5. Nancy Pelosi, because the Left think she's stupid and the Right thinks she's drunk.

Just in case you didn't think that the mass mobilization of Russian trolls spreading pro-Trump, anti-Hillary propaganda in 2016 was scary enough, the disinformation campaigns are upping the ante!

More than 10 million people have watched a doctored video on Facebook of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi slowed down to appear like she's slurring her words. Despite its clear intention to smear the most powerful Democrat (and woman!) in the country, Facebook has refused to take the video down, officially announcing its policy for 2020:"even if it's bad for democracy, any post is cool if it makes us money."

While politics plunges into new depths of horror, Speaker Pelosi continues to stand firm against using the powers of her office to begin the Constitution's remedy of a lawless executive: what Trump himself calls "the i-word." (Impeachment, not incest. Trump has no problem saying "incest.")

The Democratic caucus is divided on whether or not to actually do something about the crimes and misdemeanors outlined by the conservative Robert Mueller in The Mueller Report, and also everything we've seen in the president's words and deeds.

Meanwhile, progressive congresswoman Rep. Rashida Tlaib said on Meet the Press that Democrats are "moving towards" impeachment over Trump's smorgasbord of presidential misconduct.

Even though she isn't hammered, Pelosi still appears to be losing control.

4. Kate Middleton, because she's going to have to spend time with another entitled adulterer.

The birth of her nephew Archie Harrison (Harry's son!) might have given Royal watchers something to talk about other than Prince William's cheating scandal for a time, but an upcoming international summit of famous philanderers is going to make a bad time for Kate Middleton even worse.

Next week, Donald Trump is headed to the United Kingdom for a state visit, where he'll get to go to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen and enjoy a non-McDonald's meal. The Duchess of Cambridge has been instructed to "dust off the royal tiaras" to meet Donald Trump, who has famously tweeted about her boobs.

"Kate Middleton is great - but she shouldn't be sunbathing in the nude - only herself to blame," he tweeted back in 2012.

Many people want to see her breasts and the President of the United States is one of them, goddammit!

CNN reports that while he is excused from the banquet, Prince Harry will have to meet Trump for a private lunch with the Queen. Trump is bringing all his large adult children to his state visit to the United Kingdom in hopes of consolidating his dynasty with a crossover episode of "royal" families. While Ivanka jets around the world pitching herself as an American princess, the real American princess—Meghan Markle—will get to skip the pageants having just given birth.

Babies truly are a blessing.

3. Ariana Grande, because Madame Tussaud's may or may not be trolling her with her old nose.

Madame Tussaud's either didn't get the memo that Ariana Grande has a new face, or they're making like one of her ex-fiancées and using her for fame.

The House of Wax unveiled their latest creepy, life-size replica of the planet's most favorite ponytail, and fans are roasting its utter lack of accuracy. After a poll asking Arianators whether they'd like to see "Classic Ari", "Princess Ari", or "Sassy Ari", Madame Tussaud went with "Not Ari At All."

One particular feature that throws the whole thing off is that Fake Ari appears to have Ari's real nose, whereas Real Ari now has a fake nose. A commenter performed the rhinoplasty via Photoshop and it really makes all the difference.

There's no denying that Real Ari has gotten work done, on both her nose and skin color.Gossip sites are theorizing that Madame Tussauds put together waxwork that's deliberately sh*tty in order to have her fans talking about Madame, and it looks like it worked.

Grande has seen the photos and she agrees... the statue sucks.

Her plastic surgeon agrees.

2. The drunk man who drove drunk to a police station to pick up a woman charged with drunk driving.

It's like Bonnie and Clyde...but dumb!

New Jersey man Sebastian Rehm thought he was doing a mitzvah by driving to the police station to pick up a friend who had been arrested for drunk driving. One problem: he was drunk himself.

The Associated Pressreports that the 24-year-old "smelled of alcohol" when he got to the station, which is like diving into a shark tank all covered in blood.

Both of the drunk drivers were eventually picked up by another driver who wasn't drunk. Noticeably.

1. The guy whose wife "fell off a cliff," turning him into a Twitter meme.

YouTuber Shonduras (real name: Shaun McBride) dramatically described seeing his wife take a tumble as a terrifying, near-death experience.

While on vacation in Hawaii, McBride wife's Jenny tripped and fell a little, which the vlogger calls a cliff dive.

The fall was so bad that McBride didn't even turn off his camera on his way to help her up, and it was so traumatizing that they milked it for a whole 19-minute interview.

To many, the fall looked familiar, and launched a meme celebrating some of the great falls in history.

Falling isn't funny...it's hilarious.

As we all know, there are some things that are famously not safe for work -- or NSFW if you're young & hip. Nudes, porn, and beating your meat in the bathroom all fall within this category. And while most of us know to keep these things at home, some people find themselves either witnessing or participating in them at their places of work. Shit happens, man.

And while these scenarios are usually embarrassing and cringe worthy in the moment, they are pretty hilarious in hindsight. That's why I was delighted when I stumbled across a reddit thread of people sharing their most epic NSFW stories, as prompted by reddit user Kong_Hong. Here are ten of the most ridiculous, wild, innapropro, and tbh sometimes gross stories. Enjoy!

1. The Fire in the Supply Closet (CornyHoosier)

A few weeks after I started at a new company they hired a new (and very pretty) secretary near me. Every dude at the office was getting shot down by her, except some guy on the 2nd floor. The guy was your typical jacked, tan, slick hair sorta guy that can win a woman over with a smile. He won her attention and every day I'd overhear him flirting with her hard over at her desk.

Annnnyway ... fast forward another couple months to some random workday. I need to go do a supplies run and my boss needed some stuff too, so we take a walk over to the small supply closet. He unlocks the door and we walk in ... to see the secretary and this tan guy going at it hard. There was a good few seconds of us all making direct eye contact, when my boss closes the door and walks away without saying a word. I wasn't sure what to do so just sort of go back to my desk.

An hour goes by and I still haven't seen my boss or the secretary and I'm not sure any of my coworkers would believe it if I said anything. All of a sudden my desk phone rings, the lady on the line is with HR and wants me in her office now. I get in there and see the secretary crying in one seat in the entrance area beside my boss, who is pale as a ghost. In an office a few feet away the tan dude is having a screaming match with the HR woman. When I walk in a similar moment occurred to the storage closet and everyone froze and locked eyes. HR woman comes out of her office and has the tan dude go into her coworkers office while she invites me in to talk.

All of a sudden, when I'm in the office with the HR lady, she starts breaking down crying. I mean sobbing and snoting everywhere. Unsure what to say or do I ask if she's okay. She apologizes and then tells me that the tan guy is her husband. I have no idea what to do so just kept saying "it'll be okay" over and over (first thing that popped into my head). After a few minutes of her crying she straightens herself out, has me confirm what my boss said happened then told me I was good to go back to my desk.

