The war between Jameela Jamil and the Kardashian family may have reached an ever-so-brief moment of peace?

In case you're behind, Jameela Jamil of "The Good Place" has called the Kardashian women "double agents of the patriarchy" for posting sponsored content to their Instagram that fuels eating disorders in young and vulnerable teenage girls and women. Kim has tried to get her followers to buy "appetite suppressing lollipops" (what even?):

While Khloé got burned for these meal replacement shakes:

After Jameela brutally called them out, Kim defended their sponsored posts in a New York Times interview by saying, "If there is work that is really easy that doesn’t take away from our kids, that’s like a huge priority, if someone was faced with the same job opportunities, I think they would maybe consider. You’re going to get backlash for almost everything so as long as you like it or believe in it or it’s worth it financially, whatever your decision may be, as long as you’re O.K. with that." Yeah, as long as your O.K. with telling girls to eat a lollipop instead of food because hunger is evil and being thin is more important than being healthy? Whatever, Kim.

When Jameela noticed that Khloé deleted her "flat tummy" post, she saw it as a sign of progress:

Fans thanked her:

However, others pointed out the fact that she probably was paid to have the post on her profile for a certain period of time, after which she was allowed to delete it.

Even if she did delete it because she already got her paycheck, we can still hope this experience will prevent her from posting them again. Kardashian women, if you're listening, you're already richer than the vast majority of this country. Nobody feels bad for you. Nobody believes you're posting this garbage "for your kids." It's okay to say no to easy money in the name of protecting the health and body image of women. Please wake up!

Parenting is the toughest job out there, so it comes as no surprise that it's easy to make mistakes when on the clock. Nobody can be a perfect parent, no matter how hard we try. Plus, with the amount of sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes with being a parent, it's impossible not to fuck up now and again.

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Reddit user jonseh prompted a thread about the worst mistakes parents have made. Turns out accidentally leaving your kid at the store is actually pretty common. Here are eleven that caught our attention.

1. The Full Scorpion by Whodat512

Put my son, who was about 8 months old at the time, onto our changing table that is about waist high and turned around to grab more diapers. Terrible decision.

Caught him rolling off the table out of the corner of my eye but it was too late...he fell 3 feet, landed directly on his face and did a full scorpion. He’s never cried so hard in his life before or after. I held him and just started crying because I felt so guilty hurting him like that.

2. There Are Bugs in Your Head by fitcht3ll2

3 year old woke up in the middle of the night and came to tell me she had a bad dream. I walked her back to her room and talked to her about her dream. She said she was dreaming there were bugs crawling on the walls and in her bed. I told her that it was just a dream and the bugs only existed in her head.

She didn't get back to sleep for a LONG time after being told she had bugs in her head.

3. The Incident by Alduwin123

Neither of my parents have Reddit but they have told me this has been their biggest mistake with me of all time. I was a kid about 14 and I was riding my bike in the front yard. Anyway, I end up falling over onto the ground on my bike while standing up and not moving. Long story short it feels like I've just been drop kicked in my balls. So I head inside and lay on the couch in pain for a while. Ask my parents to take me to the hospital and they refused. Told me I was just being a baby and that the pain would go away. About an hour and a half later and many tears they finally agree to take me in. Turns out I had given myself a testicular torsion and the lack of blood to that area of my body meant I was going into emergency surgery. I lost a testicle the same day less then ten minutes later. Never forgave them for it.

4. The Shove Catastrophe by TechyDad

My worst parenting mistake involved a trip to the ER. It was about 8 years ago in December. It was my wife's birthday, but we weren't going anywhere because a huge snowstorm had hit our area. No problem, though, I would do all the shoveling. Can't have her shoveling on her birthday. My son (then about 7 or 8) came out with me to help shovel. We're doing a good job and clearing off the snow when IT happened.

As I was bringing my shovel up, my son bent down to pick up more snow. I hit his head with the corner of my shovel. The very sharp corner. He shrieked and held his eye. I suddenly worried that I put my son's eye out. Well, I didn't, but I did get him right above his eyebrow and he was bleeding a lot. His coat was getting covered in blood.

We went in and couldn't stop the bleeding well so I put my son in the car, stopped by my in-laws' house (less than a mile away) to pick up my mother-in-law (my wife stayed home with our younger son who was a toddler then), and drove to the ER in the blizzard.

They were great and "glued" my son's wound shut. (A special glue that they can use instead of stitches.) He was fine, but I felt like the worst dad in the world. His coat was a loss and I ruined my wife's birthday. Plus, to this day, you can see an indentation where I hit my son in the head with a shovel.

