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Fox News' Laura Ingraham shows clip of wrong rapper while smearing murder victim Nipsy Hussle.

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Can you guess what's going on over at every right-winger's favorite fictional "news" station, Fox? If you guessed a big dish of misinformation baked in racism with a side of dragging the dead, then you are correct!!!!

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On Friday’s episode of The Ingraham Mangle—I mean Angle—host Laura Ingraham, known for dragging the Parkland students and comparing child internment camps to "summer camp," did what she does best: lie, slander, be racist, and insult murder victims. In a segment about the memorial service of late rapper Nipsey Hussle, who was fatally shot on March 31st in South Los Angeles, Ingraham mocked the rapper, playing a clip of his song "FDT" (Fuck Donald Trump). “Now that’s a very creative refrain,” Ingraham says, sarcastically. Her guest, Raymond Arroyo, quips back "very catchy." Ingraham adds that the song's hook “goes on and on.” Yes, they are dragging a murder victim because of a song from 2016. Brave!

To add insult to idiocy, Ingraham plays a clip that doesn't show Nipsy Hussle but instead Compton rapper YG (Nipsy Hussle is featured on the song but not in the clip). This is not the first time Fox News has confused one famous black person for another.

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As many are pointing out on Twitter, Nipsy Hussle, real name Ermias Asghedom, was not only a beloved and prolific rapper, but also an activist committed to helping his community by opening businesses, building community centers and helping kids learn tech and coding. At the time of his death, he was in Los Angeles for a meeting to help stop gang violence.

People are, understandably, furious at Fox News for their flagrant disrespect, mixed with their idiotic (and undeniably racist) mistake (the Fox cocktail!).

Some are even calling for Ingraham to be fired.

But knowing Fox News, they'll probably give her a promotion instead.

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Fortunately, Ingraham's petty smear campaign is overshadowed by the beloved rapper's legacy. Thousands of people, including Snoop Dogg, Stevie Wonder, and ensens Jhené Aiko, gathered at The Staples Center to mourn his death last Thursday. He was buried the next day at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills cemetery. Here's a video of Donald Glover, aka Childish Gambino, at Coachella giving the late rapper the tribute he deserves:

Laura Ingra-who?


28 Hilarious Memes Anyone Who Paid Taxes This Year Needs To See.

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“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.”

– Jimmy Kimmel

Nothing is certain in life except death, taxes, and laughing at memes. Whether you've procrastinated to the very last second like I am currently doing, or you blew your entire refund long ago, these tax memes are guaranteed to crack you up.

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Jameela Jamil's cellulite selfie sparks a powerful thread proving there's no 'wrong' body part.

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Even if you're not as obsessed with the philosophical comedy of The Good Place as many of us, it's likely you're familiar with actress Jameela Jamil by now. On top of her relatively recent explosion into Hollywood fame, Jamil has also made a name for herself as an outspoken promoter of body positivity.

A few months back Jamil launched the I Weigh Instagram account in response to the onslaught of media messages encouraging women to diet and obsess over weight, and since then it has taken off.

The account encourages women, and people of all genders, to post selfies of themselves alongside all of the interests and strengths that fill their life with joy and inform who they are as people.

View this post on Instagram

Thank you @jvn ❤️ #iweigh

A post shared by I WEIGH 📣 (@i_weigh) on

This imagery is supposed to help people recontextualize the idea of how much you weigh into something positive an empowering, an accumulation of what you've built in your life, rather than a literal weighing of your body.

On top of running this Instagram, Jamil has also actively called out the Kardashians and other celebrities who push diet products and promote unhealthy and often manipulated beauty standards.

One of her personal ways of fighting unrealistic standards is by posting airbrush-free photos of herself, and talking frankly about her own past struggles with eating disorders and body dysmorphia, as well as the ways money is a key factor in beauty standards.

In keeping with her commitment to the conversation around body positivity and transparency, Jamil recently posted a reminder that all of the "bits " of our bodies are completely normal and healthy, and we should be viewing our bodies as friends, not objects.

Her post inspired other women to share selfies of themselves, as well as frank discussions of the ways they are fighting back against the myriad of body negative voices.

Many of the women shared that now they are wearing whatever they want, after years of feeling they weren't allowed.

Women were particularly refreshed by the fact that Jamil's post pointed out just how normal it is to have dimples and cellulite. Most women, of all sizes and shapes, have dimples on their thighs, we're just bombarded with photoshopped versions of women's bodies.

Mansplainer gets dragged to shreds after recommending discount menstrual products.

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It should be common knowledge that it's bad form to give condescending lectures about subjects you know nothing about. And yet, men across the world continue to talk down to women about everything from periods to abortion rights, as if their opinion is relevant.

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Luckily, for the collective sanity of exhausted women everywhere, men who mansplain the female experience online are often dragged to deserved shreds. The online destruction of such men creates a schadenfreude effect powerful enough to ALMOST make us forget their sins. In the very least, it gives a bit of relief after facepalming into oblivion.

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One of the latest installments of Mansplainers Getting Dunked involved a property developer from the UK who felt it his duty to explain why female hygiene products shouldn't be free.

Not only did he decide he needed to chime in on how menstrual products are "actually affordable," but he made his commentary in response to a news story about schools receiving free menstrual products. So, essentially, he felt the need to decry a positive policy, for what?!

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Needless to say, he got utterly dragged by both facts and jokes.

People were quick to point out that budgeting is a luxury for people with any money at all, and the point of these policies is to ensure women and girls in poverty aren't forced to free bleed.

Others pointed out the fact that cheap menstrual products often don't work as well, and lead to leaks and even infections.

Again, many pointed out the fact that both his gender and financial privilege made it difficult for him to grasp the realities many women face.

The response to this bad, privileged take was fairly unanimous, with people from all walks of life encouraging him to shut up. Unfortunately, mansplainers of this level rarely listen to those they lecture. In the very least, we can hope he got embarrassed.

28 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Married.

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"Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time."

—Chris Rock

Being married is like a roller coaster- there are ups, downs, and sometimes it really makes you want to barf. Anyone who's ever taken the plunge into holy matrimony will totally relate to these utterly hilarious marriage memes.

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25 memes that will only be funny if you watched the 'Game of Thrones' season premiere.

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The Long Night is OVER! Game of Thrones is finally back...for the last time.

Season 8 Episode 1, "Winterfell," gave us dragon rides, reunions, and only one named character death!

The show dominated social media all night long, and here are some of the best jokes.

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27 Utterly Random Memes Everyone Should Laugh At This Morning.

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"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."

--Mark Twain

Laughter is not only the best medicine it also totally burns calories. After these random memes, we're all going to be skinny AF and live forever. This hilarious meme list will crack you up and totally make your day. You're welcome.