A bit later my boss comes to my desk and asks/tells me we're going to lunch. The moment we're in his car he lets out this huge sigh and blankly says, "I had no idea they were married".

2. The Prank Porn Caller (ndnd_of_omicron)

I used to work in a call center for a major satellite TV provider.

Other than the usual perv that would call to be gross, we had one dude who would call and just make us read off porno titles:

"What do yall have?"

"Backdoor sluts 9, busty blondes 2, etc"

All the while he would just beat his meat to ladies reading the names of dirty movies....

3. The Big Question (blueyb)

Not me, but a past co-worker - we'll call him Bob Smith. He had logged in to a shared computer in our lab one day, and he pulled up Outlook, and then turned around to do something with his phone while Outlook loaded.

Well, let me tell you, our corporate mail filter failed that day. I walk in to see Bob turned away from the screen, and on the screen, in the Outlook preview pane, nearly full-screened, was an email:

<in huge letters> BOB SMITH, ARE YOU GETTING ENOUGH BIG BLACK DICK

and of course, this lovely email was accompanied by a picture showing exactly what they were talking about, just in case you were unsure.

I try to suppress a laugh, and just say to him "Well, Bob, are you?"

He looked at me "Am I what? What are you talking about". I point to the screen. He can't hit that delete button fast enough.

The words "Well, are you?" - with no further context for anyone else overhearing, became a running joke between us.

4. The Stab in the Back (Enna_Nailo)

Telling my friend’s story (with her permission of course)

My friend had a big interview this day. She studied nutrition in college, and was interviewing with a hospital in Boston to work on their dietetics team. She went to the interview, and met with the hospital worker, sat down and chatted for a bit. It was going well, so the interviewer asked if she wanted a tour of the area of the hospital she would be working in. She agreed, and the hospital was beautiful, but the interviewer seemed a bit awkward during the tour. She figured this was their way of politely ending the interview when they weren’t interested, and tried to brush the awkwardness off and compensate by being more energetic, which only seemed to make the interviewer even more awkward. Finally, at the end of the tour when she was leaving, the interviewer admitted that she had a lovely sweater, but there was a lacy, black thong stuck to her back from static. She had been parading around the hospital trying to talk herself up, all the while walking around with a thong displayed for all to see. Needless to say, she didn’t end up working there, and to this day jokes about how if she’s ever dying and we need to send her to a hospital, how she’d rather die than be admitted there.

5. The Beauty of Marriage (imisswholefriedclams)

I caught a couple of married co-workers going at in the parking lot. They're married, just not to each other.

6. The Pool Party (RyCohSuave)

I was at a national sales meeting in Orlando for the company I work for, we had just launched a new product that we added to our existing line. Just south of 200 sales reps - most between 20-35 years of age - working super hard to memorize, present and perform for the company brass for an entire week.

Midway through the week, we were given the second half of a day off. Everyone took to the pool. We had a two drink limit on our company tab, but others went a little harder. So imagine, a bunch of young and vibrant salespeople getting together and having a great time at the pool. Drinks involved, tons of sun, everyone having a blast. Our company's reps have taken over the pool area.

Little by little, one end of the pool starts to notice two people toward the center. A married fella getting just about wrist deep into married female coworker while sloppily making out right in front of more than a hundred acquaintances at our company. Everyone starts to notice and it gets quieter and quieter until a woman from HR basically Harry Potter apparates to the pool entrance and quickly walks over to everyone to announce that we all have to close our tabs and go back to our rooms.

The next day, everyone gets ready for our morning meetings and heads in. We find out through the ol' grapevine that these two reps, both in the top 5% of our company in terms of sales were fired on the spot and flown right home that night. I hate to think what they told their spouses when they got home. Bottom line here, don't get fucked up at work meetings and cheat on your spouses in front of over a hundred witnesses.

7. The Freudian Slip (iplayamandalyn)

I don't know if this counts, but I worked for a call center a couple years ago and when we asked someone their name we had to say "And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?" Well, for some fucking reason why, I have no idea, I asked the lady on the phone "And who do I have the pleasure of sleeping with today?" The girl who sits next to me looked at me wide eyed and then I realized what I said and apologized profusely. The lady on the phone just started cracking up and then told me her name was Maryanne.

8. The Pants Dropper (mel2mdl)

Not me, but a close friend.

He worked as a vet tech - cleaning kennels, walking the dogs, changing bandages, etc. He was good friends with the boss lady and she would bring her shepherd mix pups to stay in the kennels some weekends, especially if she was out of town or busy.

One Sunday morning he ran up to take care of the animals and the pups were there. They love to play, so, after cleaning and caring for the other animals, he went into their run and was tossing the ball and rough housing with these two dogs. One dog jumped on him from behind and its paw slid into his front pocket, pulling down his pants.

Right at this moment, with his pants around his ankles, one dog in front waiting and the other behind him, he realized that maybe today was NOT the day to go commando... especially as his boss walks in at that precise moment to see him, with her beloved puppers, hanging out in all his glory.

He called me when he got home laughing and crying. His boss simply took the dogs and walked out without saying a word. Fortunately, it wasn't a rom-com movie, so he was able to explain the next day. Her only comment was "let's remember to wear underwear from now on, okay?"

9. The Walk In (thesoccerone7)

Conceived my daughter in a restaurant freezer. Only place that didnt have cameras. My wife and I were drunk after my shift. Well, all my coworkers wanted my child's middle name to be Walkin after that.

10. The Glass Door (pm_me_a_left_nipple)

For a while I was sort of dating our Secretary . One day after work after everyone had gone home, she came into my office and we ended up having a great time on my desk. About half way through I picked her up and pushed her against the glazed glass wall of my office while she was straddling me. After I got tired, she turned around facing the glass and we continued until I finished. I had forgotten about the security cameras in the hallways and entrance. About 3 days later I get to work and there is a DVD+r on my desk, with a note, "Hope you had fun" and it was of the camera that points almost directly at my office because it is on a corner. You could a lot more than I thought you could through those glazed windows. Security guy is a either blackmailing me or a bro.

To be on twitter is to regret tweeting. One of the hallmark experiences of social media is suffering viral foot-in-mouth disease, an affliction that can only be cured with time and the short memory of the internet.

The longer you spend time online, the more likely you'll feel compelled to post an increasing number of passing thoughts, and statistically, quantity does not always lead to quality. This being said, when other people put their foot in it, it's pretty entertaining for the rest of us. If nothing else, because we can secretly relate to saying very stupid words and then subsequently regretting them.

So, in honor of the fact that we are all just nervous meat-bags bumbling around putting our feet in our mouths (and NOT liking it), I have curated a handful of refreshingly awkward Twitter exchanges from people who have since undoubtedly became familiar with the delete button.

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"I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them."