5. The Ted Cruz Debaucle by thatnatebitch

My son is a freshman in college and I thought I covered all my bases but I realized during Thanksgiving that I never taught him how to shave. I probably forgot because I have a beard so I don’t really shave all that often, but he definitely is not ready to sport one as well. When he walked in the door, my wife asked me why our son looked like Ted Cruz.

6. The Pill Popper by jason28

Not locking up pills. My daughter was maybe two on a camping trip. We had one of those M-F pill holders with some anti anxiety medicine in it. She got into it while we were unloading the minivan. We noticed some of the pills were missing. We’re almost to the ER, and we noticed them laying on the floor bed. Kids will find anything unless a parent asks them.

7. The Dude, Where's Our Son??? by rapidnash

Oh man, one time my wife and I took our son on a trip to the harbor since he was now old enough to go with us on these trips. After a fun-filled day we were driving back home and my wife glanced in the backseat and goes “where’s our son?” I guess we were not used to having a 3rd person with us when we went out so that’s the story of how we almost forgot our child.

8. The Shed is On Fire by cardboardshrimp

I love listening to music in the car and some of the music obviously features some naughty or dubious words. When I had my young son in the car I would always skip certain songs but occasionally one slipped through the net.

Cue Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon. He got home one day and parroted parts of the song and I was desperately trying to distract him so he would forget it but he didn’t.

I had the bright idea of trying to get him to change the word to something else. He was still in the early speaking stage so everything sounded slightly garbled. Anyway I had success with the word ‘Shed’

For about a day or so he then just wandered around singing about how his shed was on fire. Then he forgot and moved on to something else and my mortal fear of him saying it at childcare subsided. I have not played that song in my car since and it has been many years.

9. The Butt Problem by mightyslash

My oldest is about to be 5 years old so I still have time for major mistakes but right now would be accidentally making my son dependent on me or my wife wiping his butt after a poo. He will do it himself at school but apparently at home it has to be someone else...this has led to some fun standoffs of us yelling that he can sit there until he wipes his butt.

10. The Forgotten by captain_shield

I have two kids. One is almost 2, and the other was born at the start of February. A few days ago I put the older child in bed while my fiancee put the new baby to sleep. She then went to take a shower while I was watching tv (mostly screwing around online with the TV making noise in 5he background). A few minutes later I heard a baby crying, and assumed it was the tv. Then noticed a baby crying didn't fit with what was happening on TV. As I was wondering where the sound was coming from, I noticed it was too young sounding to be our two year old, so I thought maybe the TV was on in another room, and ignored it for a couple more minutes. Then I finally remembered that we have two kids now. For a few minutes I completely forgot one of my children existed

11. The Shitty Mistake by chocolatespoonz

I left my 16 month alone with my newborn for like 5 minutes.

She covered her in shit. Head to toe shit.

Sure, we all know that comas are a thing that can happen to anyone, but most of us have no idea what it's like to actually be in one. Does your light flash before your eyes? Where does your mind go? Do you see the so called "light" at the end of the tunnel? How do you poop???

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Luckily, someone on Reddit had the same curiosity as me and asked people to share stories of their experiences from when they were in a coma. The answers are pretty wild and interesting, to say the least. Life is crazy, man. Here are eleven that stopped us in our tracks. Prepare to get emotional about the miracle of life.

1. Fbriorprincess

About 3 years ago I overdosed on sleeping pills and it caused me to go into a coma. I remember a lot of what my family said but one thing stood out, my dads voice. I remember him saying “I love you and I know you miss your mom and brother but I still need you”. I was in that damn coma for a month and I woke up five minutes after he said that. I couldn’t speak because I had tubes down my throat and I was non verbal for a while after because the pills messed up my brain, I don’t know how I remembered but I remembered the slang sign for I love you. I still struggle with suicide but any time I think about it I remember what my dad said and I try to do the opposite of what I was going to do.

2. chazzybeats

I had a seizure and was in a medically induced coma for 3 days when I was 17. To be honest I don’t remember anything. I remember fading in and out of the anesthesia trying to pull my breathing tube out and and that my hands were restrained to the bed so I couldn’t. When I woke up and was coherent I couldn’t recall anything from actually being in the coma. They had even moved me to a hospital over 100 miles away. It was really just nothing but black. No dreams, no lights, no voices, just nothing.

3. heyrainyday

Dunno. I was in a coma for 11 days, severe brain injury. I don’t remember being in a coma or waking up from a coma. I lost several years of memories prior to the coma, and my brain didn’t really start to “retain” information again until ~6 weeks after I came out of the coma.

I’m told that my personality changed afterwards. I had to rebuild most areas of my life. It sucked, but it was probably a good thing.

Although I’d be lying if I said I never wondered what my life would be like if I’d never had the coma.