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Guy begs not to make 'Game of Thrones' political and gets dragged to the seven hells.

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Ambitious players fight for power. Backroom deals. Betrayal.

These are the non-dragon elements that define Game of Thrones...and please, don't make this show about who will come to rule the land political!

This is the hot take from Will Witt, a conservative personality whose other hits include not-so-subtly white supremacist videos like "Multiculturalism is ruining Europe." He also has an idea of what will ruin Game of Thrones, and it's, um, everything Game of Thrones is about.

The guy quote-tweeted a quote from George R.R. Martin, the inventor of Westeros, saying that the existential threat of the White Walkers that will come to kill the realm even if Queen Cersei Lannister prefers to ignore it is, in fact, a lot like climate change.

Witt knows Game of Thrones better than the guy who wrote A Game of Thrones, and he humbly requests that we please keep politics out of the show about who will rule the realm. Can a show with "thrones" in the title please not be about who has power?

Needless to say, he got dragged like he was looking over the courtyard with Sansa Stark at Winterfell...

...or, because it was a group effort, I guess you can say that it's more like Qyburn's "little birds" stab the hell out of Grandmaester Pycelle.

PLEASE don't get political, Varys.

As many clever tweeters noted, "don't make it political" just means "don't include politics that I personally don't like."

Witt dreams we return to the day when art wasn't political, which was precisely never.

These are the same dudes who beg us not to compare Star Wars stormtroopers to Nazi stormtroopers even though they're literally called stormtroopers.

Sorry, buddy. Facts don't care about your feelings.


Kim Kardashian shut down people claiming she's 'buying' her law degree. Order in the court.

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In case you missed it, just last week a glossy solo Vogue profile revealed that Kim Kardashian is becoming a lawyer. The profile revealed that last year, she began a four year apprenticeship with a law firm in San Francisco with plans to take the bar in 2022.

Kardashian shared that her decision to study law was largely sparked by her White House advocacy for the pardon of Alice Marie Johnson, a grandma who had been jailed for nonviolent drug charges since 1996.

"I’m sitting in the Roosevelt Room with, like, a judge who had sentenced criminals and a lot of really powerful people and I just sat there, like, Oh, shit. I need to know more. I would say what I had to say, about the human side and why this is so unfair. But I had attorneys with me who could back that up with all the facts of the case. It’s never one person who gets things done; it’s always a collective of people, and I’ve always known my role, but I just felt like I wanted to be able to fight for people who have paid their dues to society. I just felt like the system could be so different, and I wanted to fight to fix it, and if I knew more, I could do more."

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While this path has been a brewing reality for Kim the past year, the news came as a shock to the general public. And as with all shocks, particularly related to Kim, the responses ranged from super supportive to downright condescending.

It would be an understatement to say that Kim's decision to study law has inspired a new crop of Legally Blonde memes, discussions of misogyny, and reflections on how privilege will pad her process.

Rather than allow the conversation to rage without her input, on Monday Kim posted the ultimate, in-depth response to people doubting her decision.

In the post, Kim lays out what drove her to make the decision to pivot to law, and how she is in no way "buying her degree," and absolutely has to do the same amount of studying as everyone else.

"Last year I registered with the California State Bar to study law. For the next 4 years, a minimum of 18 hours a week is required, I will take written and multiple choice tests monthly. As my first year is almost coming to an end I am preparing for the baby bar, a mini version of the bar, which is required when studying law this way. I’ve seen some comments from people who are saying it’s my privilege or my money that got me here, but that’s not the case."

She continued by stating that the idea of "staying in your lane" is yet another way to limit people's dreams and self-improvement, and she doesn't abide by those limits.

"One person actually said I should “stay in my lane.” I want people to understand that there is nothing that should limit your pursuit of your dreams, and the accomplishment of new goals. You can create your own lanes, just as I am. The state bar doesn’t care who you are. This option is available to anyone who’s state allows it. It’s true I did not finish college. You need 60 college credits (I had 75) to take part in “reading the law”, which is an in office law school being apprenticed by lawyers."

She also opened up about the day-to-day logistics of getting a degree, and how it requires her to miss out on a lot of family and relaxation time.

"For anyone assuming this is the easy way out, it’s not. My weekends are spent away from my kids while I read and study. I work all day, put my kids to bed and spend my nights studying. There are times I feel overwhelmed and when I feel like I can’t do it but I get the pep talks I need from the people around me supporting me. I changed my number last year and disconnected from everyone because I have made this strict commitment to follow a dream of mine - It’s never too late to follow your dreams. "

She then went on to thank her mentors and supporters who have given her boosts along this journey.

"I want to thank Van Jones for believing in me and introducing me to Jessica Jackson. Jessica along with Erin Haney have taken on the role of my mentors and I am forever grateful to them both putting in so much time with me, believing in me and supporting me through this journey. This week I have a big torts essay due on negligence. Wish me luck."

A lot of Kim's fans were here for the thorough and intelligent way she addressed recent criticisms.

But there are still people discouraged by the way Kim seems to completely erase her privilege from the equation. Obviously, the studying and drive is legitimate, and she's made it clear throughout her career that she does not shy away from hard work and a challenge. However, her ability to quickly land an apprenticeship at a firm, afford nannies for her study times, and receive mentorship from celebrities and high-profile lawyers is a direct result of wealth and status privilege. Not to mention, the fact that she won't be going into debt for this degree.

While it's absolutely true that Kim is working hard, and her decision to pursue law proves she is someone committed to bettering herself, it's also true that her privilege is clearing the way for this path, and what a lot of fellow students would like, is the slightest admission of that.

18 parents share their 'I raised a monster' moment. Children should be returnable.

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Parents: you've got the hardest job in the world. You've been tasked with - okay, you've tasked yourself with - molding a lump of human clay into a proper, adult person. It's no easy feat and anyone that's babysat for a few hours can attest to that. I can't imagine being responsible for something's evolution as a fully-fledged member of society. The prospect is terrifying.

Even more terrifying, however? The possibility of raising a virtual monster. Maybe not a 'Damien'-type monster, but someone who lacks empathy or perspective. Redditor Crogg88 asked the community, "Parents of reddit, what was your oh god I’ve raised a monster moment?" and there was no shortage of responses. Keep reading for some of the absolute scariest.

1. kashmira_noman

Not the mom, but the aunt. Sister's older girl is a saint, but the little one is a psychopath and sister and brother in law indulge every crazy behavior of hers.

One of the worst was last year when one of my sister's ureter broke and she had to get a tube from her kidney, out of her body and to a bag, while said ureter healed. She was pretty ill and was in the hospital for a bit more than a month.

Anyways, second night she's back home, little shit PULLS the tube out of my sister's kidney, requiring her to get an emergency surgery.