– Reese Witherspoon

Of course, you love your kids, but sometimes they drive you right up the friggin' wall. These memes totally nail what it's like to be an overworked and underappreciated mom or dad. Laugh along with these hilarious parenting memes and watch your stress melt away.

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HBO's documentary The Last Watch took fans behind the scenes of season eight, going deep into just how hard everybody but showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss worked to make the show the best it can be. The table read, the club sandwich, and a certain unnamed soldier became perfect fodder for memes. Here are the best ones.

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Being pregnant comes with a lot of pains -- back aches, morning sickness, and nausea to name a few. But what's even worse is dealing with all the dumbass men who think they are entitled to telling you what you should and should not do while pregnant. I believe the technical term for this is 'pains in your ass.'

British comedian Tiffany Stevenson took to Twitter to complain about this particular kind of pain. According to Stevenson, she witnessed a male Starbucks employee telling a pregnant woman that she shouldn't order something with caffeine in it. Brb, rolling my eyes so hard that they fall out and I have to go to the ER.

Steven's thread read:

Other people who read the post were NOT having it.

And many had experienced similar situations.

People made sure to drag this dum-dum Starbucks barista.

Some had some great examples of how to handle a situation like this.

And one here came up with a term for this BS.

Democratic presidential front-runner and known resenter of millennials Joe Biden is at it again.

Practically doing the writing staff at The Onion's job for them, he decided last night to publicly call a child "good-looking." He then used her as a political prop and manhandled her shoulders.

Not as bad as Trump tonguing a college student's head, but bad.

Washington Post reporter Felicia Sonmez broke the story on Twitter, calling Biden's smooth move "somewhat odd."

Yes, the former veep not only commented on the child's appearance, but also felt a need to put his hands on her shoulders. The poor girl.

Making this doubly groan-inducing, Sonmez points out that Biden literally just released a video saying he was totally down with the whole personal space thing.

There's also video of the incident, which will make anyone of sound mind go, "Buddy, come on."

Wil Gafney floats the theory that maybe Joe thought this was totally okay because he commented on the girl's intelligence, as well. This is so plausible and so depressing.

Note to men: it makes us want to swan dive off a cliff when you say any variation of the phrase "beauty and brains."

Let's keep in mind this is no "grab them by the pussy." Compared to what Trump's said and done, it's small potatoes. But it's still gross. I'm sure every woman has a memory of the first time a full grown man commented on her appearance or invaded her personal space when she was a little girl. To the men who do this: what is the point?!

In addition to concern about the little girl, people are worried about Biden's poor staff. How many times do you think they've explained to Uncle Joe that commenting on women's looks is a no-go these days? Maybe they forgot to specify that prepubescent girls' looks are also off the table?

The good news is pretty much no one's sticking up for him.

Mehdi Hasan made the most salient point of all: Biden won't be going away until at LEAST next February. Can his aides please have a talk with him before then?

Sonmez added that Biden's staff refused to comment. Guess they're doubling down on the whole "limited exposure" thing.

As of a few hours before this news broke, Biden was still dominating at early primary polls. And Trump seems fairly shaken up by him (and Bernie Sanders), too.

It's hard to believe we've got more than a year until the 2020 election. Hope everyone likes hearing gaffe-prone white men over 70 speak their minds with no consequences!

We all have sexual deal-breakers. It's a bummer, but sometimes you just have to interrupt a date to say "uhhh sorry, just remembered I have to go to a, umm, birthday party!" at 11 pm on a Tuesday because the person you're getting intimate with talked to you in a baby voice. Someone recently asked Reddit, "what's a sexual deal-breaker for you in a relationship?" Here are some of the best, cringiest responses, to remind you to ask your partner what they're into sexually before the clothes come off:

1.) Via gullybards:

Please wash your a*s.

2.) Via Scro0pyN0opers:

Not stopping when the safeword gets dropped. Someone who does that is dangerous and its a huge red flag that they don't care about your wellbeing.

AMEN to that!

3.) Via DanielIRLP:

Maybe a bit late but who cares, once a girl asked me to bring my dog

but when i asked what for she said that she wanted him to join us

never got anywhere near her.

4.) Via LithiumFireX:

Taking offense of every single suggestion (not demand). If we can't communicate without the fear of pissing you off how are we supposed to know what we like or don't like?

5.) Via stickwithplanb:

I was once told by someone that they have a sexual fantasy of getting an STD.

Fucking goodbye.

6.) Via FearlessLingonberry:

One came up for me when I was dating a woman who had been sexually abused in early childhood...she wanted me to roleplay that she was a toddler and I was an adult who was molesting her. It's not that I was judgmental about that, I can understand how that could be healing to re-enact that in a situation where she was actually in control, but it was way outside the boundaries of what I was comfortable with. I said no and our relationship went to shit immediately after that.

7.) Via reibish:

Not understanding that what your last partner(s) did is not a blueprint for what your current partner(s) should do or would like and yes, you do have to take time to get to know each person's likes, limits, and respective sex drives

8.) Via solger304:

Never initiating sex it feels the worst thing in the world when you have been in a relationship and have never had your girlfriend just climb all over you and want to fuck your brains out it makes you feel very unattractive and that sex is a just something they don't like

9.) Via smuggles908:

When they start getting mad at me if I don't want sex. It quickly turns into.. "Who's the other girl" "Are you gay" "Every guy always wants sex" "My ex always wanted to f*ck" "So you think I'm ugly"

10.) Via wwwooowwwzzzaaa:

When their ideas about women's pleasure are the same as DJ Khalid's

11.) Via TizneTheCoalMonster:

Smell & cheating.

12.) Via ROLLTHEWAVE:

Wanting to put anything in my pp.

Edit: I’m a guy

(Important distinction)

13.) Even CybilStrings has limits:

Im pretty open sexually, you want to piss on me? Sure I guess, if it makes you happy?

Want to get tied up? I want to tie you up, cool.

Want to do weird sh*t we cant tell anyone else about and will regret when the afterglow wears off? AWESOME! Me too!

....You want to take a sh*t on my chest? Nah thats gonna be a no from me dog

14.) Via Chordata1:

Hygiene. You better smell clean both body and breath.

15.) Via ZestyDragon70:

BABY TALK during sex.

You can goo goo GO now.

16.) Via ScousePenguin:

Once brought a girl home, took off her clothes and she stank of ham, wasn't overly pleasant.

Okay this blew up, it wasn't her vag that smelt it was her skin.

17.) One that many women are all-too-familiar with. Via OolongGosling:

When the other person only focuses on themselves and sex finishes when they finish

18.) Via cbessemer:

Refusing to stop calling me “Daddy”. I have a kid, he calls me that. Please don’t.

Please only call him DAD.

19.) Via FuckCazadors:

I’m not getting involved in anything to do with shi*ting.

