If you haven't watched Netflix's Queer Eye reboot, I implore you to immediately carve out 45 minutes for an episode. If your heart is beating, that is all it will take to draw you into the feel-good antics of a show heaven bent on making people feel good about themselves.

If you've already watched the show, then it's likely you're already deeply familiar with the grooming babe Jonathan Van Ness, who is obsessed with spreading the gospel of a good haircut, a bit of moisturizer, and confidence for days.

While a majority of the internet loves Van Ness, like anyone in the public eye, he still faces his fair share of trolls. For the most part, he lets internet trolls live out their sad lives ignored. However, when duty calls, Van Ness does not holding back from dishing out a carefully crafted roast.

During a recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live, Van Ness dished about a horrible date he went on following the Queer Eye casting call.

While most viewers were enamored by the antics of the story, one internet commenter decided to share how much he hated Van Ness's look, claiming it was the "ugliest" and a "mess."

"This sidepart is the ugliest effing thing I’ve ever seen ... expect for the mustache. This clowns a mess," the commenter wrote.

When the comment popped into Van Ness's feed, he wasted no time shutting it all down.

"I think you're really going through it hon & that must be hard. Someday when you start walking carpets & doing photo shoots outside your bedroom let me know how you deal with the pressure," Van Ness wrote, with equal parts grace and critique.

This is why you don't come for Van Ness, unless him or the rest of the five fab sent for you.

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”

—Cher

If you can't laugh at the ups and downs of marriage what can you laugh it? Having a spouse is compromise, sacrifice, and sometimes it's just funny as hell. Anyone who's ever been married will definitely relate to these hilarious memes.

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A truly clueless dad accidentally alerted his entire newsfeed that he would "like to F*CK" a woman he might consider a "hottie," unaware that his explicit Facebook comment would be public. Dutifully, his stepdaughter stepped in to let him know that everyone he's friends with on Facebook could see his interaction with the porn page, according to BuzzFeed News.

Here's the whole, terrible, (thankfully) brief exchange, as shared by a third party apparently related to the commenter.

"Hey dad... All of your friends can see when you comment on this stuff." Stuff, of course, being "hot sex porn."

There's nothing worse in this world than that! Ashley's tweet went viral and apparently made it to the front page of Reddit, because this is the nightmare scenario for all humanity. According to BuzzFeed, dad's claiming he got "hacked." No one believes him.

Shut down the internet, it's all over folks.

Work sucks and then you die. If you're lucky there's also some free break room donuts and funny AF memes tossed in the mix. We can't make the weekend get here any sooner, but we can make you laugh today. Enjoy these hysterical workplace memes now.

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Trolling is one of the greatest love languages exchanged between a kid and their parents, and in many cases, the trolling only gets better as you get older. Being a parent is undoubtedly hard work, often with little material pay off, and there is no demographic quicker to remind you of that than your smug offspring.

Of course, the people who are the best at trolling their parents are often just dishing back the lessons they learned. How can you know how to roast their soul where it hurts if they didn't show you their soul AND those roasting abilities in the first place?!

Nonetheless, just because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when it's flung at your eye. Some people have a true knack for hilariously dishing out disappointment to their parents in ways the rest of the world can truly appreciate, and these are 20 of them.

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Want to feel old? Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter -- who is famously named Apple -- is a teenager with an Instagram now. It seems like just yesterday she was a baby who was in the news for being named Apple. Now she's in the news for arguing with her mom on Instagram. They grow up so fast!

It's unsurprising for a teenager and her mom to fight, but doing so on social media is peak 2019. So what happened? Yesterday Gwyneth Paltrow posted a photo of her and Apple on the slopes (pictured above). It's a cute pic, but not everybody involved was happy about it being shown to the world. In a since deleted comment, Apple wrote:

Mom we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent."

Uh-oh. That sounds like the beginning of an epic mother-daughter battle.

Gwyneth responded to the comment with:

@applemartin You can't even see your face!

It looks like the two are not in agreement on this one. And neither are the people in the comments section. Apple's comment may have been deleted, but the discussion over privacy and consent when it comes to posting photos is still raging on.

Some people agreed with Apple.

I don’t think I normally agree with a teenager about something like this but I totally do. I don’t know much about Apple she doesn’t go in the public eye. Maybe she wants to keep it that way. Her mom has over 5 million followers. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want her sharing pictures like that. I don’t think it sounds like she’s being entitled maybe she just wants privacy because it’s really hard to be a child of a famous person and actually have a normal childhood.

You'd think a celebrity who has to deal with paparazzi could grasp the concept of someone wanting their privacy respected. You need to have more respect for your kid and her desire for social media boundaries.

Others thought Apple was being a brat.

Get over yourself, she's just a proud Mommy!!!!

Classic teen entitlement and lack of respect to parents...smh!

And some had run into the same issue with their kids.

I agree with @applemartin on this. I have 2 teenage sons and now that they're old enough to be effected by something I post I always ask them if its ok first. It's a simple show of respect for them, the same as we expect them to show to us.

And some were in plain disbelief.

Are there really people criticizing what @applemartin did? OMG!

Either way, I have the feeling mom is getting the silent treatment right now.

But this does raise the question: do moms have all rights over their kids to post any photos of them they want, or should they get consent from their kids before posting? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

As anyone who has ever seen (or read!) The Perks of Being a Wallflower understands—or, you know, has ever been to school—having a good teacher can truly change your life.

Chasten Buttigieg is a teacher in Indiana whose husband, Pete Buttigieg, is currently running for the Democratic nomination for president.

Pete may have the flashier job, but Chasten is a Twitter celebrity in his own right. He was recently followed by Chrissy Teigen herself, and the couple support both of each other's careers as two of the only positive people on that damn hell site.

Seriously. They are the cutest.

Chasten asked his followers to share stories of teachers who made meaningful impacts on their lives, and the tales will thaw even YOUR cold, dead heart.

