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Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell's kids had the funniest response to finding out their parents are famous.

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During an appearance on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert this week, Dax Shepard shared how his and Kristen Bell's daughters found out their parents were famous, and how the 4-year-old and 6-year-old processed the news.

The anecdote started when Colbert asked if the kids realized their parents were A-listers, to which Shepard replied: "Okay, that is an interesting question."

He went on to share that the girls have known their parents act for awhile, but it wasn't until recently that they put the picture of fame together.

"They know that mom is Princess Anna from Frozen. They know that. They understand it, they've been to set. They've seen us work. They have seen billboards around town. And people have taken photos of us when we're out and about. But I was talking to my daughter, and she said, 'Why do people listen to (your) podcast? Do they listen for you, or for (the co-host) Monica?"

View this post on Instagram

Happy Saturday love, Mom and Dad 💓💓💓

A post shared by kristen bell (@kristenanniebell) on

Shepard told Colbert how he gently told his daughter people likely listened to the podcast because he's famous and people see him on TV, to which she followed up with this very important question: "Does mom know?!"

"And I go, 'Honey, Mom's more famous than Dad.'"

"And she goes, 'MOM'S FAMOUS TOO?!'"

Shepard went on to share that the revelation of not one, but TWO famous parents both excited and confused his daughter, and now both daughters think the entire extended family is famous, including their grandma who is nicknamed Gaga.

As you can already imagine, this nickname only fueled further confusion when the girls heard people clapping during Lady Gaga's red carpet appearance at the Golden Globes. Naturally, they thought the clapping was really for their grandma Gaga.

Fame is a relatively confusing concept to grasp when you're a full-grown adult, so it's hardly surprising a 4-year-old and 6-year-old assumed it applied to the whole family after finding out their parents are famous. However, when they're older, it'll be very, very easy for them to tell their grandma and Lady Gaga apart.


Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher troll divorce rumors with hilarious video.

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Stars: they're just like us...they find out about celebrity gossip from the tabloids, even when the celebrity gossip is about themselves!

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher have been one of the cutest couples since they officially got together in 2012, and also since That '70s Show, when they played a couple on TV. They have two kids, Wyatt and Dimitri, who are blessed with magnificent genes.

The fact that they went from teenage TV love to real partners and parents was the perfect rom-com arc, so you can imagine how devastating it was for people in the grocery checkout line to see an InTouch Weekly cover saying "IT'S OVER!"

The news was news to the couple themselves.

Kutcher: Babe, what's happening?

Kunis: It's over between us.

Kutcher: It's over between us? What are we gonna do?

Kunis: I felt suffocated.

Kutcher: You felt suffocated by me? I was just so overbearing, wasn't I?

Kunis: Also...I took the kids.

Kutcher: You took the kids? I don't get the kids anymore?

It gets "darker":

Kunis: You had a dark secret.

Kutcher: Oh my gosh, what was the dark secret?

Kunis: I don't know, I only have this photo.

The couple then smiled and laughed for the camera, demonstrating that everything's fine.

The couples' celebrity friends thoroughly enjoyed the video.

Congrats on your continued marital bliss! I am very happy for you and not at all jealous!!!

Jameela Jamil slams Amber Rose for promoting diet tea for pregnant women.

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Jameela Jamil is a gift to the world. The Good Place actor is a tireless champion for the body positive movement and has no problem calling out other celebrities for hawking dangerous diet products. She has come for the Kardashians, Iggy Azaelia, and even Cardi B (brave), and she WILL come for you if you use your massive platform to promote products that dangerously encourage young girls to lose weight. So consider yourself warned.

At the center of these controversies is a company called Flat Tummy Co., which markets diet and detox (read: diarrhea) teas, mainly to young women and girls. According to their website, these products have "not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration." And apparently the company wasn't satisfied with their teen consumer base and decided to expand....by marketing to pregnant women.

Reality star Amber Rose, who is currently pregnant, shared an ad yesterday for a Flat Tummy Tea product that is specifically geared towards helping pregnant women stay thin and "not bloated." Hell, while we're at it, let's put the baby on a diet, too, shall we!!!??? This might seem like an episode of Black Mirror, but I assure you, it's not. Here's the ad:

The caption, which Amber edited following the immense backlash, reads:

Okay listen up @flattummyco just launched an Organic Pregnancy Tea to help us moms with those bloated, nauseous, blah feeling days! It’s safe to take while pregnant and breastfeeding. This is not a detox tea - it’s specially designed to help reduce occasional nausea and support digestion during pregnancy - haters stop riding the bandwagon and think for yourselves.

The ad clearly ruffled feathers, attracting a slew of comments like these:

It was only a short time before this nightmare caught Jameela Jamil's eye, and she'd had ENOUGH. The actor took to Twitter to call out Amber Rose and the company for their dangerous bullsh*t. She's not messing around! She used ALL CAPS and even tagged the FDA!

She followed up with this tweet:

One of Jamil's followers did some research and found this terrifying info. on the product's website, which directly contradicts Amber Rose's claim about the product being "safe" for pregnant women:

Jamil's replies lit up with people supporting her for calling out Amber and this dangerous product:

Jamil also posted her message to Instagram, captioning the photo "NO AMBER ROSE, NO."

Jamil's fight has not been for nothing, as evidenced by the overwhelmingly positive response to her posts. This comment from a Broadway actress is just another reminder of how she's making a difference:

THANK YOU, JAMEELA, ON BEHALF OF WOMEN AND GIRLS EVERYWHERE AND OUR TUMMIES. Every woman deserves the right to a not-flat tummy and no one deserves that right more than pregnant women. Can we stop trying to flatten every woman into a pancake already and just let us LIVE OUR DAMN LIVES?! This post sponsored by Bloated Tummy™.

21 Hilarious Memes About Making Love Everyone Can Relate To.

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"I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people."
— Chelsea Handler

Anyone who's into gettin' their freak on will laugh out loud at these hilarious sex memes.