20.) Via mattehkun:

People who are super quiet. not a single moan, no heavy breathing.. like, are you actually enjoying yourself?? bc I'm worrying that I'm doing a sh*t job and that's a huge turn-off for me. Edit: y'all, I'm silent when I'm on my own too, I don't think it's that unusual?? But when I'm with someone it's a totally different story.

What are your deal-breakers? Mine is when he won't let his dog join :( JK JK JK JK JK.

It's hard as hell to wake up in the morning, but once you start laughing at these hilariously random memes, you will be glad you did.

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An 18-year-old influencer with 2.6 million followers has started a discussion about marketing, influencer culture, and emotional manipulation after sharing a now deleted post about her failed t-shirt brand launch.

As with most macro influencers, Arii relies on endorsements and partnerships with brands to keep her lifestyle afloat, which means having millions of followers isn't enough in itself, you need followers who will engage with your social media and actually buy products.

In her now deleted post, Arii shared that the initial launch of her clothing line was a bust because she was unable to sell 36 t-shirts, the minimum requirement for the clothing company she was working with.

The caption read:

"Unfortunately the company that I'm working with goes based on your first drop sales. In order for them to order and make my products (even to keep working with them) I have to sell at least 36 pieces (knowing I've become super irrelevant, I already knew it was gonna be hard) but I was getting such good feedback that people loved it and were gonna buy it. No one has kept their word so now the company won't be able to send out the orders to people who actually bought shit and it breaks my heart."

Screenshots of her post quickly went viral, and started a discussion about how being a successful influencer requires actual engagement with your followers and a cohesive branding tactic.

People were quick to point out that having a lot of followers who like your photos is different than being influential or having a palpable and clear creative vision.

Also, selling t-shirts falls outside the larger purview of launching a fully fleshed fashion brand or capsule.

A handful of people theorized that the initial fail was purposeful, and possibly a manipulative marketing tactic to get people to pity buy upon a "second" launch attempt.

She has yet to post a follow-up to her now deleted post about the t-shirts, but now that the theories are out, she may get that extra boost of attention she was looking for.

It's almost June, which means time for brands everywhere to flaunt their inclusiveness of the LGBTQ community as a way to sell their products!

But as transparent as their motives may be, it's definitely a huge step forward to see LGBTQ individuals being used to hawk products the way hetero people have been for decades. That's equality, under capitalism. And a huge benefit of this kind of progress is it means more representation of LGBTQ people on-screen. And representation matters.

For example, this incredibly moving and powerful new Gillette ad, which features artist and activist Samson Bonkeabantu and his dad, sends an important message normalizing trans identity and promoting acceptance. The ad shows Samson's dad teaching him how to shave, and if you weep while watching it, as I did, that is okay! Weeping is a healthy behavior and a totally normal response to this video:

Sure, Gillette wants to sell razors. But at least while doing so, they are using their platform to fight transphobia in a time when the Trump administration is doing everything it can to promote hatred, and to strip trans people of their basic rights. And for that, I'll be buying a Gillette razor next time I'm at CVS.

But one person who won't be buying Gillette razors anytime soon is conservative troll "commentator" Tomi Lahren. Hatred is kind of her bread-and-butter, so to speak. So this ad got under her blindingly Caucasian skin. She took to Twitter to share her thoughts on the matter:

"The new @Gillette ad features a transgender boy shaving for the first time," she wrote. "It’s a little much to normalize and promote high-school-aged kids undergoing hormone therapy and gender reassignment. Don’t ya think?"

Bad idea to pose a question to Twitter, especially when that question is really, really dumb, bad AND hateful. And on the eve of Pride Month, no less!

People took Tumor's bait and answered her question, and her terribly transphobic tweet is getting ratio'd to oblivion (internet-speak for EVERYONE HATES IT). And, no, people don't think it's "a little much" to "normalize" trans kids being accepted and finally given the opportunity to be themselves in a world that has been unimaginably cruel towards them. Here are some of Twitter's best responses:

This high school teacher weighed in with some TRUTH:

Some people are even thanking Tim Tams for bringing the ad to their attention:

While others are pointing out what Tum Tum herself has "normalized":

This guy even believes the unbelievable.... that one day old Transphobic Tammy herself might one day see the error in her hateful ways.

Tim Tams a decent human being?? I guess if Donald Trump can be president, almost anything is possible. We'll hold on to hope.

According to multiplereports, Kit Harington has checked himself into a rehab program. Harington is most well known for his starring role as Jon Snow in Game of Thrones. You know, that show we all can't shut up about?

The rehab program is a luxury wellness retreat, and according to Page Six, Harington has been there since before the finale of GoT aired, dealing with stress, exhaustion, and alcohol. Understandably, the ending of a show that he dedicated the last decade of his life to has taken a toll on him.

Upon hearing the news, people gathered on Twitter to give their support, concern, and love.

However, some decided to act distastefully and use Harington's situation as an opportunity to make a joke about the final season GoT.

People were not having that.

We wish him the best and hope he takes all the time he needs.

Lo and behold! Sixty-eight days after he delivered his report to the Attorney General, Special Counsel Robert S. Mueller III has emerged from the shadows to introduce the world to what his voice sounds like.

His voice sounds like that of an aggravated professor begging his class to DO THE DAMN READING. Mueller took to the podium to officially resign from his role of special counsel now that the report has been written, and to highlight the conclusions in said report.

The former FBI director stated that Trump is not NOT a criminal, explaining that the only reason why his office didn't consider charges was because of a longstanding Department of Justice decision that a sitting president can't be indicted. That's a far cry from Trump's (and his handpicked Attorney General with coverups on his resume) insistence that Mueller's report is a "complete and total exoneration."

Mueller's statement was almost as damning for House Democrats as it was for the White House. He was keen to note that while the DoJ can't charge the president with a crime, Congress can, in a process called impeachment.

Impeachment is the remedy to a lawless executive built in by the Founding Fathers, who fought a war against an absolute ruler with no accountability. Mueller was calling on the House to do their damn job, and rebuffing their insistence on stalling until he testifies for them. "Any testimony from this office would not go beyond our report...the report is my testimony," he said.

Democratic presidential candidates—both the ones you have heard of and the ones you haven't—are hearing Mueller's subtext and using "the I word."

AOC—not a presidential candidate until at least 2024—also had a good tweet.

Trump, for his part, isn't even pretending to be innocent anymore. The president took to Twitter to gloat that he wasn't charged, even though Mueller had said that he only wasn't charged because he is president.

What's more important than the president's reaction, however, is the memes.

The ball is in your court, Congress.

Balancing a full-time job and raising kids is a tough juggling act in itself, but its magnified in a culture that doesn't give extensive parental leave and expects employees to act like they're on call even if they're not getting paid. This is, of course, multiplied if you're a single parent navigating the work-life balance on your own.

Sadly, even with increasing open dialogue around parenting in the work place and the ways the US pales in comparison to other countries when it comes to supporting working mothers (and single fathers), the issue of demanding bosses and unflexible workplace culture persists.