He shared the story of his high school drama teacher, Mrs. Bach, who gave him a home in the theater.

The New York Times covered Chasten and Pete's (ChaPete? Petesten?) wedding, and mentioned both of their coming out stories.

Chasten, from Traverse City, Michigan, came out in high school and moved out of his family's house shortly after. He "left home soon after disclosing his sexuality to his parents, and couch surfed with friends for a time and lived out of his car," according to the Times. That makes Mrs. Bach all the more important.

Here are some other profoundly moving stories. You officially have permission to get emotional.

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Airlines are rarely in the news for something good. Whether there's a tragic crash or an employee is videotaped dragging a customer off of a flight, the incidents that make headlines usually aren't great promo. And that is certainly the case with this story about Delta.

Comedian Gary Owens posted a video on Instagram alleging that a Delta employee racially profiled his wife Kenya Duke, who is black. According to the video, Duke was waiting in the line for first class when an agent approached her and asked her if she was supposed to be there. After she answered that she was in fact in first class, she asked the agent if he was going to ask the white man behind her the same question. The agent's response? "No," and when she asked him why not he said it was because he "didn't feel like it." Yeah, that's not great.

Here is the full video:

Owens let Delta know he really felt. At the end of the video he says, “So Delta, I have almost three million miles with you. When you see this lady? That’s my wife. She flies first. Don’t ask.”

A Delta spokesperson told Yahoo Lifestyle that Duke was not standing in the proper area, and that's why the agent asked her if she was in first class. The spokesperson also alleged that the man behind her was standing a few feet back, in the correct designated area.

Delta made an official statement, which said “Delta apologizes to this customer for her experience and we are reviewing the situation with our Cincinnati team to ensure a better customer interaction moving forward. We take situations like these very seriously and do not tolerate discrimination of any kind. We are in contact with the customer to better understand what transpired.”

According to Delta this was all a misunderstanding, but I'm sure not all parties involved believe that.

Today's the day you wake up and kick ass. It's going to be a great day! Get your laugh on with these hilarious memes then get ready to take on the world.

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Cardi B has never been one to hold back when it comes to speaking her mind. The Bronx native prides herself in being real, honest, and unfiltered. Her 'what you see is what you get' attitude and larger than life personality are part of what have drawn so many fans to her. But a recent video from the rapper's Instagram Live channel resurfaced and a lot of people feel she went too far this time.

In the video, Cardi is going off on haters who think she doesn't deserve her success and awards, telling them about all the things she had to do in order to survive and ultimately get to where she is now. She says, "Ni**as must've forgot, my ni**a, the sh*t that I did to motherf*cking survive. I had to go strip. I had to go, ‘Oh yeah, you wanna f**k me?' Yeah yeah yeah, let’s go back to this hotel. And I drugged ni**as up and I robbed them. That’s what I used to do. Nothing was motherf**king handed to me, my ni**a. Nothing!”

People were less than pleased to hear Cardi talking about drugging and robbing people, even if it was a means of survival. The hashtag #SurvivingCardiB started trending on Twitter as everyone jumped in to give their two cents on the matter.

Being who she is, Cardi addressed the situation head on. She posted an explanation/apology that she wrote in her notes app and posted to Twitter, which is peak 2019. In the note she says, "I never claim to be perfect or come from a perfect world wit a perfect past I always speak my truth I always own my shit." She also notes, "I'm apart of a hip hop culture where you can talk about where you come from talk about the wrong things you had to do to get where you are."

Here is the full post:

Cardi posted a few other tweets that seem to imply that she won't let this controversy stop her from doing her thing.

It's hard to say where things will go from here. Will Cardi...B canceled? Okay, I will show myself out.

Money is hell. There's truly no other way to put it. Regardless of whether you're born broke, or saddled with the expectations of a moneyed family, there's opportunities for everyone to make financial mistakes.

While the potential to make financial mistakes is not relegated to age, a majority of people make their worst financial decisions when they're just starting their adult life, during the invincible glow of their 20s.

In a recent Reddit thread, people shared some of the worst financial mistakes they made in their 20s, and these will make you feel infinitely less alone about your credit card debt.

1. YounomsayinMawfk listened to a shady boss.

"Staying at the same job for too long. I followed my passion for martial arts and worked at a martial arts studio. The pay was shit (especially for NYC) but the owner kept saying if I stuck with it, I'd make a lot one day."

"It took until my mid-30s to realize he was just stringing me along. I started over in a new industry and within 3 months, was making more at an entry level position that I did in more than 10 years at my last job. Following your passion is important but be prepared for the possibility of being poor."

2. hulagirlslovetoparty supported a deadbeat partner.

"Supporting the lifestyle of two people, when both of us were making money. It's a lot easier to segue into a new life when you aren't still getting someone else's bills."

3. Tarpy32 sunk money into a bad weave.

"In 1992. Going bald at 22. Went 2 Apollo hair salon in Jacksonville Florida. Spent 1500.00 bucks for a hair weave. Ripped it out after 2 days. Biggest waste of money."

4. TacoFlavordKisses bought an insanely expensive car.

"Bought a $36k car. Probably shouldnt have done that. Would have rather saved the money. The car is about to be paid off so I just look at it as a lesson learned."

5. Jar545 is on the college debt track.

"Currently 21, going to an expensive college that I had no business going to."

6. sometimesiamdead turned down a great scholarship for a mediocre relationship.

"I got accepted to a university several hours away and was offered a scholarship for 25k. Instead I went to a more local school so I could stay with my boyfriend. We broke up halfway through first year."

7. geekyspacegirl420 didn't take credit cards seriously enough.

"Definitely not taking credit cards seriously. I’ve finally have a great credit score after too many years of fixing my mistakes. Always pay off your balances people! That shit adds up fast."

8. oneleggedhipster knows how expensive cigarettes can be.