4. talkingshrimp

When I was a kid, my best friend got hit by a car at age 12. She was in a coma for I think a little over a year. She said she felt like she was asleep but was most freaked out when she woke up and saw that she had gone through puberty while in the coma.

5. mortalcoil1

My girlfriend of 6 years and sort of fiance was in a severe car crash when she was 16. Both of her best friends died instantly. She was the only survivor but they didn't think she would make it. She was in a coma for 9 months. She was in what is called a waking coma. She retained normal periods of sleep and open eyed wakefulness, but no higher brain functions.

Here are some things about her experience.

She doesn't have any memories of the year prior or the year and a halfish after her coma and obviously no memories of the car crash.

She suffered a TBI and when she first got out of the coma she would get naked and sexual with people and anger very easily. These are common problems of people who suffer a TBI.

She went back to school after the coma, but her brain was still healing a lot. She was held back another year because her brain was still not retaining anything.

Today she is a wonderful, bright 30 year old with a college degree. She has a slight speech impediment, gets frustrated easier than most, and it took her a while to get driving down. Honestly, she still scares the hell out of me when she drives, but there are worse drivers out there.

6. croatianscentsation

After being in a really bad accident that left one of my good friends (the driver) brain dead, they put me into a chemically induced coma for under a week to prevent brain damage due to swelling.

When I first woke up, my memory was much better than it was as it gradually faded in the days to come. I have a journal my mother recorded things in, and I recalled many things I shouldn’t have been able to immediately after waking up. Today, I have very little memory of it all, but I can definitely say that having positive people around you definitely helps when you’re in a situation like that.

If you have a friend in this situation, don’t disregard them. Even though your life has moved on, they may wake up one day, and in their mind, not a day has passed since the last conversation they had with you.

7. Chodicus90

I was in a medically induced coma following a self-inflicted gunshot wound. I don't remember much but my family described moments of me appearing to be awake. Most notable, an apparent attempt at humor. Apparently they put these mits on my hands to prevent me from ripping my ventilation tubes out over and over but I pretended they were my lobster claws. I have no recollection but it's a real me move.

8. Hashedgaming

I was put in an induced coma when I was 9 years old after a pretty bad car accident which left me with a fractured skull. All I remember is a bad dream about having a bad headache, and hearing my older sister telling everyone, including my parents, to get the fuck out of her way because she wanted to see me. I found out later that this was on the night it happened, and they were trying to calm her down before she saw me.

9. Lonelyeess

I was in a coma for three days after an emergency C-Section (thanks eclampsia). They actually lost me for a couple of minutes after they delivered my twin boys. I remember hearing the sound of my dad crying close by. I could hear people talking around me, but any time I would try to focus on what I thought I was seeing it was like looking in a kaleidoscope.

10. senorcoach

Ooh I can answer this one! I was in a medically induced coma for two weeks, about 3 months ago. I had open heart surgery, it didn't go well, had trouble coming off the ventilator so they just put me in a come to try to give me time to heal.

I had nightmares the entire time from the medicine they were using to knock me out. I thought I had been kidnapped by a nurse and was a victim of sex trafficking. I thought my drug addict aunt had her friends rob my sister and her husband, killing my brother-in-law and one of their children, and I thought I was constantly being grabbed by people under my bed. It was not fun.

I can't say that I knew I was in a coma or anything. I am usually one of those people that when I have a bad dream, I can tell myself it is just a dream and wake myself up in order to end it. This was not like that. I was convinced it was all really happening.

11. nrrhoad

A few years ago my dad was in a medically induced coma for about 2 weeks. Everyone thought he was completely unconscious the whole time until he woke up and started mentioning conversations people had around him while he was under, this even surprised the doctors.

He said that from his perspective it was like he was asleep most the time but he would occasionally “wake up” and could hear what was going on around him without being able to move or do anything before he would eventually drift back to sleep.

12. iwillcorrectyou

I was in a coma for about two weeks following a cardiac arrest as a teen. I was technically dead for over an hour, in fact. People often ask me if I could hear my family talking to me or if I was dreaming. The answer is "No."

There is a huge hole in my memory beginning about two weeks before the coma through a week after "waking up." And waking up is in quotes because I would wake up, ask a bunch of semi-incoherent questions, fall back under, then wake up again and ask the exact same questions, in the exact same order. Repeat six or seven times.

The coma was not even blackness. It just does not exist. I remember having the hardest time believing it was actually mid-October when the last day I remembered was late-September.

If your ex is a piece of garbage you're not alone. We've all dated some huge losers. These hilariously savage memes totally nail what it's like to seriously hate your ex.

