Weddings can be a minefield, and so can coming out — especially if your family contains bigoted people. Combine the two, and you've got a really tough situation.

A Reddit user asked for advice in this situation. He's getting married, and his brother who's gay wants to bring his boyfriend to the wedding. The groom and his parents love and accept his brother. But their extended family might not.

Their extended family has no idea he's gay — and they might make a scene when they find out.

As the groom says in his post:

Ok this is the worst. I’m losing sleep over this. [...]

My brother is gay, but my family doesn’t know, only me and my parents know. I come from a very old school traditional family, so the old part of the family, grandparents and some aunts/uncles still have last century’s mind, and the younger portion, cousins/sibilings are open minded, and are living in the present.

So my brother has been dating his bf for 6 months now, the dude is great, I’m so happy my brother found a great guy. But it’s kind of a secret, as he hasn’t told my family he is gay.

The groom has been encouraging his brother to come out for years, but he hasn't yet (which is fine — it's his choice when he does or doesn't come out).

Only now, the brother wants to bring his new boo to the wedding:

I was not expecting that to be honest. So he went from 0 to 100 pretty fast.

If it was any other occasion I would be supportive obviously, but I don’t think my wedding day is the day to do that. Imagine all the drama and gossip and bullshit that would happen. And I don’t want to get the attention away from my fiancée, that’s her day. And I dont wanna have to worry about that on my wedding day, and I think it’s a pretty good reason

The groom asked his brother why he wants to effectively come out at the wedding, and the brother said it's "because he wants to celebrate love with the 2 people he loves the most, me and his boyfriend." Oof.

"This is killing me," the groom writes. "I would fight my whole family for my brother and never speak to them again if I had to, but my wedding day is supposed to be a celebration, not a family fight, and I can’t do this to my wife, that might ruin our future."

He asked the brother to come alone, and after leaving his house crying, the brother agreed — but clearly wasn't happy about it.

With a heavy heart, I asked him to please come alone to the wedding, and that I hope he understands me. He started crying and left my house without saying anything.

Next day I got a text and he said “ dont worry, going alone”. I tried calling him but he didnt answer me, and my parents don’t seem to know what’s happening because they didn’t say anything.

He eventually called me back a few days later, we spoke, he said he understands my side, but things are still weird between us

"This is the worst situation of my life," he writes, "am I the asshole for handling it the way I did?"

He also added that his fiancée is in agreement with him, and clarified that no matter what the people of the internet say, his point is not that his brother's in the wrong. It's just that he feels he's in an impossible position.

I know it won’t be my brother that would cause trouble. The trouble would start with remarks and looks from some aunt/uncle. Doesn’t matter, we are spending a lot of money on this wedding, planned it for a long time, my fiancee put her heart and soul into planning this wedding.I don’t want to see my bride or mom crying, or some idiot uncle insulting my brother. Literally every other day of my life I will support my brother’s decision to come out. Even at the wedding, I would obviously defend him. But the point is, NOT AT THE WEDDING. Also, MY BROTHER IS NOT THE ASSHOLE. Not at all.

So what do the people of the internet think?

They mostly agree that the groom is not the a-hole for asking his brother to come alone.

FlamingCabbage91 totally gets where the groom is coming from:

God I'm queer and I gotta say, a sibs wedding would NOT be the place to trot out that bit of my life. Its your wedding its your day.

HarperValleyPTA agrees:

Almost all wedding etiquette comes down to “don’t upstage the couple”. It’s too bad there isn’t more time, because if he was actually able to come out beforehand, bringing his boyfriend to the wedding would have been fine. People will still talk, but it wouldn’t stop the show.

MrProspero makes a good point for why his brother might have suggested this in the first place:

It sounds like your brother really values your protection and support about this issue. I wonder if part of why he is having this admittedly bad idea is because he feels that if he comes out on "your" turf, and you show support for him, it will protect him and make letting the broader family know easier.

Maybe you could suggest hosting a party or event soon where he could bring his boyfriend to? That way he gets to feel supported and protected by you, but not take up your and your fiancee's wedding day.

Izzgo, too:

Lesbian here, and I agree. Any wedding other than your own is NOT the place to come out.

I suspect the gay brother figures that coming out at the wedding would 1) let him come out to the whole family all at once and 2) be so overshadowed by the wedding that people would hardly notice. Number 1 would happen, but not number 2. Instead, his coming out would become the centerpiece of the day.

OP tell your brother exactly this. And that you would have his back coming out any time and place AFTER your wedding (since it's so soon now.)

Others, like AndrewWaldon, condemned the brother more strongly:

Your wedding, the day your wife has been dreaming of her whole life, is NOT the time for your closeted brother to come out.

It will be THE event of the wedding. Not your vows, not the walk, nor the cake, but rather it will be all the drama it causes.

Your brother is an a**hole if he pushes this.

TXperson equated it to getting engaged or announcing a pregnancy at someone else's wedding. That seems a bit different, but here are their thoughts:

Tbh it’s so f*cking rude to use someone’s special event for yourself. It’s kind of the equivalent of someone getting engaged or announcing a pregnancy at your wedding. It’s different from holidays bc those are “family” events and a wedding is a special day for the two people getting married and everyone else is just a spectator. If he were to come out then, it would shift focus from y’all to him and that’s an asshole thing to do. I’m happy you accept your brother but he was definitely an a**hole for deciding this without consulting you. NTA, and I say this as a gay man

And whyamisoawesome9 suggested a compromise:

Invite the boyfriend to the family brunch the next day.

Don't let it overshadow your day, which is what you have done. The next morning still allows that wedding / good fam vibes thing, but the pictures are done

Hopefully, this family will figure everything out before the wedding day.

There's a culture war brewing on Twitter over bay leaves, of all things.

It appears Chipotle has been serving food with bay leaves left in it. Bay leaves are used to enhance flavor during cooking, but they aren't supposed to be eaten. Some cooks try to remove the bay leaf after cooking so that no one accidentally chomps on it, but sometimes it's hard to find. Also, sh*t happens, and adults should be able to eat around the bay leaf if it ends up on their plate.

A few Chipotle customers, though, were flummoxed by the presence of a bay leaf in their food — and they took to Twitter to complain about it. Their dumbness is now going viral... and unexpectedly igniting an online culture war?

These are the embarrassing bay-leaf-finders in question:

None of the Twitter accounts appear to be active anymore, probably because people were harassing them after this tweet started to go viral. But the tweets show photos of rogue bay leaves in Chipotle bowls, with captions like, "hey chipotle is this lettuce or just a leaf you found outside," or, "Kinda curious how I found this full leaf in my bowl from Chipotle."

It was completely lost on these people that what they were looking at was a type of spice.

Things escalated really quickly.

People blamed the bay leaf ignorance on being American.

But rest assured, bland, lazy, spice-less cooking can be found in a wide variety of nations.

Others blamed it on not being Italian...

Or not being French...

Or being white, even though Italian and French chefs are big fans of the bay leaf and also frequently white.

People also invoked the spice trade, which had major colonialist overtones.

People also blamed it on eating at Chipotle — which is probably fair.

But if we had to guess, we'd say the culprit is laziness and culinary ignorance.

And thankfully, at least one guy had a really good idea for recycling old bay leaves.

But Chipotle, we have one last question: how come the bay leaf's free but the guac is extra?

If you've ever worked in the service industry, or if you've ever been a decent human being, you know that bad tippers are a scourge on society.

Bad tippers are entitled, needy nightmares who bleed the smiles and energy out of unsuspecting servers and bartenders only to leave them nothing in return. Sometimes, when you ask a bad tipper why they have adopted such a shameful habit, the response is: "I don't think they work hard enough" or "I don't believe in tipped wages, they should just get paid a living wage."

All of these arguments are psychopathic, empathy-deficient trash. Of course, you have no idea how hard they work and even if you think their job is easy--don't they deserve a 20% tip for placating your bratty kid when he screamed about the chicken nuggets not being crispy enough? If you don't believe in tipped wages, that's a fine belief to have, but you're not going to change a system that's been in place for years by stiffing your teenage waitress at "The Olive Garden."

Luckily, the internet is here to vent. At most restaurant jobs, servers are not allowed to approach customers about their garbage tips, but here are some employees who had just had enough already.

1. When you get revenge.

2. If you leave your number, you better tip.

3. Dignity is more important than money sometimes.

4. Take your 72 cents and GTFO.

5. Passive aggression is necessary sometimes.

6. Wow.

7. When the "in the biz" strategy fails.

8. Why do they even make pennies anymore?

9. The audacity!

10. To change up the pace, here's an uplifting story.

11. YUP.

12. "Go eat at home."

13. This serve who has cast a twitter curse on a family.

14. This woman who called out a basketball player.

15. Telling it like it is.

5.Queen Elizabeth II, because her Large Adult Son Prince Andrew is stinking up the monarchy with the Epstein scandal.

Anyone who has watched The Crown knows that Queen Elizabeth II's job is to look stable while weathering every major conflict of the 20th century, which continues as her reign endures through the 21st.

The latest headache for the 93-year-old comes courtesy of her second son Prince Andrew, who was close friends with notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, who is now serving time in Hell. A picture famous in both news reports and court documents showed Andrew in 2001 with a then-17 year old, who later claimed that she was paid to have sexual relations with the prince.

Buckingham Palace never explained the photo, but released a statement today saying that Prince Andrew is "appalled" by reports of his buddy's sex abuse. People find it hard to believe that Epstein's activities came as a surprise to Andrew, considering the photo above and a recently unearthed video that showed him chillin' in the convicted pedophile's Manhattan mansion.

Not only did Andrew hang out with Epstein on both sides of the Atlantic, he also reportedly had Epstein and his co-conspirator/girlfriend Ghislaine Maxwell at both Windsor Castle and Balmoral, a huge honor for any commonor.

The Royal House of Windsor has survived being associated with Nazis, so it likely will manage to keep their faces on the British pounds through Prince George's coming-of-age. But will taxpayers put up with this posh group of sexual deviants paid to represent them? We know how much the Brits love referendums.