"Honestly probably smoking. As a pack a day smoker I was spending fourteen dollars daily."

9. PMME_ur_lovely_boobs knows someone with doctor debt and no med degree.

"Not me, but one of my classmates realized that he didn't want to be a doctor after he had finished his fourth year tuition for medical school and did not successfully match into a residency program. Now he's at least $300,000 in debt and does not expect to have a doctor's income in order to pay that off."

10. favouritoburrito's biggest financial mistake was giving up their life for money.

" I stayed at a job I hated, working 60+ hour weeks for big paycheques. For 4 years I was too tired, miserable and sore to even enjoy it when I could. Maybe it's just because I have this perspective now, but I would have been twice as happy flipping burgers. I lost friends, was far too miserable for anyone to want to date and lived a very sad life where ordering pizza alone on Saturday nights was usually the highlight of my week."

"I consider my years of 24 - 28 to be wasted years in pursuit of paycheques and "not making financial mistakes". It was not worth it."

11. notthatcbailey learned how expensive kids are, the hard way.

"Got someone I wasn't married to (or even seeing steady) pregnant."

12. Javanz didn't give a second thought to spending.

"Simply spending too much without paying attention to it, and thinking I was probably fine. And it was usually just regular stuff like coffee and takeaways too. I just didn't notice how quickly it all adds up."

"By the time I met my future wife, I had pretty much zero assets and some debt, despite the fact that I had a reasonably good paying job."

"She went through my finances like a hurricane and we agreed on a strict budget and a weekly allowance. A decade later, we're debt free with house paid off. It's the most basic financial advice but learn to budget everything properly"

13. Ric0chetRabbit blew their bitcoin load on a girl.

"Bought 6k worth of Bitcoin, over the next 6 months I turned that into about 32 grand. My dumb ass proceeded to spend every penny of that on traveling to see a girl and taking us out to fancy places. I wish I would have spent just 3k on getting my car back in good condition."

14. ThroMoFoSho spends at least ten grand a year on takeout.

"A quick search of my credit card history shows I spend about $10,000 per year on takeout. 2016 was pretty bad as i spent about $15,000 on takeout. Tbh though, im still doing it today and don't plan to stop any time soon."

15. stylz168 got into debt for an LDR.

"I thought I would die alone and never find a girlfriend, so I spent 3 years in a long distance relationship, flying every other weekend to meet her. $20,000 in credit card debt before I finally woke the fuck up and realized what I was doing was wrong. Ruined my credit, wasted years of my life."

16. Boblust got sucked into a MLM scheme.

"Herbal Life. Got sucked into buying products I needed to sell. $400 initial buy-in. Stupid young 20 something Boblust."

17. JesusChristSuperDerp got sucked into the vortex of Amex.

"My 1st credit card was an American Express card, I had no idea you had to pay it all back at the end of the month....it was only $400 but at that time it might as well been $4000"

18. Breninnog blew through their inheritance.

"Had an inheritance turning 21 of around $31,000* which disappeared within a year. I would have a ridiculous amount of savings by now if I could have managed my money better."

"Second biggest mistake was living above my means and ended up with a wrecked credit rating and a managed loan for $28,000* which took 10 years to repay. Remember kids, 20% goes into savings. *Amounts are adjusted for inflation and exchange rate at that time."

19. zottman got hitched straight out of boot camp.

"I spent 6 years in the Navy. I Immediately got married after boot camp, which is the one of biggest mistakes you can make. Shortly after checking into my command, I was deployed and gave her general power of attorney. We both wanted a divorce within a few months of me leaving. She bought a car in my name and took out a small loan. Shit hurt for awhile."

20. insanebuslady sunk money into a business.

"Early 20’s - Credit Card Debt. Bailed myself out of that pretty quickly

Mid-Late 20’s - open a bicycle shop. Great learning experience and I didn’t lose my shirt, but lost a bunch of money nonetheless, and could have used the time doing other things/maybe have bought a house or something."

"Now I’m on a pretty conventional career path and fortunately am making decent money/able to save while living comfortably."

21. guera08 got behind on taxes.

"Working under the table, not paying taxes, and then realizing I needed to fix the gaping hole in my work history. Paying off 4 years of back taxes, when you count interest and penalties its double what I would've paid if I had done it on time. Thankfully the IRS just want their money and are willing to take it on a monthly basis for the next several years..."

22. younghooker's brother's friend really got the wool pulled over his eyes.

"My brothers friend got hypnotized by a Mormon girl to convert to Mormonism and hold on.. PASS UP HIS FULL RIDE TRACK AND FIELD SCHOLARSHIP TO STANFORD. They went to a small mormon university where she cheated on him the first year."

Remember 5th grade math? Here's the thing: I don't. And turns out I'm not alone. We're told we'll need to learn math skills in order to survive in the world, but for those of us who enter fields that don't require handling numbers, basic addition and subtraction are pretty much all we keep with us. As long as I can add up how much the five $4 bottles of wine at Trader Joe's will cost me, I'm good. (The answer is $20 plus tax. Nailed it.)

However, no matter how advanced your math skills are now as an adult, you may still find it difficult to solve certain problems that look deceptively simple. Below are five math problems that, in theory, should be easy to solve, but usually stump people. See if you can figure them out. It's like the SAT's all over again. Enjoy!

1. The infamous PEMDAS equation.

This one is a doozy. You may think the answer here is 1, but that is where you're wrong. PEMDAS stands for Parentheses, Exponents, Multiplication Division, Addition and Subtraction, and the rule is you have to solve in that order, but also from left to right in the order both operations appear. So, 6÷2(1+2) = 6÷2x(1+2) = 6÷2x3 = 3x3 = 9. The answer is 9! And now my head hurts.