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Stereotypes, when mixed with unchecked power and terrifying political policies can result in the perpetuation of horrible injustices. But unpacking silly, harmless, and oddly specific stereotypes can open up hilarious conversations about cultural norms across different demographics.

Of course, it's easier to grasp the concept of opening up conversations about racial stereotypes that aren't cringe inducing than it is to facilitate one. Nonetheless, if you punch up and everyone keeps a modicum of humor and courtesy, it IS possible.

A recent resurfaced thread posted on the Afrocentric Films Collaborative Facebook page managed to be refreshingly funny and straightforward about stereotypes. The key, in this case, was to point the question marks towards white people.

The thread's prompt urged black people to ask white people the questions they "always wanted to know," the it rapidly filled up with playful exchanges.

Some of the questions challenged the realities of (primarily) white televison shows.

The classic questions of white people's relationship with washcloths came into play.

There were more than a few people inquiring about the perpetual blandness of white people's food.

White people in the thread jumped into roast themselves in the process of answering the questions.

More specifically, inquiring minds wanted to know why white people's casseroles are so bad.

The origin behind the much discussed "white people smirk" was revealed.

Naturally, the thread also addressed the ways white people interact with extended family.

Even the issue of wearing shorts in the winter came up.

Natrually, there were trolls and angry peoples, as with any Facebook thread addressing race on any level. But by and large the people participating had fun and remained respectful to each other, which is honestly a rarity.

Unclear what former House Speaker/current human ball-sack Paul Ryan hoped to achieve by revealing on Tuesday that Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez ignored his “few little tips” on how to be “a good member of Congress." Maybe he thought she'd slide into his DM's, like "Hi Mr. Ryan! I'm soooooo sorry about before. Please, sir, can I have some more advice on how to do politics right???"

“I talked to her, AOC, everybody calls her AOC. She’s the youngest person now there and I gave her just a few little tips on just being a good member of Congress, new,” Ryan reportedly said during a dinner in Janesville, Wisconsin, on Tuesday. “I don’t think she really listened to a thing I said,” Ryan added, reportedly, "with a laugh." He said had advised Ocasio-Cortez to “take it easy, just watch things for a while, don’t ruffle, you know, see how it works first.”

ICYMI: "taking it easy" is not exactly in Ocasio-Cortez's wheelhouse. When she's not championing the Green New Deal, grilling Michael Cohen during a Senate hearing, and trying to save the world from Republicans in Congress, she's being an absolute beast on Twitter. "Ruffling feathers" seems to be her MO and she's slaying at it. "AOC's" response to Ryan's revelation that she ignored his advice was simply, and beautifully, to retweet this:

Beyond that, she didn't waste her time. She's got shit to do. Thankfully, the rest of Twitter was fully available to step in to and gleefully drag Ryan to the fiery Hell from whence he sprung:

This is a particularly empowering moment for women who have been subjected to the never-ending nightmare of men telling us how to do our jobs better.

But: IN PAUL RYAN'S DEFENSE, we all do need life advice. Here's some to live by:

Thanks Paul Ryan!!!!!!!

Children are endlessly curious and generally have no filter, which means they can simultaneously make the cutest and most cringe inducing observations. When kids come across people who look or dress different than them, it's not uncommon for them to stare or loudly ask questions, which can create uncomfortable situations for all involved. For this reason, many parents understandably instruct their kids to not stare at people in public.

While staring at strangers can bee deeply rude, particularly if their perceived differences are prompting the stares, the alternative of ignoring disabled or different-bodied people in public can be just as dehumanizing.

In a viral Facebook post, the mom Jenna Gines shared a picture of her two adorable sons, and broke down why she thinks it's important to allow kids their public curiosity, even if it initially comes in the form of a stare.

While obviously, by itself can be rude, she said engaging the child in their questions and teaching them to be friendly and start conversations with people who seem different is far healthier in the long run than teaching them to ignore people.

She wrote:

Please stop teaching your children not to stare!
🛑
What are we teaching them when we say that? Don’t look at someone that is different then you. Don’t be curious or want to learn about something you’ve never seen before. Stay away from things that are different.

"Instead, let them stare. Let them ask questions, talk about it. What is it that they see? What is it that they’re curious about? What is different? What is the same?

If it’s someone using a wheelchair, say hi. If it’s someone that looks or acts different, say hi. If it’s someone of short stature, say hi."

"Teach your child about differences. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to notice it & to talk about it. It’s even better to make a new friend. It’s not okay to ignore, look away, or act like a person who is different isn’t there.
💛
Let’s embrace different. Let’s talk about differences & be the change we want to see in this world."

A lot of people chimed in on the thread with vastly different opinions. Many of them loved Gines' general sentiment about educating children and familiarizing them with differences.