4. Chrissy Teigen, because she got sick with altitude sickness.

Chrissy Teigen is a supermodel cookbook writer with the EGOTting husband and cutest kids in the world, but her body is fragile just like yours and mine. Teigz visited her home state of Utah for a friend's wedding, and got sick with a painful case of altitude sickness.

She had a bad case of angioedema, which is the fancy term for swollen lip, but not the glamorous kind a la Kylie Jenner. Teigen's was "hard like glass," which sounds painful.

Teigen addressed the bride and groom in a video, joking, "Why have you chosen to get married in a place...that would try to destroy me?"

Being sick sucks. Being sick at a friend's wedding sucks even more.

3. The Florida Man who got busted for selling ecstasy pills shaped like Trump's head.

Orange pill bad.

Brendan Dolan-King, a suspected drug dealer, was arrested in Clearwater, Florida for narcotics possession. Dolan-King had previously been busted for selling ecstasy tablets shaped like Darth Vader, and updated his stock to include the head of an even more menacing villain: President Donald Trump.

The Smoking Gunreports that "Dolan-King was charged Friday with the narcotics raps after lab tests confirmed that a tan powder seized was fentanyl and that the Trump pills contained MDMA. Dolan-King has been in custody since late-June--when the drugs were found--on marijuana possession with intent to sell and probation violation counts."

Finally: somebody is facing consequences for a Trump-related crime.

2. Wendy Williams, because she was banned from 50 Cent's party.

Middle school never ends. Wendy Williams was turned away from 50 Cent's party because he doesn't like that she talks about him on her show.

The "In Da Club" rapper hosted a soiree at New Jersey club BarCade and declared it a Williams-free zone.

50 Cent's pettiness level: he shared a video on Instagram of the line, and you can hear a woman narrate, "Wendy Williams not being able to get in." Complete with thinky face and eyebrow-raise emojis, 50 Cent wrote, "you can’t just show up to my PARTY if you been talking about me. B*TCH wait out side [sic]."

Williams can be spotted wearing a Yankees hat, stuck outside with the riffraff like somebody who doesn't have their own talk show.

It looks like Williams may have pulled an Ivanka Trump and Instagrammed as if she made it to the main event. She shared a picture of her and Snoop Dogg in what appears to be a lobby, and she would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for 50's post.

Williams was going to get into that party or die tryin'.

1. The Florida Man who was arrested for chugging an entire bottle of $7 wine in a Walmart bathroom.

What a week for Florida Men!

Ty Kelley was arrested by Pinellas Park Police for allegedly stuffing a $6.98 bottle of wine down his pants, chugging it in the store bathroom, and then trying to leave the Walmart without paying.

Even more embarrassing? The wine was a Riesling, according to court documents. Kelley was booked into the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office jail and held on a $250 bond.

Here's hoping he remembers to pay for the champagne when he celebrates getting out.

Wedding cakes are far more expensive than your average store cake. On average wedding cakes having a going rate between $350 and $450, which makes sense when you consider their elaborate tiers, special flavors and personalized decorations.

At many weddings, the cake serves as more of a ceremonial symbol of the union than an actual dessert. Loved ones gather around to watch a newly wedded couple exchange messy bites, and if there's enough then guests can try it out, but the photo ops take priority.

Given the cost and symbolism, having your wedding cake ruined is a pretty big deal. But ruining it yourself in a moment of anxiety and passion is another level of frustration.

In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a man shared how a silly call-back joke led to his brother destroying his own wedding cake.

"AITA for ruining my brother's wedding cake? Just to be clear, I didn't actually do anything to the cake. But I'll just start from the very beginning I guess."

OP kicked off the post by sharing that his brother used to prank him all the time as a kid.

"Growing up my brother and I would play pranks on each other. I say each other, he would prank me. Relentlessly. Any of you who are younger siblings will know that there will be that one particular moment that often comes up even as you get older that "Hey, remember when..." story they'll retell to cackle at something devilish they did to you as a child. Our story was about a jar of cookies."

One year, OP's grandpa made him a fresh batch of cookies for his 9th birthday and sealed them in an air tight glass box.

OP's brother saw the opportunity for a prank and farted in the box and resealed it. When OP opened his batch of cookies he immediately smelled the fart and threw up all over the batch of cookies.

"Grandpa was an amazing baker and he made me a batch of cookies for my birthday (9th birthday I believe) which he'd seal in an air tight glass box for me. I don't know how, or when, but my brother got ahold of this box and proceeded to, well, fart in it. Then sealed it back up. On my birthday he handed me the cookie box and said "Grandpa put some extra stank into this batch." I didn't know what he meant in the moment, I was too excited to try what looked like delicious cookies. I opened the glass lid and got blasted in the face by the stench of stale ass, then immediately threw up in the jar, all over the cookies. A tale my brother has told repeatedly to his delight since. Fast forward to now. My brother's wedding day."

OP's brother often proudly brings up the story, and told it at the bachelor party a few days before the wedding.

This gave OP the idea to whisper a call-back to the joke at the reception. While the call-back didn't involve any farting or actual tarnishing of the cake, it did involve OP whispering that he put some "extra stank into the cake."

"This wasn't a thought out plan, I hadn't been scheming over it, it was spur of the moment. My brother had refold the story yet again at his bachelor party three days prior to embarrass me and I guess the story was just fresh in my mind. Ceremony is over, all went well and onto the reception. They're posing for photos before cutting the cake, and I don't know why it came to me, but I just leaned over to my brother as his wife was about to take a bite and said "I put some extra stank into the cake."

Instead of laughing, OP's brother immediately freaked out and slapped the cake out of his fiance's hands.

To make matters worse, she immediately began to cry.

"I thought he'd laugh. He did not. With the reflexes of a mother leaping across to rescue her newborn from something dangerous, he slapped the cake out of her hands. There were some gasps, some laughs, no one really knew what was going on. Me included. He whispered in her ear, she looked me in the eyes for a good five to ten seconds. Then just started to cry."

Apparently, OP's brother assumed OP had defecated in the cake and that's why he reacted so strongly.

"She runs off, everyone is confused, then my brother confronts me. He thought I did a shit in the cake as revenge for the cookies. I told him I didn't and it was just a dumb joke, but he was too mad to listen. She told her bridesmaids I did a shit in the cake. Sure enough, soon everyone thinks I shit in the cake. I was too embarrassed to protest so I just went home."

No one believed OP when he told them he didn't poop in the cake, and he ended up getting sent home and hasn't talked to the wedding party in a week.

"It's been a week and I've not spoken to them (nor anyone else from the wedding barring my wife) and I keep feeling guilty, even though I didn't actually do anything. Am I the asshole?"

Now, OP regrets making the joke, and wonders if he is the jerk in this situation.

MilkyLikeCereal thinks everyone is overreacting.

"NTA. These people are being really harsh. If he just farted in your biscuits why did he make the leap to think you did a whole shit in the cake? He overreacted"

AgitatedDefinition thinks OP's brother overreacted because he knows he deserves karma.

"Imagine thinking a prank you did ruined your brother so much that he'd shit in your wedding cake, but still telling that story over and over again. Definitely NTA."

OneTwoWee000 pointed out how impossible it would be to poop in a wedding cake.

"NTA. Your brother and his new wife are really dumb if they think the baker would leave the cake mix or icing unattended for the groom’s brother to take a shit it in and then serve that to guests!"

"Most wedding cakes come assembled already, not baked on the premises. When would you have the opportunity to shit in the cake? And how would none of the bakers nor the venue servers not realize the cake smells like excrement?"

"They overreacted big time and clearly think very lowly of you if they think you’d even do something like that."

"Your brother is an *sshole and I’m glad his wedding cake moment was disrupted. His guilt and thinking of what he is capable of is why he even thought this was a real possibility. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Not you OP, but him."

CapableBrain thinks everyone in the story is at fault.

"ESH. I really hope this is a true story, and I'd be super impressed if you just made this up."

"If brother didn't want retaliation, he shouldn't have egged OP on about the same thing for over a decade. Sure OP was heavy handed about it...but as someone who's been the older brother in this situation, he 100% deserved it. He must have been expecting some kind of revenge too, because he automatically assumed OP 'shit' in the cake."

"You owe him an apology, at the very least. If the older brother doesn't accept it and stays angry, he's a shitty sport."

At the time of writing this, most of the replies seem to suggest that OP didn't deserve the blowback he received, especially since it would be near impossible for him to pull off that level of prank. The fact that OP's brother immediately went there in his head is more about projection than reality.

Family can be complicated, as a story recently posted to Reddit highlights. A guy turned to Reddit's "Am I The A**hole?" forum for advice on how he handled a tricky situation involving his cousin, and the cousin's son (the guy's "nephew"), who has autism. The son developed an attachment to the man's wife (his aunt) when he was younger, and has since insisted on calling her his "girlfriend." Although at first, the man and his wife thought it was "sweet," as the boy got older, they became less comfortable. Now, he's in his early 20's, and the man says the situation is starting to negatively impact his family, including upsetting his own young son.

During a recent visit, the autistic nephew had a "meltdown" and had to be "forcibly restrained" from following his aunt around the house. This caused the man's son to start crying, and resulted in the man asking his cousin, cousin's wife, and nephew, to leave his house.

He turned to Reddit to ask if he's "the a**hole" in the situation after his extended family got mad, telling him he should've been more sensitive.

The man writes:

I know from the title, it definitely sounds like I would be the asshole but please hear me out. I have an older cousin whose son, my nephew, is in his early 20s. My nephew is autistic and holds a part time job, but is significantly delayed in many developmental areas (I don’t know the specifics) and will never be independent according to his parents.

He explains that the nephew's attachment to his aunt began when he was a kid, and he "always wanted to be near her." She "gently" tried to discourage the behavior, but he insisted on calling her his "girlfriend."

Recently, my cousin and cousin-in-law have been thinking about relocating to our state because of recent job opportunities, and we’ve hosted them in the past when they’ve visited. The first time they stayed with us (before my son was born), my nephew seemed to develop a strong attachment to my wife and always wanted to be near her. He drew a picture of a heart and picked some flowers from our yard and gave them to her before they left, saying he loved her. My wife thought this was sweet and gently handled his crush by telling him she would always love him as his aunt, but she was sure he would find another girl to fill his heart soon. He told her no, she was his girlfriend.