Little shit's excuse? She KNEW doing that would hurt mommy, but she (my sister) was getting SO MUCH attention from daddy since she got home... attention she (little shit) deserves more.

The worst part is that my sister and brother in law thought that was cute... smh. The crazy part is that my older niece would have never gotten away with something like that, so I don't really get why they spoiled the younger one so much.

I know she's my niece, but I just can't see past those behaviors and like her... she's 6 btw

2. Deshra

When she tried to strangle her sister and a couple weeks later lied to the school about her being abused, leading to a full blown investigation (later they discovered from her friends that she lied) while packing her things we discovered that she had been stealing opiates, and alcohol. She can’t live with us anymore to protect her younger sister.

3. Iceicemickey

When my son decided- in the grocery store parking lot- that it would be “fun” to scream “YOU’RE NOT MY MOMMY! WHERE’S MY MOMMY? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!” He had this evil smirk on his face as I panicked and tried to explain what could happen if someone heard that. He started yelling it louder.

4. Azuraon

Three year old daughter deliberately screaming to wake up her four month old sister.

For five hours. During a long car ride.

5. bluedyou

My 11 yr old son recently called 911 and said I slapped him. CPS came, it was a cluster. It was so well orchestrated, he even took a picture of himself with a red mark on his face. I didn't slap him and it eventually got debunked although he still won't admit it. A couple months later, he told his dad I forced him to make the ol' dirty 2 finger licking gesture, take a pic and send it to him.

He lives with his dad now, and isn't allowed here until I can afford a camera system. Still unclear on a motive.

6. PallidaCulus

Years ago, my wife and I had a very heated argument. Our daughter overhears us and comes into the room just as things hit their peak. My wife rushes into the bathroom crying. I'm left sitting on the bed feeling low, listening to my wife sob on the other side of the door. Our daughter looks up at me with a smile and says "Mommy's crying" and proceeds to laugh loud enough for mom to hear. And with that, I was in trouble for something entirely new.

7. markusmas

When I was play arguing with my 7 year old and she said she wished she was dead like my miscarried baby. Fucking savage and a brat.

8. YesBunny

My mom found out her lack of parenting with my brother went wrong when he tried to choke me out for accidentally kicking him.

I don’t even remember being choked, but apparently it was so bad he had to go to anger management and therapy for 3 years.

9. MacTavishoo

When our 13 year old decided to steal 200 dollars that was hidden in my desk one week before Christmas, he then spent it all in one day on candy, and yelled at us for confiscating what was left of it, he also told us it was our fault for leaving money in the house.

To confirm that he is horrible person, he told his mum that he doesn't like seeing anyone else happy which is why he broke his one year old brothers things.

10. jame5180

he told me that pouring hot water on daddy would be so, so, sooooo funny.

11. dancinginside

This chilling conversation with my then 4.5 year old daughter...

“Mommy, do you love me?”

“Of course, my darling! I love you forever and always, no matter what!”

“Even after I kill _(little brother’s name)?”

12. Ohaisaelis

My five-year-old was eating some chocolate, and I told him not to get any on the floor because Sadie, my family’s dog, would eat it.

Him: Then she’ll die?
Me: Yeah.
Him: Mommy I thought you don’t like Sadie.
Me: Well yeah, I don’t.
Him: And you don’t want her to die???
Me: Well... you can dislike someone, but that doesn’t mean you hate them enough that you want them to die.
Him: Oh. So it’s okay if you don’t like someone... you don’t have to kill them or anything, right?
Me: ... Right.
Him: Oh. Okay. Thanks Mommy.

Had he just been going around expecting to kill people he doesn’t like all that time? I’ll never know.

13. usmanahmedani37856

When my sons were 12 and 13 the older one stole $600 from my wife and I. He gave the younger one half. When they were caught and everything was said and done the younger son told us that we didn’t have the right to take “his” money from him because he didn’t steal it. That was when I knew. Now ages 19 and 20, the older son has long grown out of it. The younger one has never stopped stealing and lying. Before moving out he told me that he has always resented me for locking things up and, I’m quoting him here, “not letting me take whatever I want from you”. It amazes me because we raised all four of our kids the same way and the other two have always been good kids and kind hearted. Oh well

14. kandan2014

Had a neighborhood kid babysitting for my little ones after school. She had some other kids over who got into the liquor cabinet. We told her divorced mom who very indignantly told us we were lying. About a month later her dad comes to the house with a bottle of kirswasser (alcohol used for cooking fondue), a couple cheap gold necklaces from my wife, a spare key to our house and an old checkbook from a closed bank account. He apologized profusely and I remember him saying "I never thought my kid would be the bad kid in the neighborhood..." - it was painful to see.

15. LifeIsOnTheWire

My kid was 12 at the time, we were driving their friend home after a sleepover. They were taking turns roasting eachother in the back seat.

Then my kid says "your parents probably knew you would stutter, that's why they named you A-aron".

Yes, he did have a stuttering problem.

16. Tyskeberget

When I watched my younger son walk out on the porch, pick up a plastic whiffle bat, look at it, look at his older brother sitting on the porch steps, look back at the bat, and then haul back and crack his brother's head like Babe Ruth popping one out of the park.

I could watch his thought process in 5 seconds time: Bat. . .Brother. . .Bat. . .Hit. No hesitation.

17. GaryGronk

I have two sons. One is 11 and the other 7. The 7 year old is...special. Highly intelligent and very social. But also does a lot of deep thinking. Early one Sunday morning he came up to me, out of the blue, and said:

"Dad, how do ducks work?"

I was all "how to what? What? Ducks? Huh" in a half sleep state. Before I could work out what he wanted to know he said: "I guess if I open one up, I'll find out?" and walked away.

Honestly spent a good hour looking for ducks and watched him carefully when he went near the kitchen utensils.

18. Cz4rny

Oh man, too many to list. The most recent is when my son shot me with his Nerf gun directly in my eyeball. My eye still hurts a week later. A couple of weeks ago, my other son pooped on the floor (he's 3) and put a donut on top of it to hide it.

Woman's scathing clap-back at the men who mocked her bikini body goes viral.

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Stripping down to a swimsuit at the beach can be an incredibly triggering experience for a lot of reasons. For one, you're literally exposing your body to the elements, to sand and trash and fish, sun burns and limitless bug bites. But more daunting than that, you're exposing your body to the eyes of other human beings who can be endlessly cruel and judgemental. As with everything, the body shaming multiplies if you're a woman.

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The blogger Shelly Proebstel is all too familiar with the ways body shaming and misogyny can be a shaming and limiting force. So, in retaliation to the fatphobic norms, she uses her platform to open up honest dialogue and promote body positivity.

