an elementary education major). Nope."

Not only did he not know the son would be coming, but he didn't know the son existed before meeting him on the date. This put both him and the child in a very precarious position.

"She said "This is Mike, he's my son!" I was shocked. I just looked at her and she said "Yea, hes my bundle of joy. Had him at 18" I said "Are you serious?" and she was like "Yea!! But it's no big deal, if I put him on his iPad he wont make a fuss, and, by the way, sorry for never mentioning him! Sometimes things get hectic in my life"

I just stood up, looked at her and said "I'm sorry, I don't think this will work out." She was like "..oh, but I really like you" and I just said "Im sorry" and left."

"Now, part of me feels dickish because I have never done that to a girl and try to hold respect for them, but I felt

  1. totally lied to

  2. betrayed (in a weird sense). I wanted to start my own family some day with a woman who hasn't had kids. Obviously if I was in my late 30s or 40s I would expect it, but I am just a college junior.... plus, I don't want to take on a 'father' responsibility should our relationship get serious over the next 2, 3 years

So, Reddit, AITA?"

People on Reddit were quick to weigh in, most of them believed the fault was on the guy's date for not being honest about her son.

godfxsh succinctly laid out what most of us are thinking.

"NTA. Who the fuck hides a kid and then brings them on the first date? Lmao"

IACITE_HOC called her behavior a form of catfishing.

"Yea, hes my bundle of joy..."

Such a bundle of joy you hid his existence from OP for a month. I get it - there's a huge stigma around having a kid that young and trying to find a partner at that age with a kid sucks. But, damn lady, catfishing someone is not the right way to go about it."

neuroctopus empathized with how hard it is to date as a single mom, but still thought the guy was unfairly tricked.

"NTA. She literally lied to you. Although I wrinkled my nose a little at your #2 about a woman who hasn’t had kids, you’re allowed your opinions about who you want to date. No one should misrepresent themselves to that degree! I was a young single mom and yes it’s hard to find a decent man, but lying is just silly."

heroicwhiskey weighed in on how difficult this dynamic must be for the child.

"In addition to what others responded, you're obviously much older than 2. Dating someone with a son that young, yeah, you're going to wind up filling a parental role. Not much you could do to avoid it without being an asshole, especially if she's someone who takes her kid on a first date."

Zeco5000 believes she was purposely putting the guy in a position where he'd feel uncomfortable leaving.

"NTA who brings their kid on a first date? I agree that she should have told you about him. Life was too hectic to mention in your tinder messaging that she had a kid? I find that hard to believe. It sounds more like she was trying to keep that secret until the date. I get that it's probably hard to find people willing to date you if you have a kiddo at 20 because most people in their early 20s aren't looking for that in a relationship, but that's something she needs to accept and it should be mentioned so that she can find someone who is ok with it and not waste the time of those who aren't."

All in all, the general internet consensus is that this guy wasn't an asshole for bailing on the date. Dating as a single mom in your early 20s doesn't sound easy by any stretch, but transparency is the only way to actually find someone you'll connect with.

This Felicity Huffman tweet did not age well now that she's been indicted for college admissions fraud.

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How rude!

Nearly fifty people, including actresses Felicity Huffman and Lori Laughlin, have been indicted by the FBI and the US Attorney's office in Boston for allegedly bribing college athletics coaches and entrance exam administrators to get their kids into elite American universities.

Federal told Aunt Becky to cut. it. out.

A tale of vast wealth, fraud, and privilege—not to mention the Desperate Housewives and Full House connections—have turned this absolutely bonkers indictment into the new Fyre Festival.

Twitter has to laugh, or else they'll cry about the myth we've been sold known as "meritocracy." The details are pretty insane.

According to the indictment, Huffman (aka Lynette from Desperate Housewives) participated in a scheme to get her daughter extra time and an answer-correcting proctor, and when she learned that the high school provided a presumably non-criminal administrator, she responded, "ruh ro!" like Scooby Doo.

Other parents also Photoshopped their childrens' heads onto athletes' bodies to pretend that they could join the school's varsity teams, while also allegedly bribing the coaches.

People are having fun with Huffman's old tweets, particularly this one.

There is always a tweet.

Donald Trump Jr. tried to dunk on Huffman too, forgetting that he's Donald Trump Jr.