So, when the single father and president of the digital agency Wunderman Chicago, Ian Sohn wrote a post on LinkedIn about the workplace culture he cultivated for parents, it immediately went viral.

He wrote about how he doesn't need to interrogate his employees about their personal lives, and he doesn't hold expectations for them to be available to his every whim:

"I never need to know you’ll be back online after dinner. I never need to know why you chose to watch season 1 of “Arrested Development” (for the 4th time) on your flight to LA instead of answering emails. I never need to know you’ll be in late because of a dentist appointment. Or that you’re leaving early for your kid’s soccer game. I never need to know why you can’t travel on a Sunday. I never need to know why you don’t want to have dinner with me when I’m in your town on a Tuesday night."

He went on to share that he resents how infantilized the workplace has become, and how employees are often manipulated into apologizing and over-explaining their lives to demanding bosses. The lack of trust, he wrote, is deeply unhealthy for all parties.

"I never need to know that you’re working from home today because you simply need the silence. I deeply resent how we’ve infantilized the workplace. How we feel we have to apologize for having lives. That we don’t trust adults to make the right decisions. How constant connectivity/availability (or even the perception of it) has become a valued skill."

He finished his post by expressing gratitude for the transparent and understanding bossess and employees he's encountered over the years, and shared that a negative situation with a former boss helped shape his current outlook on parenting in the workplace.

"I'm equally grateful for the trust/respect my peers, bosses and teams show me every day. Years ago a very senior colleague reacted with incredulity that I couldn’t fly on 12 hours notice because I had my kids that night (and I'm a single dad. edit: divorced). I didn’t feel the least bit guilty, which I could tell really bothered said colleague. But it still felt horrible. I never want you to feel horrible for being a human being."

His post was quickly met with gratitude and recognition from fellow parents, and tired employees in general.

Hopefully, as the public conversation about the balance of work and parenting (and life in general) persists, so will the gradual shift in workplace culture.

The number one rule of Game of Thrones is that you don't talk about Game of Thrones spoilers -- at least not without fair warning. In the spirit of this...SPOILERS AHEAD.

Reddit user GOTSpoilerDude posted to the Am I The Asshole (AITA)' page, asking if he was in the wrong for spoiling the Game of Thrones finale for his girlfriend after she failed to make a big deal out of his birthday. This guy is a 'huge birthday guy,' so he felt as if his girlfriend not making any plans for his big day warranted revenge.

Here is his explanation of what happened:

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a year now. Great relationship overall. We've hit a major bump though. Here's what happened:

So I'm not into Game of Thrones. It looks cool, but I've never gotten into it. My girlfriend is a huge fan though. She's read all of the books and has been watching the series since it came out. It's by far her favorite show. The Sunday before last was the huge finale. It also happened to be my birthday. Now I'm a huge birthday guy. For her birthday, back in January, I took her out to one of the best restaurants in my city (Seattle). I also got here a necklace with real gold... and it's not like I have a six-figure income either.

Well, when my birthday came around, guess how she greeted me in the morning: "OMG the game of thrones finale is tonight. I'm literally dying!" Not even a happy birthday to me. It wasn't until we went downstairs that she realized it was my birthday. She made me toast, so that's something, I guess.

Well, I was pretty damn disappointed she had nothing planned for me that day. Not even a gift. She's told me before she's "not a birthday person". I think that's kind of a shitty excuse considering what I've done for her birthday, but okay.

That night, she went to her parents' place to watch the finale with her family. She invited me along, but l wasn't going to watch a show I had no interest in on my own birthday when I would have rather been out on a date with her. But whatever. I was pissed at this point, so I went online and found out what happened. Just as the show was going to start, I texted her this: "Hey babe, tell me how the show goes! Especially the part where Jon kills Daenerys, the throne is destroyed, and Bran becomes king!" Well she sent me a very heated response, basically telling me what a "fucking asshole" I am. An hour and a half later, she calls me, in tears, and asks why I spoiled something she's been waiting for several years for? We didn't have sex that night- in fact she decided to stay at her parents' for the next couple of days. Things have been very shaky since.

So Reddit, AITA for spoiling a TV show while she chose to ignore my entire birthday? I don't see how a show can be that important, plus I apologized. Reddit, what do you think?

Tl;dr: Girlfriend ignored my birthday, so I spoiled a TV show for her

People were quick to point out the flaws in this guy's logic.

Waidawut said:

You're the asshole. you did that stuff for her birthday because you wanted to, not because she wanted you to. If you wanted to do something with her on your birthday, you should have communicated that to her beforehand, or even that day. What you decided to do was passive aggressive and petty, and it's understandable that your gf wants some time apart.

Letsgo_321 said:

You're the asshole. And potentially psychotic. Or at the least overemotional.

You said it yourself. She doesn’t value birthdays like you do. And that’s fine. So be a big boy and communicate your upset with her instead of acting like an asshole.

You aren’t entitled to her time on your birthday whether she had these plans or not. Especially if you two didn’t discuss your birthday prior to the day.

Bonus the asshole for assuming (?) you’d have sex that night when you intentionally upset her in retaliation.

It would be everyone sucks here if you did express interest in doing something for your birthday specifically and she ignored your words and feelings entirely. But you didn’t clarify that.

PurpleProboscis had been in a similar situation and had some words of wisdom:

Who's to say she did want to celebrate her birthday? An ex and I had this exact dynamic and while I loved spoiling him on his birthday, we came to realize the ritual was more for my benefit than his and stopped. He doesn't get to force a nice dinner on her that she may not even want and then turn around and get shitty when she doesn't do the same for him.

realyak also spoke from experience:

From the perspective of someone who is a birthday person with a partner that isn’t you have to compromise. We’ve been together for 4.5 years and each birthday I’ll spoil him with gifts because I like to and take him to his favourite restaurant (that I Hate) for my birthday I pick the restaurant and we agree a day that works for both of us and he lets me buy myself a gift using his card (pre agreed upon limit- which luckily for me has increased over the years). To make a relationship work you have to communicate and compromise everyone sucks here because they didn’t do that.

Others felt that the girlfriend was in the wrong.

EpirusRedux said:

My point is that it doesn’t matter one bit that she doesn’t do birthdays. She doesn’t have the right to decide whether to celebrate someone else’s birthday or not. They discussed it for what appears to be all of a few seconds, and OP clearly did not give her permission to skip his birthday. Frankly, it looks like he assumed that she meant that she didn’t want to do herbirthday anymore. He probably didn’t think that she’d actually skip his birthday, because that’s honestly kind of fucked up.

I don’t give a fuck what anyone says—being aware that your SO has a birthday and choosing not to do anything for it, without having explicit notification from them that it’s ok is a dick move.