In fact, a large handful of parents shared anecdotes of facilitating conversations between their children and strangers. In many cases, the line between a child being rude and sweet starts and ends with hello.

Still, it's important to teach children the difference between looking and staring. It's also key to not expect disabled people to always be emotionally prepared to teach children about their lived reality, as that expectation in itself can be demoralizing.

A few people broke down the difference between allowing children to stare, and teaching them how to translate that curiosity into friendliness, which is the ultimate point of the post.

Managing the unbridled questions of children can be a complicated process, particularly in public, but there are ways to do it that encourage empathy and acceptance, which is always needed.

Dogs are perfect. We really don't deserve these amazing creatures in our lives, but hey, I'm not complaining. Whether you have a fur baby of your own or just stalk puppers on Instagram, these dog memes will make your day.

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We may be tricked into thinking that adults call the shots, but anyone whose ever been stuck on a plane knows firsthand that babies run the world. Babies, with their tiny squishy bodies and wild incompetence have the ability to make or break a scene with a swiftness few grown people can achieve only using their mouth.

Their screams are more powerful than the most complex sound systems, and their tiny fingers routinely fascinate more people than a well-spun M. Night Shamalayan plot. So, honestly, it's high time these tiny powerhouses were taken down a notch by some good old fashioned roasting.

In a hilarious yet wholesome viral thread, the Twitter user Charlily asked her followers to join in a roast of newborns, and people came in hot with the baby burns.

While the baby disses are still pumping out at an alarming rate, here are 45 tweets that truly put the tiny overlords in their place.

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It's amazing men and women have lasted this long on the planet together.

While dating has always been rough, now it's even more complicated with apps, texting, social media stalking and the stress of constant communication. Do you wait three days before texting back or do you do what you want and trust that if someone is into you, they'll respond immediately? Does the man pay on the first date or is that offensive because chivalry is dead? If you split the check does that make it less romantic? Everyone is confused, there are a lot of rules and the points don't matter.

So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "what are some things guys think are cool but are really a turn off?" the internet was ready to complain. Give it up to the multiple people on this thread complaining about the "mixing bowl 'Saturday Night Fever' hip circle 'Dirty dancing' roundabout" move that men do during sex. Nobody knows where it came from, but it needs to stop.

1. For real, "M_Ad."

Trying to hit on a woman by telling her how unattractive you find other types of women (i.e. telling a bigger woman how ugly you think skinny women are or vice versa).

2. Um, What? "PlatinumBananya."

I had a boyfriend once tell me how he had sex at an early age (like 12), and in a very "aren't you impressed?" sort of fashion. I thought it was a little gross, and asked how he got into the situation. He then told me that it was a party or some sort of get together, and he had sex with a girl he thought that was cute, and it turned out to be his cousin.

We broke up soon after, and I haven't talked to him in years.

3. Yup, "BeeRandi1o3."

Bragging about fights or going to jail. Literally no one cares.

4. Kindness is key, "electric29."

Being mean to people. Some guys think they have to be mean to be manly. Give me a kind one any day.

5. A+, "Orange_Paisley."

Bragging about your sex life. I don't want to know how many girls want you. It literally does nothing for me except think you maybe are kinda a tool to girls.​​​​​​​

6. For sure, "Hikaru_dreav

Showing people intimate photos you received from girls who trusted you. It’s cheap and despicable af

7. Amen, "nxdiuhtheterrible."

Dick pics. Never in my life have I ever asked for one or even wanted to receive one, yet men hand them out like business cards. Please stop.

8. 100%, "azul_lavie."

Saggy pants

9. Gross, "shoecalendar."

How drunk you got, or how well you understand women. I once had a guy I had been talking to for *A WEEK* tell me that if I ended things (?) it would be the worst mistake of my life because of how much potential he had. I was 18 he was 20.

Got the mistake of my life out of the way early I guess.

10. How dare they, "the_m00nstone."

Being mean to/about their moms.

I hope this isn't as common as my experience has made it out to be. I've known many guys who talk about their moms like they're these annoying idiots or something, constantly bitching about them or putting them down really casually. And I've met a lot of those moms, and most have been lovely.

11. The absolute worst, "WaffleIron50."

That throat thing where they go overboard trying to bring up phlegm and spit on the pavement. It's disgusting honestly.

12. GTFO, Dave, "GloomyBaby4."

I hate it when guys try too hard to be the "MANLY MAN." Like, Dave, I've been on my own for awhile, I can open a jar of salsa.

13. Where did they all learn this? "jessicamshannon."

Doing that thing during sex where you move your hips in a circle. I would say 1/2 of all dudes I've fucked, and trust me that number is uncomfortably high, do that move and it does nothing for me. It does however take me out of the moment and cause me to think "What? This? Again?"