Some of you may recall that Huffman is married to fellow actor and now unindicted co-conspirator William H. Macy. According to the indictment, he was frauding with the fraud, too.

The bribe to the proctor was laundered through a charity, because that's way easier than just making their daughter learn the word "lugubrious."

One could say that William H. Macy..............has no shame.

william h macy cheers GIF by Shameless

20 people share the dumbest sh*t their partner has said. Cows are fat horses.

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You know the saying "an elephant never forgets?!" Well, I'm pretty sure elephant could easily be interchangeable with partner, especially when it comes to the inevitable dumb garbage that escapes our mouths at one point or another.

In a recent Reddit thread people shared the dumbest words and beliefs to escape their partner's mouths, and you will feel much better about yourself after reading these.

1. illini211's girlfriend has been very confused about matinees.

"Current gf thought that the movie showings during the day were “Manatee Shows”. I had to explain to her that they are in fact “Matinee Shows”. 🤦🏻‍♂️😂

Edit: also convinced my ex-wife that the little pepper balls you grind to make pepper were the seeds from a pepperoni plant and that pepperoni wasn’t actually meat and grew straight up out of the ground like an earth dick."

2. bleanblanket's girlfriend thought shaving multiplied her hair.

"She told me she only waxes her legs, because if you shave one hair, then it splits and two grow back in its place..."

3. goaheadblameitonme's partner doesn't know what tree roots look like.

"I asked him to plant a baby tree in the back garden. The next day I saw it and thought it looked strange. Walked up and it had been planted upside down. He thought the roots were tiny limp branches. Laughed for days."

4. Armed_Muppet's partner regularly makes up idioms.

"She’s not very good with words and English is her first language.

“I got freezer bite on my hands”

Her idioms also need some work:

“You sound like the wolf who cried”

“You opened up a whole new worm”

5. coffeetish's fiance got confused about how genetics work.

"I had a kid prior to getting together with my fiancée and having a second daughter. The father of my eldest is not in the picture and my wonderful fiancée has taken her on as his own. To the point that he frequently forgets that she isn’t his genetic offspring."

"We were at a holiday party at his parents house. I was talking to my future SIL about my eldest and her night terrors when fiancée pops off with “she gets that from my side of the family...” cue really confused faces all around. His sister sat there and started questioning what other genetic diseases my eldest has magically got from stepdad. It took a few minutes before he figured it out. I love this man..."

6. Chibano's partner forgot key words.

"We bought a new car. She asked me if I changed the settings to Spanish because it said ‘Ajar’ on the dash when the door was open."

7. NoThankYouTrebek's husband thought parents got to pick their kids' belly buttons.

"As I'm in labor with our daughter, my husband asks "Do you want her to have an innie or an outie belly button?" Weird question, but whatever. So I tell him I don't mind either way, both are cute. And then he says "Yeah, but when the Dr asks, which should we pick for her?"

"He thought when they clamp the umbilical cord, parents tell the Dr the type of belly button they prefer. He's really smart, I promise."

8. DetroitBreakdown's wife thought David Letterman toured.

"When my wife and I started dating in the mid 1980's she knew I was a huge fan of David Letterman. She said she had a huge surprise for me as she had tickets to see Letterman at a local venue."

"I was confused since David Letterman did not tour. I looked at the tickets she purchased and they were for the old 60's band "The Lettermen".

We didn't go, but I married her. 30 years this September...

9. awash907's husband tried to clean the fireplace with a leaf blower.

"One time my husband called me at work, "Babe, you're gonna be mad, I made a mess but don't worry I'll fix it!" I didn't even ask, just sighed, because he is basically Lucy from I Love Lucy. When I got home a little bit later it was to a living room COVERED in gray powder, my husband completely filthy with a trash bag and broom and a super panicked look on his face. Turned out he'd decided to help around the house and wanted to clean the fireplace, he'd just decided the best way to do it would be to stand in front of it with a trash bag and use the leaf blower to blow the ashes in."

"Spoiler - that doesnt work. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I laughed my ass off and it's still one of my favorite weird things he's done."