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During a recent trip to New Zealand's Mt Maunganui Beach, Proebstel noticed a group of nearby men sneering and cruelly mocking her body.

Rather than internalizing their misplaced hatred, Proebstel used the experiences as fodder for her blog, where she wrote an in-depth and scathing indictment of their behavior.

"To the guys who pointed and laughed when I took my sarong off today at Mt Maunganui Beach, bearing my soul (my bikini body) to the world, I just want to say (excuse my language but) FUCK YOU!"

"It’s because of dickheads like you that people are so incredibly insecure about their body image. It’s because of people like you that women especially don’t feel safe or confident or comfortable to go out in society in something like a bikini, or a crop top (they probably aren’t even called that anymore!) or a short dress, or with their midriff showing."

She started her response by pointing out how the cruel behavior of those men, and others like him contribute to the cultural shame women feel around their bodies. This shame in turn feeds into the cultural epidemic of eating disorders.

"It’s because of people like you that people starve themselves and make themselves sick in an attempt to maintain a ‘model-like figure’. It’s because of people like you that people wear long sleeves all year round because they are scared to show their arms."

"It’s because people like you that people become anorexic, obese, bulimic, self harm, commit suicide...I could go on...No, you are not responsible for the entirety.
But YES, you have to take some responsibility."

She went on to encourage the men who laughed at her, and others prone to body-shaming, to slow down and think about the palpable ways their attitudes affect people's confidence.

"So next time you see someone like me on the beach in a bikini or in a situation similar, before you laugh and point, take a moment to think about the damage you may just do, because not every person, young or old, male or female, will have learnt to have the thick skin, or the resilience, or the self confidence, that I do to brush it off."

For a moment, even Proebstel felt a pang of shame and a temptation to cover up, but she managed to press through the feeling.

"I won’t lie, there was a split second that I almost quickly covered up again, and then I reminded myself of all I have learnt on this journey, and I held my head high and stuck my belly out and wore that bikini with pride."

She then ended her post with a call-to-arms to parents everywhere, both encouraging and pleading that they truly think about the ways they discuss bodies with their kids.

"Parents, I urge you to teach your children that there is no one body shape, but instead that there is a rainbow of beautiful bodies. I urge you to teach them not to stare directly at a bigger stomach than they might be accustomed to seeing on tv or in society, but instead, to look at a persons face and into their eyes. I urge you to teach them to be kind to all types of people, regardless of their outer appearance. I urge you to teach your children to accept people for exactly who they are on the inside. And I urge you to teach your children to be role models to those around them who aren’t being taught this, and to be the positive change we need to see in the world, so that in 5 or 10 or 20 years time, no more people are pointed at and laughed at by the way they look when they wear a bikini on the beach."

To the guys who pointed and laughed when I took my sarong off today at Mt Maunganui Beach, bearing my soul (my bikini...

Posted by Bald and Beautiful on Friday, January 11, 2019

Her post quickly went viral, with over 54,000 liking the post, and dozens of thousands sharing the sentiment. Hopefully, Proebstel's willingness to open up about her experience will cause others to think twice before making rude and fatphobic judgements.

7 times people were accused of crimes they didn't commit and lived to tell the tale.

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If the Serial podcast taught us anything, it's that Adnan didn't do it people love a good 'they got the wrong guy!' story. As it turns out, stories about people being l accused by law enforcement are pretty common. At least according to a Reddit thread that asked people to share their own experiences. We picked out seven of our favorite tales for you to enjoy. Here's the good news and the bad news at the same time: they don't last as long as a Netflix docuseries. Enjoy!

1. The time this cop experienced it from both ends - 626c6f775f6d65

I’ve got two, from twenty-five years ago when I was a cop, one on one side of the badge and one from the other.

The first, I got assigned a warrant service to pick up a wanted felon. Mr. Robertson was 6’ tall, 250 pounds, long red hair, bushy red beard, and lived at, let’s say, 123 Elm St. Pretty distinctive dude.

So I roll up to 123 Elm Street, and sure enough, there mowing his lawn in the front yard is the man himself, 6’, 250, red hair, red beard. I make contact with him, “Hey, Mr. Robertson? You got warrants and it’s time to go to jail.”

Hook him up, take him to jail, and in central booking I get his property off him and while filling out the inventory happen to notice this guy is Mr. Robinson, not Robertson.

Sure enough, the wanted guy was my guy’s landlord, and his twin-brother-from-another-mother doppelgänger. When I’d said Robertson, Robinson didn’t even twig to the fact I hadn’t said his name, he just heard the similar sounding name as his own. We had to walk the whole thing back and reactivate the warrant, then kicked him loose with a handshake and an apology.

The one from the other side, I had just gotten off duty at 2 AM and was driving home still in uniform. There wasn’t any other traffic on the road, so I wasn’t really surprised when a police car turned in behind me and started following me. I figured he was trolling for drunks and I was the only thing moving on the road, so he was just going to follow me a little to observe my driving, and he’d realize pretty quick I was sober and peel off.

Instead another patrol car joined him.

And another. And another.

Then all four lit me up, and spread out behind me, blocking the road in a full felony stop.

Well, this just got interesting.

They went through the whole procedure, and I carefully followed their instructions. When they finally got me out and saw my uniform, they just stopped for a few seconds while I was trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. Then three of the officers got in their cars, turned off their lights, and took off, while the original officer told me I could put my hands down and explained what was going on.

My car was a spot on match for the suspect vehicle in an armed robbery and shooting that had just occurred right up the road. I’d driven right by the scene before the cops even got there a few minutes before the officer in the next district spotted me and thought I was the suspect.

It was an interesting night.

2. The time a guy almost became the most severely prosecuted shoplifter of all time - smith_s2

Two of my colleagues (murder squad detectives) attended custody to meet a defendant answering bail - when they arrived at the custody desk there were a couple of people hanging around, waiting for their solicitors - they told the custody Sargent they were there for (insert name) and he pointed one of the guys out. They went up and introduced themselves and said they they would be questioning him at another station, so all three got in the car and headed off.

Whilst driving, they told the defendant what would be happening - on arrival he would be arrested on suspicion of attempted murder, questioned and either bailed or remanded. The guy was like "you've got to be joking, attempt murder? I was shoplifting!" - he was relatively calm, half laughing and shaking his head. A short time later one of the officer got a call from the custody Sgt - their actual bail appointment had arrived. There were two defendants with the same name answering bail that day.

They apologized to the non-murderous shoplifter, turned the car around and headed back to bring the right person in for questioning. Keystone cops to the max.

3. The man with the social security number tattoo - Merry_Pippins

In our family we had a great uncle who tattooed his name and social security number to his shoulder. Apparently he had the same name and birthday as another guy with a prison record, and had kept hearing about it. It came in handy at least twice when he was pulled over and the cops started arresting him. Each time he got out because he had his social security as proof that he was innocent.