Recently, his cousin and the autistic son were staying at their house when the nephew had a "meltdown" that caused both his son and wife to get upset.

This weekend, they were staying with us again and my nephew again wanted to be near my wife every chance he got. His mom and dad noticed and told him that because my wife now had to care for our son, she couldn’t pay attention to him as much as before. He got upset telling us that she was his girlfriend and had a meltdown, which caused my son to start crying. When my wife got up to take our son to another room to calm him down, my nephew got up to follow and his dad had to forcibly restrain him from following them. I stood up to block the hallway into the separate room just in case he got away from his dad.

The nephew's parents apologized for his behavior and vowed to "keep better tabs on him." But the man had had enough and said he "didn't feel comfortable" with his nephew being "so possessive" of his wife. He apologized and asked them to leave and get a hotel room for the rest of their stay.

Once they calmed him down, they apologized for his behavior and said they would keep better tabs on him. Here’s the part where I may be the asshole. I told my cousins I didn’t feel comfortable with my nephew being so possessive of my wife, and I know for sure she didn’t, especially since he seemed to be so jealous of our son. I told them I couldn’t allow their son in our home until he learned to control himself and understand that my wife was not his girlfriend. I apologized but asked them to get a hotel room for the rest of their stay and not to visit us again unless they left my nephew behind with people they could trust and knew would care for him, while they searched for jobs in our state. They didn’t say anything but looked saddened and went to the guest room with their son to pack up their bags.

He has since received criticism from his extended family for how he handled the situation and asked Reddit to weigh in.

I guess they must have told my extended family what happened because my paternal grandmother called me this afternoon, telling me that I should’ve been more understanding and that I was wrong to ask them to leave.

Am I the asshole?

Since the Reddit post received a lot of attention, the man added some updates, thanking everyone for their input and addressing some of the questions he's received.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment or private message me with their own experiences with family members who are/were autistic. There’s not nearly enough time for me to respond to each of the comments (which honestly surprised me when I saw how many had reached out to me), but I wanted to address some questions that had been asked.

He explains that technically his cousin is not his "nephew" but he refers to him that way because it's simpler than calling him a "cousin-x-removed."

1.) The first one is that technically, my cousin is my second cousin. My dad is an only child so the cousin I refer to in my post, is the son of my own dad’s first cousin (my paternal grandmother and his paternal grandfather were siblings). I’m not sure if this is correct but his autistic son would technically be my third cousin(?). The reason I refer to him as my nephew is because he’s the generation after mine in our family tree and it’s less of a mouthful to refer to him as cousin-x-removed. A lot of people have posted that it’s not correct to refer to him as my nephew but to be frank, I don’t care, and my family’s never followed this traditional genealogy nomenclature. I apologize if it was misleading in my post. Without being specific, in the western state I was born and grew up in, it’s not uncommon to refer to even close (unrelated) adults as uncles or aunts. I call him my nephew because my cousin and I were close and I still hope to have a close relationship with him if at all possible (though I don’t know how after this situation).

He clarifies that no, he is not "jealous" of his nephew calling his wife his girlfriend, because he thinks of his nephew as a "kid." He was only "concerned" for his wife and son's safety.

2.) Some have asked if I was jealous of my nephew calling my wife his gf. The first time, I thought it was amusing and was surprised that he had any romantic notions towards anyone, let alone my wife. Remember, in my mind he’s my nephew and I never thought of him as anything other than a large kid because of his developmental delays and normal (for him) childlike behavior. Regarding the situation that happened this weekend, I was only concerned for my wife and son’s safety. I didn’t know how he would react and followed my cousin’s lead, but wasn’t about to let him get near my wife and son once they left the room.

He doesn't want to talk to his cousin until they've both had time to "process" what happened.

3.) I don’t know what was said to my paternal grandmother but I don’t want to react in anger and want to talk to my cousin once we’ve both had time to process what happened and calmed down.

Commenters are unanimously supporting the man's decision.

Some are saying NAH (Noone's an A**hole Here) because it's a difficult situation, but the man did the right thing and handled it well.

algelb writes:

NAH. You were understanding the first time around, but this time he got physically aggressive and presented himself as a possible danger to your wife and child. It’s a perfectly reasonable request and you handled it very maturely.

And Cap-Abs agrees, writing:

Definitely, NAH! I have a brother who is on the higher functioning of the spectrum like OP’s nephew seems to be and is a similar age to what is described. He can become obsessed to the point of hurting himself or others with certain things. He has attempted to walk across a small lake chasing bugs (he was up to his chin in water). He fell out of his bedroom window attempting to sneak out of the house. He let a wasp repeatedly sting him bc he was studying it and only later registered that it hurt. He played with matches & candles in the kitchen and could have burnt the house down. He never truly repents or feels bad and is always concerned with ONLY if he got what he felt he needed. As much as I love my brother, I would be terrified for a poor girl if she got involved with him and he became obsessed with her. I have no idea is OP’s nephew is the same as my brother, but he is certainly displaying creepy behaviors.

Since the nephew had to be physically restrained and there is a small child that is becoming an object of anger this is a perfectly reasonable request. Also, he is IN HIS 20’s. No matter his mental abilities this is potentially an able bodied young man that has the capacity to cause a lot of damage to a house, woman, and baby.

And WhyAreYouUpsideDown writes:

This is a tough one. I'm so sorry for everyone in this situation, it just sucks.

NAH.

Your cousins aren't assholes, they're doing the best they can with the cards they've been dealt. They don't seem to be negligent or anything- they're doing their best to help him understand, but he just can't.

Same with the autistic nephew-- he literally doesn't have the capacity to empathize with you or your wife, and may NEVER learn to properly observe that boundary. Not his fault.

But you are absolutely not the asshole for protecting your wife and child from someone who needs to be physically restrained from breaking boundaries. You might have given them one more shot to see if they can keep better tabs on him, but why take that risk? He's upsetting your wife and your son, and you don't know what types of behavior he may or may not engage in.

Others are saying that this man is not the a**hole, but that his extended family behaved badly by getting mad at him.

Beep_boop_human says:

NTA (it would be N AH except for the fact they're telling people you kicked them out and your extended family isn't being understanding).

You 100% owed it to your wife to ask them to leave. You weren't being a jerk about it. You understand that he lacks the full capability to understand his actions. But that is why the situation could become dangerous. You wife should not be on edge in her own home, made to feel as though she needs to be polite while a fully grown adult is restrained because she isn't acting like his girlfriend.

YWBTA if you hadn't asked them to leave.

Stinktiere adds:

Hang on...your wife is hiding In Another room with your infant son, you are having to block the corridor and your cousin is fighting to restrain a fully grown adult to keep him away from her?

Can’t see how you’re the asshole for not wanting that situation again. NTA, because really, your cousin should have decided to go themselves.

beejers30 writes:

NTA. I understand both sides, but you have to be protective of your son. Jealousy is ugly and can lead to your nephew hurting your child, even though he may not be fully aware of what he’s doing.

And eternachaos writes:

obligatory I'm autistic remark

Hold autistic people accountable for their actions. Many disabled people (like myself) may have limited development in some areas, but if we pose a danger to you and children (which it seems he does), you have every right to bar them. You didn't insult the son or call him names, you weren't violent, you were extremely polite and kind. If he isn't able t control himself, especially if he's old enough to hold a job, he may end up hurting your wife or kid and not even intend to. Also, with all due respect, if he's capable enough hold a job, it's very possible he can understand 'no'. They need to not coddle him if it comes to that point or they can reinforce harmful behavior.

Seems like he handled things well and the internet agrees. What do you think?

Strip club employees definitely see a lot.

Whether they work in a club or provide private dances for parties, stripping is an art that should be respected. It's a job like anything else and all they usually want is to make their money and leave without someone violating their body or dignity.

If you are a regular at a strip club or you occasionally get roped into attending one for a bachelor party, remember to tip, keep your hands to yourself, spend money and be respectful. Don't be that guy who thinks they're clever because they "know you just want money." Of course they just want money! They're at work! Do you go to work without wanting money? Nope. Now STFU and tip.

When a recent Reddit user asked, "Strippers of Reddit. What do you really think of the people that see you perform?" dancers were eager to share. Go to the ATM, boys!

1. Cinnamon didn't say anything, "BigBodyBuzz07."

Generally depends on what kind of customer that person is really. The best kind is the dude who understands that it is all a game. They tip well, they are sociable and polite, may even be regulars with certain girls and are never a problem. The entire club staff loves guys like this.

The ones that the dancers hate? The "I don't pay for dances" guy who thinks that line will somehow make him desirable for dancers? Captain Save a Ho, his trademark line goes something like "You are too beautiful/smart/amazing to be doing this, if you get with me you can leave this behind". The pimps that go around asking the girls if they "Want to make some real money" are real pieces of shit as well. Then there was the ones that I really had a personal dislike for, the dudes who would try and wait in the parking lot at the end of the night because "Cinnamon and I really had a connection you know? She told me to wait for her!" No she didn't buddy, IF Cinnamon told you that, she did so knowing that I would be kicking everybody out of the parking lot before the dancers left for the evening.

The strip club industry is a weird place.

2. Interesting, "pickmeacoolname."

You get your share of creeps but mostly where I worked (a long time ago) a lot of young groups of guys just looking for a good time. Every once in a while you have someone who has too good of a time and gets rowdy and acts like an idiot. Granted I only worked 2-3 nights a week, people who dance full time (especially during the day) have a whole different kind of crowd to deal with. But customers are generally all the same, just looking for something to distract them from life for a while. Feels like a lifetime ago that I danced, my husband and I go together now every once in a while to get a private dance for a while and it’s way more fun being on the other side.