2. The fruit problem.

This might look like a problem you'd see in a elementary school level math book, but it's actually quite tricky. Most people think the answer is 16, but that is incorrect. At first glance, the apple is equal to 10, the bananas are equal to 4, and the coconut is equal 2. Therefore 2+10+4 would be 16. But if you look more closely, the coconut on the last line is only half of a coconut, and the banana bunch on the last line has only 3 bananas instead of 4. So, you must adjust the numbers to be 1+10+3, which equals 14. Having fun yet?

3. The beal conjecture

If you can't solve this one, don't feel bad. Literal mathematicians can't either. According to mathematic logic, if A^x + B^y = C^z, and A, B, C, x, y, z are all whole numbers greater than zero, then A, B, and C should all have a common prime factor. In case it's been a minute since you've attended algebra class, a common prime factor is when each of the numbers is divisible by the same prime number. For example: 15, 10, and 5 all have a common prime factor of 5 because they are all divisible by 5.

The problem is, this equation doesn't work once x,y,z are greater than two. Look:

5¹ + 10¹ = 15¹

BUT

5² + 10²≠ 15²

Good luck with this one, I give up.

4. The lily pad problem

Here is the problem: In a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake?

Most people come up with 24 as the answer, but that is -- you guessed it -- incorrect. It's tempting to simply divide 48 in half, but that's actually not right. If the lily pad doubles in size every day, then on any given day, the lily patch was half the size the day before. So if the patch reaches the entire size of the lake on the 48th day, it means the lily pad was half the size of the lake the day before, so on day 47. The answer is 47! I have a migraine!

5. The concept of 0.999...

Riddle me this: 0.999... = 1. True or false?

Most people guess false, and they are...false! What a plot twist! The "..." here implies tha the number goes on indefinitely, so most people assume it will never equal 1. BUT the correct way to look at it is like this: 1/3 = .333...if you multiply both sides by three you’ll see that 3/3 equals 0.999… Therefore, 3/3 = 1 = 0.999…

Wow, so simple! Now I really need those 5 bottles of $4 wine!

Your parents gave you life, and they can drag you within an inch of it.

Writer Alanna Bennett kicked off a viral thread in which children of parents shared their experiences with getting roasted by their mom and dad, and damn, there are some real Lucille Bluths out there.

Bennett's dragging came courtesy of her mother, whose passive-aggression is an inspiration to us all.

It's even funnier knowing that Bennett's mom went to the post office or FedEx center, putting this together and paying to have it shipped.

There's more where that came from.

1. Rachel's mom just wants to educate.

2. Nobody's perfect.

3. Smell you later.

4. Ouch.

5. Maybe she feared a conflict of interest?

6. That hurts more than the tattoo.

7. You're welcome!

8. Ya burnt.

9. Chapter One: Recovering From Trauma.

10. Mom sass is the best sass.

11. First? There's a list?!

12. Best dad ever.

13. Welcome back!

14. The opposite of a stage mom.

15. Banana bread with a side of STD.

16. Right back at you, Mom.

17. Inspiring!

18. Mother knows best.

Over at Someecards, we promote freedom-of-discussion and celebrate differences of opinion. But certain opinions, like the world being flat, or vaccinations harming children, are simply wrong and dangerous and should never see the light of day. Unfortunately, many very bad opinions often do see the light of day—in fact, they make up about a third of the internet (the rest is mostly memes and porn).

Recently, a very bad take ended up on the feminist website, Jezebel, with the headline: "Jagged Little Pill is actually very bad???" Unfortunately, I read it, and it felt like someone had reached back in time to punch my teen self in the gut for absolutely no apparent reason. As if being a teen wasn't painful enough.

SPOILER ALERT: if the three question marks and the "actually" in the headline aren't enough of an indication, this article—and not Alanis' album—is what is actually very bad. The writer opens by celebrating her husband for condescendingly criticizing her music taste, and it somehow gets worse from there. In paragraph two she slams both 2Pac and Rihanna, implying we should defer to her more sophisticated husband's preferences from that point on, because he likes The Beach Boys. She then, with no self-awareness or solid evidence, goes on to try and take down Alanis Morrisette's iconic, beloved, and multiple Grammy-winning 1995 album for reasons that seem to have nothing to do with the album, or music in general, and everything to do with her trying to distance herself from her "uncool" teen self.

The article was so needlessly cruel and vicious that it forced more than one person to ask:

(Alanis and Uncle Joey dated for a brief-yet-tumultuous time but you, you, you aughta know that already!)

Clearly I'm not the only person to react with blinding rage to this complete waste of internet space. Jezebel's tweet about the story was quickly ratio'd into oblivion.

People are, actually, very mad???

And others are pointing out that the article is also, actually, very sexist???

And multitudes of people, especially women, are expressing how Jagged Little Pill inspired them, uplifted them, and helped them cope with adolescence.

This person sums up the outrage quite well:

As dumb and bad as this article was, on the bright side, the defense of Alanis Morissette has been spectacular.

Even Liz Phair came through to drop some knowledge!

This tweet says what literally everyone is thinking:

Don't dish out Jagged Little Pills, if you can't take them, mmmkay?

The internet loves a good life hack, whether it's a primer on the correct way to thread needles or a video showing us the right way to eat pineapples, who among us doesn't want to learn how to navigate the world with more savvy?!

After all, adulthood is nothing more than a long series of interactions where we fake calm and competence. Might as well up the ante with some shortcuts.

That being said, not all life hacks are created equal, and some of them feel like more of a desperate reach than an actual shortcut, and in those cases, people online do not hold back from calling it out.

The most recent example of a life hack largely rejected was posted by The Edmonton Journal. The hack, according to a now viral article, involves using the hole in your cutting board to funnel chopped veggies into a bowl.

While this trick can technically work with diced veggies and fruits, a LOT of people were left unconvinced.

A handful of people were quick to point out how the holes are too small for a lot of cuts.

While others pointed out the fact that the "hole" in question technically already has a use as a handle.

Even in cases where diced food fits through the handle hole, it still doesn't technically save time.