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20 people share the worst ways they've been dumped. On my birthday with my family?!

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Even the most civil of breakups usually leave both parties in a bit of emotional pain, parting ways with someone you were physically and emotionally intimate with involves serious adjustment and a brief (or extended) period of emotional withdrawal.

Some breakups, however, are so cringe inducing and insensitive that they almost speed up the healing process. When your ex shows just how much of a tool they are through a painful breakup initiation, it deeply sucks, but it also saves you months and years of surviving their nonsense through rose-colored glasses.

In a recent Reddit thread, people share the worst ways they've been dumped and these anecdotes will truly make your ex seem like an angel sent from above.

1. idlewildgirl's ex literally ran away.

"He literally ran away. We got back from a gig and I went to put some ice cream in the freezer only to hear footsteps and the door slamming. Ran out and he was legging it down the road."

2. cyrus_hunter's ex borrowed money and bounced.

"We'd been together for 3 years. She borrowed several hundred dollars from me a week before (knowing the whole time that she was going to do this). When she broke up with me, all she did was tell me that she didn't love me any more. No discussion, no explanation, nothing. She then kept the break-up secret, moved to another city, mooched off of my friends, trashed their apartment, and nearly killed their dog."

3. wormbreath's ex literally did it through a Facebook status.

"Changed their fb status to in a relationship with someone else."

4. Tzaddik_1726's ex ended it after sex.

"She told me she didn't want to be married anymore while we were gasping and recovering from sex."

5. b4rn5ey's ex spun a web of lies.

"Was with her for just shy of 2 years. Holidays, Festivals, discussions of marriage the lot.

Claimed she lived at home with her Mum, who had terminal cancer, and as a result her mum didn't want to bring anyone new into her life as the pain of knowing she would soon leave them was too much. Therefore we spent all our time at mine and I never met her family or mum."

"Recieved a message from a guy one night asking how I knew her, I explained, turns out her Mum was fine, and she had been engaged to this guy and living with him the entire time...they were due to get married in a fortnight."

"Still blows my mind that she managed to play us both so well the entire time. (So technically, I guess he kind of ended it by revealing the truth lol : I just wished him the best of luck and cut all ties immediately, didn't give her the satisfaction of letting her know she had hurt me)"

6. AkariAkaza's ex was cheating with his best friend.

"Traveled 5 hours by train to see me only to get my house, say she doesn't love me and that she wants to break up."

"She leaves, I cry for about 15 minutes then call my best friend and ask if he can come over with some beers so I'm not home alone all weekend. I hear her in the background asking him something."

"Yup, she traveled 5 hours to break up with me so she could fuck my best friend without feeling guilty about it ( I no longer talk to him)"

7. LumpySpaceDingus's first boyfriend was cold blooded.

"I was 17. He was my first everything, pretty much. 8 months into the relationship, lying naked in my bed, he says, "I don't love you. I never did. I just wanted to have fun." I'm almost 30, and I'm over it, but I still wonder what the fuck made him do that."

8. yrugay1's ex was a gaslighter.

"By not telling me at all. We had been together for 3-4 weeks and one day I was just coming home from work and I saw her walking with another dude. I confronted her in front of him and the conversation went something like this :"

"Me : "Hey (her name), who's this?"

Her : "Oh, hey, this is (his name), my boyfriend."

"Me : "Uhmm haven't we been in a relationship for like a month now?"

Her : "Ugh I guess, but we clearly broke up yesterday evening."

Me : *visible confusion"

"We didn't break up that evening, we just had a minor squabble about how we should spend more time together (I was working 12s that week), we even kissed when I was leaving her place and she told me "I love you".

I was so astounded I couldn't even be mad. Forgot about her in a few weeks and moved on with my life."

9. stellarbeing got friendzoned by their wife.

"NYE: Took my then-wife of 13 years to get couples massage, then a fancy dinner. Paid good money to get into a club she wanted to go to. I go get us drinks and when I return, she whispers in my ear “Let’s just be friends”

"TLDR: got friendzoned after two kids and over a decade of marriage

Tbh, I like being not married to her better so no biggie now"

10. zazzlekdazzle's ex forced her to do the deed.

"By making me do the break-up for him.

He slowly withdrew emotionally, and started to become increasingly irritable and inconsiderate. If I brought up any of these issues he would act insulted, at how I could think that of him, or say/imply maybe it was my fault for not being considerate enough of him and what he was going through."

"It was so slow and incremental, it took me a long time to figure out we weren't going through a "rough patch." Or he wasn't having a hard time that I needed to support him through."

"With my last remaining crumb of energy and self-esteem, I did what he wanted all along and did the breaking up for him, I broke my own heart. He screamed and insulted me, stole a bunch of my stuff, and later I found out he gave me the kind of HPV that gives you cancer (which I did get, but was treated)."

11. shinyhappycat survived a nightmare break up.

"She cheated on me with 5 different women in 10 days. Whilst I was in hospital. Having brain surgery. She dumped me two days after I came out of hospital, whilst at her parents' house, on Christmas Day."

12. whatevs1990 got dumped over the phone.

"Dated a guy for one month short of 3 years. Everyone, including me, thought we’d be a forever couple. He talked about engagement and marriage within the first 8 months - right up to A WEEK before it all ended. We were laying in bed, and he told me “I can’t wait to be engaged by this time next year”. Fast forward a week. Everything was normal, we went on a nice date night, he spent a couple nights at my house, and went home. Everything seemed fine."

"We texted like we always did for a few days, until he said he needed to discuss something. Long story short, he texted that he needed a break. I said I understood, and would respect that. A week later he calls me, and says “You aren’t going to like what I have to say.” I asked if he was breaking up with me and he said yes. Dated for almost 3 years, and you break up over the phone? I asked if there was a reason. “I haven’t loved you for the past 6 months”."