3. This is one form of therapy, "everyonesmomiguess."

Ex-stripper here: Of course I encountered all different types, but I am here to mention one type in particular (my favorite). There were a lot of customers who were lonely, or didn't have anyone to talk to who would really listen to them. They figured out that they could come in and pay for company. I would sit at the table with one of my regulars for a few hours and just talk. I made a point of showing that I valued them as a person and was genuinely interested in their conversation. He knew that he was taking up my time, and every so often would hand me another bill. I didn't pity them, I respected them for figuring out a way to engage with other humans and satisfy their need for connection.

4. Wow, "awquitasthewolf."

Depends on the person.

I've had stalkers follow me home. Creeps who tried to get violent with me at work. People who pissed me off.

I've also met some really wonderful people I'm fine with calling my friends. I just had a baby and invited two ex customers to my baby shower in June.

5. Damn, "RhinestoneHousewife."

Ex stripper here. Most of them were cool. We had one old guy named Cummer Steve that would get dances from the new girls and whip his dick out and jizz in their hair. He always had $300 in his wallet that he would had over before they made him leave.

Occasionally a douche bag would come in but they got handled pretty quickly. I once had a guy hold up a $5 bill and ask what he could get for that. I cheerfully snatched it out of his hand and told him that he could watch my ass as I walked away.

6. Damn, "formerfatboys."

There were the "he tried to shove his finger in my pussy so I broke it" nights, the "he got a champagne room for 3 hours with 3 girls and fell asleep so we got drunk" type nights. Indian dudes seemed to do the weirdest shit. A couple dudes just got naked in the lap dance booth or champagne room and got kicked out. One my girlfriend said she left for less than a minute to check in with the bouncer and returned and the dude was naked and had nicely folded his clothes next to him. Weirdly sweet but horrifying. They threw him out naked.

The thing I noticed though is that after a few years most of them really started to low key hate men. It's just generally they get exposed to men continually at their worst or most horny.

I think it ended up being toxic.

7. This is depressing, "pumpkinspicestripper."

You just realize what a toxic environment so many men grow up in and influence them as they get older. You've got guys cheating on their wives of thirty years, newly married guys going right out looking for a blowjob from a stripper, men with warped views on women, men who would rather be at a strip club than at their kid's baseball game, and even if you have male friends who don't go to strip clubs, you see similar behavior. And this isn't even getting into rapists, murderers, and pedophiles.

Being a stripper helps you realize how many men can be sexually attracted to women, but still hate women. It makes you nuts. And we really do just want you to be happy.

8. This makes sense, "madisonpreggers."

But what struck me was how many older, lonely, divorced, widowed or single guys desperately “needed” to be around female energy. They were all so sweet, polite, courteous and more often than not generous (if they could afford it, some couldn’t and that was fine too). I always got the impression the came to our place because it was there. We could have been selling ice cream wearing 50s housewife attire and they still would have showed up. It wasn’t about the skimpy clothing at all to these guys...just the chance to be around women who knew their name, their job, their story, etc...

It always made me very happy we were there but sad that society seemed so disconnected that we were maybe the only place they felt comfortable going where they wouldn’t be judged for what was simply a human need to be around other people of the opposite sex in a non sexual way.

9. Noooo, "kdhotwife."

The worst thing that ever happened to me was a guy orgasmed while I was giving him a lap dance and he didn’t warn me. Needless to say it got all over my upper thigh. I was completely furious!!

10. This is hell, "PrincessWithAnUzi."

It's boring. The conversation with customers is torture. They all say the same things dozens of times a night. They tell you how beautiful you are, blah, blah, how lucky some dude would be to have you. rolls eyes

They ask the same questions. "What's your real name?" "Do you have a BF or husband and what does he think of you doing this?" "Where are you from?" like we are at a church social. Jesus, we just want your cash, not to get to know each other. We're not on a date.

Also, we hated The Regulars. They would buy one beer and sit and watch but never buy dances. We would give them mean nicknames. One guy was plain looking so we called him "Brown Hair."

Working at the club is one of the rare times a woman is NOT actively looking for a man. Strippers see customers as walking wallets.

I could go on for hours. I stripped at the top clubs in Vegas, including a couple low rent ones like The Palomino, which is full nude. There's a difference in doing topless and nude. The customers focus on you differently.

11. Wise, "rosethepug."

I think nothing of them, which helps me build up the confidence to be naked in front of them. I have to literally view myself as superior.

12. Get it, girl. "jawnjett."

Honestly nothing. Unless you do something disrespectful to me I won’t even think about the guy twice. I just want to make my bread and move on

13. Wise, "sarcastic_providence."

Be Polite

Be Efficient...

14. A+ advice, "kidloca."

Ex stripper. The guys that came in and knew the deal were great. Tip the girl on stage, get a lap dance, be polite. The worst were the guys that thought they were smarter than the strippers or that they could somehow game us. Like, one guy I remember went on a whole rant about how smart he was because he could tell it was all fake and the girls weren't really attracted to the men. Uh, yeah dude, you're a genius. Or when they think they're funny by degrading the women. It's not funny and you're the one that looks bad. Honestly, for the most part I didn't think about the guys much at all. I was on autopilot most of the time and didn't judge them any more than thinking who looks interested in a private dance or who was a douchebag I wanted to avoid.

15. Yikes, "mizmoxiev."

I loathed the dudes who would come in on day shift, creepy lonelyhearts guys who would want to talk about how 'hot' your vagina is. As if hot girls dress each other, and talk about being hot in the hot tub. It was then that I realized our society had been ruined by advertising.

I had another gentleman ask me if I ever look down and play with my own boobs for fun. I told him the truth, they are glorified shelves and crumb catchers, once my kids were no longer babies.

I was also in Texas, and no matter what it is they always celebrated by going to the titty bar. Good or Bad, to the titty bar we go. Graduated College? Going to the titty bar. Got Cancer? Goin to the titty bar. Fuck. That comedian was right.

If you're a woman at a bar, and a man offers you a free drink, it's almost never free. There is usually the expectation that you'll get to know each other, flirt, or possibly hook up, and even if that's not tacitly expected free drinks from strangers can be loaded with silent assumptions.

In concept, if a man is hitting on you and you counter his drink offer with a cheaper food suggestion then it should be fine if you're still down to chat. However, there are men (and people in general) who strategically offer drinks in hopes it'll lower inhibitions and up their chances of a hookup. So, if a woman is down to chill but doesn't wanna get drunk, it throws a sober wrench in the whole plan.

In a recent post online, a woman named Jennifer Dziura shared the negative responses she's received from men when she countered their drink offers with food suggestions.

She opened her post by stating that many men who buy women drinks are hoping to purchase "a lowering of woman's defenses" and that has only been confirmed by her personal experiences.

She wrote:

"I've responded to this elsewhere around the Internet. Men who offer to buy women drinks are often intending to purchase a lowering of the woman's defenses. If you are a woman in a bar and a man offers to buy you a drink, try this: cheerfully ask for something nonalcoholic, while indicating a willingness to get to know the guy. At least 50% of men will be angry. They weren't offering a gift or just trying to strike up conversation: they wanted you to be drunk and to let down your guard. In my own experience, I have twice been offered a drink and instead suggested food -- in both cases, very inexpensive food costing the same or less than a drink -- and in both case the man responded angrily."

Dziura went on to share two different times when she countered a drink offer with the suggestion to grab cheap food and chat, neither of which were accepted enthusiastically.

It felt pretty clear that the end goal wasn't even getting to know her, it was gaming the chance of a quick hook-up.

"In one case, I met a guy at a concert. I liked him. He suggested going to get a drink, but I was starving and suggested the kebab place around the corner. I can't remember who paid but I had a cheap bowl of soup and the guy pouted and I never saw him again. The other time, I had done standup in a bar and an older guy offered to buy me a drink. I said I actually would love some popcorn, which was being sole ** at the bar for $.** The man got angry and acted like I had cheated him somehow."

Dziura's post quickly went viral and she received an in-depth response from a bartender who corroborated her assessment.

Erwin-With-Hairpins shared the ways they try to help women in uncomfortable situations, and drinks and tactics people can use to communicate discomfort to their bartenders.

"Gonna add on to this:
From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, “serve her a stronger drink, I’m trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?” usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her."

"Now, I like to think I’m a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl’s more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her.
But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don’t know is buying you a drink, they’re NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they’re buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down. So:"

They urged women to keep an eye on their drinks and never let a stranger carry them from the bar to the table.

"Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser."

They also assured readers that most bartenders don't care if you order non-alcoholic drinks and they can usually tell when a patron is navigating an uncomfortable exchange.

"2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time."

They ended the response by including a list of alcoholic drinks that are light and unlikely to get you wasted, but camouflage well.

"3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:"

"Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.

Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%."

"Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.

Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%

Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.

Hope this helps someone out!"

While it's certainly not ideal to have fears about men's shady intentions confirmed, it's comforting to know that bartenders are often keying in to what's going on.

Living in a house or apartment with thin walls is kind of like having roommates you didn't sign up for. But it can also be pretty entertaining. Someone recently asked people on Reddit who live in homes with thin walls to share the things they have overheard.

Here are some of the best responses:

1) Just me and my rabbit. From MancetheLance:

Years ago I had an upstairs neighbor. At 2am, every night, I would hear something sprint across the entire apartment. I realized three things, it was very fast, it took small strides, and it never deviated from its path. One day, I saw my neighbor outside and I said, "I dont know how you have energy at 2am?" He responded with, "Dude, I've been working the midnight to 8am shift for 15 years. Doesnt bother me at all".

That night, I watched him leave his house, drive off, and waited two hours. At exactly 2am, I heard what sounded like two feet hit the floor in his bedroom, and the marathon started.

A few weeks later, I see him outside. I tell him what I hear at night and he says, "That's strange, no one has my keys, it's just me and my rabbit up there."

2) Evil roommates. From Azurko:

I once heard a former roommate laughing with his then girlfriend about how they're fucking me over on money. Turned out they were taking my utility portion and buying various games and alcohol.

Instead of confronting them, I confirmed what they said with the utilities company (they hadn't paid the bill is 2 months) and I moved all my stuff out that day while they were at work. For good measure, I took myself off the lease and told them about the GF that had been there 6 months.

3) Ok but this sounds fun? From yesnogoodbye:

My upstairs neighbors taking turns zapping each other with a stun gun, hitting the floor, groaning in pain, and then laughing like Beavis and Butthead.