As with any internet thread full of unimpressed, the Edmonton Journal received a LOT of reaction GIFs expressing people's apathy and disbelief.

The real question left at hand is, what do YOU think?! Is this a palpable life hack, or a big stretch?

Khloé Kardashian needs to take a serious break from social media. Rather, perhaps she just needs a break from talking to anyone in general, or expressing her opinions on anything. Khloé, go back to school and read a book. Do some volunteer work.

First, there was this:

Then, the Wonder Woman of body shaming and eating disorder awareness, Jameela Jamil, hardcore called her out for pedaling meal replacement shakes on Instagram:

It doesn't stop there, though! I'm not really sure why we expect self-awareness and human empathy from a money-hungry plastic family whose fame sky-rocketed from a sex tape and OJ Simpson, but alas, here we are. When a fan of Khloé's tweeted that she was struggling to afford her jeans, Khloé called her hard work "cute."

While the original tweeter wasn't bothered at all by the comment, others were annoyed by the fact that Khloé, who makes more off of one sponsored Instagram post that this woman probably makes in an entire year, would refer to this striking example of income inequality as "cute."

When Kaelynn received a whole box full of clothes, she thanked Khloé:

It is very nice that Khloé (I mean, her entire PR team) sent this young woman free clothes, but this exchange speaks volumes about the way the rich perceive hard working people. Khloé replied:

Most fans stuck by her:

But it didn't solve the problem for everyone:

Regardless of how you feel about Khloé, this is an insanely cute video:

In other news, it appears Khloé is taking a break for awhile:

If you have a high sex drive and a filthy sense of humor, you'll laugh out loud at these raunchy sex memes. Obviously, these memes are NSFW but you don't care about that, do you? You're naughty.

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The labia expert has logged on and naturally, he is a man.

A SHORT man, which is somehow important to his argument.

The random dude decided to unleash his multi-paragraph rage on a Jezebel article called "I Really Want This Fashion Nova Bodysuit That Will Only Cover 15 Percent of My Labia," that brought readers to the attention of this $24.99 pleather slab with a "thong back" that will keep waxing centers in business.

Jezebel's Ashley Reese hilariously roasted this alleged piece of "clothing," writing, "the red Here For Fun Bodysuit (also available in an equally cooch-defying black) may result in a trip to the gynecologist."

The mention of vaginas is like a bat signal for trolls, and one particular guy, username: Bagdash, chimed in with "It seems you need an anatomy lesson." According to this labia expert, the issue with this bodysuit isn't that the vag covering is too small, it's that the writer's labia is too big.

Writer Emily Pratt screenshot the comment, and we're going to have to break it down line by line.

The essay opens with:

It seems you need an anatomy lesson. Labia are not the entirety of the groin. Whereas I can see where you are trying to compensate for the idea that the vagina is the totality of female genital, this is a little beyond what is necessary.

A promising start. He then highlights his vaginal expertise:

Some women have large labia minora, which might not fit in this, but not everything in the word is tailor made to YOUR BODY. You can’t expect for everything to fit you “just right”.

WE'RE ENTERING THE ALL CAPS ZONE, KIDS.

HE'S CALLING FOR ACCEPTANCE FOR THE SMALLER-LABIAED WOMEN.

Women with smaller labia are also just as normal as you are with whatever your labia size is. Whereas I could give a fuck a bout the Kardashians or this company, maybe some of them might like it. I might want to be able to where pants with a 35" inseam, but it will never happen because that’s not my body shape.

Women with big labias are such SNOWFLAKES!

Instead of whining about shit that doesn’t meet your specific needs, why don’t you champion something that does instead.

This shit company, whatever it is, isn’t doing this to spite you, it just doesn’t fit you. So, like any normal, non-armchair social activists, just buy the shit that fits and don’t buy the shit that doesn’t. If this company is really that shit, which I’m sure it is, then let it be on the smaller-labia-ed women to decide if they like it or not.

He's a SHORT MAN, so he knows what it's like to have a big vagina (???).

As a short man, I wouldn’t comment on the designs of a big-and-tall store.

So you have big labia. Great. Keep it to yourself. D0 you want me talking about the size of my dick, big or small? For example, these jeans just wouldn’t be able to handle me.

This isn't just about big labias and small labias. It's about FEMINISM.

It’s not for you, I get it. But who fucking cares really. The size of your labia and what they do or do not fit into is not a topic of conversation any more than you would like to hear about my penis and how it might be chafing from my clothes, which you have every right not to want to hear.

Now to get myself in trouble, a problem with feminism in this sense is that it tries to bring women to the level of men by acting like men. That being said, men acting like men has been the problem. We don’t need women to act like men in all of their bullshit.

It's about traditional gender roles—and women should act like WOMEN, getting back in the kitchen and shutting up about their bottom lips.

Be a woman, not like a man—I think we would agree that what we’ve seen over the past couple thousand years and beyond of recorded history is that men are/can be total shit. Don’t be like us.

And all that being said, yeah, this whatever it is is stupid.

When it comes to labias, unless they're certified gynocologists, men should zip their damn lips.

Sorry Generation Z. Sorry Baby Boomers. You were totally born in the wrong decade. The 90s were the bomb. They were all that and a bag of chips, but don't take my word for it. Here are 19 reasons why the 90s was the best decade to grow up in.

1. Man buns were not a thing. Hot guys all rocked this style instead.

2. MTV actually showed Music Videos.

3.

Our phones didn't run out of batteries.

4. Once upon a time, there were these things called CDs and they were sold at music stores in the mall. It was the bomb.

5. Ryan Gosling danced! Sure he can act, but I think we all know where his real talent lies.

6. If you wanted to orgasm all you had to do was shampoo. (Pretty sure this is the first time anyone heard the word "organic.")