13. Lead5alad's ex had her friend do the deed.

"I took my girlfriend of one week to homecoming freshman year, and right after we got there she walked away and had her friend come and say she wanted to break up. I had a separated shoulder from football, and I remember chilling there in my sling feeling bummed as hell."

"Later that night, she came over and asked me to slow dance and I told her to f off"

14. greyz3n's ex legitimately hit them with a car.

"She hit me with a car."

"So the longer story, which isn't nearly as interesting as you'd think, is that we were together for a few years. We had moved in with one another, I had bought her the car... and we both made a bunch of small shitty decisions that ultimate lead to her being unfaithful. So I was unfaithful... It was kind of a Romeo & Juliette thing to be honest, in that she thought I had cheated, I hadn't, so she was unfaithful as revenge... so since she cheated - I cheated."

"The car thing really finalized the whole, "We shouldn't be together anymore"."

15. awhq's break up lead to a new, better relationship.

"High school. I'm dating a guy who is out of high school.

I worked at a Dairy Queen. A girl from my school comes through the drive-through. As I'm handing her her order, I see that the very distinct ring I gave my boyfriend is on her finger."

"I have to admit, it took me a minute because I was confused about how she could have this ring. I finally snapped to and asked her "Did Bob give you that ring?"

She said yes and how did I know? "Because I gave it to him. He's my boyfriend."

She immediately took it off, gave it to me and left."

"A few minutes later my "boyfriend" comes flying in the door and starts yelling at me for "getting him in trouble". Yeah, I know how to pick 'em.

As he continues to yell at me, I'm just staring at him with all the anger that's in me."

"A friend of his (Mike) happened to be sitting in the dining room and Mike comes up the counter and whispers something to Bob. They both go outside.

Bob comes back in and sheepishly says "Mike said if I didn't apologize to you he'd beat my ass."

"I have to admit having Bob's friend , Mike, who I barely knew, stand up for me was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

And yes, Mike and I started dating. He was a really nice guy."

16. Qwert_yu's ex pulled an emotional bait and switch.

"I've posted this before but here it is...

"I never loved you, I don't love you and I never will. You're not worth 10 seconds of my time."

"This was after a year of telling me I was #1, that he loved me and would always love me, that I was the one person he wanted to talk to every single day. He had never felt this way about anyone before, he'd take a bullet for me, his heart would beat so fast and hands would sweat when he was with me because he was nervous, he promised forever, etc. He swore on his mother's life, he swore to God, etc.....then we had sex, he gave me genital herpes and ghosted me. He was 2nd partner I've ever had and I used condoms with first."

"Anyway, when I cried and begged for an explanation, that was the response. I spent the next year literally crying every single day, multiple times a day."

17. mach_oddity's ex really did the most.

"Fucked someone else while I was deployed to Iraq. Brought him with her to our first date when I got back and introduced him as a "friend" and then ghosted me."

18. truisluv's ex was an emotional AND resource vampire.

"Waited til I was at work and him and my.coworker who had met the night before when I introduced them decided they were in love. They went in my apartment and stole some of my stuff. She stole my clothes and they moved into a tent together. He then got her pregnant. One day he had his friend call me and ask if he could come back. She was now on drugs and not taking care of their baby. He wanted me to take him and the baby back. I said you ever call me again I will call your girlfriend and tell her. Never heard from him again."

19. realish had the worst birthday ever.

"His mom made a birthday meal for me. The night before the meal, he verified what kind of cake and frosting I wanted. The day of, he was being dodgy over text about not wanting to go his parents' to eat. Since I knew they made a special dish just for me, I showed up on the time we had agreed to beforehand."

"Five minutes after I arrived, he showed up in a state of distress. He accepted a phone call from his ex-fiance and left me with his parents for ten minutes while talking to her in a different room. When he got off the phone call, he came over to me, looked me in the eyes and told me, "this is a nightmare."

"I got up and thanked his parents for preparing the meal (that hadn't yet been served) and asked him to come outside with me. He dumped me on the driveway of his parents' house at my own birthday celebration."

20. Xandango68's ex made them a voyeur.

"By having sex with my best friend literally right in front of me.

I guess I didn't really need him to tell me after that"

"We were all hanging out together at the friend's house, my boyfriend keeps trying to get it on with me despite me politely declining like 100 times bc I'm not feeling that great, plus we're at the friend's house and that would be weird / rude. My friend even starts joking about how mean I am, telling me I should keep my boyfriend satisfied and making me feel guilty."

"Well as the night goes on we're all under a blanket on the sofa watching a movie together, when I start hearing my friend quietly moaning. I try to ignore it, in denial I guess, but when the moaning gets louder I look over and yep, there they are mid-fuck right next to me."

"The best part is that the boyfriend was my ride home, so I just fucking sat there waiting for them to finish, waiting for him to decide to leave and then drive me home in complete silence."

"The next time we saw each other, a few days later, he acted as if nothing had happened. He tried to kiss me and put his arm around me. All I could offer was a sad laugh and a final "no.""

People are sharing their saddest 'depression meals' that make the Fyre Festival sandwich look like a feast.

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When you're depressed, it's difficult to find the energy to cook or even care, leading to these disgusting innovations that pair perfectly with Prozac and therapy.

Twitter user @hayley_hud, with the delightful screen name Saddington 2, asked depressives to commiserate over their strange diets when in the midst of an episode.

That's right, the only thing worse than the notorious Fyre Festival sandwich is Chik-fil-A sauce on toast.

Don't try these at home, kids.

1. Nutty Cereal

2. Floor-flavored Cookie

3. String Cheese Hot Pocket

4. Cereal Parfait

5. Ice Sandwich

6. Push Pop Bowl

7. Floss Ramen

8. Spaghetti Sandwich

9. This Sad, Sad, Sad Tortilla

10. Fake Cheese, Real Happiness

11. OJ Soup with Crumbled Pop Tart

12. This Even Sadder Tortilla

13. Homemade Queso

19 sex workers reveal the grossest things their customers have ever done. Wipe your a*s, men!