4. The rookie mistake - Rossioo

I live in a small town in rural England, and we used to get some trainee's/ new police officers from the met there for their training.

Me and some of my friends were teenagers we were walking to the supermarket, because what else is there to do in a small town pre-internet? Suddenly from out of nowhere this police car comes screaming out of nowhere, sirens going and screeches to a halt in front of us.

A young guy, must have only been about five years or so older than us jumps out and starts giving us the whole hairdryer treatment. He lines us up and starts taking our statements of what we had been up to in the last hour/gloating at us "You lads are in trouble now, criminal damage, trespass, theft. You have really screwed up!". With him was the local bobby and he came up to each of us in turn after the younger guy had grilled us and said very jovially "Now don't worry lads, I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, we've had some reports of a break in. You don't match the preliminary description, and I'm sure we'll get this cleared up when we get the more detailed description come through."

So the more detailed description comes through the radio and the young guy is wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen. The description didn't even remotely match, and honestly the young guy looked so disappointed we all ended up feeling sorry for him.

So yeah, that was probably quite embarrassing for him.

5. The case that was clearly not led by Olivia Benson - hey_its_v

I travel frequently across the Canada/US border, sometimes by bus. On one bus trip, the whole bus was held up by one woman, who was pulled back to be interrogated. An hour later, she gets back on the bus, announcing that there was a person on the most wanted list with her same name. HOWEVER that person was a 5’4 white male, and she was a relatively tall (probably 5’10?) black woman. It took them an hour of interrogating her to realize they had the wrong

6. That time America's Most Wanted almost ruined a woman's life - Lost-My-Mind-

Basically, it revolves around the show "Americas Most Wanted"

A woman who looked almost EXACTLY like my mom was featured on the show. She had the same hair, same face, and the kicker, same name. They even showed my moms actual information (which I won't list here) as being the criminals.

The story ended like every story on that show does. "If you have ANY information regarding the whereabouts of this dangerous criminal, please call this number"

Now onto my moms perspective.

She was just sitting at home on a saturday night alone, as she lived alone. She was reading a Steven King book, when she hears some commotion coming from the hallway. She ignores it. Lots of yelling. She had not seen the show which painted her as a criminal.

Then suddenly BAM!!! Her door is knocked down in an instant. About 10 cops flood into her 1 bedroom apartment, and she is arrested.

She explained they had the wrong person. They claimed everything matched. Social security matched. DNA matched. Name matched. Photo resemblance matched.

It turns out the woman was basically stealing my moms identity, and intentionally making herself look like my mom. The end result is that when they created a profile for the criminal, they used my moms information to start with. So when they arrested my mom, of coarse the information matched.....it was her information originally.

They kept her in jail for 2 weeks. It wasn't until they took fingerprints from the scene of a crime they said she committed, and the prints didn't match, that they realized she wasnt the criminal.

Its scary to think if they had used her profile prints, rather then crime scene prints as the set to compare to, that she would have been still in jail today. It was basically a life sentance.

7. The time a number almost changed someone's fate - Zipper_Ed_Ems

one night around 8 pm my fiance recieved a call:

Officer: Derek, we have you health card. Tell us your whereabouts right now. Fiance: this isn't Derek... O: You sound like Derek. Your buddies ratted you out and gave us your number. Now where are you? F: I'm not Derek and I'm not telling you where I am. Who are you? O: this is Officer Smith. Stop messing around and tell us your location, Derek. F: Again, Derek is not my name. How do I know your a real officer? O: Boy, if you don't tell me where you are, your going to be in much more trouble. My badge number is blank. F: ok fine, I'm at home at blank. If you don't show up in a police car, I'm not coming out.

He hung up the phone, dialed 911 cause we live in a bad area and wasn't sure if this was a fake call or not. Operator verifies that it was a correct badge number. The officer called back. He apparently misdialed by one number. He apologized, but still blamed my fiance because "you were being very defensive and sounded guilty."

Comedian livetweets hilarious conflict between two women at cafe, goes viral.

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Comedians tend to be quite observant - and luckily for the Internet, Stuart Laws can multitask. The British comedian watched a hilarious conflict play out at his local cafe and livetweeted the entire thing. This story has everything: people being needlessly dramatic, stunned onlookers, protracted hostility, and a twist you won't see coming.

It's a long thread, so set aside some time to scroll through. We begin with two main characters feuding:

Phase II: book group!

There might even be an epilogue. Stay tuned!

25 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You Have Kids.

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“Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.”

– Phyllis Diller

If you have kids, you know the struggle is real. These hilarious memes totally nail the joy, the agony, and the complete messiness of being a parent today.

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28 times Sophie Turner made the internet worth it. Bow down to the Lady of Winterfell.

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Game of Thrones put Sansa Stark through hell, and she came out the other side as the smartest, subtly sassiest person in Westeros.

In the season eight premiere, Sansa showed Daenerys that her own "Dracarys" is her side-eye, and read the former "cleverest man alive" Tyrion for his naiveté in trusting Cersei.

The Sansa Warriors on Twitter are as passionate as Beyoncé's Beyhive, and Sophie Turner is the biggest one of all.

Turner has unleashed her inner Sansa, responding to sexists, Littlefinger sympathizers, and the biggest troll of all: the president. Here are her best, Sansa-est tweets.

1. When she, like Arya, stood up for Sansa's intelligence.


2. When she calls bullsh*t on a thinkpiece saying that actors aren't allowed to have body image issues.


3. When she was thirsty for her fiancée (that's a good sign).


4. When she told a little girl that it's cool to have a crush on her.


5. When she called out a white supremacist for using her face.

Actual footage of Turner meeting the alt-right.

6. When she called out "twat" Piers Morgan for calling mental illness "fashionable."


7. When she responded to Trump's now-deleted "Winter is coming" meme threatening sanctions against Iran. Geopolitics as normal.


8. When she was diagnosed with Trump Derangement Syndrome.

Same.

9. When she saved a fan's life.


10. When she said that beautiful people are more than just their looks.


11. When she stanned the Stark sisters like she wasn't one of them.


12. When she pitched gun control.


13. When she sassed King Joffrey again.


14. When she stood up for the #MeToo movement.


15. When she stood up for the Stranger Things kids against the paparazzi.


16. When she pointed out that depression is, in fact, real.


17. When she called out a Littlefinger stan (there are Littlefinger stans???)


18. I mean, LITTLEFINGER?!


19. When she called her castmates "sex."


20. When she summed up the political situation.


21. When she called out a creep.


22. When she defined democracy.


23. When she didn't know how to pronounce "Cersei."


24. When she fangirled over Matthew Perry.


25. When she commiserated with Chloe Grace Moretz.


26. When she 'shipped her and Maisie Williams.


27. When she was a completely different person.


28. Mophie 4 lyf.


Man asks if he's in the wrong for feeding his vegan niece milk and cookies, internet digs in.