It doesn’t matter that she “doesn’t do birthdays”. When it’s for other people, she doesn’t get to decide.

classicnessie said:

I'll have to disagree. If it's your SO birthday bu they don't tell you if they want to do anything, would you simply not do anything? That's unthoughtful. They are under the assumption they are special to you and also if you know they are a bday person, you would want to make them something special or plan a surprise date or something, right? She was lazy on this point. If she wasn't a birthday person, she can be like that on her birthday, not on his. That's inconsiderate.

I do agree with him being petty though, there's better ways to handle being upset and resentful and it isn't spoiling a show finale.

But mostly, people felt this couple had some growing and learning to do.

18hourbruh said:

It does suck, but also it’s their first year dating. They’re learning about each other. She fucked up for sure, but it’s insane to me to not just say it was hurtful and give her the chance to make it up, but instead to ruin something she really wanted. I don’t understand how that’s your instinct if you care about someone.

Relationships require communication, compassion, and honesty. Not much of that was present in this scenario. It's never a good sign when the Game of Thrones finale is causing extreme drama in your relationship.

The moral of the story here is to be clear about your needs and desires with your partner. And maybe don't intentionally destroy something special for them and then be surprised when they get upset. Seeking revenge is never romantic.

While it's fun to look back and re-watch our favorite old television shows and movies, sometimes it can be a little cringe-inducing. Times certainly change quickly and what was once socially acceptable can become taboo, offensive, or just hack comedy overnight. Sitcoms are are usually representative of whatever is funny at the moment, so watching it through a lens of what is funny now isn't exactly fair.

It's pretty expected that television shows and movies made over thirty years ago are going to be wildly different from what is being watched today, but things get especially weird when you decide to watch something from only a few years ago and think, "how did they get away with this?"

When LA-based writer and performer, Eden Dranger tweeted about how problematic "Entourage" is through 2019 goggles, the internet joined in on what else is particularly hard to swallow now.

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Having a lightbulb moment is one of the best feelings in the world, here you are, mulling about your business when an epiphany hits you out of nowhere and catapults you into deep thought or action. Unfortunately, for many of us, lightbulb moments are far and few between and we find ourselves more often facing moments of "WTF," where we realize we have unfortunately made a mistake that will haunt us for days, weeks, and sometimes years to come.

The comfort here, of course, is the fact that none of us are alone in our moments of massive face-palming. Everyone has a gaffe here or there, and in many cases the best way to shake it off is by roasting yourself.

To this very point, commentes in a recent Reddit thread shared some of their most memorable "I've f*cked up" moments, and it'll make you feel infinitely less alone.

1. dontbadgerthewitness accidentally sent their friend to the wrong BBQ.

"Not my fuck up necessarily...but I invited a friend over for a BBQ. He didn’t know anyone and has never been to my house but seemed really eager to go.
So I was a little irritated that he was almost 2 hours late. I was just about to text him when I happened to look over my neighbors fence."

"The neighbor was also having a BBQ. It was like it happened in slow motion. I saw my friend in the neighbors yard chatting up some old lady. Our eyes locked. I saw the realization literally hit his face. I still laugh about it. I swear the guy turned white!"

2. rricenator got in trouble in slow motion.

"The first time I, age 8, dropped the F bomb in front of mom. It was exactly like that scene in Christmas Story. Time slowed as I heard the word exiting my mouth, yet was powerless to stop it. At least no soap for me, though."

3. FuryWhatWhen unleashed a stream of literal shit.

"Direction driller and locator of 10 years here. Drilling in Miami quite a few years ago and was doing a.faily deep road crossing. Half a rod under the road I felt a pop and proceeded to see a 30' tall shit stream shoot out of the road. I had just drilled into a 12" unmarked forcemain sewer. If you have ever seen a 30' stream of raw sewage you will never forget the smell."

4. P_Rigger destroyed their government ID.

"I pulled, what I thought was my expired credit card out of my pocket and ran it through the shredder at work. It wasn’t my credit card. It was my government ID card, which I also need to log onto my work computer."

5. lovelydaysahead underestimated their final.

"While i was doing my human bio test, i realized after handing the paper in that i needed to do two essays instead of one... quickest 5 stages of grief i went through."

6. rfd2115 sent a NSFW group text.

"Sexted a group text instead of my person..."

7. Radiant_Questgiver could have blown up the house.

"A while back I was doing laundry and noticed our washer had a bit of funky smell to it, I looked up some home remedy online that involved baking soda and vinegar and while I was standing at the washer I thought " a cup of bleach wouldn't hurt."

"As soon as I threw it in and started the washer my brain went " HEY! YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T JUST BE MIXING CHEMICALS ALL WILLY NILLY!" So I pulled out my phone and googled vinegar + bleach and just about shat my pants when I read the result."

"Vinegar + bleach = Toxic Chlorine Gas. I proceeded to panic and scream for everyone to get the hell out of the house. Be careful with chemicals people."

8. voice_of_craisin completely missed the boat.

"It's been almost 30 years since this happened and I still have nightmares. Freshman year of college. My first set of college finals. I was totally prepared and ready to take them all. Had almost straight As going into finals. I go to my last one, which was a throwaway 3 credits of introduction to sociology. I sit down ready to ace it and look up at the board to see "Biology 103". Huh, that's weird. I pull out my calendar. The sociology final was yesterday."

9. lantmannenyo risked it all for their reputation.

"When I climbed my schools roof. Was quite a heavy kid, and I was out and about with my cousin and mates. After running around school my friends dare me to go up on the roof and, as I’m not a wuss, I gotta prove to them that I ain’t afraid to go on no roof!"

"So after a while and much help I got up. Ran around up there and had a bit of fun and then I had to get down.... that’s when I knew I fucked up."

"Nothing in sight to help me, all I could do was either call someone to help me ( e,g parents or firemen) or jump. Decided to take the risk and jump, tried to do parkour like I saw in videos, jump and roll you know. Ended with fucking up my foot, calling my parents and driving to the hospital, when questioned said I slipped while playing basketball.

Foot is still fucked up til this day and my mom think it was because of basketball, lol."

10. billbapapa BBQed with TOO much ease.

"The other day I was BBQing, not paying attention. Had a glove on my right hand that's oven safe. Someone handed me a beer and proceeded to talk to me. I took the beer with my right hand."

"I then opened the BBQ and grabbed the top grill with my left (unprotected) hand to adjust it, pulled it half way out before the heat registered. Once it did the realization was pretty instant. The blisters were bad for over a week."

11. james_bond0215 forgot a crucial pizza preparation step.

"Not that exciting but it was my first day at me new pizza job and 20 minutes after I cashed out a pickup order I FROZE and realized: I never sliced that pizza."

12. unevolved_panda forgot the eggs, until they made themselves known.

"Just this morning I heard a weird pop in the kitchen. Had a moment of total confusion, and then remembered that I had started hardboiling some eggs more than 45 mins ago. The pop was a hard-boiled egg exploding."