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Round of applause for sex workers.

Even if you disagree morally with the nature of their work, everyone (including sex workers) deserves to work in a safe environment. There are plenty of reasons why people choose to do sex work, and there are many sex workers who genuinely enjoy and take pride in their jobs.

While a lot of money can be made, there's also risk involved.

From every level of sex work whether it's phone sex, cam work, foot fetish parties, stripping, or being an escort--dealing with people's sexuality can always rapidly escalate to a not-so-fun encounter. Just working at a bar I one time had a customer ask me to go to the bathroom, fill his glass with (used) toilet water and give it back to him. Of course, I didn't do it because that would be a hardcore health code violation, but you never know what gets people off...

When a recent Reddit user asked, "Sex workers of Reddit, who was the grossest customer you've had?" sex workers everywhere were ready to share their dirtiest, nastiest, most memorable encounters. Put your lunch down, it's about to get messy.

1. This is wild, "Dimonzza."

I had a guy that just wanted me to spit full globs of phlegm in his mouth while laid on his back with his mouth wide open. I'm rarely grossed out but I just can't deal with copious amounts of spit or phlegm, it took so much effort not to gag/throw up just from seeing it slide passed his tonsils.

On the other end of the spectrum I had a guy who liked to just lay on the sofa while I sat on him and watched TV. Human furniture fetish is definitely my favourite type of booking.

2. WTF, "Chris_Henry."

10$ to LITERALLY MAKE HIS BED

3. Damn, "missymommy."

Was a stripper. The ones who tell you that you look like their daughter/daughter's friend/ect. are pretty gross.

Foot fetish dudes would come in at the end of the night and the sweatier your feet were the better. Most girls love them though because they give amazing foot rubs and pay you for it.

Had a guy come in and lay on the floor and pay me to try to fart on his face. He was dressed like Carleton on boubon st. Honestly a lot of girls like ones like this too. They pay really well and you don't have to really do any work.

4. No thanks, "scarlettskadi."

Condom avoiders

Those who just plain reeked of BO, cheesy feet, dirty ass , too many cigarettes and who were complete strangers to a toothbrush.

People who were scabby and scaly with suspicious sores in places you definitely don't want to see leisons.

The guy who loved people to fart on him and in his mouth wasn't too flash either, but you got a laugh out of it at least.

5. Woah, "KrustyTheSock."

Phone worker here.

I had a guy, wanted me to put bodily excretions (roleplay on him). I was so stumped. So I said "if you've been a bad boy I'll piss on your face, if you've been a good boy I'll shit in your mouth"

Cue the minute long groaning, grunting and screaming the guy did with what I could only assume was the filthiest, never ending tsunami of spunk, followed with a "thank you mistress"

I logged off for the day, and did other things. I have no problem with kinks or fetishes, but he acted like he won the lottery.

6. A PILLOW? "Schmooglette."

I have 2 different guys that I'll never forget. The first was one that wanted my feet to be filthy dirty and stinky if possible, then I had to smash one foot in his face and get him off with the other foot. The other guy wouldn't let me turn on any lights at all and when I got undressed I touched him and found his one ball was the size of a pillow, it freaked me out so bad I told him I started my period and needed to leave pronto. There's many more but these two guys always stand out.

7. This is the dream, "BiffMcgee."

My wife’s best friend is a very successful cam girl. She was pregnant and some dude was paying her thousands to watch her take her pregnancy supplements. She made an absolute fortune when she was pregnant. He would make baby sounds to her while she did it. He would check in on her and make sure that she was hydrated and well fed. He started gifting organic foods over amazon.

I personally saw her play Jenga with her clothes on and dudes were bidding for which piece to move. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I still don’t. Someone paid her thousands to have dinner one night. She hired security and he paid for the security to make sure he didn’t touch her. It became a steady gig. Free food and thousands of dollars. She started doing the gfe thing for a while too.

8. Dear god, "karrierpigeon."

I work at a sex store. We have a guy whose kink is "cleaning." So he went to the arcades, glory holes and cinema and pulled all the used condoms out of the garbage can and ate the cum in them. We also have a dude that likes to lick doorknobs and another one who smells the used paper towels.

9. Gross, "MaebeItsMe."

Not really a sex worker but I stripped for a bit in college. The amount of older guys saying things to me like “tell me your real age” or “don’t worry your little secret is safe with me” while grinning terribly was always gross. I look young so that wasn’t very pleasant. It got worse when they would try and “blackmail” me into actual sexual contact by saying they’d reveal my actual age. Fortunately I was 19 so could just tell them to go ahead and do it.

10. Oh. My. GOD. "Poecifer."

So I was a male stripper predominately for bachelorette parties but about 3 times a month I'd work the actual club to make ends meet. I was 18 and finishing up high school. One night I'm there and the manager says there's a guy willing to pay $2k for two hours with me. It's a straight club but half the dancers are gay and eat that stuff up plus with a no touching rule, it's whatever. His only stipulation was that we not turn the lights on. He didn't want to be seen. This was the early 2000s and closet cases were more reserved then.

That said, I go in to dance. I dance for about twenty minutes and he says something that makes my skin crawl. "Tell me you're only 15..." I was disgusted but this was money I needed. I'm not proud but I said it though I couldn't get over the familiarity in his voice. He continued on with stuff like that, having me say I was 15 over and over, having me say I was running late for English class, etc. He just wanted me to pretend I was a little younger than I was. Then he said it, "Call me Coach Bellum."

Coach Bellum was my ninth grade football coach and a fervent creep who wandered into the boys and girls showers during use a few too many times and got fired the year after I had him as a coach. I went to beeline for the door as soon as he said it. There's no way he didn't recognize me afterall, he picked me because he knew 14-15 year old me. When I clearly got up to move he grabbed me around my waist and just licked my stomach and said, "I can give you all the money you need. Let me have this." I broke his nose, got out, and got the bouncers in there.