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Look, there's nothing wrong with being vegan. In fact, it can be great for the environment, and if I'm being completely honest, a lot of vegan food and beverages are delicious. I will absolutely spend five dollars on an oat milk latte, thank you very much.

The problem with vegans comes along when they try to shove their lifestyle down other people's throats. Eat all the sunflower seed pancakes you want, just don't make the rest of us have a bite if we don't want to. And while you're at it, please make sure being vegan isn't your entire personality.

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However, what happens when veganism meets motherhood? A mother is in charge of feeding her child, so is she therefore able to force a vegan diet on her kid? And is that a chill thing to do?

These questions came up in a Reddit thread after SpaceCowboy_82 asked if he was in the wrong for feeding his niece milk and cookies, despite the fact that his sister had her on a vegan diet.

The post reads:

About 8 months ago my sister decided she was going to flip hers and my niece's life upside down. Not only was she leaving her husband, but she was also going vegan and forcing my ten-year-old niece to do the same.

Yesterday there was an emergency at my sister's work which requires her to stay late. She asked me to pick up her daughter which was no problem because she goes to the same school as my kids.

When we got home my kids asked for milk and cookies my niece wanted some too. I remind my kids that their cousin was not allowed to have milk and cookies, so I offered to cut up some fresh strawberries and kiwis instead. My kids love fresh fruit so they decided on that with no protest.

My niece just stood there sulking, went on a rant about how much she hates being a vegan. it kind of broke my heart, she's been through so much in the last few months, really how bad would a little cup of milk and a few Oreos really hurt her. So I decided to serve milk and cookies , my niece gave me the biggest hug ever and told me I was her favorite uncle.

When my sister came to pick up her daughter my six-year-old couldn't keep his mouth shut. She was absolutely livid with me, I told her to calm down, but she wouldn't. I told her she should try not to be so hard on her daughter because she's been through so much lately. But she insisted that I tried to kill her daughter because I knew she was allergic to milk and gave it to her anyways. I quickly called bullshit on that and I reminded her that I have a video of her daughter eating cake and ice cream just last year on her birthday.

As you can imagine, people had some thoughts.

Some people felt the uncle didn't do anything wrong, such as drekiaa, who wrote:

Unless your niece has a legitimate medical reason (or even arguably religious) for going vegan, I don't feel that you need to obey your sister's rules when your niece is adamantly against it.

griffinwalsh saw this as a parenting issue rather than a vegan issue:

I’m just wondering if you think this because its about being vegan or in general. Like if the mother had a no tv rule and she wanted to watch tv do you think its fine? What about no pg 13 movies? What about a rule about no processed sugars? I feel like all these rules are overbearing for a 10 year old.

To me undermining a parents rules for their child makes you an asshole. At the very least it would make me no longer trust you to take care of my child.

And drekiaa came right back with a response:

To me, it entirely depends on their reasoning.

Pushing your personal believes on a child, and said child opposes that belief, is not fair. Unless there is an actual religious, medical, or cognitive concern... I think there is some leeway. These are cookies.

PG-13 movies is an unreasonable example, because at least here, the child is under 13. So that makes sense.

If a parent says, "I don't let my child watch TV because I hate TV." then that's not fair to the child. If it's because the child watches enough TV at their own home, and the parents want them to do something else at my house, then fair. I'll find something else for them to do.

Parents aren't perfect. And aunts/uncles have, in my opinion, some leeway. My family works this way, and it works for us. Maybe not for you, that's your dynamic.

datboy123456789 saw it both ways:

Your sister is clearly being a pleb by forcing her child into a diet that she hates, clearly making her an A-hole

That being said, it’s not your child and you should still probably respect your sister’s decision to make her child go vegan. Shouldn’t have gone against that.

However, I do understand why you gave her the milk and cookies. Personally would’ve done the same, even though I know that wouldn’t be the correct thing to do from a moral stand-point

And CallieEnte was with the mom in some ways:

Sister definitely sucks for forcing her dietary choices on the kid, but OP doesn’t know if kid could have developed a sensitivity/intolerance to milk in the time she hasn’t consumed it. He could have jeopardized kid’s health.

Unless she’s malnourished, I err on the side of respecting someone’s parenting decisions. The kid can talk to her mom about what she wants to eat, and/or make her own food choices when she’s buying her own food.

Overall, people agreed that it was unfair for the mother to force a vegan diet on her child. But some recognized that as a mother, she has the right and responsibility to regulate her daughter's diet. Others felt the kid should be given more freedom over her dietary choices, so long as they weren't hurting her. Looks like this is the unsolved vegan case of 2019.

20 twins share crazy stories that make The Parent Trap look mild.

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Having an identical twin isn't always full of Parent Trap level scheming and shenanigans, but that doesn't mean there aren't endless stories of twins finding themselves in cinematic situations.

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Even if you don't have estranged divorced parents you're trying to prank into falling back in love, having a sibling with your same face inevitably lands you in some funny situations.

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In a recent Reddit thread, twins from across the world chimed in with some of their juiciest "wrong twin" stories, and some of these need to be fleshed out into screenplays.

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1. texanlifeforme almost got in trouble in front of their girlfriend.

"Identical twin here attending the same college as my twin brother. I was walking with my girlfriend at the time during my freshman year, and another girl approached me and said, “Ohhh so this is why you didn’t want to call me back.” I didn’t know this girl, but it also didn’t register at the time that she was referring to my twin—who I assume ghosted her."

"I told this girl she must be mistaken, and she says, “No I know it’s you—we met in the dorms.” And then it clicked for me. So I explained that she was confusing me for my twin brother, but the most awkward part is that she didn’t believe a word I was saying and thought I was just using the twin story to try to get rid of her. I had her call “me” at the time and show her that my phone wasn’t ringing and that she was calling my twin. My girlfriend was upset at first, but then basically realized the humor in the situation as it was unfolding."

2. Fantom1107's twin friends are pros at rolling with the punches.

"Twin friends from high school and I all went to the same college. I was eating lunch outside the cafe with one of them and this guy comes up and starts talking to him. Solid couple minutes of conversation and the guy walks away. My buddy says "I have no idea who that was, must know my brother" and continues eating like nothing happened. They both are the type who can shoot the shit with anyone so they fucked with people all the time."

3. dingusfunk's own grandparents mixed them up.

"My grandparents were getting us ready for kindergarten. They put the wrong nametags on us but we did not notice. I was just sitting in class and all of the sudden the teacher goes "(my brothers name), you're in the wrong class". (We had different teachers). She brings me to my brother's classroom, and takes him to hers."