13. 830_L had a wake up call with their own teeth.

"I had a moment during a dental cleaning about 15 years ago when the hygienist was flossing between my teeth and above the taste of blood from my bleeding gums, there was this overwhelming rotten food/sewage taste from all the crap that got trapped between my teeth and rotted, and was then being pulled out by the floss. That was after she'd spent 30 minutes scraping calculus off my teeth. I was always good about brushing but didn't do anything else back then, and I wore retainers at night, which make your mouth completely nasty. That was the moment when I realized just how awful my dental hygiene was and it disgusted me."

"After that appointment I slowly became obsessed with dental hygiene. At my last cleaning, the dentist told me, "It's obvious that you take very good care of your teeth. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it, because it's working." Thankfully I started doing that at a fairly young age. I do have some fillings leftover from that time and a few teeth that had to have crowns because the fillings started breaking down, but I haven't had a new cavity in a very long time."

"Edit: I have a routine that takes about 10 minutes. I use a waterpik, then floss, brush, and rinse with Crest pro health mouthwash. The waterpik is what made a really big difference with my gums. It flushes food particles from between your teeth and around the sides of your mouth, and stimulates your gums, which is part of what keeps them from bleeding."

14. Longgadogg has ruined their own sleep schedule, many times.

"Going home at 4am even though I have a 7am class, oh and the lights at the living room is on. Walk in seeing my mom sitting at the sofa like a goddamn mafia."

15. PhD_Sucks_Ass could have lost it all.

"As a kid I let the handbrake off in my parents car, I'd watched my brother do it plenty of times before so why couldn't I?

It rolled straight down a steep bank with me in the driver's seat and into a tractor tyre, my parents were fuming for a few weeks. Really it's a miracle I've survived this long!"

16. mejok stood up for his GF and almost faced the sweet release of death.

"Was at a bar, chatting with some friends. My GF was across the room sitting with some other friends. Some drunk dude showed up and started groping her. I jumped up, pushed him away and yelled "fuck off." Then he turned around and I realized he was like twice my size....and not in the fat way....in the tall muscular way. I mean I did the right thing, but if the bartender hadn't leapt over the bar and jumped in between us immediately that guy would have wiped the fucking floor with me. The moment the dude turned around I thought "fuck, this is gonna hurt."

17. jagermeister7 really did themselves in.

"Here is good one which happened last week. I had a little too much beer and passed out at around 2AM. It was couple of hours after I woke up and had this feeling to take a shit but at the same time I felt like throwing up. As I run towards washroom I thought definitely I'm gonna throw up but nothing came out. I was waiting on all four when I decided it's time to take a shit. Big fuckin mistake. Half way through I realised I fucked up. Vomited all over the floor and on my legs. Worse part is I had to sit there 10 more minutes in that puddle while I finish pooping."

18. Portarossa had a date from hell.

"I've told this story before, but I had invited this guy over to my place for dinner after we'd been casually seeing each other for three weeks or so. Things were going pretty well -- we were chatting, getting along like a house on fire, and he was helping me cook dinner -- when I started to feel extremely intestinally unwell. I've always been kind of a private pooper, and I could tell that this one wasn't going to be fun, so I asked him if he'd pop down to the shop at the end of the road to grab a bottle of wine for dinner. He agreed, and toddled off down the street, and as soon as he was gone I raced to the bathroom and relieved myself with something roughly akin to the force of a... well, imagine this, but in reverse. I took a minute to catch my breath, reached over to the toilet roll holder, and came back empty.

Well, shit."

"No matter. I had a full 9-pack of toilet paper in the back room -- I didn't have space to keep it in my tiny bathroom; it was a very small apartment, so I usually just grabbed a roll or two -- and he'd only just gone. I had plenty of time. Cut to me, thirty seconds later, pants around my ankles and my shit-caked bunghole shimmying my way down the central hallway of my flat when I hear a still, small voice from behind me.

^{'Erm...whatareyoudoing?'"}

"Turns out he'd managed to get to the shop and back in record time, and was sitting on my couch in my living room with a perfect, perfect view of my little faecal burlesque. I was framed in the doorway like a goddamn Renaissance painting. It was as though I was presenting myself to him in the worst possible You like? come-on in the history of dating.

It's very difficult to have a civilised dinner after that."

19. younopeme saw smoke and knew there was trouble.

"I was troubleshooting a breaker at work. Fucked up and didn't charge the closing springs before starting up the associated generator. This generator starts at about half of normal operating voltage. When the smoke started rolling out of the switchboard because the charging motor was burning up, I knew I fucked up."

Ahhhhh, toddlers. That beautiful life stage when super-charged cuteness is the universe's way of preventing us from jumping off a cliff over the daily, absolutely psychotic, emotional outbursts over completely irrational issues.

These parents hit the nail on the head in capturing the ups and downs of #toddlerlife.

Some things that have made my toddler cry today:
1. I put pants on him.
2. I wouldn't let him put milk in my change jar.
3. I wouldn't let him slide down my chest into my shirt.
4. I didn't zip his coat right to the top.
5. I helped him shut the front door#toddlerlife#momlife

— Tessa 🇨🇦 (@creamhouseCA) April 7, 2019

Asher: *cries because he’s not on the couch*

Me: *sets him on the couch*

Asher: *gets off the couch after two seconds and proceeds to cry because he’s not on the couch* #momlife#toddlerlife

— Madeline Dickey (@Maddie_Mae1) May 20, 2019

“I think I’m right.” ~ the two-year-old #toddlerlifepic.twitter.com/nfjPIapdN7

— BlannyLA (@BlannyLA) May 29, 2019

Tooth brush, tong, spoons, toothpicks, popsicle tray, neck pillow. #momlife#toddlerlifepic.twitter.com/s0xqh3PvJc

— Wakandagirl (@Wakandagirllll) May 29, 2019

Can we have a ban on dust jackets for children’s books, esp those very distinct from the cover underneath? Because #toddlers are bonko enough as it is without the assist. Thanks! 🐲#WednesdayWisdom#ToddlerLifepic.twitter.com/9V4lIQVlGG

— JustineBeGrumpy (@JBGrumpstone) May 29, 2019

Choosing the right Apple is a lengthy process... #ToddlerLifepic.twitter.com/I17cnkwPsE

— Dan Green (@Real_Dan_Green) May 28, 2019

“Look, Daddy, I’m all done eating.” #ToddlerLifepic.twitter.com/AERKSCbYgY

— Patrick Meier (@PatrickMeier) May 28, 2019

My toddler just slapped my keyboard with a muppet while we were playing and the laptop was open on the coffee table.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how I just learned @CanvasLMS has keyboard short cuts 😂#toddlerlifepic.twitter.com/Yt7i9IttCH

— Mr. Kelley (@MrKelley64) May 22, 2019

Kid just poured a giant bubble wand out in the dryer...sweet! What a great start to the morning! #momlife#sahm#ToddlerLife

— Heather Knabe (@heather_knabe) May 28, 2019

But then again, there are those moments that remind you why it's all worth it, which this final Tweet captures perfectly. Share this with a parent of a toddler and make thier day!