To my knowledge he was the first and only person we ever banned from returning there. Apparently we didn't need to though as he got jailed just a couple months later for molestation of a family member. He was grimy

11. This is...different. "Scarlett-Cat."

I’m a part time cam girl, one day a guy paid me 30$ to watch him masturbate and barking while wearing his socks on his ears. Lasted less than a minute and it was very... surprising

12. How dare you haggle a sex worker, "throwmedownthewell07."

I went through a brief stint of sleeping with men from craigslist for money when I was going through a very rough financial time when I was 20. It was a very dark time. There were some un-showered dudes, some who smelt bad, overweight, sure. But if they were nice, their looks didn't bother me. The grossest ones were the guys who forced anal without asking, refused to wear condoms, or haggled with money.

13. THAT WOULD HURT, "boob_sweat."

I got the the man's house, and he wanted me to pour bleach on my titties. I literally just walked right out and never looked back.

14. Oh no, "Ramiel01."

I was working for a new company and a man came in who requested to be referred to as the Yeast of Thought and Mind. I wish I'd never booked him.

15. Alright, "kimmolly8."

I had a customer who liked to wear a bonnet, suck on a pacifier, and wear a diaper under his pants. He liked to call me mommy and be spanked. And he paid well for it.

16. "kimmolly" really did the lord's work.

I had a guy that loved the smell of sweaty ass. He would always tell me when he was coming in, always near the end of the night, so I wouldn't go to the dressing room and freshen up as much as I usually would, and he would literally give me 200 just to stand in front of him, ass cheeks apart while he smelled it.

17. F*ck THAT, "dontslutshame."

Online sex worker here, but had a customer send me a script for a custom video where I pretend to be a 13 year old girl, call him daddy and talk about my day at school/what it’s like being a young girl etc. Instantly blocked

18. HARD PASS, "JobaniPhlux."

I make custom fetish videos and do roleplay. Had a client check my samples and menu. He literally said “wow you look like a 12 year old girl. That’s so fucking hot”. I instantly got sick to my stomach, told him he wasn’t the kind of client I could work for, and blocked the fuck out of him.

19. TAKE A SHOWER, "SongofNimrodel."

The one who left skid marks on my sheets, because he couldn't wash his arse properly.

The one who basically shit himself and expected sex to CONTINUE.

The one who asked if he could come over with three of his friends, after midnight on a weeknight (so was absolutely high on something), and only offered me $50 apiece to run a train... and he honestly thought it was a fair offer after looking at my hourly of *AU$600.

The numerous men who didn't understand how to wash under their foreskins.

The numerous men with insulting offers for bareback sex and absolutely no history of being checked for STIs because, "I'm married so I'm clean". Like that wedding ring has some spell of repel chlamydia on it.

It's mostly the hygiene factor honestly. If you have a weird fetish that most people would consider gross, but you're respectful about bringing it up and you adhere to as many hygiene precautions as possible AND you're prepared to pay well for it, sex workers won't care.

Guy gets karmic justice after Tinder date walks out when he suggests splitting the bill.

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One of the best (worst) things about online dating, is you never really know who will end up sitting across from you. Will they be your soulmate? Probably not. Will they be someone whose parents didn't raise them right? Highly likely. As most online daters can attest to, you have to go on a lot of dates with a lot of frogs before you find the frog that you want to share your Netflix password with.

A Redditor who goes by RustedCornHole shared his story about a very bad date in the sub-Reddit "Am I The Asshole?" where people go to find out if they're assholes or not. This guy needed Reddit's help—not just in determining if he's an asshole or not, but also in helping him figure out what plan-of-action to take. He needed advice so badly that he posted his query from the bar where the date took place, shortly after it ended.

The guy said that his date had just walked out when he suggested splitting the bill.

He wrote:

WIBTA ("Would I Be The Asshole") if I give the restaurant the name and phone number of my tinder date who LITERALLY JUST got up and left after the meal when it came up that we should split the check?

He explained:

I'm sitting here now trying to decide what to do. She and I never discussed this dinner being my treat, and this is the place she suggested. I have half a mind to separate the checks, pay mine and leave her info on her check for the restaurant to sort out. Technically she dined and dashed.

I'm going to preemptively tell you now this wasn't because I tried to get laid by just buying dinner and I'm not a creep.

Edit: in our conversations I suggested coffee for our first meet up. For those wondering.

There was a huge response to his post, with Redditors agreeing almost unanimously that he does NOT in fact owe her dinner, and he has every right to give the restaurant her name and number so she can pay for her portion.

Verdict: RusyCornHole would not be an asshole for sharing his ex-Tinder date's info.!

Commenter Bluezephr seems to reflect almost everyone's opinions when he wrote:

NTA. (Not The Asshole)

That's pretty fucking bullshit. Should be considered split.

BUT THERE'S MORE.

Not only did the internet take his side, but things took a turn for the better for RustyCornHole, according to an update to his original post.

He revealed that karma swooped in to enact justice, so he didn't have to!

He wrote:

Update: SWEET KARMIC JUSTICE! Upon moving to the bar and talking to the bartender I found out that this girl had an open tab before I arrived. She LEFT HER DRIVER'S LICENSE AT THE BAR. According to the bartender she's a shitty tipper and she's probably next door trying to get free drinks at the pool hall. Since her tab was open and she's probably coming back anyway, he agreed to move her food items over to her tab. He said, "fuck it it's not like she's gonna tip me anyways."

So, there you have it. And the lesson is: don't be an asshole, don't walk out on your dates for shitty reasons, and ALWAYS TIP YOUR SERVERS. Karma may be a bitch, but she's the best bitch in town. And you want her on your side.


40 people share the lies their parents told them as kids. Santa died in a snowstorm.

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Raising kids involves a tremendous amount of patience and emotional energy, and sometimes the only way to get a kid to listen to you is to embellish the truth. However, an exaggeration can quickly grow into a lie, and when kids become adults the lies they were told as children become glaringly obvious.