"I was so scared I didnt say anything, and I felt like I did something wrong. After a few minutes I was so freaked out about being in an unfamiliar place and seeing all the strange faces I started crying. My brothers kindergarten teacher figured out what was wrong and sent us back to our real classrooms.

Me and my twin are fraternal and look nothing alike. This was like the 3rd week of class."

4. Mypronounsarexandand gladly received their twin's compliment.

"Me and my twin are both in the same major at the same school. I’m told we stand out a bit and are quite recognizable cause people see us all over and never realize we’re twins."

"Anyways, on one of my trips to college a couple months back I had a guy come up to me and confess how much he looked up to me about how I always sit in the front show up every day and seem smart and always do well. He was talking about my brother cause I didn’t show up to class too often."

5. DarrenEdwards dated a girl who had twin problems.

"I dated a girl who's twin was a life drawing model on campus. Guys were always approaching her when they mistook her and assumed that since they had seen her nude, she was easy."

6. danopeneye's brother got mixed up on his wedding day.

"I'm the brother of (older) identical twins and during the eldest's wedding (J), his twin (P) and myself were his groomsmen."

"As part of this, we were greeting guests as they arrived, shaking their hands and saying welcome etc. It didn't take long for guests to start congratulating P on his wedding, causing him to laugh and correct them... at first."

"A lot of J's wife's family were from overseas, so they certainly hadn't met P before and may not have even known that J had a twin - so once they started arriving, it became a constant stream of people congratulating P on his wedding - eventually he stopped correcting them and just slightly awkwardly saying "Thanks.".

7. kylegtfan got slapped on behalf of his brother.

"We were in middle school, was on the school bus and heard someone call my twin brothers name “J”. I turn and see his girlfriend extremely upset, and she slaps me right across the face, I was just dumbfounded and didn’t say a word as she walked away.

I passed the message along to him later with a much harder slap. Good times!"

8. laurosaurus_rex's dad and uncle are pros at messing with people.

"This was my dad’s story, but he and my uncle look EXACTLY alike (to the point where their wives of 2+decades have confused them). When they were in college my dad was the lead in a show and my uncle came to see it opening night. My uncle saw his chance and, while my dad was in the bathroom, burst through the curtains and said “that’s it! I’ve had it! I can’t work with these people anymore” and stormed off. The director was basically shitting himself bc nobody knew that my dad had a twin until my dad came back and (once he saw everyone’s faces) basically said “yeah, my twin is coming tonight. He messed with y’all, right?”

9. E_Logic got threatened with jail.

"My twin had recently joined the Navy and was at boot camp. I on the other hand, was walking around the grocery store when a man came running up to me in a panic. He began to shout, "What in the hell are you doing here?! You're going to go to federal prison!" A bit shocked, I assumed it was just some crazy person, and started to back away but he followed."

"So, I said "Sir, I don't know what you're talking about." He then proceeded to say my twins name and then I started laughing. He still very panicked and now angry asked why I thought this was funny. I explained I am such-and-such's twin. He didn't believe me until I finally pulled my I.D. out to prove I was who I said I was. He then apologized and explained he was her enlisting officer and was very concerned when he saw me."

10. little-red-f0x enjoys their double life.

"I’ve got a twin who works at Starbucks. I always get an employee discount!"

11. SilentPear's friend aged much quicker than their twin.

"Had a coworker who had kids 5 years before his twin. He started looking so much older people just assumed he was an older brother. Guys at the gym would come up to him thinking he was the other brother and tell hook he looked like shit. Other way around, too; guys would come up to his brother and tell him he looked great thinking it was my friend. The difference was crazy."

12. FederalCollege had to start yelling their identity.

"I transferred to my twin brother's university. By that point, he had already become friendly with a lot of people on campus (students and faculty alike) and was a "face" of the university. Meanwhile, I was a new student and didn't even know my way around. It's not really one event, but the culmination of it being a repeated thing when someone would wave at me, or run up to talk to me, and I'd have to explain that I'm not my brother. And that "no, I'm not fucking with you. Yes, I know we look exactly the same. And yes, I'm pretty certain I'm not my brother."

"It got bad enough that I had a knee-jerk reaction to just yell out "I'm not [my brother's name]" whenever I noticed anyone trying to get my attention. Sometimes a conversation would go on for minutes of that person just non-stop talking before I finally got a voice in to tell them that I don't know who they are."

"My brother ended up telling me that he heard I bumped into these people and that they said I was really awkward as if there's a non-awkward way out of that situation."

13. Dexter_Bates made the mistake of counseling at the same camp as their twin.

"My twin brother and I were counselors at a summer camp. We were in different huts so we led different aged kids for a week. Whenever I would pass the kids he was counseling or vice-versa, they would scream confused and ask many questions. It became a daily debacle."

14. jesus_crimmity accidentally sexually harassed their girlfriend's twin.

"I'm not a twin, but I'm dating one. I came up behind my girlfriends sister and smacked her ass, they share clothes sometimes and look EXACTLY alike especially from behind. It was so awkward that I have to say my girlfriends name to confirm it's really her."

15. emiliejack's twin students ended up pranking themselves.

"I’m a teacher and when I was student teaching there were twin girls. They were super cute and very hard to tell apart. I finally got to the point where I could tell which was which. One morning I confidently called them by their names, but they corrected me, I made note of what they were wearing and kept them straight the rest of the morning."

"Well we were going over a lessons and I call on Twin A she began to cry and said I’m not twin A I’m twin B. They decided that they were going to switch on us that morning, but then got upset when we called them the wrong name. We laughed so hard about it after the fact and their mom was appalled that they were already switching places in Kindergarten!"

16. Lurkist almost got beat up for teasing the wrong twin.

"Had a buddy from the skatepark who had a twin. This guy and I would always shit talk each other. One day I see him and walk up to him: "What's up dipshit? The fuck you dressed like that for? It's not gonna make your busted ass skate any better".

"Excuse me?"

"You go deaf too dumbass?"

"He gets in my face and starts asking what my problem is. I'm laughing the entire time thinking we're playing a game, until he shoves me hard. I fall backwards and look at him and yell "Shawn! The fuck man!?"

His face completely changed, "I'm Shane dude. Shawn's twin". I didn't know he had a twin. Next time I see Shawn he cracks up, "heard my brother almost beat your ass".

17. magneticanisotropy got accused of cheating.

"So, this happened to me about a year ago. I currently live in Singapore, and was out for dinner with my girlfriend at the time. My girlfriend bends over and quiety tells me there is this woman walking around taking pictures of me, so I look over and she is trying to be very discrete about it..."