10. PrimarySearcher asked his wife an impossible favor.

"I’ll answer for my wife. I had gone to Home Depot to pick up a trailer hitch ball for my truck. I didn’t realize that they had different shaft sizes, and I didn’t know which size I needed, so I called my wife and this conversation took place:"

"Me: “Are you at the house?” Her: “Yeah, why?” Me: “Can you go out to the driveway and measure the hole in the bumper of my truck? It should be either 1/2-inch or 3/4-inch.”

"There’s a pause...

Her: “Isn’t your truck with you?”

Yes. Yes it was. That was how I had gotten to Home Depot. I forgot."

11. ZeBootygoon's mom got Punkd by their dad.

"My favorite memory of my parents is going to some fast food joint, through the drive thru. Mom is driving and giving our orders to the cashier. Just as she finishes my dad casually says "To go" my mom, and she turns back to the cashier and says "To go." Two seconds of buffering later and she slaps my dad full on in the chest, who is laughing fucking hysterically. Dont think we've ever let her live that down."

12. boobooskadoodoo's girlfriend had a very confusing graduation experience.

"My girlfriend in college attended my graduation and afterward says to me, “Man, there were a lot of people with the name ‘lawdy’.”

"Each time someone was given their degree, it was announced whether they were graduating “cum laude” or not. My girlfriend thought America’s largest family graduated from university with me that day - the Lawdy family (and they all looked unrelated.)"

13. tinbasher97's boyfriend thinks stars travel during the day.

"My boyfriend as we were looking up at the beautiful night sky. "Wow, there's so much we don't know about the universe. Like where the stars go during the day. Are they still there? If not, where do they go?".

He was dead serious."

14. Docdentanddane's wife lost a whole car.

"My deeply intelligent wife lost her CAR. Like left it in a parking lot and somehow got home on Friday. Monday morning I get a text: “where’s my car?”

She’s gonna finish her medical degree next year."

15. Zombombaby's husband was confused by tent models.

"My husband and I were at Canadian Tire and they had tiny examples of tents (basically looked like they were made for barbie dolls) and the pricing for each underneath. He turned to me shocked and asked, "why are these so expensive for such tiny tents?!".

I almost died laughing."

16. xXCourier99Xx's partner thought cows were fat horses.

"We were driving through some back roads and passed a couple pastures. She saw some cows and started very excitedly trying to get my attention. Grabbing on my arm and saying “babe, babe, look how FAT those horses are”

I have never let it go and she still doesn’t think it’s funny."

17. chunkyhenrybakes partner had a creative way of cracking eggs.

"I showed her how to crack an egg by tapping it against another egg and she thought this meant any amount of force would be absorbed by only one egg and smashed two eggs together spraying yolk everywhere."

18. BeerAintDrinkin's girlfriend thought polaroids took video.

"My now ex-girlfriend got a Polaroid camera for Christmas. Jokingly one day I said “Does it take videos?” And she very seriously said “I’m sure it does but I haven’t tried that feature yet”

19. Vakardur was once at a true loss for words.

"We were sitting in a bus in the middle of heavy rush hour traffic. I'm kind of a car geek, so I spotted a mint condition 1970s classic Mustang."

"I just went and said "Look honey! A car!"

There were hundreds of them.

... I don't think she'll let me live this down."

20. Notangryactuallycalm's partner tried to quit smoking in the most Amela Bedelia way possible.

"She ate cold turkey to try and quit smoking."


23 Memes Men Probably Won't Find That Funny.

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These ridiculously funny memes will be relatable as hell to all the ladies out there. The struggle is real, and so are the laughs in this hilarious meme list.

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This person told the internet they hate their autistic sister. The responses may surprise you.

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Living with a family member who is mentally handicapped certainly has its challenges, a lot of which most people cannot even imagine. Life is complicated, and it's hard to understand the nuanced realities of others' experiences until we sit and hear them out. It's easy to judge, and much harder to listen.

That's why it was so inspiring to see people's empathetic responses to a person who posted about living with a sister with severe autism. Reddit user renegadesrules33 posted to the board "AITAH," which is short for "Am I The Ass Hole," asking if she's an ass hole for hating her mentally handicapped sister. At first glance, this sounds like she is almost definitely the ass hole here, but the way the posts progresses and the responses it received might surprise you.

The original post reads:

The title makes me sound horrible but hear me out.

My sister is severely autistic. She requires attention almost 24/7 and cannot be left alone. She is non-verbal and cannot take care of herself at all. Despite the fact that she is only 12 she is extremely destructive and violent and destroys anything she gets her hands on.