It's pretty par for the course to look back and realize all the mythology of Santa was a lie, or that the Tooth Fairy was actually your mom shuffling in a bathrobe. But what about the more outlandish or sinister lies you were told?!

Some people's parents went above and beyond when it came to doling out the white lies and completely bonkers stories, and it's a lot to unpack as an adult facing the barrel of the world's realities.

In a recent Hashtag Roundup on Twitter, the #LiesYourParentsToldYou hashtag made the rounds, and people unloaded all the small and huge lies they were fed as wee ones and these run the gamut from horrifying to hilarious.

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Woman calls out friend for inviting her to the bridal shower but not the wedding. The internet weighs in.

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It's wedding season again!

Just kidding, every season these days is wedding season. And with every wedding, comes a whole new set of drama, rules, and overall chaos. Is it ok to wear a wedding dress to a wedding if you're not the bride? Nope. Is it ok to bring a plus one if you weren't given one or bring kids to a "no kids" wedding just because you didn't book a babysitter far enough in advance? NOPE.

While there are some things that are just common sense, you'd be surprised what people can turn into the second they're engaged.

So, when a disgruntled friend turned to Reddit for help with a wedding-related problem, the internet was ready to listen.

The question?

AITA (Am I the as*hole) for being sassy with a friend who invited me to her bachelorette party but not her wedding?

Without even getting the context of the story, I can say that this person is DEFINITELY not the as*hole as a bachelorette party invitiation is essentially a wedding invitation. Brides and grooms usually spend more time with their guests at their bachelorette and bachelor parties than they do on their actual wedding day. They're much more intimate events and if you think someone is close enough to shell out a bunch of cash to travel to your Vegas bachelorette but you can't invite them to your actual wedding? You're a bad person, sorry.

But, let's get the whole story...

I have a friend who is getting married soon. We’ve known each other since middle school, she was my first roommate in college, we lived in the same apartment complex after the dorms; all this to say that although we’ve never been best friends, we’ve always been close.

I have always supported her, always defended her, and always really liked her, to be honest. We get along great.

She recently got engaged and I just blindly assumed that I would be invited. I got invited to the bridal shower/bachelorette party combo recently and realized that I’d not ever received a “save the date” or wedding invitation, even though the wedding was in 6 weeks. I kind of thought it was weird, and didn’t want to make anything awkward, so I just kind of put it to the side for a couple of days.

Before I could decide what to do, the bride sent me a text. I deleted it after in anger but here’s the gist:

“Hey girly, I know this is awkward but I wanted to reach out and let you know why you haven’t received a wedding invitation yet. The thing is, [Fiancé] and I both have huge families and we are only inviting members of the wedding party to the wedding. [Edit for context: I may have remembered this wrong, as I know a few of the girls going to the wedding/shower/bachelorette were not a part of the bridal party - my bad]. I would really love it if you could make it to the bridal shower/bachelorette party though! We haven’t seen each other in forever.”

I was kind of shocked at the absolute gall. I admit I’m a very reactive person and couldn’t stop myself from being a little bitchy in return:

“[Friend], I have always cared deeply for you but this is not only the rudest message I’ve ever received, it’s also shockingly tacky. I won’t be able to attend the party, I’m sorry. Lol.”

The “lol” was especially bitchy but seriously I can’t wrap my head around the insanity of inviting someone to your bridal shower so you can get a gift out of them, but not wanting them at your wedding.

The MOH (our other very close childhood friend) reached out to let me know that the bride was extremely hurt, and suggested I apologize. She acknowledged that the whole situation was awkward, but gave the typical “it’s her wedding, she’s under a lot of stress, she’s trying to do the right thing...”

I don’t care if she didn’t have room for me at the wedding, I think the text would have been sweet (but totally unnecessary) if it was just her saying “sorry we couldn’t fit everyone” and I would have completely understood. It’s the shower/bachelorette invitation that feels like a slap in the face.

Am I being an asshole? Should I apologize?

NO, don't apologize!

Edit for additional context: I was the only person invited to the bridal shower/bachelorette party who was not invited to the wedding. The bridal shower listed their registries, and I would never go to a bridal shower without a gift regardless; the bachelorette party invitations required that everyone bring a lingerie gift for a fun game that would be played at the party.

I do/did not care if I was invited to the wedding, but felt it was bad manners at best to be invited to the parties in which gifts were required when I was the only one attending who wasn’t invited to the wedding.

Wow, this is insane. Luckily, the internet unanimously voted NTA or "not the as*hole."

"P00perSc00per89" wrote:

Highjacking to say that what the bride did is against ALL etiquette relating to weddings. Asking someone who was not invited to the wedding itself is saying “I don’t care enough to have you celebrate with us, but I want to you to come give me gifts and attention for being a bride.”

The rule is that only people invited to the wedding can be invited to the shower and the bachelorette, both of which should be smaller and more intimate than the wedding. Not the other way around. Of course OP was offended!

Obviously, NTA.

"Myohmymiketyson" wrote:

NTA.

She wasn't trying to do the right thing, obviously. She's trying to extract gifts from you without having to pay for your meal at the wedding.

This is some self-serving bullshit on her part.

"cpiz" wrote:

NTA and she owes YOU an apology. Although if you want to do her a BIG favor, send her a book on wedding etiquette. Because you're not the first one she's insulted and I am sure you won't be the last. "Hey, come to my parties and bring me gifts and buy me drinks but you're not important enough to actually attend the ceremony and reception. " cringe....

So, there you have it! Not the as*hole, at all. This should serve as lesson in wedding rules for anyone who is confused.

Woman goes viral for making hilarious 'Why I'm Single' brochure to hand out at cousin's wedding.

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Explaining your life to extended family can be a huge chore, particularly when you're a single adult woman navigating the traditional pressure of being asked if you'll have children or when you'll "settle down."