7. You never had to hear anyone bragging about being on the Keto diet.

8. This was the only thing you had to cry about.

9. Saturday Night Live was actually hilarious.

10. No one had ever heard of CrossFit.

11. You could go stargazing literally every single night.

12. There were new episodes of Seinfeld every week.

13. You got free pizza just for reading.

14. Sorry, but 90s music was just so much better than today's crap. Nirvana, Biggie, and of course this Vanilla Ice Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Rap.

15. I've got 3 words for you... Saturday. Morning. Cartoons.

16. Watching TGIF on Friday nights with your friends was the shit. This Full House/Steve Urkel Crossover is as epic as it gets.

17. Fashion, fashion, fashion, and fashion. Please take me back to when guys knew how to accessorize.

18. Prank calls. Kids who grew up with caller ID will never understand the hilarity.

19. Our biggest problems really weren't that big.

We all know the scene in porn, a pizza delivery driver arrives to a gorgeous woman who swiftly seduces him. Or conversely, a pizza delivery driver in a comedy arrives to find themselves thrust into the world of Spaceballs or Do the Right Thing and all that entails.

For the most part, delivering pizza isn't all that eventful. You deal with some good tippers, some bad tippers, some stoners, and some lovers, but it usually amounts to a run-of-the-mill customer service gig.

However, when delivering pizzas gets wild, it TRULY gets wild, as exemplified in a recent Reddit thread where pizza delivery drivers shared the craziest scenes they've walked into.

1. AmishHoeFights delivered to children from hell.

"I was delivering chicken (KFC) not pizza, but my worst stop was pathetic, really. I knock on the door, I hear a kid yell "I GOT IT", he opens the door, and runs up the stairs yelling to his friends "The chicken asshole's here! The chicken asshole's here!!", after which a crowd of about 8 pre-teens at the top of the stairs start throwing change down the stairs at me to pay for the delivery."

"I asked if they could hand me the money, they laugh and just throw the quarters/dimes/etc. harder."

"So I picked up the bag of food, winged it up the stairs at them, it hit the wall, and I split. Told the boss what happened and if they call to complain I won't listen or apologize; I'll just quit if he brings it up. I found out later he did get a call and told them to get stuffed.

Good boss."

2. johnboy2978's delivery was intercepted by a SWAT team.

"So while I was in under grad, I worked as a pizza delivery driver. I had a delivery to a dodgy part of town with a delicious pie. When I got within a couple miles of the residence, a local sheriff's deputy got in front of me. We made all the same turns. Then as we got closer, another got in front of him and one behind me. I start freaking out a bit as I'd been smoking some weed, but carry on."

"Finally, we all get to the same residence which is totally surrounded by police in riot gear, guns drawn, all that shit. I get out with my pizza and discover the house I'm supposed to deliver to is the one with SWAT out in front. One of the officers waves me off and says, "he's not gonna need that today" and they proceed to breach the door, to which I return to the car with a free pizza and get the hell outta there."

"They were added to our "Do not deliver" list but I don't think we ever heard from them again."

3. crazydaisy8134 also found themselves driving into a crime scene.

"I drove to the customer’s house and saw that a guy was being handcuffed by the police in the front yard. I had no idea what to do so I drove around a neighboring block a few times. When I came back, the police and handcuffed guy were gone. I didn’t know if he was the customer or not so I just walked up to the door and knocked. An old couple answered and took the pizza and paid and didn’t say anything about the arrest that happened on their lawn. It was in a city with extremely low crime rate as well so it was very strange to 17-year-old me."

4. BeigePhD delivered a pizza to an armed man in a field.

"One night I have a delivery to a pretty rural area. A lot of my deliveries are to rural areas, so no big deal. But tonight it's drizzling and especially dark, so I'm having trouble finding the address of the house I'm looking for. So I roll down the passenger window and use my (really fucking bright) flashlight, pointing it at mailboxes/trees/posts/ anything that somebody might have their address on at the end of their driveway. So I'm driving along at like five miles an hour pointing my flashlight when the beam catches a guy wearing a black hoodie at the end of an obviously long gravel road staring directly. At. Me. More of a glare at me, really. But whatever, could just be on the phone or something. Then it gets weirder. I finally find the address I'm looking for and pull into the drive, and hop out of the car. That's when I get the sinking feeling."

"No cars, no house light, boarded up windows. If you've ever been a delivery person, you know that this is the time to gtfo of there because you're about to get robbed. Right as I'm about to jump in, throw the car into reverse and nope the fuck out of there, I see a man walking across the empty field adjacent to the property towards me. Fuck. Now I'm a pretty burly, bearded dude, so I don't worry a whole lot on deliveries, but this scared the shit out of me."

"When he gets closer, I see him very obviously tucking something into his waistband, what I can only assume was a gun. He then says in a thick, menacing southern accent "I thought you was the law" (I guess because of how I was scanning the addresses). I meekly point to my car topper and the pizza in my hand and he says in the nicest voice you've ever heard "Oh, great! Thank you so much! Have a great night!" Pays me, and proceeds to walk back through the open field, in the direction of no buildings, in the rain, with his pizza. For the rest if my shift I couldn't stop whispering "What. The. Fuck." Strangest thing that's ever happened to me.

5. MYTHISTMUSIC has delivered to a lot of hoarders.

"Every Hoarder House I ever delivered to. Honestly, I feel for those folks, there’s usually a mental issue that starts it. Sometimes it’s just learned behavior, either way it’s still just sad to me."

6. Alchemic_Art barely escaped a shady set up.

"I didn’t end up delivering the pizza but the address was an abandoned house.. it was around dusk and the house was so obviously uninhabited, I could see trees growing through the windows and the backside of the house was crumbling so badly I could see to the backyard... from the street. "

"The instructions were to “come around back”. I double checked the address after locking my doors called the customer a couple of times, called the store and told em what was up and why I wasn’t delivering the pizza and headed out.. I mean seriously who would have been dumb enough to go to the back of that house?"