"She sees me notice her, and comes over looking very angry, and angrily asks me what the hell I'm doing and how I could cheat on my wife... And I'm completely dumbfounded... I have no idea who this women is, or who she is talking about, so I just tell her. that I've never been married."

"She proceeds to just stare at me, and then asks me "Wait, are you (name of my twin brother)."

Me: No, that's my brother..."

"At which point she proceeds to turn red and start apologizing profusely. Turns out this woman was on holiday and works with my sister-in-law. My brother was also on travel for work in China, not Singapore, and she assumed that he was lying to meet up with my girlfriend and cheat on my sister-in-law. It was an awkward as hell experience but made for a good laugh at least."

18. AngelFinally nannies mischevious twins.

"I'm a nanny. Took care of 7-year-old identical twin boys (names started with D and B) after school. One day they decided to wear the same clothes to see who they could trick. When they got off the bus they tried to get me to tell them apart. I stalled by having them stand side by side so I could really look at their faces. After less than a minute they started elbowing each other. Then one said, "B, stop!" and they both knew the gig was up."

"Edit: I attempted to fix the "seven identical toddlers" problem. And y'all are hilarious with these D & B names! I'll tell you that at least one of these guesses is half right."

19. TeReese1006 is friends with triplets who all had kids at the same time.

"I have some triplet friends who all still live in the same town. The funniest story they had was that appently all three of them impregnated their respective wives within a 2 year span and all three wives chose the same ob/gyn. The OB didn't know the names of the husbands, only saw the (last name) baby and the woman's name. All three said the OB was super rude and mean to them until finally triplet 1 and triplet 2 had appointments back to back. The OB came in and saw both of them, did a double take, and asked 'there's more than one of you?' They of course replied, 'yeah, there's three, we're triplets.' I guess this OB thought one guy had impregnated 3 different women and was just rolling with his adultery...."

20. swornorbs's dad almost got beaten up by a gang.

"Not about me but about my father who has an identical twin. I wasn’t told the specifics of this story but basically my uncle had quite a bad gambling problem which lead to him borrowing money off some dodgy people. Unsurprisingly my uncle lost all the money gambling and so was unable to pay back the people he had borrowed it from."

"Idk who these people where but I’m guessing that they are some sort of gang or some shit because they then started searching for my uncle to basically beat the shit out of him for not paying them back but instead found my dad. Apparently my dad was only moments away from having his knees busted before he convinced them he wasn’t my uncle by showing them some pictures of them together. Luckily my dad wasn’t harmed and the whole experience caused my uncle to get help for his addiction."

25 Memes Men Probably Won't Find Funny.

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“Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.”

--Rashida Jones

Tag your gal pals in these hilarious memes, laugh, and feel beautiful, because you are.

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Therapists vented what they wish they could tell their patients. Your life sucks because you suck.

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Not all therapists are saints like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting.

Therapists are people too, and they're doing the best not to let on the fact that they're judging you as you bare your soul.

This Reddit thread gave psychologists and other therapists a safe space to say everything they wish they could scream at their patients. Yes, everything is the parents' fault.

1. herr_leutnant sums it up well:

Your kid is sh*tty because you are sh*tty.


2. The buck stops here, Theduckisback.

You’re a grown man, stop making your problems your mothers problems, she’s got good intentions but she’s enabling all your worst behaviors and addictions, and you know that you’re taking advantage of that.

To the mom: there’s no medal for “loving your son the most” you are an enabler, you acknowledged this. Which is a good first step, but if it does not change your behavior towards him, it’s meaningless. Stop making excuses for him, stop letting him take advantage of you. Because if you don’t, the rest of your family has stated that they are going to limit contact with you. You’re risking relationships with every other person in your life for an exploitative, codependent one with your son.


3. I knew it, isnt_existence_crazy!

with great majority of teen clients, "you're a normal teenager but your mom/dad/parents are absolutely batsh*t"


4. gabrielaalsr, turn off the gaslight.

I once had a guy come in because he was cheating on his wife but didn’t want to leave because of their kids, the guy was adamant that he wanted to have therapy either with his mistress or his wife and couldn’t decide with which one he was going to stay, he decide to bring in the wife and I had to sit there listening to him deny the cheating and project his guilt into his wife telling her that she was the one cheating, obviously I couldn’t tell the wife the truth but if I could I would have told her: “He’s cheating on you, you’re not insane, get the f*ck out.”


5. Easy to remember, from twincityraider:

spoil your kids, you’ll raise your grandkids.

raise your kids, you’ll spoil your grandkids


6. Very fine people on both sides, queerpsych.

During couples sessions: She/he is a toxic ass and you need to gtfo of this relationship. I don’t do couples anymore. I’ve found it exceedingly difficult for me to not take a side.


7. obvious_freud needs you as much as you need them.

Thank you for talking to me, having to care about you makes me forget my own sh*t for a moment.


8. Fly the helicopter away from DungeonTheIllFigure.

To a lot of parents of my patients: You are the problem not your kids stop trying to live their lives for them. And to the religious one: every teenager wonders about sex you backwards dumbf*ck, no one has corrupted them.


9. Franz_McN has seen it all.

The most common:

Today I'm in no mood of your evasions and resistances to what we're trying to work with so stop talking about your damn cats!

I care for you, but we're not friends, I'm trying to be as objective as I can so back off

I don't see the similarities between you and the fictional character you admire, I'm sorry.

No one is forced to love you for what you are, we're just exhorted to respect you and recognize your dignity as a human being, so stop bugging that woman for not loving you for your fatness, your intellect and your medieval hygiene habits, so settle for the type of woman that likes your type or change and be the type of man that attracts the type of woman that you have idealized. (the insecurities of this man were so huge it was dangerous to say even the first part of this sentence without risking myself of having his mental breakdown in front of me)

I'm a clinical psychologist but since 2014 gave up on giving therapy and entered to the Human Resources stuff.


10. Namaste, forteruss.

"No, it wasnt your reiki sessions that helped you dear, it was coming here once a week for months, but yeah, let me just smile and say how good is that reiki for you"


11. Tell us how you really feel, LustfulGumby.

Your wife cheated on you because you treated her like a slave for years. You are a horrible parent who refuses to consider for a moment how your kids feel when you tell them she is a whore,while they cry for her. You are not owed a woman and if you leer at me again or make a comment on my body your option for therapy will be a man or one of the other women you have told me,aren't attractive enough to help you.

The problem in your life is you. Stop hiding behind your pseudo intellectual BS ". Stop being a martyr. Make a God damn choice and go in that direction. Stop blaming everyone else for causing your issues and stop shutting me down when we approach anything of value.

27 Utterly Random Memes Everyone Should Laugh At This Morning.

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Mornings suck, but not for you. You've got memes to laugh at. Hell yeah. You've got this!

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