Even if you figure out a pithy way to describe your life and answer all of the predictable yet exhausting questions, when you're at a large family function it's likely you'll have to repeat the refrain a dozen times for different relatives. In these times, it would truly be ideal to just have an informational pamphlet handy that lays it all out for everyone.

To this very end, the Twitter user Melissa Croce decided to reclaim her time and make catching up with relatives as easy as possible.

After joking with her coworkers about making a personal brochure to hand out at her cousin's wedding, Croce committed to the bit and created a hilarious pamphlet explaining what her job does, why she's single, and all the FAQ about living in NYC.

The brochure cover shows her face alongside the words: "Who's that girl. So you haven't seen Melissa Croce in a few years here's a primer. She's beauty and she's grace, she'll say it to your face."

She then dives into the nitty gritty of what her job involves, where she lives in NYC, and what it all means to her.

Without a doubt, though, the best part of the brochure is the Choose Your Own Adventure laying out the reasons she's single, and shutting down all the predictable concern trolling.

People on Twitter immediately fell in love with the concept of a Choose Your Own Adventure about single life, and a personal brochure in general.

In fact, Croce received several commission requests from people desperately wanting brochures for their upcoming trips home.

Truly, Croce has given both joy and inspiration to countless people online with this viral joke.

The couple from the iconic wedding entrance dance video gave us an update, 10 years later.

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Happy anniversary!

Ten years ago, a seemingly ordinary couple changed weddings forever when their procession down the aisle wasn't to Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" but to Chris Brown's "forever."

The shaky video has been viewed over 98 million (!!!) times and has inspired countless copycats, including from the folks at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company's Scranton branch.

"Did you see this, it was on YouTube!" Michael Scott excitedly told Pam Beesly-Halpert.

Minnesota Public Radio caught up with with JK of "JK Wedding Entrance Dance," Jillian Peterson and Kevin Heinz, are still married, and still dancing.

Heinz told MPR that they put the video on YouTube not to go viral, but because the file was too big for them to email to their friends. Once the whole world saw the video, they set up a website to raise money for various charities.

At first, the site raised money for the Sheila Wellstone Institute, a domestic violance charity, as penance for using a Chris Brown song.

They are currently raising money for The Violence Project, a charity co-founded by Peterson, which provides training and researches criminal justice issues.

The couple's awesomeness goes beyond their wedding video. Heinz is an immigration attorney in St. Paul, and Peterson an assistant professor of criminology and criminal justice at Hamline University, where she studies mass shootings.

They have three kids: Baron, Calvin, and Vivian. Baron said that the video "is amazing because it's unique," but he prefers The Office version.

Peterson and Heinz of a TL;DR on the video's website, summing up life after viral fame:

Here are answers to some of the questions we get the most -

  • We are still happily married :)
  • We have three amazing kids that keep us laughing every day - two boys (ages 8 and 5), and a 2 year old girl
  • We are still very close to the people in our bridal party. In the past ten years, 11 of the people in this picture have earned doctorate degrees (medicine, law, education, ecology, physical therapy) and we have added 22 kids to the mix!
  • We did NOT know the office was going to copy our wedding. We were watching it live on TV when it aired and were shocked
  • This website has raised over $70,000 for charity over the past decade.

Mazel tov, Heinzes!

Thank you for inspiring one of the best Office moments ever.

23 Hilarious Memes That Will Totally Take You Back To Your Childhood.

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These memes will take you back to a simpler time before you had bills to pay and back pain for no reason whatsoever. At the risk of sounding like a 90-year-old, those sure were the good old days.

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Woman saves her kid from falling off a balcony with insane reflexes. Never doubt the power of a mom.

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There are some parenting skills that no one teaches you, like dad jokes, or being embarrassing— they just show up one day post-childbirth, when you least expect it. One of those skills is mom reflexes.

Take this video of a kid (almost) falling off a balcony, for example. His mom steps in the moment he looks like he's going to fall, and saves the day with her mom reflexes.

It all starts with the mom and kid walking out of an elevator. They're just minding their own business, with the mom doing adult things while the kid, who looks three or four, bounces around wondering how he can give her a heart attack.That's when the kid makes an executive decision to basically take a running leap off the balcony, as toddlers do. You can see him bending his knees to get as much air as possible, then springing forward. Because why not, right?!

That's when the mom jumps into action quicker than Catwoman.

She becomes a mess of flailing limbs as she grabs her kid by the foot, saving him from the fall. You can also see the delivery guy in the scene running down to try and catch the kid.

The video, which is apparently from surveillance footage, was posted on the subreddit /r/WatchPeopleSurvive. In the comments, Redditors talk about their own experience with the catlike reflexes of parents.

"how the fuck did she do that!?! next time one of my teammates say they couldnt get to a pass i am showing them this vid," one user said.

"She didn't even drop her phone..." marveled another.

User nechronius actually analyzed her entire technique:

She's probably left handed. First instinct wasn't to throw the object out of her weak hand, first instinct was to reach with her strong.

Also instinctively she clutched what was in her hand already. As a tangent, this is why with firearms you should never have your finger on the trigger unless you are ready to fire, because in moments like this you end up firing a shot you didn't intend to.

Other commenters asked what we're all wondering: why the hell was there a gap big enough for a kid to fall through in the first place?

Amazingjaype speculated that in real life, it probably looked like there was glass there to break the kid's fall:

Poor kid look like he thought there was glass with the way the hands went out to like catch himself. That seems like really unsafe design.Poor kid look like he thought there was glass with the way the hands went out to like catch himself. That seems like really unsafe design.

Yeah, "unsafe design" is kind of an understatement here. And by the way, don't even try to suggest the mom was distracted, as ThePittyInTheKitty points out:

Watching it again I don't think the mom was distracted. She looks as if she's looking right at him when it happens and that's why she's able to act so quickly. The kid walks away from her and she's probably used to that. Source: I'm a mom of a quick and independent toddler. I can relate to the mom's sense of attentiveness.