4) Sexing and decorating. From 3720-To-One:

I’ve heard and felt the neighbors upstairs having sex.

And apparently they like to rearrange the furniture at least twice a week.

5) The great seahorse debate. From ApplepieButterfly:

I once heard an argument that went a little like this:

"Stop treating me like I'm stupid!"

"You asked if Seahorses were mammals, Jessica!"

"THEY GIVE LIVE BIRTH."

6) Whodunit. From thedesertnomad:

Heard the couple next door arguing. The wife was furious because she realized he had been cheating on her after she found out she had chlamydia. He tried to convince her that she must have been the unfaithful one. She still lives there. He doesn't.

7) Shy opera singer. From _Funke_:

I actually manage an apartment complex where my office is surrounded by a one bedroom unit. The building is old and the walls are thin. The tenant that used to live in the unit was a quiet man but would frequently sing beautiful opera music. His voice was amazing and I loved it every time I heard him sing!

Then one time I saw him in the halls and made the mistake of asking if he was the one who sang these beautiful opera songs. His face turned red but he confirmed that it was him. I told him that I always enjoyed it when I heard him sing and that it would always brighten my day.

Never should have said anything because I never heard him sing again.

8) She wanted it. From stannndarsh:

“Yeah girl, you know you want this dick”

My college roommate. 3 kids later it’s apparent she did, in fact, want it.

9) Oh, William. From HungryLikeTheWolf99:

"William! We do not hit!"

His mom was visiting. He was 30.

10) Banging. From Cypher_Shadow:

The way my old apartments were laid out, the neighbors bedroom was right next to my kitchen / dining room. One night, I hear them banging (thin walls are thinner when the bed is hitting the wall) while I was fixing dinner. I just turned up the music and continued on with my life. Two hours later, I was cleaning up , doing dishes, and generally tidying up when I heard the familiar thump thump thump of banging. I think, good for them and bag up the trash to take out. Thump thump thump. I open the door and take my bag of trash outside. As I’m walking out, I see the male half of my thumping neighbors....walking in from his car.

Walking back from the dumpster, I see a half naked dude running out of the neighbors apartment. They moved shortly after that.

11) Gina, no! From oldmuttsysadmin:

"Gina, I love you! Gina no! Gina, dammit put the knife down!!" At this point, both the apartments adjoining to Gina's called the police. Gina's husband decided to spend the night elsewhere.

12) Dart drama. From Aromatic_Bird:

I lived next to a couple some years ago and they came home after a night out and started fighting about who was better at darts. I thought they were joking but it got pretty heated. Doors were slammed.

Edit: Since people are asking, they were playing darts at the bar earlier that night. From what I could tell they were playing as a team and the boyfriend wasn't pulling his weight and was super defensive about it (had an off night, allegedly). The girlfriend was mad he couldn't accept she was better. I'm no detective but think they had some relationship issues bigger than darts.

13) The puzzle. From excelsior1907:

In our old apartment our upstairs neighbor had extremely loud, theatrically enthusiastic sex in the middle of the day. The puzzle was that he would stop in the middle and we’d hear him walk to where the bathroom is, stay there for a minute or two and then walk back and resume in the bedroom. It was the same pattern every time. We could never figure out what that was all about. Any ideas welcomed.

14) Shower sex gone wrong. From Seldarin:

Not in my house, but I travel a lot for work and stay in a lot of hotels.

So far my favorite was hearing someone banging around in the shower for a while then this exchange:

(Loudly) "Hey! Wash my balls."

(Louder)"Wash your own goddamned balls!"

(Yelling)"Fuck you, your pussy stinks!"

They got quiet after that, probably because they heard me howling with laughter and realized people could hear them.

15) He's the piano man. From FultonHomes:

an argument about money while I was doing the dishes. It ended with a slammed door and one of them on a piano, hitting the keys like a maniac. Some people read, some people go get something to eat, some people exercise.. this motherfucker relieves stress by going crazy on a piano. lol

16) Om. From StarbuckXMachina:

I shared a wall with a Buddhist temple, so a lot of chanting and gonging. It was an awesome five years.

17) Uh oh. From EE327:

Couple upstairs would argue frequently. One particular evening, they had an epic battle. It was hours long.

About 2 hours into the argument (11 pm on a weeknight) we heard the woman shout “first of all”.

That was the moment we knew sleeping wouldn’t be restful that night.

18) Lmao. From greatergood2019:

I moved from far away, so I have a different state license plate than everyone else at the apartment complex. A couple of days ago I head my upstairs neighbor drunkenly ranting to his wife about what he thinks I'm up to. He's convinced that I'm on the run from something. I'm just in grad school lmao.

19) "Hello." From kittenkin:

My male neighbor from India belting out hello by Adele at the top of his lungs. It was magical.

20) From iMac_Hunt:

More what my neighbour heard...I'm a deep sleeper and was an even deeper sleeper as a teenager. My phone alarm was going off for 30 minutes and my neighbours could hear it through the walls, assumed it was a burglar alarm and called the police. Waking up to the police banging on my door was confusing.

21) Awkward! From AffectionatePanic:

"They warned me about you! I never should've married you!" - my 60yo neighbours.

And recently a heated argument between different neighbours adult kids. The son had caught his son (5yo) playing doctor with his sister's daughter 4yo). They argued very loudly about it in their back garden... which is completely surrounded by other houses and apartments. I think at least 30 households could hear it.

Edit: "playing doctor" means getting naked and comparing bits.

22) Blessed. From KiltedLady:

Someone sneezed.

We said bless you.

They laughed.

23) Working from home. From hausofelle:

my old neighbour was a cam girl and I could hear absolutely everything she said in every single session for a good 4 months. pretty much learned the names of her clients. I work from home and it was always a gamble whenever I had to meet with someone virtually.

A lot of people have scary memories of their parents losing them in the grocery store, but not many can say they were accidentally stranded by a partner at a gas station in the middle of nowhere.

In a recent post on the subreddit Today I F*cked Up a woman shared the story of how she got stranded while on a road trip with her boyfriend.

During their drive from New Mexico to Mexico, OP was napping in the back of their converted Honda Element. When OP's boyfriend went in to fill the car with gas, she snuck out to use the bathroom, not thinking to warn him.

"Last summer. We're on a road trip from New Mexico to Mexico. We have a Honda Element converted for living in, so I crawl in the back to nap while he's driving. He stops at a gas station in the desert of Arizona and while he's pumping, I get out to use the bathroom. Come back out, don't see him, and walk around the parking lot to have a look.

When OP emerged from the bathroom, she didn't see him, but assumed he'd moved the car.

However, when she got to the parking lot it was clear he was gone. It took a minute for the reality to sink in before she went to call him from her phone, quickly realizing her phone was also in the car.

"I jokingly think to myself that maybe he drove off not knowing that i got out to use the restroom, but brush that off. I sit on a bench outside twiddling my thumbs, realizing this may now actually be the case. I reach for my phone to call him, but of course my phone is in the car."

When OP asked the cashier to use the mini mart phone, they refused - which forced her to ask strangers to use their phones.

Sadly, OP didn't remember her boyfriend's phone number and by the time she was able to track it down, his phone had died.

"I go back inside to ask the cashier to use their phone, but she says they don't have one. Obviously they do, but whatever. So I start asking random people in the store to use their phone, which makes people visibly uncomfortable because we're in the middle of nowhere and they think I'll steal it I guess. I go back outside and continue asking strangers for their phone. I realize I don't know my boyfriends number by heart so I just call my phone repeatedly, hoping he'll answer. He doesn't. I use one person's phone to log into my facebook to find my boyfriend's number, but alas, his phone is dead when I call."

A lot of people were suspicious of OP's sob story, assuming she was going to steal, but some kind souls obliged.

While OP was clearly distressed and crying, she noticed the store clerk eyeing her suspiciously through the windows.

"I resort to explaining to everyone whose phone I ask to use my situation. Some don't believe me, others feel really bad, and one man offered to buy me a hotel room for the night in the next town over thinking that my boyfriend left me on purpose and I was just being modest. It's been about 2 hours now. The store clerks through the windows have been looking at me suspiciously for a while, I'm still sitting on this bench in the desert, and have no idea what to do and start bawling my eyes out."

Not long after being suspiciously eyed, OP was approached by a cop due to her loitering.

Luckily, the cop had empathy towards OP and offered to drive her to a rest stop.

"A cop car pulls up and the officer comes to me and lets me know the store clerks called them because ive been loitering, haggling people for phones outside of their store and crying. I explain my situation and shes as confused and sympathetic as all the other people. She tells me I can't stay there so she can either take me to a truck rest stop in the town over or go to the police station."

As OP rode down the driveway with the cop, another cop called to report a guy looking for his girlfriend at the gas station.

When OP and her boyfriend were reunited they both simultaneously laughed and cried at the situation.

"I ask her to take me to the rest stop, although shes not convinced that my boyfriend legitimately left me there on accident. We're driving down the highway when on her radio another cop says he's at the gas station and there's a guy there looking for his girlfriend. I just crack up and she does too, flips the car around and takes me back. And there my boyfriend is standing outside of his car, banging on the windows and nearly crying because he couldn't believe he'd actually done that."

Apparently, OP's boyfriend assumed she was sleeping in the back of the car until he turned around to gush about some of the scenery.

At that point, he soon realized she was gone and quickly drove back to the gas station. Understandably, OP's boyfriend was nervous she was angry at him and that it potentially ruined their relationship.

"He said he was passing some really cool scenery far into the drive and went to wake me up to see too when he realized I wasn't in the car, flipped it around and drove faster than he's ever driven in his life to get back to the gas station. And that he wondered why so many people kept calling me, but didn't feel comfortable answering my phone. He thought for sure that was the end of our relationship and the trip was ruined."

Luckily, both OP and her boyfriend were able to move on with the rest of their vacation and enjoy it.

"EDIT: I understand IFU by not relaying my need to pee. Also that it all sounds really stupid objectively and in retrospect, but it makes sense how things happened at the time. Also have never heard of this Last Man on Earth episode until now, so that's pretty funny. I have many a text message/facebook post to prove this happened IRL.