Toddlers, although very emotional at times, can be emotionally supportive when you need it. They just know when you need a hug. 💜#ToddlerLife#momlife

— Anna@MommaBirdBlog (@MommaBirdBlog) May 22, 2019

Good teachers are underpaid, unforgettable angels. A good teacher will instill the curriculum as well as important life lessons while earning the respect and trust of their students for years to come.

Unfortunately, not everyone can be a good teacher. For every moment in school you remember for being inspired by a teacher or learning something new and fascinating about how the world works, there's probably another moment that haunts you during those dreams where you're 25 years old but back in middle school for some reason. Shout out to the time my social studies teacher gave me a detention for talking too loudly and then dropped a full box of markers on the floor just to watch me pick them up. Ah, memories.

So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "What is your most traumatic experience with a teacher?" the internet was ready to share the moments that probably wouldn't be turned into a feel-good version of "Dead Poet's Society."

1. This is terrible, "CharlieGallie."

When I was in high school I got a lot of nose bleeds. Like a lot. So I got one in the middle of class and I asked the teacher for a tissue, she said she didn’t have any so I asked to goto the toilet to get one then she said no. Soon I asked again when blood what dripping from my hands and she yelled at me for ‘repeating myself’ which is apparently bad. Soon a puddle of blood was on the table then I got sent to isolation for ‘disrupting the class’. I was then suspended for ‘acting inappropriate during class’. She was then fired for putting my life at risk. I gotta say when you get a nose bleed like that, you really see how much blood is inside of you.

2. Um, this is evil, "Havic000."

In 4th grade I collected Yu-Gi-Oh cards and I had gotten the (at the time) new Three Egyptian God cards. Well I was caught playing with them during class and my teacher took them from me and threw them out. I was devastated after all the packs opened and cards traded to acquire them. I never forgave her.

3. That would do it, "willelujah."

My favorite teacher in middle school was arrested for child pornography. He wasn’t my favorite after that. He also wasn’t my teacher after that.

4. "Matilda" is a book for everyone this teacher is a monster, "TreeStaratSeerT."

During quiet reading time teacher brought me to front of the class because I was reading a book for girls, and he asked me ‘why are you reading a giiirrrrrrls book? Are you a GIRL?’. Then made me chose a book for ‘boys’ to read.

I was maybe 10 or 11? The book was Matilda by the way.

5. This is terrible, "lolypin54."

One time i was on my period and I asked the teacher to go to the bathroom multiple times, she refused to let me go. Eventually I stained my uniform and the chair I was so embarrassed that I started crying, when my mother found out she made the school fire that motherfucker.

6. WTF, "erinkjean."

The girls in our elementary school were given proto-sex ed before the boys. The basic puberty stuff, your body is starting to change, you might develop breasts, sweating, all that stuff. They made a huuuuuuuge stupid deal about keeping it quiet. It's the girls' little secret. Don't go spreading it around school. (It only occurs to me now that that... is kinda dangerous in the wider scope of things.)

Anyway, my best friend was a boy and naturally, I skipped right off to tell him why suddenly half the class had an assembly all by themselves. My teacher heard about it, got me alone, grabbed me by both arms AND SHOOK ME. "Keep your mouth. Shut."

She was my favorite teacher up til then. Totally a great thing to teach a kid.

7. This is a journey of a comment, "T-man334."

Screamed at me because I came in smiling and humming bc it was my birthday, said it was disruptive and I cried on the spot and now I have burning hatred for that teacher, but hey, she got hit by a car: dont worry not a scratch tho just bumped.

8. Rude, "Chaotic-NTRL."

I was talking about the flying squirrels at my grandparents cabin to a friend and the teacher overheard me. He bellowed out “There’s no such thing as flying squirrels don’t lie just to get people to pay attention to you.”🤦🏽‍♀️

9. Reading grades out loud is such torture, "Mo_oseT."

well I once had a teacher who would read our test scores in front of the entire class. In the same school I also had a teacher grab my friend my the ear and pull, really hard. His ear was red and hurt the rest of the day.

10. What even, "CoffinCorpse-"

My 4th grade teacher was friends with this 5th grade teacher in my elementary and one day i misbehaved and my 4th grade teacher kept me inside for recess, then i met the 5th grade teacher that day and he said he was gunna keep me and my friend in EVERY day when we go to 5th grade and he sure as shit did and he made us do squats while playing welcome to the jungle through the whole song, to this day i have flashbacks when i hear axel on mainstream radio

11. This teacher should be arrested, "archdemonblood."

Listening to my health teacher explain that all gay people were child molesters. (I was openly gay.)

12. Snack theif, "77Mohammad77."

I brought chips to class... she got angry and grabbed it away from me and shouted like crazy. For a primary school kid like me, that was traumatic.

13. Um, what? "D14BL0."

When I was in 4th grade, I passed a note to a girl I liked. It was a super tame note, just said something like "I think you're cute, will you be my girlfriend?" Typical 4th grader stuff, really.

Teacher saw me trying to pass the note and intercepted it before it reached the girl. She read it (not aloud) and pulled me into the hallway.

She said what I was doing was wrong, and that it was sexual harassment. She said it's the sort of thing men go to jail for. She kept saying "sexual harassment" over and over in that little talk. I barely even understood what sexual harassment even was, but I knew it was bad. Made me feel like such a creep, like a predator. Made me cry from embarrassment and fear of going to jail.

After I was done crying, she let me go back into the classroom.

Gotta admit, that really fucked up my view of women for a while. Made me think of girls as scary and unapproachable. Took me a while to break out of that, too.

14. Damn, "ewilv."

In 4th grade, I prepared valentine's day card for all the kids in my class. When I was ready to give them out to everyone (unfortunately during class) my teacher reprimanded me for being disruptive, knocked all my cards on the ground, and told me to pick them up...

Revenge is a dish best served as a cold piece of pie in the face, it is a long coming retort that cuts through all the tension and hurls someone back into their place. In most cases, revenge is somewhat petty, but that's exactly what makes it so beautiful.

Most of us don't have the death of a murdered father to avenge like the beloved Inigo Montoya, instead, we seek small revenges against equally petty neighbors, frustrating coworkers, and loved ones who pushed our buttons a little too hard.

Since revenge, like any art form, requires a good dose of inspiration at times, I have curated a handful of fantastic examples of successful revenge to get your brain going for the next time you're face-to-face with your nemesis, or Carol from accounting's creepy boyfriend.

Please, enjoy these, and soak in all of the petty beauty that comes with getting the last laugh.

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