14. Truth, "whostonedtx."

Posting bitter statues about women on social media. Yes - we notice. Whoever hurt you - I’m sorry she did that but complaining about how “women ain’t shit” “bitches ain’t shit” “hoes ain’t loyal” on social media is going to push the very kind of woman you hope to meet away.

15. Definitely, "worldwidehandsomee."

Guys who refuse to do something because they perceive it to be a shot against their masculinity. Eg. Refusing to admit whether they think another male would be considered as attractive or not, cos they ‘aint gay’.

No one was thinking that. It doesnt make you sound tough - just insecure and lame IMO

16. She's been burned by the wink, "Critter616."

For me...excessive winking. Cannot handle it at all.

17. Comparing is the worst, "book_smart_devil."

Dont ever say, "you're not like other girls." Please, it's a huge turn off. Girls dont like to be compared, yes even in a positive way, it still feels like you're comparing us and putting us on a pedestal.

18. Nobody cares about your workout, "blindblondbored."

Bragging about their bodies or hours logged at the gym.

Being woken up to anything that isn't birds singing, sun shining and a tray of coffee, bagels and mimosas is rough.

In a perfect world, we'd all be able to let our bodies naturally wake us up when we had enough sleep and we wouldn't need to rely on scary alarm clocks blaring sounds that terrify us into alertness. We've all had some times, though, where we woke up to something incredibly surprising. I can't begin to count the sleepover parties I had as a child where I'd be woken up by crude drawings on my face, ketchup in my hair, or whipped cream on my pillow case. As an adult, the fun surprises of loud construction, drunk friends, flooding bathrooms and emboldened cats are pretty common.

Things got interesting, though, when a recent Reddit user asked, "What is the worst/scariest thing that has woken you up?" and the internet was ready to reveal their wildest moments. From insects to children straight up of a horror movie, these will make you want to sleep with the light on tonight...

1. Death to Roombas, "CallMeTDD."

Anyone here have one of those robotic vacuums? When the power goes out those fuckers start wandering around lost, bumping into shit. Absolutely terrifying thing to be woken up by at 3 in the morning.

2. Wow this is truly terrifying, "SuicidalAstronaut."

My 2 year-old standing over me with a kitchen knife. He wanted sliced apples at 4:00 in the morning, and somehow managed to climb up on table and pull out a knife. Now we keep them in the cupboard.

3. Nope nope nope, "Reprehend45."

My daughter was a sleepwalker. There is something so indescribably creepy about waking up to a four-year-old standing at your bedside, just staring. She wouldn't make a sound; she'd let her stinky breath wake me up. Then once I recovered from the shock of her being there, she'd speak in tongues because she wasn't really awake. I'd assure her she was asleep and escort her back to her room to be tucked in, never taking my eyes off her for fear her head would swivel around fully and she'd laugh maniacally at me. Scared the piss out of me every time.

4. Are you ok, "undercooked_lasagna?"

Oh yeah I remember waking up to my gym teacher shouting my name but thankfully nobody else was in the closet with us.

5. Probably ghosts, "cesilio."

When I was a baby my brother would sleepwalk, he would have been around 4. He would point behind my parents and let out blood curdling screams. After we moved it stopped.

6. Yeah that would definitely wake someone up, "audioinyourface."

In January of this year a car ran into my bedroom at 1am

7. Absolutely not, "TheIrishninjas."

A spider landing on my face. In retrospect, the little guy was probably as terrified as I was, think it had accidentally fallen somehow, but God damn it was scary.

8. Be nice to dogs, "FastBreakPoints."

The sound of my stepfather screaming “Get the FUCK out of our house!”

I’m in bed thinking that a person is in here, but turns out it was our neighbors dog, lol.

That night there was a storm and it knocked over one of their trees onto our fence so their dog came into our backyard and into our house through a doggie door.

9. Yikes, "brijjen."

In grad school, my roommate standing directly over me, staring down at me

She couldn’t decide if she should wake me up or not - she kept hearing this deep voice mumbling at inconsistent intervals and was torn between “there’s someone in the house” and “I’m finally actually losing my mind” (she was studying psych at the time).

We finally figured out that it was the smoke detector wanting new batteries but holy hell, she scared me

10. Oh my god, "Kataratz."

My dad started screaming my name. It completely freaked me out. And I could hear it was coming from his room across the hallway. It sounded as if I was in hell and there was giant echo. I was scared as hell. 5 Minutes later I gained bravery and went to him and saw my mom broke her arm lmfao.

11. Very sorry this happened to you, "carpediem13."

A rustling noise in the mini trash can near my bed. At first I thought it was my fan making the bag move but when I put my ihpone light near it, something jumped and moved.