Not so great Element/Trip pics: http://imgur.com/gallery/SVBZIwp"

"TLDR: went to use the bathroom while my boyfriend was pumping gas, he didn't know, drove off, and I was stranded, asking people to use their phones for hours until police were called to come get me."

However, it's highly unlikely they'll ever approach a gas station the same way again.

"If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job."

-Malcolm S. Forbes

Jobs are annoying as hell, but at least we can laugh at memes to make the time pass more quickly. Every meme you laugh at brings you one minute closer to retirement.

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In the era of social media, we all know or are someone who's addicted to getting attention. Someone recently asked Reddit to share about the worst "attention whore" they've ever come across (I prefer the term compulsive attention-seeker, but ok).

Here are 20 stories of people who will do anything for attention. Turns out, I'm not the worst one!

Some of these are a little (a lot) dark, so proceed with caution.

1) From terandir:

Sister in law. At our wedding she did everything she could to steal attention away from her sister(my wife). She wore a dress that shed had altered to be both low cut and short skirted. Then when no one was paying her attention kept "accidentally" dropping things so she'd would bend over to pick them up.

When her dad re married she was telling people at the ceremony that she had cancer, but had come to terms with it(she didnt have cancer).

2) From eclecticsed:

My fiance has been my best friend since we were kids. Once, in high school, he was dating a girl who decided that after scaring the sh*t out of him by trying to cuff him to the bed against his will, she was going to threaten to kill herself if he dumped her.

About ten years later I ran into her at a party. She was there with her husband and infant son (not the kind of party you take a baby to, but okay). She proceeded to tell me how they never technically broke up since, being 15 years old, his answer to "If you dump me I'll kill myself" was to just stop talking to her. And because of that, they were technically still together and she was "cheating" on him with her husband, making her son a bastard.

She was 100% serious, and she also told me to tell him she wanted an apology. This was in front of a lot of very stunned people.

3) From terandir:

Sister in law. At our wedding she did everything she could to steal attention away from her sister(my wife). She wore a dress that shed had altered to be both low cut and short skirted. Then when no one was paying her attention kept "accidentally" dropping things so she'd would bend over to pick them up.

When her dad re married she was telling people at the ceremony that she had cancer, but had come to terms with it(she didnt have cancer).

4) From MyBunIsMyBestFriend:

My grandma has to make everything about her. Literally everything, no matter the person or situation. And if the convo switches to where it’s not about her, she gets visibly annoyed and you can see the gears turning in her head as she tries to figure out how to get the conversation back onto her. She constantly re-tells stories she’s already told 1000 times back from when she was younger if she can’t think of anything recent.

If I have to ever again hear about how she was prom queen back in 1951, or valedictorian of her 10-person 8th grade class, or how whenever she goes anywhere, everyone just LOVES her (she literally says “and you know, they just loved me” all the time), I’m gonna lose it.

5) From the_purple_flowerpot:

My roommate's cat died last week. When she told her coworkers, one lady proceeded to start telling a story about a cat she kinda owned that never even lived with her that died 5+ years ago. She got so worked up that she started crying and the entire office started consoling the coworker instead of my roommate whose cat had died the day before. Unbelievable.

6) From _Pornosonic_:

I knew a girl in college whose father died at least 6 times over the span of one semester. Like, we would be hanging out, and then she gets a call, and then she drops the phone, her eyes go red, and the waterworks start.

7) From Pheonixxx95:

There's a girl in my college classes who claims her dad owns a huge soccer team but doesn't know the name, she's dating one of the LA Lakers but can't give his name out, but she is also talking to someone who's in the NFL to keep her options open. She says her dad works at a local steel factory and has no idea where his extra money comes from because he gives her hush money then called another girl out in class for "lying to fit in"

8) From lyingcats:

There was a girl who used to be part of this group of friends that I saw on the odd occasion when I was a teen. I only met her twice, but on both occasions she started to full on sing super loud whenever everybody else was talking and she was not involved in the conversation.

9) From AnimalLover38:

There was this British tv shwo about bad mom's and one of them made her daughter dress way older then she looked (daughter wanted to wear a t shirt and jeans to go out to eat, mom made her wear tights, mini skirt, boots, tight T, sleeveless over coat, and a boat load of jewelery. Kid basically looked like she was In a Disney show) and would make her daughter randomly sing and do her cheer routine in public because "you never know who's watching, people get discovered on the streets everyday!"

10) From screwedphilstudent:

Anyone who "checks in" at the hospital on Facebook

11) From radpandaparty:

Back in early elementary school during art I used to talk sh*t about my own art to get a lot of compliments from other students. My teacher noticed it and told me to stop.

12) From needs-more-sleep:

There was a girl in my college that constantly would say sh*t. During orientation she told people she was recovering from brain cancer (didn't happen) and was partially deaf (she wasn't). She then found out my friend had epilepsy so she started doing these exaggerated tremors. She then would fake seizures all the time for all the years she was there, which was a pain the butt because I would have to treat them like real ones. She did it once during a power outage for the most attention possible. She did it so often that once 911 hung up on someone calling it in because they knew it was her.

Edit: since I keep getting comments about 911 hanging up, I feel like I should mention that the person who called was also a dispatcher.

13) From Responsible_Rhubarb:

Girl in college would constantly try to get attention "oh my boyfriend dumped me", "my new guy beats me", "im gay", "im not gay", "i own a signed kurt cobain bass guitar" but by far the worst one " i was raped and the guy got sent to prison" gave people a paper cut out of a rape case but it looked odd, so i tracked it down using The Google and found she had altered it and it was some other girl... we all cut ties with her after that... f*cking psycho

Wow....just wow.

14) From NugRats:

My high school ex posted a picture of a knife to his wrist on twitter after I broke up with him for cheating on me and being pathological liar. He told everyone to message me and to talk to him (I cut off all contact) or he was going to kill him self. I hate that I was young and dumb, so it worked and we ended up back together

15) From LilEffinMermaid:

A lady that I work with is the biggest one upper I have ever met. In April I had major surgery to remove half of my digestive system and was given A LOT of attention from our concerned coworkers. She was not happy because she wasn't the center of attention anymore. Well, she found out she needed to have a DNC (outpatient procedure to cauterize her uterus and you're awake for the whole thing) she came into work she decided to milk it for all she could. And when she came into work the next day she was distraught over the fact no one came to check up on her the night before and wouldn't talk about anything but her recovery. By the end of the week she was telling people she was recovering from "cancer surgery." In fact she still complains that she is recovering from it and this happened back in April. She also told me (unsolicited of course) that the reason she didn't come see me while I was in the hospital was because her mom had died in a hospital 13 years ago and she is still grieving and going to a hospital would make her grieving process start all over again. I actually feel bad for her.

16) From Grandaddyspookybones:

Alright! In high school, my buddy was banging this girl who told everyone she got shot. I asked her to see the bullet wound and she pulled her shirt down a little so I could see her shoulder. You know what was f*cking covering her wound?

One single ace bandaid

Edit: Bonus story!! So she told my buddy he got her pregnant (condom did rip, so believable). She told him she wanted an abortion and needed $60 for it. He gave it to her. But I asked her how she was going to get it for $60. She said she was going to the hospital with a fake ID.

Edit 2: I forgot the worst of all. She was a loud and proud juggalette

17) From I_luv_a_good_ronking:

My ex sister-in-law made up a story that she had cancer....three seperate times... to try to get sympathy/attention.

18) From Mizamagician:

There was a chick in my high school who faked pregnancy, claimed to do drugs in the restroom with her drug buddies, and then told people I was the father. I never had sex with her because I kind of had the gay.

19) From MidnightCiggarette:

My two ex-friends, they dated in high school, were forced to split because she was legal age (19)and he was 15, got back together and just made a bunch of bad choices together (engaged after a month) and just constantly crying for attention

Every thing he ‘cooks’ (microwaves) goes onto Facebook and Snapchat with annoying voice overs of her going ‘ooo sooo good’

Constant posts of ‘oh my god I love my baby so much’ with lovey-dovey photos of them, but they fight and ‘breakup’ more than anyone I have ever known, if he pissed her off she’d text me a picture of her engagement ring being taken off.

They thought a friend snap chatting a picture out side of their house and not going to see them meant he had to be planning on killing himself, proceeded to spam all their mutuals with panicked messages until they found out it was basically just a ‘hey look I was in your town’ pic.

Not only are they attention whores but just a total hot mess all together

20) From shilpos:

A 'friend' joined me and two others in the Philippines for a couple weeks despite her never having traveled before and despite her having 12000 words to write while for uni we're there.

About 5 days in she goes storming off in El Nido in the pouring rain in the dark and claims she's tired. We tell her not to go but by this point shes been crying and complaining about the trip all week.

She's staying in a different room so we didn't hear from her until the next day because reception told us she had checked out but left her watch behind. She wrote on facebook we had been leaving her out (not true) and not being considerate towards her injury (a small graze on her leg) and we weren't being supportive with her uni work (aka not doing it for her).

Oh and by the way we're all around 26.

21) From bubzr8:

This kid who’s chilled out by now and I’m good friends with once was a huge attention whore, one day he walked up to our table while we were peacefully playing smash and pulled out one of those rolls of minty tape (that’s what I call them) meant to make your breath minty and says, “ I’m eating this whole roll and none of you are ever gonna stop me god damn it” and so we didn’t

"Great food is like great sex. The more you have the more you want."

-Gael Greene

If you're attempting to diet, I feel your pain. Feast on these memes and fill up on laughs. It's not as satisfying as eating an entire pizza by yourself, but what is?

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"Life's too mysterious to take too serious."

-Mary Engelbreit

Don't take life so seriously. Kick back, relax, and enjoy these memes that were hand-picked just to put a smile on your face this morning.

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It's not news that having a marriage, a child, a job, a social life, and a healthy physique is a challenge.

Sometimes it feels like there just aren't enough hours in a day to be a good spouse, parent, employee, friend and gym member. Of course, the first sacrifice to make when you're overwhelmed by the juggling circus of life is usually your work out.