7. CallHimIshmael delivered to a man living under his porch.

"I once delivered to a guy living under his porch if that counts. I drove up to the house. Its pitch black. No lights on. I look at the ticket and it says "use back door." I go up the steps and no lights on. Nothing. Then I hear a voice from below me say, "hey down here."

"I look under the porch and there's a small door leading into what looked like a makeshift apartment. I had to actually crouch to get to it. Gave the guy the pizza and bounced the fuck out of there."

8. BrianNotBrad ran into an old classmate in an extremely bizarre scenario.

"First time to a huge mansion that was renowned for big tips, where you had to go around the back to a gate leading to the pool patio. Guy who answered the gate doorbell (!) had been disfigured in some horrible accident. He had me wait while he got his wallet, so I got a good dose of the backyard where a raging party was going on. Coke being snorted, craziness in the pool, booze bottles everywhere, and it was like midday on a Wednesday."

"Guy finally comes back, addresses me by name (no name tag) and says “you don’t remember me, do you?” Knowing that I’d remember those injuries, I realized he must know me from before he got hurt, and I stammered out a weak “no, I don’t?” His response blew me away - he recalled being in first grade with me at a local Catholic school I attended for one year. Then, he went on to detail everything about class that year, the people, teachers, activities and that his accident had happened during the following summer - he’d gone through a windshield in a head-on with a semi."

"I delivered there a few more times, and hung out chatting with him as long as I could. It slowly became clear that the party crowd was just using him for his money. That was fucked up enough, but what I also eventually realized was that he was stuck in that last normal year he’d lived and, 20 years later, had moved back (IIRC, he’d moved away because his parents died or were severely injured in the accident) as soon as he was old enough to access the accident settlement. And the money was going up that crowd’s nose pretty fast."

"I had no idea how to help him or even if he wanted help, and eventually started letting other drivers take that run. Never saw him again, even though it’s a small town. Eventually he stopped ordering pizza and then I left for a job elsewhere, but would pass by his house when visiting while my parents still lived there. Fewer and fewer cars were parked out front every time I went by, and the house slowly became overgrown with ivy. Fucked up."

9. nerdyhoe delivered pizza to a funeral.

"Someone ordered pizzas to a funeral. There were A TON of people there, all somber and dressed in black while I rolled up in my bright red greasy T-shirt lol. Definitely one of the most awkward experiences I've had."

10. Mrs0Murder's husband delivered to a dead person.

"You just reminded me- my husband delivered to an older woman who ended up dying during the time it took for him to get there after she placed the call (~20 mins). He said he showed up as they were loading her up into an ambulance (I think) and that the family was standing around watching and he didn't know what to do so he gave it to one of the family members (who paid for it) and left."

11. Ayjia feared for her life on one delivery route.

"Drove for a bit when things were rough. Day driving on weekdays meant there were only two of us, and we got mostly the business park lunches and the SAHM pool parties (and the latchkey kids after school snacks). There was some interesting stuff we ran into - brothels ran out of apartments, drug dens out of high end hotels...but for the most part it was seniors answering the door in boxers or tossing flyers on doors or dealing with snotty brats."

"There was this one house, though, that made my heart stop everytime it came up, which was thankfully rare. Call it instinct or energy or whatever, I hated that house. And because there was only two of us, and I was 20 years younger than the other guy, it was usually me."

"It was the only house on a single lane road. To give you an idea of the dissonance here, the major road this little road was off of housed a new McMansion development within one mile, and a sleepy little 1950 style cookie cutter suburbia development a mile in the other direction. It'd be real easy to mistake this road for an access road, especially with how heavily overgrown that area had become."

"Once you got on this little road, the first twenty feet or so seemed absolutely normal. It's after you turned the bend and the road turn to gravel that things went batshit. We're talking the road lined with construction worker and Smokey the Bear cutouts wrapped in barbed wire and holding model rifles. Naked store mannequins covered in paintball splatter with BB guns tied to their hands and pointed at the road. Signs every five or ten feet "NO TRESPASSING" "PRIVATE PROPERTY" "CCTV RECORDING IN PROGRESS" "YOU ARE BEING WATCHED" (no shit sherlock, you aren't hiding the cameras). This continued for the next mile, while I wondered if I should be calling my fiance and telling him I loved him, grateful that it was bright and sunny out."

"So I get to the gate, and call the customer (which was the most normal part of this), tell him I'm outside, only be told to not approach the house under any circumstances and do not leave the vicinity of my car. I Okay, dude. You know what? I'm intimidated. I'm a 24 year old woman a mile into the woods at some psychos house-fort with crap reception on my phone just trying to deliver a pizza. So, I get out of my car, take out the pizza bag, and lean against the side of my car and hope that I'm not making the nightly news."

"Out walks a guy who, I shit you not, is dressed like he walked off a MIB filmset, takes his pizza and wings, tips me 5 dollars, and instructs me how to turn my car around.

Would rather take the strippers 100 times over that house."

12. Lozzif quit delivering after their traumatizing experience.

"The one where they tried to pull me in the house. Not coincidently the last delivery I ever made."

13. Noite_Etion was accidentally given free hard drugs.

"I delivered to a drug house a few times, its was always obvious that these guys were selling/using, but it never bothered me as they usually tipped well."

"This one time i got there, rang the bell and a baggy of (I'm guessing coke or heroin, I have no idea) slipped under the door... Not sure what to do I decided to kick it back under the door and leave.

Not super fucked up, but I think about it a lot."

14. tacobellquesaritos has a few stories to boot.

"Extremely large man naked on his bed telling me to come in. i yelled that i wouldn’t like to do that and he replied “oh it’s a girl, why’d they send a girl” as if we knew the situation there...."