A cockroach to wake me up at 5AM.

12. Cats are evil, "zogolophigon."

Woke up suffocating, something heavy pressing down on my face covering my mouth and nose. At first i thought it was my duvet so tried to shift it but it wouldnt budge. The tried to reach up and force this thing off me. Turns out it was just my fat cat who decided to curl up on my face and was unwilling to move until I used all my strength to slide him off

13. This definitely wins weirdest, "BtotheHtotheIll"

This isn't bad or scary, just strange. I was once woken up by a snail.

I was sleeping in a room in the basement. One morning, I was woken up by a sound that went "Squeak (like a squeegee), tap, tap, tap; squeak, tap, tap tap."

I couldn't figure out what was making the sound, so I looked around the room. When I looked out the window, I saw that a snail was crawling across it and making the sound. The squeak was the snail moving. The tap came from its shell knocking against the glass.

14. Terrifying, "jokeascool."

A red fox screaming outside my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It literally sounds like a woman being tortured and screaming in the worst pain you can imagine.

Probably didn't help that we had just watched The Autopsy of Jane Doe before going to bed. Lol

15. Damn that's rough, "DashCat9."

Girlfriend of three years had planned on coming over late morning, and she was a bit early so I was still in bed. She nudged me awake and broke up with me.

16. Wow this was a full attack, "crowfeather."

I wake up and feel something between my toes. I look down. IT’S A FUCKING WASP STUCK BETWEEN MY TOES STINGING ME OVER AND OVER AS IT DIES!

17. Wow, "tkelly20."

A girl I was having a one night stand with started getting sick after we fell asleep. Woke up covered in vomit to a crying girl. Somehow managed not to get sick myself and spent the next four hours cleaning and contemplating whether I was really that bad...

Can you believe Y2K was almost 2 decades ago? This hilarious meme list will give you major nostalgia for the days of low rise jeans, MySpace and flip phones. Are you ready to go back to the early 2000s? Come on and take a ride down memory lane with me.

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If brotherly love is best expressed through a commitment to incessant roasting and a repression of straightforward affection, then Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman are killing the game. Anyone familiar with their online personas is well aware of how fond they are of trolling each other. Even their attempt at an online truce turned out to be a quickly broken farce, luring us all further into the cute abyss of their friendship.

All this is to say, the general public is constantly tuned into these two and all of their public friendship shenanigans, even when it's not fully of spicy roast jokes.

Needless to say, when Jackman posted a throwback Thursday photo featuring both of them as little boys, the internet officially lost its chill (not that there was any to begin with).

While Jackman's one word photo caption merely hinted at their brotherly resemblance, Reynolds couldn't resist the opportunity to indirectly diss his friend while lifting himself up.

Several fans of both actors fully enjoyed the indirect display of male affection.

While others were too busy mining up photo sources and planning an upcoming Deadpool and Wolverine movie collaboration.

Jackman posted the same photo on Instagram, where it appears Reynolds chose to instead roast his mom.

This is truly a peak display of guy love, J.D. and Turk would be proud.

“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”

— Benjamin Franklin

Sometimes the only way to feel alive in the morning is by having a big cup of coffee and an even bigger laugh. Wake up and get your giggle on with these randomly hilarious memes.

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Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have given their world of fans yet another couple goal to gush over with their latest public display of affection: matching family tattoos. Of all of the Hollywood couples constantly thrust into the spotlight, they are a pair that seems genuinely secure in their love, and the new ink only compounds that sense of loving security.

On Thursday Teigen posted a photo of their matching tattoos on Instagram, each of which feature the family names in cursive.

Accordingly, Legend's tattoo says "Chrissy - Luna - Miles" and Teigen's says "John-Luna-Miles."

Since getting the tattoos Teigen has been having fun joking about being a tattoo family who only identifies with other inked families.

As with any niche community you can imagine, there are legitimately families whose sole identity lies in the fact that they have tattoos, so there is plenty of source material for Teigen's new bit.

Her followers are fully on board, for both the wholesome matching tattoos and the ensuing jokes thereafter.

In fact, Teigen and Legend really committed to the bit by making a fake promo for their new reality show "Legends of Ink."

Suffice it to say, they are having a boatload of fun with their new status as a tattoo family and it shows.

It's hard enough asking for help from your closest friends and family, let alone a complete stranger. But for some people, relying on the kindness of strangers is a necessity. A woman recently shared an eye-opening thread on Twitter about how a stranger on the train who suffers from epilepsy reached out to her for help, and she complied. The woman, named Erynn Brook, initially shared the whole story as a distraction from her cat getting an ultrasound.