We can all agree on one thing: no one knows how to save the day like a mom.

25 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Excited It's Friday.

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"If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either."

-James Johnson

Happy Friday, folks. Start your weekend off right by laughing at these hilarious memes. They perfectly nail that Friday feeling.

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Chrissy Teigen came for Bernie Sanders and his bros after his very bad tweet.

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There are currently 23 (!) candidates vying for the Democratic nomination in 2020. Those qualifying for the debates have been split into two groups, with cantankerous progressive Bernie Sanders squaring off against Harris, Buttigieg, and Biden the second night. There's at least one person I'm sure won't be rooting for Bernie and that's Chrissy Teigen.

View this post on Instagram

DOLL SALE

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Yes, THAT Chrissy Teigen. Is there any other? The model and media personality is 'undecided' regarding the crop of Democratic candidates, but she recently made clear on Twitter that she's not a Bernie Bro.

Chrissy responded to Bernie tweeting a Politico article that posited centrists were gravitating away from the Vermont Senator and towards Elizabeth Warren.

She stated that his supporters - known for their, uh, zeal - played a huge role in cementing her stance.

One unlucky - or perhaps incredibly lucky! - Sanders fan was dragged personally by Ms. Teigen.

Oh sh*t. Chrissy's Extremely Online and taking zero prisoners - a woman truly after my own heart. While I'm also undecided re: 2020, if Luna's mom ever ran for president she'd earn my vote.

View this post on Instagram

when your first word is “yeah!”

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Amy Schumer roasts Jennifer Lawrence for trying to pick a fight with her baby over text.

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What is friendship if not an ongoing understanding that you can text ambush each other about television shows you both watch, and whatever mundane passing thoughts you need an audience for?!

Even the most modest texters among us have likely flooded a close friend with a mini novela about why Jon Snow and Arya Stark are sibling goals, or all of the Big Little Lies memes that properly channel the drama.

As with most tenets of friendship, being rich and famous doesn't change the fact that good friends will bug each other with long-winded text chains until receiving the proper amount of digital attention. So naturally, Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence's close friendship involves the same hyper texting patterns as the rest of ours.

In a recent Instagram story, Schumer shared a screenshot of Lawrence haranguing her about a plot point on Handmaid's Tale and the quick escalation of Lawrence's texts are a familiar sight to anyone who regularly texts their friends about TV.

Within the first three texts Lawrence was using words like "emergency," and her texting anxiety only got ramped up from there.

The texts soon turned into a teasing beef between Lawrence and Schumer's new born baby, which would truly be an adorable face-off for the internet to eat up.

Eventually Schumer was able to respond and give Lawrence the much awaited answer.

People online were quick to relate to the exchange.

In the end, if anyone were to win the beef between Lawrence and the baby, the baby comes out on top, hands down.

25 jokes from women this week that will make you smile (not that we’re telling women to smile).

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If this week wore you down, you're not alone. I, for one, am very sad, having engaged with the Call Concentration Camps By Their Name news cycle and getting whiplash about Trump's will they-or-won't they war with Iran (PLEASE, NO WAR!!!!).

Thankfully, funny women are continuing to be funny, and their jokes would make you smile, not that you need to.

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Chrissy Teigen roasts John Legend in response to fan asking why she didn't take his last name.

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Chrissy Teigen is one of the quickest, wittiest people on Twitter. So it's a mistake to call her out without doing your research first, because she WILL come for you. A fan recently posted a tweet lightly dragging the model and cookbook author for not taking her husband's last name—not for sexist reasons, but because his last name is so, ahem, "legendary" (pause for applause).

"I'm not usually a fan of women taking their husband's names but idk how Chrissy Teigen passed up on having the last name LEGEND," she wrote.

Teigen took no time in responding by thoroughly roasting both the fan AND her husband John in one fell swoop:

"Because it's 'Stephens'" she tweeted, pointing out that LEGEND is actually John's stage name. What a betrayal!!!!!!

Now everyone is roasting John "Stephens" in the replies:

Fans of Chrissy Teigen will know that this is not the first time she has addressed this issue. Over a year ago, when a woman's tweet about women not taking their last names went viral, Teigen tweeted this hilarious response:

You don't need the last name Legend when you are one! *Places mic down softly next to keyboard while grinning smugly*

Anyway, please call me from may stage name from now on: May Chrissy Teigen. Thank you!!!! - MCT

Mom freaking out over 'spot' on child's mouth discovers the hilariously embarrassing truth.

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I'm sans bébé but assume the worst part of parenting is the anxiety. You and/or a co-parent are wholly responsible for your child's welfare. I'd be wracked with worry, constantly paranoid that my kid would get injured, abducted, or develop a serious illness. Now that I'm slightly older, I understand why my parents kept such close tabs on me and freaked out when I didn't answer their calls. Their minds leapt to worst-case scenarios when I was always just watching movies or gossiping with friends. We couldn't get into much trouble in suburban Connecticut, but I finally appreciate their obsession with keeping me safe.

One mother recently experienced the scare of a lifetime - for what ends up was a hilariously low-stakes reason. Darian Depreta shared her story on Facebook in a post that went viral. It's received 34,000 likes and been shared 19,000 times. Parents everywhere could relate to the range of emotions experienced after noticing a strange mark on the roof of her child's mouth.

So I’m playing with Bella today and notice the roof of her mouth is black. I try wiping it to see if it would come off,...

Posted by Darian Depreta on Thursday, May 30, 2019

It was a false alarm! Thank God Darian's (adorable) daughter went unharmed.

Just LOOK at that mug. Underdeveloped yet indisputably cute. Is this what baby fever feels like?

Fortunately, the Depretas' story has a happy ending. Kids get into all kinds of shenanigans when a parent's back is turned, and this anecdote is no exception.

Note to self: the mole you just spotted and assume is pre-cancerous might be chocolate smeared on your face. Don't panic!

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