I hate her. That should be wrong to say but it doesn't feel like it.

I was only 6 years old when she was born and since then i've never solely had my parents attention. Even since I can remember the world has revolved around her. I was moved out of my room into the basement at 7 because she needed to be in the room next to my parents. All of my toys as a child were destroyed by her and my parents simply ignored me when I complained. Even when I was 14 and she destroyed a mac my school gave me I was in the wrong.

Along with this I am expected to take care of her and drop everything I do for her. I can never make plans with friend because my parents "expect" me to be there if they need me to take care of her. Even when I do somehow get time to myself I am required to leave if they need me. If i do not then I am punished. The recent example of this is when I went to see the new spider man movie, and was "grounded" because i turned my phone off in the theater.

It seems as if I am nothing more than a slave to them and anything involving her simply overshadows me. This last week I was chosen to give a speech at a school event. I was so exited and my parents promised to be there, but they never showed and claimed it was because of my sister. Anytime anything like this happens for me they are to busy with her.

I've held this in for so long and it finally spilled out today. While talking about colleges with my father, he joked that I should get a degree that pays well so when their gone I can take care of my sister. I don't know why but this caused me to break down. I cried and screamed about how it always about her. I'm nothing more than a caretaker to them, that they always make it about her and that I'm expected to be her "slave" for the rest of my life.

I've locked myself in my room since then and my parents have not come to check on me. Am i the asshole here?

This story has a lot of layers, but the main issue here is how this person's parents have been treating them. Reddit users came in hot, ready to give their support to the original poster (OP).

JayConz said:

These are perfectly legitimate and understandable feelings. You have done nothing to sign up for taking care of another human being (it's not like she's your kid), and that was wrong of your dad to "joke" about, because it sounds like he probably is really thinking along those lines.

Be honest with your parents about how you feel- make clear that it's insane that you're expected to be a full-time babysitter (grounded for no phone in a theater? That's fucking bullshit).

nucleusambiguous said:

Yes, I am quite sure the dad is thinking along those lines. OP, my advice is to get your education and move out of that house ASAP and NEVER allow yourself to be sucked back in. Once you are financially independent you can make absolutely clear that you are not going to be responsible for your sister's care. Period. You are under NO obligation to make your adult life about taking care of your sister. Your parents should be making some plans on how your sister will be taken care of after they are gone independent from you. The sooner you make this clear to them the less "guilty" you may feel for not taking on this responsibility. After all, they will have had plenty of time to make arrangements.

And I only say "financially independent" because I'm afraid that it the OP took such a firm stand now her parents wouldn't help her financially with her education ect if they are able.

Many were quick to point out the the parents were the ones creating the anger this person felt, not the sister. The resentment was simply being misplaced.

OtherwiseJello said:

OP is six years older than her 12-yo sister, so it makes her about 18, or soon to be. He or she could get out of the house very soon, get a job, get roommates, etc. Just get away. The parents are abusing and using them.

Kagura_San said:

Thissss. NTA. It sounds like your parents are the ones who have cultivated this resentment within you, over the years.

Have you suggested family therapy to them? For just you and the two of them (no sister)? I think it could work wonders if each of you could explain your whole story to the rest, with a mediator and without interruption. And then have the time to react accordingly so everyone feels like they have been heard, and furthermore, understood.

theperrywinkle05 said:

Honestly, I agree and I understand OPs feelings. I would probably have cracked long before them if I was in the same situation. But it seems like your parents are the assholes, not your sister. They need to stop treating your little sister like a pet, and you like her caretaker. They are grossly mishandling the situation. What a shame.

After so many comments like the ones above, the original poster provided an update to their situation. Like the original post, it's complicated and somewhat heartbreaking, but it does include some hope for the future.

I'm back like I said I would be,. My original post got a lot of attention and seeing as you guys seem interested, here's my update.

Well, since that day I made the post i've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly a huge change for me for better and for worse but i'll try to run it down.