Good news: the kitty is A-Okay and the story has a happy ending (as well as a lesson). You ready?

Brook's story begins, "I met a girl on the train last night." But, don't worry, this is not a Girl on the Train-type Oprah's Book Club murder mystery with an unreliable narrator. It's a story of one woman stepping in to help another in a time of need. But more than that, it's a story about the way our society has failed people with disability, and the battles people are fighting every day that most of us don't even realize. Here goes:

Erynn goes on to reflect on the the ways we have been conditioned to "help" people dealing with any kind of health emergency. In general, we're taught to call 911—but, depending on the situation, this isn't always the best approach.

Brook uses her story to illustrate the fact that our individualistic society has forced many people with disability to create their own support system.

"We built a world for convenience, not community."

Of course, we need emergency services like 911, she clarifies. But they have their limitations—and that is where we need to look to ourselves to step in.

Brook's thread went mega-viral, prompting many people to share their own stories. She followed up by retweeting another thread about why, in some cases, calling 911 is absolutely necessary.

Thank you, Erynn!

This story makes you think—about able-bodied privilege, and about all the ways we as human beings can choose to step in to help make life a little bit easier for people who society has left to fend for themselves. Be the Erynn Brooks you wish to see in the world.

"I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."

– By Gilda Radner

Being a woman is the bomb. We can wear yoga pants literally every day and we've got this awesome meme list to make us laugh. So blessed.

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The world is full of unpredictable factors, but Fox News' Tucker Carlson is not one of them. Without fail, he manages to churn out wild soundbites week after week, and one of his most consistent touchpoints is his deep distate for feminists.

In fact, just last week Carlson made waves on the Twittersphere after he used the concept of feminist power to attack The Nation editor Chris Hayes.

"Chris Hayes is what every man would be if feminists ever achieved absolute power in this country: apologetic, bespectacled, and deeply, deeply concerned about global warming and the patriarchal systems that cause it."

As with a lot of Carlson's attacks, it ended up boosting Hayes' appearance to a large portion of the internet.

Well now, less than a week later, Carlson is back in the backlash seat, with a new soundbite making the rounds. This time, the Fox News host bemoaned the fact that feminists can do science, which further proves that he's a low-hanging Onion headline come to life.

During the segment, Carlson showed a video highlighting a study exploring the effects of toxic masculinity on our climate change crisis.

"When men’s gender identity was threatened, they tried to reassert their masculinity through environmentally damaging choices," he mockingly read from the study.

He then summarized: "If we want to save the environment we have to suppress men."

In true form, this assertion (that he worded himself), hit a nerve with Carlson, so her turned to the Conservative author Mark Steyn to ask the question that launched a thousand tweets:

"How did we wind up with a country in which feminists do science?"

Needless to say, Carlson's distress at women being allowed to "do science" has garnered a flood of responses. Many are worried about the fall out that will inevitably occur when Carlson realizes women are allowed into tech and the arts as well.

Others decided to remind Carlson of a few of the many groundbreaking female scientists throughout history.

Given the stupidity of his proclamation, there are endless responses that are best communicated through an image.

At his current rate, it'll only be a few more days before Carlson finds a new absurd bone to pick with women's rights.

At this point, you've no doubt heard some 'interesting' thoughts on men pursuing women sexually versus sexually harassing them. The discourse around the subject is sometimes maddening, with people conflating the two or discussing them like there's a spectrum ranging from making eye contact to rape. Um, there is not. The intention to gauge someone's sexual/romantic interest is different from the intention to harass or assault them, no matter what your 'Fox News'-addled uncle says.

Comedian Kate Willett clearly articulated the difference between flirting and harassment in a Facebook post that went viral, and which she later posted to Twitter.

Her take definitely struck a chord with people.

Kate has appeared on Comedy Central's storytelling show 'This Is Not Happening', where she spun a yarn about a Burning Man pregnancy scare. Yes, I'm serious:

It's possible you've seen her on 'The Jim Jefferies Show' as a political correspondent or watched her 15-minute Netflix special. She conveys the indignities of modern womanhood with a wit and verve that's all her own, discussing everything from skateboarding f*ckboys to reproductive rights. Her work embodies the feminist maxim 'The personal is political' as she often draws on lived experiences to make larger points about societal injustice. While currently based in New York City, she started stand up in San Francisco and now tours the world.

When asked for comment, Kate said, 'At the time I wrote that post it was in the midst of a lot of people publicly expressing that flirting would no longer be "allowed." I don’t know if there’s anything I’d add, but over the past year, I did start to feel that some guys who do want to flirt in a non-creepy way may need a little bit more guidance. I’m actually working on a book about this now!' Kudos, Kate, and we look forward to reading the book.