However, we all know that exercise is key to our overall mental and physical health. It lifts not only our heart rates, but also our energy levels and mood--all things that contribute back to being a good spouse, parent, employee, and friend. And alas, this is where it gets complicated. On second thought, maybe it's not so tragic to be single forever and drinking wine alone every night with unlimited time? *Rearranges five year plan.*

When a woman on the "Am I The Asshole (AITA)" section of Reddit asked the internet for help with the stress of "having it all," people were eager to offer their opinion (and judgment).

AITA for wanting our nanny to stay for an extra 2 hours on weeknights, so I can have time for the gym?

My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter. We both work, so during the days we have a nanny come in. We still wanted to prioritize family time though.

I have been feeling really drained recently, missing the hobbies I did before we had our daughter. Back then; I'd do kickboxing right after work on Mondays and Wednesdays, and yoga right after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

And I realized I could still swing it, potentially.

My time away from home, work and commute combined, is 8:00 am - 4:30 pm.

My husband is away from 8:00 am - 7:00 pm because he works longer hours and had a longer commute.

If I started going back to working out, I'd still be able to make it home before 6 or 7 every day, and still be able to spend time as a whole family. To be honest, when I have been getting home at 4:30 every day, and taking over from our nanny, all I've wanted to do was zone out.

So I mentioned to my husband that I was gonna offer our nanny more hours during the week, so I could get to the gym. He went "ok" but didn't seem to be thinking about details, and he didn't ask any more questions.

So, for the last few weeks, I've been having our nanny stay till 6:30 every weekday, she's happy to have the extra hours and I'm enjoying getting back to my workouts. Plus I use Friday evening to do some grocery shopping alone because it's a lot easier than doing it with a kid in tow.

I was casually taking to my husband about our monthly budget, which I manage because I'm better with cash, and how I was offsetting the cost of having our nanny stay an extra 10 hours a week. I had stopped going out for lunch as often, and I'd replaced some of our usual purchases (soap, TP, detergent, shampoo, etc) with bulk purchases online.

And my husband was like "What, 10 hours? You said you were just going out to the gym sometime". So I explained my schedule, and he wasn't happy with it. He said he didn't want to be the type of parents who push their kid off on a nanny all the time. Work is one thing, but going out for hours everyday after work was another.

I told him about how it made me much more refreshed and happy, the time I all home. So while I'm decreasing the time I'm home a little, I'm really increasing quality time with my family. Because I feel energized rather than drained. I didn't realize how much I missed working out regularly until I got back to it.

My husband thinks I'm being selfish; he doesn't like that I want so much time to recharge from family time. He thinks it should be fulfilling, not draining.

And I'm honestly happy it is for him. But I'm an introvert, I like being able to spend some time just focusing on my workout and letting go of stress. And I really don't want to give it up, now that I've been doing it for a few weeks.

AITA for wanting this much "me time"?

This is tricky. Granted, I don't know what this child's specific bedtime is, but it seems that this plan only provides her and her husband 1-2 hours every day of actually being with their child? Perhaps her husband's concern was that working out every day is optional, whereas work is not. If he could be home earlier, he would perhaps enjoy more time with his daughter? That being said, if working out is the one thing that is keeping this woman happy in her schedule and her family life, there needs to be some way she can fit it in.

The people of Reddit weighed in:

"Violetsmommy" wrote:

Yeah, I am really confused on “family time” with this schedule. I have a five year old, and our bedtime routine (shower, snack, 15 minutes movie and bedtime story) starts at 745-8 pm. I work until 5 and already feel like we hardly have any time together during the week.

I think honestly both parents need to adjust their schedules. While I understand completely the need for personal time, I also feel losing some of that is just part of having children. I am the only parent for my daughter so I get maybe one evening a month to do something with friends and that is it. I see nothing wrong with exercise, especially if it has a positive impact on OPs mental health, but I think scaling it back is reasonable. Maybe just two nights per week? I also think OPs husband should be making schedule changes to get home earlier as well. It is unfair to expect OP to be responsible for all of the “family time” that is so important to the husband.

"afmastro" thinks she is NTA (Not the Asshole):

Another option, though not pleasant for me, but many people do it, is OP can work out in the morning before work. OP and her husband leave work at 8am right now. If he doesn’t want his daughter without a parent too long, he can take care of the mornings and OP can do afternoon.

NTA, OP. I don’t blame you for wanting your me time, but if you can swing getting up earlier, maybe go to the gym in the morning.

I don’t know if the fun classes are in the morning. The YMCA I used to belong to only had spin classes at 5am when they opened. Those are boring IMO. The fun yoga and Zumba classes were in the afternoon and evening.

Another option would be to look into maybe finding a designated place to set up a workout video in your home and getting some workout videos.

"rawbface" voted that she's the asshole:

Do you really spend 2 hours at the gym every day Monday through Friday? With those hours I'd be convinced my wife is cheating on me.

I have a baby at home and I have a very intense 30 minute workout that I'll do at the gym a few times a week. With changing and showering after it's probably an extra hour until I'm home doing home stuff.

With your gym schedule it sounds like you really want to get away from that 4 year old. Poor kid. You're entitled to me time of course, this just seems way excessive.

"bills13mq" wrote:

not for taking some extra time to take care of your mental and physical health, but for tacking on an extra TEN HOURS a week to do so.

I try to workout daily, and I’m having a really, really hard time seeing why you need two hours every day to get a workout in. 45 minutes should really be enough— bump that to an hour maybe for travel/simplicity. Doubling that time is frankly over-indulgent.

The fact that in the comments you compare your husband’s long commute to these two hour relaxation periods confirms for me that yeah, YTA.

"Malmrawr" voted "Not the Asshole":

Honestly kind of shocked at all the posters with the judgment. It makes me think they aren't mothers or don't have children. Women in general (studies have proven this) do more household and childrearing work than men, all other things equal, and I'm guessing from the details in this post that this is the case with your family as well. It seems you do all the shopping, all the budgeting/financing, and presumably most of the cooking and housework as well. And prior to your new schedule, you were also providing more childcare than your husband. What no one seems to acknowledge is that taking care of a child is work - and it's hard work. Yes, it is rewarding, but you should absolutely not be expected to sacrifice your needs for the sake of spending every spare hour with your four-year-old. Just because you aren't at work as long as your husband does not mean you don't deserve personal time. If your husband needs personal time too, then it's on him to bring it up and work to find a compromise that allows you both time to take care of your needs. I find time to go to the gym every day, and I do not regret it. It makes me a better mother. Also by your own math, you are still spending more time with your child than your husband. There's probably a compromise in there somewhere - shorten the workout, take the kiddo shopping with you on Friday, etc. - but you shouldn't ever apologize for taking time for yourself. NTA.

So, there you have it. This is a complicated issue. Most people on Reddit said this mom was in the wrong, but in my opinion, she's not. Even the hours she's using to not go to the gym (Friday) she's spending grocery shopping and providing for the house and her family. She deserves to do what made her happy before she had a child, and she's still coming home when her husband comes home. Cut her some slack!

An anti-vaxx mom is getting roasted for her angry response to a school's sign requiring children be immunized in order to attend.

In a less unhinged world, schools wouldn't need to post signs requiring parents use modern medicine to protect their children from deadly diseases, but this is sadly not the reality.

In the past decade, the growing anti-vaxxer community has become outspoken, with celebrity talking heads like Jenny McCarthy pushing scientifically debunked misinformation about the "dangers" of vaccines.

Because of this, many schools are forced to draw up rules and requirements about vaccinations in order to protect children en masse. In response, some anti-vaxx parents are choosing to homeschool their kids or transfer to schools without requirements.

A recent exchange posted on Imgur shows how one anti-vaxx mom lashed out in response to a school's sign about shots.

In the face of required immunizations, one mom threatened to homeschool her kids, and went on to declare all the reasons her children would be far safer at home.

The mom's response immediately ushered in a bevy of fellow parents expressing disapproval towards her dangerous beliefs.

Several people pointed out how crucial herd immunity is to general public health, so hopefully, the anti-vaxx mom lives near parents with more sense than her.

She responded by laying out why she believes vaccines are harmful to children (again, none of these reasons are backed by science).

When she laid out her beliefs that vaccines weaken children, it didn't surprise or convince the naysayers to convert to her beliefs.

While these exchanges can feel petty at times, particularly when it's a group of people piling on one lone mom, it's truly dangerous for people like this to send their unvaccinated children to school with others. Plus, their children deserve to live in homes that believe in the bounty of modern medicine.

Russia is getting in on Hot Girl Summer with it's own variation: Hot Mom Summer.

That's right, the current thread on Russian Twitter is showing off how beautiful and young-looking your mom is.

Russians are celebrating hot moms after a woman went viral with a picture of her mother, who incidentally looks exactly like Petra from Jane the Virgin.

"My mom is 43, and she can still steal any man from me," she wrote.

If you're thirsty for hot moms, there are dozens more!

Here's a beautiful 44-year-old.

This hot mom is 41, and looks suspiciously like a stock photo of a pharmacist.

She's 60 and has beautiful skin.

"My mom is 43 and it seems to me that I am the receptionist," a daughter wrote.

Side note: "I am the receoptionist in the relationship" is a fun phrase that should make it in America.

Every body is a bikini body, even if you're not blessed with this 53-year-old's abs.

This 48-year-old looks 28, except for those old school sunglasses.

Dame Helen Mirren is Russian?

"All moms know this mom. She's 40 and stole her daughter's boyfriend."

It's Hot Bob Summer, too.

Which........which one is the mom?

The classic Mother-Daughter trip to Coachella.

Not gonna lie...I'm more intrigued by the balloon man.

This Hot Mom is hardcore.

Congratulations to all these daughters on their hot moms.

May we all be as hot as this lady when we reach 60.

The #metoo movement shed light on the fact that sexual assault or harassment are a regular part of most women's daily lives. But if you're a woman or were born female, you probably knew that already.

Recently, a woman named Kenidra Woods on Twitter asked women to share their stories of being groped, catcalled or sexually harassed. She got an overwhelming large number of replies from women, and a few men, describing these incidents in almost every area of their lives—in public, at work, at school, with strangers, on the street, and at home. For many women, the problem began when they were children.