I started by telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down the way I did and to be honest, he seemed horrified. No one in my family knew my parents were using me as essentially a free care service for my sister. My grandpa told me some things that I don't feel comfortable repeating here but in essence my sister is "supposed" to be getting care from a professional and that my parents were ignoring that, along with this I was not supposed to be caring for her at all with her mental state as apparently she is a danger to herself and others. With everything else I told him, along with stuff like the movie indecent he was really mad and told me to not contact my parents without him there. He pretty much told me that he would be meeting with my parents beforehand and that he was going to be there when I sat down with them. It didn't end here either, the rest of the week consisted of other family checking in on me and telling me things my parents hid from me. This included the fact that my parents have been taking money from family to fund a "caretaker" that doesn't exist.

Suffice to say, this week has been rough. But, the upside is that even through all this, my extended family has been giving me more love than i've felt in a while. My grandfather spent this last week "making up for the time i've lost." Encouraging me to spend time with friends and do things I want to do. My aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.

Well, Saturday night I sat down with parents to talk. It went badly to say the least. They came clean to me about everything. They told me things I will not repeat here. But they did not apologize. My parents still claim that I some how owed my sister my time. My father even saying "You were put here to be her caretaker". I won't lie and say I was composed. After everything i learned I confronted them. On the fact that my sister needed a caretaker. The money my dad was taking from his sister, and a few other things. They denied it or made excuses. And in the end, we ended off in a worse place than before.

Today will be my last time talking to them for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle last night, I'm not going back. Later today i'm going there and picking up my stuff and moving in with my grandfather. When I graduate high school i'm planning on leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has told me that the money she was sending my dad will be instead be coming to me from now on. My parents have called me twice since Saturday, neither of them were to apologize and only ask when I was coming home.

I won't be going back to them. Right now I still feel pretty uneasy about everything but I feel like that will pass. The rest of my family is showing their support to me and honestly, it feel great. But in the end I lost my parents. Over all of this, i've learned something that I wished I saw earlier. I don't hat my sister. In fact I love her with all my heart. I should never have never projected my hate onto her. That was wrong, and someday I hope to make up for it. But for now I need to leave.

So, there's my update. Thanks again for the support my original post got. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment or show me support. Thanks you.

We wish this person the best on their journey to independence.

Pete Davidson compared the Catholic church to R. Kelly. Now that's big dick energy.

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Pete Davidson has been in the news a lot lately for dating ridiculously hot women, so it's nice to see him get attention for his true art: offensive jokes. Pete Davidson made a joke on SNL's Weekend Update drawing comparisons between the Catholic church and R. Kelly. What do the two have in common, you may ask? Well, that's the joke.

Pete Davidson started his joke by talking about R. Kelly. He said, “This guy is a monster and he should go to jail forever." Then he brought the joke home with this punchline: “But if you support the Catholic church, isn’t that like the same thing as being an R. Kelly fan? I don’t really see the difference, except for one’s music is significantly better.”

Damn, Pete, tell us how you really feel. Well, the Catholic church certainly fired back with how they really feel about this joke. Hint: not well, bitch!

The diocese put forward a stern statement saying, “The Diocese of Brooklyn is demanding an immediate public apology from ‘Saturday Night Live’ and NBC after Saturday night’s disgraceful and offensive skit,” the statement said.

However, not everyone agreed with who was in the wrong here.

Sounds like Pete Davidson's jokes are as controversial as his energy is big dick'd.

Kellyanne Conway's tweet about the college bribery scandal is a solid Trump burn.

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The college admissions bribery scandal has everything:

An FBI sting. A massive, multi-million dollar fraudulent charity. Aunt Becky from Full House.

The White House has decided to chime in on the crimes of Full House's Lori Loughlin, it what is inadvertently a massive burn on anybody named Trump or Jared Kushner.

Rather than, you know, not weigh into this, Kellyanne Conway, one of the only non-blood relatives of Donald Trump still working in the White House, called the indicted actress Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman and their daughters dumb.

Yeah, they're hella dumb, but those who work in White Houses should not throw stones.

Michael Cohen testified just last week that, under Trump's orders, he threatened the president's alma maters and the College Board not to release his grades and scores.

The post was promptly ratioed, and the replies wrote themselves.

Bad tweet alert!

Jared "The Kush" Kushner was famously featured in a book called The Price of Admission, which outlined the totally legal bribe his father Charles gave Harvard to give him a diploma:

Is she trolling Jared Kushner, or is she trolling all of us?

Alternatively, is she just that dumb?

23 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Married.

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