"Delivered to a trucker in his rig. berated me for having a single nose piercing and colored hair because he had a son “with all them piercings” and all he does is drugs now. then the man texted me “can i ask you a silly question” (i had called him to find his specific rig for the delivery). i ignored and blocked him and he called the store asking for me specially to return and bring him a specific sauce packet...... my manager said no and had me stay in the store with the crew until it was time to leave."

"One woman answered the door in a thong and asked where another delivery driver was. told her he wasn’t working. she replied “well he knows to always do mine for me”. again tried to explain that he was not present in the store that day. later found out he was dealing while delivering."

15. ttttttodayjr delivered to a swinger's party.

"I worked as a delivery driver for a very small Italian restaurant / pizzeria during my first semester of college. This one time I delivered pizza to a swingers party. It wasnt like on the set of a porno or anything he straight up told me when I was like "having a party?" Because he ordered 12 pizzas. He answered that this was his first swingers party and he just wanted to be sure everyone was having a good time."

16. Imtooshorttodunk almost got sick from one delivery.

"GPS led me to my citys hospital. After getting directions from alot of employees I finally found the room. I'll admit now, I reallllly should've paid more attention to the signs but was in rush and didn't bother. Luckily there was a nurse already in this lady's room. I was was just going to walk in and drop food off when the nurse starts shaking her hands and rushes to me. "No, no, no, you can't come in here. This is isolation"

"Oh I'm sorry, she ordered a delivery"

"She went back in the room and asked the lady if she ordered delivery and I heard the lady say yes. I overheard the nurse tell her "You should've told me."

Nurse comes back to me to grab food and told me if I had walked in the room I was not be let back out or something along those lines. Threw me for a loop haha, I will pay more attention now. I promise."

17. SlytherinAhri had a client who thought it was the 1940s.

"I delivered subs, but one of our regular clients was an old lady in a nursing home who thought it was 1940s or something."

"She was super nice, but nobody would deliver to her because she would only tip you like 25 cents because again, she was living way in the past. But I loved to sit and talk with her so I always volunteered to do it. Sometimes the nurses would pay the tip if they saw me but usually I only got a quarter."

"Her delusional state was heartbreaking, she was completely lucid aside from not realizing what year it was."

18. Spacelord_MothaMotha got a taste of the town.

"Used to deliver part time in a not so nice part of town. Used to do a regular delivery to an adult book store, my 18 year old mind was blown the first time I went in & saw all the sex toys & shit hanging on the walls. Another time I delivered to a room at a hot sheet motel. Dude opened the door & while he was counting out the money I saw a naked hooker sit up in the bed behind him."

19. fuchur7 had a very drunk regular.

"We had this old lady ordering everyday some alibiish chicken wings and 2 bottles of wine , sometimes twice a day. she stopped ordering 5 months ago and we drove by her Appartment and apparently shes not living there anymore, hope in therapy and not because shes dead. Her place wasnt that fucked up, but the smell of our wings still remind me of this sad human drinking Herself to death slowly."

20. deldertime had some very seedy regulars.

"I have two. We had a regular that was saved in the computer as mike from around the corner. Whenever I delivered he was super fucked up. On more than one occasion I had to let myself in because he was playing his drum set with his headphones on or completely fucked up on booze or drugs. One time he was passed out and drooling on the coffee table. Called the cops but he was ok. I saw him a year later at his day job and he didn’t even know who I was. Was never sober when we delivered."

"The other one was a nazi house in Huntington Beach. Big four bedroom and the place was always crawling with white supremacists. Always answered the door without shirts and displaying tattoos. Always a style. They wouldn’t tip unless you were white."

21. redsoxnets5 has met the good and the bad.

"Idk if this counts as fucked up but it always makes me laugh when I think back to it. I delivered pizza to a house where an older guy walks out in a robe sorta mumbling, I hand him the food he hands me a 20, I tell him it's 24. He mumbles ok and waddles back into the house, comes back and hands me another 20. I go to my pocket to get change and he slams the door on me."

"I also once delivered to an older woman who tells me to come in the side door. The food is about $34 and she hands me what I think is 40 and is really sweet, asking me how I'm doing and all that. I get back into my car and realize it's actually $60 and 2 of the 20s were sorta stuck together. I go back into her house to let her know and she says "oh I know, it's for gas and whatever else you might need." I always remember that lady because it was just such a random nice thing to do and really made my day."

22. wuapinmon met a real life Chuck Norris.

"At the mouth of Provo Canyon on the way down from Sundance and Heber City, UT, there was a compound that housed a school for teenagers who rebelled. We're talking kids that screwed up and their Mormon parents sent them from all over the country to this hard-nosed place to "fix" them."

"I'd have to deliver there about once a month. Parents would feel guilty and send their kid a pizza, paid for with a credit card. The kids, hating their parents, would often put like a $50 tip onto a $15 pizza (this was from 1997-2002 when I worked there). After a while, the store manager made it a rule that any tip had to be okayed by the parents placing the order, because he'd gotten too many irate parents about their kids' smart-ass tip amounts."

"Anyhow, you had to get buzzed into the main room through this set of double security doors. The guys that worked there were all like 6'2" and 250 and ripped. One time, I go in with like 10 pizzas for the entire group, and one of the guys says, "ALL OF YOU GET BACK AWAY FROM THE DOOR!" He looks at me and tells me to move toward the door."

"The hair on the back of my neck stands up. All of a sudden, like three of the kids attack this dude, and they screwed up. This dude was some kind of Chuck Norris prodigy. They took swings at him with objects from the room (like chairs) and he just blocked them with his arms until he could punch back, and he dropped all three of them with shots to the chest, hitting them so hard that they couldn't breathe anymore."

I stood there and blinked while he restored calm, telling them, "We didn't need this, guys" and "I don't like doing this, but you attacked me. I'm here to help you, but if you use violence to get what you want, you'll have a very tough time here. I'm choosing to not call the police over this." I got out of there as fast as I could.

Anyway, the place was fucked up because of the violence and the whole concept of private jails for kids."