Many women pointed out the frequency with which they've experienced some form of sexual abuse or harassment in their lives, while others noted that almost every woman they know has experienced the same.

"Ladies, raise your hand if you've ever been groped, catcalled, sexually assaulted," she wrote. "I wanna show you how common this is."

Her tweet was met with hundreds of responses. Here are some of them.

Trigger warning: contains stories of rape and abuse.

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These stories barely even scratch the surface. Kenidra's initial tweet got hundreds and hundreds of replies.

Many women are pointing out that almost every single woman has experienced this to some degree. Those are bleak statistics.

And for those who have experienced it (most/all of us), it's often a regular/common occurrence.

And the problem begins to impact girls at a painfully young age.

Some women even fight back, though this is often not an option.

And sexual harassment does not target only women. This man shared his own account of sexual abuse.

Kenidra said she's received messages from women who have been assaulted by their husbands—a reminder that abuse can and often does occur within the home or from people we know or love.

She posted a response to all of the women who responded, and spoke up about her own experience feeling "like an object rather than a human being."

People sometimes like to grumble that the #metoo movement has "gone too far." But these stories should make it clear that it still has a very, very long way to go.

If you're dealing with abuse, you don't need to go through it alone. You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or chat online at RAINN.org.

2019 has been a trying year for us all.

The planet is slowly melting, our president is a clown, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth broke up, and it doesn't look like Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper are going to fall in love any time soon.

However, it's pretty hard to believe we're nearly halfway through it and we're about to enter the 2020's. Will we have another roaring 20's because the way things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if prohibition happened again...

In the meantime, we all deserve a laugh. Here are some people who are just barely making it through this challenging year:

1. Everyone who invented this floating tent.

2. This man who doesn't know how to make tea.

3. Oh noooo.

4. When your therapist owns you.

5. This drunk queen applying concealer to her lips.

6. This is anxiety-inducing.

7. She looks great!

8. Who approved this?

9. Love is complicated.

10. Being fabulous is a struggle.

11. Yikes.

12. This woman who lost her lobster roll.

13. It's always better to try?

14. This is amazing.

15. Genius.

Dating is tough no matter how old you are. Regardless of whether you've been on the scene for decades, or you're just spreading your romantic wings, there is truly no rule book for finding a meaningful relationship.

Nonetheless, there is an endless industry full of self-help books, dating advice columns, and dating experts doling out instructions on the dos and donts of navigating romance and hookups. So naturally, most of us with an ounce of experience have played our hand at love life guru from time to time.

Sadly though, the intentions behind romantic advice can often get lost in translation, particularly if you're talking to a teenager.

In a recent post on the subreddit Am I The *sshole, a 20-year-old asked if he was wrong for giving his 15-year-old cousin dating advice.

"AITA for giving my cousin honest dating advice?!"

OP started the post by sharing that he was a late bloomer and empathizes with how difficult the high school years can be.

Because of this, OP feels a particular solidarity with his 15-year-old cousin.

"Hey, so some backstory first. I'm 20M, my cousin is 15M. I was a late bloomer, meaning I saw how fucking awful dating could be, and then how it all turned round when puberty hit me like a brick house, so I have perspective on how shallow most girls can be. My cousin is growing up, he's decent looking for his age, but is quite awkward."

Since OP's teen cousin is shy and new to the world of love and lust, OP decided he would give him a list of dating pointers.

"He doesn't know how to deal with dating, since he's quite shy - so he's been asking me for advice. I gave him a list basically saying these things"

• Be confident, you're out for your own best interests

• Don't settle for second best - meaning don't go after a girl that's not up to your standards - likewise don't be a second option to a girl. The moment she mentions another guy in a romantic/sexual way you blast her from your life

• Be very selective with relationships. Decent human beings are hard to come by in the dating world, even when you've got it good. Most people in my honest opinion are good for short-term stuff but never as relationship/dating material. I told him that he's gonna make damn well sure a girl measures up before he gives any commitment.

• Deal with rejection quickly and efficiently. Get rejected? Move on - NEXT. Hanging around a girl that rejected you reflects horribly on you, it makes you look weak and is a waste of time for you. Don't hang around uninterested girls.

• "Are you doing the rejection? Expect the same, and don't take any clinging.

• If in a relationship, don't let her change you. You are you, never change your way of life for anyone"

OP's advice is fairly heavy on the emphasis that most girls aren't worth a relationship, and jumping into commitment isn't worth it.

"Anyway, my cousin took this to heart, he went to a party and apparently made out with a classmate. I'm proud of him, but his mom (my aunt) got to hear my advice and is infuriated. She told me I was "poisoning" her sweet boy, and that he's fine just the way he is, and that having relationships is wayyy healthier than my method, also apparently it's "toxic"?

Apparently, OP's cousin took the advice to heart and made out with a girl at a party with no plans to take her on a date.

Somehow, OP's aunt found out about the advice, and is now angry at him for "poisoning" her teenage son.

"She said I was being misogynistic and cruel with my logic and we aren't currently on speaking terms. Am I in the wrong here? I honestly think relationships are an extreme measure, most people are honestly not worth anything more than a fling (me included), and 15-year olds shouldn't waste their time with crushes and relationships.

OP is adamant that he was only trying to help his cousin by dissuading him from jumping into relationships as a teenager.

But now he's brought the situation to the internet for a larger consensus.

I only wanna help my cousin out here, AITA?"

Embolisms doesn't think OP is a jerk, because he's so young and still inexperienced himself, but offered some counteradvice.

"As someone a decade older, I think your advice is well meant but not fabulous. You seem really keen on the "no emotions ever until you meet the perfect person", but you're missing the critical empathy, consideration, and introspection you develop when you enter a relationship--especially true for younger people who blunder around still egocentric from recent childhood. I would be very loathe to dating someone older with no relationship experience (even if they've had plenty of sex)--it's a headache teaching someone how to share their lives and coexist in a relationship. Fine at 20, causes problems at 30."

"Be very selective with relationships. Decent human beings are hard to come by."

Lol at 15 years old, decent human beings are nowhere near fully developed. They're learning, growing, maturing. Relationship experience is important: you learn valuable insight about yourself, your wants, your needs, and most importantly--how to be considerate and empathetic towards another person who won't always be in 100% alignment with you."

"Not having any relationship experience, but holding out for tHe OnE fosters a choosingbeggar attitude towards relationships as you're anxious to choose The One--"weird thumbs. NEXT! I don't like one of her friends. NEXT! She said something I didn't like once. NEXT!" Except, you honestly won't know what to look out for unless you've had some relationship experience under your belt. I started dating later in life because I also had anxiety about choosing The Right One."

"It led to some terrible relationships, because I didn't have enough experience to notice the warning signs and red flags. It could've gotten too serious if it weren't for my friends warning me. Thankfully, because of the experiences I've had since--good and bad--I have a pretty clear idea of the qualities I'm looking for.... But you don't get there without experience. And you won't have experience if you refuse relationships looking for qualities you yourself don't fully know. See the problem?"

"Also, you're hardly a perfect person yourself--and gaining some introspection isn't a bad thing. Relationship experience is a two way street. Nobody is perfect, and with experience many young people are capable of changing or maturing if you're both receiving and good at communicating. If you've never had an actual relationship, you probably won't realize what a lot of your own faults are. Also, emotionally shutting down as a defense mechanism gets old quickly."

"If in a relationship, don't let her change you"

Refusing to ever mature because you can't handle learning to make compromises and sharing your life with another person? Do you really want to be 40 years old with a 20 year old's mentalities because you don't ever want to change?"

"Regardless, it's a step in the right direction and gave your cousin confidence to explore--15 is an appropriate age to start. You're only 20, it's just harmless peer advice--it's not like you're 45 coming from a place of expected wisdom and authority. NTA."

Kaleopolitis pointed out how the advice dehumanizes women in many ways, but ultimately took issue with the tone of it.

"NAH - Eh, I mostly take issue with the tone of the advice. You don't seem to treat women as people here, nor take into account the nuance of maintaining relationships. You're also coming at it from a logical point of view with little consideration for the very real emotional side. I feel as though you have a lot left to learn yourself, and I wish you all the best in finding your path."

"That said your aunt is ABSOLUTELY in her right to tell you not to give advice to HER child. Respect it, apologize, don't do it again."

blizzaga1988 pointed out some of the major logic flaws in the advice.

"YTA? There is definitely a strong air of sexism/incel-ishness to this advice, even if some of it is good. I definitely agree with the "be confident" thing. I don't agree necessarily with the "drop people who reject you" thing, specifically the "it makes you look weak" nonsense. A man being able to still function around someone that rejected them exudes confidence to me, not frailty."

"You also literally can't possibly know how a relationship is going to end, re: the commitment thing. You can never be sure."

"But probably the "never let her change you" thing is the most bizarre, especially to a 15 year old. What 15 year old doesn't need to change??? I agree that, you know, certain passions and interests shouldn't be given up for another person, but everyone can stand to improve themselves and make themselves a little better bit by bit.

Overall, the relationship advice you doled out seems pretty bleak."

beepborpimajorp pointed out the absurdity of telling a 15-year-old to "never change themselves" since compromise and growth is necessary for a healthy relationship.

"YTA but you're young and I'm hoping you'll grow out of it. Most girls aren't 'shallow' and by thinking that you're poisoning your own well, to borrow the metaphor. You're also being ridiculous with your whole BE VERY SELECTIVE AND NEVER CHANGE thing. How, exactly, do you think he's going to get actual experience in a relationship if he never lets himself have one? And dating/making out is way different than having a relationship."

"I have a feeling this is why so many people make it to their 30's without a clue as to how to treat their partner once they want to settle down. As evidenced by a lot of posts in this very sub. Your advice about him not turning into a 'nice guy' by pining over girls that reject him is sound. Everything else though...yikes."

Ultimately, the internet seemed to mostly side with the aunt's interpretation of the advice, while acknowledging that OP's intentions seem in the right place and he is still very young himself.